Ep 158: Rating Your Aspec Vibes

Hey what's up hello! This week we rated the aspec vibes of the pictures and memes YOU submitted. Will bats pass the test? What about our man Plum? Listen to find out!

Episode transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/rating-your-aspec-vibes   

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Transcript

(0:00)

SARAH: Hey what’s up hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I’m Sarah. That’s me.)

KAYLA:… and a demi-straight girl (that’s me, Kayla)

SARAH: talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that we just don’t understand.

KAYLA: On today’s episode: aspec vibes.

ALL: — Sounds fake, but okay.

SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.

KAYLA: M’assachusetts.

SARAH: Hmm, okay.

KAYLA: It’s a state. 

SARAH: I know.

KAYLA: Just in case anyone didn’t. It’s not all about you actually. Don’t know if you knew that.

SARAH: I didn’t, thank you for the information.

KAYLA: We are recording this episode also in the video format for our patrons because this is a relatively visual episode, so sucks if you’re not a patron. 

SARAH: We’ll use our words to paint you a picture.

KAYLA: We’ll make a word picture but our patrons will be able to see this episode visually and if you would like to see it, you can head over to our Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod to become a patron and you can also see our faces and some other cool perks and support the show with your money dollars. Sarah’s making a really ugly face right now. 

SARAH: Yeah. Excellent! Do we have any updates? We were gone last week. 

BOTH: We won an award!

KAYLA: We won an award. We won the Best LGBTQ+ Culture Podcast of 2020 from Discover Pods so thank you to everyone who voted that we harassed into voting. It’s very exciting, I was in a Walgreens parking lot, Sarah and I happened to be FaceTiming when the news came out, it was a very exciting time. 

SARAH: It was, it was. Kayla was the main character in that Walgreens parking lot.

KAYLA: I really was.

SARAH: It was incredible.

KAYLA: Also, we beat some LGBTQ podcasts that have ghosted us in the past so it feels good. So @ [redacted], sucks.

SARAH: Sucks to be [redacted] 

KAYLA: Sucks to be [redacted] but also we will come on if you stop ghosting us, thank you.

SARAH: Please stop ghosting us. Okay, cool. Anything else? Any other updates?

KAYLA: I’m making a lot of Tik Toks. 

SARAH: Kayla keeps making Tik Toks.

KAYLA: I keep making Tik Toks for the podcast Tik Tok @soundsfakepod. I’m unemployed right now, I have no life. Dean goes to work every day and I sit in this long-stay hotel we’re currently living in. So, come validate me I guess.

SARAH: Incredible. Alright, cool. Kayla, what are we talking about this week?

KAYLA: This week, we were having a lot of trouble coming up with an idea, and as soon as we were about to ask you all for an idea, I was struck with inspiration and this became my idea. So, today’s Friday when we’re recording we’re very late this week, oops. But I tweeted and I was like, send me some random pictures of people, random objects, memes and we’re going to rate their aspec vibes so — if they have aro or ace vibes — we’re going to rank these pics. Patrons will be able to see these pictures, for the rest of you we’re going to paint them with our words. Or you can give us money. Yes, we’re gatekeeping these pictures so yeah.

SARAH: Sorry.

KAYLA: Sorry.

SARAH: Why is the album called “pi?”

KAYLA: Cause it was going to be “pic” and then I was too lazy to get the “c” in there. 

SARAH: 3.14159265.

KAYLA: Not cool.

SARAH: 3.1415926535 - did I say that right?

KAYLA: I don’t know. All I know is 3.14.

SARAH: 3.1415926535.

KAYLA: You’re not cool. I don’t know what you want me to do here.

SARAH: Anyway.
KAYLA: Would you like to get into the first picture?

SARAH: I would love to. 

KAYLA: The first picture I believe, yes, this is a picture I had downloaded earlier today because I saw it and thought it was a good meme to have in my arsenal.

SARAH: I hate it.

(5:00)

KAYLA: So this one is one I submitted myself. Would you like to describe it?

SARAH: It’s a bat with a very plump face eating a banana—

KAYLA: Wide-eyed, you can only see its face. It’s wrapped up in a blue blanket cocoon.

SARAH: Yeah.

KAYLA: It is eating a banana and its mouth is very full.

SARAH: It looks like a cartoon but it’s not.

KAYLA: The first picture in the series was the bat first eating the banana but I only saved the second picture of it just having a lot of banana.

SARAH: I think I find this disturbing because it doesn’t look real but it is real.

KAYLA: But it is a bat.

SARAH: Which, I mean that could give it high ace vibes. People don’t think it’s real but it is real.

KAYLA: That’s true. And I also think bats feel very ace to me especially and aro I guess. I think it could go both ways. Actually, are bats one of those that mate for life? Do bats mate for life?

SARAH: I’m not positive.

KAYLA: Most species of bats are promiscuous and have multiple partners. Okay, so we’re a polyamorous vibe. Promiscuous stereotypically would typically go against ace vibes. 

SARAH: I think though they’re going against heteronormativity. Which is very ace of them.

KAYLA: That’s true. Alright, do you want me to do out of 5?

SARAH: I’m so bad at ranking things I’m sorry.

KAYLA: We both are very bad at ranking. I would give this bat with a banana in its mouth 4 out of 5.

SARAH: I would give it 3.75 and the reason I wouldn’t give it 4 is because I don’t like the picture. 

KAYLA: Moving on. We got a lot of cat pictures.

SARAH: As we should have. 

KAYLA: This is from Canonically Ace and this looks like their black cat sitting on a check and it is covered in an ace flag as a blanket. 

SARAH: This is extraordinarily ace.

KAYLA: I mean like it’s a black cat, which is very ace. Any witchy vibes are ace and also it’s the ace flag. So I have to give it a 6 out of 5 I think.

SARAH: I was also thinking 6 out of 5.

KAYLA: Alright perfect, next. This is from Nerdy Llama in the Discord. It’s a screenshot of a song on Spotify. The song is called:

SARAH: Airship Pirate Cats and Underwater Ducks (The Song Made In One Hour).

KAYLA: It’s by The Cog Is Dead. I’ve not listened to this song but the album cover is a sea — a classic picture of the ocean with the sky over it, there is a boat in the distance, there is a cat wearing a pirate hat, and a duck wearing one of those little pirate durags. 

SARAH: A pirate durag, yknow? 

KAYLA: Made in an hour. I mean.

SARAH: Yeah, I don’t even know what to do with this. My instinct says it’s very aro-ace, I don’t know why.

KAYLA: It’s at least very queer because of just how chaotic it is.

SARAH: I think the companionship of the cat, The Airship Pirate Cats and Underwater Ducks reads as very aspec to me.

KAYLA: Sarah, tag us. Which one of us is the Airship Pirate Cat and which is the Underwater Duck?

SARAH: That’s difficult. 

KAYLA: I think you might be the duck. Just by looking into its eyes.

SARAH: I’m not underwater.

KAYLA: Just by looking at it. It’s giving me a Sarah vibe.

SARAH: Okay.

KAYLA: I’m going to give this 3 out of 5 because I can’t exactly pinpoint what flavor of queer it is but I do agree that the relationship of this cat and duck seems like it may be QPR. 

SARAH: I’ll give it a 4 because I think they have a QPR.

KAYLA: Okay, I love that. This is @aceinpain on Twitter. It is simply a picture of a — I think it’s from Spongebob probably.

SARAH: Looks like it’s from Spongebob.

KAYLA: Probably the episode where they’re like “is mayo an instrument?”

(10:00)

SARAH: Is mayonnaise an instrument?

KAYLA: So it’s a jar of animated mayo with the classic blue background of Spongebob. The closed caption on the picture says, “scream.”

SARAH: I think this is very ace. I think the mayonnaise represents sexual attraction.

KAYLA: And it’s the aspecs screaming?

SARAH: And it’s the aspecs just screaming. 

KAYLA: So the mayo is sexual and/or romantic attraction. I agree. I think this is a good 5.

SARAH: I would also say a 5.

KAYLA: This was a GIF. This is Eric Andre. MaddyLawrence95 on Twitter sent us this. It’s Eric Andre in a GIF rattling the gates. “Let me in!” I think it’s very aspec because it’s us telling gatekeepers let us the fuck in.

SARAH: I agree. I would say though, I’m not going to give it a 5. I’m going to give it a 4.5 because on one had we do want to be let in but on the other hand if they’re going to be dicks about it—

KAYLA: That’s true. And Eric Andre is being very passionate in the GIF and I don’t know that we should be giving that much energy to gatekeepers. I agree. 4.5.

SARAH: So 4.5.

KAYLA: 0.5 off for passion.

SARAH: Yeah.

KAYLA: This is from rateus? Rteyas?

SARAH: Rteyas. Rateus is a different person. 

KAYLA: Rteyas in Discord. Just a picture of some words. “Sorry if I’m not your cup of tea. I’m not even my own cup of tea. I’m barely a cup and I don’t like tea. I’m more like a rusty bucket of haunted bog water. Sorry if I’m not your rusty bucket of haunted bog water.”

SARAH: 6.5 out of 5. 

KAYLA: It’s incredibly aspec. I don’t want the tea. I’m not actually the tea.

SARAH: I’m not even a vessel for the tea. I’m just a bucket for haunted bog water.

KAYLA: This is very aspec. 7 out of 5. Thank you, next. This is from Upchan on Twitter. I’m assuming this is their cat in a box. It’s a good cat.

SARAH: Lot of fluff on the back of the cat.

KAYLA: Very fluffy cat. I’m sorry Upchan, I don’t know about this, because I don’t want aces and aros to be in a box.

SARAH: There’s nothing that inherently — the cat thing is maybe a little aspec — but I think there’s nothing that reads as super inherently aspec to me.

KAYLA: No. 

SARAH: Maybe the cat is gay.

KAYLA: I’m going to give it a 1 because I like your cat.

SARAH: I’m going to give it a 1.25.

KAYLA: Next. This is from Elle @scretladyspider. I’m assuming this from an anime?

SARAH: Or well, that wouldn’t be anime, that would be manga, yeah.

KAYLA: It is a girl running up the stairs of an apartment and there are balloons that are shaped like people’s heads floating around looking at her.

SARAH: Now this reminds me of a short film I watched in film school that is very famous and that I now can't remember what it’s called. There’s a woman and there’s a key—

KAYLA: Ohh, there’s a woman! 

SARAH: Short film, woman, key. 

KAYLA: No, there’s no way.

SARAH: It came up. It was the first one that came up. It’s Meshes of the Afternoon. Hahaha. It’s Meshes of the Afternoon which is a Maya Deren film. For some reason, the vibes of this remind me of that a lot. And Meshes of the Afternoon comes off as very very lesbian to me.

KAYLA: See this, I first instinct, just hate it because it’s very creepy. But then I thought about it deeply like my 12th grade English literature teacher would have wanted me to. I think all the heads are looking at this girl and she’s running away, which makes me feel like it’s very aspec because they’re looking at her like, “you should be doing what we’re doing” and she’s running away like no thank you, you creeps. 

SARAH: Yeah, I mean if we were judging this on gayness I would give it a 5 out of 5. Granted you can be gay and ace. I feel the Meshes of the Afternoon vibes I get are very homoerotic, homosexual, they’re both. So I would say from an ace perspective, I’m going to give it a 1.875.

KAYLA: I’m going to give it a 3. I just don’t like looking at it.

SARAH: It just makes me think of Meshes of the Afternoon.

KAYLA: I don’t like it. This is from @GdByBlueSky on Twitter. 

SARAH: Groovus.

KAYLA: Groovus.

SARAH: It is a cow. A stripey cow.

KAYLA: This is a very famous picture I feel like at this point. 

SARAH: Standing in the ocean.

KAYLA: Looking out into the sea. I’ve seen this picture several times. 

SARAH: Now, here’s why I think this photo first seems very aspec but it is in fact not. 

KAYLA: Kay.

SARAH: So you see the cow. Obviously, cows are aspec. 

KAYLA: All cows are apsec we’ve done that to ourselves.

SARAH: Yes. And they’re just standing contemplating life, looking into the ocean. And they’re alone, which you know, seems kind of aspec, but then I was thinking, I think this cow is lonely. And I don’t think that’s very aspec of the cow because I think aspec people can have perfectly fulfilling lives.

KAYLA: We may also can be lonely like any other person.

SARAH: We can be lonely but I don’t want to put that stereotype onto — 

KAYLA: That’s true.

SARAH: This is a cow that’s staring into the ocean basically being, “why don’t I have a significant other?” And as much as aspec people can do that, I don’t want to push that upon the community so I’m going to say this cow is actually not very aspec.

KAYLA: I’m going to give it a 2. I think the sounds fake vibes of this picture are a 5. A very strong 5 but I agree with Sarah. Other than it being a cow, I just don’t know.

SARAH: I’ll give it a — I can’t give it a 2 because I gave the last one a 1.875. It doesn’t matter. Moving on.

KAYLA: Next. This is by reptiley_ on Twitter.

SARAH: And they have 28 days to winter break, just so you know.

KAYLA: They have 28 days to winter break and you all need to know that. So it looks like a screenshot of when you look stuff up on Google and it recommends YouTube videos and the first video is “How Does Teleportation Work” and then the second one is, “Quantum Teleportation is Real, Here’s How It...”

SARAH: I think this is a 3.5 out of 5. I have no reasoning for this, it’s just a vibe.

KAYLA: I’m going to give it a 4.5 because — no I’m going to give it a 3.75 because I think it takes some thinking but if people — first, “is asexuality real, is aromanticism real, how does it work?” and then they would move on to saying, “it is real” — 

SARAH: To teleportation.

KAYLA: Huh?

SARAH: To teleportation?

KAYLA: No. So the first video is like “is teleportation real” and the second is like “yes.” For asexuality and aromanticism it’d be like, “is this real” and the second one would be like “yes and here’s how.” 

SARAH: Sure. 

KAYLA: This was a GIF. I don’t know what this is.

SARAH: It’s a GIF from @Alejandro101524 on Twitter.

KAYLA: I don’t know what show this is from.
SARAH: It’s a penguin? 

KAYLA: It’s a penguin character, it has to be from a show. It’s laying on the couch reading a newspaper. 

SARAH: I don’t think this is very aspec because it reminds me of just like a middle-aged dad. 

KAYLA: Mm. I agree.

SARAH: Like a very heteronormative middle-aged dad. So I don’t think that’s very aspec.

(20:00)

KAYLA: I’m going to give it 1 also for that reason but keep in mind that neither Sarah nor I know what this is from so maybe this character is very aspec and I just don’t know.

SARAH: You’ll have to inform us. Wow okay, sorry I’m really just taking that in

KAYLA: This is from SOUP on Discord. But it’s a screenshot of a tweet. The picture is their eye and it’s a screenshot of a DM. So apparently someone DM’d them a picture of their profile picture which is a picture of their eye and said, “I just noticed your avi looks like a frog trying to hold an elevator open” and then there’s another picture where you can see the reflection of what must be the camera and the tripod set up to take the picture.

SARAH: I think she’s holding the camera with two hands.

KAYLA: Ohh, yeah. Okay, yeah. So she’s holding the camera with two hands, you can see the top of the camera thing, and it does look like a door of some sort. So when you zoom in on the reflection, it does look like there is a frog trying to hold some doors open. And the tweet says “these are the “dms” I get from guys.”

SARAH: I think this is a solid 4.25. I think it just is.

KAYLA: I’m going to give it a strong 4.5. The other .5 goes to the lesbians because from what I’ve learned from lesbians in TikTok is that they love frogs.

SARAH: I’ve seen a lot of frog memes on Instagram recently, I sent you one.

KAYLA: The gays love a frog is what I’ve been learning so I’m going to give the other .5 to the gays.

SARAH: I also just think that — I think the reason I didn’t give it a full 5 is because I feel like this actually could be a very effective pick-up line. 

KAYLA: Oh yeah I would for sure go for that, that’s very good. 

SARAH: So that’s why I can’t give it a full 5.

KAYLA: That’s fair. This is a picture of Elsa. It’s from @Zuzky on Twitter.

SARAH: 5.

KAYLA: It’s a 5. Next. @Ellencats sent a picture of a hedgehog and said, “hedgehogs!!!!”

SARAH: Now it’s a hedgehog on a bed of leaves. This is important.

KAYLA: And it’s all curled up.

SARAH: I would like to know your thoughts on this before I go.

KAYLA: I remember when you tweeted a week or so ago, “what isn’t aspec but feels aspec” I saw a lot of people say things like cactuses and hedgehogs because it’s like a “don’t touch me” vibe, which I think is very strong and good. I’m going to give it a 3.85 because I do think that’s a good point but also not all aspecs don’t like being touched. So that’s what I’m going to give it.

SARAH: I’m going to give it a 4 cause I like it.

KAYLA: Okay. Good. Next. This is from @Jules_MM. I’m assuming it’s Jules’ dog. 

SARAH: *gasps* You just heard a live genuine reaction to seeing a dog for the first time. 

KAYLA: It’s a very good dog. The dog looks very cute.

SARAH: It looks like some sort of labradoodle. 

KAYLA: I mean I don’t see any aspec vibes from this dog.

SARAH: I give it a 2.5 because I don’t see anything either way. 

KAYLA: I’m going to give it a 1 but it’s a very good dog. 

SARAH: I love your dog.

KAYLA: Ok this is from @nano_meeks on Twitter. Hold on I need to — okay so someone is asking this little girl, “do you like boys or do you like girls?” and she says, “I don’t like boys! I like Netflix and birds.”

SARAH: 5.

KAYLA: 5. She’s also wearing green which is very aro of her, I give her a 5. 

SARAH: She likes Netflix and birds.

KAYLA: This is from @meramdia on Twitter. It is a picture of a hand holding a red pill and written on the red pill it says, “demon time.” 

SARAH: Kayla did you take your meds today?

KAYLA: No, I’ll take it right now. 

SARAH: For those of you who don’t know, me and Kayla have a Snap streak where we send videos of ourselves taking meds to each other every day. And so, I just remembered that she didn’t send me one.

KAYLA: I’ll do it live. Live on the pod, Kayla takes her meds.

SARAH: Fuck it, we’ll do it live. 

KAYLA: I’ll send you a Snap also.

SARAH: You don’t have to send me a Snap it’s okay.

KAYLA: I do because our streak.

SARAH: Well you can just send me a different snap later. 

KAYLA: Too late. Already did it.

SARAH: Anyway.

KAYLA: Anyway.

SARAH: Look I got a Snap from Kayla.

KAYLA: It’s a red pill that says “demon time.” For some reason, I’m getting very bi energy from this pill. Again, not that you can’t be aspec and bi.

SARAH: I thought you were going to say, “not that you can’t be aspec and demonic.” 

KAYLA: Oh I mean you absolutely can. I think we’ve established that witches and skeletons are definitely aspec. I don’t know that I would put demons there, I don’t know exactly what sexually I’d give to a demon but for some reason I don’t see demons as aspec as like a witch or a skeleton.

SARAH: I think to rate this out of 5, I would rate it a TBD out of 5.

KAYLA: Okay. Next. It’s from @hv_bts. 

SARAH: Their profile picture is Namjoon, just an announcement for everyone.

KAYLA: Okay, it’s a fat bird sittin’ on a fence.

SARAH: 4.

KAYLA: 3. This is a good bird.

SARAH: 2. 1.

KAYLA: Nope. This is a picture of Sam Mason from Danny Phantom, I didn’t know that was her name. But it’s the girl from Danny Phantom that has the black hair and she wears the porple.

SARAH: This is from @spideysguk who’s also a BTS stan.

KAYLA: @spideysguk, that’s gross, sounds gross.

SARAH: I love them.

KAYLA: I don’t remember much about this character, I haven’t watched Danny Phantom since I was a wee lad.

SARAH: I have never watched Danny Phantom.

KAYLA: It wasn’t like one of my main shows as a kid but I feel like I definitely watched it sometime. I mean she has black hair, black clothes, wearing a lot of purple accents, a green scrunchie. I mean I’m going to give it a 5.

SARAH: And she looks very annoyed. Her arms are crossed. 

KAYLA: She looks very annoyed.

SARAH: That’s a 5 out of 5.

KAYLA: That’s a 5. She’s an aspec lady.

SARAH: She’s annoyed with the romance. This is from @DebbieParrilla also a BTS fan — we love all the ARMY on our replies — on Twitter.

KAYLA: Some kind of black bee.

SARAH: It looks like a bumblebee that’s black.

KAYLA: With no yellow on it. This I give a 5.

SARAH: 4.75.

KAYLA: I give this a 5. This is a nonconforming black bee.

SARAH: Yeah.

KAYLA: Yeah. Also, a lot of bees are not sexual so. This is from @jjongcheekies.

SARAH: We have more K-pop fans. Shocking. 

KAYLA: It’s a felt tip mushroom. You know those when you felt something that people poke felt with a bunch of needles and it turns into a thing? It’s that and it’s a very lovely mushroom. I’ve also recently learned that mushrooms are very adored and loved by the lesbians. 

SARAH: 4.

KAYLA: I’m going to give it a 3. If it was aspec colors I think  I would rate it higher. 

SARAH: Hmm, I see.

KAYLA: Yup. This is a dog.

SARAH: @SakuraVithuril on Twitter. It’s a dog. It’s a very cute dog. I’m not getting particularly ace vibes, I’m going to give it a 2. On the aspec scale. On the dog scale, 5 out of 5.

KAYLA: On the dog scale, it’s a very very good dog. On the aspec scale, I’d say 1 and a half. It’s from—

SARAH: Oh this is from @ShlynnBo! Hi Ashlynn. 

KAYLA: I’m assuming these are Ashlynn’s cats. It’s two cats sitting on a bathroom counter looking into the camera. Like these cats could drop rap albums. They look very angry. They do look like they’re going to rap about something.

SARAH: 3.25.

KAYLA: I’m giving this a 4. I feel like this is an aspec gang like mean, of people being mean being like, “asexuality isn’t real” and these cats pull up and they’re like “get fucked.”

SARAH: When the cats pull up and tell you to get fucked.

KAYLA: Mm hmm. Yes.

SARAH: Okay.

KAYLA: This is another cat, from @backatthebein. It’s their friend’s cats. One cat isn’t really looking at the camera. The other cat is just chilling, laying around.

SARAH: 4.

KAYLA: Really, why?

SARAH: Well, that cat is mostly black and I just really like how the other cat looks.

KAYLA: Oh okay. I’m going to give it a 3. It feels like like the front cat may be protecting the back cat maybe they’re in a QPR. 

(30:00)

SARAH: Also looks a little bit like a tuxedo on the cat. 

KAYLA: It does look like a tuxedo. This is from Daniel, the love of our lives @SliceofAce. 

SARAH: It’s a lemming.

KAYLA: What is a lemming? It just looks like a hamster. 

SARAH: It’s sort of like a rodent thing.

KAYLA: Well this is a picture of a nice lemming.

SARAH: 5.

KAYLA: Why?

SARAH: Because.

KAYLA: Um. I’m giving this lemming a 2.

SARAH: Wow, okay.

KAYLA: I just don’t know much about lemmings. How do I know what vibes they give off?

SARAH: I trust Daniel.

KAYLA: That’s true, I give it a 5 I trust Daniel. Next. Um, this is is a meme. Another one from @backatthebein. It’s a dad holding a bowl—

SARAH: That looks like— whatshisface.

KAYLA: Who?

SARAH: Dave Grohl.

KAYLA: I don’t know who that is.

SARAH: Well, get with the times. And by get with the times I mean get with the times in 2006.

KAYLA: Okay. It’s a man that looks like Dave. He’s yelling —maybe laughing but it kind of looks like yelling. His daughter’s sitting on the counter stirring and it says, “I’ve got another confection to bake.” 

SARAH: I’m going to give this a zero because I don’t like the vibes.

KAYLA (laughing): I’m going to give it a 4 because it seems like they’re making a cake.

SARAH: There’s something about it I just don’t like and so it gets a zero.

KAYLA: It’s the only one you’ve given a zero to so far. This is the vibe you don’t like? Not the creepy head balloons— it’s this you don’t like?

SARAH: No I liked the creepy head balloons. 

KAYLA: I didn’t. This is from @KayAWells_

SARAH: KaylaAWells.

KAYLA: Oh sorry. @KaylaAWells.

SARAH: Kayla read your own dang name. 

KAYLA: Nope. It’s some shot glasses that look like lil cat feet.

SARAH: And they’re filled with milk.

KAYLA: Um.

SARAH: 2.

KAYLA: I’m going to give it a 2 and a half. I like the cat vibes, it seems like everyone is kind of agreeing that cats are aspec but I’m not getting very strong vibes. 

SARAH: Yeah the vibes are vague. Vague vibes. 

KAYLA: The vibes are vague. I think these are two separate memes. 

SARAH: I think we should treat them as if they’re one.

KAYLA: I agree. I don’t think they go together.

SARAH: I don’t think they do.

KAYLA: It’s from @mon_diann.

SARAH: Diann. Kayla can’t read.

KAYLA: So the first meme is Baby Yoda holding a spatula looking up and it says “6-year-old me waiting for my mom to tell me to flip the pancakes.”

SARAH: Look at the bubbles, it’s all about the bubbles. 

KAYLA: The second meme is a man — for some reason, I feel like it’s Leonardo DiCaprio — I don’t know why.

SARAH: Leonardo DiCaprio is not that long.

KAYLA: Well he’s all scrunched up you don’t know how long he is. 

SARAH: Look at the legs.

KAYLA: It’s a man scrunched up fetal position but not fetal position—

SARAH: Face first.

KAYLA: — on the floor.

SARAH: It kind of looks like this person’s head is buried in the ground but it’s not. 

KAYLA: But I do think they go together. It’s like when you’re waiting for your mom to tell you to flip them and then you do a fuck up with the pancakes.

SARAH: I think, together 5 out of 5. I just love the vibes. I don’t know what the vibes are but I like them.

KAYLA: I also think it’s a 5. You’re waiting for someone to tell you what to do and then you’re like, “actually I don’t that I’m aspec, I don’t want the things that you want.”

SARAH: I’m not following—

KAYLA: My logic?

SARAH: The narrative? No, I follow your logic, I’m saying that my reasoning has nothing to do with narrative and everything to do with vibes.

KAYLA: Literally Sarah, that’s our whole thing. You bring the vibes, I organize your vibes. 

SARAH: Listen.

KAYLA: I also don’t know that these go together 

SARAH: But they should.

KAYLA: So this is from our good friend Caitlyn @caitlyn_vos. The first — that can’t be a real owl. Looks like a Target owl. It’s a lil white owl, looks like one of those decorative birds you get at Target. The second one is a drawing on a yellow sticky note. It’s a stick person but they have 3 arms and 3 legs. And—

SARAH: 3 mouths, 1 nose, 4 eyes, 2 eyebrows.

(35:00)

KAYLA: YES. It’s this weird monster person. To me, it looks like —

SARAH: 6 out of 5.

KAYLA: A deranged child trying to draw the owl. 

SARAH (laughing): It looks like someone tried to draw the owl and it went horribly.

KAYLA: Here’s my narrative. So you’re giving it a 6 on the vibes. My narrative is that you tell an aspec to describe romantic/sexual attraction based on it and then they draw this horrible mess.

SARAH: Yeah I love it.

KAYLA: I give it a 5. It’s very good. 

SARAH: Thank you Caitlyn, as always.

KAYLA: It’s from @acehrls. “This Shroomish drawing I made.” I’m guessing Shroomish — is Shroomish a thing? 

SARAH: It must be a thing. I don’t know what it is but but I think it’s very aspec.

KAYLA: Oh it’s a Pokemon.

SARAH: It’s a species of Pokemon.

KAYLA: I think it’s two-mushroom-looking characters sitting around a fire. Chillin’.

SARAH: One of them looks sort of like Angry Birds. The one that’s Shroomish looks like Angry Birds. 

KAYLA: I agree.

SARAH: 5 out of 5.

KAYLA: I give it a 4. It feels like they’re in a QPR.

SARAH: 4.75.

KAYLA: Okay. 

SARAH: This is from @lena_star98 on Twitter. It’s a scallop? 

KAYLA: The tweet just says “scallop” and it’s a picture of not even a real scallop — just like an animated—

SARAH: It looks like the Shell logo. 

KAYLA: PicArt. 

SARAH: It looks like the logo of the gas station Shell. 

KAYLA: It’s Word PicArt what you would get when you look up “scallop.” I’m giving this a 5. I feel 5. I feel scallops are ace.

SARAH: 4 for vibes. 

KAYLA: Scallop. This is from our good friend @ChangelingMx. So they do a lot of pictures on the iPhone where you can make an emoji of yourself. And theirs is always a green face and pink eyebrows. So it’s their iPhone emoji thing but it has its little hands out making lil jazz hands kind of. 

SARAH: 6 out of 5. 

KAYLA: I agree. It feels very aro — affirmative aro vibes.

SARAH: I’m just like, oh look it’s Changeling. 6 out of 5.

KAYLA: Okay. Need to do a Zoom on this. Oh I Zoomed too much. Okay this is from Soup — 

SARAH: SOUP!

KAYLA: On Discord. It’s a comic. It’s a picture of a belly, a stomach, it says, “every time I see you” and then the next panel says “I get butterflies in my stomach” and there’s several butterflies and it says “it’s alright,—”

SARAH: You’re going to kill the poor patrons.

KAYLA: I’m sorry it keeps zooming in and out. There you can see, it, there it is. 

SARAH: I hope none of you have epilepsy.

KAYLA: I’m so sorry. So it’s a stomach, “every time I see you I get butterflies in my stomach, it’s alright, the acid kills them almost instantly” and then it’s just a bunch of dead butterflies laying in the acid. 

SARAH: I think this is — it’s not super aro specifically but it’s arospec and I respect that.

KAYLA: I get very aro vibes from this. I get very aro vibes from this.

SARAH: 4. 

KAYLA: 4. Okay, this is another one from Soup. It’s a screenshot of a Facebook post by a man named Barry. “Why love have to be so constipated why can guy just love the lady and lady ur need to love ur guys work it out or go ur ways he will do the some it a lots of fish in the ocean for both of ur no need for it I don’t have u nobody can that bullshit stop and work it out is the hold that about boyfriend and girlfriend.”

SARAH: 3 for vibes.

KAYLA: I’m giving it a 3.5 because I think this is again asking an aro person to describe what romance is. 

SARAH: I also like how 2 people have liked that post. 

KAYLA: Yes, it is a really good post, I would like it. Okay, this is from HarryHighDef on Discord. It’s a screenshot of a tweet that says “I think people are forgetting what Prime Day is really about and who died to make it possible” and it’s a picture of an animated Optimus Prime. 

SARAH: Now I don’t know that this is specifically aspec. But I do appreciate the vibes because fuck Jeff Beezbos. I don’t know anything about Optimus Prime so I’m not really informed.

KAYLA: I give it a 1. No, I’m going to give it a 2 for hating Jeff Beezbos vibes.

SARAH: I’ll give it a 1.5

KAYLA: Kay. Okay, there’s another picture that goes with that later. This is from —

SARAH: Thunder.

KAYLA: This is from Thunder, our lovely mod on Discord who painted her nails like sparkly purple and white and is holding, it looks like an amethyst or nice porple rock. 10/5.

SARAH: 100.

KAYLA: Very witchy, very purple, very ace vibes. She also did another picture that had her ace ring in it which is even more ace, but that’s not this picture, sorry. 

SARAH: Sorry! Meilin.

KAYLA: Meilin in Discord sent a picture of their dog eating a tennis ball.

SARAH: Now I’m not sure why this reads as more aspec to me than the other 2 dogs but I’m going to give this a 3.

KAYLA: I don’t know why either. 

SARAH: Going to give it a 3.

KAYLA: I’m going to give it a 1. Very good dog, I’m not feeling the vibes.

SARAH: Mm-hmm. 

KAYLA: Oh here’s another picture from Thunder.

SARAH: Different nails.

KAYLA: Also very good.

SARAH: I’m going to give them a 99 because I like them but I also like the other picture better.

KAYLA: Sounds good. This is a tweet from @kathrynbt42. It is a meme that says “what cishets think LGBT people want” and it is a ring, money and flowers. And then it says, “what LGBT people really want” and it’s a cockroach and a snail and a rat and —

SARAH: Two tarantulas.

KAYLA: And a centipede. And a snake. Just some bugs. I give this a 5 out of 5.

SARAH: See I’m going to give this a 2.25.

KAYLA: Why!
SARAH: The reason is —

KAYLA: Just because you don’t like it?

SARAH: Is because there’s a rat in my garage— or a mouse, I think it’s a mouse.

KAYLA: You can’t take — it’s not — Kathryn did not know that when they submitted this. 

SARAH: Here’s the thing though — as an LGBT people myself, if I were to look at this, and they were like “you could have 3 things on this list,” what would I want? I would want the money, the flowers, and the snail.

KAYLA: Literally what I was about to say. I would probably take the ring though that’s more valuable.

SARAH: I wouldn’t.

KAYLA: And then I would give it to the snail. It’s not the kind of ring I want.

SARAH: Propose to the snail! Have it be a necklace, necklace for the snail!

KAYLA: Snails I think have major aspect vibes. I do just want to say that. 

SARAH: I think because two of those things are from the “what cishets think LGBT people want,” I think that makes it somehow not I’m not sure—

KAYLA: I’m going to give it a 5 for the snail. I love a snail.

SARAH: Okay.

KAYLA: Dean if you’re watching, it’s not the type of ring I want, next. He’s not a patron he can’t watch this. It’s from @Jynjergo on Twitter.

SARAH: Jynjer Go. This is Jynjer!

KAYLA: Jynjer who I believe is probably still looking for a platonic wife so. 

SARAH: In case anyone out there is still looking.

KAYLA: It’s a tiny pineapple. This is giving me big baby aro vibes for some reason.

SARAH: See I immediately went to not at all aspec because first of all, it’s pink, the body of the pineapple is pink and that makes me think of Valentine’s Day. The other reason is pineapples — very sexual beings. 

KAYLA: Oh, I guess I forgot that there’s that whole thing. 

SARAH: I won’t explain. If you don’t know don’t worry about it.

KAYLA: It just feels like a baby aro. A tiny little spiky green thing. 

SARAH: I think we’re both right.

KAYLA: I think it’s a 4.

(45:00)

SARAH: I think it’s a zero but it’s also a 4.

KAYLA: Kay. This is from Emi. This is Emi’s beautiful cat.

SARAH: I mean I have to give it a 7.5 out of 5 just because I love Emi’s cat.

KAYLA: If any cat were aspec I do think it would be Emi’s cat.

SARAH: He’s beautiful.

KAYLA: He’s just so grumpy.

SARAH: He’s old and wonderful.

KAYLA: Next. Oh, this is another one from Emi. It’s a meme @embly99 by the way. “Therapist: Your dreams have deeper meanings. Also my dreams: Oh no oh mama! I forgot to water my baguettes!” and it’s the baguette sticking out of the ground saying “hydrate us, Ryan” and there’s a poor stock photo man hitting his head with his hand.

SARAH: I think this is a 5. Whenever I hear people talking about sex dreams, I’m like “what the fuck,” who’s dreaming about the sexy? 

KAYLA: I’ve had like a total of 1 sex dream maybe. 

SARAH: I haven’t had any.

KAYLA: I give this is a 5. This feels like a dream that an aspec would have.

SARAH: I personally dream about baguettes that aren’t hydrated. Oh no oh mama I forgot to water them!

KAYLA: I’m going to start saying that when things go wrong. Oh no oh mama!

SARAH: I forgot to water my baguettes. Hydrate us, Ryan reminds me of moisturize me from Dr. Who which is also excellent.

KAYLA: Emi, as always, thank you for everything.

SARAH: Incredible content.

KAYLA: This is a dog.

SARAH: This is from @IceBurg74 on Twitter. I don’t know why but this dog gets a 4 out of 5 on the aspec vibes.

KAYLA: I kind of agree because it’s sitting in a very weird fashion. And it’s looking off away from the camera, looking very done with everything. 

SARAH: Yeah.

KAYLA: I give this a 4. The dog passes the aspec vibe. 

SARAH: Mm hmm. 

KAYLA: *Gasp.* I can’t tell what the first picture is, is it another dog? Kind of looks like a toad. 

SARAH: It’s a little dog.

KAYLA: Oh yes I see the eyes. At first it looked like a toad. 

SARAH: This is from @flocksofsiegels1 Brooke Siegel. 

KAYLA: Two soft cute looking boys.

SARAH: The one on the right is a 3.5 out of 5 because it kind of looks like my sister’s puppy Rosie and I like that about it. The one on the left is a 2 out of 5 in ace vibes.

KAYLA: I’m giving it a 1 I’m not getting any vibes from these dogs. These are very good dogs, I like that your dog is mistaken for a toad by me.

SARAH: Yeah I also thought it was a frog.

KAYLA: I’m sorry I’m just not getting the vibes. This is from Conar the Sonar @TheConar. It is the pink Care Bear saying, “I’m fuckign struggling bro.”

SARAH: I think I’m going to give this a 4 out of 5. I would give it a 3.5 but I appreciate the misspelling of “fucking,” it’s “f-u-c-k-i-g-n” which is, it’s a great spelling. I often misspell “screaming” as scramign.

KAYLA: You have to.

SARAH: I pretty much never say “screaming.” I always scramign. 

KAYLA: I’m going to give it a 3 and a half. I just don’t like how pink it is. 

SARAH: Okay. But I am fucking struggling bro.

KAYLA: Same. This was a GIF. It’s from @dianavdavidson on Twitter. It’s these black little fluff people with arms and legs and they were running around carrying little stars. I’m assuming this is from a cartoon of some sort. 

SARAH: I don’t understand so I’m going to plead the fifth. Plead the fifth out of 5.

KAYLA: I’m going to give it a 5 because I feel like my narrative. A bunch of aspecs supporting other aspecs running around being lil, giving each other lil stars.

SARAH: Okay.

KAYLA: Next. This is from @after_lahgter. 

SARAH: 5 out of 5.

KAYLA: It is a tiny yellow chick, sticking out from a giant hen’s wings and saying to another chick, “sorry my mom said no.” This is a 5 to me.

SARAH: Because listen, me as a youth, “no I can’t date you, my mom said no.” 

KAYLA: My mom said no. “Can’t have sex with you, my mom said no.” My mom said no sex, sorry. Very good, very good submission.

SARAH: This is from @therewillbebloo.

KAYLA: When education is not liberating, the dream of the oppressed is to become the oppressor. The first picture is a cat being attacked by one of those games where the alligator —

SARAH: Like the hungry hungry hippos but it’s not. 

KAYLA: Yeah you push down the alligator’s teeth and you put your hand in it. If you get unlucky, it clomps on your hand. The next picture is a cat in a lizard costume so it has become the alligator.

SARAH: 4.75

KAYLA: I’m giving it a 2 I don’t like the vibes. I don’t like the way the cat is screaming, and there is a line that looks like between floor lines that looks like it’s coming out of the cat’s mouth. It looks like the cat has a very long skinny black tongue and I just can’t deal with that right now.

SARAH: It looks to me like there is a metal stick sticking out of the alligator that got caught.

KAYLA: Or the alligator is shooting out a black laser out of its mouth and going into the cat’s mouth. I don’t like it, next, sorry. This is from @paranoidpanda7. It looks like — I don’t know — some kind of mountain cat in the snow looking incredibly pissed off.

SARAH: 4

KAYLA: I give it a 4. It looks comfy, it looks cozy, it looks pissed at the world. 

SARAH: It almost looks like it has a handlebar mustache.

KAYLA: It does almost be that way. This is from Melasses on Discord. Melasses asked, “Does my hamster look super evil working?”

SARAH: No, it says “Does my hamster looking super evil work?”

KAYLA: Ohh my god.

SARAH: Kayla can’t fucking read.

KAYLA: “Does my hamster looking super evil work?” This is an evil-looking hamster. It has its hands all curled up.

SARAH: 4.75 out of 5 — I think this hamster is plotting to overthrow heteronormativity, amatonormativity, allonormativity, and also the patriarchy.

KAYLA: I agree I give this hamster a 4. This is a good hamster. This is a picture from bianca. It is a very nice sky sunset pic, got some nice purples and pinks.

SARAH: I give it a 3.5 out of 5 for ace vibes. I would have gone higher but the reason I gave 3.5 is because it reminds me of that scene from Black Panther where he’s dead and he talks to his dad and it’s like sunset and he’s like “dad” and his dad’s like, “bitch, be alive.” And it makes me think about that and that makes me sad because it makes me think about Chadwick Boseman. Also when I think about Black Panther, I think about — what’s that character’s name — Lupita Nyong’o plays — I don’t remember what her character’s name is. But it makes me think of that and there’s a romance there so I had to dock some points.

KAYLA: I’m going to give it a 4 because it reminds me of a picture I have of a sunset from our freshman year dorm and I think the aspec vibes of our freshman year dorm were much higher than either of us knew at the time.

SARAH: Yeah.

KAYLA: So I give it a 4. This is from @IndieEligible it’s a screenshot of that old tootsie pop commercial where there’s an owl, and the kid is like, “how many licks does it take to get to the center of the tootsie pop?” the kid is just handing the owl the tootsie pop. And the owl does look high as fuck.
SARAH: Yeah. I rate this a confused out of 5.

KAYLA: I can’t really tell what these vibes are. I know this owl looks very high.

SARAH: Yeah, and the kid looks like it belongs it Conjunction Junction What’s Your Function?

KAYLA: Look at the butt of this character though.

(55:00)

SARAH: Shawty got donk.

KAYLA: But not really. It’s very obscure.

SARAH: It looks like he got butt implants.

KAYLA: I can’t. Next. This is from Sarah. 

SARAH: I wish I could see the GIF.

KAYLA: It’s just him dancing around. This is from @AceStephen83. It is some member of BTS. It’s a GIF of some member of BTS dancing around in a shark onesie.

SARAH: It’s very blurry. So I think I know who it is but I need to look at the GIF.

KAYLA: Well it’s a GIF. 

SARAH: I need to look at the GIF to make sure I’m correct because the angle is weird. I was correct, that is Jimin. I have to give Jimin a 1.5. I don’t think Jimin gives off very aspec vibes. But he does give off fuck heteronormativity vibes which is very ace of him. And I think the onesie that he is wearing onstage in this GIF is also ace of him.

KAYLA: I’m going to pass. I don’t know. I just don’t know. This is from @lissatrandom. It’s sometimes when you play Pokemon Go you see the Pokemon you’re catching in your camera and they appear in your real world like a VR some shit whatever. So it’s a Bulbasaur with a little heart over its head just chilling in what I’m assuming is their room.

SARAH: 4.25.

KAYLA: Why?

SARAH: I said so.

KAYLA: You’re not even paying attention.

SARAH: I got distracted. It’s been a while. How many more do we have?

KAYLA: Several. I have one that I want to end on so we can get to that. 

SARAH: Go to that!

KAYLA: Okay.

SARAH: Sorry for anyone we missed or skipped.

KAYLA: Oh this is — we have to do Eliott’s. This is from Eliott @SockfaceSimpson “which Sonic boy would date you?” It’s a quiz.

SARAH: Zero.

KAYLA: I also have to give it a zero. This feels very horny.

SARAH: Yeah, for Sonic. 

KAYLA: Sorry Eliott. There’s some really good ones here I apologize to everyone. Maybe we’ll have to do this again because people are as we record, sending in so many pictures.

SARAH: Some of these are really excellent.
KAYLA: Where’s the one that I want?

SARAH (singing): You’re the one that I want, you are the one I want ooh ooh honey. You’re all I need, always neeed.

KAYLA: It’s from @lewisrllw, it says “rate my man Plum” and it's picture of their Professor Plum figurine from the board game Clue. This one really got me. I think he’s gay but I also think he’s ace.

SARAH: He’s a gay ace!

KAYLA: Professor Plum is 100% a gay ace. Look at him. Look at this man and tell me he’s not a gay ace.

SARAH: That man could not be more gay ace.

KAYLA: I just — ”rate my man Plum!” Should we just do one where decide which board game characters are ace and/or aro because I feel like we could get very far.

SARAH: I think Ms. Scarlet is aro/ace. 

KAYLA: Kind of like a —

SARAH: Like a Jessica Rabbit situation.

KAYLA: Like and subscribe, should we do an episode where we rate board game characters?

SARAH: Mrs Hand on the Butt Lady also known to many as Mrs. White I think —

KAYLA: We can’t just do them all now Sarah, this needs to be a whole episode, shut your mouth.

SARAH: Colonel Mustard is aggressive heterosexual.

KAYLA: We can get Candyland up in here.

SARAH: We could rate the monopoly — the Thimble and the little—

KAYLA: Stop. A future episode, it’s happening. Anyway, that’s our man Plum. I’ll leave him here while we do the ending of the episode cause I love my man Plum. 

SARAH: Excellent. Wonderful.

KAYLA: Sorry to everyone whose pictures we didn’t use. Truly so many more people responded within several hours than I had expected. 

(1:00:00)

SARAH: Yup. So we’ll maybe do this again. Thank you for your lovely submissions. Sorry, my computer froze. Okay, here we go. What’s our poll for this week?

KAYLA: Rate my man Plum! Maybe I’ll just go back and find that tweet and I will say “rate my man Plum.”
SARAH: The poll for this week is, rate my man Plum.

KAYLA: TBD on how I’m going to make that work.

SARAH: Kayla what’s your beef and your juice this week?

KAYLA: Hold on let me write this.

SARAH: Well I didn’t write down any beef or juice but I have beef and juice. My beef is so I’m back home in Michigan, and I tried to get a COVID test Sunday and they couldn’t cause they were like, “it’s raining” and I’m like “what is this? Fucking SoCal you can’t administer tests in the rain?” So then I went again on Monday and I had to drive around the block a bunch of times because they were like, “the line is full.” And then finally I went and got my test and I couldn’t find a pen and my dad told me where the pen was. And then I did the test and they were like, “you’ll find your results in 24-48 hours.” I did that Monday morning, it’s currently Friday at 2.43 pm. Guess who does not have her COVID test results back? Meee.

KAYLA: Saraaaah.

SARAH: And I was supposed to meet my sister’s dog on Wednesday and that didn’t happen cause my test results didn’t come back and we’re supposed to go over to her place to eat dinner tomorrow but if my test results don’t come back we can’t do that. And I’m supposed to see my friend Miranda this weekend. Anyway, yall, fuckin’ wear a mask. There’s been a huge spike in cases and testing which is why it’s taking so long. Very suddenly they need to be testing fucking everyone. So I’m — hopefully, by the time you hear this I will have gotten my results back. And also by the way, I don’t think I have COVID, it’s just a precautionary thing, I was on some planes and some airports. Just being safe, y’know.

KAYLA: She’s just being safe. 

SARAH: And I’d like to stop walking around my own house with my mask on. My juice is guess what Kayla?

KAYLA: I have nooo idea.

SARAH: Kayla what’s my juice?

KAYLA: I don’t know.

SARAH: New BTS album came out. It’s very emo. It’s very quarantine emo. But you know what, it’s excellent. I’ve had a grand time. That’s it.

KAYLA: Mm kay. My beef is that I’m still unemployed. I asked my local witches to manifest me a job, they have not been doing a good job. So that sucks because now I just sit in this hotel alone while Dean goes to work. My juice is, I feel like I just had one. My juice is —

SARAH: Her juice is killing me first in Among Us. 

KAYLA: My juice is Among Us. We played Among Us with some of our friends from college and my co-podcasters from my D&D podcast Into the Gridge, check it out very good — and we were playing Among Us and I killed Sarah first and got away with it it was very exciting.

SARAH: On multiple occasions.

KAYLA: Yes.

SARAH: So then I killed her first and I also got away with that. 

KAYLA: You know. Just podcast cohost thing.

SARAH: Excellent, alright. You can tell us your beef, your juice, your thoughts on the new BTS album, rate my man Plum on our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have a Patreon - patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Again, where there’s going to be a video of us doing this so you can see our faces and you can see how many times we yawned during this episode. If you would be so lovely and able to give us money, theoretically you could give us money to watch this video and then not revoke your patronage.

KAYLA: That seems like a lot.

SARAH: Seems like a lot of effort though. Our Our $5 patrons are Jennifer Smart, Asritha Vinnakota, Austin Le, Perry Fiero, Dee, Quinn Pollock, Emily Collins, Bookmarvel, Changeling MX, Derrick and Carissa, Simona Sajmon, Jamie Jack, Jessica Shea, Ria Faustino, Daniel Walker, Livvy, Madeline Askew, Lily, James, Corinne, AliceIsInSpace, Skye Simpson, Brooke Siegel, Ashley W, Savannah Cozart, Harry Haston-Dougan, SOUP, Amanda Kyker, Vishakh, Jacob Weber, Rory, Amberle Istar, Rachel, Kate Costello, John, Ariel Laxo, Ellie, Tessa, MattiousT and Courtney Pritchard. 

KAYLA: That sounded incredibly painful.

SARAH: I didn’t breathe ahead of time as I should have but I decided I wanted to do it in one breath anyway. Anyway Courtney Pritchard is new, thank you Courtney.

KAYLA: Thank you Courtney, sorry Sarah couldn’t say your name. 

SARAH: Our $10 patrons are Arcnes who would like to promote the Trevor Project, Benjamin Ybarra who would like to promote Tabletop Games, anonymous who would like to promote spooky Halloween which is TODAY, Sarah McCoy who would like to promote Podcast From Planet Weird, my Aunt Jeannie who would like to promote Christopher’s Haven, Cassandra who would like to promote their modeling Instagram @liddowred, Doug Rice who would like to promote the book "Native" by Kaitlin Curtice, Maggie Capalbo who would like to promote her dogs Leia, Minnie, and Max, H. Valdís, Purple Chickadee who would like to promote ichliebevogel.wordpress.com, Barefoot Backpacker — did he send us new things to promote?

KAYLA: Maybe I’ll look.

SARAH: We’ll come back to that. Ashlynn Boedecker, who is @shlynnbo everywhere, The Steve who would like to promote Ecosia, Ari K. who would like to promote — did Ari K. list what to promote?

KAYLA: Were they supposed to?

SARAH: They sometimes do. Oh they would like to promote the horror movie reviewer NyxFears and Mattie who would like to promote The Union Series by T.H. Hernandez. Barefoot Backpacker, I’m just going to promote you. 

KAYLA: Mm, what day is this coming out?

SARAH: Sunday.

KAYLA: The number.

SARAH: 22.

KAYLA: Barefoot Backpacker would like to promote the letters S and K and the number 4. 

SARAH: That’s better than anything I could have come up with. Good sir. Our $15 patrons are Nathaniel White - NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, my mom Julie who would like to promote Free Mom Hugs, Sara Jones who is @eternalloli everywhere, Dia Chappell who would like to promote the Underrealm series by Garret Robinson, Andy A who would like to promote Being in unions and IWW, Martin Chiesel who would like to promote mental health, and Miranda Denton who would like to promote Casa Q, Leila who would like to promote her Instagram @leilaofpaper, thank you for joining the party Leila that’s L-e-i-l-a, and Dragonfly who would like to promote appreciating that your listeners find it amusing how quickly you read all the names and not annoying that the names take so long. 

KAYLA: Or, annoying that their names aren’t read slowly with more care.

SARAH: There’s a precarious balance. 

KAYLA: Listen.

SARAH: Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears and thank you for voting for us in the Discover Pods Awards, we appreciate it.

KAYLA: True, and until then, take good care of your cows. Whenever you fuck it up I don’t remember what to say.