Sounds Fake But Okay
Sounds Fake But Okay
Ep 108: Self-Partnered
Hey what's up hello! This week we talk about Emma Watson's Vogue interview where she talks about being "self-partnered." Is the term self-partnered revolutionary? What is our aromantic perspective?
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/self-partnered
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[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey what's up hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl, I'm Sarah, that's me.
KAYLA: And a demi-straight girl, that's me, Kayla.
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, self-partnering.
BOTH: Sounds Fake, But Okay.
[Intro Music]
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod!
KAYLA: I'm trying to have it, I'm just trying to make it, I'm trying to get it to work, M. O. Watson.
SARAH: Oh, okay.
KAYLA: I think that's good.
SARAH: That sort of worked.
KAYLA: I think that's good and comedy.
SARAH: Alright. I would like to apologize to our listeners for my current state of being. I don't feel that great.
KAYLA: I thought you were going to apologize for me and I was like, don't, I'm proud.
SARAH: I'm… Kayla is proud of that. I don't feel great.
KAYLA: Yay.
SARAH: What are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week, second week in a row that I brought a topic. Can you even believe it?
SARAH: Incredible
KAYLA: I cannot. So yesterday, which was for us Tuesday.
SARAH: Tuesday.
KAYLA: I guess Emma Watson was trending on Twitter and my friend at work was like, why is Emma Watson trending on Twitter? And she looked and so Emma Watson did an article with British Vogue that I think came out on Tuesday. And it's about a lot of stuff. She's in Little Women, which is coming out soon. She kind of just talked about her life. So, she talked about all of her activist things that she's been up to. She talked about Little Women. She talked about her experiences.
SARAH: Turning 30.
KAYLA: Well, I'm getting to that. She talked about… so not all of this was in the short version of the article that you could read without looking at British Vogue. I don't know. But I guess in the main big article she talks about like going to therapy after she's in Harry Potter because she had like imposter syndrome about it. But the thing that everyone was picking up on and was like all the tea and I think was what made her trend and then made like a thousand articles come out today is that she's talking about turning 30. And hold on, let me find the article. So, she was basically talking about turning 30 and like her experience with that and was talking about how she originally was like, oh turning 30 like not a big deal and then she turned 21 and she was like holy shit. I'm very scared.
SARAH: 29
KAYLA: That's what I meant.
SARAH: You said 21.
KAYLA: I know. I'm very good. So, the title of this article is Emma Watson: I'm very happy being single. I call it being self-partnered. So self-partnered is like what started like this self-partner thing is what's in all the articles that are coming out like today, Wednesday, and what everyone's talking about like on Twitter. So, she basically talks about how- so she said and I realize it's because like why she's anxious about being 29. “I realized it's because there's suddenly this bloody influx of subliminal messaging around if you have not built a home, if you do not have a husband, if you do not have a baby, and you're turning 30 and you're not in some incredibly secure stable place in your career, or you're still figuring things out, there's just an incredible amount of anxiety.” And then she said, “I never believed the whole I'm happy single spiel. I was like, this is totally a spiel and it took a”… ma'am. Get out of my sink. There's a cat in my sink. And she was like, “it's totally a spiel” and said “it took me a long time, but I'm very happy being single. I call it being self-partnered.” So, this is what everyone is talking about, is this concept of self-partnered. And like living a happy single life and everyone thinks it's very revolutionary, which thoughts before I have more thoughts.
SARAH: I mean, I think it's good. I think talking about being single as like a very positive thing and like you can be happy as a single person is good. I don't think it's revolutionary necessarily.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Just because like a, you know, a straight person is saying it, people might be like, wow, it's revolutionary. But I think in ace communities, what is your cat doing?
KAYLA: She's in my sink. Hold on. Do you mind? Thank you. I’m trying to have a professional podcast. Thank you. This is paying for your food bills. Thank you.
SARAH: Okay. But I think in ace communities, that's not new.
KAYLA: Or like aro, specifically.
SARAH: Yeah, yeah, in aro communities, that's not like new or revolutionary. I think it's good, I just don't think... And I think it's great that she's talking about it in this way, but I don't think she should necessarily get credit for like inventing this thing, because she hasn't invented anything.
KAYLA: Well, yeah, and I would say no one is giving her credit for inventing it.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I do think it's interesting though, what I think is interesting is that this is what people latched on to, and that that's what they like made the headline.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Because she talks about like a lot of stuff in this British Vogue thing, from like feminism to Little Women, which is like I think the main reason she's getting interviewed for stuff is because Little Women is coming out soon. She talks about all this stuff, and then this is what they are really latching on to. And what like all the other articles about, which I think is interesting.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But there are… so there are a lot of articles on this, I have skimmed several, but I liked the CNN one.
SARAH: Hit me with it.
KAYLA: They're saying it's very like consciously uncoupled-esque vibe to this. But they do say, so to us, right, we're like, yeah, obviously people are happy single. However, I think we are more woke than others.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: “British TV host and we can only assume self-appointed relationship expert Piers Morgan,” says CNN, “jeered on his TV show, ‘self-partnered means you can't get a bloke, right?’” And then other Twitter people were like, no, what's wrong with being single?
SARAH: Also, she's Emma Watson. She could get a bloke if she needed one.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Piers.
KAYLA: So, I guess apparently when Piers Morgan was talking about this, the studio played the song most associated with the tragic loneliness of best known singleton Bridget Jones, all by myself in the background. So, then we kind of go on and I saw this in several other articles talking about how this statement and they were talking about, I think Selena Gomez and the song that came out, like after she broke up with Justin Bieber or whatever, that was all about like, yay being single and other like women pop stars. I feel like it was either Whitney Houston, maybe that they, another article mentioned, but I'm not looking at that article right now.
SARAH: Maybe the song Single 06 Remix by Natasha Bedingfield.
KAYLA: Oh my god.
SARAH: An iconic song.
KAYLA: So basically, this other article, maybe I should go back and find it, this other article was talking about kind of the rise of like single, like the rise of culture about like being okay with being single and how that's kind of becoming new in the past like couple of years, maybe like decade. Because before that we did have our Bridget Jones. Oh, also the CNN article “Emma Watson looked shame in the face and won.” Interesting title.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: I do like the rest of the article though, but that's an interesting title.
SARAH: It is an interesting title.
KAYLA: But so, this article and some others were talking about how this is really good, this is like a rise because I think the early 2000s especially it was like, oh you're single let's do this rom-com and like Bridget Jones you're turning 30 and it's your spinster. This one other article was also talking about like people studying kind of the idea of spinsters and like writing books about that idea and stuff which I feel like we talk kind of about in the witch episode.
SARAH: Yes, witches.
KAYLA: So, I do think you're right this is nothing new, but I also wonder if it's nothing new because we are young and this is what we grew up in, you know?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I do wonder for people that are like 10 or 20 years older than us if this isn't new.
SARAH: Yeah, I mean I can totally understand that a lot of people haven't necessarily had this perspective before like for someone like me or you who as you said like kind of grew up in a society that was becoming more open to that sort of thing and then for me also just being aro-ace and being like I want to be happy in my life even if I am single. Like I definitely view it as like this is fine, this is like I'm unbothered by this. But I mean if you grew up in a world where it was all about getting married and having kids and being a mother and blah blah blah blah blah blah I can see that… I can see this being kind of a revelatory thing for those people.
KAYLA: Yeah, and I’d also say like as someone that's like specifically not aro like I've definitely had the fear of like dying alone like even though I'm in this culture and like we talk about like the importance of friendship and all that stuff like on a weekly basis like I still have that too.
[00:10:00]
SARAH: Don't we all because society hates us.
KAYLA: Well, that's true, but like I honestly… if I was single at 30, I don't know I would probably be freaking out just like thinking of who I am as a person.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, I don't know yeah definitely not like radical or anything but I do really appreciate it and I have a cat who is playing.
SARAH: She's making a lot of noise.
KAYLA: I know should I take away her toy? Maybe I will. You're done. Go play with something quiet. I love you. Okay but and for people like I feel like you are pretty secure in well I guess I don't know correct me if I'm wrong in your like singleness.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But I can imagine that there's quite a few Aro or Ace people out there who maybe are not as secure and who maybe like the rise of like a nice word instead of like spinster like oh you're single like a nicer more delicate way to put it like self-partnered.
SARAH: Yeah, yeah and I think just too even for people who are Aro-Ace like as they get older I imagine it gets harder
KAYLA: Oh yeah
SARAH: Because like I am I'm 22 right now like…
KAYLA: Yes, congratulations
SARAH: Thank you
KAYLA: I know that took a lot of work
SARAH: Thank you. Like 50 years ago, it may have been a little bit weird to be 22 and single and not date anyone
KAYLA: Oh, for sure
SARAH: But in this world now it's okay, but like once you get like as Emma Watson says closer to 30 it starts being like there's a lot more pressure on just like you know other people are getting married and like everyone else is like having a family and I can see there being a lot more pressure and so I think… like earlier I know I said like she doesn't deserve like praise or whatever which seemed kind of harsh but like because I really like Emma Watson and…
KAYLA: Oh, she's my favorite
SARAH: Yeah and I think that this is a great thing to talk about and I'm glad that someone like her who I trust to not be problematic about it knock on wood is the person who's kind of like bringing this into the public consciousness and as much as it sucks that it is like a straight person who's like “hey everyone it's okay” I think there is a certain amount of like other straight people will look at her and be like oh well she's straight too and she's saying it's okay and like she's genuinely comfortable with this and so you know it might be easier for some people to look at her who might feel more like a peer to them as much as Emma Watson is a peer to anybody, she's a queen but like it might feel easier to swallow coming from her rather than if it were coming from me.
KAYLA: Right, I mean she really is… I mean I think as relatable as a celebrity is she's… I mean she went to fucking college you know she…
SARAH: Yeah, she went to…
KAYLA: I mean what I…
SARAH: Brown.
KAYLA: Brown, I think
SARAH: She actually went to Brown
KAYLA: What I respect most about Emma Watson is that she took a year off from her career to read feminist literature and study from like respected feminists which obviously not everyone has the luxury or the means to do but the fact that she was like I'm in a powerful position I have enough like money to sustain myself and this is what I will do with an entire year I like respect the hell out of that, and in the Vogue article too when she was talking about Little Women which is a movie I am so excited for because it's like Saoirse Ronan and just like… it's very good so she talks about Little Women in this article obviously because that's probably what this article is supposed to be about but it just shows what like a great feminist Emma Watson is which is off topic but too bad sorry
SARAH: She's an icon
KAYLA: She is
SARAH: And she's so pretty, I've just been staring at this picture of her…
KAYLA: Oh yeah, very good
SARAH: And wow she’s so beautiful
KAYLA: Anyway, I haven’t read/watched the stage production of Little Women in many years because that's like the biggest exposure I have is one time I was at a theater thing and they showed it, anyway, so she plays Margaret/Meg who I guess is the sister that like gets married and she's saying with Meg's character her way of being a feminist is making the choice that's really for me anyway what feminism is about her choice that she wants to be a full-time mother and wife and then to Joe her sister Saoirse Ronan being married is really some sort of like prison sentence, so I just really like that she talks about like it's if you get married and you're a mom like that's still feminist and like as long as it's a choice that you're making like that's totally fine and good which I love because I think a lot of people who are like, I hate feminists it's because they think that they don't want to be do any of that and then some people who look at people that like want to be mothers or wives or partnered or like well you can't be feminist it's like well they can, so anyway
SARAH: Yeah, I think she has a very nuanced understanding of it
KAYLA: I mean you can tell she's like done her homework
SARAH: Yeah she has definitely done her homework and she… and I think people who may look at her like talking about like you know being totally happy being like self-partnered they might be like well she's just saying that because it's like a defense mechanism or something but like if you look at… like she really likes playing the character of Meg who is a wife and mother and that's important to that character and she's like very good with that as that character's motivation but like for herself that's not where she's at right now and she's also totally cool with that, I think being able to look at both of those things and being like these are both totally fair good options as long as you're the one making the choice, like I think that will help people to be like yeah this is okay, like she's trustworthy
KAYLA: Yeah, and I think like as… I don't know on the one end I think you could look at this be like yeah this is not revolutionary like obviously you can be happy single but also if you look at like the media and what they're like shoving down women's throats it's still like very nerve-racking for a woman to get old because like you never see old women in the media like older than what like 40
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like as much as we can like be positive and like things are changing like it's still really hard to be a woman in general but also just like getting older and having those expectations on you and I think obviously like the same can be said for men as well that like I think it's a little easier for men to like be married and get older but it's still obviously there's those pressures and everything
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Which leads into this next part of the CNN article where this person says, this article says it's very weird really so this is this is right after they are talking about Piers Morgan being a trash human, it's very weird really “Emma Watson is an independent and privileged as is possible without being a white man in a similar position” yeah “not only does she continue to share insecurities, those insecurities are met with a maelstrom of criticism for her honesty. By contrast this week saw 55 year old Kiana Reeves generate positive buzz for dating a woman nearly nine years his junior, it is as BBC journalist Louise Ridley pointed out on Twitter so telling that movie star, BAFTA winner, UN ambassador, Brown and Oxbridge graduate Emma Watson says she felt a pressure not having a partner and a baby by 30.” So like I mean as much as like this is like yeah this is obvious then you have this like you know that like how differently men are treated
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And it's like ah he's dating a woman that's just nine years younger than him because so often men in Hollywood date girls that are like so much younger than them and it's just like what?
SARAH: Yeah, and like also just looking at both of them as actors like as you mentioned earlier like once you get like past like 40 or 45 in Hollywood for women you're not getting leading roles anymore, whereas for men you can be 60 and you can be the leading role like it's just a much more accepted thing to be… not even like old just like middle aged for men in our society and…
KAYLA: People love middle-aged men
SARAH: I know, and so like…
KAYLA: They're like ooh silver fox, no
SARAH: Right and it's like you know if a woman is in the same situation, it's seen as very different and it shouldn't be.
KAYLA: Also, what I found really interesting so just like the reason these people are kind of reasoning like why is there so much pressure for women to not be single like because if you really think about it like what is it about women that makes it like you must not be single when you get older or you know like of whatever age
SARAH: Because they expect them to have kids
KAYLA: Yes, and I think people think that women are weaker so they like need a man to take care of them, very heteronormative, obviously, so this article says it… “there's evidence from studies have repeatedly shown that a man is likely to live longer and enjoy better mental and physical health if he's married to a woman,” kind of weird that they'd specify a woman but I guess I mean those are probably…
[00:20:00]
SARAH: That’s probably what the study was
KAYLA: Yes, what can you expect from a scientific study
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: “So, it's a little wonder that centuries of PR in a male run world are dedicated to teaching women that they're sad alone if they”… like if they're sad if they remain alone because men are like listen I need to marry a woman and able to… in order to be happy so I'm just going to keep telling women how sad it is to be single so then they have to marry me
SARAH: I need a woman who can like cook for me and clean for me because that's what women do
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Yeah, but isn't it that women who are married like… I read somewhere that like women who are married to men are like less happy than men who are married to women are
KAYLA: I mean women are probably less happy in general than men are, I would have to guess
SARAH: It checks out
KAYLA: Or well those studies are so hard though because if you interview a man is he really going to tell you how he feels like a lot of men yes but even more men
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Probably not
SARAH: Because society has trained them that they don't have
KAYLA: Because yes society has trained them that they're not allowed to do that, so yeah I mean those are… so those were like the main things that I saw in articles that I thought were really interesting but I don't know I thought this was like from an ace perspective an interesting thing to bring up and I was also trolling through the asexuality reddit today because I was like maybe they'll have a topic for me and someone brought it up and was like I just really love this concept of self-partner like I think it's really positive and then I remembered like oh yeah my friend was saying this was trending all yesterday
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And I went online and there was like a thousand articles about it and I was like this is just really interesting that this is what people are latching on to so hard
SARAH: Yeah, and I think the thing too with being like self-partnered is that it's just like you are providing support for yourself and that doesn't mean that you can't still get outside support from other people, it's not like people who are in relationships don't get support from other friends they should at least
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But I think like being firm enough in what you want for yourself and who you are that you're comfortable with like this idea of like being self-partnered or just like being single I think that's a good thing and I think for a lot of aro-ace people they may be forced to come to terms with that at a younger age just because at least for me like I looked into my future because I am a fortune teller and I… yes and I was just like this whole marriage and kids thing doesn't seem likely, and so I you know like learned to make peace with that and like figure out like what I wanted to do with my life and I think you know for people like Emma Watson it may take until they're 30 to kind of realize this because that's when they have to like really look into their future and be like what's happening here
KAYLA: Yeah, and I mean there's just so much pressure to date in general I feel like you look at people that are like in high school and they're like I have to get a boyfriend like all of my friends are dating and I don't and there's just like this incredible pressure so for someone like Emma Watson to be like no like it's chill I'm 30 and I'm single and like that's like a conscious choice and or like not something I'm really sad about I think is really good
SARAH: Yeah, like I knew people who started dating in fifth grade
KAYLA: See that boggles my mind because I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16 which at the time I was quite resentful of as if I had someone who wanted to date me before I was 16 please go look at yourself in the mirror, you looked terrible. Um, girl if you had seen my hair, I didn't wash it ever it was so bad. um but at the time I was like me and now I'm kind of like no I mean that was probably a good thing
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because then even if like… I don't know I don't know if I ever consciously used it as an excuse of like oh that's why I'm single it's because like my mom and dad said I can't it's not because boys don't like me but like I easily could have done that if someone wanted to bother me and was like why aren't you dating like, what you ugly and I would've been like first of all yes but also because my mom said no
SARAH: Yeah. I mean my parents never gave specific rules, I knew a lot of other people whose parents did, they were like you can't date till you're in high school, you can't date till whatever, for me I was always like well what's going to happen when I like when there's somebody I want to date like are my parents going to let me date them, I didn't want to like ask my parents
KAYLA: Yeah, that's, you know, what I did, I will tell you a story of that after you’re done
SARAH: Alright, like I didn't want to like be like when can I start dating but then it…
KAYLA: Yeah, that's a lot
SARAH: But then it never really came up because I turned out to be aro-ace
KAYLA: Yeah, yeah, yeah
SARAH: It wasn't an issue and then my sister started dating like at the end of high school, so I was like well clearly if I want to start dating then it's fine
KAYLA: Yeah. I… when I was like 15 had this boy who I thought I really liked but I think he was just giving me attention and was a junior and I was a freshman and that was fun. And I was like, “mom can I please date him?” and this is when like other stuff was going on in my life to make that like especially a big no, they were like no and then they would try to like take my phone to see if I was texting him but I would delete all my messages and they'd be like Kayla why did you delete your messages and I'd be like “oops my phone was full, I'm so sorry” and they made me like leave my flip phone downstairs instead of in my room
SARAH: Oof, you had a flip phone freshman year of high school?
KAYLA: Uh yes because my mom needed to pick me up from drama practice, I wasn't supposed to get a phone until I turned 16
SARAH: I forgot about this fact because I got a phone the summer before I went into sixth grade
KAYLA: I was not supposed to have one until later but then my mom had to keep picking me up from all of my very exciting activities and was like fine you can have a flip phone and then I got a slider phone and then it was when I was 16 that I got my first smartphone
SARAH: Yeah, because you didn't get a iPhone until college
KAYLA: Right my first smartphone was a Samsung and then freshman year of college everyone had snapchat and they were getting all the filters and Samsung's didn't have the filters yet and I was so mad and year I upgraded, yeah and I got an iPhone
SARAH: Yeah, I just got my phone much earlier because in middle school me and my sister walked home from school and my mother being my mother was like you have to have a phone okay if something happens to you
KAYLA: Okay that's very fair I've been listening to a lot of murder things recently that's very fair you needed that phone, you could have died
SARAH: So, there is that
KAYLA: Anyway, that's my phone story
SARAH: You got a little off there
KAYLA: Anyway, I'm very glad I didn't date that boy because like two weeks later he was like “I think of you as a sister, goodbye” and I was like you actually are really ugly now that I think about it
SARAH: Wait he said what?
KAYLA: He was like I think of you as a sister now sorry bye and I was like um
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: And then like a month later I was talking about how I'd never had a boyfriend and he looked hurt as if he had been my first boyfriend and I was like no
SARAH: No sir
KAYLA: We weren't actually anyway
SARAH: Incredible, but yeah, I think overall the whole Emma Watson self-partner thing I think it's not revolutionary but for some people it might be revelatory and I think it's a good thing to talk about it
KAYLA: Yeah well, I would say apparently for some people it is revolutionary because Piers Morgan is still having a really hard time for it
SARAH: That's Piers Morgan Kayla
KAYLA: I know but like I don't know man, everyone is not as blessed as us Sarah
SARAH: Okay, I think
KAYLA: And like… well but think about the people who like I have friends who are just like not even aro-ace they're just like queer and their parents are like or they're straight and their parents are like you have to date, you have to get married soon and have me a baby and like so even I mean there's a lot of I can imagine aro-ace people deal with this a lot, their parents being like when are you going to date, like who are you seeing and like for those parents obviously I think this would be quite revolutionary because I don't think in their time that was an option
SARAH: Yeah, that's fair, it's just very much not revolutionary for me so like it's…
KAYLA: Well yeah, I mean of course it's not for you
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: This is your life you've been self-partnered since…
SARAH: Birth
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Well, because like on our… we've mentioned before that in our house that we used to live in, we had the dating spectrum and my sticky note on single like you write like the date since you've been like together and so my single my sticky note that was on single just had an infinity sign and it's like for me that wasn't like self-deprecating at all that was just like a fact
KAYLA: You know what was interesting is now that I think about it other members of our house who were on single would be like oh so sad, I'm on single
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Which is interesting and I mean… I guess college culture a lot of people are dating and so maybe that's just like
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But I mean that is interesting that there's clearly people that were right around us who were like very sad to be single
SARAH: Yeah, like people would come in and be like oh infinity sign for single and I'm like yeah, it's factual
KAYLA: Sometimes I'll be talking to people about you and I say that you've never dated and you will never date and they get sad for you and then I… they think I'm making fun of you and then I have to explain that no it's okay
[00:30:00]
SARAH: No
KAYLA: I'm not insulting her and saying she's trash and no one will love her
SARAH: It's up to her
KAYLA: No, yeah, I… this has happened several times where I'm like oh yeah she's never dated she's never going to get married for sure and people are like oh my god tea and I'm like no literally
SARAH: How often do you talk about me? the romance
KAYLA: I mean pretty much like every day, there's a picture of you on my desk, that's true
SARAH: Romance
KAYLA: Yeah, pretty much
SARAH: Okay, yeah, I think the reason I like don't want to call it revolutionary is because like even though it might be revolutionary for certain individuals, I don't think the concept is like necessarily a new one for…
KAYLA: I mean no yeah
SARAH: Society as a whole, I think that's why I'm just like reticent to use the word revolutionary
KAYLA: Yeah, that’s fair
SARAH: But I can understand that it might be for some people in their individual minds a revolutionary reframing of relationships and stuff
KAYLA: Yeah. I don't know, I think it's just a very positive… like I think it's even better, like it's… it seems more positive to me than like I'm dating myself or like I married myself because I think when people say that like it's very easy to make fun of like you think of that lady who literally had a wedding ceremony for her to marry herself and you see people like that and you're like oh my god they're crazy I'm going to make fun of you, but saying… I don't know the term self-partner just seems like so much more positive I guess
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: More conscious like you're not single, you're with yourself
SARAH: Yeah, and it's not in like a oh I'm so desperate I'm just going to say I'm with myself but like a genuinely this is how I'm living my life, when I first saw this headline that you sent to me, I was like huh I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But then when I read it and like the way you've talked about it, I’ve been like yeah I think that's a good… it's a good thing
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know I think… yeah, a lot of people I… yeah, I don't… I mean she's clearly like this is a conscious troll, like I don't know I think a lot of times like those people on Twitter are like or Piers Morgan it's like oh you're saying that because you can't get a man and it's like that's not the only reason that sometimes people are very happy to be single
SARAH: She's Emma Watson, she could get a fucking man
KAYLA: Clearly Sarah could have had men in the past
SARAH: That’s true
KAYLA: And I know of women that have had crushes on you, you could have had many
SARAH: So hot and popular
KAYLA: I mean I don't know about that but I'm just saying like…
SARAH: I just did a dramatic hair flip so you all know
KAYLA: I feel like I heard it
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: In my soul, but yeah, I mean like it's not… it's not you know
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It can be a conscious thing of like no I'm actually just like having a good time by myself
SARAH: Yep
KAYLA: Which is not a concept I understand because I hate being by myself but I respect it greatly
SARAH: That is a personal problem
KAYLA: I mean yes, I'm not asking you to fix it Sarah
SARAH: We can't all be Emma Watson you know, just me
KAYLA: God, I wish
SARAH: You know
KAYLA: She was talking… shut up. she was talking about how she like went to therapy for a lot of years after Harry Potter because she felt so guilty that like oh someone else would have like really enjoyed this more and like so many people wanted this part and like I should have like had a better time and I'm like oh my god Emma Watson stop you perfect human being
SARAH: She's lovely
KAYLA: She is
SARAH: All right, do you have anything else to say on the topic of the subject of this
KAYLA: I mean I don't know I'm sure if I read all five thousand… literally every news outlet has I googled Emma Watson self-partnered and everything today Forbes, like HuffPost, CNN like what… why it's very interesting to me why, I guess because it trended on Twitter so now everyone is like I got to get in on it but I don't know
SARAH: But also, people are like this is weird but it seems like the reception has been fairly positive or else I think neutral
KAYLA: Yeah, the couple of articles I skimmed seemed positive
SARAH: Mm-hmm, that's good
KAYLA: I think, which is good because she like was clearly talking also in the article about being a feminist which is, I don't want to say risky but like can get some bad stuff in the press just because people are stupid
SARAH: Yeah, but at this point in her career as feminist she's like this is what's happening and you can suck my dick if you don't like it so
KAYLA: That's very fair
SARAH: Yeah, wow. All right uh so what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: What if it's, do you consider yourself to be self-partnered? yes no or I’m another person partnered so irrelevant
SARAH: Interesting, I don't even know what my answer for that would be
KAYLA: Well, you have a week to think about it
SARAH: I have a week and a half technically because I’m getting this sneak preview several days before the pod comes out
KAYLA: Well, you have a week and a half, you have one, two, three, four, you have like five days until this poll goes up
SARAH: Yeah, but then I have another like multiple days before the poll closes
KAYLA: That's… never mind, I stand corrected
SARAH: Yes, okay, yeah I think that's good, what is your beef and your juice this week?
KAYLA: My… okay I just had some… um okay um… oh I accidentally tweeted it, all the people with tweet notifications on, oh no oh they're going to get such a sneak peek, oh my god that's so funny, okay um… it's so funny. Um juices, um I know I said I'm like very freaked out by all the murder podcasts I’m listening to but honestly if you like our podcast and you're interested in true crime as I am, the podcast “my favorite murder” which has been out for years and is like very very very popular so you've probably heard of it but my friend got me into it and she listened to like an episode of our podcast and was like it reminds me a lot of “my favorite murder” because it's these two women who are friends and they talk about like… they each bring like a murder like a true crime every week and they talk about it, but they get off topic a ton and they never remember… they like stop in the middle of their sentences and have no idea what they're talking about and they like go off on tangents and it's like basically us but true crime
SARAH: That's what I like to hear
KAYLA: It's very good um so if you like this style of podcasting that we do which I know not everyone does, I would highly recommend, but you will get scared and have nightmares and want to buy a pocket knife
SARAH: I literally I called Kayla to record this episode and she was like I need to buy a knife
KAYLA: Well, I had just been listening and it's like daylight savings time now so it gets really dark
SARAH: Really dark
KAYLA: It's like I walk out of work and it's already dark and I just get scared, okay? someone send me a pocket knife, opens a P.O Box to get knives
SARAH: Knives, send us knives please
KAYLA: Honestly, if someone could send me a knife, I’d be very happy. Other juices I like the feel of when you have a fully stocked fridge I just feel like when you go to the grocery store and you put all your stuff in the fridge and then you look at it just like brings me this joy to have like a full fridge, I don't know, I’ve noticed this for the past like couple of years so this is the thing I have.
SARAH: So, my dad is the one who does most of the grocery shopping in my family and yesterday he went grocery shopping and he got rid of a bunch of like old expired stuff in the fridge and… you know so the fridge is very organized, but in doing so, he threw away my clementines which I was eating
KAYLA: Jack
SARAH: And… like they were not super new, but I had been chipping away at them, okay? They were still perfectly good clementines
KAYLA: I believe you
SARAH: And I was like dad, I was eating those
KAYLA: So, is this your beef?
SARAH: I guess I was like dad I was eating those also like 40% of food in the united states is thrown away and that was something that I was actually eating and you threw it away and he was like you could eat a nice crisp apple or a lime and I was like…
KAYLA: You what the fuck? It's a lime
SARAH: Well because…
KAYLA: What the hell?
SARAH: No one is the answer unless some of our listeners do, I don't know but he was just listing the things that were in the drawer that he took the clementines out of.
KAYLA: Oh my god
SARAH: So, there is that.
KAYLA: Uh other juices I feel like I did crosswords maybe a week before but my co-workers and I have been getting very into crosswords, we do them every day at lunch. Also, like astrology and horoscopes we've been getting very into, we've read like everyone's birth chart at work it's very exciting
SARAH: My sister um keeps texting me um with questions about marvel superheroes for the New York times crossword puzzles
KAYLA: There was… what there hasn't been I guess… no, I don't remember any questions about it, the theme of today's was triple x, very scandalous.
SARAH: Wow
KAYLA: Um I feel like I had more but that's all, oh therapy very good, would recommend if you have the memes, um…
SARAH: I went to therapy today
KAYLA: How did you like it?
SARAH: It was fine
KAYLA: Yeah, you don't like it as much as I do
SARAH: No and I don't fee… I do not feel comfortable in therapy so
KAYLA: I love it.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: What are you going to do?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Uh also my cat I made her an Instagram, you should follow it
SARAH: Billie Piper Lourde
[00:40:00]
KAYLA: Yeah, I followed both…
SARAH: I named her that
KAYLA: You did. I followed both Billie piper and Billie Lourde from her cat Instagram, it's very funny
SARAH: Good
KAYLA: Um beef uh it's dark and I hate it and I have to keep using my sun lamp and that's no fun
SARAH: Darkness consumes me
KAYLA: And now like… I didn't think about this but now that I have like a pet, she had to get readjusted to the time difference so she woke me up when she thought it was time to eat
SARAH: I see
KAYLA: When really it was not time because she needed to wait an hour so she gets readjust it
SARAH: I see
KAYLA: And I was like ma'am I’m trying to get my extra hour sleep. Um washing machines that take quarters, why? I already pay rent, why do I have to pay for my laundry. I’m just looking at things around my apartment, I’m just looking at things around my apartment that…
SARAH: Also, then you have to have a bunch of quarters
KAYLA: Oh, girl do I know it, I have to like drive to the bank and give them a 20, where do I get a 20 from? I don't carry cash…
SARAH: Last summer what I did is I would go to the grocery store and I would get cash back and I would ask for it in quarters
KAYLA: You can ask for it in quarters?
SARAH: Yes, they don't always have enough quarters because… but usually they have like rolls
KAYLA: Whoa, oh you have to ask the cashier?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Oh, I like to go to self-checkout, my grandma is…
SARAH: Me too, but…
KAYLA: Or no, my aunt said she doesn't like going to self-checkout because it puts people out of a job and I was like listen lady that's fine I don't want to talk to anyone
SARAH: Yeah, but the Ralphs that we went to, like the… there weren't very many self-checkouts and they were really far away so we just didn't go to them I guess
KAYLA: Wow, I’ve never thought to ask, okay, wow, my life has changed, now I know how to get quarters
SARAH: You're welcome
KAYLA: I’m Stop and Shop
SARAH: All right
KAYLA: That's the Kroger here I guess
SARAH: So, my beef is when you're driving home from Ann Arbor and it's an hour long drive and you just feel really sick the whole time and you're like do I need to pull over this car
KAYLA: If this one, this car right here?
SARAH: Right here right now? uh so yeah uh my juice okay
KAYLA: Oh my god
SARAH: I don't know if I’ve even told you this but starting last Thursday and ending this Tuesday aka in five days… oh is that six days whatever I watched all five seasons of television program Schitt's Creek
KAYLA: Hmm you mentioned it in passing
SARAH: It is so good; I love it very much. I went through it very quickly, I was watching it because our friend… there's someone I follow on Tumblr who really likes it and so I had seen it and so I’m like oh this seems nice and then my physical therapist for my wrist loves it and she had been talking about it a lot and my dad has also watched it and then our friend Miranda watched the pilot and she was like oh it was really good and I was like all right I’m going to do it I’m going to watch it, um I immediately passed up Miranda and I finished the entire series. um look I could go on about the chauffeur days it's wonderful it's Canadian which is an important fact um David the character of David is my child, Stevie, character of Stevie I love her so much David and Patrick’s relationship is so important to me I knew about this relationship because of the girl who I followed on Tumblr um and I literally just so badly wanted to get to season three just so I could get to it and so here's the thing, the character of David is pansexual um like canonically and it is explained using a wine analogy that is actually like very succinct and very good like he… a minor spoiler for season one but whatever, I’m giving a couple of minor spoilers but listen the show was worth watching everything
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: Um and he like hooks up with this girl and afterwards she's like, I only like red wine and up until last night I was under the impression that you also only drink red wine
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: And at first… and at first he was like what? and then he was like oh I understand this, and so he was like, I do like to drink red wine but I also like white wine from time to time I enjoy a good rose and then he said something about one time having a Merlot that used to be a Chardonnay
KAYLA: Oh my god
SARAH: And something… but like it was explained very quickly but like it made a lot of sense
KAYLA: That's good, I thought they workshopped that quite a bit
SARAH: Yeah and then later… I don't know if it's that episode or later in the season the word pansexual is explicitly used
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: Um so that is great and so Dan Levy, the co-creator of the show and the guy who is the showrunner and also who plays David um he… I was watching a bunch of interviews because I was like I’m obsessed with this and he was saying that so… then in season three… A minor spoiler but not really, um David starts dating uh Patrick and Patrick prior to this had only ever dated women and so there's this episode in season four where it's sort of a coming out episode for Patrick and also they um you know the plot of the show I mean it takes place in Schitt's Creek which is a small town, it's a rural town and um… but what Dan Levy was saying was that it's important to him and the show to show any negative reactions to queerness, so every reaction to finding out a character is queer in the show regardless of who it's from is completely positive, um and so he was saying that the reason he wanted to do that was because like people take in what they see, so if even one person reacts negatively in the show an audience member can look at that and take their side but…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: If it's just acceptance then that's normalized for the audience and he doesn't… like he only wants… like he wants this show to be like a very joyful show and so only having positive reactions is good and I don't think that's something that necessarily every show is going to be able to do like obviously there are still negative reactions to queerness in this world but I think it works so well for Schitt's Creek and the show is such a breakthrough in the nonchalant way that they deal with sexuality um, it's so beautiful
KAYLA: I just… I do wonder, I feel like I’ve heard people talk about other shows that do that where it's like someone comes out to their parents and it's just like really positive and great and I’ve heard criticisms of shows that do that of like it's not completely accurate and it makes it seem like queer people have it like way easier than they do…
SARAH: Well…
KAYLA: Like I get what he's doing and I do respect it a lot, but I do, you know, I just have a thought
SARAH: Yeah, I mean what does happen with David like his parents already know from the beginning of the show but with Patrick, Patrick is very scared to tell his parents, like it's not like it's just like oh everything is going really great, it's like he's very very scared of a negative reaction and there's like a whole plot point around that um but then it turns out being okay
KAYLA: Oh okay
SARAH: So, um yes this show is simply the best anyone who has made it into season four will understand that reference yes thank you, also you would think, okay so like David is pan-romantic pansexual, I am a romantic asexual, you would think we would not have a ton in common
KAYLA: Fair
SARAH: But um our emotional unavailability really just on the same page…
KAYLA: Wow. You could love to see it
SARAH: Um but like the characters all grow so much over the course of the show and it's just so beautiful oh it's so good I love it. uh my other joos is friends who trust you enough to ask you to read their writing and give you feedback on it, that's nice also it's a confidence boost.
KAYLA: That is fun
SARAH: And that's the tea. I just realized I forgot to pull up our patrons
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: We can be found just everywhere @soundsfakepod if you… also because… so I had my last physical therapy appointment and I told my physical therapist I was like I watched Schitt's Creek and she was like “yes,” but it was my last appointment so I don't get to talk to her about it anymore and I can't…
KAYLA: Just call her
SARAH: And I can't talk to my friend Miranda about it because she hasn't finished it yet and she is in school so she is…
KAYLA: This is why Sarah… when Sarah has no one else to talk to about something she brings it to me even though… even if I have like no concept of it
SARAH: Okay but… and I told Miranda that she's welcome for this yesterday, the girl on Tumblr who I knew really liked it, I messaged her and we've been talking about it, it's good
KAYLA: I just… I just think it's funny but I also very much appreciate it that I’m just your default
SARAH: You know sometimes I do
KAYLA: I do like it
[00:50:00]
SARAH: It's a wild time, yeah sometimes I do that to Miranda too, I’m just like “which one of you would be more interested in this subject”
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: And I’m going to tell that person. um okay yes if you also have seen Schitt's Creek or you also watch it uh please let me know it's so good um I will talk about it with you forever. um all right, we also have a patreon if you want to support us there patreon.com/soundsfakepod. our $2 patrons are Keith McBlaine, Roxanne, Aliceisinspace, anonymous, Mariah Walter, Jonathan, Christopher T Verdieri, Patrick Jackson, Andrew Yang, Ninny, Courtney Jones, Eric B, Mary Juntenton, Maddie. Our $5 patrons are Jennifer Smart, Asthritha Vinacota, Austin Lenny, Drew Finney, Perry Farrow, D, Megan Rowell, Quinn pollock, Emily Collins, Tim, Ryan Lutcietti, BookMarvel and Changeling MX. Changeling mx this week is pronounced as watch Schitt's Creek
KAYLA: I think it's follow my cat on Instagram
SARAH: Nice. Our $10 patrons are Kevin and Tessa @dirtyunclekevin @Tessa_m_k, Arcness who would like to promote the Trevor project, Benjamin Ybarra who would like to promote tabletop games, anonymous who I have said for the past two weeks we need to ask what they want to promote aside from Halloween
KAYLA: I think we did ask that
SARAH: And I… did you?
KAYLA: I’m like almost positive let me go check I feel like I messaged them on Patreon
SARAH: Well, I will keep going and if you have talked…
KAYLA: I did.
SARAH: What did they say?
KAYLA: Excuse me anonymous? they said nothing
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: Excuse me, if you're listening, please answer me on Patreon or anywhere it's fine
SARAH: Anonymous you know who you are
KAYLA: Yell into the void and then I’ll hear it
SARAH: Me and Kayla know who you are, answer us. we want to know what you want to promote now that Halloween is over, unless you just really are in to Halloween and want to promote it for the rest of the time
KAYLA: That's also fair
SARAH: Um
KAYLA: Oh, I have another thing
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: The great British baking show, the finale, it was very wild I was very happy…
SARAH: I haven't seen it yet
KAYLA: In Queer Eye Japan I watched the whole thing, anyway, keep going
SARAH: I haven't seen the finale of great British baking show I was watching it intermittently with my mom um
KAYLA: You missed, the finale is crazy
SARAH: I did uh intentionally receive spoilers as to what happened in the finale
KAYLA: Oh my God, it's so intense, oh my God
SARAH: And it seems wild
KAYLA: It's very wild, also Queer Eye Japan, very good, I would recommend, I did sob, okay continue
SARAH: All right. Also, our $10 patrons Sarah McCoy who would like to promote a podcast from a planet weird and my aunt Jennie who would like to promote Christopher’s Haven, my dog Sadie met my aunt Jennie's dog Bucky for the first time, it went adequately…
KAYLA: Did they kiss?
SARAH: No Sadie is just like not super good with other dogs and bucky is a seven-month-old puppy who is bigger than her
KAYLA: Oh no
SARAH: Um and he's in that phase where he's very bitey and he doesn't um have control over his body, so…
KAYLA: I love that
SARAH: So, we did our best. um our $15 patrons are Nathaniel white nathanieljwhitedesigns.com, my mom Julie who would like to promote free mom hugs and actually came into my room in the middle of this episode but none of you know that
KAYLA: When?
SARAH: I didn't tell you about it
KAYLA: Why? I’m devastated
SARAH: You were talking and I didn't want to interrupt you
KAYLA: And… you can interrupt me for Julie and that's fine
SARAH: Sadie also came into the room, but then I was like…
KAYLA: What the fuck are you doing, you're telling me these things, you are breaking up, the podcast is over, goodbye sorry everyone, sorry
SARAH: But then I was like I’m busy mom
KAYLA: I’m sorry everyone that Sarah had to ruin the podcast like this but I have to go, bye
SARAH: There's two more $15 patrons…
KAYLA: I’m sorry, this is not my fault
SARAH: @Eternalolli everywhere, Dragonfly who would like to promote Schitt's Creek
KAYLA: No dragonfly is promoting how I’m sorry this podcast is canceled, sorry, I’m leaving
SARAH: Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears
KAYLA: Until then divorce Sarah, do it
SARAH: What about your cows?
KAYLA: Don't… they're gone, you killed them
SARAH: Oh no, goodbye cows
KAYLA: Yeah, how do you feel now?
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]
