Hey what's up hello! Since we had the honor of being on Bacon and Eggs: A Movie Lover's Podcast this week, we wanted to keep with the movie theme! For some reason, Hollywood feels the need to stick romantic B plots into every movie even when they don't make sense. Today we come up with some alternate B plots that writers can stick into every movie.
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/things-to-put-in-movies-other-than-romance
Check out our episode of Bacon and Eggs: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hunger-games-mockingjay-pt-2-featuring-sounds-fake/id1291110514?i=1000479524572
Donate: patreon.com/soundsfakepod
Follow: @soundsfakepod
Join: https://discord.gg/W7VBHMt
Buy our book: www.soundsfakepod.com/book
Hey what's up hello! Since we had the honor of being on Bacon and Eggs: A Movie Lover's Podcast this week, we wanted to keep with the movie theme! For some reason, Hollywood feels the need to stick romantic B plots into every movie even when they don't make sense. Today we come up with some alternate B plots that writers can stick into every movie.
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/things-to-put-in-movies-other-than-romance
Check out our episode of Bacon and Eggs: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hunger-games-mockingjay-pt-2-featuring-sounds-fake/id1291110514?i=1000479524572
Donate: patreon.com/soundsfakepod
Follow: @soundsfakepod
Join: https://discord.gg/W7VBHMt
Buy our book: www.soundsfakepod.com/book
[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace is girl I'm Sarah that's me
KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl that's me Kayla
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand
KAYLA: On today's episode, romance in movies
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay
[Intro Music]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: I wanted to say like m’eggs, but like that's not… I mean Meg is a word
SARAH: What about m’arch m’arch by the band formerly known as the Dixie Chicks
KAYLA: We can do that
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: It's just not in the mind
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Oh, man. Hi Kayla
KAYLA: Hi, Sarah. I haven’t talked to you or recorded a podcast with you in so long
SARAH: It has been, what? 16 hours?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Since we last recorded a podcast
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, for those of you who don't already know we were guests on The Bacon and Eggs… It's called Bacon and Eggs: A Movie Lovers Podcast, this week, we talked about Hunger Games Mocking Jay Part Two
KAYLA: But really, we talked about how Katniss is super aro-ace, we just went on about it.
SARAH: We talked about how Katniss is super aro-ace, we spoiled literally every major franchise
KAYLA: It was a good time
SARAH: But it was a very good time. So, hit up that and follow Bacon and Eggs on the internet. They're lovely people
KAYLA: Yeah, they're very nice people, go be friends. Apparently a ton of our listeners already are also their listeners and there's like this huge crossover we didn't know about so join that I guess
SARAH: Join that. And at least one of the hosts of Bacon and Eggs is in our discord, so…
KAYLA: Yeah, he has been chilling
SARAH: Just be a part of it.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: With that said, Kayla what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: Well, we wanted to stay on theme with movies for anyone that is joining us from Bacon and Eggs, we wanted to make this a smooth transition for you as you join us
SARAH: Smooth, that is out of my brain
KAYLA: A smooth brain, oh no. So, something we talked about in the Bacon and Eggs podcast I guess spoilers if you haven't listened to it yet, maybe pause, go listen to it, come back. Maybe just listen to ours and then listen to theirs. Make sure you come back though. I want your listen. I want those stats? Anyway, something we talked about or I ranted about was how like all movies feel the need to have this like romantic plotline kind of like chilling in the background and I was like listen, I am a hopeless romantic person, I do love a romance story and so does Sarah like Sarah has her ships, but…
SARAH: And a good romance subplot is totally chill. We…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: We love it. But when it's… when it feels forced is what we have beef with
KAYLA: Yeah, what I beef with is that it sometimes feels forced and that for some reason like writers and directors are like, well, there's this perfectly fine action movie but oh we forgot that love plotline going to put it in last minute like you… it would just be better if you didn't.
SARAH: Yeah, like they feel like they must include it in any given movie or any given book or any given series for it to be good or successful and I think that's bullshit.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's simply not true. So, today I pitched to Sarah that we talk about what we can do alternatively, if Hollywood feels the need for there to be one plotline that's in every movie I guess that's fine like maybe don't do that, but we'll give them a slow transition as well out of it and we'll just give them something that's not romance.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, we're going to be trying to figure out the perfect plotline, background plotline that can be in every movie that isn't romance
SARAH: That isn't romance, exactly. And you know, I think the thing about romance that a lot of people find compelling is you know, it's relationships, you know, but the other plotlines… why is your phone making so much noise?
KAYLA: I’m sorry, my computer, I was trying to turn off notifications on my computer and then it made more noise as I tried to get it to shut up
SARAH: Oh, no.
KAYLA: I’m sorry
SARAH: Um, I forgot what I was saying
KAYLA: Relationships
SARAH: Relationships, you can have plenty of interesting things that happen with relationships that aren't romantic. Let me just start us off with that segue, a plotline that all movies could have as a secondary… as a B plot is a character discovers that they have a secret identical twin that they didn't know about
KAYLA: That's good
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And mind you this of course will have nothing to do with plot A
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Because plot B… romance plot B somehow never has to do with the real plot of the movie. So, neither will this, it will just be completely in the background making no sense
SARAH: It may overlap vaguely, but it'll be like oh look there's this character that like happens to look like me. It doesn't have anything to do with the other plot, but uh… wait, are we twins?
KAYLA: It will not move the story along at all
SARAH: No
KAYLA: It just is there
SARAH: Yeah, it is there
KAYLA: I think my first suggestion is that a background character, a side character will appear halfway through the movie and everyone will act like they've been there the whole time but you as the viewer are like they haven't
SARAH: So, it's the room, essentially The Room effect?
KAYLA: Yes, but every movie
SARAH: Yes, but every movie… honestly if every movie were a little bit more like The Room
KAYLA: I think we could all sleep better.
SARAH: We could all sleep better.
KAYLA: Has Bacon and Eggs covered The Room?
SARAH: Oh my god. Do we need to go back?
KAYLA: If they have not, I’m demanding I come back, let me look it up
SARAH: The room is a glorious, glorious movie, although I feel like…
KAYLA: If they haven’t, I’ll be shocked
SARAH: If all movies are more like the room I might explode
KAYLA: I don’t think they have. Hold on.
SARAH: Oh, Kayla is really going to look this one up?
KAYLA: I’m coming back
SARAH: I’m coming back to talk about The Room
KAYLA: I also…
SARAH: I mean…
KAYLA: I don't think they have, I also want to go back to talk about cats because… Dumpster fire anyway
SARAH: But you won't let me talk about Stick It?
KAYLA: I said you could go talk about Stick It without me, I just wouldn't be on that episode. Anyway, this episode is really just a pitch for us going back on Bacon and Eggs.
SARAH: That's… yep. That's it
KAYLA: If you’re listening to this and you listen to Bacon and Eggs go tweet them that we're coming back, we are just permanent guests now, it's a four-person podcast now, sorry
SARAH: We are… shown up
KAYLA: Yes, I think someone just shows up halfway through
SARAH: Okay, I think another option is a character like a… like a telemarketer shows up and is like you owe $40,000 of fill-in-the-blank type of debt…
KAYLA: That’s a tax collector, that's not a telemarketer.
SARAH: I'm aware
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: But I mean like… I mean like a scammer
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: That’s what I mean
KAYLA: Like one of those people that emails you and is like can you go buy me some gift cards?
SARAH: Yes, but because this is a film it needs more visual so they need to show up
KAYLA: That's fair
SARAH: Um and they show up and they're like you owe $40,000 and they just like keep annoying this person and they're just like can you… like I know like I have other debt, it's separate. I'm paying that off right now or like you have $40,000 of car debt and it's like I've never owned a car like, you know, it's just… they're just kind of annoying them the whole time
KAYLA: They just keep coming up to the main character and the main character is like this is a Rom-com just kidding.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That’s not what we're doing, this is a murder mystery, please. I'm trying to solve a murder
SARAH: Please, I'm trying to solve a murder I don't even own a car
KAYLA: Please
SARAH: I didn't go to college. How would I have college debt?
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: I think my next suggestion also has to do with murder.
KAYLA: I think… because I love a good murder mystery, I love a good true crime so I think there should just be like a really dramatic murder in the middle of every movie and like you as the watcher will be like, we should be focusing on this more but all of the characters are like, it's fine don't… we'll get back to the real plot.
SARAH: Is it a murder of like a major character?
KAYLA: Like a… like a side character but like you definitely notice it and they talk about it in the movie being like a very dramatic bad murder but then everyone just seems to move on
SARAH: Okay, you know what that made me think of? It's a quote from Knives Out that I recently ran across on the internet where… what's his face? The detective, he goes, “it makes no damn sense, compels me though.” I'm like, that's me, that's my dumbass brain not understanding a single thing, that's me
KAYLA: See, that's like me about you though, like it… you make no sense to me, but you do compel me
SARAH: Nice, I'm compelling
KAYLA: Nice
SARAH: Oh, no. Now I'm just thinking about getting stressed about Animal Crossing again
[00:10:00]
KAYLA: Yeah, me and Sarah had a long text today about how Sarah… and I mean I get stressed out by Animal Crossing too, it has literally made me sweat before, but…
SARAH: I get… I'm the kind of person where when I'm faced with the decision I freeze and I don't make any decisions
KAYLA: Sarah couldn't even plant flowers in Animal Crossing for a while because… And I was like you can literally dig them up and put them anywhere else and she simply could not
SARAH: Yeah, no, and I would say as a general rule you are a more anxious person than I am but when faced with decisions...
KAYLA: Yeah, it skyrockets
SARAH: Even if they don't matter it really just… we just flip right around and I'm like, I don't know, I don’t know
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, you know, there's that. Anyway, um I think another option could be just like a sinkhole just somewhere… Some sort of location that you go to multiple times in this film there's just a bit of a sinkhole problem and they just kind of have to deal with that on the side
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: What's that movie the one where Emma Watson, it's an apocalyptic movie and Emma Watson has a bat and she's swinging it and they're like it's Hermione Granger and it's like those people
KAYLA: Yeah, I know what you’re talking about…
SARAH: The 21 Jump Street people
KAYLA: Yeah, I know what you're talking about, but I don't know the name of it
SARAH: That movie, has a sinkhole in it
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: I just thought of that. You know what else has a sinkhole? The Good Place
KAYLA: You know, what has a lot of holes is Holes
SARAH: Holes. Yeah, that's true.
KAYLA: The movie Holes.
SARAH: Well, because the first suggestion Kayla texted to me was uh, just dig holes
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And I was like that's just the plot of Holes
KAYLA: Yeah, but consider if it was like a B plot like action movie, action movie, we're shooting people, we're fighting but in the background there's just like a lot of people digging holes and they never explain it
SARAH: And it’s like, what are you digging the holes for? like are you going to put something in them? We’re just digging
KAYLA: But they like never even ask but like the thing is they don't even ask
SARAH: Yeah, it's what the audience asks
KAYLA: Right
SARAH: But there is no explanation within the canon.
KAYLA: No, it's just like super… always happening
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Well…
SARAH: I think that's good.
KAYLA: What if a background one was that there was just like a really big snake that was like terrorizing the area but it was also…
SARAH: Like Godzilla snake?
KAYLA: A little smaller than that
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Like really big for a snake but not like monster-sized but like…
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: It is like going…
SARAH: Like a human-sized snake?
KAYLA: Yeah, and it is like slithering around town killing people but that is not the point of this family drama we're adopting a child and we love God very much Christian movie there just happens to be. Well, no because then we get into some like biblical things
SARAH: Yeah, I was going to say a lot of those like Christian movies they have a lot of biblical
KAYLA: Never mind, it's not a family drama Christian movie. It's like a teen pregnancy movie, but there's also a snake
SARAH: Also, a snake
KAYLA: Eating everyone
SARAH: Um have you seen that video that's recently been going around of how that one snake trying to slither? But it's like on something super slippery and it can't go anywhere. So, it's like he's on a treadmill?
KAYLA: No
SARAH: I've seen that.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Uh, I think another option where… I'm going to stay on the snake front
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Another option could be a snake um keeps biting people but the venom turns out to be orange juice and it's like… people are like, oh no something bad is going to happen to me and then they're like wait, why does it smell like orange juice? And like that…
KAYLA: See, this seems like a main plot though
SARAH: As I was saying it did… It did seem to grow more important
KAYLA: Well, what kind of movie do you think that would be a B plot for? paint me a picture
SARAH: A rom-com
KAYLA: Okay. All right. So, like they're on their first date…
SARAH: Like we don't… we don't need a romantic subplot in this Rom-com, the subplot in the rom-com is a snake that's venom is orange juice
KAYLA: So, they're like on their first date, they’re about to have their first kiss and then one of them gets bitten by the snake and they're like, “oh my God, you're going to die,” but then like it's just orange juice.
SARAH: It's just orange juice. Yeah
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: And I think that could apply to other non-romantic movies as well if we want to avoid romance entirely, I think that's also a possibility.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like if it's just like a…
KAYLA: You could always have an orange juice snake
SARAH: Yeah, if it's just like a Family drama as you said earlier maybe about adopting a child this not Christian at all just you know, just a couple adopting a child
KAYLA: In fact, it would be a an atheist movie.
SARAH: Oh, would it be atheist or agnostic?
KAYLA: Actually, I think it would be um, what's it called? What are the people that worship the devil called?
SARAH: Satanists?
KAYLA: Yeah, they're Satanists, but they don't really want to be…
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: The devil, they’re Satanists. Have you ever read up on Satanists though? They're actually like pretty rad
SARAH: Not really
KAYLA: Like they don't actually… like the point of it isn't to worship Satan it's to like break radical barriers like they're usually very diverse and like they just want to say like separation of church and state like…
SARAH: Nice
KAYLA: They're not actually like scary at all they're just like democrats
SARAH: Did you know that the quakers are really woke?
KAYLA: Who?
SARAH: The quakers
KAYLA: Uh, I did not know that
SARAH: They’re very woke. Well, I've told you that before…
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: So, listen better.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Honestly, I think I said it on the podcast.
KAYLA: Well, I’m sure someone will tell us
SARAH: Uh anyway, uh, was that me?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Now, it's your turn
KAYLA: It is. Uh, so I think a good… this would… I don't even know if this would be a subplot or just kind of the background of the whole movie. I think this could be like a fast and furious action type of movie um, but it does all take place underwater but it's not like they're mermaids and they do not ever address it. It just happens to be where it's set. Like nothing mythical about the movie at all. Not a fantasy movie just underwater
SARAH: Okay. Yeah, good. I think another great option would be we're talking uh for this concept. It's an indie movie. It's a very slow understated, very um Italian neo-realist in its approach.
KAYLA: I know those words, sure
SARAH: Yeah, it's just things happening. Like there's not much of a plot. It's just things happening that's just the movie but then in the background like the Tardis keeps coming in and out and it's like, huh? That's interesting. But like the person getting on and off isn't any of the doctors that we recognize so is it like is this someone else has stolen the Tardis? Is this a companion? Is this just another doctor? are we on 14 now? That's just kind of like happening in the background while there are like some children just like riding bikes around town
KAYLA: Hmm, uh my next concept let's see if a couple… I have a couple rolling around my brain which one should I…
SARAH: I have none. They're all just coming straight out of my mouth.
KAYLA: Well, I just thought of like two at once. Okay, I think… here's my first one I'm going to say it's uh, like a very old-timey medieval fantasy, you know Game of Thrones era, I guess you got your dragons, your princesses, whatever, but then there's the subplot about this guy that has like a tech job with Apple and oh he hates his job, oh my God, what a drag
SARAH: Yeah. What a drag
KAYLA: And that's the whole just like the side character that really hates his job being an IT guy with Apple
SARAH: Yeah, no, I can… I can see that absolutely happening. Um, I think another subplot would just be someone's headphones keep breaking and they don't know why they just keep like replacing them or getting them repaired but what the audience knows that the person doesn't know is that it's actually a ghost that's breaking all of their headphones, but they're just like oh my I'm cursed my headphones are breaking and it's just like a thing that just kind of happens and it just kind of gets in the way but as an audience, we know that it's a ghost who's purposefully breaking their headphones.
KAYLA: I see. So, like no one else sees the ghost though?
SARAH: No, just the audience
KAYLA: Huh, that's a good one because it's just like… there has just been a ghost this whole time and we're not going to address it?
SARAH: Right, like the audience is able to see it because we're like… it would be a situation where like the point of view is omniscient right? So, we see everything that the characters don't see um, and we can be like hey, hey, there's a ghost who keeps chucking your air pods in the river but, you know, they don't know that
KAYLA: Huh? Um, my next one. Did you ever see Uncut Gems?
SARAH: No
KAYLA: I didn't like it. It was a very… I don't even know what to equate it to maybe like an Italian mob movie I don't know. It was very serious like people gambling a lot and having sex and like Adam Sandler being like crazy and like mob shit, I guess so I guess I would…
SARAH: Uncut Gem?
KAYLA: Yeah. No, there was like a literal uncut gem. Don't worry about it. So, I think a movie like that or like an Italian mob movie um but like one of the background characters like suddenly in the middle of a movie gets like magical powers…
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: But like it is not, it is not addressed
SARAH: It is not addressed. It just like they start using the magical powers to like help out but like in a super like low-key way. Is that…
[00:20:00]
KAYLA: Yeah. No, it's like… no, it's like pretty big
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: Like they have this little transformation and they're like I can fly now but like and I’m going to be a superhero so now all of a sudden there's like a superhero in the middle of this like gritty mob movie
SARAH: See that seems a little bit like an A-plot to me
KAYLA: No, it is the B plot. It's like one of the… It's like one of the backgrounds like one of the sidekick like henchmen of this mob man
SARAH: I think for that to be B plot it needs to be a little more understated like maybe their superpowers are that they can like telekinesis, but they can only lift stuff like six inches off the ground or like you know like it's a siren
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. They can do a siren noise whenever they want
SARAH: They can do it… Yeah, actually we'll be keeping that one in. Yeah, they can do when they open their mouth
KAYLA: Oh my god, that's they can't talk anymore. They just open their mouth and it's sirens?
SARAH: Yeah, like the Greek myth sirens, but uh with the sound of sirens and there's also like a European siren mode where you can switch it on
KAYLA: Oh, there is a little switch?
SARAH: Yeah, yeah, yeah
KAYLA: That’s handy
SARAH: And I'm, not sure what other sirens sound like in other parts of the world but if uh, if any of them are different those can also be options.
KAYLA: Yeah, there's just a whole little button area where you can pick?
SARAH: What else could… what else could be done?
KAYLA: I think that a B plot that every movie should have is that there's a drought and everything turns to desert
SARAH: What if that is the A-plot though?
KAYLA: If it's the A-plot and the A-plot? then you're going to have a lot of desert. I don't know what to tell you that my God
SARAH: A lot of drought
KAYLA: Everything is going to be super dry
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: It's like a desert down there, it’s so sandy
KAYLA: Don't quote our musical from six years ago
SARAH: I'm quoting your character not mine.
KAYLA: That's fair.
SARAH: Um, I also forgot what I was going to say
KAYLA: What if… There's a background character that like every minute of the movie gets like one inch taller
SARAH: Good, excellent, but not like a child, like this is like a fully grown adult.
KAYLA: No, it's a full grown, already pretty tall man
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Uh, he just keeps getting bigger
SARAH: He just keeps growing. Um, I also love the concept of uh every single screen that we ever see in this movie, TV screen, phone screen um anything is playing the Bee movie.
KAYLA: This is very good
SARAH: But it's never addressed. It’s never addressed
KAYLA: Because it's a B plot
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: This is very good
SARAH: I saw a thing on the internet today. I don't know how true it is, but where Netflix found out that someone had watched the Bee movie like basically once a day for an entire year
KAYLA: Good
SARAH: And they were like what? and apparently according to this story they literally contacted the person they were like, what?
KAYLA: Are you okay?
SARAH: And I guess she had a baby that really liked the Bee movie
KAYLA: That's so cute
SARAH: And it was like the only thing that would like calm it down. And so she was just forced to just watch it on loop
KAYLA: Man, she must have that whole thing memorized. I saw a thing on the internet where this girl was like, yeah when I was a kid I watched Shrek so often that I had the whole…
SARAH: But she has it memorized it?
KAYLA: No, she…
SARAH: She has… I… sorry, I said she has it memorized it and that's not…
KAYLA: I thought you said she hasn’t. So, she has it… she had it memorized where she could just sit in a room alone and she would call it like just watching the entire movie in her head so she would just like be sitting there with her eyes closed watching Shrek in her head and her dad would be like what are you doing watching Shrek again? And she'd be like, yeah, I’m at this part like…
SARAH: Yeah, I'm…
KAYLA: Fucking wild
SARAH: I… uh me and my sister watched a lot of Mary Poppins as a child to the point that when my sister was like three or four, she could say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and it was like… it was like her party trick
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: Like I’m a three-year-old child and I can say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. No, just living life
KAYLA: I think that there is a person similar to my tall idea that in every scene they're in they put on another sweater by the end of the movie, they're just real bulky
SARAH: Yeah. Yeah, that's good I think maybe uh there should be a character who they're… they don't grow but their pants get shorter every day and then by the end they're wearing like short shorts
KAYLA: Like the old-school basketball shorts?
SARAH: Yeah, or like, you know a classic daisy duke like it doesn't really matter just they have to be really short and it's the same pair of pants. It's not like they're changing pants like it's just the same pair of pants the entire time um, and also like takes place in like the dead of winter in like…
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: In like Colorado
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: So, like they're you know, they dealing with it um, but they just don't address it and they're just like yeah, this is a… This is just a thing
KAYLA: And they don't even seem… they don't even seem cold at all, like they seem unbothered
SARAH: Right, exactly like those guys in high school who wear shorts year-round
KAYLA: Oh my God, just because they were like…
SARAH: Yeah, for those of…
KAYLA: Your personality
SARAH: You who are not from somewhere where there's like a real winter um and I guess if you went to like a school with uniforms, this wouldn't be the case but uh Kayla and I both had the experience where there was always like one or two guys in high school who refused to wear long pants, even if it was like negative 10 degrees Fahrenheit
KAYLA: Just like it…
SARAH: Which is… which is not that far off from negative 10 degrees Celsius just for some context
KAYLA: Do you remember Sarah short shorts guy from college?
SARAH: I sure do.
KAYLA: Did he wear shorts in the winter, too?
SARAH: I think I saw him wearing shorts a couple of times in the winter. I do think I occasionally saw him in pants
KAYLA: He wore some short shorts.
SARAH: He did wear some short shorts. He really did
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Oh, short shorts guy. Um, I think another B plot that could happen is that the main character has a pet but the type of pet just keeps changing.
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: So, like it's a cat. It's a dog. It's a rabbit. It's a turtle and like it's a bird but like it has the same name the entire time but the variety of pet it is just keeps changing
KAYLA: And it just gets weirder and weirder the whole movie
SARAH: Yeah, like, you know bearded dragon and we're going to go for a… can you keep a jellyfish?
KAYLA: I don't think I would advise it
SARAH: You would need a really big tank.
KAYLA: I don't think I would
SARAH: You'd need a big ass fucking tank. But you know…
KAYLA: Like a lion suddenly it becomes Tiger King
SARAH: Yeah, suddenly it's we're talking to our cool cats and kittens
KAYLA: I think… Thinking of tiger king that a good plot would be that like slowly all of the background characters just keep getting mullets. Like one side character gets a mullet then the next scene another one does and of course, it's just never addressed
SARAH: Alternatively, say it's a period film that takes place in like the Elizabethan era, every single character has a mullet.
KAYLA: Yes good
SARAH: And it's just not explained like, you know how when you go back and you watch lame is the 2012 movie like at the time you didn't realize how 2012…
KAYLA: Oh my God, Eddy Redman’s hair is so…
SARAH: Eddy Redman’s haircut was, but like now when you look back on it you're like holy fuck his hair is so 2012
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: It's like that but like every single character, you know
KAYLA: I like it
SARAH: Yeah, I don't know if that's so much of a B plot is just a feature, but
KAYLA: Yeah, I don’t know that a lot of these are actual B plots
SARAH: A lot of these are just features
KAYLA: So much is just things happening in the background that aren't romance
SARAH: Yeah. We support it.
KAYLA: Yes, anything but romance. Am I right ladies?
SARAH: Anything but romance. Anything but forced romance.
KAYLA: Yes, consensual romance… Consent between the audience and the movie but there is… See no….
SARAH: As well as the parties involved
KAYLA: See this is… I feel like as though this is a good way of saying it, that sometimes you go to a movie and you do not consent to their being of romantic plot in it, you think you're just going to see like Fast and Furious people shooting each other when I went into this, I did not consent to watching people make out or have yeah sexual relations.
SARAH: Yeah, or like somewhat different but a similar idea is Oceans 8, I don't think there's a romantic plotline in that but the movie itself is just chock-full of gay subtext, but you know that going in
[00:30:00]
KAYLA: Well, yeah, it’s eight women. Of course, there's going to be gay subtext
SARAH: It's like I've seen the trailer, I understand the gay vibes that are happening here
KAYLA: You look at the people that they cast and you're like, of course…
SARAH: Kate Blanchett
KAYLA: Like hello, gay
SARAH: But you know that's something that at least you expect going in right?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Whereas if it's just like I guess some people might say that if you're going in to see a Fast and Furious movie and it's like Megan Fox wearing no clothes. Like… is she in fast and furious?
KAYLA: I don't think so.
SARAH: It doesn’t matter
KAYLA: Did you hear that when she auditioned for Transformers, she was 15 and the director made her like dance around in a bikini as part of her audition?
SARAH: Ew
KAYLA: Horrifying
SARAH: That’s gross
KAYLA: Terrible.
SARAH: Ugh, anyway, imagine you're going to see like an action movie and it's like all men and then like Megan Fox wearing no clothes and it's like I guess you might assume that there's going to be a subplot there, but like…
KAYLA: Yeah. I mean, I guess when I went into Transformers and I saw like okay, we have young Shia LaBeouf and this like really attractive Megan Fox. I guess I have to assume but I didn't…
SARAH: But we shouldn't have to
KAYLA: But I shouldn't have to and I don't want to
SARAH: It needs to be natural in the course of the story. You shouldn't go into a movie and say oh those two people are young and hot they're definitely going to fuck by the end, like you should go into a movie and say oh look those two people have really good chemistry like, you know
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like it should be a natural thing not like we're shooting guns and oh wait horny
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Anyway
KAYLA: I had a thing and I forgot
SARAH: Whose turn is it even?
KAYLA: Who's to say?
SARAH: Who's to say. I think another great… Oh, a great great subplot is that some of the side characters are just really involved with get out the vote efforts and they're just you know, they're registering people to vote they're pushing legislation that uh that inhibits voter suppression, uh, so that people's votes, uh have more weight, they're just like they really support democracy and that's just like their side hustle
KAYLA: I like that. I think a good side hustle is a good B plot, maybe some side characters are podcasters, maybe the main characters are podcasters, but it has nothing to do with anything in the movie
SARAH: Nothing to do… Like maybe they're like trying to solve a mystery that has to do with…
KAYLA: I already did this I already did this one
SARAH: It's like a fantasy. I’m saying… Okay, fine, maybe it's a sports movie
KAYLA: Ooh, a sports movie is a good one to throw some B plots at
SARAH: And they're trying to win the championship. Okay?
KAYLA: Plot A
SARAH: They need to win the title their team has come in last for 15 years in a row and now this is their chance and on the side they have a podcast about hedgehogs
KAYLA: Perfect
SARAH: They just like to talk about hedgehogs
KAYLA: Because see you could... here's… This is I think a perfect example of what we're doing in this episode a lot of sports movies though like head dude in the football team is like in love with the cheerleader and the coach is like you're getting distracted, like you can't go out with her anymore
SARAH: Or like the girl next door
KAYLA: Yeah, and the coach is like no girls like we're going for the championship but this time the coach is like stop podcasting about hedgehogs. We're trying to win the championship
SARAH: Stop taking pictures of your hedgehog for your hedgehogstagram
KAYLA: Hedgehogstagram, oh, that's very good.
SARAH: You know
KAYLA: Oh, I have one, what if it's… let's see, what kind of movie should this be? I want to say fantasy, but I need there to be a phone available
SARAH: It can be like a uh a real-world with fantastical elements.
KAYLA: Okay, that's true. It's a modern fantasy and we're trying to fight some monsters where you know things are happening…
SARAH: A monster named Barb, perhaps
KAYLA: Sure, and it's Barb from the upside down. She comes back as a monster
SARAH: Ooh
KAYLA: And you're really trying to fight it but your parents meanwhile are going through this like really nasty divorce and your mom keeps calling you to complain about your dad and like it's just this whole… This whole background... I guess this is anti-romance, huh? I guess, I didn't do it right.
SARAH: I mean, I guess but I mean I guess I mean it could be a situation where it's like, you know that your parents need to get divorced like, you know, it's the right call, but your mom just like keeps calling you
KAYLA: She just like needs to vent to someone and you're like I’m in the middle of a fight mom
SARAH: Like she needs to vent or she's like I’m so sorry this is happening to you and you're like dude, I know this is the right decision. Like I understand
KAYLA: And also, I’m going to need to hang up because I am about to kill Barb
SARAH: Not Barb from stranger things, a different Barb
KAYLA: A different Barb
SARAH: Made out of barbed wire.
KAYLA: Oh, okay
SARAH: Called Barb.
KAYLA: Uh-huh
SARAH: Anyway, I think another option is um, oh, here's a good one, there's all these things happening and then just like on the side as a hobby the main characters are like watching a new series or reading a new series of books and they're like really into it and so they just like discuss a whole other story just like on the side. Maybe they have like a Tumblr dedicated to it. Like they're just like fangirling or Fan-humaning out on the side and it's just like a thing they did maybe they write some fan fiction, but it has nothing to do with the main plot of the story
KAYLA: Yeah, it's like the opposite genre of the actual story, but they keep telling the plot of this whole other story
SARAH: Yeah. It… and you think maybe like oh is this going to interweave somehow are there parallels? No, no, there are none
KAYLA: I'm trying to come up with a B plot about like future seeing… like seeing the future and telling a fortune
SARAH: That's So Raven
KAYLA: That's the A-plot
SARAH: I guess
KAYLA: Maybe there's like a side character that like keeps seeing what's going to happen in the future but like no one is listening to them and they're like, okay… I just told you this was going to happen
SARAH: Yeah, that's okay. Good. I just thought political drama
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: But it takes place on a boat and they're all pirates but like that's… it's never really discussed, like the political drama is really just about the politics in this community and the political disagreements are not about boat related things like it's not about…
KAYLA: Yeah, but like they are all trying to be like the captain or something?
SARAH: No, I think they're just having like disagreements on like laws
KAYLA: So, they're not like trying to run for an office it's not that kind of political?
SARAH: No, it's like you have like two representatives who are just like really just disagreeing on some fundamental issues that are completely not boat-related, they're just like social issues maybe?
KAYLA: So, the B plot is like sometimes they go and like steal stuff as pirates do?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Who are they trying to vote for though like?
SARAH: What do you mean?
KAYLA: I'm just trying to figure out like what a political affiliation a pirate would have
SARAH: Well, they have their own parties. They're pirates
KAYLA: See, so I think… I feel like that makes it not a B plot if like the parties are depending on the fact that they're pirates
SARAH: You're right, okay, some of them are democrats and some of them are Republicans,
KAYLA: Okay. They're just fighting about the upcoming election, but also sometimes they go and like yeah steal shit?
SARAH: Yeah, they're just like I… like abortion should be legalized and then the other ones are like no and then they're like wait we got to stop to go get this treasure
KAYLA: Interesting. Okay.
SARAH: Yeah, I think a nice… I don't even know this is a B plot just like one of the characters is a deer and it's like it's not a…
KAYLA: It’s not a B plot. It’s not
SARAH: It's not like fantastical. It's not animated. It's just a talking deer.
KAYLA: Hmm
SARAH: Not a B plot, but interesting to think about, just consider that guys.
KAYLA: I think a good B plot is that you know how we all have like a childhood stuffed animal or something I know your sister Sarah has bunny.
SARAH: Bunny, I had baby in blanket.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. I think I had… I don't know what I had. Anyway, so I think the main character like loses their blanket slash stuffed animal and let’s see, what kind of movie is this? I keep going back to like hard-hitting action movies because I think they're funny ones to throw this kind of B plot in but like action…
SARAH: I think… I think also like action and like fantasy stuff is also the stuff where you're most likely to have an unnatural feeling romance story
KAYLA: That's very true
SARAH: Because there's so much focus on the hard plot and like what's going on that a lot of times if not done deftly the romantic plots just feel so forced.
[00:40:00]
KAYLA: That's true. Okay, so we got our hard-hitting action movie Liam Neeson is trying to do whatever but like he has super lost his teddy bear and so they'll just be like scenes of him like combing through his house like ripping all his shit apart trying to find it and then see this is what often happens when they try to put romance as action is they try to make it seem like part of the plot by being like, oh no, the girl almost gets killed and it's like oh what's the action star guy going to do? Like is he going to save Megan Fox? So instead of it being like the love interest girl the teddy bear, like he finally finds it and then whoever they're fighting the big transformer one takes it and he's like shit, do I sacrifice the world or do I take my teddy bear back?
SARAH: That reminds me of Deadpool 2 where um, Josh Brolin I can't remember what the name of his character is in Deadpool, but Thanos, you know he spoilers for Deadpool 2 he Like his wife and his daughter died, but he has like he like carries his like daughter's stuffed animal around
KAYLA: Huh?
SARAH: That's what that reminds me of.
KAYLA: Oh, Sarah, you know what we should what exercise, we should do?
SARAH: Push-ups
KAYLA: We should we should think about Hunger Games… we should think about Hunger Games specifically and instead of Katniss choosing between two shitty boys what is she choosing between for the whole series? Like what is… what is it?
SARAH: A croissant and a cinnamon roll.
KAYLA: Okay, what if…
SARAH: Like Peeta made some croissants, Peeta made some cinnamon rolls and she has to pick one.
KAYLA: And she spends all three books just like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Dying over it.
SARAH: Just tearing her hair out over it.
KAYLA: I think perhaps she's trying to decide between… oh man. I came up with this and I have nothing, huh?
SARAH: I'm still kind of upset that you didn't react to… When you said what exercise we should do and I said push-ups
KAYLA: See…
SARAH: I'm salty
KAYLA: I heard that you said something but I couldn't tell what it was and I assumed it was something like that and then I just decided to move on anyway. I Just like wasn't quite sure. Maybe she's trying to decide like which sweater to wear the next day, but she keeps not being able to decide
SARAH: But she’s very much not concerned about fashion though
KAYLA: Well, maybe she's trying to decide which one would be most comfortable
SARAH: Okay, or which one would be like most effective or like warm but not too warm for going out and hunting
KAYLA: Yes, which one would be like the most… What's it called? like efficient? I don't know
SARAH: Efficacy.
KAYLA: Yes, and she can never decide so she just spends the whole series wearing one shirt because she can't decide what shirt to wear next
SARAH: Yeah, it sounds like something I would do.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Um, I think another option is like a person… All I can think of is rowboats and I'm not…
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: I’m not sure what to do with the rowboat.
KAYLA: Like choosing between two rowboats?
SARAH: Sorry, my brain went to other things. I forgot we were talking about things for Katniss to choose between
KAYLA: Oh, so you just want a general B plot to be rowboats?
SARAH: Rowboats
KAYLA: Maybe like instead of cars everyone just gets around in rowboats and it's never discussed
SARAH: It's never discussed. Like they have to create rivers and stuff. They have to create tributaries to get… like instead of building roads they just dig up canals and stuff. But then what if you mix that with the other B plot of drought?
KAYLA: Now that's interesting. And then that's how they invent cars, in this movie, well see now we've got an A plot. Now I've just created a movie about how cars...
SARAH: B plus B equals A.
KAYLA: Now we've just created a movie about how they invented cars. You know what a good B plot would be? Hold on. Whatever the type of movie it is. But then the B plot is that all of the cars are like from cars and they're sentient.
SARAH: They’re sentient?
KAYLA: So, you have like half of the movie is just regular people walking around, but then there's also animated parts of the movie where the cars are cars and talking.
SARAH: Or it could be mixed people plus animation like that scene in Mary Poppins where they jump into the chalk drawing.
KAYLA: Yes. But the movie is not about the cars.
SARAH: No
KAYLA: It's just like the two people are walking down the street and then the cars that you see in the background are just the cars.
SARAH: And then they're like, Yoh, Mater, how you doing?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: Okay, good. I think we should each do one more.
KAYLA: Okay, now I have to think of one more.
SARAH: Now I've realized we've put pressure on ourselves. Or I have put pressure on us.
KAYLA: Now we have to have a good ending one.
SARAH: Oh god. I think a nice B plot could be that a person only writes in 0.7 mechanical pencils. Like they refuse to write in anything else. And like they're trying to like sign off on a lease or something that's part of the A plot, but they're like, I refuse to sign this in pen. Like it needs to be pencil. You can go over it and pen afterwards to make sure it's like, you know, permanent. But like I can only write in a 0.7 mechanical pencil and you have to provide it for me. I don't carry them with me.
KAYLA: It sounds like something you would do. To be quite honest.
SARAH: 0.7 mechanical pencils are the superior pencil.
KAYLA: See this seems like something you would do, but you would carry them with you.
SARAH: I would
KAYLA: You'd carry like a pack of ten.
SARAH: I'm looking. I have like 20 on my desk right now.
KAYLA: I don't doubt it. I think my last one is that you have your movie. Maybe it's like a rom-com or a family drama.
SARAH: Is it arom-com?
KAYLA: Yeah, it's arom-com. The one we made. But in the background, the characters have this really intense D&D campaign, and they keep fighting about it, or it just takes up a lot of their time, and they talk about it all the time, but it has nothing to do with anything else.
SARAH: Okay. Yeah, I think that's good. It's kind of similar to my one where they get obsessed with the fandom, but I think that they go hand in hand. That works.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Great. All right, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Oh lord in heaven.
SARAH: What's the best one?
KAYLA: What's the best one? No, we won't put any options. Just what's the best one?
SARAH: What's the best one? Give us your own, you know? I also think there should be no context to this tweet. It should just say, what's the best one? That would not be useful. All right, maybe we'll give you options, maybe we won't. TBD. Okay, uh, Kayla, what's your beef and your juice this week?
KAYLA: Uh, hold on.
SARAH: I'm going to go first so you don't take my juice. My juice is the Sounds Fake But Okay Out of Context Twitter.
KAYLA: So good.
SARAH: It's a dream I didn't know I had, was to have an out of context Twitter about me. But it has been realized.
KAYLA: It was a dream I knew I had and I'm glad it's real now. Caitlin who runs it is a gem and Caitlin, yesterday when we were recording this, the day we recorded with Bacon and Eggs, she posted a quote from, it had to be like one of the first episodes, about we were talking about how Katniss is aro-ace and she had no idea that we were about to go on Bacon and Eggs and talk about Katniss being aro-ace and it was just the most beautiful coincidence in the world.
SARAH: It really was and nothing I have ever said makes any sense.
KAYLA: No
SARAH: I already forgot the quote from Knives Out that I said earlier. I’m going to find it
KAYLA: It was… It was....
SARAH: It was… It was…
KAYLA: Something about how…
SARAH: It makes no damn sense compels me though.
KAYLA: Yes, we've done it.
SARAH: We've done it. Okay, that's my juice. My other juice is that I don't have COVID.
KAYLA: Yay
SARAH: My test came back negative.
KAYLA: Yay
SARAH: My beef is that L.A. County is now the epicenter of COVID-19 in the United States. Cases spiked 40%. That's all.
KAYLA: I'll do my beef first so we can end on a fun note. My beef is that it's very similar to yours. Well, one of my beefs is that there's a giant fucking ant climbing up my wall. Actually, now that I look at my wall and see a giant fucking ant on it. Anyway, but my other…
SARAH: It's our brethren.
KAYLA: Yeah. I hate it.
SARAH: Lift.
KAYLA: Lift. I did get an ant sweatshirt anyway, even though I like hate them in real life. Anyway, my beef is that people think that coronavirus is over. We were talking to some family friends who I hope don't listen to this, and the lady was like, so did you wear masks? And we were like, uh, I mean, we're still doing that. And she was like, oh, I keep forgetting, like, ha ha, we just got out of this coronavirus thing. And I was like, no, no
[00:50:00]
SARAH: No, no
KAYLA: No
SARAH: You want to come to Los Angeles? We're right back in it.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's, uh, it's not over folks, please still wear your masks.
SARAH: And like Michigan is doing much better because Big Gretch was so strict.
KAYLA: Yeah, but even here, people like if you go to the grocery stores, I haven't been shopping recently, my parents usually do it, but like, not a huge compliance rate with wearing masks in stores.
SARAH: Yeah, um, I saw someone that I'm Facebook friends with posted about like how they're upset that gyms aren't reopened yet. And I'm like…
KAYLA: Gyms are like the nastiest places.
SARAH: Exactly. It's like the breathing is the best way to like to spread it. And you're going to be breathing a lot if you're at a gym because you're exerting yourself.
KAYLA: You can't… no.
SARAH: And like gyms reopened in LA, but I'm not going back to my fucking gym right now. Hell, no absolutely not. I should freeze my membership, but I keep forgetting.
KAYLA: Well, maybe when you're editing this you'll remember.
SARAH: Yeah. Uh, but, you know, it's like and the world and the person was like, you know, they work at a restaurant. And so, they were like, how come I have to like, deal with people's like, people like getting drinks and like doing whatever, but I can't go to the gym. And I was like, I get that you're frustrated. But also, gyms are really dangerous.
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean, that's a good point. But I feel like my end conclusion of that was like, restaurants also shouldn't be open.
SARAH: They also shouldn’t be opened
KAYLA: But they should both be open. They should just both…
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: Be closed if you want to be the same thing.
SARAH: Yeah, agree.
KAYLA: Yeah. Uh, my juice is that I recently learned how to make recycled paper because we're in that stage of quarantine. And apparently, I needed a fifth hobby slash side hustle. But it's…
SARAH: You have hobbies. What are hobbies?
KAYLA: See, the thing with me, though, is that you have zero hobbies, and I get a new hobby every two weeks.
SARAH: I have zero hobbies. And then every… whatever else I do, I just dedicate my life to
KAYLA: That's true. So anyway, it's a very fun, relaxing time. And that's my juice.
SARAH: I can't relate. Go buy her paper.
KAYLA: Yeah, you can buy my paper. So, you can buy my paper. I have it on my Instagram. Some very nice pod listeners have already bought my paper. It's very sweet.
SARAH: Given her an excuse to make more paper. Great. All right. You can talk about your beef, your juice, whether people are complying with mask wearing in your community on our social media @SoundsFakePod. You can also support us on Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod.
KAYLA: We are still working to get all of our stuff or to begin our stuff getting transcribed. If you want to help us be more accessible, please donate.
SARAH: Please donate and we can get that shit done faster.
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: Our $5 patrons are Jennifer Smart, Astritha Vinnakota, Austin Le, Drew Finney, Perry Fierro, Dee, Megan Rowell, Quinn Pollock, Emily Collins, BookMarvel, Changeling MX, Derrick and Carissa, Simona Simon, Jamie jack, Jessica Shea, Rio Faustino, Daniel Walker, Barefoot Backpacker, Livy, Madeline Askew, Livy, Madeline Skew, Lily Funk, James, Corinne, Aliceisinspace, Sky Simpson, and Brooke Siegel. Our $10 patrons are Kevin and Tessa @dirtyuncleKevin @Tessa_m_k, Arcness who'd like to promote the Trevor project, Benjamin Ybarra who'd like to promote Tabletop games, anonymous who’d like to promote Halloween, Sarah McCoy who'd like to promote podcasts from a planet weird, my aunt Jennie who'd like to promote Christopher’s Haven, Cassandra who'd like to promote their modeling Instagram @liddowred, Doug rice who would like to promote Native by Caitlin Curtis and Maggie Capellbo who'd like to promote her dog's Instagram @minniemuffin19 and H. Valdez. Our $15 patrons are Nathaniel White, Nathanieljwhitedesigns.com, my mom Julie who’d like to promote free mom hugs from a distance except in New Zealand, Sarah Jones who is @eternallolli everywhere, Dea Chappelle who’d like to… uh, wait, is that new?
KAYLA: Yes, sorry I meant to warn you. I knew, once you started, I was like, shit it's going to throw her off, shit.
SARAH: Dia Chappelle who would like to promote the Underrealm series by Garrett Robinson, I just wasn't prepared for that.
KAYLA: Which apparently has a lot of very good queer characters including a canon ace character.
SARAH: Nice
KAYLA: So, check it out.
SARAH: Andy A who'd like to promote being in unions like the IWW and Dragonfly who would like to promote wearing a mask when you're in public?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Thank you for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, put a mask on your dang cow.
SARAH: Please!
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]