Hey what's up hello! This week Kayla and Sarah celebrate the 100th episode of Sounds Fake But Okay! They listen and react to their very first episode and go through some old polls. And they announce the release of their MERCH!
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/100th-episode-extravaganza
Donate: patreon.com/soundsfakepod
Follow: @soundsfakepod
Join: https://discord.gg/W7VBHMt
Buy our book: www.soundsfakepod.com/book
Hey what's up hello! This week Kayla and Sarah celebrate the 100th episode of Sounds Fake But Okay! They listen and react to their very first episode and go through some old polls. And they announce the release of their MERCH!
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/100th-episode-extravaganza
Donate: patreon.com/soundsfakepod
Follow: @soundsfakepod
Join: https://discord.gg/W7VBHMt
Buy our book: www.soundsfakepod.com/book
[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey what's up hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where in aro-ace, girl. I'm Sarah, that's me.
KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl, that's me, Kayla.
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode... 100 episodes?
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay.
[Intro Music]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod!
KAYLA: M’hundred
SARAH: Okay. For those of you who don't know, which I mean based off of…
KAYLA: You really must because you had to have read it.
SARAH: Yeah, or heard it as Kayla just said it. But this is our 100th episode of the podcast. We've been doing this for more than two years, which is just proof that we do not always do one every week, but you know what? Sometimes we need a week off.
KAYLA: We did it! Achievement unlocked.
SARAH: Achievement unlocked. I never thought that we would end up at 100 episodes. Did you?
KAYLA: Not when we started. I don't think… I thought we were going to go anywhere.
SARAH: Yeah, when we started, we were just like, cool.
KAYLA: Fun.
SARAH: Fun times. And so, we were thinking about what we might want to do as kind of our little celebration for 100th episode. So, we're going to do some cool stuff. Kayla, would you like to tell our lovely listeners what the cool stuff is?
KAYLA: Well, okay, should we start with… okay. What should we do? Okay, there's a lot of things.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Should we make some announcements and then do cool stuff?
SARAH: Yeah, let's make some announcements.
KAYLA: Okay, well my first announcement is that currently we are recording this on Wednesday before the Sunday this goes out. And we currently have 933 Twitter followers. I don't know what will happen by Sunday. What I do know is ADHDug on Twitter has been making a mighty crusade to get us to 1000 followers by 100 episodes.
SARAH: And he caught up.
KAYLA: And he caught up. What was it? Two weeks ago, he was in like the 50s. And we were like, there's no way that he's going to do that. Like there's…. he was like, I'm going to catch up. And we were like, there's no way. He tweeted at some point how many episodes he did in how many days. It was like 16 days, I think, that he did our entire discography.
SARAH: It's wild, truly.
KAYLA: It was 99 episodes in 16 days. So…
SARAH: Like I hear enough of my own voice when I'm just like talking to myself in my daily life. Because like, who doesn't talk to themselves?
KAYLA: Yeah, I just started editing my podcast for work. That's happening soon.
SARAH: How’s editing world going for you.
KAYLA: Well, I've done it before. I did it last summer.
SARAH: You did it last summer, yeah.
KAYLA: But there were some really hard edits. I think what's different is on this podcast, we typically don't edit anything out, ever.
SARAH: We occasionally have a difficult edit. But not…
KAYLA: But not typically.
SARAH: Yeah, not typically.
KAYLA: But I had… I had a rough one. And plus, I had to listen to my own voice, which I haven't done in a while, so that was unfortunate. And my accent really pops out in recordings, so.
SARAH: I'm just immune to my own voice by now. I'm just like, oh, that's what I sound like.
KAYLA: See, I got immune to it last summer, and then I didn't. And it was upsetting. Anyway, so I don't know if we will get to a thousand followers by Sunday, but either way, ADHDoug, thank you for your service.
SARAH: ADHDoug and all of our lovely Twitter followers, thank you for joining us on this lovely little journey. It's been wonderful, and we hope it will continue for a long, long time.
KAYLA: Yes, and I'll get into more about our Twitter later, but the fact that we have 933 followers right now is truly insane, and Sarah and I used to watch the Twitter, and then every time we got a follow, we would text each other and be like, do you know this person? Do you know this person? And then when it was a total stranger, we would be shook that someone we didn't know in our real lives.
SARAH: Yeah, we were like, oh my god, a stranger followed us on Twitter.
KAYLA: Yeah, because it started out, it was just our real-life friends that were listening, and now we have people coming in daily, which is insane.
SARAH: Yeah. And a lot of our real-life friends don't listen anymore, which you know what? That's their prerogative.
KAYLA: know.
SARAH: I don't blame them.
KAYLA: I don't either, especially since some of them still give us their money even though they don't listen.
SARAH: Oh man.
KAYLA: Anyway, speaking of money, Sarah.
SARAH: Money, yeah.
KAYLA: What's our next announcement?
SARAH: Oh, we've got some money moves happening.
KAYLA: Oh, okay. Alright, this is a good way to start.
SARAH: Merch store. By the time you're hearing this, we'll be up and running.
KAYLA: By the time, actually, I think before, well, it should be up before you're hearing this.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: Technically, it's up right now.
SARAH: Yeah, but no one knows the link.
KAYLA: It's just not ready. I'll tell y'all live from the future what I'm thinking about doing in your past, is I think once I get everything done, hopefully tonight, Wednesday night, maybe I'll just tweet and be like, somewhere in the internet, there's something waiting for you, and I'll see if anyone finds it.
SARAH: That would be incredible.
KAYLA: I think I will do that.
SARAH: Alright, it sounds good.
KAYLA: I'm sure someone will find it.
SARAH: Probably.
KAYLA: But I just feel like, what a fun time.
SARAH: What a little scavenger hunt.
KAYLA: What a fun scavenger hunt. So anyway, you from the past, I guess, already knew this happened. Wow, this is fun, because they already saw it.
SARAH: Me from the past, or listeners from the past?
KAYLA: Listeners from the future listening right now in their ears already saw this happen.
SARAH: That's true.
KAYLA: But I, in my mind right now, am just conceptualizing it.
SARAH: It's like the TV show Dark.
KAYLA: This is insane. This is incredible. What a celebration of 100 episodes.
SARAH: Iconic.
KAYLA: But anyway, what kind of merch do we have up, Sarah?
SARAH: We got a ton of merch. We got probably too much merch, but we got excited
KAYLA: Yeah, probably, but it's fine.
SARAH: We got some merch with the logos. We don't have all of the colors in the logo because it's hard to put colors on other colors.
KAYLA: But we have stickers that are... We have the purple regular version of our logo. We have the green ACE version of our logo. We have the vintage. If y'all were around before, we did a brand switch.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: We have a sticker of that.
SARAH: We got big juice merch. We got don't should merch. Even though that's a brand-new joke, we are really riding that wave.
KAYLA: Yeah. And not that meant... well, no. In the end, like 50 people voted in that poll, but at first, none of y'all were getting in on that poll. And I was like, this is just going to be me wearing this shirt.
SARAH: As I was making it on Photoshop, I was like, okay, I want to see how many people actually said yes to this. And it was like 87% of people. And I was like, okay, cool.
KAYLA: Yeah. We also have two very other exciting pieces of merch.
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: One is by Holly Ellerelly? When this episode goes live, I'm going to be tweeting and tagging all their stuff. But she made some amazing art of Herb and Georgie in little space suits, floating around in space.
SARAH: It’s so cute
KAYLA: There’s mugs, there's posters, there's shirts, there's sweatshirts.
SARAH: It’s so cute
KAYLA: It's very cute. And then we also have a Take Care of Your Cows merch by Bridget Maroney. And it's a little purple and green Herb and Georgie in a very nice font that Sarah picked out because she's very picky about fonts.
SARAH: Yeah, I was being weird about fonts. So, thank you, Bridget, for your patience and kindness when I was being like, well, but this font is slightly too curvy.
KAYLA: Yes. So yeah, they're very cute little animated cows and it says, Take Good Care of Your Cows. And that we also have mugs and stickers and t-shirts and sweatshirts and posters.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: And it's very exciting.
SARAH: It is very exciting.
KAYLA: So yeah, that's the merch we have for now. Hopefully, we're very thankful to our listeners who reached out and were like, we heard you wanted merch. Here is my art. So, we're extremely thankful to Holly and Bridget.
SARAH: There may be a couple more upcoming.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: As art from listeners, but they're just not quite ready yet. So, we'll let you know if slash when they do end up in the store.
KAYLA: Yeah, hopefully we'll be able to keep updating stuff as we get new ideas and new art. And if you guys have any things of merch that you really want to see, let us know. We'll see what we can do.
SARAH: Yep. Nice.
KAYLA: And then once Sarah and I get our own merch, we'll put on a fashion show.
SARAH: Once we buy the merch ourselves.
KAYLA: Well, yes. How odd.
SARAH: Amazing. Got to make money somehow.
KAYLA: It’s fair
SARAH: Okay. So, is that all of our housekeeping?
KAYLA: I mean, I wouldn't call that housekeeping.
SARAH: Oh, it's like beautiful housekeeping. Like a stay-at-home spouse who loves cleaning the house.
KAYLA: Wow, that is good, yes.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: What a dream that would be.
SARAH: I would hate that.
KAYLA: I would love that.
SARAH: I would hate it. Okay. All right, so what are we doing as part of our During the Pod celebration this week?
KAYLA: Yes, so two major things. We are going to be listening and reacting to our very first episode.
SARAH: We sure are.
KAYLA: Which should be horrible. Sarah, did you listen to the entire thing?
SARAH: I listened to the entire thing yesterday.
KAYLA: Okay, I have not listened to it. I've listened to like probably the very beginning of it recently, but since we recorded it and put it up, I don't think I've listened to it at all.
[00:10:00]
SARAH: Yeah, I... Because I wanted to go through and see what bits of episodes we wanted to use, and then as I listened to the first one, I was like, let's just listen, re-listen to the whole first one straight through. It's only like 13 minutes or something.
KAYLA: Yeah, it was very short
SARAH: It's shorter than the rest. So, we're just going to go through and give some reactions.
KAYLA: Yeah, and then...
SARAH: And see how much we’ve grown. I don't know.
KAYLA: Just from listening to two seconds of it, I already was like, what was happening here? Because we like both sound weirdly sick, even though it was in the middle of the summer. I don't know what was happening with that.
SARAH: Yeah, me neither
KAYLA: Yeah, and then our other fun activity is we're going to go through some old Twitter polls because usually we don't like revisit the polls that much. At least like we'll tweet about it and stuff and we'll do stuff, but...
SARAH: Not during the podcast, just because of our schedule for recording. Like the polls aren't always closed by the time we record the next week's episode, so.
KAYLA: Yeah, so we're going to revisit some old polls. Some of them I don't understand the context of, which is fun.
SARAH: Cool. Alright, do we want to dive straight into episode one, dick pics?
KAYLA: I mean, no, but we must.
SARAH: We must.
KAYLA: Mustn't we.
SARAH: Do it for the content.
KAYLA: Ugh, gross.
SARAH: Alright, hit me with it.
KAYLA: Alright, here it comes.
[audio playback of Ep 1: Dick Pics]
SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl, I'm Sarah, that's me
KAYLA: And me, Kayla, a straight girl
SARAH: talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, people like dick pics.
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay.
[present recording]
SARAH: Okay. Why do we sound sickly? We sound sick somehow. I literally…
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: I made some notes and I literally wrote why my voice sounds like that.
KAYLA: Yeah, we sound like our noses are plugged.
SARAH: Yeah, we do. Also, we're talking so slowly.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Well, because we wrote that intro before recording the first episode because we could not figure out how to start it.
KAYLA: Oh yeah, we were having a hard time.
SARAH: Somehow managed to keep the same intro the entire time. So, but now when we say the intro, we have it memorized. I don't read it off of anything.
KAYLA: I honestly don't know what… I couldn't tell you what our full intro is just off the top of my head, I don't think.
SARAH: You just know your part?
KAYLA: Because it just flows from me. And then if I go back and I'm like, what did I just say? No idea.
SARAH: Yeah, last week you were like, did I say the right thing? And you did. You just lost your mind for a second.
KAYLA: It's like when you start driving home and then all of a sudden, you're home and you're like, how'd I get here?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That's how I feel.
SARAH: I feel that. Also, here's a weird fun fact. When I say the… “and anything else we just don't understand” line, the first time I said it, it sounded kind of weird to me. And then I was trying, like, my intonation just sounded weird. And so, every time I tried to make the intonation sound less weird, but I never achieved that. And so, a hundred episodes in, I'm still convinced I have a weird intonation when I say that, but I don't know how to fix it.
KAYLA: What do you, wait, what do you think is weird about it?
SARAH: It's just the way, the way I say it is not how I would normally say it in a conversation.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: Like, the emphasis is weird. But, like, I've done it so many times that I don't know how to not put that weird emphasis on it anymore.
KAYLA: Well, I've never noticed it.
SARAH: I have. Every episode.
KAYLA: Also notable is that I'm, like, a straight girl.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But it sounds so weird to me now because it's like you're missing half a syllable. And the whole cadence of the intro was thrown off. Because there's a syllable missing.
SARAH: Well, there are two syllables missing.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Math.
KAYLA: No. No.
SARAH: Oh.
KAYLA: Just one. No, there are two.
SARAH: Demi straight. Demi is two syllables.
KAYLA: Yeah, Demi is two syllables.
SARAH: Dear God.
KAYLA: Huh, isn't it? Huh.
SARAH: Uh, yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah, it sounds, like, wrong to me.
SARAH: Yeah, it just, it definitely threw me off.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's weird. I don't like it.
SARAH: Alright.
KAYLA: Shall we continue?
SARAH: Yeah, just, let's listen to the theme song and then stop. Because I have some words.
KAYLA: Okay.
[adudio playback of Intro Music from Ep 1: Dick Pics]
[present recording]
KAYLA: What is this? What
SARAH: It's long.
KAYLA: That's not what it sounds like anymore, right?
SARAH: No. By episode two we had already changed it.
KAYLA: Okay, so it's shorter, right?
SARAH: Yeah, it's much shorter now.
KAYLA: Does it echo so much?
SARAH: It doesn't echo quite as much.
KAYLA: Okay, thank God. I was like, this can't be what it really sounds like, I’ve been hyping up something that's not good.
SARAH: Because like, it's the same song, but it's like, a different version of it that we use now.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: And for those of you who don't know, we came up with that just because when we were recording the first episode, we were like, we need a song. And I was just fucking around on GarageBand.
KAYLA: And Sarah made us that song.
SARAH: And I made that song.
KAYLA: And I love it very much.
SARAH: And now Kayla loves it and I don't.
KAYLA: The thing is though, I'm very actually sad and might have to go look up the real version of our theme song right now because I have it on YouTube. And... No, it started playing an ad, how awkward? Okay, I'm going to look it up and listen to it because I don't ever listen to our theme song because I don't edit the podcast. And so, for me, it's always a fun treat when I get to listen to it, which is why I like it so much. But now that I had just had to listen to the one that wasn't it, now I need to go listen to the real one because I'm sad that I didn't get to listen to it.
SARAH: It's almost as if you found yourself a CD player, you would be able to listen to it more often.
KAYLA: Uh Sarah! Was that the bonus track that you put on my CD?
SARAH: Yes!
KAYLA: You shouldn't have told me. You should have left me to be sad and never know.
SARAH: Well, I wanted you to know you just spent so long without a CD player.
KAYLA: Aww, Sarah! That's so cute!
SARAH: And it's not on Spotify, so it's just on the CD.
KAYLA: It is technically on Spotify.
SARAH: Well, it's not available for purchase or streaming on its own anyway.
KAYLA: Okay, anyway, I'm going to play it, because now I do want to hear how different it is.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: I just want to know how we changed it, because now I can't remember.
[Intro Music]
KAYLA: See, this I like very much. That was very good.
SARAH: Yeah. It's a little less chaotic.
KAYLA: I feel like now that I hear it and I hear the less echoes, I feel like I remember our conversation of like, we got to tone that down.
SARAH: There are too many echoes.
KAYLA: There's too many.
SARAH: Oh, incredible.
KAYLA: Wow, I did not remember that we changed it. That's fun.
SARAH: Yeah, I didn't either. But we, when I listened to it too, we didn't change it.
KAYLA: I remember us shortening it. I remember us shortening it because your sister was like, it's too long.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And we were like, yes.
SARAH: You're right. This is a 13-minute episode and like a minute and a half is the theme song.
KAYLA: Sorry that we're just so great at making sick tracks.
SARAH: I am an expert at hitting random buttons on GarageBand.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: That basically is what this podcast is.
KAYLA: Yeah, true.
SARAH: Cool.
KAYLA: Did you know while I was in GarageBand editing my own podcast today, I found that you can do voice effects and you could turn us into robots? Or make us sound like we're on the phone?
SARAH: That is fun.
KAYLA: Can you do that right now?
SARAH: While we're recording?
KAYLA: No, like when you edit this part the of podcast?
SARAH: We'll see.
KAYLA: Because it's fun. You can make us sound like a robot or on the phone or like really scratchy.
SARAH: Let's just keep listening.
KAYLA: Okay.
[audio Playback]
KAYLA: So formal.
SARAH: Good call
KAYLA: Too formal.
SARAH: As what? As what Kayla?
KAYLA: We don’t clarify. Nothing, no clarification anywhere
SARAH: There it is
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: Why am I talking in such a stilted manner?
KAYLA: We were nervous.
SARAH: Yeah. That's true. That is kind of how I talk when I'm talking in front of people and I'm nervous.
KAYLA: I mean, I'm sure we were very uncomfortable.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. But you can definitely hear those moments where it's like us just talking to each other.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because like obviously, we already, we've been friends for two years by this point. We had a rapport. It's just we had to translate it to this.
KAYLA: Yeah, you can clearly hear the parts that are way more scripted and uncomfortable. And they're very bad.
SARAH: Classic.
KAYLA: Yes, I don't like this. Who was I dating at that point?
SARAH: Patrick
KAYLA: That's the fun thing about this podcast.
SARAH: You can track Kayla's dating life.
KAYLA: Is you can track my dating life completely. I would actually be very interested to hear from people, especially like Doug, who just listened to every episode in 16 days.
SARAH: All of it
KAYLA: He really just fast-tracked. I mean first of all, my love life aside, he fast-tracked through our entire, like two years of our life.
SARAH: He did, yeah.
KAYLA: That's so weird to think about. He just learned two years of someone's life in 16 days.
[00:20:00]
SARAH: Yep. I mean not like every detail, but like, you know.
KAYLA: A lot of significant stuff though.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And like a lot of people have done that where they listen from the beginning.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: So, I'd be very interested to hear actually how that like, if that's a weird experience for people.
SARAH: Yeah. Now I'm kind of wondering. But like it wouldn't be the same me listening back to my own podcast because I also experienced that. Like it would have to be someone else.
KAYLA: But I definitely have had that with other podcasts where I've like gone back to the beginning or like a long ways. And like people who I know have kids now, like all of a sudden the podcast will be like, my wife is pregnant. I'm going on paternity leave. And I'm like, but I know your kid right now is like two years old.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So, it's like wild.
SARAH: Truly.
KAYLA: Yeah. I guess if any of you have had an experience like that, let me know because that's so weird.
SARAH: We're obsessed with ourselves. We need to know what you think.
KAYLA: Well, yes. Anyway. Wow. That's why that was two boyfriends ago. How fun. Okay. Bye.
[audio Playback]
KAYLA: A classic disclaimer.
SARAH: TBT to the disclaimers.
KAYLA: We've kind of given up on those, huh?
SARAH: Oh, yeah. We just don't care anymore
KAYLA: That's why we get sad emails.
SARAH: Here's my thing with the disclaimers though. I feel like we don't give as many because we have a better feel for who our audience is and our audience knows us better.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But also, just like… a lot… like I would say that we're decently woke humans. And so, a lot of times when we say stuff that might require a disclaimer is one of the times where we're like we fuck something up and like we don't say it right. And so, we don't realize that there needs to be a disclaimer, you know? So moderately woke but not fully woke. Sometimes you just got to disclaim.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Cool
[Audio Playback]
KAYLA: Fleeting
SARAH: Nothing has changed.
KAYLA: No, I remember this moment still vividly in my life. I know which friend this was.
SARAH: I think I have a guess as to who it was.
KAYLA: We are no longer friends. Actually.
SARAH: Incredible.
KAYLA: Not because of the dick pic, but...
SARAH: Pretty woke phrasing
KAYLA: Wow. 2017 Sarah, stay woke.
[audio playback]
KAYLA: Okay, that makes no sense.
SARAH: I stand by that. We really do start out pretty graphic, even in episode one.
KAYLA: Yeah. What was the episode we just recently did that everyone was saying was graphic? Oh, it was how to not be ace-aphobic?
SARAH: Was it?
KAYLA: Yeah, oh, because we were talking about ripping skin off of your body and doing lobotomies.
SARAH: Yeah, but that's graphic in a different way.
KAYLA: I know. I just like the through line, you know?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Forever graphic.
SARAH: Even though I'm aro-ace, I will trash talk penises.
KAYLA: Oh, penises are very gross.
SARAH: Well, maybe because I'm aro-ace, I want to trash talk penises.
KAYLA: No, penises are very weird. And this is something I still deal with on a daily basis. Sometimes I will just be talking to my boyfriend and I'll be like, why? What do you do with that? This is like a common topic that comes up in that relationship. It's like how penises work.
SARAH: I don't know how to feel about that.
KAYLA: I just like want to understand. I mean, we did a whole episode about this, of where do you put your dick? This was an entire episode. And so basically my entire relationship, at least once a week, this conversation comes up.
SARAH: It's just dick curiosity?
KAYLA: Yeah, I just want to understand.
SARAH: Interesting. Interesting. I do find it interesting though that I was far enough into my own journey of being aro-ace. Because at this point I had claimed aro as a term that I was using.
KAYLA: Had you?
SARAH: Yeah, I said it at the beginning.
KAYLA: I mean, you did, but I mean there were times though that you were unsure of it though, right?
SARAH: Yeah, but I was at the point where I had kind of tried it on and I was sticking with it. Even if I sometimes did doubt things. But I was clearly far enough into that journey to be able to even talk about this kind of stuff. Because when I was a senior in high school, I would never have been able to talk about that kind of stuff.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's very true.
SARAH: So, I think, I mean, partially just because we were in college and that's what happens in college, but also just me understanding my sexuality and romantic orientation better made me feel more free to trash talk dicks openly on the internet.
KAYLA: Oh, yes.
SARAH: Trash talk dicks.
KAYLA: Yeah
[Audio Playback]
SARAH: I hate that.
KAYLA: I still agree with this. I did think you were going to stop there. And I was like, this isn't about the butt, this is about the dick.
[Audio Playback]
SARAH: A dick looks kind of like a dead tree.
KAYLA: Explain
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Flaccid or not?
SARAH: I don't want to think about it. I don't know.
KAYLA: No, now I've come up with it. A flaccid dick looks like a tree stump. Because they're typically smaller.
SARAH: Why did I do this?
KAYLA: Nothing has changed. I will continue.
SARAH: I would say I got to go home, but I am at home. I could go get my mom. My mom is downstairs. Mom, can you come pick me up from my podcast? Can you come pick me up out of my own bedroom? I'm scared.
KAYLA: Oh okay.
[Audio Playback]
KAYLA: Wait, should we feature Julie on this 100th episode? Should you go get Julie?
SARAH: What would she say?
KAYLA: Just hi. As everyone's mom.
SARAH: Sure, once we get through this.
KAYLA: Okay.
[Audio Playback]
KAYLA: Who did we text?
[Audio Playback]
SARAH: Because they look like trees, dead trees
[Audio Playback]
KAYLA: Whoa?
SARAH: I know, right?
KAYLA: Whoa!
SARAH: Your maybe Demi was really out there even in episode one.
KAYLA: Episode one? I do not remember that.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. It surprised me when I listened to it yesterday.
KAYLA: I don't remember that at all.
SARAH: I don't know when we officially changed the intro for you to say Demi straight. I don't think it was that far in.
KAYLA: It was not that far in. It was maybe around like episode seven or eight, I think.
SARAH: Seven is the one that keeps coming to my brain.
KAYLA: I think it was around episode seven, but I did not think it was this early that I even talked about it.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Wow!
SARAH: I feel like I knew that at that point you were maybe considering that that might be the case, but I didn't realize that you had straight up said it on the pod.
KAYLA: Yeah, because you've said before too that you knew I was Demi before I did.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But in my mind I always also forget it was episode seven, because in my mind I always think that it was further into the podcast that it happened. For some reason that's always what I think, even though that's obviously not true. Yeah. So that is, oh my god, that is shocking.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Whoa.
[00:30:00]
SARAH: Wild.
KAYLA: That’s insane actually, that’s very crazy to me. Wow. I’m fully shook right now. Anyway.
SARAH: Hit play
[Audio Playback]
KAYLA: Wow, look at me
[Audio Playback]
KAYLA: What? We had this full conversation
SARAH: I guess
[Audio Playback]
SARAH: Dicks in space
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Yeah, I don’t like that either
[Audio Playback]
SARAH: Would you care for my dick pic?
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Me neither
[Audio Playback]
KAYLA: You know what's so sad is that I keep laughing at this.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Which is so self-centered.
SARAH: It is but…
KAYLA: But…
SARAH: We're funny sometimes.
KAYLA: Sometimes I think we're really funny.
SARAH: I was going to say, I don't think this episode is as cringey as we thought it was going to be.
KAYLA: No, I'm having a pretty good time.
SARAH: Yeah, like you can tell we're…
KAYLA: The beginning was rough.
SARAH: The beginning was rough.
KAYLA: You can tell we're getting more comfortable though.
SARAH: Yeah, because we're just kind of talking to each other at this point in the episode.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Which is a skill we had mastered.
KAYLA: I would hope so.
SARAH: Oh, me too.
KAYLA: Oh, good.
[Audio Playback]
KAYLA: Okay, that was very weird because you just, at the beginning of that sentence, I did not recognize your voice. For some reason it sounded really different and I was like, is this why listeners can never tell our voices apart?
SARAH: But it doesn't sound like you're, I mean, you're right. It did sound a little bit weird. It sounded kind of like I was just congested.
KAYLA: I don't understand what we were diseased with.
SARAH: What were we sick with? And it wouldn't make sense for us to have the same thing because when we recorded this we didn't even live together.
KAYLA: No, we were not living together that summer.
SARAH: So, I'm baffled.
KAYLA: I'm baffled.
[Audio Playback]
SARAH: Long pause.
KAYLA: Yes. Why didn't we edit that out?
SARAH: Unedited.
KAYLA: Oh, these long pauses are really getting me.
SARAH: Oh, they really are. I mean, later on I got very diligent and obsessive about it, and now I'm actually less so, but.
KAYLA: Yeah, that was bad.
SARAH: So many long pauses.
KAYLA: Wow, such a… what a natural conversation that we were having.
SARAH: Well, I mean, natural conversations do have pauses, it's just not ideal for a podcast.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's fair
[Audio Playback]
SARAH: The dicks are magnetized
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: The dicks, they’re magnetized
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: You know like magnets, the dicks just find each other, you know
KAYLA: Okay
[Audio Playback]
SARAH: It could also be very hindering and annoying though.
KAYLA: Oh, see, yeah, that could become a problem of, like, if you accidentally see a dick while at work somehow.
SARAH: It's like when young men are going through puberty or whatever, but like for your whole life.
KAYLA: That would suck. I have heard in my dick curiosity, as I have learned about…
SARAH: Dickiosity.
KAYLA: Nope. As I have learned about dick-having. That is something that has come up.
SARAH: I'm so glad that I don't have a dick.
KAYLA: Yeah, it seems like… do you know what men do to hide their dicks when they are protruding? Would you like to know?
SARAH: Sure.
KAYLA: You fold it up and you tuck it into your waistband. Isn't that insane?
SARAH: I didn't even know that they could do that.
KAYLA: I know! Why do they fold like that? This is what I'm talking about, Sarah. There's so much to learn!
SARAH: They're terrifying tree worms.
KAYLA: They bend up. They bend all the way up.
SARAH: Mom, I'm scared.
KAYLA: Isn't that insane?
SARAH: I'm afraid.
KAYLA: Uh oh, anyway.
[Audio Playback]
SARAH: I wouldn't be a good fit for a Grindr for many reasons.
KAYLA: Really? Tell me all of those.
SARAH: First of all, I'm aro-ace. Second of all, I identify as a woman. Third of all, I'm really, really pale. And so, I would look weird just like green…
KAYLA: Plus, your amazing abs are gone.
SARAH: Don't remind me. Rip Sarah's abs, 20... hold on.
KAYLA: Four?
SARAH: 2009, 8 to… I don’t know 13.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Rip. Ripped ha ha ha
KAYLA: No
[Audio Playback]
SARAH: I think that's more specific to Grindr than other apps. I feel like we were just projecting Grindr onto other apps.
KAYLA: I think we were. And I do think it's very Grindr-specific. From what I understand of what Grindr culture is like, yeah, it is very hookup-central.
SARAH: Like Tinder can be like that, but it doesn't have to be.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But Grindr...
KAYLA: Oh my god. Did you see that Facebook has a dating app now?
SARAH: Oh Jesus.
KAYLA: I cannot believe we did not cover this last week, because I think I discovered it last week maybe.
SARAH: Oh boy.
KAYLA: There's a new tab on Facebook that's a dating app. I don't know who's going to use it. Maybe the 70-year-old people who are the only ones that still use Facebook? I don't know. I don't know.
SARAH: Are they going to get catfished by Russian bots?
KAYLA: Oh my god, they are. It's going to be so bad, because the only people that actively use Facebook are old people and people that are way too political. Yikes.
SARAH: Way to alienate our possible Facebook user listeners.
KAYLA: I mean, it's just like, numbers-wise, you know?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Listen.
SARAH: I'm listening.
KAYLA: Okay
[Audio Playback]
SARAH: Good speaking. What if it’s gay Vigina
KAYLA: No
[Augio Playback]
SARAH: Good recovery there, in my opinion.
KAYLA: We were really doing it.
SARAH: I was quote unquoteing even from episode one.
KAYLA: Like you always
SARAH: Oh yeah
[Audio Playback]
SARAH: Free the vagina pic.
KAYLA: Wow, an early plug.
[00:40:00]
SARAH: Well, this is how the poll started. Right here right now. We still do, follow it. Three listeners. It is just funny listening to that now
KAYLA: It is. That is really weird.
SARAH: We actually got listeners, which is wild. That's so weird.
KAYLA: I don’t know, it’s so weird
[Audio Playback]
SARAH: That's early form of the poll.
KAYLA: I know but it was in the reviews.
SARAH: It was in iTunes reviews.
KAYLA: Which you guys should still do, to say.
SARAH: Whoa. That's really weird to listen to.
KAYLA: Yeah. Because now we have so many. Ew.
SARAH: Yeah, I was also thinking, so we never mentioned beef in this episode. So, I was like, when do we first mention beef? Episode 2.
KAYLA: Yeah, I found the episode 2 poll will go over it.
SARAH: Beef. Yep.
KAYLA: Alright, let's finish this out.
[Audio Playback]
SARAH: Mom! Mom.
KAYLA: So yeah.
SARAH: Classic. Sounds fake. Bye.
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: We eventually came up with that outro, but it was a couple episodes in before we had it.
KAYLA: Yeah, we didn't have an outro for a while.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Whoa.
SARAH: Because we already had the beef joke by the time we got to the outro, so it had to have been at least three or four episodes in.
KAYLA: True. Wow, that was a lot less cringey than I thought.
SARAH: Yeah, it wasn't that bad. And I will say like as I mentioned before, I was kind of impressed by our wokeness here, but even then we've grown a lot.
KAYLA: Oh yeah.
SARAH: I'm not looking back and being like, oh man, I can't believe I said that, but now I'm like, there's probably a better way to say that. There's probably a more diplomatic way to say that, but that just comes with time of having a podcast like this.
KAYLA: Yeah, think we definitely improved as podcast people, but it was definitely a lot better than I thought it was going to be.
SARAH: Yeah, even though the actual podcasting skills weren't quite there yet, we had the rapport and that's oftentimes the most important part anyway.
KAYLA: Wow. Good job complimenting us. To us. Both of us.
SARAH: Me? Good fucking job, bitch.
KAYLA: Self-confidence is important.
SARAH: Yep. Cool.
KAYLA: Would you like some polls?
SARAH: I would love some polls.
KAYLA: Alright, so here's the very first poll we ever did on Twitter. It was, let's see, what's the eighth month?
SARAH: Eighth month? August?
KAYLA: Yes, so it was August 20th, 2017. Question of the day. How much beef do you have with romantic and platonic relationships having unequal value in society?
SARAH: All the beef.
KAYLA: So, this was from episode two, and guess how many votes total it had?
SARAH: How many?
KAYLA: Guess.
SARAH: Five.
KAYLA: Seven. It was so wild watching the progression as I was going through and like, screenshotting all of these. It's like, because now we have some that are like, especially the ones that Avon kindly retweets, of like a ton of answers, but like the first many, it was like five people.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And like two of them were definitely us.
SARAH: Of course, they were.
KAYLA: So yeah, that, the 86% said two cows Sarah amount of beef.
SARAH: Good. Got a lot of beef?
KAYLA: Let's see. We also, from the next week, Kayla and Sarah are OTP, bro TP, or no TP. One person said OTP.
SARAH: Wow. The bromance.
KAYLA: Yeah, a real shipper.
SARAH: The fun thing about this, the fun thing about like Twitter polls is that A, you don't know who voted for once, for what, but also B, I don't even always remember what I voted for or if I voted.
KAYLA: Oh yeah, who knows?
SARAH: Because like I'm not always consistent about that, so like I don't even know.
KAYLA: Oh, here's a good classic one. Which would you rather have? Postcoital Jimmy John's, Postcoital Panera, Postcoital Wendy's, or Nocoitus All the Foods?
SARAH: Nocoitus All the Foods.
KAYLA: Yes, that did win. Honestly, not by a big margin. It was 36% and then Postcoital Panera was 24% and the other two were 20%. So, like, you know?
SARAH: Well, and I could really actually go for that now because I actually do eat Jimmy John's these days.
KAYLA: I haven't eaten Jimmy John's maybe since a Quidditch tournament.
SARAH: That's good. The owner is like a big game hunter who is a dick, but sometimes it's your only option, you know?
KAYLA: Like the very famous pizza place here, I feel like I've talked about this before, but a very famous pizza place here is owned by a Trump supporter and it kind of ruined my life to find that out.
SARAH: I was walking the dog the other day and there's a house in my sub that has a bunch of like, Trump 2020 signs, like keep America great, and I'm like, sht, sht, sht.
KAYLA: Yeah, I was at a fair over the weekend and someone was wearing a Trump 2020 t-shirt and I audibly just went, oh no, and my one friend that was with me just like laughed because it just escaped my body, the oh no. Like it was not, I did not mean to say such a thing. It just came out.
SARAH: It’s how you feel
KAYLA: This one is another origin of the cow. If you were getting married, how many cows would be in your cowery, your cow-dowery?
SARAH: Yeah beautiful
KAYLA: 101. I also, notably the last option in this poll is vegan. So, okay. Let's see. That's another good one. What's the worst thing to do in a Chipotle bathroom?
SARAH: Puke.
KAYLA: No, that got zero votes. There is puke, have sex, have explosive diarrhea, or give birth.
SARAH: Those are all pretty are all bad.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: The reason I said puke is because I know you've done that before, so it's just first thing in my mind.
KAYLA: Yeah, I know, which is why it's sad because no one voted for that option. And it's the only one that, I mean, I guess I don't know if you've had explosive diarrhea in a Chipotle bathroom.
SARAH: Not that I'm aware of, no.
KAYLA: Yeah, so puke is the only thing that either of us have done in a Chipotle bathroom out of these. Anyway, give birth one, because, yeah.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Let's see. When you go to heaven, instead of having 72 virgins, what do you want 72 of?
SARAH: Oh my god.
KAYLA: Cows, Wendy's franchises, $72, or Mountain Dews?
SARAH: $72. I think originally, I probably would have said Wendy's, but Wendy's is also owned by Trump supporter, which is horribly sad.
KAYLA: But I like Wendy's so much.
SARAH: I know. And I would say cows, but I can't take care of 72 cows. I just can't.
KAYLA: Yes, Wendy's franchises did win, and cows and $72 actually tied for losing.
SARAH: What was the other option?
KAYLA: Mountain Dew. That got 36%.
SARAH: How many votes is 36%?
KAYLA: Whatever 36% of 8 is.
SARAH: So, what, like 2?
KAYLA: Yeah. Where's the, oh, the caption on this. Episode 15's very important poll that's answer will probably be world changing. Where's the worst, also when I was going back through the tweets, old tweets, not good. I don't know what I was doing.
SARAH: I don't either. I was not the one crafting the tweets.
KAYLA: They were bad. They were like, bad. Where's the worst place to put your dick?
SARAH: Anywhere.
KAYLA: Okay. Vitamin water bottle.
SARAH: Oh God I remember that
KAYLA: Door knob hole. Ice fishing hole. Or, do you know the last one?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: The winning one?
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: Waffle iron. It won. No one voted for door knob hole, unfortunately.
SARAH: I was actually about to say, I think door knob hole would be the worst if you're on the other side of the door.
KAYLA: If you're on the… well. isn't that just a glory hole?
SARAH: Oh no.
KAYLA: You know what's unfortunate is in glass blowing, which is a very fun thing to watch and know how to do, the like, thing of fire that they put it in is called a glory hole. It's very unfortunate.
SARAH: Yeah, I've seen some glass blowing happen in my life.
KAYLA: There's a TV show on Netflix that's like a glass blowing competition. It's very wild.
SARAH: My family always goes to Greenfield Village for holiday nights and they always make their glass candy canes and we like to watch because that's one of the only buildings that has heat.
KAYLA: That's very true. I do the same thing when I go there. Which character do you identify most as asexual?
SARAH: Katniss.
KAYLA: Katniss. Sherlock the Doctor or Jesus?
SARAH: Jesus.
KAYLA: Yeah. Katniss won.
SARAH: Katniss, of course.
KAYLA: Oh, this was the final poll of 2017. Whoa, weird. Respond below whether you identify as LGBTQA+. Where's that I, Kayla?
SARAH: I wasn't saying the I at that point. That's probably why you didn't include it. Yeah, probably.
[00:50:00]
KAYLA: And if you want to have kids. So LGBTQA+, and don't want kids, one. This one is funny just because it reminds me of how wild your family is. How many openly queer people, it doesn't say queer but I'm just shortening it, are there in your extended family? 0, 1, 2 to 5, 6+.
SARAH: That number has increased since that poll.
KAYLA: Yeah, and one person voted for 6+, and it's you.
SARAH: That was me. I do recall voting in that one.
KAYLA: This one is fun just because I don't remember the context at all. This was episode 22, whatever that was. Which of the stories reread did you hate the most? DIY husband dildo, butt stuff, why you're single, or I lived for them all?
SARAH: We were reading a romance magazine. One of those sexy movies.
KAYLA: That makes sense. Oh, was it like a Snapchat story thing?
SARAH: Yes, yes, it was Snapchat, it was Snapchat.
KAYLA: Oh, that makes so much more sense. There was a lot about the game episodes. Let's see, what else have we got here? Mystery poll, make sure you listen until the end. Mac and cheese, empty Sephora box, Sherlock hat, gingham. What?
SARAH: I don't know. I don't know, but I love it.
KAYLA: It was for episode 36. What I do think might have happened is we couldn't come up with a poll and these are just things that were in the room.
SARAH: That could totally be it
KAYLA: Because I did have a Sherlock hat. I do own some gingham. This might have been when I just got that one gingham outfit that I really like. You probably had an Etsy Sephora box.
SARAH: Probably.
KAYLA: And something with mac and cheese.
SARAH: It would have been yours if it was mac and cheese.
KAYLA: So, if anyone can tell me the context of that, please do. Do you feel like you're confident in what your sexuality is? 47% yes, 20% no, 33% maybe. Interesting. This one I think is very interesting. Have you ever been frustrated with your sexuality? 88% said yes.
SARAH: That checks out, unfortunately.
KAYLA: Yeah, but it's also I think comforting to know.
SARAH: Yeah. You're not alone.
KAYLA: Oh, so this is one of the ones that I think just is what I was talking about earlier. So, this one is, before you listened to our podcast, did you know about the four types of attraction? And then most people said yes. So, this one just made me feel like I somehow now feel like I know even less about asexuality and the queer community in general than I did then. And I think it's because you can clearly see, because we asked this about sex positive asexuality too, before this podcast, did you know about sex positive asexuality? Because I think we didn't know as much about it before we did the podcast on it.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And what this reminds me so much of now is now that we're in this community and we're talking to people in the community more, we realize how many things we don't know. And how many things there are that other people just have way more experience or expertise on. And so it was just a very interesting realization of, I feel like now I know even less than I did then, even though I've been doing this for longer.
SARAH: Yeah. We're still constantly learning. And as I've mentioned a couple times, especially recently, this idea that we're kind of experts. It feels weird to have people even say that or have people even come to us with questions. Because obviously we're here for that and we're happy to talk to you and help people out. But there's just still so much that we don't know.
KAYLA: I know, yeah. So, it's just kind of a really weird thing to think about. We've been doing this for two years, a hundred episodes. And somehow, I feel even less knowledgeable now just because I've realized how much there is.
SARAH: How much there is
KAYLA: Yeah, because at the time I didn't even know what I didn't know.
SARAH: Yeah, but I mean, if you ever stop learning into adulthood, you fucked it up.
KAYLA: It’s true
SARAH: It's good that we're still learning.
KAYLA: Sarah, what is key?
SARAH: Hydration and also communication and guac is extra.
KAYLA: Also consent, which won the poll, so you failed.
SARAH: Well, listen, I forgot.
KAYLA: Sarah, how deep is your love?
SARAH: 12 cows?
KAYLA: No, 1 to 2 feet, 3 to 4 feet, 5 to 10 feet, 10 plus feet.
SARAH: 5 to 10.
KAYLA: I'm sorry, that was not the winning answer. 1 to 2 and 10 plus were tied.
SARAH: Extremes.
KAYLA: Are you going to vote in the midterm elections?
SARAH: Yes, I did
KAYLA: Most people said yes or that they legally could not. So good job everyone.
SARAH: I did vote.
KAYLA: 6% of you said no, I suck.
SARAH: You do suck.
KAYLA: Which is the best sexy costume? Do you remember them?
SARAH: Yoda.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: I give you sexy corn.
KAYLA: You were close with Yoda.
SARAH: Gollum.
KAYLA: Jabba the Hutt.
SARAH: Jabba the Hutt.
KAYLA: Gandhi.
SARAH: Gandhi.
KAYLA: Used tampon. Waluigi.
SARAH: Wow. I know we did talk about sexy corn and Yoda in that episode.
KAYLA: We did.
SARAH: Because those are both in the song Sexy for Mean Girls.
KAYLA: Yes. This was another one I thought was very interesting and it's from, no, not even that recently. In terms of your sexuality, do you think that your sexuality is all the way on one end of a spectrum or that you're somewhere in the middle? And this one was almost completely tied, which I thought was very interesting.
SARAH: Interesting.
KAYLA: Yeah. A very tragic poll. What do you call a fizzy carbonated drink?
SARAH: I don't want to talk about it.
KAYLA: And pop did not win. I've been saying pop at work recently and it's not going well.
SARAH: I will say pop until I die. You cannot make me say that other word.
KAYLA: I would just like some thoughts and prayers in this trying time as I live on the East Coast surrounded by East Coast people that don't understand what I'm saying.
SARAH: Like on the rare occasion I've had to reference pop in like a script I'm writing, I find a different word. Like I will like specify what kind of pop it is or I'll just say like drink or like because I, if they're from the Midwest I'll have them say pop. But I'm not going to have anyone say anything else because it's disgusting.
KAYLA: This is the dedication that I like to see.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: If a person is in a situation where they need to change the subject, what should they change it to?
SARAH: The Olympics.
KAYLA: That is one of them.
SARAH: I know, I remembered that.
KAYLA: Any others?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Capybara, Weed, 2032 Olympics location, Ancient Family Drama.
SARAH: All great options.
KAYLA: Yeah, that one did win. Ancient Family Drama.
SARAH: Yeah, it's good.
KAYLA: We decided that for our primary poll, we would ask you guys for advice, but then we couldn't think of anything to ask advice on, so we're going to ask what we should ask for advice about. Chapstick, Capybara's, cow, crust.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: It was cow. What would you rather do than be aphobic?
SARAH: Knit my arms into a sweater.
KAYLA: Carbon neutral label makers. Tortoises? Find out. Find Sarah's stapler.
SARAH: I found it
KAYLA: Reverse puzzles. You did find it.
SARAH: Wait, now where is it? Oh no.
KAYLA: Uh-uh.
SARAH: It's in this room somewhere. Oh, I know where it is.
KAYLA: This one is good because I think things have changed a lot for you, especially since this poll. Have you ever watched The Bachelor?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because now you watch a lot.
SARAH: Yeah. I watched it last night. I watched it the night before. I actually do want to do an episode talking about The Bachelor specifically.
KAYLA: The Bachelor in Paradise?
SARAH: Just Bachelor the franchise.
KAYLA: Okay, we can do that.
SARAH: We did kind of talk about that, but like, I have, now that I've seen more of it, I have some thoughts.
KAYLA: Okay. Women?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah, all the answers are yes.
SARAH: Good.
KAYLA: Cow race, the third cow one.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: Uh, big juice. You all said yes because those were the only answers. Buy the merch now.
SARAH: Are we already in the 80s?
KAYLA: Oh, we're up there. I've not been doing all of them, obviously.
SARAH: Yeah, I know.
KAYLA: Uh, looking back at your childhood, can you pick out signs of, or things that indicated you were ace? Uh, lots of people said yes.
SARAH: Yeah, there was a stop sign, um, that identified that I was ace.
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: It's a sign. It's a sign. It's a stop sign.
KAYLA: Goodbye. Nope. Is Will Myers from Stranger Things arrow ace?
SARAH: Yes, but you spelled his name wrong.
KAYLA: Yes, I did. Yes and maybe are tied, and this is why I don't put maybe on polls, but then people yell at me for not putting maybe, but this is why I don't do maybe. Because y'all need to decide.
SARAH: Got to make a decision.
KAYLA: Well, this is fun because it's relevant for today. As an asexual person, would you use a matchmaking site? So, if you'll remember from that episode, we set up a fake matchmatting, matchmating? Uh oh.
SARAH: You also spelled Juliette wrong.
KAYLA: Yeah, whatever. We set up a fake account and they emailed us today telling us they found us someone.
SARAH: He's 41, he's tall, he was raised in Hawaii.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: That's all we know.
KAYLA: That's all I remember. The majority of people felt negatively about that magic mic thing that we made them watch.
SARAH: Terrifying.
KAYLA: Oh, also about that episode where we like talked about weird sexual things. In that we talked about 50 Shades and I talked about how I like watched a clip of it at work and I hoped that no one from work was listening. And my new work friend was like, oh I listened to your podcast the other day. And I was like, what episode did you listen to? And it was that one. So, someone from work did listen.
SARAH: That is really funny.
KAYLA: But it was okay, she didn't judge me.
[01:00:00]
SARAH: Iconic
KAYLA: We all know that dinosaurs eat aphobic people. Which dinosaur will get to the aphobic person first and eat a nice snack? It was the second one.
SARAH: Well, see I thought it was going to be the first one. If all the dinosaurs were going to be the same, I felt like people would go for the first one. But then, the first one, you made it an herbivore. A herbivore.
KAYLA: And people wanted to be accurate.
SARAH: Yeah, so most people chose the carnivorous. Or omnivorous dinosaur.
KAYLA: They did. And the final one from last week was Don't Should T-shirt. Which 87% of you said yes. And now they're there.
SARAH: Now you're stuck with them.
KAYLA: Link below.
SARAH: I would say you should get one. But you know what? You're going to get one because it's a good thing. Because you like it.
KAYLA: Because we don't should, we do.
SARAH: We don't should in this house.
KAYLA: No, not in my podcast house.
SARAH: Incredible. Okay.
KAYLA: Bring Julie
SARAH: Oh, okay. How am I going to do this?
KAYLA: Call her. And tell her come here.
SARAH: I'm calling you on the phone right now.
KAYLA: Oh, text her. And say come here.
SARAH: Here. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to disconnect my computer. I'm going to bring my whole computer downstairs.
KAYLA: With your mic? Yeah. Okay, we're on the move.
SARAH: We're on an adventure. Sorry for all these noises.
KAYLA: Sarah won't let us do a car cast, but she'll let herself do a mobile podcast. This is honestly so rude.
SARAH: Well, I didn't want to like walk… Alright, guys, gals, and non-binary pals. This is Sarah from the future. As I was trying to bring my computer and mic downstairs, it stopped recording. But I didn't realize until I was back upstairs. So, unfortunately, you missed all of the fun things. My dad said hi. It was his first moment on the podcast. Very exciting. I almost tripped and died falling down the stairs. A lot went on. And then, right now, I was going to try and record this little thing. Only to find out that I couldn't get my mic to work. So this is recorded on my phone. Really, it is the most sounds fake but okay thing that has ever happened. So, just take my word for it. That I almost died. And don't worry, my mom is going to be on later anyway. So, bye! Back to your regularly scheduled programming.
KAYLA: Should I get my cat to say something? Okay, here I come. I'm coming back. Okay, here I am. I pulled my cat out of the sink where she was sitting. Say something. How do I make a cat meow? Say something. Billy.
SARAH: We're back recording again, Kayla.
KAYLA: Oh no, now my cat is trying to get into my raw chicken. No. No. This is good. This seems correct for the 100th episode.
SARAH: The chaos is real. My mother has come upstairs alongside the dog. What do you have to say?
JULIE: I have to say...
SARAH: You got to get closer to mic.
JULIE: Take the good care of your cows.
SARAH: Good.
SARAH: Come on, Sadie. You want to say hi? Yeah. Good. Okay, cool. We're going to resume this now.
JULIE: Bye, Kayla.
KAYLA: Bye.
SARAH: Alright, so after that absolute shit show...
KAYLA: That was very good. And accurate.
SARAH: Accurate. Okay, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Oh, Jebus. I don't know.
SARAH: What has been your favorite episode thus far?
KAYLA: Oh, that's a good one.
SARAH: Yeah. Open-ended. Cool. Uh, social media. @SoundsFakePod, everywhere. You can email us. You can congratulate us. You can give us your poetry.
KAYLA: Mm-mm.
SARAH: Oh wait, no, I forgot about beef and juice.
KAYLA: I'll take some poetry, though.
SARAH: Yeah. Kayla, what's your beef and your juice this week?
KAYLA: Uh, my beef is that I am on my period.
SARAH: Mm.
KAYLA: And it's bad because it basically skipped last month and so it came early and attacked me this month.
SARAH: Uh oh. It's not fun.
KAYLA: Uh, my juice is... I had one. Oh, the Great British Baking Show is like back. And instead of just like having to wait, Netflix is putting it out like three days after it airs in England. So now it's on like every Friday. So, it's weird because you usually get to binge things on Netflix, but it's also a fun time.
SARAH: That's exciting. Uh, my beef is that my right arm is useless.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. Tell us more.
SARAH: I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was getting surgery on my wrist in the future. That is now in the past. I got surgery on my wrist, which is like good because then the thing that we were getting rid of isn't there anymore. But it's bad because the doctor wrapped it all up quite a bit, and even the nurses were like, that's a very large bandage for the surgery you got. But I don't know, I guess the doctor was just trying to protect his work. But it's very large, and my hand hurts, and my knuckles are very swollen, and I basically can't use my hand.
KAYLA: But what she did do was work tirelessly to get merch up with her broken hand.
SARAH: I did, with left hand only.
KAYLA: So y'all better buy it.
SARAH: It took so long. It's like, I feel like Captain Hook. Like, I have, like there's something there, and technically it can like grab things. But it's really not that helpful, and it could be used as a weapon.
KAYLA: It is very wild. And Sarah did not do as I requested the other day. I was like, you should just post a blank picture of your weird cast and make people...
SARAH: It’s now a cast though, it's soft.
KAYLA: It's soft, but it like looks like a big cast. And I was like, you should have people virtually sign it. And she didn't.
SARAH: Sorry.
KAYLA: So, but now you have to because I said it in the podcast.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: My other beef is this ingrown hair I've been trying to get out, and I'm like five layers deep in my skin and I can't get it.
SARAH: This is such a weird episode.
KAYLA: I like feel like it really makes sense though.
SARAH: Yeah. Okay, but my beef is that my right arm is useless. Using it hurts. I'm on a bunch of drugs. I can't drive any distance, so I'm just stuck in my house.
KAYLA: Yay
SARAH: My juice. Did you say your juice?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Okay, my juice is this podcast. I'm so glad we made it to 100. It's very exciting.
KAYLA: I am also very excited.
SARAH: Yes. My other juice is I have booked a trip to go to New York City to see some shows I'm excited. I mean, you can come find me, but we are really shoving them in.
KAYLA: When bae comes to the east coast and doesn't even…
SARAH: Aren't you going to be home the next week anyway for Thanksgiving?
KAYLA: When are you going to New York?
SARAH: The weekend before Thanksgiving.
KAYLA: Oh, I might already be home by then. Hey, get out my chicken. My beef is my cat keeps trying to lick my raw chicken.
SARAH: Yeah, that's not a good call
KAYLA: I know, she needs to stop.
SARAH: Alright, well, on that note, social media. Tell us about things.
KAYLA: This is your job. What?
SARAH: Oh, I was telling the listeners.
KAYLA: Oh, I thought you were telling me to tell them about social media and I was like, that's not my job.
SARAH: No, no. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/ soundsfakepod. Our two dollar patrons are Keith McBlaine, Roxanne, AliceisinSpace, Anonymous, Mariah Walzer, Jonathan, Christopher T. Verdury, Patrick Jackson, Andrew Yang, Nini, and Courtney Jones. Hi Courtney, thank you for joining us.
KAYLA: Hi Courtney
SARAH: Our five dollar patrons are Jennifer Smart, Asritha Vinnakota, Austin Le, Drew Finney, PeriPerry Fierro, My Aunt Jeannie, Dee, Megan Orrell, Quinn Pollock, Emily Collins, Tim, Ryan Lutcieti, Book Marvel, and Changeling MX. Our ten dollar patrons are Kevin and Tessa @dirtyuncle, @Tessa_m _k, Arcness who would like to promote the Trevor Project, Benjamin Ibarra who would like to promote tabletop games, Anonymous who would like to promote Halloween, and Sarah McCoy who recently bumped up and she would like to promote her podcast which is called Podcast from Planet Weird which is where two friends talk about Disney Channel, original movies, and other 90s and 2000s. Sounds like a fun time.
KAYLA: That does sound… Disney original movies are wild so that sounds like a very fun time.
SARAH: Yeah. And then our 15 dollar patrons are Nathaniel White, Nathanieljwhitedesigns.com, my mom Julie who you saw just recently, heard I guess, would like to promote free mom hugs, Sarah Jones who's @Eternal Lolli everywhere, and Dragonfly who hasn't told us what they want to promote yet but we're very happy…
KAYLA: Well, they said that they did not have anything to promote so I think that this week… perhaps we just come up with something for them every week? And this week…
SARAH: I would like to promote them this week.
KAYLA: I was going to promote our merch but that's much nicer.
SARAH: We have merch.
KAYLA: There will be a link below, it's also at the URL designedbyhumans/shop/soundsfakepod or on our website
SARAH: There is a dot com in there.
KAYLA: Whatever, you'll know where the dot com goes. You'll know where that part goes. Or just go to our website.
SARAH: Yes. Alright, well thank you for listening. Thank you for those of you who have been around for 100 episodes or 1 episode. We are grateful for all of you and we're excited to keep doing this thing. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]