Hey what's up hello! This week, Kayla and Sarah talk about the upcoming holiday - April Fool's Day. The gals talk about all the things you shouldn't do on April Fools' Day, including coming out as a 'joke,' outing someone else, or getting braces. Take a listen and please don't prank us (Sarah will get very mad)!
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/april-fools-day
Donate: patreon.com/soundsfakepod
Follow: @soundsfakepod
Join: https://discord.gg/W7VBHMt
Buy our book: www.soundsfakepod.com/book
Hey what's up hello! This week, Kayla and Sarah talk about the upcoming holiday - April Fool's Day. The gals talk about all the things you shouldn't do on April Fools' Day, including coming out as a 'joke,' outing someone else, or getting braces. Take a listen and please don't prank us (Sarah will get very mad)!
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/april-fools-day
Donate: patreon.com/soundsfakepod
Follow: @soundsfakepod
Join: https://discord.gg/W7VBHMt
Buy our book: www.soundsfakepod.com/book
[00.00]
SARAH: Hey, what’s up, hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake, But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I’m Sarah, that’s me) -
KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl (that’s me, Kayla) -
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don’t understand.
KAYLA: On today’s episode, April Fools.
BOTH: Sounds fake, but okay.
[Intro music plays.]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: M’pod.
SARAH: That’s unoriginal.
KAYLA: I don’t know. I thought of a really good one the other day, just like, during the day, and I didn’t write it down and I should have. E-M’otion.
SARAH: [Sigh.] Okay, um
KAYLA: [Laughs.]
SARAH: Before we get into the pod, I just want to make sure we don’t forget to say this. Next week, the 7th of April, we will not have a pod out.
KAYLA: Taking a break.
SARAH: ‘Cause shit is hitting the fans.
KAYLA: Several shits are hitting -
SARAH: Several shits and several fans.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And we just, we don’t have -
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: - to create anything that isn’t worth your listening time.
KAYLA: Honestly - so I have tech week I’m assistant directing, which is hours of rehearsal every night per week. Sarah is directing a film.
SARAH: And that’s going to be the last big shoot weekend.
KAYLA: Yeah. So we’re just two busy ladies in charge of things, and truly I don’t know that I have an hour to give that would be coherent next week. So.
SARAH: Me neither. And I don’t have an hour and a half to edit.
KAYLA: Yeah. So sorry if social media has been quiet recently, I’ve been going through it.
SARAH: I started dying.
KAYLA: Ya know, me and Sarah are both dying. It’s fine.
SARAH: It’s chill.
KAYLA: We’re having a great time.
SARAH: So, ya know. I hope you enjoyed last week’s shit storm of an episode.
KAYLA: Thank you to the three of you so far that have emailed us with space knowledge.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Very exciting stuff.
SARAH: Very exciting.
KAYLA: Very happy you guys are so knowledgeable. We have a friend that’s going to be coming on the podcast soon-ish.
SARAH: Yeah. That we already mentioned.
KAYLA: Oh yeah. Perry. And he was telling me - ‘cause we know him in real life - he was telling me that he was worried about coming on with the topic he’s going to be coming on about because he was like, “Oh I don’t know if I know enough, or I’ll sound stupid,” and he listened to last week’s episode and said, “Oh I felt a lot better because you guys tried to talk about space. So if you guys are gonna do that, I can talk about whatever.” And I said, “Oh, fuck you.” Whatever.
SARAH: Okay, well this week we’re not talking about space. We’re talking about April Fools' Day.
KAYLA: Mhm.
SARAH: I hate April Fools' Day.
KAYLA: Hmm.
SARAH: I am super anti-prank.
KAYLA: You don’t like prank channels?
SARAH: No. I don’t think they’re funny, I don’t think they’re entertaining. They just make me feel bad.
KAYLA: Even, like, little pranks?
SARAH: What would you… Like what?
KAYLA: The classic, like - you put Sarran Wrap on the toilet so when someone pees on it, it splashes back?
SARAH: I fucking hate that.
KAYLA: Hmm.
SARAH: What’s the fucking point?
KAYLA: It makes someone angry? I don’t know.
SARAH: It makes them suffer?
KAYLA: Yeah. What’s the German word for getting -
SARAH: Schaudenfreuda?
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah.
SARAH: But it’s not schaudenfreuda, shaudenfreuda is like… I mean, I guess it kind of is, but you’re the one causing the suffering.
KAYLA: Yeah, but you’re still getting pleasure from someone else’s suffering.
SARAH: I hate pranks. Hate pranks with a burning passion.
KAYLA: Did you never do April Fools' Day stuff as a kid?
SARAH: Absolutely fucking not.
KAYLA: [Laughs.]
SARAH: I’m not a heathen.
KAYLA: Me and my sister used to do stuff or try to do stuff to our parents, I feel like.
SARAH: Kayla, I was afraid of the leprechaun.
KAYLA: Were you really?
SARAH: I was so afraid of the leprechaun because he messed everything up.
KAYLA: No, he didn’t. He was just walking around.
SARAH: Yes he did.
KAYLA: What do you mean, ‘he messed everything up?’
SARAH: What kind of leprechaun visited you?
KAYLA: None. Though I did think I saw one running down the street one time, but I’m pretty sure it was just a leaf.
SARAH: Leprechauns, like, fuck with everything.
KAYLA: Do they? Is that what they’re supposed to do?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I thought I saw the Easter Bunny once, too. That was terrifying.
SARAH: They’re like, chaotic, they’re - leprechauns are chaotic evil.
KAYLA: We should rank all of the, like, mythic holiday things.
SARAH: Easter Bunny, chaotic good.
KAYLA: Easter Bunny is chaotic good. He was so terrifying. I think Santa Claus is lawful good - no, because he breaks into your house. What’s evil but good?
SARAH: I think he’s neutral.
KAYLA: Is he neutral?
SARAH: Neutral … good.
KAYLA: I don’t think he’s neutral good, I think he’s -
SARAH: ‘Cause he also brings coal. I think he’s true neutral. Santa’s true neutral.
KAYLA: I think you’re right. What about the Tooth Fairy? I think she’s lawful good.
SARAH: She breaks in, too…
KAYLA: Yeah, but she brings you money.
[05:00]
SARAH: I mean, she’s a capitalist. She’s a capitalist.
KAYLA: It’s an exchange of goods, though. She takes your tooth and she gives you money. It’s a fair trade. It’s fair.
SARAH: I know. What a capitalist.
KAYLA: It’s fair trade!
SARAH: Well, I know some kids get more than others.
KAYLA: That’s ‘cause their parents are rich. And that’s why, if you’re a parent, you should tell your kid… you shouldn’t give your kid too much for their tooth, because then they go to school, and they’re like, “I got and American Girl Doll for my tooth,” and the other kids -
SARAH: For his tooth?
KAYLA: I mean, for me and my sister’s last tooth, we each got a bigger present.
SARAH: What.
KAYLA: Because it was our last tooth.
SARAH: We got either a gold dollar or a silver dollar.
KAYLA: Oh. I think we got money, and then sometimes we got presents.
SARAH: Also, the same thing with Santa. If you have children, you can give them big gifts if you want to and you can afford to, but the gifts that are from Santa should not be big gifts.
KAYLA: Yeah. If you’re getting an Xbox, it should not be from Santa, because then - it’s like Polar Express, where the poor kid is like, “Santa never came to my house.”
SARAH: Speaking of Polar Express, we’ve gone off the rails. Ba dum, tss. Kayla’s getting up and leaving. That’s my closet!
KAYLA: For the sound effect. The sound effect!
SARAH: Kayla’s going. Kayla!
KAYLA: That’s the door closing. Sound effects.
SARAH: Okay. Anyway. I fucking hate… we really went so far off! I fucking hate April Fools'. I hate pranks.
KAYLA: We should also rate the holidays, just in the… in the… moral square thing.
SARAH: This has nothing to do with our podcast.
KAYLA: Yeah, it is. Where would you put April Fools' Day?
SARAH: Chaotic evil.
KAYLA: Hmm. I don’t know.
SARAH: So -
KAYLA: Anyway.
SARAH: I hate pranks. I think it’s partially because of, like, I get very intense second-hand embarrassment, and it really comes atcha in a -
KAYLA: Have you ever, well I can think of a couple times that we’ve pranked you, but have you ever been pranked?
SARAH: Putting a bunch of balloons in my room -
KAYLA: No, no. That’s not what I was thinking of.
SARAH: Oh, yeah. Fucking hated that with a passion. I’m still mad.
KAYLA: Have we ever told that story?
SARAH: No, and we’re not going to. I edit this podcast.
KAYLA: But it’s so funny!
SARAH: I edit this podcast. It makes me so mad.
KAYLA: Why, just ‘cause you were stupid?
SARAH: No, because I fucking hate pranks.
KAYLA: But it ended up… the end was good, you got free things out of it.
SARAH: I hate pranks so much.
KAYLA: Yeah, but that one was a net positive in the end.
SARAH: I don’t even care.
KAYLA: Maybe can we tell -
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: No, no, no, listen. Listen. Can we tell the story at a later date and put it exclusively on Patreon?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: [Gasps.]
SARAH: I fucking hate pranks.
KAYLA: [Scoffs.]
SARAH: They’re stupid. Just intentionally making people feel bad so you can laugh at them?
KAYLA: Yeah, but that one was a net positive for you.
SARAH: I don’t care. It wasn’t a net positive because I felt horrible.
KAYLA: You got free things out of it.
SARAH: I don’t care.
KAYLA: Fine.
SARAH: I don’t fucking care. I hate pranks.
KAYLA: Well, good.
SARAH: Anyway, I hate pranks.
KAYLA: Really? I had no idea.
SARAH: And April Fools' Day is trash.
KAYLA: That’s it. That’s the podcast. Bye! See you next week! Just kidding, two weeks.
SARAH: But here’s the dealio. A lot of times, the fucking “pranks” people pull on April Fools' Day are not even pranks at all. They’re just shitty. And, I mean, I think all pranks are shitty, but whatever. But a lot of times you’ll see people where it’s like, they come out on April Fools' Day and they’re just like, “Ha ha ha, happy April Fools' Day!” And that’s not cool.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And I have some thoughts about that. Do you have some thoughts about that?
KAYLA: I mean, I think it makes light of a situation that, for a lot of people, is very serious and a very big part of their lives.
SARAH: Mhm.
KAYLA: And it also makes it seem like a joke.
SARAH: Mhm.
KAYLA: It’s making it seem like, “Oh, you thought I was gay? That’s so funny. I’m not.” Like them being gay is -
SARAH: It’s a punchline.
KAYLA: - very ridiculous.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So ridiculous that it’s the punchline of April Fools' Day, when you’re supposed to do things that are silly and ridiculous.
SARAH: I just made a really good joke. I think I said it too quietly for the mic to pick it up, but I said I lost my ‘train’ of thought, and I was like, “No. I lost my Polar Express of thought.”
KAYLA: There’s a sword right there and I’m gonna stab you with it.
SARAH: Umm…
KAYLA: Mhm. Sarah has a sword. No one is surprised.
SARAH: Okay, well, alright.
[Car horn sounds from the distance.]
SARAH: Stop screaming. There’s a car horn.
KAYLA: There’s no way they can hear that.
SARAH: I know, I’m sorry. So, here’s the thing. We started out friends. It was cool, but it was all pretend. Yeah, yeah, since you been gone.
[10:00]
SARAH: I’m struggling.
KAYLA: This is too much for me.
SARAH: April Fools' Day!
KAYLA: So you’re telling me we can’t do a prank?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: What about those, like, on YouTube, how people upload silly videos on April Fools' and be, like, “Got you!” Have you ever seen, like, beauty gurus will upload a tutorial that’s really bad but they’ll act like it’s serious at the end?
SARAH: That is stupid.
KAYLA: They’re like, “Haha!”
SARAH: That’s stupid.
KAYLA: Yeah. [Laughs.]
SARAH: You should never fake come out on April Fools'. Also, maybe don’t come out on April Fools' in general because people might think it’s a -
KAYLA: That’s the problem with April Fools' Day, is, like, if you’re actually pregnant, or -
SARAH: Or something’s actually happening. I know someone who got deferred from a school, and they found out that they got in on April Fools' Day.
KAYLA: Yes. That’s scary, because then you don’t know.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Really, I don’t think big news should be told on April Fools'. I usually forget about April Fools' Day, though.
SARAH: That’s how it gets ya.
KAYLA: But I think, also, being in college doesn’t help because I never know what day it is, really.
SARAH: Yeah. You know what the most important thing about April Fools' Day, the only redeeming factor? It is the Weasley twins’ birthday.
KAYLA: So what do you think of the Weasley twins, then? ‘Cause they are very prank-oriented.
SARAH: I think it depends on what the thing they’re doing is. For example, in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, when they set off a bunch of fireworks, in the movie, the soundtrack, the song of fireworks, very good.
KAYLA: Oh, so that makes it okay.
SARAH: No, but they do it to fuck with Umbridge.
KAYLA: So you think pranks are okay if they are at a bad person?
SARAH: If they’re - yeah, because they were creating chaos for the purpose of helping people.
KAYLA: So you can prank someone if they deserve it.
SARAH: Hmm, see, I don’t even know… I think what they were doing wasn’t so much a prank as it was chaos. I don’t have as many issues with chaos, as long as it’s not, like, rioting.
KAYLA: Rioting is good sometimes.
SARAH: It can be effective, but I don’t think the act of rioting is good, even though it can have good impacts.
KAYLA: Yeah, I don’t know.
SARAH: ‘Cause you’re just destroying property.
KAYLA: Well, it depends on whose property you’re destroying.
SARAH: I just, I’m frugal. I’m too frugal for that.
KAYLA: What about if it was, like, someone being held hostage, and they rioted and destroyed things?
SARAH: Then that’s not a riot.
KAYLA: Well… What if it’s -
SARAH: By definition, it’s not a riot.
KAYLA: What if the people of North Korea finally realized how shitty their situation is and they rioted and broke all of Kim Jong-un’s… we’re gonna get killed by North Korea after this podcast comes out. They’re gonna find us.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: And ruined his palace or whatever he lives in?
SARAH: That wouldn’t be possible.
KAYLA: Okay, you know what I mean though. What about that kind of thing?
SARAH: I mean…
KAYLA: Can those people riot?
SARAH: [Sighs.] I guess, I mean, maybe? It’s just, I think it depends on the purpose. I don’t know, I’m stressed and tired.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I don’t like rioting. Burning couches? Don’t even fucking get me started.
KAYLA: Yeah, that’s dangerous.
SARAH: There’s a school in Michigan -
KAYLA: They like to burn a lot of couches.
SARAH: They burn couches.
KAYLA: They threw bagels at police one time, too, ‘cause they couldn’t find donuts to throw at them.
SARAH: It’s Michigan State.
KAYLA: They are silly.
SARAH: They’re our little brother. They’re not even our rivals. Just our little brother. Yes, that’s true. Let’s piss off all the Michigan State fans that listen to the pod. All one of them. It’s fucking Perry. Perry, you go to Michigan.
KAYLA: Perry’s like me though, he was raised a Michigan State fan.
SARAH: I mean, so was I, but mama didn’t raise no fool. She just raised a Michigan State fan.
KAYLA: So she raised a fool -
SARAH: It’s true.
KAYLA: - is what I’m hearing.
SARAH: Anyway, we’ve -
KAYLA: We’ve done it again.
SARAH: Gone off the Polar Express. Oh. April Fools'. You shouldn’t fake come out, you shouldn’t fake “out” someone else.
KAYLA: Ugh. No.
SARAH: You shouldn’t real “out” someone else. You should never out someone else, but, like, you shouldn’t do that shit.
[15:00]
SARAH: What else shouldn’t you do?
KAYLA: Uh, don’t fake being pregnant.
SARAH: Don’t fake being pregnant.
KAYLA: I wouldn’t fake an engagement.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I know that doesn’t seem really harmful, but like, I don’t know.
SARAH: Honestly, I think if you fake an engagement, the biggest backlash might be on you and your significant other.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because people will be like, “Oh my god, I’m so happy for you!” Or, like, “What the fuck?” and then you’ll reflect on your own relationship and then you’ll be like, “Oh, wait.” Or like if people are super happy and then disappointed, but then you’re like, “I’m not ready for this, there’s expectations now.”
KAYLA: I feel like if you get engaged, that might be when someone finally comes forward and is like, “I think your relationship is really bad, don’t do this.” And then you’re like, “What? It wasn’t real. What?”
SARAH: Honestly, if you’re with someone who wants to play a prank on April Fools' Day, dump them immediately.
KAYLA: Okay, Sarah, I don’t think many people have as vicious thoughts about pranks as you do.
SARAH: I do.
KAYLA: Okay, but that doesn’t mean that they need to.
SARAH: And they don’t, ‘cause they’re not gonna get married, ‘cause they prank.
KAYLA: Jesus. I was listening in on some random conversation from people that were sitting near me the other day, and it must’ve been a sociology class or something, and they had to do an act in public and see how people responded - I actually had to do that in my sociology class in high school. I had this giant teddy bear and I carried him around school for a day. That was my thing I did.
SARAH: Huh.
KAYLA: This girl was talking about how her friend wanted to propose to her boyfriend. Fake propose to him on the Diag to see how people responded, ‘cause it was a girl proposing to a guy, and the boyfriend wouldn’t do it.
SARAH: Yeah. Things you shouldn’t do on April Fools' Day. Give birth. Because -
KAYLA: What?! [Laughs.]
SARAH: People will think it’s a joke!
KAYLA: Just hold it like a pee. Hold that baby in like a pee.
SARAH: Hold it like a pee, like how a lot of men think periods work.
KAYLA: I wish. There was an episode of The Office where Pam is like, “I’m not going to the hospital yet, ‘cause if we wait until this time to go to the hospital to have the baby, the insurance will be less,” or something, and so she tries to hold it, and Jim is like, “Your water broke. Please stop.”
SARAH: In My Sister’s Keeper, she was born on December 31st, and the nurses - this is a fictional book, but this probably happens - the nurses were like, “Do you want to try and hold out until…” It was, like, nighttime, and they’re like, “Do you want to hold out until January 1st?” And she was like, “Get this fucking baby out of me.”
KAYLA: Why does it matter, though? What are the pros of that?
SARAH: As soon as it’s new year, you’re the next age, which means that you’ll never have the issue of when you die? See, I retweeted this tweet the other day, which is a very valid fear of mine, about how what if you die before your birthday that year and the numbers get all fucked up? My birthday is in October.
KAYLA: What do you mean, “If the numbers get all fucked up?” What numbers?
SARAH: Okay. I was born in 1997.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: If I die right now, it’s March, okay?
KAYLA: Mhm.
SARAH: So I’m 21.
KAYLA: Yeah?
SARAH: But they would look at the numbers and say, “Oh, it’s 2019. She lived to be 22.” But I didn’t. I lived to be 21.
KAYLA: Who would be making that mistake? Who are you worried about saying that? Sarah, everyone that is gonna be talking about your death knows you, and so they will know how old you are right now when you die. Right now. Please die. Now. Die.
SARAH: I’m clearly the only person with this fear because it was on Twitter and I retweeted it.
KAYLA: Well, I’m here to tell you, “Don’t worry about it.” Everyone knows how old you are.
SARAH: But, like, what if someone’s just walking past my gravestone and they were like, “That bitch was 22?”
KAYLA: Then you can request that your exact birth date and your exact death date be on it so they can do the math themselves and know that you were 21.
SARAH: Oh, of course I’m gonna put exact. Why would I not put my exact birth - I have a great birthday.
KAYLA: Well, then don’t worry about it, ‘cause your exact birth date is gonna be on there -
SARAH: But who’s gonna do the math? Who’s gonna sit there and be like, “Oh, it was March?”
KAYLA: Why don’t you then write on your tombstone, “Died at this age?”
SARAH: That’s excessive.
KAYLA: Are you kidding me?
SARAH: Aesthetically, I can’t do that.
KAYLA: Then you have no right to be upset about this if you’re not willing to take the proper precautions.
SARAH: Do I have a left to be upset?
KAYLA: Oh, I had a burp coming and I really wanted to burp at you, but it didn’t come out.
SARAH: Don’t.
KAYLA: Much like you shouldn’t on April Fools' Day. Aye!
SARAH: Shouldn’t…? Oh I thought you were saying you shouldn’t burp on April Fools' Day.
KAYLA: Don’t boop - burp - don’t boop. Don’t boop on April Fools' Day. Okay.
SARAH: Boop all the dogs.
KAYLA: What are other things you shouldn’t do on April Fools' Day?
SARAH: Oh, this isn’t to do with April Fools' Day, but you know how some people propose -
KAYLA: Stop moving your chair.
SARAH: You know how some people propose by cutting the inside out of a book and putting the ring in there? That’s offensive to the book.
KAYLA: You have different thoughts on books than I do, so.
SARAH: Oh wait, no, we really shouldn’t bring this topic up because we have very different thoughts on books and I don’t want to get into this.
KAYLA: This is one of Sarah and I’s three fights that we’ve ever gotten in, is about our different care of books.
[20:00]
SARAH: Anyway, we’ve gotta move on.
KAYLA:We should do an episode that’s just about the three fights we’ve ever had.
SARAH: Well it was that one, it was about whether children can be evil -
KAYLA: Whether children can be evil.
SARAH: What was the third one?
KAYLA: If space, if there’s a middle point to space.
SARAH: I’ve taken astronomy classes -
KAYLA: SO HAVE I! Okay, you know -
SARAH: I would have to re-go through some of my research before I’d be able - you yelled into the microphone.
KAYLA: I’m sorry, I got very pa - we’d have to do that episode from very far away.
[Metronome starts ticking.]
SARAH: Oh no. I turned the metronome on. [Metronome stops.] I would have to go back and do some of the research -
KAYLA: I remember exactly what my argument was, too. It’s that you have to stop things second by second and there’s a different middle point per millisecond.
SARAH: There’s no center of the universe because it’s constantly expanding.
KAYLA: Yeah, but it expands with time, so if you freeze time, there’s a different middle point as it expands.
SARAH: But you don’t freeze time.
KAYLA: Yeah, but as it expands, the middle point moves as it gets bigger.
SARAH: But it’s infinite.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: It’s infinite. You can’t have a middle point to infinity.
KAYLA: But it’s growing.
SARAH: Oh no.
KAYLA: Okay, we should definitely do the episode where we just go through our three big fights, and people vote on who’s right.
SARAH: An eight-year-old child does not have the capacity to be evil. They can’t understand what they’re doing.
KAYLA: Did I say they were?
SARAH: Yeah!
KAYLA: See, now that I’ve taken a forensic psych class, I agree with you on that.
SARAH: Good. They don’t understand it well enough.
KAYLA: Yeah. ‘Cause we’re doing our unit on juveniles right now, like juvenile delinquency, so let’s -
SARAH: So, the thing is that two of our fights are unresolved, and one of them, I was right.
KAYLA: That one… I don’t know that there’s an objective truth to that, though. Like, I agree with you, but I don’t know that we can go so far as saying that’s the correct opinion.
SARAH: Yeah, ‘cause some people would argue that there’s no pure evil to begin with.
KAYLA: See, now that you bring that up, though, yeah. Because evil is a construct.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Ok, so I can’t agree with you anymore.
SARAH: [Sighs.] It was a beautiful 30 seconds.
KAYLA: Of peace.
SARAH: RIP me and Kayla agreeing on whether or not 8-year-olds can be evil.
KAYLA: It was you - you’re the one that -
SARAH: Wait, so you’re saying that they can be evil? Even though evil is a construct?
KAYLA: I guess I’m refuting… now I am taking back that this argument is valid at all, so no one can be right.
SARAH: Anyway, that’s a sneak peak of one of our future podcast episodes where me and Kayla flesh out the three fights we’ve ever had.
KAYLA: What a healthy friendship! Me and Sarah have had three total fights.
SARAH: They were all freshman year.
KAYLA: The growing pains of moving in together for the first time, you have three large fights.
SARAH: You learn about each other. I would argue that Harry Potter versus Percy Jackson is number four.
KAYLA: I would agree, but other people were involved in that, and no one else was really involved in the other ones until a later date.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: When we made them get involved. So that one, I would say, is our third-and-a-half fight.
SARAH: Okay, cool. Anyway. Things you shouldn’t do on April Fools'.
KAYLA: Fight. Get in a fight.
SARAH: Actually, you know what, guys? I just remembered one prank that I find funny, but I can’t tell you what it is.
KAYLA: But the thing about that prank was that no one got hurt.
SARAH: No one got hurt.
KAYLA: The people -
SARAH: It was just, people were embarrassed for other people, and then they realized that they didn’t have to be embarrassed, and then it was fine.
KAYLA: And the only people that potentially could have been hurt were the people doing the pranking, but their reputations were already such that -
SARAH: They didn’t care.
KAYLA: - they didn’t care. So it’s not like their reputations were being tarnished, ‘cause everyone was like, “Ah, it’s just them being them.”
SARAH: Right. So this is very vague, but -
KAYLA: You know who you are.
SARAH: - pranks are only ever good if there’s literally no chance that anyone gets hurt.
KAYLA: Jesus Christ, okay.
SARAH: Well, it’s like, I hate videos where people get hurt.
KAYLA: Like AFV.
SARAH: Yeah, we watched a lot of AFV as a child ‘cause it was one of the only TV shows we could agree on, but honestly, I never really agreed on it. Just want to throw that out there.
KAYLA: I liked it. As a child, I thought it was funny, and then the older I get, the more I’m just like, “Ow.”
SARAH: The non-injury can be funny.
KAYLA: I like the ones -
SARAH: I don’t like injuries.
KAYLA: - with animals and babies being stupid. Those are funny.
SARAH: I just, I don’t like -
KAYLA: This is America’s Funniest Home Videos.
SARAH: Yeah, sorry.
KAYLA: People submit their home videos and they vote on which one’s the best and they get money.
SARAH: This was before YouTube.
KAYLA: A lot of them are people falling and getting hurt or babies acting weird.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: Or dogs. It’s like a classic cat video, but it was on TV.
SARAH: Yeah. On TV, because YouTube didn’t exist yet.
[25:00]
SARAH: I don’t think videos of people getting hurt are funny. Even if they’re okay.
KAYLA: You shouldn’t pretend you’re getting a divorce on April Fools' Day.
SARAH: You should not pretend you’re getting a divorce. You should not -
KAYLA: Tell someone they’re adopted on April Fools' Day.
SARAH: I mean…
KAYLA: Wha?
SARAH: I don’t think it’s funny, but what are the odds that they actually believe it?
KAYLA: If it was a young kid…
SARAH: If it was a young kid, maybe.
KAYLA: Maybe you could do it. It’d be funny if like -
SARAH: I feel like a lot of people say that as a joke, like, “Haha, you’re adopted.
KAYLA: It would be funny if I told you on April Fools' that you were adopted.
SARAH: That would be funny because no one would have the possibility of getting hurt because I would never believe you.
KAYLA: Yeah, but it would be funny.
SARAH: Marks that in calendar.
KAYLA: Tell Sarah. Maybe I’ll tell Miranda or Evan they’re adopted on that day.
SARAH: Evan can’t be adopted because he looks so much like his dad it’s alarming.
KAYLA: Yeah, well. You could tell me I’m adopted ‘cause I don’t look like my family.
SARAH: Kayla, you’re adopted.
KAYLA: Oh, fuck! Maybe I’ll tell some random person that we know that they’re adopted.
SARAH: Oh I thought you meant some rando on the street. Watch them be like, “I know!”
KAYLA: Oh, I have a professor that’s adopted, I’ll tell her.
SARAH: I know a couple people who are adopted. Just be like, “Hey. You’re adopted.”
KAYLA: April Fools', you’re adopted.
SARAH: And they’ll be like, “Yeah. I told you that ten years ago.”
KAYLA: Maybe for those people you should tell them that they’re not adopted.
SARAH: I know someone who adopted a child, what if I just said, “Hey, did you know your daughter is adopted?”
KAYLA: That’s fucking stupid.
SARAH: And they’ll be like, “Yeah, I went through a lot of trouble to get her.”
KAYLA: What else shouldn’t you do on April Fools' Day? You shouldn’t pretend to kidnap someone.
SARAH: Oh my god. That’s horrible.
KAYLA: My mom, in college, got some honors thing, and the thing you did with the person - like, their friends - were supposed to kidnap you and take you someplace so you didn’t know what was going on, then give you this honor. So her friends put her in the back of this car with a hood over her head.
SARAH: Hazing. I have a deep hatred for hazing.
KAYLA: I was at a study area today.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It’s Maizy’s, if you go here.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: Maizy’s.
SARAH: I thought you said Macy’s. I was like, “Why were you at a department store?”
KAYLA: I was in the local Macy’s studying. I was in one of those little couches. And so there was this guy being pushed around in a wheelchair by two other guys, and they were going up to people being like, “Hey, we’re on the hockey team,” or something, “and we want you to write your name and phone number on this shirt,” that the guy in the wheelchair was wearing for something. I was talking to someone else, I didn’t catch it. But they were only asking girls.
SARAH: Hmm.
KAYLA: And they looked like frat bros, so I’m hoping it was, like, real, and fine.
SARAH: Mmm…
KAYLA: I don’t think it was.
SARAH: Yeah. So hazing, for those of you who don’t know, is… it’s just like a socially acceptable form of bullying, to be honest.
KAYLA: Torture, sometimes.
SARAH: Torture, sometimes. Some people have died from it.
KAYLA: Oh, yeah.
SARAH: Fraternities, mostly, in colleges, when new brothers “rush” and they get into the sorority -
KAYLA: Fraternity.
SARAH: [Laughs.] Sorority. The fraternity. The frat. They oftentimes go through a period of hazing, where basically, it’s like initiating.
KAYLA: Yeah. So they make them… there were some that have people, like, poop and pee in a bucket, then you have to drink it, or -
SARAH: Or you have to run around naked for an extended amount of time.
KAYLA: I have heard of some funnier ones. There was some hazing that a guy had to run around campus all day with three balloons tied to his backpack like he was a Mario Kart car -
SARAH: That’s kind of funny.
KAYLA: - and other brothers would come and try to pop the balloons, but if he had three people orbiting him like the shells, he was safe.
SARAH: So I don’t think that’s hazing.
KAYLA: No, that was their version of hazing, but I think that’s just fun -
SARAH: That’s fun.
KAYLA: - and I think we should do it.
SARAH: It’s kind of like a game of spoons.
KAYLA: A spoons game, yeah. I know clubs that do spoons games.
SARAH: Yeah. But not the spoons card game. The other spoons game.
KAYLA: It’s like, you carry around a spoon and someone -
SARAH: And you can’t ever be without your spoon. It’s kind of like water wars.
KAYLA: Yeah. But if someone comes up to you and gets you and you don’t have your spoon, I don’t know.
SARAH: [Whispered.] Your spoon protects you.
KAYLA: But yeah.
SARAH: I don’t think that’s hazing though.
KAYLA: See, that’s funny. It’s like their version of hazing. Some people make them break into the Big House, and stuff, which I want to do so bad.
SARAH: But, I mean, a lot of people have actually died from hazing, where they get too drunk and they’re not taken care of, or they just do super dangerous things and they just die. It’s horrible, because they just feel obligated to do things, otherwise they can’t be apart of this group.
KAYLA: Yeah. It’s also just this, like, hyper-masculine… yeah.
SARAH: I’ve heard - one time I looked up -
KAYLA: Why would you do that?
SARAH: - I looked up the worst hazing and some of it was…
[30:00]
SARAH: …it was disgusting, it was disturbing -
KAYLA: There’s a lot of really nasty stuff.
SARAH: - and I was just… ridiculous.
KAYLA: Anyway, what else shouldn’t you do on April Fools' Day?
SARAH: You shouldn’t try and build a house, I don’t think it’s gonna go well. You might ask for a 2x4 and they give you a 4x4.
KAYLA: And you wouldn’t be able to tell?
SARAH: And they’ll say, “April Fools'!”
KAYLA: No, that… no.
SARAH: Maybe you have poor depth perception.
KAYLA: No one has that bad of depth perception unless they’re, like, blind.
SARAH: I don’t know… I don’t know!
KAYLA: And if you’re blind, don’t build a house without supervision.
SARAH: I once watched… [laughs.] You said “supervision,” and I was like “without super vision? Like, you’re blind! What does that mean?”
KAYLA: Mm mm.
SARAH: I don’t know, I feel like some blind people could build a house. You just have to be very skillful.
KAYLA: I would just, I would want them to have someone… I watched a video of a blind person driving once, so.
SARAH: I once watched a video about this girl who did gymnastics and she had no depth perception -
KAYLA: That’s terrifying.
SARAH: - and she was doing bars.
KAYLA: How?
SARAH: She was jumping between the bars. And, like, also vault.
KAYLA: How?
SARAH: Also, even, like, beam too. I guess it’s -
KAYLA: Must be a lot of muscle memory or something.
SARAH: Yeah, that’s what it was.
KAYLA: There was a girl -
SARAH: She didn’t always have bad depth perception, so she had enough muscle memory still in her that she could do it.
KAYLA: There was a girl who swam at my high school and she had one glass eye and I always thought it must’ve been so hard to see where she was going.
SARAH: I had a gymnastics coach who had a glass eye.
KAYLA: That’s exciting.
SARAH: Anyway, things you shouldn’t do on April Fools'.
KAYLA: Get a glass eye. Get tested for any diseases. ‘Cause then, what if they’re like, “You have cancer.”
SARAH: I don’t think they would do that.
KAYLA: Yeah, but I’d be scared.
SARAH: Yeah, I’d just be, like, paranoid.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: You shouldn’t… don’t tell someone that you have HIV or AIDS.
KAYLA: Oh my god, no.
SARAH: Or just anything.
KAYLA: Don’t tell anyone you have anything.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Don’t tell someone you have a crush on them.
SARAH: Yeah, that’s bad.
KAYLA: That’s mean.
SARAH: That’s mean. That’s so mean.
KAYLA: Don’t do it. Don’t ask someone out then say April Fools'.
SARAH: Don’t ask someone out.
KAYLA: It’s very rude.
SARAH: That’s a bad one.
KAYLA: Very rude.
SARAH: It’s very bad. It’s just sad.
KAYLA: Then the person might be like, “Yeah, I’ll go out with you,” and they’ll be like, “Ha, you like me?” Like I can’t -
SARAH: Don’t do that, it’s childish and stupid.
KAYLA: Don’t do that.
SARAH: Things you shouldn’t do on April Fools'.
KAYLA: Don’t pitch a big TV show or book or project, because then what if they’re like, “No,” and you’re sad, and they’re like, “April Fools'! You got it!”
SARAH: If they say no in the room, it’s really bad.
KAYLA: Still don’t.
SARAH: Usually they say, “We’ll get back to you,” and then they never do.
KAYLA: Still don’t.
SARAH: That’s usually how it goes.
KAYLA: Don’t do it.
SARAH: Don’t get a nose job. It could go badly.
KAYLA: Hmm. Yeah, but how is that a prank?
SARAH: I don’t know. Just -
KAYLA: Don’t buy your wedding dress on April Fools' day, ‘cause then what if the lady in the store is like, “Oh my god, you look so good,” then after you buy this thousand dollar dress she’s like, “Just kidding, you look fucking ugly.”
SARAH: Well, it’s an expensive dress, they might be lying to you anyway.
KAYLA: Well still don’t do it, extra risk.
SARAH: Get that commission.
KAYLA: Don’t go on Say Yes to the Dress on April Fools' Day.
SARAH: Don’t say yes to anything.
KAYLA: Don’t go on, what’s the show where they’re like, “You’re not the father?” Maury?
SARAH: Oh, yeah.
KAYLA: Don’t go on that show on April Fools' Day ‘cause then they’ll be like, “You’re not the father,” and the guy will get up and do the dance, and be all ridiculous, and then they’ll be like, “April Fools', yes you are.”
SARAH: Don’t go on Cash Cab on April Fools' Day ‘cause Cash Cab doesn’t exist anymore, and then you’re just going to get into a cab where they answer trivia questions, and then you’ll be like, “What’s going on?” and they’ll be like, “Haha, April Fools' I’m kidnapping you.”
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: That took a turn.
KAYLA: That’s stupid.
SARAH: You’re stupid.
KAYLA. Yes.
SARAH: April Fools'.
KAYLA: Aww.
SARAH: Got ‘em.
KAYLA: That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. Don’t -
SARAH: Don’t get braces.
KAYLA: What could go wrong, Sarah?
SARAH: I don’t know,
KAYLA: Oh my gosh.
SARAH: Maybe you have a prankster of an orthodontist.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: If you’re an identical twin -
KAYLA: Don’t get amputated on April Fools' Day, ‘cause what if they, like - you wake up and they’re like, “I amputated the wrong leg,” and then they’re like, “April Fools'!”
SARAH: So you think nothing could go wrong with getting braces, but they would amputate the wrong leg?
KAYLA: No, they wouldn’t amputate the wrong leg, and then they would just tell you they did and you would get scared and then they’d say, “April Fools'.”
SARAH: Oh, that would be awful.
KAYLA: What if -
SARAH: That’s why they have to write, “Not this leg,” when they amputate the leg, ‘cause it’s happened.
KAYLA: I watched this YouTube video of this girl that was telling her amputee story, and she had a bunch of people just write nice things on her foot before it got taken away -
SARAH: Oh my god, oh, oh god.
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: I don’t know if I like that.
KAYLA: Well, it was also painful, ‘cause her foot hurt. They were just saying goodbye to her foot. And she was like, “But it was also nice, ‘cause they couldn’t forget what foot to take off -
[35:00]
KAYLA: “- ‘cause it was the one with all the writing.” And she drew - you know the perforated lines with the little scissors?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: She drew that at the top, and she was like, “That’s where they’re gonna cut!” It was cute.
SARAH: That’s funny.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Things you shouldn’t do… Invade a country.
KAYLA: Get a tattoo. Don’t get a tattoo on April Fools' Day.
SARAH: I think you really glossed over ‘invade a country.’ I don’t think you should invade a country at any point in time.
KAYLA: But, like, why not April Fools' Day? What’s gonna happen?
SARAH: I don’t know, but a lot of other countries don’t necessarily have April Fools' Day, so maybe they would just be like, “Cool, April first, it’s time to start a war.”
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: What if, like, what if Rome were -
KAYLA: So you’re invading it as a prank? Is that what you’re saying?
SARAH: I don’t know.
KAYLA: You start invading it, then you’re like, “Psych! April Fools'!” Then you just, like, back out? Is that what’s happening?
SARAH: It would definitely start a war anyway.
KAYLA: Oh my god.
SARAH: What if WWIII started on April Fools' Day 2020?
KAYLA: I would be so unsurprised. Or April Fools' Day 2019.
SARAH: That would mean that it would start in 4/20.
KAYLA: Blaze it! Oh my god, that’s gonna be the best month ever. Everyone’s gonna be so high.
SARAH: I’m gonna hate that.
KAYLA: There’s gonna be a lot of good jokes that month. I’m ready.
SARAH: They’ll probably get boring.
KAYLA: Yeah, but they’ll be good for like a week.
SARAH: The Ross snake jokes…
KAYLA: Those are still funny.
SARAH: They’re just… it’s oversaturated.
KAYLA: Don’t -
SARAH: Change a lightbulb. It could be dangerous. Don’t… if you work at a pharmacy, don’t prank the people picking up the prescriptions.
KAYLA: Oh my god, yeah, don’t do that. If you’re taking a test, don’t put all the wrong answers and get a really bad grade and tell your teacher, “April Fools',” ‘cause they’ll probably be like, “No.”
SARAH: Don’t tell your students that they got a really bad grade.
KAYLA: Yeah, don’t do that, that’s mean.
SARAH: It’s like that one video of that one teacher who got famous on the internet ‘cause he’s a really funny dude and teaches elementary school in Royal Oak, actually. He had a thing which was like, I don’t love these… It’s like when teachers give tests on April Fools' Day.
KAYLA: Did you ever have the test where the directions would say, like -
SARAH: You read all the directions and the directions say don’t do anything on the test?
KAYLA: Yeah, and then the directions will be like, “If you read all these, color a picture on the back of the paper,” and then your teacher will be like, “Haha, you don’t read the directions.” I hated those.
SARAH: Yeah, ‘cause it’s like, I know this is a stupid thing. Then I read the actual directions and I do it.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: Yeah, I’m not a huge fan of teachers giving fake tests. This one was a little bit funny, though, when this one teacher, he’s like a second grade teacher, and he gave them a fake spelling test, and he gave them all completely made-up words.
KAYLA: Oh my god.
SARAH: And he used them in sentences.
KAYLA: God, that’s so mean.
SARAH: Which is, like, if I were a second grader I would have been scared out of my mind. But like, as a person who can obviously tell that these are fake words, kinda funny.
KAYLA: It’s also, like, I know you hate the videos where the parents take away their kids Halloween candy -
SARAH: I fucking hate that.
KAYLA: - and they’re like, “I ate your candy,” and the kid’s really sad, or they’re really sweet and they’re like, “that’s okay.”
SARAH: Sweet like candy, one might say. That rhymed… Polar Express!
KAYLA: Don’t ask someone to prom on April Fools' Day.
SARAH: Or Homecoming, or Sadie Hawkin’s, or any other dance.
KAYLA: See, we didn’t do Sadie Hawkin’s.
SARAH: A wintery dance, a summery dance, a disco as y’all Brits say.
KAYLA: Mostly unrelated, but I think that my first boyfriend - who is not my boyfriend anymore - is getting engaged soon, and how terrifying is that? Anyway. Doesn’t that make you feel old?
SARAH: Ah, yeah. It makes me feel alarmed.
KAYLA: Well, he’s Mormon. So.
SARAH: Don’t tell your family you’ve converted religions on St. Patrick’s Day. [Laughs.] St. Patrick’s Day!
KAYLA: Oh boy.
SARAH: On April Fools' Day or St. Patrick’s Day.
KAYLA: Don’t overdose on drugs, because then people might think you’re kidding, and you’re not, and you need help and you’re about to die. Don’t die on April Fools' Day!
SARAH: Don’t die.
KAYLA: And don’t get into an accident on April Fools' Day, ‘cause then you call -
SARAH: Don’t let someone else die on April Fools' Day.
KAYLA: - then, if you’re like, “I hurt my leg, come help,” someone might think you’re kidding. Don’t get hurt on April Fools' Day. Don’t leave your house on April Fools' Day.
SARAH: Don’t tell someone that you got a pet.
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: If you didn’t.
KAYLA: Yeah but it’s not a big deal.
SARAH: I would be so upset.
KAYLA: Oh my god.
SARAH: Like, don’t tell your child, “Oh, we’re getting a dog.”
KAYLA: Okay, I thought you meant just, like, if I told you, “Hey, I got a cat, just kidding.”
SARAH: I would still be pretty sad.
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: I would want to meet the cat.
KAYLA: Ok.
SARAH: I like cats.
KAYLA: You’re not gonna get to meet my cat in so long.
SARAH: I’m not going to get to meet my cat in so long.
KAYLA: That’s ‘cause you’re not gonna get one for a long time.
SARAH: I know, it’s gonna be so long before I can get any pets.
KAYLA: I’m gonna get one in June, and you’re not gonna see it. You’ll have to FaceTime my cat. Does that mean we’ll have a podcast mascot once I get a cat? You guys.
[40:00]
SARAH: Uh, things you should not do on April Fools' Day… call someone a fool! Actually, call someone a fool every day. I think that’s funny. I think it’s funny when people go, “You’re being foolish!” It’s funny.
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: “Foolish” just sounds like an old-timey word to me, and I know it’s not, really, but it just sounds like it, and so I think it’s funny when people in the modern day use it in a completely genuine manner. One time, we were playing Quidditch, and someone goes, “Oh, that was foolish,” and I thought it was so funny.
KAYLA: Jesus Christ.
SARAH: Use the word “foolish” constantly, also on April Fools' Day.
KAYLA: Don’t resurrect yourself on April Fools' Day, ‘cause people will be like, “This ain’t it.”
SARAH: Don’t resurrect yourself, Jesus.
KAYLA: Don’t crucify someone on April Fools'.
SARAH: Don’t -
KAYLA: Don’t -
SARAH: Don’t!
KAYLA: Don’t make a new planet and human race on April Fools' Day, @God.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Don’t give Eve the apple on April Fools' Day, ‘cause she probably - I bet that wasn’t April Fools' Day, and so she thought it wasn’t gonna do anything, and then that bitch ate the apple and she was like, “Fuck, it was real.”
SARAH: Yes, of course. At the beginning of creation, when this totally happened, they had the concept of April Fools' Day already.
KAYLA: Yeah, that came with it.
SARAH: And so - how long after the Creation Myth was that apple thing?
KAYLA: During it. What do you mean?
SARAH: Okay, so, during it?
KAYLA: What do you mean?
SARAH: So, creation started in April? Like, the end of March?
KAYLA: Well, I guess -
SARAH: The first day was, like, March 27th?
KAYLA: When did he make the humans, was it the last day?
SARAH: On the last day he rested, Kayla.
KAYLA: Okay, so the second to last day?
SARAH: It was the 6th day. Yeah.
KAYLA: So that was a Saturday, ‘cause Sunday is the day of rest. So on Saturday he made the people. But I think for a while, they were living and they were chill. But I don’t know how long they were chilling.
SARAH: I don’t know that it was three months.
KAYLA: Maybe they were created in March, and then the apple happened.
SARAH: Why is January the first month?
KAYLA: Mhm.
SARAH: I like how we’re really questioning this. Anyway. Don’t discover an alien race.
KAYLA: On April Fools' Day?
SARAH: Don’t have Opportunity die. ‘Opportunity’ being the rover on Mars, not, like, opportunity. But Opportunity already died, so.
KAYLA: Don’t discover a cure to, like, a disease on April Fools' Day, ‘cause no one will believe you.
SARAH: Don’t tell your friends and family that you’re starting a podcast.
KAYLA: That’s, like, not a big deal. Who would care?
SARAH: Actually, they might be happy that you’re not actually starting a podcast.
KAYLA: Podcasting is the new ‘let’s start a band.’
SARAH: It really is, though. We were a little ahead of that train, but not by a lot.
KAYLA: Only by a little bit.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: The other day, I was hearing someone talking and they were like, “Oh my god, we should have a podcast!” And I was like, “Fuck, it’s me.”
SARAH: I’ve had a couple people tell me recently, “Oh, I listen to you’re podcast,” and I’m like, “I didn’t know you knew I had a podcast, but okay.
KAYLA: Wait, who?
SARAH: Just, like, people I go to school with.
KAYLA: Oh, well.
SARAH: Sometimes it’s just come up in conversation, and people have been like, “Oh, what is it?” And then I tell them, and they look it up and are like, “Oh, you’re on episode 70!” And I was like, “Yeah, like I actually have a podcast. It’s not just like I say I have a podcast and I’ve done two episodes.”
KAYLA: Yeah, I think that’s the thing, is like a lot of times people are like, “Yeah, I have a podcast,” ‘cause they just started it and aren’t really doing it, which is how we were at first. But at this point it’s, like, a serious thing.
SARAH: We’re in the 70s. We do this every week. We qualify for Medicare.
KAYLA: No, we don’t. We can’t even - what do you mean we qualify? Oh, our age. I was like, “We don’t make enough money on this to get anything.” We can’t even file this one our taxes.
SARAH: We’re 21, we would never qualify for Medicare. Unless they’re gonna change - there’s been some talk of changing the age for Medicare. Anyway.
KAYLA: I’ve been - I have a job - and I’m starting work in June, and I had to send them a paragraph of like, “This is about me,” so they can send it to the company on the first day ‘cause people work in different offices or whatever -
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: - and I was like, do I include the podcast? I’m not sure how to go about this podcast in the professional world.
SARAH: Yeah. I don’t often bring it up to people.
KAYLA: The problem is it’s on my LinkedIn, it’s on my portfolio.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It’s on all my social media. How long is it really gonna take them?
SARAH: Mine is less obvious on my social media. The link is my link on Twitter, and that’s it, and it didn’t used to be. I didn’t have it linked until we got our own website, SoundsFakePod.com.
KAYLA: For me, though, I feel like it’s an asset for me.
SARAH: It is. It’s a different situation for you.
KAYLA: Because for me, I can say, like, “Hey, my skills I’m using for this are applicable to the job I want.
[50:00]
KAYLA: This is me practicing my job on my own time. And succeeding at it.
SARAH: For me, I think it’s also a bigger deal to be outed by the podcast, because I know if I tell someone about it, I’m outing myself.
KAYLA: Yeah. That’s true.
SARAH: So I tend to be a little more careful. Which is weird because I am openly out on the internet, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I want to invite people I know…
KAYLA: Also, when I explain the podcast to people and they ask what it’s about, I can, removed from myself, explain what it’s about, and explain that it’s about asexuality -
SARAH: We talked about this before, when we talked about the Ted Talk situation.
KAYLA: Yeah, because for you, when you have to explain it, it’s explaining yourself, and for me, it’s me explaining you, which is a lot easier.
SARAH: Easier. Yeah.
KAYLA: Anyway.
SARAH: Anyway.
KAYLA: So if anyone has advice on how to deal with this podcast in my professional life, let a bitch know, ‘cause I don’t know what to do.
SARAH: But don’t fake her out on April Fools' Day, okay?
KAYLA: Don’t what?
SARAH: Fake you out on April Fools' Day.
KAYLA: Don’t fake what out?
SARAH: You! TL;DR, I hate pranks, April Fools' Day is shit.
KAYLA: Don’t send us a mean DM or email on April Fools' Day and then say it was a joke, ‘cause that hurts my feelings a lot.
SARAH: I will be so upset.
KAYLA: I will cry, definitely.
SARAH: Kayla will cry and I’ll just be angry.
KAYLA: ‘Cause that’s what happened last time.
SARAH: Cool cool cool. Alright alright alright. So what’s our pod for the week? Or -
KAYLA: Well, it was about April Fools'.
SARAH: What’s our poll for the week?
KAYLA: I wanna know people’s opinions on pranks. I’m pretty indifferent about it, and you are very against them.
SARAH: I fucking hate them. So, pranks question mark? Yes? Eh? No?
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Got ‘em.
KAYLA: That’s your fourth option? “Got ‘em?”
SARAH: Got ‘em.
KAYLA: No, that’s not, ‘cause then everyone will put that.
SARAH: Yeah, we won’t get an accurate - not that our polls are super accurate.
KAYLA: Sometimes they’re good.
SARAH: What’s your beef of the week? My beef of the week is that I’m getting sick. My throat hurts, I was playing Quidditch today and I was getting very tired very quickly. Also we have no subs. But I also just was not feeling great, and I have a busy weekend ahead of me, so, pray for me.
KAYLA: My beef of the week is that I also don’t feel good, but it’s, like, mentally. Ya know?
SARAH: Mhm.
KAYLA: And it’s annoying, ‘cause I was just talking to my therapist this week and she was like, “You’ve been doing so well lately!” And I was like, “I know!” And then literally two days later, after we were talking about that, I died, and I was like, “But we were just doing so well.”
BOTH: “Everything’s going so well!”
KAYLA: But I tweeted about being depressed yesterday and it did well, so that’s something!
SARAH: Kayla.
KAYLA: Listen, you gotta get something out of it, ya know?
SARAH: You can find our poll, Kayla’s depression tweets - you can only find those on her Twitter, not on the pod Twitter, I wouldn’t let her do that -
KAYLA: They might be.
SARAH: I would delete them.
KAYLA: How much do you really look?
SARAH: I get all the notifications.
KAYLA: Shit. Dammit.
SARAH: Yeah, I get all the notifications.
KAYLA: Well, that ruins that idea.
SARAH: I texted you today to tell you that we had a DM.
KAYLA: Yeah, I think I was in class when that came through.
SARAH: Also, I was confused, because I thought it linked to my personal, and the name was very similar to someone that I know in real life who it would make no sense for them to message me, so I was super confused. Anyway. Anyway. You can find us on the internet, if you want to find Kayla’s depression tweets, @Kayla_Kas.
KAYLA: Kas.
SARAH: That’s how you spell your name.
KAYLA: I know.
SARAH: I’m @Costiellie. I don’t know. C O S T I E L L I E. Did I spell that right? Yeah. SoundsFakePod.com is where you find all our things. We also have a Patreon. Patreon.com/SoundsFakePod. We have some Patrons. We have a new Patron, a new $2 Patron.
KAYLA: Which I just remembered, it would have been bad if I forgot.
SARAH: Mariah Walzer, I believe is how you say it.
KAYLA: Hello.
SARAH: Unless its ‘Maria’ spelled weird, but my guess is that it’s “Mariah.”
KAYLA: With an ‘H?’
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Mariah Walzer, thank you for joining the crew.
KAYLA: Welcome.
SARAH: Our other $2 Patrons are Keith McBlane, Roxanne, AliceIsInSpace, Amy Austen, Seagulls Anonymous, Quentin Polluck and Nathan Dennison. Our $5 Patrons are Jennifer Smart, Asritha Vinnakota, Austin, Andrew, Perry Fiero, and my Aunt Jeannie.
KAYLA: Aunt Jeannie just got her sticker in the mail, if you look at our Twitter - very exciting.
SARAH: Our $10 Patrons are Kevin and Tessa, @dirtyUncleKevin and @Tessa_MNisforK on Twitter, Sarah Jones -
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SARAH: - who can be found @Eternaloli everywhere, and Arkness who would like to promote The Trevor Project. Our $15 Patrons are Nathaniel White (NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com) and Anonymous.
KAYLA: What’s Anonymous promoting these days?
SARAH: I don’t know, I need to ask.
KAYLA: Oh my god.
SARAH: Thank you for listening. Tune in not next Sunday, but the Sunday after that for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: We’ll miss you in the meantime. Send us good thoughts, please. We’ll be dying. Til then, take good care of your cows.