Hey what's up hello! This week we're doing sex and romance-based mad libs, because that's basically what allos sound like sometimes anyway.
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/sex-and-romance-mad-libs
Come to our book event in DC! www.eventbrite.com/e/sounds-fake-but-okay-a-busboys-and-poets-books-presentation-tickets-575031965087
Donate: patreon.com/soundsfakepod
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Hey what's up hello! This week we're doing sex and romance-based mad libs, because that's basically what allos sound like sometimes anyway.
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/sex-and-romance-mad-libs
Come to our book event in DC! www.eventbrite.com/e/sounds-fake-but-okay-a-busboys-and-poets-books-presentation-tickets-575031965087
Donate: patreon.com/soundsfakepod
Follow: @soundsfakepod
Join: https://discord.gg/W7VBHMt
Buy our book: www.soundsfakepod.com/book
(00:00)
SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello, welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aroace girl, I'm Sarah, that's me.
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual girl, that's me, Kayla.
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, Mad Libs.
SARAH AND KAYLA: Sounds fake, but okay.
(theme music)
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod!
KAYLA: hello, hello
SARAH: hope everyone's well, hope everyone's vibing. I got my merch in the mail today, order yours now.
KAYLA: The picture I took of our one merch is like our second most liked picture on Instagram,
SARAH: Really? My god
KAYLA: and I was like, really you guys?
SARAH: Got to do a better photo shoot then, damn.
KAYLA: I know, I guess. A picture of Sarah and some other merch should be up by the time you're listening. Go look at it, soundsfakepod.com/shop, I think.
SARAH: Look at it, consider buying it. Tell your friends
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: ask them to consider buying it for you and for themselves.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I'm going to wear it to work on Friday and I'm going to show it to my boss.
KAYLA: He's going to be very proud, I think.
SARAH: He's going to be so proud.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Aggressively so.
KAYLA: Yeah, honestly, a little too proud.
SARAH: And he might take credit for it.
KAYLA: Well, he shouldn't because I designed it.
SARAH: It was kind of his idea to bring it back. We had done it before.
KAYLA: Yeah, but. Whatever.
SARAH: anyway, any other, any other housekeeping?
KAYLA: Buy our book, come to our event in DC.
SARAH: Yeah the trick is you have to outdo me and to outdo me, you have to show up to the event in person.
KAYLA: Yeah, so anyone who shows up is doing better than Sarah.
SARAH: True. I'll be there in spirit and in pixels.
KAYLA: And in Zoom, yeah. And in the stickers that she has signed with her autograph and mailed to me.
SARAH: They're currently in the mail.
KAYLA: Yeah I need to actually, I'm really bad at checking the mail so I need to actually check the mail now.
SARAH: Amazing. Alright, Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week we were like, we need to do something silly goofy because it's been a while and things are sad.
SARAH: Silly goose o'clock.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's silly goose o'clock and Sarah has suggested we do some mad libs today.
SARAH: Mhm
KAYLA: So, that is what we're going to be doing.
SARAH: We're doing sexy and romance-y mad libs because, you know what?
KAYLA: So the theme of the mad libs is like sex and romance, right?
SARAH: Correct, because.
KAYLA: But then we're going to be doing silly words.
SARAH: Of course, that's the point of mad libs.
KAYLA: Right. Well, okay listen, because a large part of my like sex education as a kid came from mad libs because my family goes camping every summer and we have since I was like five. And so there was a couple summers where like on the drive up, which is like two hours, but when you're a kid, it was like, oh my God, it's the whole day we're in the back of this minivan. We would like do mad libs all of the kids together to like pass the time. And I was in the younger set of kids, the older set of kids was like in middle and high school so they were learning all of these words like G string and like G spot or whatever. And so, and because at that age, it's like, well, mad libs are the funniest when you just put all of the dirtiest words possible in it. So I learned a lot of new words because of mad libs.
SARAH: Let's unpack this.
KAYLA: (laughing) Okay.
SARAH: That is wild.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Truly the state of sex education in America.
KAYLA: That's the thing because I remember more from those mad libs than I do from my actual sex ed class.
SARAH: Yeah. I just remember when I took sex ed, like the second one in seventh grade where like you actually talk about sex, there was a kid that like almost passed out.
KAYLA: That's funny.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: See, I don't think I got the second one because I think our first one was in sixth grade maybe? And then the second one was supposed to be in high school health, but I tested out of high school health. So like I read the textbook.
SARAH: My first one was in like fourth grade and they talked about like puberty and like periods. It wasn't really sex ed, it was more
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: puberty ed. And the girls one took way longer than the boys one and so then the boys one got to like, the boys got to like watch a movie after
KAYLA: Yeah maybe I was younger
SARAH: and the girls were like stuck there learning about pads.
(05:00)
KAYLA: I feel like I must have been younger because I definitely got my period before sixth grade, I think.
SARAH: You did?
KAYLA: I was pretty young.
SARAH: I was in seventh grade.
KAYLA: I feel like I was in fifth or sixth grade.
SARAH: That sucks bro.
KAYLA: It did.
SARAH: Horrible.
KAYLA: Anyway.
SARAH: Anyway, we're doing mad libs because sometimes the shit that allos say sound like mad libs when they're talking about sex and romance.
KAYLA: That's actually so true.
SARAH: Fully sounds like mad libs. I think we should start with something unhinged. I found this mad lib, it's called mad libs for adults.
KAYLA: That's us.
SARAH: This one's called Mile High Club.
KAYLA: Oh boy. I feel like we could do a whole episode on the Mile High Club.
SARAH: As someone who recently in their life used an airplane bathroom for only the second time in their life
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: which is astounding given how much time I've spent on planes.
KAYLA: It is very impressive.
SARAH: You can't even fit one person in there. Also, there was a lot of turbulence while I was in there. Imagine you're trying to fuck someone. I mean, I guess maybe that helps.
KAYLA: Maybe. A private plane, I get it, sure.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Public plane, no.
SARAH: If you're just flying Southwest.
KAYLA: Those bathrooms are so small. The people know when you go in.
SARAH: That is what I would expect out of Spirit Airlines.
KAYLA: Anyway.
SARAH: But a bitch has Delta miles, okay? And if you are fucking in a Delta airplane bathroom, what is wrong with you?
KAYLA: I did see, I think some of the really, really big planes that go across the ocean and shit, the flight attendants have beds in the under part.
SARAH: Ooh
KAYLA: It's separate from where the luggage sleeps, but there's some bunk beds in there. And I think I saw a video about how some shit goes down in those bunk beds.
SARAH: That I believe.
KAYLA: Which I get it. You know? I get it.
SARAH: That I believe.
KAYLA: What are you going to do?
SARAH: It's like cruise ships.
KAYLA: Yeah. Or the beds –
SARAH: They're the same fucking size.
KAYLA: Or the beds that the residents get to take a nap in in hospitals. You know that shit's-
SARAH: Did they fuck when they're sleeping? Not when they're sleeping, but –
KAYLA: Not when they're sleeping. At least in all the like hospital dramas and shows, they're fucking- And you know those are always true. I could ask my brother-in-law –
SARAH: Grey's Anatomy is a documentary.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: It's 15 seasons of documentaries.
KAYLA: And I've always said that. Yeah.
SARAH: Anyway. This one is built so that it just asks for all the things first, so like I don't have to get spoiled as we're coming off with stuff.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So I get to participate. And that's pretty exciting.
KAYLA: I'm so excited for you.
SARAH: The first one is a place. I'm gonna go with Croatia.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: What's the capital of Croatia?
KAYLA: I am really bad at geography.
SARAH: I wouldn't expect you to know this one.
KAYLA: Dean would. Dean can do all his countries.
SARAH: Zagreb. Zagreb, Croatia.
KAYLA: Yeah, I wouldn't have known that.
SARAH: I don't think you've ever heard of Zagreb in your life.
KAYLA: I haven't.
SARAH: Yep. Exactly what I expected.
KAYLA: Alright.
SARAH: Oh, what a weird font. Okay, that's fine. Okay. Okay.
SARAH: (in a British accent) Next one. Oh, those are the shorts I want to buy. Next one. They popped up. Next one. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for the accent. I'm gonna stop. Body part.
KAYLA: Um.
SARAH: Weenus.
KAYLA: Left earlobe.
SARAH: Left earlobe. Okay.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Left. Ear. Lobe. This PDF is having an aneurysm. Every time.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: Every time I try and do anything. Next is a verb. Kayla, do you know what a verb is?
KAYLA: It's when the one that you do.
SARAH: Uh huh. Good job.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARRAH: To be fair, I only learned what a verb was when I, at least I only remembered what a verb was when I started learning German.
KAYLA: That's tough.
SARAH: It's so easy because in German, nouns, all nouns are capitalized. So of course I learned what a noun is.
KAYLA: Were you like sick the week of first grade that they did verbs?
SARAH: I knew how they worked.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I'm very good with sentences
KAYLA: Uh huh
SARAH: but I couldn't like, what's it called when you identify everything in a sentence?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: There's a name for that?
KAYLA: Sure.
SARAH: I think we did that like once in sixth grade and I was in one head out the other head. You know, I got two heads.
(10:00)
KAYLA: So true.
SARAH: Anyway, verb, I think loafing like a cat.
KAYLA: Yeah. Yes. That's very good.
SARAH: adjective. Adjective is the one that describes the noun.
KAYLA: That’s the one that describes things. Yes. I'm going to say, here's the problem is like some of the words I'm thinking of, I'm like, oh, but that could be turned into like a very sexual thing.
SARAH: That's part of the fun.
KAYLA: I guess I want to say, what's the word?
SARAH: Girl, I have no idea what ballpark you're even in. I don't know what sport you're playing.
KAYLA: What's the word for like, what would describe the like ick that's on a slug?
SARAH: Sludge? Slime.
KAYLA: Sludgy? Slimy. Slimy.
SARAH: Slimy. I can't believe you just asked me for a word
KAYLA: (laughing) the ick that's on a slug.
SARAH: The next one is mood.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Murderous.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: The next one is body part.
KAYLA: Okay, so we already did left earlobe.
SARAH: Can we do weenus?
KAYLA: Sure, we can do weenus.
SARAH: Which weenus?
KAYLA: Right weenus.
SARAH: Right weenus.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: For anyone who doesn't know, the weenus is the, it's like the tip of your elbow.
KAYLA: It's like the skin you can kind of pull. I know someone that can pull, like if you pull it, right, it only comes like a couple centimeters maybe. There's someone that their weenus like stretches.
SARAH: Like slime?
KAYLA: Like slime. So yeah, it's the skin that's like above, like it's on your elbow, so if you straighten your arm, you can kind of pull it.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It's extra skin.
SARAH: The only reason anyone knows that term is because it sounds like penis.
KAYLA: Sounds like penis.
SARAH: It's one of those words like aglet, where like no one knows it.
KAYLA: Is weenus even actually what it's called or did like-
SARAH: I have no idea or did, I mean who knows, but I mean it's a fairly well known amongst our people.
KAYLA: It's a slang word for the excess or loose skin at the joint of one's elbow, but is it real?
SARAH: Slang is a word. Slang is words. Verb past.
KAYLA: A past verb.
SARAH: Past tense verb
KAYLA: A verb is one that you do. I will say trotted.
SARAH: Trotted. What a delight.
KAYLA: Yeah. Just a little trot.
SARAH: Adjective. An adjective describes a noun.
KAYLA: A noun.
SARAH: See, I have to do that every time because adverb describes a verb, but it's not adnoun.
KAYLA: It really should be. What is it? What do we need, adjectives?
SARAH: Adjective describes a noun.
KAYLA: Flowery.
SARAH: Flowery. Like, like a rose. Not like an ingredient for a dough.
KAYLA: Yes, like a rose.
SARAH: Clothing. I think sweat bands.
KAYLA: (laughing) Oh, okay.
SARAH: Like specifically the ones on your wrists.
KAYLA: Yeah, and you do a little, you do a little wipe.
SARAH: Yeah. I mean I used to have those for gymnastics because you'd have to put them on on your grips for bars. But that's-
KAYLA: Yeah, same.
SARAH: That actually, that actually serves a purpose.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Okay. Next is a noun. Capital N noun.
KAYLA: Um.
SARAH: Garbage can.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Adjective.
KAYLA: I'm just looking around my room now.
SARAH: Bumpy. Another adjective.
KAYLA: Okay. I could do it. Um. Cubic. That has to be a word.
SARAH: No, it's a word, but is it an adjective?
KAYLA: Yeah, it describes the shape of something, right?
SARAH: I guess.
KAYLA: It wouldn't be a noun. How, what do you, you have no right to ask. You don't even know what a verb is.
SARAH: A number. 421.
KAYLA: Cubic. It is an adjective. Bitch.
SARAH: Okay. Cool.
KAYLA: Um.
SARAH: It’s time
KAYLA: Oh, are you reading it?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I'm so scared.
Uh.
SARAH: Mile. High. Club. On our –
KAYLA: I forgot that was the thing.
SARAH: On our trip to Zagreb, Croatia. I couldn't take my left earlobe off of you. I'm imagining
KAYLA: I’m just really sleepy. Just so sleepy.
SARAH: Like this left earlobe is just like stuck to like the middle of your thigh.
KAYLA: Ew.
SARAH: Like glue. Even on the airplane, I just couldn't loafing. I just couldn't loaf. You were driving. You were driving me slimy.
(15:00)
KAYLA: Mm. See, this is what I said. I said. I knew that would happen.
SARAH: I just, as I was starting to get – this is a typo.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I just, as I was starting to get murderous, you grabbed my right weenus and trotted me to the airplane bathroom.
(laughter)
KAYLA: I can picture it.
SARAH: It's beautiful.
KAYLA: I can picture it. Just grabbing the right wieners.
SARAH: Meanwhile, the left earlobe is still.
KAYLA: (laughing) Earlobe is still. Yes.
SARAH: Despite it being a bit flowery, you ripped off my wrist sweatbands and put it on. I was supposed to write garbage can, but I wrote grabage can.
KAYLA: I mean, even better, really.
SARAH: Put it on a grabage can for safekeeping. What can you even put it on in an airplane bathroom? There's nothing to put it on. The floor?
KAYLA: You could put it in the tiny sink, but I don't know.
SARAH: I thought you were going to say the toilet. We made –
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: We made bumpy cubic love –
KAYLA: But like, it seems accurate.
SARAH: (laughing) 421 miles above the ground, you are crashing. You are going to – if there's a mountain, you're going to hit it.
KAYLA: Yeah. No, you can't be doing that.
SARAH: Okay. Not 421 miles, you're going to hit it, but like, you're definitely, you're descending.
KAYLA: You're not where you should be.
SARAH: No. Now that won't be a trip we will ever forget.
KAYLA: Wow. I can't believe they drove them slimy.
SARAH: Drove them slimy.
KAYLA: You drive me slimy.
SARAH: This one's called sexy love.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Give me an adjective.
KAYLA: Oh, stringy.
SARAH: Mm. Different font this time. Okay.
KAYLA: Grabage can.
SARAH: A number. I would like to do 16,430.9
KAYLA: Oh, so specific.
SARAH: Mhm. Body part. I feel like there's going to be a lot of body parts.
KAYLA: Toenail.
SARAH: Toenail. Is that a body part or is that an appendage? Is that like a –
KAYLA: Appendages are body parts.
SARAH: Shut the fuck up.
KAYLA: Sorry.
SARAH: Or is it like an accessory to a body part?
KAYLA: Well, I mean, it is on your body – Now, I have to look it up.
SARAH: I think this could be argued in a court of law.
KAYLA: Yeah, maybe.
SARAH: My grandma doesn't have toenail.
KAYLA: I did not ask for toenail fung- I know she, this is not the first time. This is every fucking time. Toenail.
SARAH: She has some toenail. For my sister's wedding, they just painted the rest of her toenail.
KAYLA: I know. You told me.
SARAH: Another body part.
KAYLA: Yeah, this didn't help. Eyelash. I'm only going to do accessories.
SARAH: That is another accessory.
KAYLA: I'm only going to do accessories.
SARAH: Noun.
KAYLA: Tamagotchi.
SARAH: Tamagotchi.
KAYLA: I'm really just looking around my room.
SARAH: Noise. Blerp.
KAYLA: And what's the spelling on that?
SARAH: B-L-E-R-R-R-P. All caps.
KAYLA: Yeah, that seems right.
SARAH: Verb.
KAYLA: A verb?
SARAH: Stunting.
KAYLA: Oh, yeah. That's good.
SARAH: Adjective.
KAYLA: Grunkly.
SARAH: Runkly?
KAYLA: Grunkly?
SARAH: Grunkly.
KAYLA: Grunkly.
SARAH: Body part?
KAYLA: Knee pit.
SARAH: That is called a crinkle. And I refuse-
KAYLA: We can't do this.
SARAH: And I refuse-
KAYLA: We can't do this.
SARAH: And I refuse to let you whitewash my history.
KAYLA: (laughing) Whitewash. You and your family calling it the crinkle, it's the whitest thing about you.
SARAH: (laughing) It's just my nuclear family, too. It's not even beyond that.
KAYLA: It's not even your cousins.
SARAH: (laughing) It's just me and my sister. It's just me and my sister, but I refuse to write knee pit. I wrote crinkle.
KAYLA: (laughing) Fine, write crinkle. Whatever.
SARAH: Crinkle with a K.
KAYLA: It's with a K?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That makes it so much worse. I always thought it was with a C.
SARAH: No, it's with a K, because I said so.
KAYLA: Ohh.
(20:00)
SARAH: A pet name. Booby Boob.
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: Booby Boob. My little Booby Boob.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: are you ready?
KAYLA: I guess.
SARAH: Sexy love. I have been dreaming about having stringy sex with you.
KAYLA: Ew
SARAH: 16,430.9 times a day. That's a lot.
KAYLA: Yeah, that is a lot.
SARAH: You are absolutely not coming to completion all of those times.
KAYLA: Oh my god.
SARAH: There's no way.
KAYLA: Yeah, though, that would be impressive.
SARAH: I would be concerned about, I feel like that might be some sort of disorder, and maybe not like a bad disorder for you, but still something abnormal.
KAYLA: It would definitely get in the way of your functioning, like you wouldn't really have much time to do anything else.
SARAH: Anyway, I've been dreaming about having stringy sex with you 16,430.9 times a day since the day I laid my toenail on you.
KAYLA: Yuck
SARAH: Staring at your eyelash makes me want to rip off your Tamagotchi.
(laughter)
KAYLA: Uh huh
SARAH: All I want to do is make you blurp
KAYLA: Oh no
SARAH: as I stunt you. I always write the ing form, so I did say as I stunting you.
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean, that's the accurate way.
SARAH: Now does it mean like, girl, are you stunting, or is it like, like in cheerleading? Like stunting.
KAYLA: That's a good question, actually, just doing some backflips.
SARAH: Well, that's not a stunt. A stunt is when you're like throwing someone or you're holding someone.
KAYLA: But if they're doing it by themselves.
SARAH: You can stunt one other person. You can be a single base.
KAYLA: Yeah, but you need two people, there has to be a base and someone to be thrown.
SARAH: Yeah, you're stunting you. They're stunting you.
KAYLA: Oh, I thought they were like stunting in front of you as a show.
SARAH: No, do you want to know something funny and silly?
KAYLA: Yes, I do.
SARAH: First of all, fun fact I learned from my sister, Michigan is the only state in the United States where for the high school national – or the high school statewide cheerleading competitions, they're not allowed to use music.
KAYLA: What do they do?
SARAH: Well, but if you do use music, that becomes dance team.
KAYLA: Yeah, I guess that’s true
SARAH: in my opinion, because you've got those weird competitive cheer remixes that are like (gibberish) drop the beat.
KAYLA: Yeah, but they're not dancing.
SARAH: But it's way more impressive when they don't have music
KAYLA: Yeah I guess
SARAH: because then they have to stay together. Anyway, it's funny, because this past year, my high school, my alma mater won the state championship
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: which they have done a lot. They have a good cheer team like our football team is very bad and our cheer team is good, but they hadn't won in a couple of years. But it was funny because they got first place. And then second place was our rivals from also our district. And third place was the third high school also in our district.
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: It's just it's just those three that everyone else fuck yourselves. Anyway.
KAYLA: Damn. Get them.
SARAH: and that's Sarah's tales from her high school.
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: Sorry. I want all I want to do is make you blerp as I stunt you. The only that sounds like puking. The only thing I think about during the day is your grunkly body up against my crinkle. Xoxo, your booby boob.
KAYLA: Your grunkly body against my crinkle.
SARAH: I'm imagining a troll. This one I think could be very educational.
KAYLA: Oh, great.
SARAH: How to turn on a woman.
KAYLA: Oh, perfect. Yeah, no one knows that.
SARAH: Adjective. I always feel weird because I don't say the k-t like I say adjective.
KAYLA: Adjective. Yeah.
SARAH: It bothers me when people say adjective, which I know is like correct. Anyway.
KAYLA: Yeah, but, you know
SARAH: give me an adjective, adjective
KAYLA: bubbly
SARAH: bubbly, like that song by Colby Kelly
(Kayla singing)
SARAH: mother fucker. It's given me a new font every time. And this time the font was gigantic when I had my when I first got my iPod nano for a while, that was like the only song on my iPod.
(25:00)
KAYLA: It's a good song.
SARAH: It was the square kind, you know, iPod and it was the square anyway. Verb ing. Twerking. No. Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Noun. Bumblebee.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Body part.
KAYLA: Nostril. What if someone only had one, is that a thing where people only have like, it's, it's just, it becomes one big one. Is that possible?
SARAH: Maybe. I don't want to think about it. Verb.
KAYLA: Okay. Krump.
SARAH: Krump. Good.
KAYLA: Remember when krumping was a thing when we were kids? I'm sure it is still a thing.
SARAH: I mean it still is a thing
KAYLA :But I feel like, but I feel like when we were younger, krumping was like, people just were talking about krumping a lot.
SARAH: There were some krumpers on So You Think You Can Dance, like for the first time on that show when we were young.
KAYLA: Yes, that is why I was aware of krumping.
SARAH: Yeah. Adjective. Juicy.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Pet name.
KAYLA: Big Sean.
(laughter)
SARAH: Michigan native, Big Sean.
KAYLA: Wait, is he?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Oh shit.
SARAH: He was at a football game that one time, remember?
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: Oh. He was like a guest at a Michigan football game one time.
KAYLA: Yeah. Good for him.
SARAH: Noise. balegdeh For anyone who isn't aware, it's the noise that one of the members of Little Mix made when she asked to do a Jamaican accent.
KAYLA: I did not know. I always wondered where she was from. I didn't know it was Little Mix.
SARAH: Yeah. I can't remember which one. Show me a picture I could tell you, but I don't remember. Yeah, I know what she looks like, but. Location. Your mom's basement.
KAYLA: Oh. Shit. Damn.
SARAH: Oh my god, it changed fonts again. What is wrong with this PDF?
KAYLA: Just switching it up on you.
SARAH: A chore.
KAYLA: Sweeping.
SARAH: Sweeping the roof.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: Adverb.
KAYLA: Okay, that one describes a verb.
SARAH: Yeah. Quickly.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: That's kind of a boring choice, but it was the first adverb I thought of. Adjective.
KAYLA: Um.
SARAH: Janky. Body part. Inner ear.
KAYLA: Uvula.
SARAH: Okay, there's another body part next, so first one will be inner ear, the second one will be uvula.
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: Another word that people just know because it sounds vulva.
KAYLA: Funny. It does sound like vulva, yeah.
SARAH: Adjective.
KAYLA: Slippery.
SARAH: Mm. I'm concerned about that.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Another adjective. Rock hard.
KAYLA: Okay, well, listen now.
SARAH: I just glanced and I saw where that's gonna go, and what a fucking delight. Okay.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: How to turn on a woman. Turning on a woman can be a bubbly challenge, similar to twerking a bumblebee. Now, here's something fun. I don't know if this is true of bumblebees, but honey bees do a little dance.
KAYLA: Did you take a class about bees?
SARAH: Yeah, I took a German class about bees.
KAYLA: Bees, yeah, okay.
SARAH: But they do it to indicate to the other bees where the good pollen is, like where the
KAYLA: good kush
SARAH: the good flowers and stuff, and they do this little dance where they wiggle their butt.
KAYLA: They twerk.
SARAH: So they do twerk. Anyway, look right in her nostril and krump her.
KAYLA: (laughing) No.
SARAH: You can't krump a person. I'm imagining like crumpling, you know?
KAYLA: It would hurt to just like, yeah, krump on a person.
SARAH: Well, don't worry, because if that seems too juicy, there is another way to make your big Sean balegdeh.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: It's simple. Walk into your mom's basement
KAYLA: Oh shit
SARAH: and sweeping the roof for her.
KAYLA: Uh-huh.
SARAH: Where's your mom's basement, girl?
KAYLA: On the roof, it seems.
SARAH: Or is the roof, I bet there's roofing in your mom's basement, like old roofing or new roofing that needs to get put up but hasn't been there for like six months.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: She will quickly be able to resist you.
KAYLA: Oh, hmm, opposite.
SARAH: That's an interesting choice that they went for an adverb there. Because not, not is not an adverb.
KAYLA: Yeah, what were they hoping for?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: That's weird.
SARAH: She will slippery be able to resist you. She will krumptastically be able to resist you.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: There is only one janky rule you must not break. Never put your inner ear
(30:00)
SARAH: into her uvula in a slippery way.
KAYLA: (laughing)
SARAH: Now, there are a lot of reasons you should not put your inner ear in anything except your inner ear.
KAYLA: I mean, I think it would be near impossible to put your inner ear in something.
SARAH: And it would cause irreparable damage. ear-reparable damage.
KAYLA: Alright.
SARAH: That wouldn't work. Anyway, if you follow this guide, you are sure to turn on your rock hard woman.
KAYLA: Hell yeah.
SARAH: She's a brick house. You know, I thought we were going to go through more of these. I miss, I misestimated how long Mad Libs took. I have so many.
KAYLA: Well.
SARAH: Okay. Let's plan for one more.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Do we want to do how to turn on a man or do we want to go to one of the other Mad Libs that I found? For example, we have this one, which is an outline for what to put as your bio or what to send people for online dating.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: And it's from a website called betterafter50.com.
KAYLA: I think that sounds great.
SARAH: Well, there's because there's another one that's a similar thing, but it's from BrokeAssStuart.com.
KAYLA: Huh.
SARAH: So I don't know if we want to do that. We also have, yeah, these aren't as good. So yeah. So which one do we want to do?
KAYLA: I think the old person one.
SARAH: Old person.
KAYLA: Now I'm going to get in trouble for calling people over 50 old. I can already feel the members of our Discord saying excuse me.
SARAH: Listen, old white people have been pissing me off lately. And I know not old people are white. I'm aware of that fact.
KAYLA: That is so open-minded of you to say so.
SARAH: (laughing) Thank you. As a matter of fact, I think old non-white people are doing great. Michelle Yeoh?
KAYLA: Sure. Yeah, true.
SARAH: How old is she?
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: She's got to be close to 60. I mean, she's killing it, but Michelle Yeoh, she is exactly 60. So take that. I also didn't know she was Malaysian until yesterday.
KAYLA: The more you know.
SARAH: I knew she had done a lot of like movies in Hong Kong. So I just kind of assumed that she was from Hong Kong or Chinese or Taiwanese but she’s Malaysian. Good for her. Good for her. Anyway. Alright. The first thing it asks for is a website alias to use.
KAYLA: What does that mean?
SARAH: Like a name, like a softputter24. That's going to be it. : We're golfers now. Well, they're a golfer actually.
KAYLA: Oh. Interesting.
SARAH: I mean, we are old people, so. Okay. I really enjoy. No, we can't start yet. We have to do the words. Adverb or adjective. Oh, that's too many options. I'm overwhelmed. Overwhelmed.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Great. Relationship status.
KAYLA AND SARAH: It's complicated.
KAYLA: I just can't believe people sincerely used that on Facebook.
SARAH: Like. It's complicated. Potential relationship status. It's even more complicated.
KAYLA: It's complicated parentheses. Married.
SARAH: Oh, no.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: It's complicated. You know, it's hard for me to type when my mic is in front of me because I look at the keys a lot more than I realize.
KAYLA: That's embarrassing that you have to do that.
SARAH: I'm just like checking. It's because I don't keep my hands in the right spot.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: We can’t all be you.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: I know some of us like beat Mavis Beacon as a child, but we did type to learn. Okay. We didn't have Mavis Beacon. We did type to learn. And we had the little covers over the thing and they didn't really help.
KAYLA: Yeah. We had like the orange fucking nasty rubber things that made it so...
SARAH: Ours were black
KAYLA: They were orange rubber things that went over the whole… And it was terrible. But yeah, some of us can carry full conversations while typing other things.
SARAH: My brain is not capable of that.
KAYLA: You would think mine wouldn't be either, but here we are.
SARAH: Like I would type the things I was saying or say the things I was typing or just implode. Okay. Adjective.
KAYLA: Rubbery.
SARAH: Oh dear. Another adjective.
KAYLA: Sticky.
SARAH: Sticky?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Date a year. Like a full date. Like a full date with a year.
(35:00)
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: No. I almost did September 11th.
KAYLA: What about the 21st night of September?
SARAH: That's much better than September 11th.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: (laughing) I'm very sorry.
KAYLA: Yeah. Not great.
SARAH: What year?
KAYLA: 1969.
SARAH: Nice. You know what my parents were doing then?
KAYLA: When?
SARAH: The 21st night of September 1969.
KAYLA: I don't.
SARAH: Being fucking infants.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: And now everyone knows how old my parents are. How long are you an infant for? Like when do you stop becoming an infant?
KAYLA: Probably at like seven months.
SARAH: Okay. My dad was just barely not an infant anymore.
KAYLA: Okay. Because at some point you turn from infant to baby and then baby to toddler.
SARAH: Yeah. Anyway. Noun. Toddler.
KAYLA: Infant. Oh.
SARAH: Which one?
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: Rock, paper, scissors. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Oh fuck. Alright. Infant. Number.
KAYLA: 420
SARAH: I saw, I saw, I saw the concept, the context of this. So like, okay, you want 420?
KAYLA: Yeah, obviously. We're playing Mad Libs.
SARAH: I would, I would not.
KAYLA: There are only two number options.
SARAH: I said 421 last time. So.
KAYLA: That's fair.
SARAH: Noun or adverb.
KAYLA: How can it be either? Two very different things.
SARAH: Rug.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Like a, like a nice fancy. It cannot be the correct term to call them Oriental rugs. There's gotta be a better term.
KAYLA: I know what you're talking about, but there has to be a better word for that at this point.
SARAH: There's gotta be a better term. Because that is not, hold on, let me Google this.
KAYLA: Can't say that.
SARAH: But like it is a certain type of.
KAYLA: Yeah, like I can picture what you're talking about.
SARAH: Persian style. Okay.
KAYLA: That sounds better.
SARAH: Persian style. That's much better. Okay. Another noun or adverb.
KAYLA: The escape key on the keyboard.
SARAH: Oh, that's long. Okay. The escape key on a keyboard. Noun.
KAYLA: Extension cord.
SARAH: Now you're on a roll. Jimin with an extension cord if you know you now.
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: Noun.
KAYLA: Oh, so many nouns.
SARAH: Banana milk. I spelled that so wrong. It's because I wasn't looking at the keys.
KAYLA: Oh my God.
SARAH: I wrote banana nukja. We need two more nouns, bestie.
KAYLA: Shoelace.
SARAH: And
KAYLA: amoxicillin.
SARAH: Amoxicillin. How the fuck do you spell amoxicillin?
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: I'm so sorry, Bagel. Amoxicillin. I might be allergic to amoxicillin.
KAYLA: Great.
SARAH: Because I might be allergic to penicillin.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: And they're like the same family, right?
KAYLA: I don't know, but you should probably get that figured out.
SARAH: Yeah, you know, it would be helpful for me to get tested because I've never had it because like family history, like my mom's allergic and like my grandma and my aunts. So like we've always just said that I'm allergic. But like it is a pretty common thing to treat things.
KAYLA: Yeah you should know that
SARAH: Well, when my sister got tested for all the things, she found out that she was not allergic to penicillin, but she was in fact allergic to everything on the planet. Except for penicillin and dust mites.
KAYLA: Oh, well
SARAH: everyone's allergic to dust mites, not my sister.
KAYLA: She's built different.
SARAH: She's built different. She's allergic to corn.
KAYLA: Yeah, like a normal person.
SARAH: A normal fucking person.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Oh, my God. I'm sorry. We have three more nouns.
KAYLA: Oh, my God. Corn.
SARAH: Corn. It's corn.
KAYLA: What are other things in my room? Kit and caboodle.
SARAH: Kit and caboodle? Or kitten caboodle.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: I keep missing. I was aiming for the like the and like symbol.
KAYLA: Mhm
SARAH: I got a dollar sign. I got percent sign.
KAYLA: Yeah, I will say the symbols. I don't know. I don't know those. I got to look for those.
SARAH: I swear to God, it's not always been in the same spot.
KAYLA: It probably has.
SARAH: When I was a child and I would write my little stories in my family's computer, I always used the and like the ampersand. I don't know, because I did. I swear to God, it was not on the seven.
(40:00)
KAYLA: What number do you think it was on?
SARAH: Five?
KAYLA: Hm. No.
SARAH: Okay. Bestie pop. We need one more noun.
KAYLA: Bestie pop?
SARAH: Bestie pop.
KAYLA: That's fun.
SARAH: Bestie pop. That's our noun.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Previous relationship status.
KAYLA: It’s complicated
SARAH: We already did that
KAYLA: parentheses Dead.
SARAH: Oh, my God. Another previous relationship status.
KAYLA: Not yet born.
SARAH: Wow. Okay. The next one is a pronoun. I think we should do Xir, like X-I-R.
KAYLA: Uh huh
SARAH: I think that's good. Clothing option.
KAYLA: Clothing option?
SARAH: Like a piece of clothing.
KAYLA: Okay. Toe socks.
SARAH: Oh, no. Jungkook, is that you?
KAYLA: I used to have toe socks.
SARAH: Jungkook really likes his toe socks. That neurodivergent ass motherfucker. Truly. Another clothing.
KAYLA: Spanx.
SARAH: I need two numbers from you.
KAYLA: One.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: And seven.
SARAH: You're not going to do 69?
KAYLA: We already did that.
SARAH: No, we did 420.
KAYLA: I did 69 earlier.
SARAH: You did not – oh the year.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I just forget that sometimes because it's like the actual year my parents were born.
KAYLA: Well, they were born in the silly year.
SARAH: They were. They were born in the silly year. Okay. You said seven.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: It's the seven again. Adjective. Oh, no. What happened to my seven?
KAYLA: Oh, no. Not the seven.
SARAH: Adjective.
KAYLA: Clicky.
SARAH: Clicky. Like.
KAYLA: This one's long.
SARAH: Like C-L-I-C-K-Y or C-L-I-Q-U-E-Y.
KAYLA: The first one.
SARAH: Okay. Number.
KAYLA: Oh, a trillion.
SARAH: Favorite food.
KAYLA: Worms.
SARAH: Number.
(laughing)
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: Number. Two numbers, actually.
KAYLA: Pi.
SARAH: Pi. Okay. That was yesterday.
KAYLA: Negative 12.
SARAH: Negative 12. You know, today's the Ides of March. Please beware it.
KAYLA: I shall.
SARAH: Too late. I already stabbed you in the back.
KAYLA: Fuck.
SARAH: Name of book? Magazine. Toilet reading. Online article.
KAYLA: That's – why?
SARAH: Something you can read.
KAYLA: Our book, obviously.
SARAH: Oh, I was going to say smutty manga, but that's good.
KAYLA: Well, opposite ends.
SARAH: A date with a year.
KAYLA: April 20, 1969.
SARAH: You know, that's Hitler's birthday.
KAYLA: Yeah, I know. It's funny.
SARAH: It's also our friend's mom's birthday.
KAYLA: It's our friend's – Heather’s birthday. Yeah. Tough
SARAH: Heather’s been on the pod.
KAYLA: That's true. Way back in the day.
SARAH: Way back in the day. Noun, adjective, or adverb. Too many fucking options.
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: Just pick a word. Tinkerbell.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Another fucking noun, adjective, or adverb.
KAYLA: Plaque.
SARAH: Black?
KAYLA: Teeth. Plaque like on your teeth.
SARAH: Plaque. Got it. We're getting close to the end. Gender preference.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: So true. Number?
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: I need two more numbers, actually. Last two.
KAYLA: Two.
SARAH: Okay. And one more.
KAYLA: Oh, nine.
SARAH: And a noun or an adjective.
KAYLA: Mm. Sweaty.
SARAH: Sweaty. Okay. Yeah, I think this is, it was too loosey goosey with the options, so I think this might not make sense.
KAYLA: That's weird. Good. Can't wait.
SARAH: Alright. Dear SoftPutter24.
KAYLA: God, I forgot how we started.
SARAH: I really enjoyed reading your profile and thought you were very overwhelmed. I noticed. I spelled overwhelmed profoundly wrong.
KAYLA: Good
SARAH: Let me fix it. Doesn't matter. I'm not going to save it. I noticed that you are it's complicated. Are you seriously interested in meeting your future it's complicated marriage?
(laughter)
SARAH: Or would you simply prefer to keep it rubbery and only have a sticky relationship?
KAYLA: (laughing) Good.
SARAH: I think my like off-brand transatlantic accent is really adding.
KAYLA: It does. It adds a lot. Yeah.
SARAH: Your photo was taken on the 21st night of September 1969 and your head of hair is now infant. When I was an infant, I did not have a head of hair as an infant.
(45:00)
KAYLA: Honestly though that makes sense
SARAH: I saw a picture of a small child recently and I was like that child like a baby baby and I was like that child has more hair than I did when I was two.
KAYLA: My friend had an infant recently and it came out with a bunch of hair but now it's like falling out which I guess is normal but so he has the infant has male pattern balding. It’s so funny.
SARAH: Babies are so silly. I kind of hate them.
KAYLA: I know.
SARAH: But you know what good for them. Okay. You have 420 children.
KAYLA: Wow.
SARAH: That’s a lot. It must must be adopted at least at least a lot of them.
KAYLA: A donor perhaps.
SARAH: Yeah. Perhaps. If you had to choose between an evening of Persian style rug with me or the escape key on a keyboard with your children, what would you choose?
KAYLA: I would choose the escape key personally.
SARAH: I kind of like Persian style rugs. I'm into rugs.
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah.
SARAH: Should I buy rugs? To put on my wall.
KAYLA: IKEA has good rugs in their like clearance section.
SARAH: My entire apartment is carpeted though.
KAYLA: I wish I had that
SARAH: So like I like I do have rugs but like they're not as helpful.
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah.
SARAH: I've always lived in a place that's like carpeted. America.
KAYLA: I miss carpet.
SARAH: America. Okay. Your interests include banana milk and shoelace and amoxicillin.
KAYLA: Perfect.
SARAH: Will you still have time for my interests of corn and kit and caboodle and bestie pop? I'm imagining a caboodle full of corn.
KAYLA: Yes, obviously.
SARAH: (laughing) Is your former, is your former it's complicated dead still in your life?
KAYLA: Oh no. Clearly not.
SARAH: So they've they've been it's complicated the whole time but they're very
KAYLA: That’s very insensitive.
SARAH: Do you want to be my future it's complicated married? How is your former it's complicated?
KAYLA: How insensitive.
SARAH: I know. Does your former not yet born still think zir pronoun I was reading it literally. I included the thing in the parentheses.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Does your former not yet born still think zir is in your life? Is that even the right form of that?
KAYLA: I don't. I don't quite understand that sentence structure to be honest
SARAH: I don't either. You asked that I look good in a toe socks at night and Spanx on casual days. You are one feet tall without shoes and seven feet tall with stilettos slash elevator shoes.
KAYLA: Those are some tall stilettos.
SARAH: (laughing) Some really tall stilettos. You mentioned your body type as clicky and you
(laughter)
SARAH: It's like when people describe slime. I do not like the clicky sound of slimes.
KAYLA: What is it? It's just like your joints are cracking all the time. You're just clicky.
SARAH: I like watching slime videos, but I don't like listening to them.
KAYLA: yeah.
SARAH: Anyway, you mentioned your body type is clicky and you exercise a trillion times a week.
KAYLA: Damn
SARAH: Yet you choose to eat worms at least pi times a week. I noticed that you make negative 12 per year salary.
KAYLA: Damn. That's tough.
SARAH: (laughing) That's rough. That ain't no Mr. Darcy. Ten thousand a year. No, no, no. Is that gross or net? Please circle one. We didn't please circle one. Sorry. I missed that.
KAYLA: Damn
SARAH: Your last book read was the sounds fake, but okay. Nice
KAYLA: Hell yeah
SARAH: On April 20th, 1969. Girl, one of my parents didn't even exist yet. How was I supposed to exist?
KAYLA: That doesn't seem right.
SARAH: You are turned off by Tinkerbell and blank plaque. Lastly, you prefer yes under the age of two. Would you accept the age of nine? If I had sweaty. That's it.
KAYLA: Oh, no. Well, I hope if any of you are making a dating profile, you take some wisdom.
SARAH: Some advice from softputter24.
KAYLA: Yeah, because that was clearly really good.
SARAH: I also like how this person is describing their ideal date, but also asking questions. I don't know. It's confusing.
(50:00)
KAYLA: Also, they're basically just saying, your profile said this.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I know I wrote it.
SARAH: Damn. It really should be, dear softputter24, here is everything about my profile.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Anyway, that's all. This has been, oh, that took so long.
KAYLA: That was a long one.
SARAH: I'm so sorry. This has been this. Kayla, what's our poll for this week? Would you date softputter24?
KAYLA: Would you date softputter24?
SARAH: Why?
KAYLA: Why? That's good.
SARAH: Great. Kayla, what is your beef and your juice this week?
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: Can I go first before I forget?
KAYLA: My – oh yep
SARAH: I need to see an ENT, an ear, nose, and throat doctor because my ear is full of wax.
KAYLA: It's wild, y'all. She sent me the video.
SARAH: I got one of those things. It's a little camera that you can stick in your ear, and I was hoping to get some stuff out. But then everyone that I've showed the video to has been like, Sarah, you need to see a professional for that.
KAYLA: It literally looks like if you're a person like me who likes to watch earwax extraction videos on the internet, it's like one of those. It's so impacted in your ear.
SARAH: My mom thinks that it is still impacting my hearing, and I just don't realize it.
KAYLA: Yes. I'm sure it is. It's very thick.
SARAH: Because I fucked up my hearing in December, and I thought it mostly got better, but I think I just got used to it.
KAYLA: Well, yeah, I bet it got a little bit better, and you think it's back to normal because it's been so long.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But I swear to God, you're going to get that out, and you're going to hear colors.
SARAH: Amazing.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Anyway, my juice. I thought of one when I was opening my door today.
KAYLA: Mhm
SARAH: What was it?
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: A new Jimin music. First Jimin music. Go off, Bestie. It's going to end K-pop. That’s what p dawg said
KAYLA: Slay.
SARAH: Peter Dawgington.
KAYLA: Damn. I mean, man.
SARAH: That's all. What is your beef and your juice?
KAYLA: My beef is that I'm so mentally ill.
SARAH: Oh my God, same.
KAYLA: So yeah, full stop there. But also, I've been listening to this new audiobook. It's called The Ones We Burn. It's a fiction, and it's gay
SARAH: Burn
KAYLA: so that's fun. Like a fantasy. I'm in the part of the book where all of the conflict is happening right now, and it so drastically affects my mood when things are going bad in book or in whatever fiction I'm taking in. Why?
SARAH: Hm
KAYLA: Anyway, I'm so much Leo. My juice is Tetris. I recently purchased, off of the Electronic Bay –
SARAH: Ebay?
KAYLA: a 2002 handheld Tetris game, which is because it's the same one that we had when I was a child, because Dean was playing the Game Boy Simulator on his Switch, and they had classic Tetris, and I was like, I loved Tetris as a kid. I need the exact
SARAH: Oh my god
KAYLA: device that I played it on as a child. So I bought one off the Electronic Bay, and I've been playing it so much. I love Tetris.
SARAH: Oh my god. I love that for you.
KAYLA: Thank you
SARAH: I see every day, well, I have for the past little while, there's a billboard that I pass. There's something, a TV show or a movie coming out called Tetris with Taron Egerton
KAYLA: I have not heard
SARAH: and so I see it, and so I see it, and the tagline is like the true story. I forgot the rest of the tagline.
KAYLA: Is it like the story of Tetris?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: Now I have to know
SARAH: But I see it when I drive to work, because I live in LA, and most of our billboards are for TV shows.
KAYLA: Tetris movie.
SARAH: For a while, there was a...
KAYLA: Is it with this man?
SARAH: Taron Egerton?
KAYLA: I don't know, he's just this guy.
SARAH: Elton John?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Yeah. You know, what was that movie with the doll girl?
KAYLA: Hank Rogers discovers Tetris. What do you mean, he discovers Tetris? What, it's like in the wild and you catch it in the forest? What do you mean?
SARAH: (laughing) I believe that's called inventing.
KAYLA: What does that mean?
SARAH: What's the movie that the gays love with the doll?
KAYLA: Sorry, say again?
SARAH: The movie that the gays love, the horror movie with the doll
KAYLA: Megan.
SARAH: There was a Megan billboard outside of my work for a while, and she would just look at me.
KAYLA: Yeah. Anyway, this movie is about the high stakes drama of getting the intellectual rights to Tetris. That sounds, as a lover of Tetris, boring as hell.
SARAH: Oh my god, I just realized we –
(55:00)
SARAH: the last part of the last Mad Libs, we need a website alias for ourselves. It got cut off.
KAYLA: Tetris 69.
SARAH: 69 is so boring.
KAYLA: Tetris 96.
SARAH: Tetris 696, like the highway in Michigan.
KAYLA: Great. Tetris 8008.
SARAH: Boob?
KAYLA: Boo.
SARAH: Okay. Was that your beef and your juice?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Okay. You can tell us about your beef and your juice, your petris.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: Imagine having a pet and naming it Petris.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: Petra? Petra's a good name for a pet.
KAYLA: That's actually a name, yeah.
SARAH: Yeah, I know. I think I've seen a dog named Petra on the internet before. You can tell us about your things. Yeah, you got it. You can tell us about the G-strings you learned along the way in the car.
KAYLA: Okay. Alright.
SARAH: On the way to camping. On our social media at SoundsFakePod. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com, soundsfakepod, if you want to support us there. I don't know why you would, but it's an option. We have a new $2 Patreon. It is NapLord. That is a great name.
KAYLA: That's just like me for real.
SARAH: And it's good for a website, like an at.
KAYLA: That's very good.
SARAH: Imagine if instead of SoftPutter24, it was NapLord.
KAYLA: That's really good. That's a good name.
SARAH: Really excellent. I love Naps. Our $5 patrons. Who we are promoting this week? Are Nick Ford, Phoenix Eliot, Rachel, Ria Faustino, and someone who has asked to not receive a shout out.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Won't tell you who they are.
KAYLA: Secret.
SARAH: Secret. For the record, they've been on the list for like months and months and months. This is just the first time I've acknowledged that they exist.
KAYLA: Well, good, because that's what they asked for.
SARAH: That's what they asked for. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Barefoot Backpacker, who would like to promote their podcast, Travel Tales from beyond the brochure, SongofStorm, who would like to promote a healthy work-life balance, The Steve, who would like to promote Ecosia, a search engine for the trees, and Zirklteo, who would like to promote the fact that England is not real and never has been. Our $10 patrons. No, they're also still $10. Not promoting. Arcnes, Alyson, Ari K, Benjamin Ybarra, David Harris, Elle Bitter, My Aunt Jeannie, Maggie Capalbo, Martin Chiesl, Mattie, Nathan Lisch, Potater, Purple Hayes. Sorry that we show favoritism to Martin Chiesl, but what are you going to do?
KAYLA: Martin finally got his book, so that's exciting.
SARAH: What a delight.
KAYLA: Update for everyone.
SARAH: Update for everyone. Our $15 patrons are Andrew Hillum, who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Click4Caroline, who would like to promote Ace of Hearts, Dia Chappell, who would like to promote twitch.tv/melodydia, Hector Murillo, who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow a better person, and John Young, who would like to promote… Never messaging Me back. Did I message him more than once?
KAYLA: Damn.
SARAH: Unclear. I'm not sure. Probably not.
KAYLA: Probably not.
SARAH:. Keziah Root, who would like to promote people who come into your life just for a small time, but right when you need them Maff, who is absolutely goated. Maff is new. Maff, first of all, 16.50. What a specific number.
KAYLA: I love that.
SARAH: Maff would like to promote catching up on the podcast after two years, and I would like to promote the fact that Maff messaged me before I could ask them what they wanted.
KAYLA: Which, not to dunk on the rest of you, but that is what we ask you to do.
SARAH: Absolutely fucking goated. And Maff followed directions, so that's a good one.
KAYLA: So well.
SARAH: I went to message them actually before the pod, which was crazy in and of itself.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's wild.
SARAH: And I saw that they had already messaged me. For some reason, I didn't see the email that they messaged, but whatever. I don't check that email.
KAYLA: You really don't.
SARAH: Thank you, math. You rock. Nathaniel White, who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com. Kayla’s Aunt Nina, who would like to promote KateMaggartArt.com. And Sara Jones, who would like to promote @eternalloli everywhere Our $20 patrons are Sabrina Hauck. Merry Christmas to you. And Dragonfly, who would like to promote me remembering the thing that I was going to have someone promote. I don't think it was that serious. It's never that serious. Thanks for listening.
KAYLA: It's never that serious.
SARAH: Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: Until then, take good care of your cows.
(59:38)