Sounds Fake But Okay
Sounds Fake But Okay
Ep 1: Dick Pics
A first mini-episode introduction to Sounds Fake But Okay. On this episode: people like dick pics? The girls do their best to understand what people find appealing about these weird pics.
Episode transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/dick-pics
Donate: patreon.com/soundsfakepod
Follow: @soundsfakepod
Join: https://discord.gg/W7VBHMt
Buy our book: www.soundsfakepod.com/book
(0:00)
SARAH: Hey what's up hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I'm Sarah. That's me.)
KAYLA: ...and me Kayla, a straight girl.
SARAH: talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, people like dick pics.
ALL: Sounds fake, but okay.
KAYLA: So hey, welcome to the first episode of Sounds Fake But Okay. We should probably, um, introduce what we're doing here and why. So me and Sarah have been college roommates for like forever?
SARAH: Too long!
KAYLA: And Sarah recently in the past like year, you came out.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah. And so we... for a while I was the only one that knew.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: So we talked about it a lot. And then I recently started dating someone and so Sarah sometimes just texts me and will ask me weird questions about just things that she doesn't understand as an ace person that sound fake to her.
SARAH: Yeah. So for those of you who don't understand what aro-ace means, aro is short for aromantic, which means I do not have romantic attraction to anyone of any gender. And then ace is short for asexual, which means I do not have sexual attraction to anyone of any gender. Which puts me in a weird position, and I don't understand a lot of things.
KAYLA: Yeah. So sometimes Sarah will just randomly text me and be like "Why do people like kissing?" Or just anything like that and so recently... I really like podcasts, so recently I was like Sarah let's just make a podcast. And I was like it'd be really funny because sometimes I tell people like my boyfriend about the questions Sarah asks me and they're like "Why?" They just think it's funny because I feel like a lot of things me and Sarah don't understand are very normal to other people. So... interesting!
SARAH: Yeah. So as such, we do have a few quick disclaimers. All opinions here are our own and only our own, we do not speak for our entire sexuality or communities, but from our own perspectives. We know that none of these things are actually fake (laughs), and just because we don't understand them doesn't mean they're not valid, but nonetheless, we'd like to talk about them and explore them a little bit and figure some stuff out.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So that's why we're here.
KAYLA: Woo! So dick pics.
SARAH: Dick pics.
KAYLA: I think I've only seen one fleeting dick pic. I've never been sent an unsolicited one.
SARAH: Yeah same.
KAYLA: One time I had a friend who was showing me a picture on his phone and he was swiping through and then all of a sudden there was...
SARAH: A dick.
KAYLA: A little bit... just a dick. And it was a very weird pose, I wish I could recreate for people to see.
SARAH: You wish you could?
KAYLA: Well I just wish people that were listening could just understand how weird of a pose it was.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Cause it wasn't just like the camera was pointed at his dick.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: It was like gymnastics.
SARAH: Alright.
KAYLA: And I was like oh there is a dick.
SARAH: That is a dick.
KAYLA: And we weren't sure if it was his or someone else's but we were like we're just gonna not talk about it!
SARAH: We're just gonna move on.
KAYLA: So yeah it just... I think you texted me about this. Did you text me about this?
SARAH: Yeah because my question is is if someone who is attracted to the male gender or are attracted to people who have dicks, if you just look at a dick pic are you just like "Woo! I gotta get on that now." (laughs)
KAYLA: Just looking... Cause that's just like... It's just like a body part. It's like "Ooo that elbow" like what?
SARAH: Yeah. I'm gonna be honest, I am very sorry if you disagree or if you have a dick and take offense to this, I think dicks are pretty gross looking.
KAYLA: See, I disagree with you because I think vaginas are the worst thing in the world.
SARAH: I think they're both gross looking.
KAYLA: Okay, well my thing is like... this makes me sound like "Vaginas are gross and I hate being a woman!" Like, I support vagina havers and I don't think periods are... like periods are natural, whatever. But the fact that it's just like an open hole. This is getting pretty graphic (laughs).
SARAH: (laughs) We have gone in a very different direction.
KAYLA: At least a dick is contained, you know? It's like... it's just.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Anyway.
SARAH: I just... But yeah, I just don't understand the whole, you know, looking at a dick. Do you just... are you just ready to go? Are you just...? Not sure. So I asked you about it.
KAYLA: Yeah, and I was like I personally don't think I would be because I've never been sent a dick pic and I've never been like "Man..."
SARAH: I want one of those.
KAYLA: I feel like maybe if I was in a situation where I was already like doing sexual things...
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Or doing whatever that it might just like go with it? But I don't think it alone could be like "Wow, I'm just ready for that..."
(5:00)
SARAH: Look at that human body part.
KAYLA: "...specimen" (laughs). There it is. We texted my friend about it because we were like "We need someone that I know likes dicks because had a dick pic on his phone."
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I'm not gonna say his name because that sounds rude. So I texted him about it, I'll pull out the text because I was just reading them and they were really funny because I asked him...
SARAH: For reference, he's gay, correct?
KAYLA: He's gay, he's very gay and he's quite sex-positive. So I asked him like what is the appeal of dick pics and does it just turn you on? And he asked me a reverse question "Why aren't you attracted to it?" And I was like well...
SARAH: So many reasons.
KAYLA: So many reasons. First of all...
SARAH: But also, it is hard to explain!
KAYLA: Yeah!
SARAH: Like it is hard to explain to someone why you do or do not find something attractive. It's just like...
KAYLA: Like I had to explain it to him a lot to get him to like understand the question I was asking. And I was like well I'm like maybe demi because I feel like sometimes I might be demi-straight which means I like have to be romantically and emotionally attached to someone before I'm like sexually attracted to them.
SARAH: Right, it doesn't just mean that you wait until you're emotionally attracted to have sex, it means you're not even attracted to them sexually until you have formed that romantic bond.
KAYLA: Right. So sometimes I feel like I might be that and so I was like well that seems like a reason because I'm not emotionally attracted to that dick without a person like I need that dick attached...
SARAH: Just a dick floating in space (laughs).
KAYLA: (laughs) I need that dick attached to someone who like took my to dinner, you know? So then he was like "I'm at work, I'll text you later" (laughs). So he did say that if he got a dick pic right away when he was on Grindr that he just blocked them because... I mean that does seem rude.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: To just... I mean unsolicited dick pics I...
SARAH: Not okay.
KAYLA: I'm not here for because come on guy, does it take you that long to like ask "Hey! Would you sir like dick pic?"
SARAH: (In a fancy proper voice) "Would you care for my dick on your screen?" (laughs).
KAYLA: (In a fancy proper voice) "Why yes sir I do!" Just kidding, no I don't. So then he said so yeah, if it's right off a dick he's like maybe not.
SARAH: Right, right.
KAYLA: (laughs) Right off a dick!
SARAH: Right off a dick.
KAYLA: Fresh off a dick (laughs). So he said it depends on who sends it but if he knows the guy and likes him then like yeah. He would not like random dicks, but if there was some level of emotion and intimacy then like okay.
SARAH: I'm just now thinking of random dicks (laughs) as the name of a band.
KAYLA: That's our new band name.
SARAH: Hi I'm the lead singer for
ALL: Random Dicks.
KAYLA: That just sounds like you're a random group of like awful people.
SARAH: Or just people named Richard (laughs).
KAYLA: Oh noooo, everyone in the band has to be named Richard.
SARAH: Amazing.
KAYLA: So anyway, but like he said if he did see the guy, if he just like was like just knew the guy well enough, had been talking for a while, was like... you know.
SARAH: Here's a dick!
KAYLA: (laughs) Here's a dick! Yeah, if liked them and had like a history with him he was like "Yeah, I'd be comfortable with it." But he is aroused by dick pics in the right context. So it's not exactly it's just a dick.
SARAH: It's not like...
KAYLA: Like it couldn't be any dick.
SARAH: ...you know, person with dick sees another dick and they are attracted to the dick. I just used that word a lot.
KAYLA: Yeah (laughs).
SARAH: They see it and suddenly they are just, you know...
KAYLA: Ready.
SARAH: Ready to go.
KAYLA: But like if it's someone that he's like hooking up with or talking to and like would maybe want to sext, he's like "Yeah, just looking at the dick pic" I guess is arousing.
SARAH: And I imagine it would be the same for straight girls who are into like... and not all, you know, straight girls are necessarily going to be into that, but those who are I would imagine they would feel the same.
KAYLA: Yeah, and I mean I'm sure it's different for every person. I'm sure there is a person out there that just could look at any dick and is like "I'm ready!"
SARAH: Ready to go (laughs).
KAYLA: And awesome for you, because sometimes like getting aroused might be hard. And if you can just look at a dick and be aroused, like you know what? That sounds great.
SARAH: Congratulations!
KAYLA: Like I bet your sex life is probably pretty neat (laughs).
SARAH: Pretty neat.
KAYLA: Pretty neat! But I thought that was interesting because he was talking about Grindr a lot and I've seen his Grindr, and to me it is terrifying.
SARAH: Yeah?
KAYLA: Because there's no faces on it, it's only naked torsos that are like really like oiled up and like tan and just like...
SARAH: Wow, that would make me run in the other direction.
KAYLA: But like so it's a very sexual place. And like you only... it's not... I mean I feel like a lot of dating apps are mostly just for like hookups and stuff (laughs) I did so well with that.
SARAH: Lolz.
KAYLA: But yeah, it's like you only hook up with people, and if you don't wanna hook up with someone they're like "No, I don't wanna talk to you."
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: (Whispering) I just.... what?
SARAH: So I guess... I dunno. Just don't know. My question is then, okay the... if you're a person with a vagina... I mean generally, the equivalent of a dick pic is more of like a boob situation.
KAYLA: Like a nude.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: A tasteful nude.
(10:00)
SARAH: A tasteful nude. But like do girls just like every just be like "here's a picture of my vaginaaaa!"
KAYLA: Just straight vagina, I'd say probably not.
SARAH: I dunno. I mean I would say probably not at a dick pic, too.
KAYLA: I guess, but like I feel like are always like "Ooo girl send nudes." No one is like "Send me a vagina pic."
SARAH: "Send me a picture directly up your vagina."
KAYLA: Because like no one wants to see that. But also no one wants to see a dick pic in my opinion. So I wonder why guys don't send some tasteful nudes.
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: Because I wouldn't be as mad at that I don't think. Cause then I could like see your face and be like "Awww I love that face."
SARAH: I wonder if it also has anything to do with the fact that like heteronormatively, sex is quote on quote for the pleasure of the guy over the girl. So like ye old peen (laughs) is glorified, whereas the vayanya is just, you know, along for the ride.
KAYLA: Just like... it's just...
SARAH: You don't need to see it.
KAYLA: I mean you don't need to see it, you just need to use it.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: It's like the boobs that you like see.
SARAH: Yeah, that's true.
KAYLA: Wow, that's kinda sad. Maybe we should like vagina pics (laughs). They sound gross cause I think vaginas are nasty, which is probably why I'm not a lesbian.
SARAH: Tell us what you think! Soundsfakepod@gmail.com tell us how you would feel about ye old...
KAYLA: Dick pic.
SARAH: Dick pic, but also...
KAYLA: A vagina!
SARAH: ...just a vagina pic.
KAYLA: A vayanya pic.
SARAH: A vayanya pic.
KAYLA: So yeah, we have an email so soundsfakepod@gmail.com.
SARAH: We also have a Twitter @soundsfakepod. It's a good time.
KAYLA: So if you have like questions or like topics you want us to chat about.
SARAH: All of our three listeners. Let us know (laughs).
KAYLA: Our huge fan base. Let us know, send us questions, send us your opinions about dicks and vaginas. Can leave us a review on iTunes, type 1 in it if you want a dick pic, and 2 if you want a vagina pic.
SARAH: And 3 if you want neither. And 4 if you want
ALL: Both.
KAYLA: Mhm, mhm. I like it. And don't even write anything in the review, maybe... just maybe...
SARAH: Just number?
KAYLA: Maybe just give us however many stars you want and then just put the number.
SARAH: And then just a number.
KAYLA: And then we'll know and then we'll feel...
SARAH: And any random person stumbling upon our podcast will be extremely confused...
KAYLA: They'll think we're just the illuminate.
SARAH: But listen, first episode we already have a niche joke (laughs) this is perfect.
KAYLA: See this is how you build your fan base.
SARAH: Exactly.
KAYLA: You get those fandom jokes, you know?
SARAH: But yeah, that was just a little taste, I think...
KAYLA: A little boop.
SARAH: Of what this podcast is gonna be. I think we're gonna try and do it somewhat regularly if we can.
KAYLA: Yeah, we'll do our best.
SARAH: We have a whole list of topics that I have previously asked about or just other stuff we've talked about.
KAYLA: So once Sarah and I live down the hall from each other again.
SARAH: Right (laughs). So close! But yeah, we're gonna hopefully keep doing this. It's a good time, I hope all three of our viewers... viewers?
KAYLA: Viewers!
SARAH: Listeners also think it's a good time. Um so yeah.
KAYLA: See ya later! (laughs)
SARAH: We did not think about how to conclude this (laughs).
KAYLA: (screeches)
SARAH: That's it.
KAYLA: 'kay bye!
SARAH: Bye.
