Sounds Fake But Okay

Ep 93: Characters Who Are Definitely Asexual pt. 2

July 28, 2019 Sounds Fake But Okay
Sounds Fake But Okay
Ep 93: Characters Who Are Definitely Asexual pt. 2
Show Notes Transcript

Hey what's up hello! This week Kayla and Sarah talk about more characters that they believe are definitely asexual and some who are definitely NOT asexual. It's part two of episode 17! Wow we've been doing this for a long time.

Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/characters-who-are-definitely-asexual-pt-2     

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[00:00:00]

SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello. Welcome to sounds fake, but okay a podcast where an aro-ace girl. I'm Sarah. That's me. 

KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl that's me Kayla

SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality and pretty much anything else we just don't understand. Well, that was really fast. Hold on. I was really flying through that, sorry. 

KAYLA: I was ready. I was ready 

SARAH: I forgot what I say. 

KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know how it goes unless you start from the beginning.

SARAH: Me neither. We'll leave it. 

KAYLA: Oh. What am I doing now? 

SARAH: On today’s episode 

KAYLA: Oh okay, oh my god, let's leave this whole thing in maybe. On today's episode characters that are ace part two 

BOTH: Sounds fake but okay

[Intro music]

SARAH: Welcome back to the pod 

KAYLA: M’aro and ace. Thought of that one just now, do you like how you didn't have to wait for it, even though I just thought of it? Nice good. Okay.  

SARAH: What are we talking about this week? Kayla

KAYLA: This week we're talking about characters who are asexual probably or definitely in my case I really couldn't think of any and so I'm going to be talking about characters who definitely are not ace

SARAH: Well, okay, so we've done an episode about this before

KAYLA: We got…

SARAH: It was… 

KAYLA: We did all the good ones already

SARAH: It was many moons ago, but then I did a project for the class I was in

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: About this and I was like wait, I want to talk about it on the pod. But then we were on our friends podcast talking about it. So then I was like, I got to…

KAYLA: Have we mentioned that? 

SARAH: I don't know. 

KAYLA: I know tweeted about it. 

SARAH: We will talk about it when we get there 

KAYLA: Oh my god. Sorry Brad.

SARAH: Sorry Brad, but then I was like I want to think of some more but I couldn't utilize the internet anymore because we already utilized all the ones that we had found on the internet.

KAYLA: Yeah, we really did all of like the good ones. I truly… I mean when you were like, hey, this is the topic for this week So start thinking I couldn't think of any character at all ever Ace or not. It was the problem.

SARAH: But I also think the fact that it's so difficult for us to like think of this does say something about the way that characters are portrayed in media of like they're automatically sexualized slash Romanticized I guess and we're basically not given a chance to see them as anything but Allo. So, I think that is an interesting thing. 

KAYLA: Yeah, and I mean the characters that I have they're both from the same show but I think it's still an interesting conversation. So. 

SARAH: Yeah, this was also timed very well because just recently I was arguing with my friend Miranda about Katniss Everdeen being aro-ace briefly considered live debating her on the pod. 

KAYLA: Did you even ask her?

SARAH: No 

KAYLA: Sarah

SARAH: Well, the concept… Here's the thing. 

KAYLA: It's not like she hasn't been on like 10 times

SARAH: But okay we already talked about Katniss last time because Katniss is my big like she's aro-ace and I stand by it

KAYLA: Like she for sure is

SARAH: Yeah, and also, I was like, I just don't feel equipped to have this argument right now I would need to like go back and like reread things that I could be like prepared for the debate, you know

KAYLA: I just can't… so she thinks Miranda thinks that Katniss was like actually into both of the guys. 

SARAH: Yes

KAYLA: Boggling

SARAH: Mind-boggling 

KAYLA: Boggles my mind like 

SARAH: I am… It's absurd. Of course she's aro-ace. What are you talking about?

KAYLA: It like boggles my mind. 

SARAH: Well, that's my big main one, which if you want to hear me go on about it. You can listen to our original characters that are definitely ace.

KAYLA: Yeah, I'll try to link that in the description

SARAH: But the one that I realized in class as I was in my class about queer media in the 80s. I was like I want to relate asexuality to Queer media in the 80s, but like the conception of it didn't really exist So I was like, how can I do this and I was like, you know what I like that came out in the 80s Star wars and I was like, oh shit, you know, who's a fucking aro-ace bitch Luke Skywalker that's the tea.  

KAYLA: Yeah  

SARAH: So I ended up… we ended up being on our friend Brad’s podcast where we talked a lot about this. It's called Friends of the Force. It's a Star Wars podcast. Go check it out. 

KAYLA: I will also… yeah. I will link our episode. Do you remember what episode number it was?

SARAH: Five 

KAYLA: I’ll look it up. But I'll put it in the description below also but yeah, he's on all of the podcast things. He got on Spotify like right away, unlike some of us 

SARAH: Yep, well because he asked me for some podding advice when he was starting his podcast 

KAYLA: Yes. So we are giving our sage wisdom too. 

SARAH: We are. But it was fun, being on his pod was fun, but you I'll give you like the short version. Okay, here's the deal. I know that in like the extended universe there's like Mara Jade or whatever who he like supposedly maybe was going to be married to I don't know. Here's my deal A, I don't know the extended universe. B, apparently the extended universe isn't even canon anymore because they said so when they did the more recent movies when they did the three recent movies they were like, oh, yeah, that's not canon 

KAYLA: Yeah, because they kind of like wash over.

SARAH: Yeah. So, I was like, all right, so ignoring all of that he never has any sort of romantic interest. Here's the thing. He is the main character in a sci-fi film…

KAYLA: From like the 80s 

SARAH: In the 80s, if you think about like the leading man, they are always chasing after some girl and If you say Sarah, what about the time that he and Leah kissed? Okay, first of all him and Leah are siblings 

KAYLA: Gross

SARAH: But even before either of them knew that it was Leah who instigated it, there were actually multiple kisses in the script and every time it was Leah who like did it. Yeah, if you watch that scene where she kisses him. He's just kind of like… he doesn't really reciprocate he just kind of like freezes and panics a little bit. And also he never actually shows any like active interest in her or any other woman there are so many women in that series of various different like species I always say that word wrong on the pod speech not species. It's species 

KAYLA: Species

SARAH: We both say it wrong. 

KAYLA: How do I say it? Species?

SARAH: You say it species. Which is wrong and I also say…

KAYLA: What's it supposed to be? 

SARAH: Species

KAYLA: Species, nah, I think it's species take out both shs.

SARAH: I don't know, regardless, you know other…  

KAYLA: Whatever

SARAH: Other types of beings especially like in um in episode Six so like the third one that came out there's like the whole cantina scene because they have like a cantina scene in basically every movie and it's like these like women who are like dancing for Jabba the Hutt. 

KAYLA: Yeah, they're like strippers basically. 

SARAH: Well, yeah and it's like the whole thing is that like supposedly the audience for a film like this is going to be a bunch of like straight white guys. 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: But the fact that the main character still doesn't have any love interests given the fact that that's who the supposed audience is like supposed to be is absolutely Wild and then he grows old he like as far as we know never has a relationship like and everything for him that he does is about like his family and his platonic relationships and like it's about you know, his dad and like also when he finds out that Leah is his sister he does… He is so unsurprised like…

KAYLA: Yeah. He like doesn't give a shit

SARAH: Like, he's Like he's like oh like you have a sister and then he's like I have a sister and then approximately two seconds later he goes Leah because he knows because he never ever viewed her as some sort of like sexual like object or being or anything like he never viewed her that way. And so he doesn't even like think about the fact that they kissed because he just never ever thought of her that way. Luke is ace. 

KAYLA: Yeah, I really liked the discussion we had in the episode we did with Brad. I looked it up it is episode five. Um, so but I’ll put it below and it's really good and Brad's pod. He puts out episodes like all the time. It seems like he's putting out episodes like twice a week. So there's lots of content there if you're a Star Wars fan.

SARAH: He’s crazy 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: He also brought up on that pod Rey. he found an article where someone was talking about how Rey was kind of like an aro-ace icon and I agree. Give me the Finnpoe okay. And then let Rey be aro-ace that's. Rose... I like Rose, but you know what? She can do her own thing.

KAYLA: Yeah she can

SARAH: Relationship-wise you know

KAYLA: Yeah. 

SARAH: Give me the Finnpoe, Give me aro-ace Ray. That’s the tea. 

KAYLA: It sounds like the tea. 

[00:10:00]

SARAH: Yeah, that is the tea. So, the next one was the other big one that I thought of recently. I don't… I haven't seen anyone talking about this online They may have but I just didn't see it, Will Byers from Stranger Things 

KAYLA: I… that's a really good point. Okay, this brings up something that I actually thought about and then was like maybe I’ll bring it Okay, so I understand because are you referencing the scene where Mike is like well, it's not our fault you don't like girls. 

SARAH: I'm referencing all of season three.

KAYLA: Well, yeah, okay, so… Yeah, and I definitely can see that but here's the thing that I was struggling with Is I was like racking my brain for characters. I didn't even think about Stranger Things I was like, what have I even watched recently? That isn't like reality tv and I just watched all of Stranger Things and didn't think of it but so I was thinking of just like random characters and I was like Oh like this random character and then I was like no that character is a child and you can't give a sexuality to a child and then I was like wait, but I would be okay if I was like, oh this young kid is gay but why am I not okay with saying like this kid is ace? I don't know, but I do get where… like my initial thought when that scene happened when Mike was like, oh, it's not our fault You don't like girls. I was like a gaybee.

SARAH: A lot of people took that as gay, but I think his other behaviors, they just scream aro-ace to me.

KAYLA: No, I think I totally agree with that and it's like I feel like it's so telling that that wasn't my immediate thought

SARAH: Mm-hmm, and in I think in regards to him being like a kid, also if you think about the fact that like Elle an Mike have a relationship and it's like yeah…

KAYLA: I was thinking… I was thinking of kids younger than them. But yeah

SARAH: Yeah, um, but and I will say that I'm, not like a hundred percent sure on this because it is true that like young characters like kids are much harder to get a read on when it comes to asexuality. Um, I think it's harder to read as asexuality younger kids than it is to read other sexualities because like all allosexual people move at their own pace when it comes to like their sexuality and dating and like  growing into that and so It could be a person who is allosexual and just like needs a little bit more time before they're like ready for that but a lot of ace people think that they're the people who need more time and then they turn out to be like wait.

KAYLA: It was like the whole premise of our musical of being like a late bloomer, you know 

SARAH: All right. I wrote that. 

KAYLA: Mm-hmm. It's called Bloom. It was it was called Bloom. 

SARAH: It was I forgot I wrote a musical and we made it um, but anyway. But anyway, I think the signs are all very much there with him because like his friends are in relationships and he's just like Jesus Christ, like this is obnoxious Like I just want to like play D&D and like he almost seems so like childish compared to them in season three. This isn't really a spoiler yeah um like just because like they're in their relationships and he's like in his like wizard outfit like just wants to play D&D… and it… I don't think this was intentional but it almost came off as like he was being like childish and they were like being like older and more grown up, but I think that's like a very valid thing for him where it's like he just wants to do the things with his friends that he has always done with his friends and now all of his friends are obsessed with girls and he's like what the fuck is going on? Like I like why are you suddenly just a whole other like because they I mean they were acting differently and he was like what… 

KAYLA: Like what happened? Yeah.

SARAH: Yeah. And…

KAYLA: I feel so bad for his character

SARAH: I know

KAYLA: Like he… it really does suck because he's been through the most trauma of all of them and then like he just wants to be a kid and like have fun because he's been through all this shit and then everyone just like ignores him 

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: It’s so sad. But yeah, I totally see that. 

SARAH: Yeah, I think definitely the signs are very much there with him and so I've now adopted him as my tiny aro-ace child because he wasn't he wasn't really one of my favorite characters but then as soon as I was like, wait, he's ace. I was like, he's mine now. You're mine now.

KAYLA: I will be… yeah, I'll be interested to see if they go anywhere with his sexuality now that they've kind of like opened the door

SARAH: Yeah 

KAYLA: For that… not to… I don't want to spoil anything, but…

SARAH: Yeah, but also especially just because it has been established that the pretty much all of the other characters are at least not necessarily straight, but they you know would be into having a heterosexual relationship. Will is the only one that's unclear.

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: So I… that would be interesting and I hope they don't fuck it up if they do it 

KAYLA: Yeah, I'm very… I have a lot of thoughts about Stranger Things. I'm very interested to see where they go because they keep adding more characters and it's going to get harder and harder for them to develop characters properly if they keep adding people so

SARAH: Yeah, and those kids are getting old too 

KAYLA: Yeah, I don't think they're going to have that many more seasons but…

SARAH: I have a feeling this next one is going to be the last one

KAYLA: I’d say this… I think this one and one more maybe  

SARAH: Yeah, well because I was looking at a thing that was like how old will the actors be by the time that like the next one is out or filmed the youngest character like the youngest actors for like the kids not like the older siblings, but the kids, Millie Bobby Brown is going to be 16, I… Someone else is going to be 16 and then the rest of them will be 18 except for the kid that plays Lucas and he'll be 19. 

KAYLA: Yep

SARAH: So it's like they're going to be like…

KAYLA: The kid that plays Dustin is so old and it kills me because he looks like a baby 

SARAH: He's… Yeah

KAYLA: I think he's the oldest gate of the kids 

SARAH: Gaten Matarazzo

KAYLA: Yeah, I think he might be the oldest of the kids

SARAH: I'm googling it. I'm googling it. I'm googling it. 

KAYLA: After I watched season…

SARAH: He's 16.

KAYLA: Oh, never mind. Um but yeah after we watched that season me and my boyfriend looked up all of their ages because we were like what?

SARAH: Caleb McLaughlin is 17 currently, his birthday is the day after mine. I mean not in the same year obviously, but 

KAYLA: You know 

SARAH: Now, you know. Anyway, that's the tea I stand by that 

KAYLA: I see it. I agree with it. I like it. 

SARAH: Yeah. Um, so those are my like big ones. My next one was I was like who else could be ace and I was looking around my room at the things that I have here and I saw the Stick It poster you gave me And I was like…

KAYLA: Is that why you were watching it today?

SARAH: I'm going to get there. And I was like, I think an argument could be made for Haley, like the main character of Stick it

KAYLA: You might need to run through the plot of Stick It because it’s not a super well-known movie

SARAH: First of all, you all need to watch… stop this podcast and go watch it. I watched it illegally on the internet. All right?

KAYLA: Sarah, I think instead of making a podcast with your sister you should make a Stick It fancast 

SARAH: So good.  I also… I do own it on DVD, but it's at my parents’ house. I will say that I wasn't just watching it illegally just for fun because I do own it.

KAYLA: I don't think anyone cares. I think you're okay. It's a pretty old movie 

SARAH: 2006 man

KAYLA: It's old enough to stream illegally

SARAH: Yeah without much problem. Um but anyway, I was like I think Haley might be ace, but I would need to re-watch it. And so I was like wow, this just gave me an excuse to re-watch it

KAYLA: Oh my God 

SARAH: So, I re-watched it and my gut feeling is telling me yes, I don't really have any…

KAYLA: Okay, I just…

SARAH: Good explanation.

KAYLA: Stop go back, do a plot overview

SARAH: Okay, sorry, Stick It. Spoilers…. Well, I won't give away like the main like the big spoilers.

KAYLA: Sure

SARAH: It's about this girl named Haley who used to be really good at gymnastics.

KAYLA: It's a gymnastics movie.

SARAH: It's a gymnastics movie. She's really good at gymnastics, but and she was at worlds but she walked out right before floor and because of that Team USA lost. And since then she has become um, like a biker girl not like a motorcycle but a bicycle like she does a lot of cool tricks and things. She's got her friends Putin Frank and then she gets in trouble because she uh accidentally broke through the glass door of a house that was being renovated that they were using the pool as a ramp

KAYLA: Well, It's been a while since I watched this. I don't remember any of this 

SARAH: That's the very beginning. It's first scene.

KAYLA: I don't think I’ve watched this since I think the only time I’ve ever watched this movie was freshman year 

SARAH: Unbelievable. Um so she gets in trouble and they're like, all right, Haley you've gotten in trouble so many times. Your options are you go to this like Texas military academy or you go to VGA? Which is the Vickerman Gymnastics Academy and she was like, I don't want to do it. I will go to the Texas military academy and the judge was like too bad you're going to VGA because your dad paid the guy off.

KAYLA: Oh my God 

SARAH: Dad paid someone off? I don't know, for some reason she's like no you're going to VGA which is not the gym she originally went to, this is a different gym. But then she goes to the gym and she like doesn't want to be there But then like eventually she's like, all right fine and then there's just this whole revolution in gymnastics and Nasa Lucan is in it.

[00:20:00]

KAYLA: Uh-huh 

SARAH: That's my plot overview. 

KAYLA: It's not great but okay

SARAH: It’s the gist, but basically like she has these two male friends and there's kind of like this joke, but also a very real thing about how like these are all like very good gymnasts and they don't have lives because of it. And so like she has her two friends who are guys and the other girls are like who are… like what you know boys and she's like, uh, yeah and um and then there's also a scene where they're going into a meet which was at like a high school And there were like some people leaving after school like having a good time and um one of them goes, “what do they have that we don't?” and one of them goes “A life” and then one of them says something else and then Haley goes “boobs” 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Which is funny, um but like there's like kind of a romantic subplot between her male friend and this other girl at the gym, but she just has no fucking interest. She's just like mad at the world, you know

KAYLA: I can see it especially… There's a lot of just like feminist undertones in the movie or I guess overtones 

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: I see it

SARAH: Sometimes you just got to do a beam routine and have a single tear drop down onto the beam and sometimes you got to be aro-ace, you know?

KAYLA: Um, yeah

SARAH: So that's that tea. It is interesting too because then I was thinking I know that in the last time in the part one of this we talked about the Hunters of Artemis Specifically like the Hunters of Artemis in like the Percy Jackson series. Then I was thinking know about… Because we didn't really….  well, I don't know. This will kind of segue into what you're talking about because I was like I was thinking of the Hunters of Artemis I could think of and the only ones I could think of uh were ones that are definitely not ace because zoe nightshade not ace she was uh… She was dating that guy. There was a lion skin involved remember? 

KAYLA:  No 

SARAH: That was her the whole thing I don't think Talia is ace, I think this was just a life choice of hers to join the Hunters of Artemis. I don't really think Bianca, I don't really know. But here's the tea. Not all the hunters are ace. Is Artemis ace? Yes. Are all the hunters ace? Not necessarily. It's just a fun life choice. Who are the characters that you were like they're definitely not ace?

KAYLA: Okay before that I just want to… because people are probably listening to this and wondering so I know we've gotten like a lot of requests to do episodes on characters that are like canonically ace. Like um in BoJack Horseman and like talking about Jughead in the comics and stuff, we're eventually going to do that

SARAH: It just takes us time to consume that media and prepare ourselves

KAYLA: Yeah, we just need to consume the media and life has been crazy. So we're going to get there. We hear you. This is not that episode. I'm sorry 

SARAH: Yeah, we are going to do those episodes 

KAYLA: Eventually it will happen. I promise I just have to…

SARAH: I promise

KAYLA: We just have to get our lives together

SARAH: It takes time to watch BoJack Horseman 

KAYLA: Have you started?

SARAH: No.

KAYLA: Yeah me neither. Um Oh good

SARAH: I’m too busy watching Will Byers be ace. Okay?

KAYLA: I’m too busy throwing up everyone. Um, okay. So here are my two characters that definitely aren't ace. What show are they from? You guessed it, it’s Star Trek. Okay One, Spock. Now you're saying Kayla obviously he's not because he's with Uhura and I’m like I know but I don't think he okay here’s the thing in old Star Trek like the 70s and whatever when it was a TV show everyone was shipping him with Kirk and that was like literally the birth of fanfic and it was a big thing 

SARAH: Spock

KAYLA: Spock. And then in the reboot movies he was with Uhura and it was great, I'm just… here's my thing because when I was thinking of characters that were ace or like definitely not ace I was like I can see both of these characters are basically like I can see why people would make the argument but I think it's bad and here's why I think it would be really bad if they were ace. So that's basically what I’m here with because Spock is a Vulcan, right? How familiar are you with Star Trek?

SARAH: Me?

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: Pretty familiar. 

KAYLA: Okay

SARAH: Not as… familiar enough. 

KAYLA: Okay. I didn't remember. Okay. Yeah, so he's half Vulcan half human 

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: And the whole Vulcan thing is like they have no emotions and they're like super analytical…

SARAH: But they actually just feel emotions so deeply Kayla. 

KAYLA: I know but that's like the whole thing

SARAH: His dad loved his mom. 

KAYLA: He did and it was very sad. I should re-watch those movies they're damn good movies, okay.

SARAH: They're good 

KAYLA: So the whole thing is like oh you're Vulcan like you don't feel anything. You're super analytical. And so people could be like, oh well he must be ace because he doesn't have feelings or he must be aro…

SARAH: Just a different culture

KAYLA: Right

SARAH: Our culture is so heteronormative, but his culture is like that's not important to them. Also, I think it's just his personality, too. 

KAYLA: Yeah 

SARAH: And like the fact that he because I mean he is half human, but he grew up on Vulcan. 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And so he was raised in that society where like sure you may have relationships and have kids and stuff But like that wasn't the number one priority like it often seems like it is on earth Slash in western society slash, you know Wherever and that's not to say that there can't be ace people who are Vulcan because I think they're definitely can I just I'm, just not convinced Spock is one of them.

KAYLA: Well, I definitely don't think Spock is because like he's either with Kirk or he's with Uhura, but I just think like yeah, they're definitely…

SARAH: Throuple, throuple, throuple polyamory. Let's go. 

KAYLA: I mean, yeah, obviously Kirk. We all know Kirk would be in for polyamory. We all know 

SARAH: Totally

KAYLA: That man loves a relationship. Um okay, here's my other one. So this is from like old Star Trek. So I don't know if you know this character, but his name is Data

SARAH: I know a smidge about Data, not a lot.

KAYLA: Okay, so he's from um Star Trek: Next Generation and Data is a robot, but he like is… he looks like a human because you know, it's a human playing him.

SARAH: Yep classic

KAYLA: Because basically just like a robot that lives on board whatever and if I remember right there are a lot of like plot lines where he's kind of like dealing with like him being a robot, but like you know, he wants to be a human or like has these feelings whatever I can't even remember if he had ever has anything like romantic happen or if that's ever dealt with probably at Star Trek. They dealt with a lot of shit quite progressive.

SARAH: They sure did 

KAYLA: But yeah in my head I was like, you know, who's definitely not ace or who we can't say is ace is Data

SARAH: Can robots even have sexualities?

KAYLA: Well, that just gets into a whole thing

SARAH: Well, because a lot of people read like R2-D2 and C-3PO from Star Wars is gay somehow.

KAYLA: Well, do you think that R2-D2 and C-3PO have like emotions 

SARAH: Yeah, I guess. So, I guess then they then they can have sexualities.

KAYLA: Yeah, I think like if you but this is getting to a whole thing 

SARAH: This is getting really meta.

KAYLA: So yeah, this is getting like meta and weird and stuff but with like AI and like technology and robots and stuff. It's like yeah if we could get robots like sentient enough, I think they could have a sexuality and have like

SARAH: Would they be attracted to other robots or would they also potentially be attracted to people? I guess it depends how human they are. 

KAYLA: That's the thing. I think is interesting about like a concept of a show like Star Trek or like sci-fi is like what's going to happen if humans, you know find other life And then is it going to be…  I feel like we've talked about this before. But like is it going to be another sexuality if you're attracted to someone of a different species 

SARAH: Like Peter and Gamora, Guardians of the Galaxy, Peter and Gamora, Gamora is not a human. Vision and Wanda

KAYLA: Yeah, that's a weird one

SARAH: Vision is not… he was Jarvis

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And now he is sentient

KAYLA: Right

SARAH: Wild 

KAYLA: That's a weird one. 

SARAH: Now he is dead, right?

KAYLA: Yeah, he's…

SARAH: But they're going to have a TV show 

KAYLA: Yeah, but he's super dead

SARAH: But he's dead so. Maybe not because he has a TV show but

KAYLA: Well, but he died like before the dust, so I don't see how they're bringing him back 

SARAH: The… he has a TV show, I don't know 

KAYLA: All right

SARAH: I don't know what you want me to tell you 

KAYLA: Whatever

SARAH: But yeah, I mean then we're just asking a lot of questions about sentience and it's getting really meta, here's the deal folks, everything about the human race and society is fucking made up. None of it is real. Nothing matters…

[00:30:00]

KAYLA: Oh 

SARAH: Well, things matter because we say they matter but like sexuality, what is it? Who is it? Who is she? 

KAYLA: Who is she?

SARAH: Who is she? And why do we care we care because it helps us identify ourselves, but also like if we didn't care things might be easier for a lot of groups of people, just saying  

KAYLA: Fair

SARAH: So, it's all messed up. You know what the very last character I came up with that is definitely ace?

KAYLA: No 

SARAH: It's me in any universe

KAYLA: What… you think in every universe?

SARAH: Well, okay, then I was thinking about this. I was like imagine a universe in which you had a different sexuality, I feel like this is much harder people who are ace because you know how it's like how straight people can understand gay people because it's just like them but with the same gender, but they have trouble understanding ace people

KAYLA:  Yeah

SARAH: Like I feel like that's very similar where it's like I can't imagine myself having a different sexuality because I just don't understand what that's like

KAYLA: Yeah. This is something our good friend Perry, piano fiano, I forget which episode it was after but he was texting me of… It was… God what episode was it? It was something like you didn't understand something about like straight or allo people and I was trying to describe it and he was saying…

SARAH: And I just couldn't understand it?

KAYLA: Yeah. But I was like trying to describe it to you and he was like I think that's like that was kind of like old school what we did 

SARAH: Mm-hmm

KAYLA: Like that was like the premise of the show but he was like, oh I think it's really good to show like Sarah not understanding things because we focus a lot on like trying to teach or like talk about what straight people don't understand not saying like, you know ace people like need to understand how allo people feel but more just coming from like everyone should understand everyone as much as possible 

SARAH: Mm-hmm 

KAYLA: But I thought it was a good point 

SARAH: Yeah, and also just like there are things that I don't understand about straight people/allo people but like I still accept that they exist and that the way they exist is valid. And so even if you don't understand something, you know, just if they're not hurting anyone just respect it, you know

KAYLA: Yeah, you know this makes me think of… I… It was I think after we did the episode and maybe this is the episode that Perry texted me after it was episode where we talked about like why young people are having less sex and I think we asked on Twitter like why do you think people are having less sex? But I just remember a couple people responded more like well it's because sex is stupid and people are finally realizing that it was a waste of time and I was like…

SARAH: It's not that… just sounds like people who are ace who just don't understand which is very valid and I get that 

KAYLA: Well, yeah

SARAH: Like I understand that understanding.

KAYLA: No, I like I totally get that it was just like and I get why ace people would like be frustrated and that would be their reaction because like all their life like sex has been like shoved down their throat like but I was like that's no good. 

SARAH: Did you as a straight person feel momentarily oppressed?

KAYLA: I mean, no I was just like… I like totally understand why you feel like that, I think we would all just be happier if we like all were okay with what everybody was doing. 

SARAH: It sounded like you as a straight person felt momentarily oppressed. 

KAYLA: I don't think that's what it was. Don't put me that on me

SARAH: Okay, but actually can you imagine yourself in an alternate universe with a different sexuality?

KAYLA: I mean I think if we're going to buy into like the multiverse and like infinite parallel universes like you definitely are every sexuality somewhere

SARAH: I can't wrap my brain around it. I can wrap my brain around infinite universes. I can't wrap my brain around me being anything than ace 

KAYLA: That's really saying something. Could you…

SARAH: I just…

KAYLA: Could you imagine yourself not aro?

SARAH: No, although I feel like it would be easier to imagine myself not aro than it would be to imagine myself not ace, which tracks with my experience because I knew I was ace and it took me a little bit more time to figure out that I was aro.  

KAYLA: Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think it's like I could imagine myself being gay or bi but I don't think I could imagine myself being ace just because it is so different

SARAH: Yeah, I think there's just like a hurdle there that it's tough to get over regardless of which side of it you're on 

KAYLA: I mean, I would say it might be even harder for you though, like as someone who like never dated or anything like, you know….

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: Some ace people like do date and have sex but for you someone that never has like it's easier for me to imagine it because it's like oh, it's just like when I was single except like yeah, obviously different but for you… 

SARAH: You know what it's like to be single where I just don't know what it's like to be single.

KAYLA: Yeah, you have like nothing

SARAH:  Yep. I got nothing 

KAYLA: Yep 

SARAH: That's the tea. Do you have any other last-minute character additions?

KAYLA: What are some… what are some things I watch?

SARAH: I don't know what you watch 

KAYLA: Me either. I've been watching so much reality TV.

SARAH: I've been watching The Bachelorette every single week. It's a wild fucking ride. It's the strangest… it's the most unlikely of combinations of people watching The Bachelorette. But it's wild and then every episode they're like if you want to audition and I'm like, “this is my time to shine” Make an ace bitch.

KAYLA: I would like okay. I would like to see an ace Bachelorette though. Or a Bachelor

SARAH: Do you want to know some tea?

KAYLA: Yes

SARAH: Bachelor In Paradise they were showing promos and it looks like some gayness happens

KAYLA: I feel like I heard that somewhere

SARAH: Where it's like two of the girls are like I love you

KAYLA: Paradise is different though because it's like everyone is allowed to date everyone.

SARAH: Yeah, everyone is allowed to date everyone and there's like equal like the gender split is equal and it's all people who have been on The Bachelor before. 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And they're just on an island  

KAYLA: Yeah. I haven't been watching it but I've been getting weekly updates from my co-worker and watching it through Twitter and shit is wild

SARAH: It is wild. It's such a good entertaining television and I hate that I'm saying that but it's true.

KAYLA: It really is though. 

SARAH: Anyway other than me being the ace bachelorette any thoughts? During the fantasy suites week, I would just be like, “okay cool. Bye.”

KAYLA: I mean didn't Hannah do that with one of the guys though? Where she ended up telling him like “we’re not having sex”

SARAH: Well, yeah, but he was so Tyler C is such a precious boy. His tweets are iconic. He like he reacted to it very very well. 

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: And it made her like him even more and it was just very precious 

KAYLA: I can’t even remember what else I watched 

SARAH: I'm going to take it you don't have any other things to add 

KAYLA: No 

SARAH: All right, what's our poll this week? I have a poll idea

KAYLA: Yeah

SARAH: Is it rude that all of my friends have refused to watch Stick It with me for years to the point where I had to just sadly watch it by myself and their only reason for not watching it with me is because I love it so much. Yes, I guess.

KAYLA: I would like to be excluded from this since I don't live there anymore. 

SARAH: But you wouldn't watch it with me… 

KAYLA: You don't know maybe if you… if I lived there and you would ask me today maybe I would have…

SARAH: But historically that's not your response

KAYLA: I know, honestly though if I had been not at work and you were like, let's watch it at the same time I would have watched it 

SARAH: Listen, all the people in my life, They won't watch it with me and the only reason they won't watch it with me is because I love it so much and they think I'm going to be annoying while I'm watching it. But listen, you're telling me that you…  that you won't… I was not annoying at all when I was watching it by myself 

KAYLA: Well that's because you're by yourself. Listen, I also have watched it with you. 

SARAH: I know but it was so long ago 

KAYLA: Yeah, but I'm just saying of all the people in your life I am the one that who actually has watched it with you. The other one you can’t even remember

SARAH: I’m just saying I asked for them to watch it with me for my 21st birthday…

KAYLA: You weren't even there for your 21st birthday 

SARAH: It’s the only thing I wanted for my birthday and they said no…

KAYLA: And then you weren't even in town so it didn't matter. 

SARAH: Yeah, but like we could have still watched it for my birthday Even if it was not on my birthday

KAYLA: I don't know what to tell you 

SARAH: I'm just salty. The only reason they won't watch it with me is because I love it so much And I think that's a shitty reason that's all 

KAYLA: Well, that's not going to be the poll 

SARAH: Why not? 

KAYLA: Well because it’s stupid 

SARAH: You're stupid. 

KAYLA: I… yes, that's besides the point. Um, I think the poll should be is Will Byers ace because I think that's an interesting one. 

SARAH: Yes. Yes or yes

KAYLA: No we’re going to do that 

SARAH: It's sad. Okay, yeah, I think that's a good poll.

KAYLA: Hold on I got to write it down or I'll forget 

SARAH: Oh my god 

KAYLA: What do you want me to not remember what do you want? What would you rather here?

SARAH: All right, let's jump into beef and juice. I have this week unusual I have a beef but I have no juice so I'll have to come up with my juice on the spot. My beef is getting my car towed. I don't want to talk about it. 

KAYLA: I haven't even heard this story and it still cracks me up.

SARAH: See I said I don't want to talk about it but you know I am. I got my car towed because I was parking at my sister's apartment building and…

KAYLA: That's where you got towed?

SARAH: Uh-huh 

KAYLA: Wow 

SARAH: You can't park there at all during business hours because they don't want people who work at the hospital to be parking…. Parking lot

KAYLA: Which is very fair because hospital parking is wild.

[00:40:29]

SARAH: Yeah. And the hospital is like right there. And… But you can park there on the weekends. But recently they changed the rules that you have to now park in a specific section of the parking lot but there are no signs. Like there are no signs that even say like who tows you like the only reason I knew who had towed me was because my sister once got my car towed for me like it was my car, but she got it towed 

KAYLA: I remember this  

SARAH: So that's the only reason I knew where my car towed to was because this has happened before. And last time it happened it was like a four-hour experience my sister talked on the phone with so many different people because this towing company has like five or six different names

KAYLA: Good 

SARAH: Very legit, very legit and…. So basically, Because the signage is poor. I parked in the wrong section of the empty parking lot for less than two hours and got towed. We couldn't deal with it the day of because we were going to a wedding so I had to deal with it the next day I called them in the morning to be like, hey, I want to make sure that you have my car because last time my sister… It was a pain in the ass for her to get it. She'd call a billion different people and they were like, yes, we have your car. at our Ann Arbor location. So, I was like cool. So I go to the Ann Arbor location my friend Miranda drives me because you know, I don't have my car and It's closed. Even though it says that it's open 24 hours 

KAYLA: Good 

SARAH: And so I call them and I say hey, what the fuck you're closed. Also, there's this other kid who was there too

KAYLA: Oh my God

SARAH: Whose car also got towed and I was like… what the fuck and he was like It looks like we're supposed to have someone there between 12 and 8 today and I was like cool. It's 12:10 

KAYLA: Oh my God 

SARAH: And he was like well give it like 15 minutes and if they don't show up then call me again. And so I was like motherfucker. Okay, so I did and I sat there and I waited for 15 minutes and then as soon as it hit 15 minutes, I called him again and I was like bitch, there's no there's no one here and he was like, all right, he was like there's someone in the area who is currently towing a car he'll be there soon, whatever. And then it was like 20 or 25 more minutes and they still hadn't showed up. So I called the guy again and I was like bitch where the fuck Is this person and he's like they have the car they're coming. They're going to be there soon. And I was about to ask like What's the ETA like how soon are they going to be here and he just fucking hangs up on me. 

KAYLA: Oh my god 

SARAH: So finally this guy comes he has towed the car so the guy who drove the tow truck goes in unlocks it and is like it’s 347 dollars and it's cash only and I was like, good thing I was prepared for this and he also the fact that like the tow truck driver is like capable of like doing the desk work. That seems a little sketchy. Also, this place has five or six different names and…

KAYLA: Yeah, it seems like they stole your car 

SARAH: They did. It's like… this is like… I… like… I'm not really into I'm towing companies, but this was like… this is especially sketchy. He's like, all right…

KAYLA: They would at least have like nice customer service if they're….

SARAH: Yeah

KAYLA: You already don't have to deal with this shit 

SARAH: Yeah, well like last time it happened my sister called the woman they were like we don't have your car and then they turned Out to have her car. She just didn't look hard enough. 

KAYLA: God 

SARAH: Um and he like puts the money in like a bag in a drawer like a regular drawer not like a lockbox like a drawer.

KAYLA: Okay legit Sarah I don't think this was a towing company. I do think that they had your car stolen.

SARAH: They have about 45 different names 

KAYLA: This is a fraud 

SARAH: I know Kayla and that's what made me even madder. And so I had I had waited for about an hour But at this point just for them to fucking show up. Even though they're supposed to be open. So I pay the guy three hundred and forty seven dollars cash straight into the pocket of the Ann Arbor Mafia and the other kid pays 347 dollars cash straight into the pocket of the Ann Arbor Mafia and me and this kid never even really acknowledged each other because we were just both so mad and like we both knew what the other one was there for and we were both just like sitting there and then like… he like whatever he lets us to our cars and then I just left but I was so mad because that's… 347 dollars is a lot of dollars.

KAYLA: That’s a lot of money.

SARAH: That's a lot… like that's so much money. That's like a paycheck for me because I don't make that much money. 

KAYLA: That sucks 

SARAH: And So, yeah I got towed because I parked in the wrong section of an empty parking lot for less than two hours and I had to pay 347 dollars and wait more than an hour to get my car back.

KAYLA: That’s so stupid 

SARAH: I was so upset. I ate my feelings but when I found out I got towed I ate my feelings and Funyuns and then when I got it back I ate my feelings in Panera Mac and cheese.

KAYLA: I love that

SARAH:  My juice is I don't know, Stick It 

KAYLA: Okay 

SARAH: What's your beef and juice?

KAYLA: My beef is a lovely message on Tumblr that we got. It was so and I like didn't even have that strong of a reaction to it which for me is like a big deal. I was just kind of like Jesus Christ but it is just like ridiculous and stupid so yeah, that is my beef I guess. Let's see my juice I have a few you're welcome, My juice is I'm on day two of not puking 

SARAH: Yay 

KAYLA: I've been very not well and puking every morning for the past like week and a half but for yesterday today, I did not. A pretty big deal seems sad, but honestly a very big deal

SARAH: You did it.

KAYLA: I did do it. Uh other juice The Prom, saw it. 

SARAH: Oh, so good 

KAYLA: On Sunday. Very good 

SARAH: Very good musical.

KAYLA: Uh other juice which will probably be a juice again in a couple weeks, but so my mom is coming next week which first of all juice but second of all, we're going to see a drag show. That's the….

SARAH: Oh my god. Oh my god

KAYLA: And I’m so excited

SARAH: That's iconic 

KAYLA: Apparently, they've been doing the show for like literal years. Um, and they just like do it Like not like every weekend or anything, but like so we're going to see it and I am fucking jazzed. 

SARAH: That's iconic. 

KAYLA: Yeah. So those are my things 

SARAH: Oh, dicks I just realized I didn't have the patrons pulled up. Oh no. Oh no Oh, no. All right. We have social media @soundsfakepod everywhere, including Tumblr

KAYLA: Bitch

SARAH: I'm being salty. Sorry. The person on Tumblr was just like why do you advertise your Tumblr if you don't even use it that often and it's like oh

KAYLA: I'm busy having an anxiety attack every day. Sarah answered it very funnily and pettily and I was a big fan, but anyway 

SARAH: For me that was like super petty because usually…

KAYLA: For you that was like big

SARAH: I know right? It was a big step for me. but also I was just like hey, um, we're not doing well, please be patient anyway. That sounds like a pod. We also have a Patreon if you want to gift us some of your money. Our $2 patrons are: Keith McBlane, Roxanne, AliceIsInSpace, anonymous, Nathan Dennison, Mariah Walzer, and Jonathan and changelingmx. How are we going to pronounce it this week?

KAYLA: Changeling 

SARAH: Cahangeling. Our $5 patrons are: Jennifer Smart, Asritha Vinnakota, Austin Le, Drew Finney, Perry Fiero, Aunt Jeannie, Dee, Meagan Rowell, and Quinn Pollock. Our $10 patrons are: Kevin and Tessa, @dirtyunclekevin and @tessa_m_k, Sara Jones, @eternalloli, and Arcness who would like to promote Trevor Project also Benjamin Ybarra who would like to promote Tabletop Games, and Anonymous who would like to promote Summer Break. So there’s that. Our $15 patrons are Nathaniel White, NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, and my mom who would like to promote the organization free mom hugs. Thanks for listening. Tell us who you think is ace. We want to know. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.

KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows.