Sounds Fake But Okay

Ep 194: Google Autocomplete

August 08, 2021 Sounds Fake But Okay
Sounds Fake But Okay
Ep 194: Google Autocomplete
Show Notes Transcript

Hey what's up hello! This week we play our own little version of the Google autocomplete game. What have people been Googling about asexuality? About aromanticism? About US?! Some weird stuff, apparently.

Episode Transcript:     


Follow: @soundsfakepod    


Support the show


SARAH: Hey what’s up hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aroace girl (I’m Sarah. That’s me.)

KAYLA:… and a demisexual girl (that’s me, Kayla)

SARAH: talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that we just don’t understand.

KAYLA: On today’s episode: Google autocomplete.

ALL: — Sounds fake, but okay.

SARAH: Welcome back to the pod!

KAYLA: M’y m’icrophone is not in M’ichigan.

SARAH: No it’s not.

KAYLA: But I am!

SARAH: Yeah so sorry if Kayla’s audio sounds like garbage, there’s nothing we can do about it.

KAYLA: Well that’s—here’s the thing. I’m home visiting my family. Stupidly, I was like, I don’t need my mic. I did. But I do want to say, I do want everyone to know the sacrifice I am making because I and my computer are under a comforter to trap my sound in and get the echoes out and it is a minute and five seconds into recording and I am already sweating. 


KAYLA: So, you can’t say I didn’t try. I’m already miserable so.

SARAH: Speaking of Kayla not having her microphone, we are going to be taking next week off not because of the microphone—

KAYLA: Cause I’m going to be in the woods.
SARAH: Kayla’s going to be in the woods. 

KAYLA: In the woods, away.

SARAH: It was just unrealistic for us to be able to record two episodes this week so it’s not happening.

KAYLA: Simply not.
SARAH: Simply not happening so after this week’s episode we’ll see you in two weeks. But, other than that everything going good? You vibing? People have been buying some merch.

KAYLA: Yeah I’ve heard only lovely things about the new logo and everything so that’s very exciting. That’s hand’s outside the blanket and it makes me a little bit cooler. Update.

SARAH: Cool. To be clear that’s not an invitation to start saying bad things just because we’re not getting enough of it.

KAYLA: No I will murder you. We get plenty of bad things. Notably someone gave us a one star review because they were mad we talked about BTS.

SARAH: That was so fucking funny. This reviewer was so mad we talked about BTS, they were like, unsubscribed. 

KAYLA: Also, and I will keep talking about this even though I know the person will maybe eventually listen to this, don’t send us pictures of a peepus.

SARAH: Yeah. If you send us an email saying someone sent me an unsolicited dick pic, it was the worst. That’s fine. Don’t attach said unsolicited dick pic in your email to us. 

KAYLA: It logically makes absolutely no sense to do that and sometimes I’ll be scrolling through an email seeing how long it is and at the bottom is a penis. 

SARAH: Is a dick that we didn’t ask for. 

KAYLA: So, don’t do that.

SARAH: We clarified very early on in this podcast, like very, very early on—

KAYLA: Probably episode 1.

SARAH: Probably episode 1 that we don’t want you to send us dick pics. You’re welcome to send us cow pics. 

KAYLA: You’re welcome to tell us stories about getting a dick pic, that’s fine.

SARAH: Yes. 

KAYLA: Anyway.

SARAH: Anyway, Kayla, what are we talking about this week?

KAYLA: This week we are going to do a little Google autocomplete thing.

SARAH: This was suggested by my roommate Kyla and actually it’s wonderfully timed because you know what came out just yesterday as we were recording this? 


SARAH: A BTS autocomplete interview.

KAYLA: That’s very exciting. Who is it—is it Vogue or something that always does the autocomplete?

SARAH: It’s Wired.

KAYLA: Wired. One of those. But yeah, we’re just going to be doing Google autocomplete. So for those of you who don’t—aren’t familiar with these interviews, Wired does them with people who they interview, famous people, where they type in the name of the person and a question word. Who or how or blah blah blah and they see what the most commonly asked questions are.

KAYLA: And then the person will answer. 

SARAH: So we’re going to do that with aspec terms.

KAYLA: I also think I would like to do it for us. 

SARAH: Oh. I don’t think anything is going to come up for me. Maybe for you.

KAYLA: Here’s actually the funny thing Sarah. Because I Google us too frequently actually.

SARAH: I never Google us. 


KAYLA: First of all when you Google us, our image on the right hand side is still the old logo, even though it is updated on Wikipedia so.
SARAH: Disaster.

KAYLA: Maybe one day that’ll be different. Anyway. When you go to the side panel, it has our little Wikipedia thing. Your name is linked and mine is not.

SARAH: That is really funny. So when I clicked on my name that is linked, the first thing that comes up is my Twitter. The second thing that comes up is someone named Sarah Costello who is the president at Corporate Couture. The third thing that comes up is a Sarah Costello who is the creative director at Three Thirds. Although, big news, the first picture that comes up is from my work website.

KAYLA: I will say, Sarah, before we started a podcast, I remember us Googling ourselves just as regular people sometimes do and it was impossible to find you cause there are so many Costellos. Now on the first page, the first thing is your Twitter. Down the page is your bio at your job. Right below that is our website.

SARAH: There was a Sarah Costello on the 2003-2004 women’s basketball team at Southeast Missouri State.

KAYLA: Also notably, the related searches we have, “Sarah Costello podcast” and “Sarah Costello and Kayla” so.

SARAH: I mean. It also sends you just Sarah Costello profiles on Facebook, which there’s quite a few. Oh my god I’m just keeping scrolling. There’s so many. 

KAYLA: The bad thing about being me and having such a unique last name is you can Google me and find my Pinterest from when I was in middle school. So. 

SARAH: There was a Sarah Costello who received a fellowship and did excavation in Cyprus. Just learning about the other Sarah Costellos of the world that’s all. But I mean if you said “Sarah Costello what,” I don’t necessarily think something would necessarily come up with me though. 

KAYLA: Oh I don’t know. “Kayla Kaszyca what happened,” “Kayla Kaszyca who is she.” 

SARAH: “Sarah Costello Irish dance.”
KAYLA: I did see that one.

SARAH: “Sarah Costello Tampa Bay Lightning,” “Sarah Costello New Orleans.” Oh this Sara Ruffin Costello person is in New Orleans but she spells her name wrong so what’s the point. Mmkay. Well let’s start with the asexuality, how about that.

KAYLA: Okay.

SARAH: I’m just going to start with asexual and we can do aromantic or demi or other terms. 

KAYLA: The problem is my own Google search is quite skewed by things I have actually searched. Maybe I should open an incognito tab.

SARAH: Do incognito. I haven’t. Mine’s not really skewed. So I typed in “asexual what.” The first thing that comes up is asexual Whatsapp group. Then “asexual what mean.”

KAYLA: What meme?

SARAH: What mean.

KAYLA: What mean, interesting. 

SARAH: Then “asexual what type.” Then we’ve got “what’s asexual reproduction,” “what asexual reproduction process is utilized by bacteria,” “what’s asexual reproduction in plants,” “what asexual propagation,” “what asexual are you quiz,” and then “what’s asexual biromantic.”

KAYLA: I looked up just asexual and we have “asexual meaning,” “asexual flag,” reproduction, definition, pride flag, test, reproduction definition in animals, asexual test…

SARAH: I clicked the “what asexual are you quiz,” there’s one that’s like, “do you think that you’re asexual,” and this one is “what kind of ace are you?”

KAYLA: What is this?

SARAH: I’m going to take it hold on.

KAYLA: I’m at a quiz that’s and it’s an asexuality test based on the work of Dr. Morag Yule, PhD? Who’s that? I’m Googling that person.

SARAH: “What do you currently identify as?” Why is ace not an option on the what do I currently identify as on this “what kind of asexual am I” quiz. America, explain. Pa pa pa pa pa.


KAYLA: Dr. Morag Yule is a sex researcher and therapist. Why have they made this quiz?

SARAH: Have you ever fantasized about a celebrity? No. What the fuck does that mean? What do you think you are? No I am ace. What the fuck it says, what do you think you are, “I’m not ace,” “Cupiosexual,” “Gray ace,” “Demi ace,” “I don’t know that’s why I’m taking this quiz.” No I know exactly what I am and none of them are here so I’m just going to say “gray ace” I guess. “What do you think of hookups/one night stands?” “Not for me.” I’ve been told I’m probably a quouisexual, apothisexual or even graysexual. I don’t know why just straight up asexual isn’t an option. 

KAYLA: That’s a little weird.

SARAH: That’s my question. Anyway. So as expected, some questions about asexual reproduction came up. But you know, nothing crazy.

KAYLA: I looked up “asexuality who” and all I got was “asexuality wholesale” so.
SARAH: I’m sorry, what?

KAYLA: Stop everything. “Purchase wholesale asexual.” That’s it.

SARAH: That sounds like human trafficking. 

KAYLA: No it’s just some stickers and pins that are ace. 

SARAH: I see. So they’re describing the pins as asexual. And not explaining that they’re asexual themed, not the pins themselves. I typed in “asexual how.” The first one is “asexual how to know.” The second one is “asexual how to fix.” That’s not toasty. Then it’s “asexual how to pronounce” and “asexual how to say.”

KAYLA: To me that seems relatively straightforward but—

SARAH: But to a non-English speaker it could be confusing cause I’ve heard a lot of non-native English speakers say ah-sexual because in their native language that makes more sense. “Asexual how to tell,” then we have ones about asexual reproduction in plants and then “how asexual am I quiz.”

KAYLA: That doesn’t make sense because—I mean it is a spectrum but it’s kind of like you either are ace or you aren’t you know?

SARAH: It’s not like some quiz is going to tell you “you’re 50% asexual.” 

KAYLA: It’s not a thing. 

SARAH: Mmkay. I have another one, should I do it? It’s kind of terrifying. I typed in “are asexuals.” “Are asexuals queer,” Yes. “Are asexuals heterosexuals?”


SARAH: No. “Are asexuals part of pride?” Yes. “Are asexuals bi?” They can be.

KAYLA: Could be.

SARAH: “Are asexuals romantic?” They can be. 

KAYLA: Maybe.

SARAH: “Are asexuals cisgender?” They can be.

KAYLA: Maybe.

SARAH: “Are asexuals aromantic?”
KAYLA: Maybe.

SARAH: They can be. “Are asexuals part of pride Reddit,” apparently that was a discussion happening.
KAYLA: I don’t know. Ask pride Reddit. 

SARAH: This last one’s a real delight. “Are asexuals mentally ill?” I mean yes, but it’s not related. 

KAYLA: In our case, yes.

SARAH: But it’s not related to my sexuality. 

KAYLA: Not necessarily. 

SARAH: So that’s a little rough.

KAYLA: Here are some fun ones. I looked up “asexual when” and I got “asexual when sober,” “asexual except when drunk.”
SARAH: Okayyy.

KAYLA: “Dating when I’m asexual,” and some stuff about asexual reproduction. So that’s interesting. 

SARAH: I looked up “aromantic what” and the first three are just “what does it mean,” “what is” and “what means.” And then it’s “what’s aromantic asexual,” “what’s aromantic pride,” “a romantic Whatsapp status,” that’s not—okay first of all—okay, why would your Whatsapp status need to be romantic? We’re moving on. I can’t with that. “What aromantic are you,” “what is an aromantic person,” “can aromantics fall in love.” This one seems to be a lot of no one knows what the fuck it is. 

KAYLA: I clicked on the one that was like “asexual except when I’m drunk” and I found a study that was called “understanding alcohol and tobacco consumption in asexual samples.” So basically studying to “compare group differences in alcohol and tobacco consumption among sexual orientations, focusing on asexual people, sexual people, and those in the "gray" area between asexual and sexual” so basically gray asexuals. What did they find? “asexual and gray-asexual respondents were found to consume significantly less alcohol and were more likely to abstain from drinking alcohol altogether, compared to allosexuals,” and tobacco wasn’t always statistically significant. 


SARAH: Interesting. Interesting, hmm. Okay so the next one I did, I typed in “are aromantics.” We have the classic “are aromantics queer, “ “are aromantics LGBTQ” “Are they part of pride,” “are they part of LGBT” and then at the bottom it just says “is asexuality considered queer” which I didn’t write asexuality, I wrote “aromantic,” please.

KAYLA: That just came for you.

SARAH: Then we have “are aromantic heterosexuals queer,” yes if you would like to use that identifier, go for it. And then there is “things aromantics are tired of hearing,” which is delightful. The other two that come in, these come in as numbers three and four. “Are aromantics psychopaths” and “are aromantics sociopaths?” 

KAYLA: I don’t love that. I don’t like that.

SARAH: I think it’s clear that these people Googling don’t really know the difference between psychopath and sociopath. 

KAYLA: But also what a specific thing to Google.

SARAH: It is very specific. 

KAYLA: When you Google that, what are you looking for?

SARAH: I don’t know. Yeah. I typed in “who asexual” and the first two are “asexual who framed Roger Rabbit” 

KAYLA: What the Fuck?

SARAH: And “Dr. Who asexual.”

KAYLA: Okay but what’s the first one?

SARAH: Jessica Rabbit is from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

KAYLA: Oh I was thinking of the other rabbit movie. Like the kids’ one.

SARAH: Peter Rabbit?

KAYLA: I think so. Whatever the one they’re like—I don’t know, anyway. I looked up “who demisexual” I got “who are demisexuals attracted to?” I mean it’s not we’re all attracted to one person so I don’t know.

SARAH: No. All demisexuals are attracted to Kayla. I thought we knew that.

KAYLA: Oh yeah. I don’t know we’ve ever talked about that on air but.

SARAH: Yeah I thought that was just generally known among the community.

KAYLA: Similar to the law that aspecs can’t owe money. All demisexuals are attracted to me.

SARAH: Are attracted to Kayla yeah.

KAYLA: We also have “who do demisexuals like?” Me. “Who made the demisexual flag” and “who created the demisexual flag” - I cannot take credit for that one.

SARAH: Not Kayla.

KAYLA: Not Kayla. “What are demisexuals?” Kayla.

SARAH: Humans.

KAYLA: “Can demisexuals be attracted to celebrities?” Well, am I a celebrity? If so, yes, cause they’re all attracted to me.

SARAH: I typed in “aromantic who” and of course we got “aromantic wholesale.” “Aromantic Dr. Who” and “who is aromantic.” Let me just click on that.

KAYLA: I would love to know that. 

SARAH: It’s just a bunch of random things about aroness it’s not like it comes up as “you” or some buffoonery.

KAYLA: I wanted it to be us.

SARAH: Okay. Oof. I did “are demisexuals.”

KAYLA: Uh oh.

SARAH: “Are demisexuals asexual,” “Are they straight?” “Are they LGBT?” “are they valid?” “Are they queer?” “Are they part of the LGBTQ community?” “Are they bisexual?” “Are they ace?” “Are they real?” “Are they rare?”

KAYLA: *whispers* Are they rare?

SARAH: You are real. And you are rare. 

KAYLA: Just going back to our own—just to us, I went back to our Wikipedia cause I’m still mad that the incorrect photo pops up on Google. But anyway, if you go to—there’s a little box that comes up on all Wikipedia pages that have to do with asexuality, and there’s a little one that says “people” and our names are there.

SARAH: I think we are celebrities then. Therefore demisexuals are all attracted to celebrities cause they are all attracted to you.

KAYLA: Unfortunately so is Caitlyn Jenner who we do not claim.

SARAH: I typed in “asexuals why” and it just says “why are asexuals in the LGBT community”—why not you hoes?

KAYLA: Because, the fuck? 

SARAH: Ugh. I typed in “aromantic why” and the first one is just “aromantic why?” 

KAYLA: Sure, yeah.

SARAH: And then it’s “why am I aromantic,” “why is aromantic part of LGBT” fuck you, “is it okay to be aromantic,” “can aromantics fall in love,” “what makes someone aromantic” and “is it bad to be aromantic.” That’s just kind of sad. 


KAYLA: Yikes.

SARAH: So I did “demisexual why.” “Why am I demisexual?” “Why is demisexual a sexuality?” Why is heterosexual a sexuality? “Why does demisexual exist?” “Why is demisexual LGBT?” “What is a demisexual” and the last one’s a real kicker, “is everyone demisexual?”

KAYLA: No. No. No. 

SARAH: Ooh this one’s interesting. I did “can asexuals.” “Can asexuals have sex?” Yes. “Can asexuals have kinks?” Yes. “Can asexuals date?” Yes. “Can asexuals kiss?” Yes. “Can asexuals get married?” Yes. “Can asexuals have a crush?” Yes. “Can asexuals be bisexual?” Uhh...yes.

KAYLA: Biromantic?

SARAH: Well, you could be oriented and so some people might choose to use both terms. 


SARAH: Can asexuals say the f word. By that of course, we mean fuck. There is no other f word. What other f word is there to use there isn’t one. Just going to put that out there. Asexuals are welcome to say the word fuck.

KAYLA: No I don’t think so.
SARAH: There are no other f words to be had, I don’t think so. Sorry.

KAYLA: I don’t think asexuals can say the f word.

SARAH: Then I’m breaking the rules all the time.

KAYLA: Same.
SARAH: But no, we really shouldn’t be. And if you don’t know what f word we’re talking about, don’t worry about it.

KAYLA: It’s fuck. 

SARAH: Sure, it’s fuck. “Can asexuals experience physical attraction?” Sure. “Can asexuals have romantic attraction?” Yes. The answer to all of these is yes except the f word one which of course the f word is for fuck which if so, absolutely is the answer to that one. I did “can aromantics.” Are you ready?

KAYLA: I am very ready.

SARAH: “Can aromantics date?” Sure. “Can aromantics fall in love?” What even is falling in love? I don’t fucking know. 

KAYLA: I couldn’t tell you.

SARAH: “Can aromantics have crushes?” Sure? I don’t know. “Can aromantics be in a relationship?” Yes. “Can aromantics still date?” If they want to. “Can aromantics be in a romantic relationship?” If they want to. “Can aromantics get married?” Actually, it’s barred. 

KAYLA: No on that one.

SARAH: Actually aromantics legally can’t. Yes. “Can aromantics have a partner?” Yes. “Can aromantics feel love?” Actually no I feel no love in my life, I’ve never felt love ever, I’m a robot. And “can aromantics want to be in a relationship?” Yes.


SARAH: You can want to be in a relationship but you can’t get married. Specifically aro exclusion. The gays can get married but not the aros. Did you die?

KAYLA: Hold on, one second. I just found something weird.

SARAH: We need to explain to the people what’s happening.

KAYLA: I’m so confused. 

SARAH: Kayla found a video on the world wide web.

KAYLA: On the YouTube.

SARAH: That says “sounds homophobic but okay.” It’s seven seconds, it shows our logo and there’s an animation bug or something?

KAYLA: Just a creature disappearing. 

SARAH: There appears to be no audio. It has 19 views and 1 like. It’s from 2 weeks ago. The comment from the creator who they have also pinned says, “evaporates from the universe.” And they also hearted—

KAYLA: They liked their own comment.

SARAH: —liked their own comment. And someone called Mushroom Bread says “can I just *kicks the person who made it*” And the person who made it gave it a heart react and said “yes.” I have no fucking idea what’s going on. 

KAYLA: I’m so confused. I’m assuming they’re trying to dunk on us.

SARAH: But there’s no audio so I don’t know what they said that they think is dunkworthy.

KAYLA: And also I looked at the bio and they’re ace and bi. What did we do to get dunked on in this manner?

SARAH: But it’s not even a successful dunk because I don’t understand what they’re trying to dunk about.

KAYLA: I’m looking through the YouTube now and I’m very confused—it’s all just a bunch of very very short videos.

SARAH: I don’t know why the other commenter tried to kick the person that made it?

KAYLA: Kick us or kick the person that made the video?

SARAH: Oh that’s a good point. I thought they meant—I am so lost. If anyone has any idea what the fuck is going on. 

KAYLA: If you’re listening—

SARAH: Please let us know. 

KAYLA: I tried searching Twitter for the YouTube link and didn’t find it. I was hoping someone tweeted it and I’d be able to find it. 

SARAH: I am so lost. If you tried to dunk on us, please explain your attempted dunking because we don’t get it. 

KAYLA: I’m really confused.

SARAH: I now understand why Kayla was so confused. Kayla went silent for several seconds.

KAYLA: I was just searching here on Google doing shit and—

SARAH: And I was like “what’s going on?” and she was like, “I’m going to send this to you.” I’m baffled.

KAYLA: Does this mean we’re famous?

SARAH: Yeah; it has 19 views and I think two of them are us. 

KAYLA: Some random person is trying to dunk on us.

SARAH: I love it when people try and dunk on us. I mean, truly my favorite dunks are the ones that are in the iTunes reviews.

KAYLA: Okay but there was once a dunk that did actually scare me for my life and I got the review removed because they referenced the city I live in and I was like, that’s a little too much for moi.
SARAH: Okay we’re going to go back.

KAYLA: Sorry everyone.

SARAH: I typed in “can demisexuals” and a lot of them are the same like can demisexuals blah blah blah blah blah. “Can demisexuals be polyamorous?” Yeah. “Can demisexuals have a type?” Sure.

KAYLA: If you look at the past three people I’ve dated, yeah.

SARAH: “Can demisexuals get turned on and can they be physically attracted to someone?” Well yeah.
KAYLA: That’s the thing.

SARAH: That’s the thing.

KAYLA: The whole thing right there.

SARAH: Incredible.
KAYLA: I’m just still shook. I’m going to look up “can allosexuals.” Nothing. I looked up allosexual—allosexuality flag? Everyone stop what you’re doing.

SARAH: Ew. Ew. 

KAYLA: It’s just the “straight flag,” where it’s a white stripe, a grey stripe, a black stripe and it repeats.

SARAH: So it’s a fucking zebra. I hate that.

KAYLA: Why must they have a flag.

SARAH: I looked up allosexual and went to images cause I wanted to see the flag. And there’s one a couple down, it’s a video from and it says “what does it mean to be allosexual? Here’s what you need to know according to experts.”

KAYLA: I did see that. So confusing. I looked up aphobia and I got “aphobia meaning,” “aphobia definition,” examples, “acephobia,” “Phobias movie?”

SARAH: I’m still scrolling on the images for allosexual and this is a screenshot of a Tumblr post that was posted to Wattpad. And it says “literally every single ew allosexuals post reads like some sort of bible belt conservatve ranting on the sinful lusts of The Gays. They all sound homophobic.” Bitch we’re just confused by y’all. Like we’re just confused okay?

KAYLA: I have seen people say things like that.

SARAH: Maybe some people are assholes but I think you need to stop assuming that just because we are confused by sex and romance generally it’s an attack on the gays because you know what, it’s an attack on all of you.

KAYLA: Yeah it’s not gay specific.

SARAH: You’re not special.

KAYLA: It’s not like gay people are the only allosexual people. I’ve seen that quite a bit on the internet. Maybe that’s what this YouTube video is except this person is also ace. I don’t know but I’ve seen that before that we’re being homophobic. No I don’t just not understand gay people having sex. I don’t understand anyone having sex. 

SARAH: And what I need you to know is as an aspec I do like the gays better than I like the straights. And I need you to know that. No offense to the straights but some offense to the straights. And those straights who I align myself with won’t be offended by that. And those who are offended by that, I mean we’re probably not friend anyway so. 

KAYLA: Why’s Google telling me it’s carbon neutral since 2007? It’s on the bottom of Google. Carbon neutral since 2007, carbon free by 2030. Okay Google.

SARAH: Okay, I don’t care. I just googled Sounds Fake But Okay, “Sounds Fake But Okay meme” lyrics, Twitter, meaning, meaning in Hindi, specifically, song—that horrible, horrible song.

KAYLA: There is a song called Sounds Fake But Okay.

SARAH: Sounds Fake But Okay BTS. Sounds Fake But Okay Instagram.

KAYLA: BTS. I’m still—oh, okay. 

SARAH: I just want everyone to know that Kayla hung up on me.

KAYLA: Sarah has gone away.

SARAH: Kayla just hung up on me and I think that’s arophobic I’m calling her back. Life is a curse and existence is a prison. Kayla wasn’t recording.

KAYLA: Sarah hung up on me so.

SARAH: I didn’t hang up on you, I wasn’t touching my phone. 

KAYLA: Someone hung up on someone, I also wasn’t touching my phone so. 

SARAH: Okay well I think that was our phones telling us that we need to make this stop.

KAYLA: It’s over. It can be a short one this time.

SARAH: Hey the outro takes a hot second. So, Kayla, what’s our poll for this week? Asexual wholesale.

KAYLA: Why did that person say we’re homophobic?

SARAH: I don’t know if we want to invite people.

KAYLA: No. I might—after we stop recording put that link in the Discord though and just say, preview to this episode. Anyone want to take a stab at this one?

SARAH: Anyone know what this fucking—

KAYLA: Anyone have anything for me?

SARAH: What is our poll? 

KAYLA: That’s an excellent question.

SARAH: Are you attracted to Kayla?

KAYLA: I don’t know that we need to do that.
SARAH: Are you demisexual and attracted to Kayla?

KAYLA: I think we should do aspec wholesale and each little thing would be a little thing we’re selling. What would you like to sell?

SARAH: My soul to the devil.

KAYLA: I don’t know that there’s an emoji for that. I was going to do a nice emoji.

SARAH: Kayla’s really been into communicating via emojis recently. It’ll just be—we’re just going to sell emojis. And you’ll just find out what they are. Fish flag one of them’s gotta be a fish flag. 

KAYLA: Okay.

SARAH: Okay cool. Kayla what is your beef and your juice this week?

KAYLA: Now I have to find the fish flag. I found it! My beef is migraines because I’ve been having them more regularly and a couple days ago I had one so bad that I did almost pass out. 

SARAH: Oh dear.

KAYLA: That was pretty neat and fun. My juice is that I am home and I get to go camping. And that’s a fun time.
SARAH: Nice. My beef is that my ceiling is leaking and there is someone who is coming to repair it but they’re coming early so they’re coming in 20 minutes so good thing we’re almost done. My other beef is that my life maybe has no purpose. My juice is the return of Run BTS. That’s all. You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your wholesale asexual, your interpretation of whatever that fucking video is on our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have a Patreon, We have two new $2 patrons, David J, J as in the letter J not the last name Jay, different J than the other David Jay just so you know and Audrey, thank you both of you.

KAYLA: Welcome! Thank you!

SARAH: I thought you were saying you’re welcome to me.

KAYLA: It’s actually me I’m the patron. Our $5 patrons who we are highlighting this week are Quinn Pollock, Emily Collins, Bookmarvel, Jamie Jack, and Jessica Shea—you guys all rock. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are as a matter of fact David Jay the other one, who is promoting Emergent Strategy by Adrienne Maree Brown, Changeling MX who would like to promote, Stubby Tech who would like to promote checking patreon to make sure you're actually supporting the podcasts you think you are. And our other $10 patrons are Simona Sajmon, Rosie Costello, Hector Murillo, Jay, a different Jay not a David, 

KAYLA: Lotta Jays!
SARAH: Arcnes, Benjamin Ybarra, anonymous, my aunt Jeannie, Cass, Doug Rice, H. Valdis, Barefoot Backpacker, The Steve, Ari K. Mattie, Derek and Carissa, Khadir and a Potater. Our $15 patrons are Nathaniel White -, my mom Julie who would like to promote free mom hugs, Sara Jones who is @eternalloli everywhere, Martin Chiesel who would like to promote his podcast, Everyone’s Special and No One is, Leila, who would like to promote love is love also applying to aro people, Shrubbery who would like to promote the Planet Earth, Dia Chappell who would like to promote, Sherronda J Brown, Maggie Capalbo who would like to promote their dogs Minnie, Leia, and Loki, Andrew Hillum would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum podcast, and Dragonfly who would like to promote your air conditioning unit in your ceiling not dripping all over your flood. Our $20 patrons are Sarah T. who would like to promote long walks outside and HomHomofSpades who would like to promote getting enough Vitamin D. Thank you for listening, tune in not next Sunday but the following Sunday for more of us in your ear.

KAYLA: And until then take good care of your cows.