Hey what's up hello! This week we're talking about the very stupid concept of a body count AKA how many people you've had sex with and the dangers of using body count as a stand-in for the value someone puts on sex
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/body-count
Content Notice: Harmful stereotypes about mental illness, general discussions of sex, mentions of sexism
Donate: patreon.com/soundsfakepod
Follow: @soundsfakepod
Join: https://discord.gg/W7VBHMt
www.soundsfakepod.com
Buy our book: www.soundsfakepod.com/book
Hey what's up hello! This week we're talking about the very stupid concept of a body count AKA how many people you've had sex with and the dangers of using body count as a stand-in for the value someone puts on sex
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/body-count
Content Notice: Harmful stereotypes about mental illness, general discussions of sex, mentions of sexism
Donate: patreon.com/soundsfakepod
Follow: @soundsfakepod
Join: https://discord.gg/W7VBHMt
www.soundsfakepod.com
Buy our book: www.soundsfakepod.com/book
[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace Girl, I’m Sarah that's me
KAYLA: And a bi demisexual, girl that's me Kayla
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand
KAYLA: On today's episode, body count
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod
KAYLA: Recording by the light of day
SARAH: By the light of day, you will never believe it
KAYLA: I can see everything, I’m feeling awake, I just had a caffeine
SARAH: I love this for you
KAYLA: It's only 3 PM
SARAH: Yeah, on a weekday
KAYLA: On a weekday
SARAH: Because my boss was just like… and I was like, okay
KAYLA: Was it like because it's Good Friday or just?
SARAH: Yeah, and like some other places around…
KAYLA: Does he do Good Friday?
SARAH: No, he's Jewish
KAYLA: That's what I thought, okay. Well, I love that for you
SARAH: But here we are, I mean I did… I was still working this morning though
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I wasn't at work
KAYLA: I wasn't uh because I don't have a job
SARAH: Because you're unemployed?
KAYLA: I’m unemployed. Great. Just your weekly reminder
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: My favorite thing to do recently, two things, first, uh is when people complain about their jobs I like to say, “at least you have one” because it makes them really uncomfortable and I find that funny
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Uh and also, I’ve had some like preliminary job interviews this week which has been exciting uh when they asked you like why are you leaving your company and I’ll be like oh like I… we went through layoffs and it also makes the hiring manager really uncomfortable because they are not expecting that and they feel bad for you but also, it's like they have to keep doing their job
SARAH: Yep
KAYLA: Uh and it's honestly really enjoyable to watch because then it also… I don't… like makes it… I don't know for some reason it like shifts the power balance
SARAH: It shifts the dynamic, yeah, it's like they feel bad for you
KAYLA: No, yeah, and like because they falter it's like a little bit more like okay, they're a human I don't know it's like a very… it's really fun to… I don't know, anyway
SARAH: I love that for you
KAYLA: Thank you
SARAH: I got blocked by Scooter Braun on Twitter this morning…
KAYLA: I saw, I’m so happy for you
SARAH: I saw that my friend had tweeted something at him and gotten blocked almost immediately so I was like, he's online
KAYLA: He’s here
SARAH: And…
KAYLA: Did you tweet him immediately?
SARAH: I agreed with what she said so I just reiterated what she said and I was like, “hey, I saw that you blocked my friend for this but like I just wanted to like really point out…” you know
KAYLA: Awesome, love that
SARAH: Yeah, um and I actually… I wish I had like paid closer attention um because it was less than 10 minutes later, I was blocked but I wasn't even like I wasn't keeping an eye on it like I just like I went back and I was like, “oh I’m blocked now”
KAYLA: I… how many people do you think he has blocked?
SARAH: So many
KAYLA: Like thousands, right?
SARAH: It has got to be so many
KAYLA: I love that
SARAH: Like in the past of couple days he has been blocking people left and right
KAYLA: Yeah, well it makes… I’m sure he has like a bunch of Swifties blocked from like a couple years ago and now Army is coming after him, so there's like multiple fandoms I feel like that have come for him
SARAH: The Beliebers
KAYLA: The Beliebers, true
SARAH: The Arianators, whatever Demis fans are called
KAYLA: You're so right, wow, I’m so excited for you
SARAH: Thank you. And like I’m mostly in the army pocket of people yelling at him but it's also like all hype groups so it's like other K-pop fans also it's not just Army
KAYLA: Why is he even getting on Twitter anymore? Like, at that point
SARAH: I don't know
KAYLA: Why are you even there?
SARAH: I don't know man
KAYLA: I love that
SARAH: He has his Instagram comments limited
KAYLA: I bet he does
SARAH: You know, he posted something that was definitely intended to kind of taunt Army a little bit um and I looked at the post about 30 minutes after he posted it and I looked in the comments and there were some comments that made it through that were like you're a piece of shit, you literally have photos of yourself with Benjamin Netanyahu on your Instagram right now
KAYLA: Yikes
SARAH: Like, no. And so, I liked a bunch of them and then like five minutes later I went back to the post and all of them were gone
KAYLA: I bet
SARAH: So
KAYLA: Oh man, what a time
SARAH: Anyway, fuck that guy
KAYLA: Sure, yeah
SARAH: They had another truck outside this morning actually I was having their shareholder meeting today and so they had a truck outside the shareholder meeting but it seems like they reinstated Mr. Scooter
KAYLA: Boo
SARAH: Boo. Also, they um are merging with UMG and the CEO of UMG is accused in the Diddy case, so, things are going really well
KAYLA: Hopefully, yeah
SARAH: It's really great when all the members of BTS are in the military and um can't really wield their power in the company
KAYLA: Yeah, that's so interesting the timing of all this
SARAH: It is really fun
KAYLA: How convenient
SARAH: And the tagline for the company is… um, well I guess I suppose they changed it, which makes… okay it's currently, ‘We Believe in Music’ but previously and I think in some places it still says “artists for music and healing”
KAYLA: Yeah, can't do that
SARAH: And people are like, “what happened to that?”
KAYLA: She's gone
SARAH: Anyway, anyway, anyway let's do a podcast. What are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week we're talking about the body count
SARAH: The body count, indeed. What is the body count?
KAYLA: That’s a good question
SARAH: Because when people say body count my initial thought is…
KAYLA: Murder
SARAH: People killed
KAYLA: Right, um, I suppose that that is still a definition in some areas but for our purposes it is how many people you have had sex with
SARAH: Every time I’m just like, “murder?”
KAYLA: I know
SARAH: And that…
KAYLA: Literally…
SARAH: Tells you a lot about my brain
KAYLA: So, I thought of this because I saw a post about body counts in the asexuality Reddit and also it just made me think of like other areas that I’ve been like hearing people talk about body count a lot and a lot of the comments… there's a lot of comments on this post in Reddit and there are several posts about murder, so
SARAH: Yeah, yeah, I was I was looking up some stuff and one of them was like a Reddit post that was just like, “what do you think is a high body count?” like what…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: What counts as a high body count and um the top comment is, “I’m not at liberty to discuss the amount of bodies in my backyard, good day, sir” so
KAYLA: I love that. Yeah, I think for me the place that I’ve been hearing body count talked about the most because like I don't… no one in my actual life talks about that because I’m not 16
SARAH: Don't hate on 16-year-olds like that some of them know better
KAYLA: You’re right, 18, but I watch a lot…
SARAH: How does that make it any better?
KAYLA: Because now it… because then it's legal
SARAH: Because now they're an adult?
KAYLA: Because now they're an adult. Anyway, a 16-year-old should not be talking about body count, anyway
SARAH: I would argue no one should but here we are
KAYLA: No one should, but yes, but yeah
SARAH: Here we are, a whole episode about it
KAYLA: Yeah, I watch a lot of Cody Ko videos where he reacts to like The Button, do you know what The Button is?
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Okay, it's a YouTube show by one of… I don't remember…
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: Yes, where the people sit down and they like go on a speed date and then if they like want to reject the person they like press the button so it's like right in front of their face just like, “goodbye”
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, it's like shows like that, he does like reaction videos to online dating shows like that and it's really interesting to hear like a lot of people ask each other very similar questions about like, “what's your type?” or like “when's the…” like, “what's the longest relationship you've been into?” like “what are your red flags?” whatever all the various stereotypical questions but one that comes up often is body count and it's very interesting to see how people react to being asked that and like what people's reactions are to different numbers whether they're like, “oh that's like too low or too high”
SARAH: Too low?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: I guess the thought process is like you must not be good enough at sex then?
KAYLA: No, there was one guy who I think like they…
SARAH: You're not desirable, there's something wrong with you?
KAYLA: Like the button asked them about, like the voice inside the button asked the people about their body count and the girl was like, “oh, like a lady never tells” and then the guy was like, “six” and she was like, “six?” and I was like, “okay”
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: I don't understand
KAYLA: I don't either but like I don't know it doesn't make… I mean, a lot of things about modern dating do not make sense to me
SARAH: And that's why we have this podcast
KAYLA: And that's why we have this podcast, but like I don't… okay I understand wanting to know the sexual experience of the person you are dating for a multitude of reasons if sex is very important to you, I can understand wanting to be like, “I don't want you to be like a virgin, I want someone that's like equally as experienced”
SARAH: I don't want to have to be the person…
KAYLA: Like teaching you
SARAH: Like holding your hand through this
KAYLA: Right, like… yeah, so, I can understand that like sex is really important to me in relationships I want to date someone who sex is important to them like I want us to be on a similar level.
[00:10:00]
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I get that, I also get like if you are someone who does not want to have sex that you want to make sure your priorities are on the same level there also. So, like I get it. I guess I get it that stuff is important but I don't see how like the number of bodies is helpful to figuring those values out
SARAH: It kind of just becomes a stand-in
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Where it's like if it's in this range I consider that acceptable if it's outside of this range I consider it unacceptable
KAYLA: Yeah, because like in some ways I guess I can see how the information would be helpful if it's too many bodies but that's also incredibly subjective
SARAH: It is
KAYLA: But like if you are looking for like a very serious relationship and this person very clearly has like a lot of casual sex then maybe again that's like your values are not matching
SARAH: Yeah. Well, because I… when I was just looking up stuff about this I found this post from Reddit it's um r/changemyview and this person is saying that body count does matter especially when looking for long-term relationships. “When trying to date someone, high body count is a red flag because that person is already dated hooked up a lot and probably has an issue with commitment when I’m looking for long term. Also a lot of mental health disorders mostly the severe one include sexual hyper sexuality impulsivity slash risk taking as a symptom when I read that I was like yeah that could be a reason why a person might have a high body count you should take that into consideration but this person is like, I don't want anyone who has a mental health disorder therefore-” what? Anyway, continuing…
KAYLA: That's really fucked up
SARAH: “Also, for people with body counts of over 20 with that level of impulsivity and risk taking do you really think that person you hardly know was responsible and use protection for every single time” blah blah blah
KAYLA: This all feels very discriminatory
SARAH: It does. “This whole body count positivity movement and debate mostly relies on the whole, ‘why can men have as much sex as they want but women can't’ argument but my argument thinking… argument slash thinking goes for both genders”
KAYLA: I hate all of that
SARAH: Me too. The top comment is they say “the problem with this assumption is that priorities change but you can't undo the body the quote unquote body count”
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: “So, if hypothetically I’m single in my 20s and not looking for a long-term relationship casual hookups are likely to be preferred to long-term commitments that's likely to result in a large number of sex of casual sexual partners it doesn't mean I’m impulsive it doesn't mean I’m irresponsible and it doesn't mean I have a mental disorder it means I’m pursuing the types of relationships that I currently find preferable then I hit 30 or whatever and decide I would like a long-term commitment just because I didn't want one in the past I’m incapable of wanting one now? I can't undo the number of people I’ve had sex with but you're judging me for it even though I’ve changed what I’m looking for in a partner, explain how this is fair because if you're going to hold this over my head, I’m going to mark it as a red flag against the long-term viability of our relationship”
KAYLA: No, I think that's incredibly fair, that's one of the first things I thought about and I think something in some of the comments I was looking at was saying was that… okay, so this person basically just said “I don't care things change, people change, today is what matters” which like I think gets at the crux of what that person was saying that like your priorities about sex and the types of relationships you have can and probably will change throughout your life like that's just how it works and then yes holding a person accountable for like their past in that way is not helpful
SARAH: Yeah, I mean and this person like the OP replies and were like, “well, I’m in my early 20s and I was just like thinking of people my age” but it's like but you can still… you can still change your mind at that age like that…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: You know, like it's not like you can only have a change in priorities at 30
KAYLA: Yeah, I’m also seeing a lot of comments about how… like we were talking about how asking someone about their body count is often a stand-in for figuring out kind of their values and preferences around sex and there's a lot of really good comments about how that just like does not actually line up. So, this person said, “I’m asexual in a relationship with an allo and my body count is higher than his so daily reminder that asexuals don't experience sexual attraction but attraction is not the same as libido or your interest in sex and I say that as a sex repulsed ace”
SARAH: This person says in response to that post, a lot of people are really reacting strongly to the like, oh mental disorders…
KAYLA: Yeah, fair
SARAH: Hyper sexuality because again when I first… I didn't read it in context at first like I just saw the words and I was like, “oh, that's an interesting point” because that could absolutely influence the number and then I read in the context it was written and I was like, “what the fuck is wrong with you?” anyway
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: This person goes, “why do you suppose someone who likes sex doesn't use condoms? that's fucking stupid on its face” um and this guy goes, “I like driving my car too I also always wear seat belts” go off. Also, this person was like “please provide evidence that links my enjoyment of sex to mental illness”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And then this person says, “are you seeking to have a relationship with murders and killers or something? how do you know how many people they've killed? or are you using body count to refer to something else entirely? What if I told you using body count to refer to those you've had sex with is in itself more of a red flag to most people than what you've posted here”
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean
SARAH: And this person says, “it sounds like it's not actually the number that matters to you, it's the mindset that leads to the numbers”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: “Like person A, has had six partners, they were at a point in their life where they decided it wasn't a good time for a serious relationship they wanted to focus on their career but still wanted to have sex they fully discussed with each partner that they weren't looking for relationship and practice safe sex every time person B, had 25 sexual partners they cheated on a long-term partner without protection they then start dating the side piece and cheats on them they ultimately become a serial cheater sometimes bouncing back between the same few partners, you would say that person B was a red flag and reasonably so. Now, switch the numbers but keep the same stories, who's the red flag? Both numbers are possible for either person it's the reason that matters you wouldn't just know the story by the number”
KAYLA: Very, very true
SARAH: What is a high body count?
KAYLA: I don't know, like I mean I think it definitely depends on your age
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Because… or like how many years you've been sexually active I guess but I don't even know where to begin with that
SARAH: And looking at this stuff it seems like no one can agree
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Like it really depends on your lifestyle and the lifestyle of people around you because like this person saying like context matters like if you're 40 and you've been single for 20 years a 20-body count could be very low if you're 18 and you've been sexually active for half a year it's pretty high and then someone goes, “in what world is 20 ever low? I would struggle to sleep with that many people in a lifetime” so like it's, I…
KAYLA: Well, it's also like… it depends so vastly on the way you view sex and where… what you think sex is
SARAH: How you define sex, yeah
KAYLA: And where… like what context you're having sex in, are you only having sex in relationships? Are you doing casual hookups? Are you in the kink community and you're going to like play parties and you're a swinger and so then you're having like orgies and so like in one night you're hitting twenty
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It's like… it's so dependent
SARAH: And also, in that circumstance how many of those count as bodies for you as an individual
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Like if you're…
KAYLA: What is sex to you?
SARAH: If you're all part of the activity does that make all of them bodies?
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: Or you know like it's there's…
KAYLA: Yeah, it doesn't, I… yeah, I don't even know where to begin with that, like I don't know what people view as like… even in terms of like numbers of partners or like as getting even more like simple as like how many people you've kissed like I know several people and especially in college that kept like kiss lists which was like a fun silly thing to do like every time they like made out with someone at a party or whatever, they'd like add it to their little list and it was like a cute thing there wasn't like harmful intent behind it
SARAH: It was just like a silly little
KAYLA: Yeah, it was just like a silly little thing, but it's like I don't… first of all, I’m bad at conceptualizing numbers, second of all, I think like as a demi person I’m just like not… I don't I don't know
SARAH: Yeah, this person says, “fortunately my best friend told me that bad sex doesn't count so I’m still counting on one hand over here”
KAYLA: That is funny, because that's the thing too, is like if you're using body count to understand like, okay, they've had sex with 20 people that must mean they're really experienced, they could still be so, so, bad at sex
SARAH: Oh yeah
KAYLA: So bad
SARAH: Yeah. I think the real question with body count is just like how frequently do you find new sex partners and under what circumstances
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And then you can judge whether that aligns with your preferred lifestyle or not, it's not necessarily that one… that it's like a bad or a good judgment
KAYLA: Yeah, like obviously I don't think either of us think that any of these options are like morally incorrect
SARAH: I think sometimes just like the societal implication is that more is worse
KAYLA: Right
SARAH: And I’m just clarifying for the listener, we don't necessarily agree with that
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Shocking, we don't agree with society
KAYLA: Who would have thought? No, I think it's completely dependent and I think like you said everyone has different lifestyles, everyone values sex differently in their relationships being aspec or not like that comment said you can be aspec and have way more sex than an allo person like it's not… That has nothing to do with it
[00:20:00]
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But people value different things in relationships and so like it's frustrating because I think this is a very important thing to talk about when entering… especially into committed relationships I think like a casual hookup I don't know that you really need to know a person's philosophy about that kind of thing if you're not looking to form like a long-term something
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But like in a relationship it makes sense that you would want to know a person's values about everything when it comes to a relationship and using body count as a shorthand for that I think is so unhelpful because then you could just be like well, I asked them their body count and now we don't need to talk about this anymore I’m just going to assume that because they have a high body count they want to have sex all the time and so do I so this is going to be great and then it turns out that that's not the case and now what are we going to do?
SARAH: Right. And it's so often like used as judgment on women and not on men and so there's this this Quora question where it's just, “should I be bothered about my girlfriend's high body count?” first of all, no additional information
KAYLA: That’s great
SARAH: We don't even know how this person defines high body count like I…
KAYLA: Great, excellent
SARAH: And one of the responses is from this man who claims to be Orson Scott Card, it's not Orson Scott Card
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: He's a former professor, he retired in 2023 from Southern Virginia University, anyway… Hi, this is Sarah from the future, guys that is… I’m pretty sure that's the real Orson Scott Card, those of you don't know who that is, he's an author he wrote Ender's Game which as I recall was a really good book, but I just did some Googling on him and he is a Mormon and also, he's homophobic and apparently this comment is actually from… seems to actually be from him either that or someone who's very dedicated to imitating him on Quora. So, I… just can take that into consideration as you hear what he said, okay, thank you… He says, it depends how important it is to you to “boldly go where no man has gone before…”
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: “With experience, your girlfriend knows better how to please you and how to guide you in pleasing her”
KAYLA: That's not necessarily true
SARAH: “If your partner is completely inexperienced, sexual sensations can be disturbing and even scary and it takes time to get over the awkwardness, but at least she can't compare you to other men and find you lacking, if you are pleased by your girlfriend's company and you both want to build a marriage, her body count is as relevant as her measles and chicken pox as a child or her broken arms from the skating party last year…”
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: “Part of her past but not part of her present, only if there's one guy she never got over is there likely to be a problem.” This is a wild response
KAYLA: Okay, I was…
SARAH: There are tidbits in there that I agree with
KAYLA: Yeah, well, like that I agree with, like yes that is part of her past not her present, I agree with that but like the beginning… This guy is going all over the place
SARAH: Yeah, but I think a lot of it really is just about like sexual purity and like men…
KAYLA: Oh, 100%
SARAH: Wanting a sexually pure woman, whatever that means, but you also don't necessarily want a woman with no experience because then they can't please you as much as you want
KAYLA: Right, well, I think it goes for men too, I think there's also a view of like men should have like in the view of other men to be a good man you should have a higher body count
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And if you have a really low body count then you're like a loser
SARAH: And also, to impress other men and to be like hey look I can get bitches
KAYLA: Yeah, but then to a woman a high body count might be a little scary if you are like looking for something committed and someone has a high body count it's easy to make the jump of like they don't even think, you know, the incorrect assumption that that means whatever. So, I think it's bad on all sides for different reasons because it puts all these moral judgments on people and make like… Allows you to make assumptions about their… I don't like masculinity or femininity or like what their lifestyle is that's just like completely not…
SARAH: Yeah, well, and I’m looking at like related questions on Quora and it's, “is seven a high body count for a 20-year-old girl? I’m a 15-year-old girl and my body count is double digit is that really bad? What is considered a high body count for a female? Does it matter if a woman has a high body count? what is an acceptable body count for a woman?” Like no mention of men at all
KAYLA: No, no, no, no, no.
SARAH: So, sexism, the patriarchy
KAYLA: Who's surprised? Not me
SARAH: No one
KAYLA: It's so sad that a 15-year-old is already worried about that
SARAH: I know, it's like look, if you're having…
KAYLA: Or anything
SARAH: If you're having safe sex then…
KAYLA: Who cares?
SARAH: Live your life
KAYLA: Live your truth
SARAH: I found this person who did a survey
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: They have a medium post it's from @welcometothepeasantparty
KAYLA: Oh, thank you
SARAH: And this person was… she's just saying that like, you know, “I see a lot on TikTok people talking about body counts and the same… these people are often speaking in absolutes or painting everything in black and white.” Example of the types of statements that this person has seen made on TikTok have been like women who have a high body count will never find a husband, women should focus on qualities that make her wife material, men are not interested in women who are focused on their careers, men don't like loud women, blah blah blah all just like sexist absolute… absolutist bullshit so
KAYLA: Ew
SARAH: This person went to her Instagram and polled like people who follow her on Instagram and she said that she used Instagram versus TikTok because she wanted to ask people who like weren't already in the same space like on the same TikTok as her essentially so total participants 132, some did not answer all questions, 67 male 65 female which is a pretty good split, age range was 23 to 46 average age 30 so obviously this is very specific to just whoever's following her Instagram
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Like this is not science but it is interesting so she had some yes or no questions for “does body count matter?” 96% of the women said no, only 76% of the men said no
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: “Have you ever asked someone their body count in romantic context?” 59% of women said no, 71% of men said no, which implies that more women are asking men
KAYLA: Interesting
SARAH: But I think sometimes you don't have to ask for a body count to be asking that question. Like you can ask it in a way that's like implied like, “oh what's your history?”
KAYLA: Yeah, sure
SARAH: You know? Yeah. Next question is “at your current age would you ask someone their body count?” Female respondents 90% no, male respondents 98% no
KAYLA: Interesting
SARAH: So, those were like the yes or no questions
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And I also found an article from Mashable that was talking about E-Harmony did like new year's resolutions like a survey of new year's resolutions with its users and they're all just like about sex but um 67% of singles in this thing don't plan on asking their next partner how many people they slept with and only 24% think the number actually matters so like the implication is the importance to society seems to be going down
KAYLA: Okay, that's good
SARAH: So, that it is interesting also that like at your current age slash life stage like most of… almost all of them were like, “no I wouldn't ask that question”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, then we have some… Oh, this is interesting. Okay, we have qualitative questions and responses
KAYLA: I love that
SARAH: Question number 1a, “is there a number that's too high?” and these people had to provide an actual number
KAYLA: Ooh
SARAH: So, 11 people responded to this question because not everyone responded to every question
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: The numbers provided were 25
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Several people said 30, a couple people said 40 and of those people all of them said that body count mattered
KAYLA: Interesting
SARAH: 70 and then there were four people who said like triple digits
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: And of those four two of them said body count mattered
KAYLA: Interesting, okay
SARAH: What is interesting to me because like… I don't know. it's… I don't know
KAYLA: It's interesting to me that someone who… I think… Okay, in my mind if you care about body count usually you want it to be low. I feel like the people that really care are like looking for it to be low or else you're like a slut
SARAH: Yeah, but then also the question was phrased in such a way that like is there a number that's too high. So, like it's weird because on one hand like it's odd that two people who said triple digits was too high say that body count doesn't matter but they also said that triple digits was too high, but it's also weird to me that of the two people who do think body count matter and said triple digits was too high it's interesting to me that they say that body count matters but their…
KAYLA: Their bar is really high
SARAH: Their bar is so high, yeah
KAYLA: Yeah, it was not… Yeah, because like I said I feel like often the people that care about it most want you to have a low, right, yeah, body count
SARAH: Question 1b, these are the responses to that question that were qualitative, they were anecdotal
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Someone was like, context and details matter a lot. Someone said different for men and women which I have questions on that
KAYLA: That’s… Wow, what a thing to admit
SARAH: Someone just says, “if I never find out it doesn't matter”
KAYLA: Okay
[00:30:00]
SARAH: Which… Fair enough. “Sexual health history absolutely matters. The only bad number is zero protection,” those were two different ones but I think in the same realm
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: “There is no such thing as too high as long as it doesn't increase by more than one when I’m with them”
KAYLA: Okay, fair
SARAH: That's assuming you're exclusive but yes
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: “I don't care about numbers just as long as she hasn't hooked up with my friends”
KAYLA: Okay, fair
SARAH: Someone said regarding a number that's too high they said “mine, my number is too high”
KAYLA: Oh, well
SARAH: Which…
KAYLA: Nothing to do about that
SARAH: Maybe speak to a therapist, I don't know
KAYLA: If anything, that number is… like there's no way for the number to go down, you know, it's either going to stay the same or it's going to go up, so I don't know what to say about that
SARAH: I don’t know what to tell you, that's why maybe you should speak to a therapist about getting over that
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Rather than undoing it, because you can't
KAYLA: Yeah, unless you become like a born again, I guess but that's literally nothing
SARAH: Yeah, so then the question number two was “what other thoughts do you have on the matter?” Someone was like, “please say sexual partners and not body count” which…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Fair enough
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Someone said, “I had to google what body count meant, do kids actually call it that nowadays?”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: This person says “the idea of keeping a list is immature and cringe,” this says… This person says, “I take pride in keeping mine low,” I’m very curious about the gender of that person very, very curious
KAYLA: Yeah. I mean both ways it's bad but it definitely gives a different…
SARAH: It's a different… it changes the tune
KAYLA: Flavor to it
SARAH: Yeah. I like to ask just because I’m curious but it doesn't matter which…
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Is fair but just like definitely don't be doing that like super early, like first date be like, “hey, what's your body count?”
KAYLA: So, what's going on? Yeah
SARAH: And then when they're like, “oh that's a little weird of a question to ask on a first date”
KAYLA: Just curious
SARAH: And you're like, “oh, I’m just curious… I don't believe you”
KAYLA: No, if you're asked… yeah, no
SARAH: Even if that's the truth, later. Save it for later
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Somebody asked “is there a body count number that's too low?” Like does… do people like that exist ever? Someone said, “everyone deserves a hoe phase”
KAYLA: So true
SARAH: And then another person said, “test often.” So, the overwhelming sentiment pulled from both qualitative responses and DMs is that it matters less as you get older and people grow and change over time. One person said, “we are all sinners who are not defined by our past”
KAYLA: Okay, so true
SARAH: I have questions about how you define… We're moving on, that could be very innocuous, it could also be very insidious, I don't know
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: “I know people that had a lot of sex in college who are having very little sex now, I definitely used to care about this more, I would ask or be asked this in my early 20s but presumably not now.” “This used to matter to me and I used to ask and judge others for it and I regret doing that.” “This doesn't matter as much as it once did, I would be caught off guard if someone, 30 year or older asked me this”
KAYLA: Yeah, same
SARAH: People are allowed to live wild lives and then grow up who cares
KAYLA: Yeah, I will say this, like, jogged some memories for me, I do remember asking someone in college what like… I don't think I said body count, I think I asked them like how many people you've had sex with and the reason I cared was that I had not had sex with many people and like was very recently like demi and so I was like very nervous about not being experienced enough
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And like that's something that I obviously like don't care about now but being as young as I was…
SARAH: When you're in that situation you're like, you know
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: You don't want to feel like… Especially if you are – not me just like placing these feelings on you – but like I feel like if someone is demi or aspec in general and the person that you are with or you know going to be having sexual relations with is aware of that, I feel like there's extra pressure to not be bad because…
KAYLA: I can see that
SARAH: Because you're like…
KAYLA: Especially if they're coming in with like stereotypes or preconceived notions
SARAH: Right, like you don't want to be seen as like… You just don't want to be seen as like inexperienced or whatever. Like, I mean I saw… I had a similar thing when I had to do my first like stage kiss where I was like, I’ve never kissed anyone, I don't want her to know
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: that I’ve never kissed anyone. And like I… It's… I don't think that's necessarily like a bad… It can be like, oh I’m not good enough at sex but like I don't think it necessarily has to be um like a super insidious or like bad
KAYLA: No. I mean, I think… thinking about it from that lens and like just thinking about the mental state I was in, it makes sense to me why younger people care about it more because when I was younger and I was new to sex I was very like insecure about… like I was still… like that weird guy was saying on Quora like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: The awkwardness was still kind of there like it was a very new experience and so I was very self-conscious about like am I doing this right? Like am I good at this? Like are the people around me doing it more and so they're going to have like a different conception of how we should be doing this? Like
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: It's a lot, you know, especially like in college when people put so much importance on having sex
SARAH: And you're trying to figure out who you are and you're trying to figure out who you are in comparison to all the people around you
KAYLA: Yeah, like it's a lot, it's just a lot, being young is just a lot, I say as someone who's still currently young. It’s just a lot
SARAH: I was thinking about that the other day, I was like, at what point do I stop becoming a young person because I was listening to a podcast and they were talking about young voters and I was like…
KAYLA: Where are you?
SARAH: At what point am I not a young voter anymore?
KAYLA: It probably depends on how many times… like how many presidential elections you've gone through I would…
SARAH: I guess
KAYLA: I think there's actually… You could probably find like a pretty decent cutoff number for that
SARAH: Yeah, or like when my sister was visiting me, she was like, “I’ve started to worry about wrinkles” and I was like, “oh my God, same. I was looking up things to put on my…”
KAYLA: I think I said this on podcast, right? But I have… the amount of gray hairs I’ve pulled out in the past like three weeks specifically, I think that... Because I was recently talking to someone that's like 32 and they were talking about how they still feel very young and especially because of Covid, they were like, “I feel 28 is my true age”
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I’m pretty sure we're going to keep feeling young forever
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Except I definitely have wrinkles now, like I too…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I do have… I have wrinkles
SARAH: And we're white people so it’s definitely going to stick around
KAYLA: It's only going to get…
SARAH: It's only going to get worse
KAYLA: It’s only downward from here. Anyway, all this to say that… I don't know, coming from that mindset I get it. I just don't think that that like… when I was asking people about their sexual history, I don't think it was the number necessarily was the information I was actually trying to get, I was trying to understand…
SARAH: Because number also doesn't necessarily imply experience
KAYLA: Right
SARAH: You could have had sex with 10 people one time each
KAYLA: Once, yes
SARAH: Or you could have sex with 10 people 10 times each and that's very different
KAYLA: It is and like to me that would matter more considering… The only concern I would ever have about a large number of sexual partners is just that you've been tested between each partner
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because you should be getting tested between each partner and the more partners you have the harder that is to keep up with
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Which is not a judgment, not to say like, “oh, you've had sex with a million people, you probably have a bunch of STDs.” Like it's not a moral judgment, it's just like…
SARAH: It's statistics
KAYLA: It’s just that's simply how it works
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Where was I going with that? Oh, yeah, the thing… the information that I would want is like how sexually experienced are you as a young person, that's what I wanted. Now, the information I want is like how much value do you put on sex? Like how important is that to you to like the health of our relationship
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But none of those… is body count going to help you get that information
SARAH: Right. It could be a piece of information provided in helping you to figure out that information
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: But the number in and of itself doesn't do nothing
KAYLA: It's not… Yeah it is not the answer
SARAH: It turns out when you get older your thoughts…
KAYLA: You become an alliance. Which is like… I just… this comes back to another reason why body count is so stupid because as you get older your relationships just like… Your thoughts on relationships and what you want and how you relate to people just change, so it's like how… Is body count helpful at that point
SARAH: And like even if you think that having someone who is experienced in sex is important to you or you think that whatever, whatever, whatever, if you meet the right person like…
KAYLA: Oh yeah, are you really going to say no because of that number?
SARAH: Like you can make it work like oh like you're a virgin and I didn't want to have to hold anyone's hand through their… but I really love you but actually I have to break up with you because of it, like no like who is…
KAYLA: I mean, I would hope that… I mean, I guess…
SARAH: If you're going to do that…
KAYLA: That’s really where your values are…
SARAH: Then honestly the other person has dodged a bullet in that event
KAYLA: Well, okay, but it depends on your values in your relationship, some people it really… like sex really, I… it's hard for me and especially you to conceptualize but some people really find sex important to like having a healthy relationship, you know, like that's a big value for them
[00:40:00]
SARAH: Okay. If a person is a virgin that doesn't mean they don't have a high libido
KAYLA: Yes, no, I’m just saying if the person has like a high value for whatever reason on like, I want a partner who is sexually experienced, like would it suck for them… Okay, it's the same thing as like someone who really values sex in a relationship not wanting to date like an aspec person who doesn't have sex, right?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like that sucks but it's fair as long as they're talking about that in a respectful way. Like I hate that that's a thing and I think that can like hurt feelings and be really tough to get through but I can't say that person is a bad person just because they really like sex and don't want to date someone who doesn't have sex
SARAH: Fine
KAYLA: No, but it's it is… Like it is hard because you want to be like, oh that person's so shitty for not wanting to date an aspec person or like a sex repulsed aspec person specifically and it's like well like people have different values, you know, which is tough
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like you can't be an asshole about it obviously, but…
SARAH: Yeah. Sorry, I was just looking at some… Another response to this Quora post and someone is like, “let me give you some real life examples. A is for Alice, Alice blah blah blah blah blah body count 12. B is for Betty, Betty is always in a relationship she does not have sex unless she is in a relationship, she keeps a fish tank and is never single, body count 10.” Why was the fish tank thing necessary? Is that…
KAYLA: Did they give any information like that about Alice?
SARAH: Okay. No, “Alice is not looking for a committed relationship so she likes to friends with benefits.” Let's see “C, C is for Claire, Claire got married young, she's now single because she cheated on her husband with her boss and with her husband's best friend, body count three,” and see that there is evidence that the number actually doesn't mean anything
KAYLA: No, that's very… He he he. That's actually… That's really fucking funny but that's a great example of that your number does not translate to your values around sex, but why does she have a fish tank?
SARAH: Is that a euphemism? Like is there something I’m not understanding?
KAYLA: Let me do… Let me do something Googling
SARAH: Because all of the other ones their facts are like related to their dating or sex life whereas with Betty it’s like she keeps a fish tank
KAYLA: Is having a fish tank a euphemism… I did not spell that right, a euphemism. It looks like there aren't many matches for your search so I’m going to go with no
SARAH: Betty just has a fish tank, Betty keeps fish, it doesn't actually say Betty… It doesn't say Betty has fish, it just says she keeps a fish tank
KAYLA: Well, hold on… Let me… Hold on, so I looked up what does having a fish tank mean and then on Quora, someone asked, “what does owning and caring for a fish tank tell you about a person?” And Renee, a professional photographer, has a very long answer
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: “I think it says a lot depending on if you already know the person a bit. Is it a beginner setup with some bright gravel fake plants and cheesy decor or did they put in the effort to try to make it look nice even if they're just starting off? Is it trendily aquascaped or did they try to emulate a natural habitat? What kind of fish are they keeping? Do they have large brightly colored school flickering on the tank? Is it a mashup of different species? Do they have a few larger unusual fish? Are they different species?”
SARAH: Look, I think Renee has a point and I think it has nothing to do with sex. Also, okay, so then they… “D is for Diane, E is for Erin, F is for Finley” and this one is just funny because Finley sport fucks
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: She prefers an experienced partner… She sport fucks, she fucks for sports
KAYLA: What does that mean? Oh, oh, okay
SARAH: Like just like…
KAYLA: I’ve never heard… Okay.
SARAH: Like just for fun
KAYLA: I’ve never heard this term before
SARAH: I never heard of it that way
KAYLA: That's so fun
SARAH: Yeah, anyway, anyway, is that it? Are we done?
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean as usual I don't know that we've gotten anywhere
SARAH: We've spoken words
KAYLA: We certainly said some stuff
SARAH: We've had a conversation
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Was that conversation useful?
KAYLA: Helpful, useful…
SARAH: Beneficial
KAYLA: Probably not. Interesting even? I don't even know that I… I mean that's not for me to say
SARAH: You tell us
KAYLA: Not for me to say. It's sometimes episodes that like these that I’m like I’m pretty sure the vast majority of our listeners agree with us on this and so it's like, why even listen?
SARAH: I mean, it's… but I feel like episodes like this are like really honoring the original intention of this podcast which is like…
KAYLA: No, you're very true
SARAH: I don't get it
KAYLA: I don't know, you're… That is very true because… yes, the original intent of this podcast back in 2017 was here's a thing that the allos are talking about, I just don't get it
SARAH: I don't get it
KAYLA: And usually, we never got anywhere with those… like we never figure it out
SARAH: We never solved how long sex is supposed to last
KAYLA: No, we… I don't think we've ever solved anything. Actually, wait there was an episode I distinctly remember being like I fixed it but I can't… what was it?
SARAH: Well, it's one of 300, almost, so
KAYLA: I know, should we do something for the 300? Yeah, what do you guys want to do?
SARAH: Yeah, y'all what do you want?
KAYLA: Should we do like a live stream? I feel like we haven't done a live stream in a minute
SARAH: So true
KAYLA: That could be fun
SARAH: Let us know
KAYLA: What should we do? Maybe that'll be the poll this week, what should we do?
SARAH: And also, is having a fish tank a euphemism?
KAYLA: Yeah, what do you… what does that tell you about a person? When someone has a fish tank
SARAH: It didn't specifically say fish, just a fish tank, there could be krill in there for all I know
KAYLA: There could be nothing
SARAH: There could be nothing. It could… there could be even no water, just a tank
KAYLA: Okay, that actually does tell me a lot though if you have an empty fish tank that means that you did once have fish and you gave up after they died
SARAH: I know someone who has an empty fish tank
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean it… that… I think an empty fish tank perhaps tells you more about a person than a full one
SARAH: Than a full fish tank
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Depending on the how well kept the full fish tank is
KAYLA: Yeah, okay, you know what? Honestly, I do think a fish tank tells you a lot about a person
SARAH: Now we're Renee, now here we are
KAYLA: Okay, but I do…
SARAH: We’re Renee
KAYLA: Because like… okay, that's what I…
SARAH: I agreed with everything Renee said, I just think it has nothing to do with sex
KAYLA: It could though, because like maybe if the person like does not clean their fish tank then they're like not cleaning other things as well, you know
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Or like not about sex but about relationships like if they're not keeping up their fish then like maybe they're not the most committed person
SARAH: They don't care about other living beings
KAYLA: Yeah, like maybe that's not a great partner, maybe they're not going to be very like attentive to you if they're not even attentive to their fish
SARAH: What's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Our poll is…
SARAH: What should we do for our 300th episode?
KAYLA: What should we do for our 300th episode?
SARAH: Is keeping a fish tank a euphemism?
KAYLA: Just… what does keeping a fish tank mean to you?
SARAH: To you, personally
KAYLA: Personally. In this essay I will
SARAH: In this essay I will. Okay, Kayla?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: What's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: My beef is the weather, it was so nice here for like a week or two it was getting warm, I even turned off the heater for like a day or two it was getting wild up in here and then now it's cold again. I think it… I don't know if it snowed but one day it definitely like everything was frozen and then it has been raining all this week and I don't like it
SARAH: Boo hiss
KAYLA: Boo
SARAH: Tomato, tomato, tomato
KAYLA: My juice is I recently found a like non-profit organization in Boston and they're called QT Library, I found out about them because someone donated our book to them and I was like what is this? And I was like, sick. And they were building up a library of queer and trans books and they're hoping to open like a brick-and-mortar location in Boston and have a bunch of community events and be like a queer third space in Boston because that doesn't really exist outside of like bars. Anyway, so I like met with some of the people from it this week and I’m going to start volunteering and I’m very excited
SARAH: I love this for you
KAYLA: Thank you, so I might talk about it more at a later time and also Boston listeners you should look it up because so far everyone has been very nice
SARAH: Slay
KAYLA: Slay
SARAH: My beef is I’m once again having Adderall acquisition problems nothing changes, time is a flat circle. My juice, this is not an ad, I wish it was
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Okay. You know Mint the finance app and you know how it died?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Okay, it died
KAYLA: Yeah, I used to use it
SARAH: I had Mint. I was never like… I didn't like really use Mint to its fullest… I mostly just opened it like maybe every month or two and looked at the graphs
KAYLA: Same, this is literally the exact same thing I did
SARAH: But I still felt the need to replace it when Mint died
KAYLA: Okay, what did you replace it with? I'd love to know
SARAH: I was looking up options and all of them were like, “I cost money” and I was like, “no”
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: So, I ended up downloading Pocket Guard
KAYLA: Okay. I’m writing this down actually
SARAH: Okay. It seems to be fine but Pocket Guard has a partnership with Bill Shark
KAYLA: Who the fuck is that?
SARAH: Bill Shark, it's the same thing as Rocket Money the artist formerly known as True Bill
KAYLA: Yes
[00:50:00]
SARAH: Where they… So, let me just tell you what happened. So, my Pocket Guard app gave me a notification and they were like, “yo, it's me Bill Shark, your Spectrum bill is crazy”
KAYLA: And you were like, “I know”
SARAH: And I was like, “dog, I know” and they were like, “hey, do you want us to try and negotiate it down?”
KAYLA: Ooh
SARAH: “And if we succeed, we'll take 40% of what you save and then you keep the rest” and I was like, “yeah”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And so, I told them to and I sent them my last two bills and they were like, “okay, we'll do that.” I got an email the other morning from Bill Shark, let me read to you this
KAYLA: This is… It should be an ad
SARAH: I know
KAYLA: They should be paying us for this
SARAH: This is an example Bill Shark of the times…
KAYLA: Of what we could be doing for you
SARAH: Of what we could be doing for you, which is, I got backdated credit…
KAYLA: You froze
SARAH: I got… Oh, no. I froze for a little bit
KAYLA: You’re back
SARAH: Okay, cool. I got backdated credit of 45 dollars…
KAYLA: Damn
SARAH: For like this next month over the next 12 months I will receive a total promotional discount of $540
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Over the following 12 months, so starting in April of 2025 I will receive a promotional discount of $360.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: So, in the next two years they are saving me $945 on that internet bill
KAYLA: That is wild, wow. I literally downloaded the app right now, this was a perfect advertisement
SARAH: I know and then like right after they emailed me like I got an email from Spectrum being like, “hey, your service has been updated” promotional discount minus 20 whatever minus 10 whatever minus five like they look at that
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: And I don't even care if Bill Shark is keeping 40% of what I saved because that's…
KAYLA: Because you didn't have to do it
SARAH: That's 60% more of what I would have saved otherwise
KAYLA: True, wow
SARAH: Anyway
KAYLA: The future is now
SARAH: The future is now, would recommend, not an ad but I wish it was. Okay. We also have a Patreon patreon.com/soundsfakepod if you want to give us money there. We… whoa, whoa, whoa…
KAYLA: Wait, I have another juice
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: I recently… okay, here's the story, is like a month ago I was in New Hampshire for…
SARAH: No sales tax
KAYLA: No tax, exactly, thank you. And I went to this diner and it was like a classic diner and they… every… there was so much food, it was beautiful and I got like a peach iced tea and I sipped it and I said, “this tastes so good” and I said, “how did you make this? I love this” and they were like, “oh, we just use like the flavor syrup” or whatever like you can get it on internet and it's just like black tea or whatever…
SARAH: On the internet
KAYLA: And then we put a shit tum… they said Amazon but, you know.
SARAH: Fuck that shit
KAYLA: And you just put a shit… yeah, you just put a bunch of syrup in it and it tastes good. And I was like, “oh, of course it tastes good, this is literally just like… it's just sugar kind of flavoring” And so… and I like tea but I don't like straight tea so usually I’ll put like lemonade in it or whatever but I was like I’m going to get a syrup so I went to the Marshalls near my house, because I was like, “I think they have a weird shelf of syrups” and they had a lot
SARAH: At Marshall’s?
KAYLA: Let me tell you something… Yeah, it's like in their weird food section that usually I would like never look at, like I’m not buying snacks for Marshalls, but…
SARAH: The number of times I’ve been in a Marshalls could be counted on both hands
KAYLA: Oh, I’m literally always in a Marshall's, if I’m not in my house I’m probably in the Marshall’s
SARAH: You’re at Marshall’s? Okay
KAYLA: So, they have a weird section of like snacks and it's kind of sketchy but they had a whole like section of like coffee drinks or like caramel, you know, whatever
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And so, I got one that was blood orange flavored and today I put it in tea and it tasted so good and it had real cane sugar in it so I felt…
SARAH: Wow
KAYLA: Healthy
SARAH: Wow. I love that for you
KAYLA: Thank you so much
SARAH: Our $5 patrons… I think I said Alexander last week but I didn't properly mark you down so maybe you just get a bonus Alexander if I didn't say you last week
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: Thank you. Hello. Our other $5 patrons who we are promoting this week are Jolly Lizbert, Kathryn Bailey, Kelly, Leila and also Liam Girard who was new last week and I know I said you last week
KAYLA: Liam
SARAH: Yeah. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are David Harris who would like to promote the Cradle book series by Will Wight, Derick & Carissa who would like to promote… you know, did I do these last week?
KAYLA: Well, actually, I can check the transcript, I can tell you that
SARAH: Like, did I just not mark this down properly? I swear to God I did this last week
KAYLA: Let me do a little look
SARAH: Maybe not, no, no. I think we didn't, I think I… I think… I think I…
KAYLA: You started $10 with… Our $10 dollars we’re promoting this week are… you started with Alyson Maguire
SARAH: Okay, yeah, I didn't do these last week. I think I just… Every time I’m faced with the name Will Wight, I hate it so, I… because it's spelled W-I-G-H-T and so I’m afraid…
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: It's spelled like, right, like right hand turn but with a W and in my head I’m afraid of that
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: And so, I think every time I just… I see it I’m like, “oh no, what if I say it wrong?” I don't know, anyway. Derick & Carissa who would like to promote supporting each other through the transitions we face. Elle Bitter who would like to promote normalizing the use of tone indicators /srs. My aunt Jeannie who would like to promote Christopher’s Haven and Kayla's dad who would like to promote JandiCreations.com. Our other $10 patrons are Maff, Martin Chiesl, Parker, Purple Hayes, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm, Val, Alyson, Ani, Arcnes, Benjamin Ybarra, and Celina Dobson. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Andrew Hillum who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum podcast, Dia Chappell who would like to promote Twitch.tv/MelodyDia, Hector Murillo who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla’s Aunt Nina Maggart who would like to promote katemaggartart.com, and Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are Dragonfly and my mom who would like to promote… you know, the day this episode comes out, there’s so much going on. First of all, easter, second of all, trans day of visibility
KAYLA: Slay
SARAH: Third of all…
KAYLA: Jesus is trans confirmed
SARAH: Caesar Chavez day
KAYLA: Who's… what?
SARAH: Caesar Chavez. Ugh, Kayla doesn't care about labor
KAYLA: Oh, well, I don't have a job, so
SARAH: So true. Also, my grandma's birthday
KAYLA: Wow, what a day
SARAH: There’s so much going on. That's… I guess what they're promoting
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: They would like to promote learning about what Caesar Chavez day is
KAYLA: I’ll look it up, I’m sorry everyone
SARAH: Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows. I almost left the meeting instead of stopping my recording.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]