Hey what's up hello! This week we talk about Sarah's experience watching Bachelor in Paradise as an aromantic person. Turns out, it actually taught her a lot!
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/the-bachelor-from-an-aro-ace-perspective-pt-2
Donate: patreon.com/soundsfakepod
Follow: @soundsfakepod
Join: https://discord.gg/W7VBHMt
Buy our book: www.soundsfakepod.com/book
Hey what's up hello! This week we talk about Sarah's experience watching Bachelor in Paradise as an aromantic person. Turns out, it actually taught her a lot!
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/the-bachelor-from-an-aro-ace-perspective-pt-2
Donate: patreon.com/soundsfakepod
Follow: @soundsfakepod
Join: https://discord.gg/W7VBHMt
Buy our book: www.soundsfakepod.com/book
[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey what's up hello welcome to sounds fake but okay a podcast where an aro-ace girl I’m Sarah that's me
KAYLA: And the demi straight girl that's me Kayla
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand
KAYLA: On today's episode, The Bachelor part two
BOTH: Sounds fake but okay
[Intro Music]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: M’ark?
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: M’ark.
SARAH: Oh okay.
KAYLA: I don't know I’m running out again.
SARAH: It just made me think of that uh part in Rent where he like goes to like the meeting of people who have AIDS and he's like I’m Mark!
KAYLA: I had a good one that I thought of yesterday I keep not writing them down so you know. Stupid.
SARAH: Yeah. Well, we hope everyone has been enjoying episode 100.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: We're in the triple digits now. We're elderly.
KAYLA: We are elderly.
SARAH: And I hope you have all been enjoying the merch.
KAYLA: I know… I saw someone…
SARAH: Some people have bought merch some people have gotten their merch already which…
KAYLA: I know, it's very exciting
SARAH: Like very quickly, it came very fast
KAYLA: I know, it's very wild
SARAH: I… we don't… we don't have any of it yet
KAYLA: Yeah, we need to get paid
SARAH: Yeah. Well, especially if we're going to see each other in a couple weeks, we should uh take some pics
KAYLA: Oh fuck. Shit, all right yeah, I need to… oh but I just bought a plane ticket oh I’m so poor okay yeah buy merch so I can buy my own merch
SARAH: We do have to buy our own merch yeah
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Riparoni
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Uh but Kayla what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: Uh well we've already done it once and then we're back again to talk about The Bachelor
SARAH: Specifically, Bachelor in Paradise
KAYLA: Right and mostly because Sarah watched the whole thing
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: And now has a new perspective on The Bachelor now that she actually watches it
SARAH: Yeah so, I got… I somehow started watching The Bachelorette last season and I watched the whole season of The Bachelorette and then I thought that was going to be it but then my housemates were like no we're watching Bachelor in Paradise so we… I have seen I've missed a little bit of it but I've seen most of Bachelor in Paradise I've seen all the most important stuff of course. Um and this was of a great surprise to a great many people uh given who I am as a person
KAYLA: Yeah fair
SARAH: My mom has watched Bachelor in Paradise with me and she still does not understand why I enjoy it. It just seems very out of character which I understand
KAYLA: I mean it is, it is
SARAH: It is
KAYLA: Kind of out of character for you
SARAH: But… because everyone is like it's not like real and I’m like I don't care, it's entertaining it's so entertaining like it doesn't have to be like “good tv” if it's entertaining tv
KAYLA: Yeah, okay so back up for a second and explain what bachelor in paradise is
SARAH: So, basically on the Bachelor and the Bachelorette people who don't end up with the Bachelor or the Bachelorette at the end they can choose to go on Bachelor in Paradise which is basically like a month in the summer where they go to paradise which is um in Mexico and they basically all are in this place together and you try to find relationships and they like give roses out to each other still so like in Bachelor and Bachelorette like you give roses to people you want to stay and so like they alternate weeks like the men and women giving out roses and every week there's a couple of people who don't get roses um sometimes people if they're not feeling like they're developing any like romantic relationships that they're into they can just leave by their own free will and then like they bring different people in like as the season progresses like they bring people in and other people leave and like they kind of mix things up so basically the point is at the end you… the goal is to like get engaged to one person and for you to be engaged but like there's you know as one does, but there's like love triangles and stuff and it's very dramatic
KAYLA: Well, yes, it's basically like on the Bachelor and the Bachelorette there's like one guy or one girl and they're trying to find like their one person but no one else in the house is interacting like with each other in a romantic way right but on Bachelor in Paradise there's guys and girls and everyone can date
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, it's like a free for all
SARAH: Yes essentially but it is interesting because I kind of like Bachelor in Paradise better because like they actually get to interact with each other like in Bachelor and Bachelorette like they are with each other on the dates and that's it, whereas in Bachelor in Paradise like they're with each other all the time and like they like make genuine friendships with other people there and like they're… like it's not even just all romantic relationships like there are definitely some like platonic relationships that form and like yes there are some people that don't like each other and have their own beefs and whatever but like it is just nice because like they're like rooting for each other and like it's a fun time
KAYLA: Yeah, I feel like it would just… because like you said I feel like part of me with the Bachelor and Bachelorette kind of just like wants to see what's going on in the house like when there aren't dates
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because it's just like I mean I guess that's kind of like what Big Brother is but…
SARAH: Yeah. Yeah. But I just have some thoughts that I have gathered about romance from this television program so for all of those of you who are like you should talk about aromanticism more often on the pod, lucky for you today is the day literally everything here is about being aro
KAYLA: Yay
SARAH: Now before you say but Sarah, Bachelor is not real life it's all just for TV, bitch I know, I know that this is all fabricated and I know that there are a lot of aspects of it that are just for ratings and are just for entertainment value and blah blah blah blah blah however that is part of the reason too why I like Bachelor in Paradise better is because you get to kind of see these relationships develop a little bit more naturally like it's not one person dating 30 people and like slowly shaving that number down like it's one person dating one person or maybe one person dating two people or like and you get to see that they have the conversations they have with each other, so as fake as some of Bachelor in Paradise is there are definitely some conversations that take place and you know what I’ve discovered?
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Here are my musings about allo people
KAYLA: Uh
SARAH: Love sounds like it's a really good time, like romantic love, but also it just sounds so awful
KAYLA: Why do you say that? I have a guess of why you say that but
SARAH: There are just so… like emotions heartbreak what? like I… on one hand I understand why people want to pursue it like I understand why they want to have romantic relationships and why they want to have romantic partners but on the other hand after watching this shit I’m like why would you put yourself through that
KAYLA: Yeah, I think the older I get and the more experience I have the more I come to understand that yeah like it's a lot of work
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like you… it's something you have to put like active effort into, it's not like oh you just fall in love and it's all beautiful and sunshine and rainbows
SARAH: Happily ever after
KAYLA: Yeah, like to make things happily ever after you have to put in a lot of legwork
SARAH: Yeah, well that's why I’ve… I feel like I’ve learned a lot from Bachelor that I haven't learned from other media like in movies and TV like you get the will they won't they you get like maybe some big fights you get the happily ever after but like you don't see a lot of like the real actual conversations that people in relationships have to have with each other
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Because it's like not entertaining or whatever
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But they have to have that in Bachelor in Paradise because that's the whole thing, it's about like finding love and about finding the person who's like best for you or whatever. And so, like I actually kind of got to see some of those conversations for the first time and yes, I will say it again I know some of them are just kind of like exaggerated, I know listen, I got it. But um there was one specific couple first of all, gay the first gay couple uh in Bachelor history
[00:10:00]
KAYLA: Bachelor US history
SARAH: Bachelor US history, so there are two lovely young women named Demi and Kristian, their names sound kind of gender-neutral slash masculine but they're both women um and they… there was a whole thing about how Demi was like dating this guy on Bachelor in Paradise but she had previously been dating Kristian in the real world and she kind of kept thinking about Kristian and was like oh man like I am still just thinking about Kristian a lot so they brought Kristian on…
KAYLA: Because fuck it why not?
SARAH: Because ratings, right? And she was like yeah no I like Kristian and poor Derrick ended up going home because he's like I’m just sad watching this now um. And he looks like John Krasinski/also Liam Hemsworth
KAYLA: Interesting
SARAH: But mostly John Krasinski, anyway, a slightly different nose, don't worry about it, okay. Um but so then they got together and they like Kristian stayed in paradise with her and I was going to be like I don't want to give away spoilers but by the time this episode is out the finale would have been almost a week ago so I’m going to throw spoilers at you
KAYLA: Plus like from the last episode we did about the Bachelor I know most of you guys don't watch it so
SARAH: Yeah, that's true. Um so Demi and Kristian were one of the couples that got engaged at the end, um and they're still engaged and they have… it's not like a live show but it's like a…
KAYLA: Reunion
SARAH: Reunion, where everyone tells all and like so Demi had proposed to Kristian on the show and then they were like oh man like Kristian was like we should get you a ring and Demi was like I don’t know, but then Kristian just like proposed back on the show and it was so cute and now they both have rings and it's very cute but anyway the interesting thing about that relationship is because they were together before Bachelor in Paradise, their relationship was kind of just at a different point than everyone else because like one of the things that especially my mom was like they've only been together for like two weeks because like Bachelor in Paradise takes place over the course of like four weeks essentially and so a lot of the things people think is like unrealistic about that show is like you're getting engaged after like four weeks and maybe you've only been in paradise for two weeks and maybe you've only been dating this person for one week blah blah blah um but because they had dated prior to Paradise like their relationship was just a little bit more evolved essentially and so they had this conversation at one point which everyone on Twitter was like this is like the realest conversation they've ever seen take place on Bachelor which checks out because they had been together previously, where basically the point was Kristian is like a very like touchy affectionate person and Demi is not and Kristian has also been out for a little while whereas this was Demi's coming out like she basically came out on television with like however bajillion people watching which is like a big deal because like people had known her from the previous season she was on and she's very entertaining and like people really liked her and she was worried about it, so like she was still struggling with the coming out thing and then she is not a very affectionate person and she just like felt kind of jealous about the fact that Kristian was being so affectionate with other people um and she like felt like Kristian was like flirting with them but then she also felt guilty because she was like I’m just not a very touchy person and like because of where she is in her coming out phase like she's not necessarily comfortable being like PDA-ish in public and so she's like I don't know if I can be the kind of person you need blah blah blah they had like this long conversation about this obviously they showed the most entertaining parts for television, but all of this is to say that it was like a real actual conversation about like a real actual relationship that I was kind of seeing for the first time because like of all the alloromantic people I know and like people in relationships I know like they don't have these conversations in front of me which like thanks please don't, I really… I don't want to be a part of that um but I guess I just didn't realize that there are a lot of things that I understood like logistically I knew that these conversations were happening because like even platonic relationships have conversations like these sometimes and I understood that like they might be a little bit more intense in romantic relationships but I just didn't have a grasp on it because I had never experienced it myself and also like that's not the kind of stuff that is usually like entertaining in your rom-coms
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And so, I realized that like there's a lot of things that I don't necessarily have the best grasp on because I’m aro specifically and as I was watching that I was like wow I feel like I understand romantic relationships better just from watching this like one relationship, also it was just a very healthy conversation which is good
KAYLA: Yeah, I think that like definitely makes a lot of sense and I think yeah I don't know I mean from my experience those conversations definitely happen like all the time or at least they should like in a healthy relationship
SARAH: But I just don't see that ever
KAYLA: No, I know, I guess I've never thought about the fact that like how would you know…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That people are having to have those kind of about like conversations… like I think specifically someone at work and I've talked to my co-workers about this like several times for some reason but like all of my co-workers are in long-term relationships, I can't remember if we've done an episode on love languages before, have we? Here? Or we've done 100 now how am I supposed to remember?
SARAH: I don’t know
KAYLA: Anyway, so the love languages are basically like… it's basically like words of affirmation or like acts of service or quality time, it's basically like how you show your love and how you like most want someone else to show their love to you like what means the most to you like….
SARAH: I will send you cat gifs
KAYLA: Right, like…
SARAH: My love language is gifs via text message
KAYLA: Uh I don't know which one that would fall under, but it's basically like…
SARAH: I don’t know
KAYLA: Do you want someone to like say nice things to you or do you want them to like take out the trash or like just spend time with you? um and so like that… I think that's a conversation that couples have to have a lot too of like how you need to show your affection for someone else like I don't feel this from you right now can you do this instead…
SARAH: Well, that was… Sorry
KAYLA: No, I was just going to say my co-workers were talking about Bachelor in Paradise today because a bunch of them watch and they were saying that there was this other couple on the show that was engaged but like…
SARAH: Kris and Katie
KAYLA: Was fighting yeah and like probably wasn't going to work out and I guess she literally said on the reunion like I feel like we love different and my co-workers were like oh my god it was like totally like the love languages
SARAH: It was, and the interesting thing about that too is I've been stalking all of them on social media since then because why not you know and their relationship like everyone on Twitter was like Katie you need to dump him like if he's not giving enough back to you but like it was really just they… like as she said on the show she was like they're just having trouble with communication and um like part of the thing too is that like in their relationship like she just seemed a little bit more invested than he was and he… this was his sixth time on a Bachelor show
KAYLA: That's insane
SARAH: And so, like he's… they were giving him… like every person they put like a little subtitle as to like what um what bachelors they've been on before and his throughout the season… it like started out just listing all of them and then it was like Bachelor Nation elder and then it was like…
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: And then it was like hoping this is it
KAYLA: Oh my God, now they leaned into it huh?
SARAH: And then it was like last night when he um proposed… I got to look it up, I can't remember what it was, oh no, hold on, but anyway point being he like didn't seem as invested and I was like I think he's going to propose to prove he's invested and that's what happened
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Um but Bukowski, oh wait no he put it on his Instagram story
KAYLA: Oh my god
SARAH: It was… His last one, they referred to him as verified grown ass man
KAYLA: Oh my god
SARAH: It was amazing, anyway um but basically, they had different love languages and they knew that but they were having trouble kind of reconciling that aspect and so on the show she was like I feel like or like during the reunion thing she was like I feel like I’m putting so much in and like people tell me like how much he loves me but I feel like I’m not… and like he'll tell me but I’m not like getting that, like she's getting it verbally but not necessarily from his actions
[00:20:00]
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Um and so everyone was like girl you need to dump him like blah blah blah on social media which, social media is very entertaining when it comes to Bachelor things but not always right, um but according to their social media like they're doing a lot better now because that reunion was recorded a little bit ago, I’m not sure when but um…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And so, like they're doing much better now because they've like they've talked about it more and like the relationship seems to be going in a good direction now but it's just like they just… they display their love differently and so like seeing them have that discussion um and like seeing how they were both on different pages was like oh I can see how this would be a problem
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Okay, but also Dylan and Hannah are so fucking cute
KAYLA: Oh my god
SARAH: That is the one couple that everyone has been like rallying behind this whole time, Dylan is like this… the best way to describe him is he's like a cute little gummy bear
KAYLA: Oh my God Sarah
SARAH: And he was smitten with Hannah and then they got engaged and they're still engaged they're really happy and it's just so cute
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: But speaking of me finding that very cute I was also thinking the other day about and this is related to Bachelor kind of about how like I really like enjoy like the fact that I enjoyed watching like Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise was a surprise to a lot of people but like in hindsight I don't know that it's that much of a surprise because like I will fucking get real into some fan fiction like I…
KAYLA: Share some real big ships
SARAH: Real big ships. I love weddings, like I love love bitch which is like weird it's like it seems weird but like it's also just like the way things are and I was like how did I end up here?
KAYLA: I guess… I mean I’m just curious and I don't know if you've done enough like self-reflection…
SARAH: Oh, I have
KAYLA: For this, I… uh two questions I guess, is why do you think that you enjoy the Bachelor so much and two why do you love love so much?
SARAH: Why do I think I like the Bachelor so much because it's fucking entertaining, full stop.
KAYLA: Okay well yeah, I mean I know that but like…
SARAH: I don't know it just like I… it's interesting to see that kind of stuff and I think I don't know why I love love it so much, I think it's just like I like seeing people happy and like as I was thinking about this the other day… so the other day I stayed up till like two in the morning which I don't really do that much anymore so like this is amazing thing
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: Finishing this fan-fiction and I haven't even read fan fiction that much recently
KAYLA: Oh my God, that's like an ancient poll
SARAH: So, like it was really somewhat out of character or in character for like 2016 me but like not 2019 me and but I like really wanted to finish it was like 46 000 words, I was like I’m going to finish it, it was a fake dating trope just FYI
KAYLA: Yes, one of the best
SARAH: Um but I like stayed up late just because I wanted to finish it and I got to the end and I was just like feeling so much you know and I was getting ready for bed and I was like intentionally listening to love songs because like I wanted to stay in that headspace but not like in a sad way like a woe is me I’m never going to experience love way but a like a… I feel nice you know and I was like what the fuck? like I’m aro, what's happening and like here's the thing that I think like I… because I’m aro and I don't anticipate ever experiencing romantic love in my life like I kind of get to live vicariously through this stuff and like under because like obviously when things go well it makes people very happy, and like I like being able to understand that to the extent that I can um and also just like free fiction online fan fiction is so amazing anyway but um like and so it just kind of like hit me that like okay I just enjoy like understanding it and like it's not necessarily in a sad way like oh I’m never going to experience this it's more, I would call it melancholic if you will because it's like I… this is a really good story and I’m happy that these people are happy and I am glad that I can understand it even if it's just a little bit um and then I segued in my brain to thinking about like how I have those like insecurities about like feeling like I’m missing out on romantic love which I’ve mentioned on this podcast before and every time I’ve mentioned it I’m like I feel weirdly guilty about it because I’m like I’m evolved like I should be at the point where I…
KAYLA: Hey, don't should
SARAH: Don't should, well that is what I came to the conclusion um like I was thinking I was like I was wrongly shoulding and I was saying like I should be at the point where I don't like I should be past this like I shouldn't feel insecure about this anymore like I have a podcast I should be like an example…
KAYLA: I have a podcast
SARAH: I should be an example to my listeners and then I was like you know what here's the thing, I am always going to have these like insecurities about like missing out on romantic love but like that's fine, a big life update, who cares
KAYLA: I mean that's like kind of the game I feel like
SARAH: That's the game and like I was like I can be proud and confident in my romantic and sexual orientation and like still have these feelings and they might never go away and that's okay and like I might feel like alone in these feelings because so few people are statistically aro-ace but like that's fucking fine and I can watch my bachelor in paradise and I can stay up till 2 a.m. reading my fan fiction and enjoy it and like it's not wrong that I feel FOMO about romantic love it doesn't make me a bad aro
KAYLA: No, and I think like to the point of like you have a podcast like I think it's a better example for you to set that you're like facing that insecurity
SARAH: Yeah, and I’m being like I’m insecure about it but…
KAYLA: Like I’d rather you say that openly than like lie about it and for other people listening to be like oh well Sarah is so strong and she doesn't feel that way
SARAH: Yeah, and so it's like if the closest I ever get to understanding this is like when I’m like watching a wedding and being like I’m so happy for you or like immediately after reading a 46,000-word fan-fic at two in the morning or like stalking the Instagram stories of these people from bachelor in paradise and like feeling so happy for them like if that's the closest I’m going to get okay, also it's nice though because I don't have to feel the heartbreak aspect of romantic love
KAYLA: Yeah, that part really sucks
SARAH: It really seems awful, and so the fact that I can vicariously live through the happy part
KAYLA: I mean you've seen that though
SARAH: I have, I also sometimes you got to read some good angst, you know
KAYLA: That's fair, you got to understand all the parts
SARAH: You got to understand it all, but like I was just like listen that may be the closest I can get to understanding it uh like when I’m like purposefully listening to love songs at 2 in the morning after reading fan fiction but like so be it what the fuck tag yourself me
KAYLA: Oh okay, I’m curious
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because you've mentioned like weddings and like I’m not going to say everyone loves a wedding but like I love a wedding
SARAH: Many people love a wedding
KAYLA: Many people love a wedding, open bar hello
SARAH: And I don't even drink, I don't even care about the open bar, I just like weddings
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean besides an open bar I love a wedding, but anyway, but I’m curious because you've mentioned like fanfic and we know that you love a good like enemies to friends and like fake dating troll because don't we all?
SARAH: Don't we all?
KAYLA: And Bachelor but I’m curious about your thoughts on like other than weddings like irl love if you are like as interested in it I guess do you know what I’m asking?
SARAH: No, I don't know what you're asking
KAYLA: Okay because you're talking about like I really enjoy like watching Bachelor in Paradise and like living vicariously through that love or like reading fanfic and living through that love and I’m like other than a wedding, do you feel that way about like other irl like you seeing love in real life I guess
SARAH: Um I would say that I really hate PDA and that's not me being aro-ace that's me being who I am as a person um so like when I see PDA out of a context where I expect to see PDA or…
[00:30:00]
KAYLA: Where do you expect to see PDA?
SARAH: Like a wedding
KAYLA: I don’t care… I guess, yeah
SARAH: I mean like places where I view PDA to be appropriate is like you know obviously, you're going to see some people kiss if you go to a wedding like
KAYLA: Yeah, that’s fair
SARAH: Or like if… like if you're watching a tv show or like a rom-com or something and like they're going to like kiss probably
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like… but most of the time they're going to be kissing it's probably going to be like them by themselves and so it's not really PDA so I’m like this is fine
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: I’m just like watching your little love story through my screen, but… so I don't like PDA, so when I see it in real life outside of a context where it's like I find it acceptable it bothers me. I feel like… so that is a huge chunk of that question like I don't want to see your PDA like whatever but in terms of like just I like if people have like a strong relationship, it's like oh that's nice, it may make me feel a little more sad in person because I’m not… well, no because like I’m not living vicariously through you I’m just like watching you and standing over here by myself, you know
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean I guess it's more comfortable watching through a screen
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Than with your eyes or from the comfort of like the audience of a wedding?
SARAH: Yeah, and like you can like live more vicariously through it because if you're watching tv or a movie or reading fan fiction like you have the whole story or at least the whole story that's relevant to understanding things whereas like I don't know every single thing about like people in real life's relationships and like what they've been through
KAYLA: That's fair
SARAH: So, it's like I just have less context so I’m just like get your PDA out of here you know?
KAYLA: Mm, interesting
SARAH: That's the tea, but yeah that was actually surprisingly well articulated given the like brain splat of things and I didn't… I wrote a lot of them down they were not organized at all
KAYLA: I’m very proud
SARAH: So… and I really segued quite well, I’m proud of myself
KAYLA: Wow, why don't you just… yeah why don't you just compliment yourself for a while
SARAH: I will, well I’m not in a romantic relationship, I don't have a partner to do it for me
KAYLA: Um I mean I don't know that partners usually do that anyway
SARAH: You're doing great sweetie
KAYLA: Are you talking to yourself again?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Uh tldr, I find bachelor in paradise entertaining, I think it and fan fiction and kind of musicals a little bit but musicals are just everything so we won't worry about it, um I have taught me a lot about romantic love in a way that also I feel comfortable learning about it like… if like… because like as I said about how like my friends don't have these conversations in front of me like I don't want you to like I don't want to be a weird intrusive part of this like and so the fact that I can like watch it on the tv or read it on my computer at two in the morning like I feel more comfortable learning about it there because it's like I’m just existing as a fly on the wall rather than…
KAYLA: Well yeah because if you were actually…
SARAH: I’m in the middle of my friend's relationship right now
KAYLA: If you were actually there or even if someone like told you about it then you would have to worry about like what the correct response is
SARAH: Oh yeah and I’m horrible at that
KAYLA: But you can just respond however you want when you're watching tv
SARAH: Yeah, and like it might be kind of fake but…
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: I’m still learning
KAYLA: It's so wild to me I never thought about that
SARAH: Yeah. And like I might still… like I can still enjoy those things even though I’m aro and I may still sometimes continue to struggle with the fact that I’m aro and my allo-romantic friends may never make me… be able to make me feel better about it but like that's fine, it's fine
KAYLA: I mean I can just tell you all about all the bad things that have happened to me because of romantic relationships, will that make you feel better?
SARAH: No
KAYLA: But then…
SARAH: It'll just make me feel sad
KAYLA: Yeah, but then you'd know what…
SARAH: Yeah, but then I would be thinking about all the bad things that happened to you
KAYLA: Well
SARAH: You know
KAYLA: It's okay, I guess
SARAH: Stop that
KAYLA: I’m just trying to help
SARAH: Interesting, okay that's all I have to say, do you have anything to add?
KAYLA: Not really, I just… I really do find this very interesting I never thought about the fact that like how the fuck would you know what goes on in a relationship
SARAH: Yeah, I don't fucking know
KAYLA: Because like the only way you would know is if you're in one or if you like saw one or someone told you about it and like yeah who's going around talking about like I don't know I guess I talk about these conversations but I guess I don’t talk about them with you
SARAH: Yeah, because I don't like it
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean I don't yeah….
SARAH: Because also like people like… it's like how people who see unhealthy relationships are more likely to be in unhealthy relationships themselves because that's what has been modeled for them and so like in this sense, I’m kind of having romantic relationships modeled for me as to just like what they are and how they work like getting in the details of it and I’m like oh this makes sense now
KAYLA: Which is also why I feel like when people start dating when they're really young maybe their relationships don't work out as well because they're just going off what was modeled instead of like what actually works best for them
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And then as you get older you realize like I can kind of model it myself
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Wild
SARAH: Our poll for this week is, did you think Sarah would have this realization from Bachelor in Paradise? yes no?
KAYLA: Uh okay, did you think Sarah would learn how a romantic relationship works from bachelor in paradise?
SARAH: Everyone is going to say no
KAYLA: Yeah, because that's wild and like honestly, I’m like glad you're having this learning experience, do I necessarily want you to have had this from a Bachelor franchise show? no
SARAH: But like…
KAYLA: But I’m glad it has worked out
SARAH: But like I also saw unhealthy stuff on Bachelor and I think as much as it is kind of fake there are some relationships on this show that are like healthy and that are pure with a little tiny gummy bear Dylan
KAYLA: Well, I also like, I trust you as a person to understand how to interpret media
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like… and take it with a grain of salt, so
SARAH: I should hope so, I got a fucking film degree
KAYLA: That's fair
SARAH: But yeah, like I didn't expect to learn it from here either but here we are, so that's that. Okay, oh what is your beef and juice this week?
KAYLA: My beef and juice are basically the same, they like go together, okay my main beef slash juice is that I have a very big project at work and it's very exciting and basically, they're just letting me kind of run on my own and have a whole thing to myself which is wild because I’m a child who just started working
SARAH: Run Kayla, run
KAYLA: I am running, I’m running so fast so it's exciting but also scary so I guess that's my beef and my juice. my other juice is that um Patrick Jackson keeps tweeting us cow pictures from his vacation on twitter and they're all so wholesome and pure and I don't know where the fuck he is that he just every single day sees different cows
SARAH: Everyday new cows
KAYLA: I don't know that he ever told us where he is which is fair you probably shouldn't tell people on the internet where you are but like every day
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: There's one, they just… on his porch eating breakfast hello
SARAH: Beautiful. Truly beautiful, my beef is very specific and my juice is very broad
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: My juice is musical theater, nothing has changed about me, okay?
KAYLA: That was definitely your juice like recently
SARAH: It's like I’ve just been more specific about which musical theater, it's just like as a concept, it’s my juice.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: My beef is on… okay, on Instagram it…
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: When I watch people's stories, um if they add a new snap to their story my Instagram keeps making me rewatch the entire story instead of just the new snap
KAYLA: That's not right, mine doesn't do that
SARAH: Yeah, mine has been doing that, it's pretty annoying
KAYLA: You should fix that
SARAH: Major first world problem
KAYLA: Yeah, pretty much
SARAH: Oh, my other beef is that… well juice I got the giant weird cast splint thing off my arm
KAYLA: You never posted it for people to sign
SARAH: Sorry, uh beef is that I still… my hand is still…
KAYLA: Your hand looks nasty
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Your hand is green and looks like it could be oozing at any second
SARAH: Yeah, and I can't really bend it, it hurts
[00:40:00]
KAYLA: It's honestly horrifying looking to be honest
SARAH: But I’m… I can like type now which is great
KAYLA: Does it hurt to type?
SARAH: To type? No
KAYLA: That's wild because it looks like it'd be painful to do anything
SARAH: Um, I basically have to keep it in a straight line, I can twist it sideways now but I can't…
KAYLA: So gross
SARAH: I can't go forward or backward it hurts
KAYLA: It's very gross
SARAH: But you know, you got to do what you got to do. Okay, if you want to convey to us your shock about my epiphanies via bachelor in paradise or if you want to see Patrick Fairdeary's cows
KAYLA: Or to get our merch
SARAH: Or to get our merch
KAYLA: So, I can pay my rent and also, I need your money so I can buy my own merch
SARAH: Yeah, we still do…
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: I mean we don't have to pay the money that goes to us, but we do have to pay for the actual product
KAYLA: We sure do, anyway
SARAH: Yeah, you know um @soundsfakepod everywhere designedbyhumans.com/shop/soundsfakepod, I wish we had a better…
KAYLA: I mean if you go to our website, it's under the shop
SARAH: It's under shop, I was hoping that if you went to soundsfakepod.com/shop it would work but it didn't
KAYLA: Yeah, I know it's really annoying how that works
SARAH: Ripperoni, all right well @soundsfakepod everywhere, we also have a patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Our $2 patrons are Keith McBlaine, Roxanne, AliceisinSpace, Anonymous, Mariah Walter, Jonathan, Christopher T. Verdieri, Patrick Jackson, Andrew Yang, Nini, and Courtney Jones. Our $5 patrons are Jennifer Smart, Asthritha Vinnakota, Austin Le, Drew Finney, Perry Fiero, my aunt Jeannie, Dee, Megan Rowell, Quinn Pollock, Emily Collins, Tim, Ryan Lucietti, Book Marvel, and Karmahamnaha, that's changeling mx by the way.
KAYLA: Oh, um mine is… oh no I want to say it backwards but I’m not prepared.
SARAH: Prepare for next week. Our $10 patrons are Kevin and Tessa @dirtyunclekevin and @tessa_m_k, Arcness who'd like to promote the Trevor Project, Benjamin Ibarra who'd like to promote Tabletop games, Anonymous who'd like to promote the Halloween, Sarah McCoy who would like to promote podcasts from a planet weird. Our $15 patrons are Nathaniel White and NathanielJWhitedesigns.com, my mom Julie who would like to promote free mom hugs, Sarah Jones @eternallolly, and dragonfly. What is dragonfly promoting this week? Since…
KAYLA: They're promoting…
SARAH: Since they didn't tell us anything so we're just…
KAYLA: Yeah, they're promoting the girl that did the tweet that was like what musicals sound like
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Read another one
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That's a video of what people sound like when they are like saying something that's like… oh what's the word? like an unpopular opinion and it's a video of her making fun of people who do that and it's honestly gold
SARAH: Have I seen that video? You bet you
KAYLA: So, she's… uh dragonfly is promoting that video
SARAH: I love how we're just putting words in dragonfly's mouth
KAYLA: Well, um yes
SARAH: We'll only put non-controversial things in your mouth dragonfly. Thank you for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears
KAYLA: And until then take good care of your cows
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