Hey what's up hello! Chaos reigns this week, and so does the Statue of Liberty. Today we read from r/TooAfraidToAsk and go on a long winded tangent about the Statue of Liberty (sorry/you're welcome)
*This episode is a meant as a silly joke, please don’t actually think we’re patriotic
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/reddit-questions-and-the-statue-of-liberty
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SARAH: Hey what’s up hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I’m Sarah. That’s me.)
KAYLA: … and a demisexual girl (that’s me, Kayla)
SARAH: talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else that we just don’t understand.
KAYLA: On today’s episode: Too afraid to ask.
BOTH: Sounds fake, but okay.
SARAH: Welcome back to the Poooooood~! I don’t think that was enthusiastic enough. (Rough shouting voice) WELCOME BACK TO THE POD.
KAYLA: (laughs) M’arsupial. As you can tell already this is another chaotic nighttime episode on a Friday night. That’s right.
SARAH: It is a Friday night.
KAYLA: Two days before this episode comes out (laughs).
SARAH: It is 8:19 pacific, 10:19 central, on a Friday night.
SARAH: This podcast needs to be up on Patreon tomorrow.
SARAH: I’ve had a very long week.
SARAH: A very busy week.
SARAH: And I am not in my right mind.
KAYLA: No. Sarah-
SARAH: So I would like to apologize in advance.
KAYLA: (laughs)We had a different episode we were thinking about doing, but then Sarah let me know that today’s chaos would be worse than last episode’s chaos
SARAH: Worse than last time.
KAYLA: so I said maybe let’s do an episode that is chaos friendly.
SARAH: Yes and and then we were like wait actually we were supposed to do our same interview one year apart this week, but we’re not prepared for that.
KAYLA: It’s not this.
SARAH: So that’s next week.
KAYLA: Next week! Listen. It doesn’t have to be exact, okay it’s a year.
SARAH: It’s a year and a week doesn't matter.
KAYLA: You’ll forgive us, I know it.
SARAH: We’ve been gone for a while, do we have housekeeping?
KAYLA: Put up a banger of a TikTok.
SARAH: A banger, she says.
KAYLA: I mean it did numbers. Good ones.
KAYLA: So go- and people always comment like “oh my god you guys have a TikTok?” and I’m like “yeah girl”.
KAYLA: Come at it. So just a heads up I guess.
KAYLA: If you need holiday presents, we got merch.
SARAH: That’s so true bestie.
KAYLA: (sigh) That's all I have really I think. Our scholarship ended. I don't know who our winner is yet, but it’s over so you can stop hearing that ad anymore.
SARAH: You’re welcome.
KAYLA: You’re so welcome. I’m sure you were sick of it.
SARAH: Uhh okay! Kayla!
SARAH: What are we talkin about this week?
KAYLA: This week we’re back to Reddit.
KAYLA: I know we were just there but the discord said they liked it and it was fine and that they were hoping for another “she lives in a country and so do I” moment.
KAYLA: So we’re gonna do our best to get that to you.
SARAH: That would be delightful.
KAYLA: But today we’re in the Reddit r/tooafraidtoask which I believe is famous for the recent post where the guy was like “do I love my wife too much” (laughs)
SARAH: Ww- (laughs)
KAYLA: Do you know this one? It's very good.
SARAH: Uh I’m not intimately familiar with it, it might be familiar if I get details.
KAYLA: I saw it on… Reddit. Lemme see if I can…
KAYLA: Oh a little too many things came up. This is from two years ago. I don’t know if this is the viral one. Wow there is like a lot. “Am I too attracted to my wife” there it is. Okay, so we can start with this one I suppose. Some people might already be familiar. But uh-
KAYLA: Here we go-
SARAH: (far away and crackly) Hold on I am going to hold my mic up to my mouth for reasons that I want to lounge (suddenly loud and normal mic quality again) BECAUSE MY FUCKING STOMACH HURTS.
KAYLA: Okay. Are you lounging?
SARAH: I am both chaotic and in pain this week so…
KAYLA: I love that
SARAH: Going great. Okay, go ahead.
KAYLA: Okay this is from a month ago. It was all over Twitter I believe. “Why am I too-” Okay again, r/tooafraidtoask. The- Let me look at the description “Everyth- Anything and everything you’ve been TooAfraidToAsk.” Pretty simple, okay. “Am I too- Why am I too attracted to my wife? I know this sounds weird. But I have been with my wife for about 10 years, 8 years dating and almost 2 married. I have always found her beautiful and super hot, but lately these last few months I’m obsessing over her. I feel like she’s way too hot, I can’t stop staring at her when we’re in the same room. Is this normal? Do I need to do something? I tried looking online for help, but there isn’t anything out there. I have no friends or family to ask about this.” (laughs)
SARAH: YOu know- you know the fucking omegaverse…
SARAH: In like fanfiction where they’re like alpha and omega-
KAYLA: I- yes. Yes.
SARAH: And it scares me so bad and I- I’ve- everytime I see it I runaway so far. If that’s your thing good for you but I am scared of it. Uh it makes me think that he’s actually in one of those fics.
SARAH: I think he’s- I think he’s become self aware inside of a fanfiction is my fear.
KAYLA: The replies on this are great.
KAYLA: This one said- it’s very sweet actually. “No need to worry. I’ve done the same thing over my 26 year marriage. Some years it’s there. Some years it’s normal attraction.” So that’s like a nice answer. This person said, “Going on 8 years married after 5 years dating. My wife is a hot piece and I watch her sleep 60% of the time all the time. It’s the best.”
SARAH: (laughs) My wife is a hot piece.
KAYLA: So that’s um… awful. So yeah that ones-
SARAH: So that’s awful? What?
KAYLA: What is off?
SARAH: What did you just say?
KAYLA: I said “so that’s uh” I think.
SARAH: Oh I thought you said “so that’s awful”
KAYLA: Oh. Yeah. It’s awful that they watch their wife sleep 60% of the time.
SARAH: You left out a word. You said “I watch my wife 60% of the time”
KAYLA: Did I? Oh.
SARAH: And that changes things.
KAYLA: “My wife is a hot piece and I watch her sleep 60% of the time all the time.”
SARAH: So does he get 60% less sleep?
KAYLA: I guess. This ones a tough one. This comment in particular.
KAYLA: The post itself, I don’t think… eh you know, it seems nice.
SARAH: As long as it’s not in a weird-
KAYLA: As long as you’re not watching her sleep 60% of the time.
SARAH: -toxic obsessive way.
KAYLA: Yeah as long as you’re not being like, like possessive. I feel like you’re-
KAYLA: I feel like it’s all good to be-
SARAH: Obsessive to be in a fun cute love way.
SARAH: Not like in a possessive toxic horrible way.
KAYLA: Yeah it seems like a good thing to like your wife so…
SARAH: Yeah and they say that once you’re married you won’t like your wife anymore so this guy is just saying “hey just as it turns out I life- like my wife more now”
SARAH: So take that bitches.
KAYLA: So there you go.
SARAH: Thank you.
KAYLA: Um here’s another great one. Are you ready?
SARAH: Mhm. Oh I’m so ready.
KAYLA: “would you destroy the Statue of Liberty or your country's equivalent to save the life of a single person you’ve never met? Why or why not?”
SARAH: I so okay- I have a- my first issue with this is.
KAYLA: Why? Why was this happening?
SARAH: What do they think other countries’ Statue of Liberty equivalents are? Like did they think every country is required to have a Statue of Liberty equivalent?
KAYLA: Well no, but I think a lot of countries do?
SARAH: They have a lot of monuments but like-
KAYLA: Like the Eiffel Tower.
SARAH: Is the Eiffel Tower- Is the Eiffel Tower and the Statue of Liberty the same? I would say the Eiffel Tower is more important than the Statue of Liberty in terms of like pfff cultural impact.
KAYLA: I think you’re right but if you were to think of a monument that is the most important to America I feel like the Statue of Liberty might be it. What else would you pick?
SARAH: Everything else is like… my brain is like the Washington Monument but that’s just an obelisk.
SARAH: Big ol fuckin’ Lincoln in a chair.
KAYLA: Okay then, pick your favorite American monument and…
SARAH: Does it have to… like a man-made monument?
SARAH: I don’t give a fuck about man-made monuments as a general rule. Well that’s untrue, I just don’t like America.
KAYLA: Well no yeah.
KAYLA: Then pick- think of the people that-
SARAH: Okay just say it! Just say it's the- the what’s that thing called?
KAYLA: Statue of Liberty?
SARAH: Yeah that one.
KAYLA: Okay think about the Statue of Liberty or whatever you feel equivalently drawn to.
KAYLA: Would you destroy this important thing to save the life of one single person that you’ve never met in your life?
SARAH: I think um… I’m gonna go with yes because here’s my thought process: first of all the Statue of Liberty used to be a different color.
KAYAL: It’s gross.
SARAH: It’s not even- It’s not even the same as it used to be.
SARAH: So I think it would be perfectly fine if we just got a new one.
KAYLA: That’s fair
SARAH: And it could go back to the old color and we could be like “oh my god this is what it looks like” Cause we don’t have color photos of it, do we? I don’t think so.
KAYLA: I have no idea.
SARAH: Color photos?
KAYLA: I’m gonna go with no.
SARAH: I don’t know. Either way, we probably don’t have a lot. We can be like “wow look we can watch history rehistory itself right now as we watch this motherfucker turn green”. My other thing is yes it was a gift from France. But we’re still buds with France and it’s a symbol and you can just make a new symbol of friendship and- and freedom or whatever bullshit. But you know what you can’t do?
SARAH: Reanimate a human corpse.
KAYLA: Yeah I think I would des- I think I too would destroy it because then if you had to get on the news and be like “why didn’t you save this person” and you’re like “(sad voice) the Statue of Liberty” I feel like you’d look like a dick.
SARAH: “(sad old dog voice) I thought this chunk of metal was more important”
KAYLA: Oh my god this person- the comments great “Yeah, fuck that stupid bronze bitch.”
KAYLA: “can I do neither?”
SARAH: I get that she represents freedom or whatever, but like what is freedom in the lord’s United States of America?
KAYLA: Wow. That’s… brave of you to ask. You should ask that in this Reddit.
SARAH: Hey, hey. Hey. Hey, guys? Hey. hey.
SARAH: Hey internet? What is freedom in this old United States of America? Wrong answers only.
SARAH: Anyway fuck that… what is she aluminum? Fuck that what did that person say?
KAYLA: Bronze. Copper. But that person said bronze, but she’s actually copper.
BOTH: Fuck that Copper bitch.
KAYLA: Are you ready for one that’s asexuality themed?
SARAH: Boy howdy have I never been more ready for something in my entire life.
KAYLA: There’s actually quite a few asexuality and aromanticism ones. More than I’ve seen in any other…
SARAH: Because they’re things people are afraid to ask!
KAYLA: No that makes sense.
SARAH: Because they don’t know who to ask. ANyway.
KAYLA: This one is very hard hitting and I want you to prepare yourself, okay?
SARAH: …I- I can’t tell if this actually is serious or not, should I actually prepare myself?
KAYLA: Okay are you ready? Are you prepared?
SARAH: Mhm. Uh huh.
KAYLA: “Is Jesus considered asexual, pansexual, or straight etc. I mean, as far as I know, he hasn't been portrayed as one with a love interest but he does love everyone... so…” First of all I think you’re conflating romantic attraction with sexual attraction, but that’s okay we can move on from that.
SARAH: But also you’re conflating “Jesus loves everyone” I mean that's a vague statement, it doesn’t specify what type of love. It’s usually interpreted to mean, you know, platonic, familial love but I guess we don’t know that it’s not romantic love?
KAYLA: I mean I think-
SARAH: I mean it seems kind of exhausting to be in romantic love with everybody, but a lot of things he does seem exhausting. Parting the sea? Turning water into wine?
KAYLA: Great stuff.
SARAH: I would need a nap.
KAYLA: I have seen a lot of people talking about how Jesus is trans or nonbinary. I think that’s great.
KAYLA: Um, I would lean more towards pan because I feel like it fits with the lore.
SARAH: I mean it could be like a panromantic asexual sort of situation-
KAYLA: Very true.
SARAH: -because like Jesus does not give off the vibes of like “yo I wanna fuck” except Mary Magdalene.
KAYLA: True but also that- like I feel like Jesus not fucking allegedly was more of a celibacy religous situation-
SARAH: Yeahh but-
KAYLA: - which is not necessarily the same.
SARAH: And it's not like we would get a lot of lore of Jesus grappling with his celibacy that would make it into the bible.
KAYLA: Yeah gotta read the fanfiction for that one.
SARAH: Yeah gotta read the fanfiction. Oh my god, speaking of fanfiction and the omega verse, my sister sent-
SARAH: -a TikTok today where someone was like “what are some of the most unhinged fanfictions you’ve ever happened upon” and one of them was Jesus, Judas omegaverse.
KAYLA: Oh I HATE that very much.
SARAH: Let’s move on.
KAYLA: I wish we would.
SARAH: You have the power to do so.
KAYLA: I know I’m looking- I’m looking at the aromantic ones.
SARAH: Much like Jesus. You’re the Jesus of Sounds Fake But Okay.
KAYLA: (whispering) I thought so.
SARAH: What does that make me?
SARAH: (imitating the “there’s only one thing worse” Vine) A child.
KAYLA: (also imitating said Vine) A child. We don’t need to answer this necessarily but I love how this question is worded “how is it to be aromantic?”
SARAH: It is.
KAYLA: It is!
KAYLA: It is.
SARAH: So, jot that down.
KAYLA: “Is it really weird to just want to be left alone?”
KAYLA: “I’m quote-”
SARAH: If it is, I’m weird as fuck.
KAYLA: “I'm "the always single" friend in my circle and lately everyone is trying to set me up on dates. I try to explain I’m 100% happy being single and have no desire for a relationship of any kind but it falls on deaf ears. I can't seem” That’s probably not a great phrase, huh, “to get anyone to understand I just want to be left to my own. I like me time, not we time.” For some reason, this came up when I looked up aromantic so I don’t know if people are commenting something…?
SARAH: Maybe they’re saying “maybe you are this”
KAYLA: Yeah, I can’t- oh here’s some comments. Yeah some comments are saying “maybe you’re aromantic”
SARAH: I love to be left alone.
KAYLA: Yeah sounds great. That’s Sarah’s whole jam.
SARAH: I would also like to apologize for the fact that I think my audio is changing volumes.
SARAH: I keep moving towards and away from my mic because my fucking stomach hurts-
KAYLA: Stop that.
SARAH: And we all know that a side effect of stomach pain is moving towards and away from your mic.
SARAH: Let’s move on.
KAYLA: Okay. “is” quote “‘the spark’ real? I’ve never dated anyone. I’m 27 female and when I was a teenager, I had the typical crush butterflies. Now, even if a guy is very nice and kind and treats me well, I don’t feel anything and don’t really have any interest in pursuing him because of it. Am I supposed to feel something for someone I want to date? Am I aromantic or is it possible I just haven’t met the right guy?” girl.
SARAH: Hey, it’s me. Your local aroace who's never been on a date with anyone-
KAYLA: Except me.
SARAH: -and who has — okay — who has no fucking idea how any of this works. I am an expert in this. The spark is not real.
KAYLA: Um okay.
SARAH: I believe based on no evidence, that based on (laughs) based on no evidence and pure vibes that the spark is not real. Listen-
KAYLA: For anyone?
SARAH: Depends on how we define-
KAYLA: Okay I wanna know what your definition of ‘the spark’ is.
SARAH: I think - okay I would like to walk this back slightly.
KAYLA: Okay (laughs).
SARAH: I think in my brain, I was conflating the spark with fuckin’ love at first sight shit-
KAYLA: Yeah, yeah.
SARAH: -and I have said on this podcast that I think that’s absolute buffoonery.
SARAH: But also I have heard several people- several people have talked about this in my presence recently- about how like you know, it’s not necessarily one moment when you realize you’ve fallen in love with someone, or like its not one moment where you’re like “ohh” like they don’t have the movie italicized “oh” fanfiction thing and it's just like a very slow process and so I think I was also thinking about that. And I’m an expert in that also because I’ve been in a lot of very serious romantic relationships in my life and I know so much about them…
KAYLA: Yes as we all know.
KAYLA: Yes. I think love at first sight, I don’t think so. Attraction at first sight, sure. Great work. Love at first sight no. The “oh” moment? Maybe for some people when they’re like…
SARAH: In denial (laughs)?
KAYLA: Yeah in denial and suddenly aren’t or someone brings up to them “hey you’re in love with this person”.
SARAH: I can see that definitely happening, but like don’t expect it to happen to you.
KAYLA: No I don’t think it’s as common. What I take the spark to mean in this situation is basically like romantic feelings (laughs). I feel like-
SARAH: So your spark is just romantic feelings?
KAYLA: Well some sort of attraction to someone because this person is saying like “yeah these guys are nice but I have no desire to pursue them” like to me the spark is compatibility or the feeling of “oh I really like this person, I have a crush on them” or “I want to talk to them more” you know like attrac- that’s what I’m taking the spark to mean. That kind of feeling.
SARAH: Here’s my question:
SARAH: Some people will talk about when you’ve been together too long the spark is gone.
SARAH: But if you define the spark as like… cause like the spark can be gone and you can still love someone if you’re…
KAYLA: Okay yes, this is a- this is a good point. So I think, yes, to amend my statement the spark would be… more like a crush and more like an inf- I don’t know if it’s infatuation, but…
SARAH: It's more of a like…
KAYLA: Honeymoon phase
SARAH: “I wanna spend all of my time with you”
KAYLA: Yes. It’s more of a like Honeymoon type thing. I mean I guess there's just a lot of different definitions of spark, but I think…
SARAH: So according to google a spark is “a small fiery particle thrown off from a fire. A light in ashes or produced by striking together too hard surfaces such as stone or metal.”
KAYLA: Well, there you have it folks. Seems real to me.
SARAH: It is also, in addition to that, a trace of a specified quality or intense feeling.
KAYLA: Oh! Okay. See now that makes sense because I do think in a lot of ways a long term relationship loses the same intensity that the beginning of a relationship has.
SARAH: Yes but that doesn’t mean-
KAYLA: So that- Yes.
SARAH: -that the love is gone.
KAYLA: Yes it’s just different love. So there we have it. There is the definition and it is real and maybe you are aromantic.
SARAH: I can’t believe my bit led us to actually finding an answer to the question.
KAYLA: Yeah that was pretty disappointing that you were helpful.
SARAH: Congratulations to me! (laughs)
KAYLA: To be honest it was quite upsetting. Let’s see… “What if everyone randomly turned asexual? Is the world fucked? I've noticed the recent influx of ace people.”
SARAH: Interesting choice of words there.
KAYLA: Well we’ll get to that. “I've noticed the recent influx of ace people.” Mm wrong.
KAYLA: Not really. No, Stop.
KAYLA: Stop. “What if an entire generation eventually turns ace? What will happen then?” A lot of not correct things going on in this statement but…
SARAH: I mean… In theory, nothing would happen and everything would continue as it is.
KAYLA: Well so there’s a good comment that says “nobody is fucked” which is funny…
SARAH: But also not true. I mean our behaviors could completely not change at all.
KAYLA: Yes. Very- yeah. It would likely stay the same.
SARAH: I imagine it would change in some ways. Like I think we would be-
SARAH: -less sex-oriented.
KAYLA: Yes definitely.
SARAH: But I think people would still have sex, people would still make bebés, people would still you know do what they do with the do.
KAYLA: Yeah I do think that human output… maybe it would go down slightly.
SARAH: In terms of bebés?
KAYLA: Bebés. I mean, I don’t know for some reason I’m imagining there would be less accidental bebés?
SARAH: No I also got that vibe, like it definitely could still happen but it seems to me there would be fewer accidental bebés.
KAYLA: Yes. Umm. So yeah, I think it would be fine.
SARAH: Population control.
KAYLA: Honestly I do think it could be. I don’t think the world would be- I don’t think the human race would end, but.
SARAH: I recently saw a thing about how 40% of young Americans are saying that they either don’t want to have kids or-
KAYLA: I know that’s a lot.
SARAH: And people were like “oh my god, capitalism” like we won’t have a workforce.
KAYLA: That’s a good-
SARAH: And it's like I don’t know maybe you should just let more immigrants in that’s what the country was founded on anyway, excuse me Mrs. Statue of Li- is she married?
KAYLA: Stop everything. This is an incredibly important question.
KAYLA: What are her pron- what is the Statue of Liberty's pronouns?
SARAH: I’ve always heard her referred to as she.
KAYLA: Yeah but have you ever asked…her?
SARAH: No, I’ve only seen her once.
KAYLA: Fair. What are the Statue of Liberty’s pronouns. Have they figured out their sexuality and romantic orientation and do we…
SARAH: Is there another large…
KAYLA: There is another Statue of Liberty. It’s like you’ve never watched National Treasure.
SARAH: Well I haven’t but I mean… like…
KAYLA: Stop it. Stop the podcast right now. Stop.
SARAH: I mean I’m just saying are there a lot of other options for her to be attracted to. Like what is she- is she attracted to people? Is she attracted to bears? Not like gay men, but like actual bears?
KAYLA: Here’s the thing. So there is another Statue of Liberty that is in France if you had watched National Treasure you would fucking know.
KAYLA: Cause France like made two and then we have one. There’s also a fake one in Las Vegas.
SARAH: That I do know. There’s also a fake Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas.
SARAH: They’re married!
KAYLA: Whoa… what? Hold on. Now we’re getting a lot into deep Statue of Liberty lore.
SARAH: You know what she lives in a country and so does the other Statue of Liberty.
KAYLA: Oh my god. “A second Statue of Liberty is coming to the US thanks to France”. This was published in June. Okay.
SARAH: This June?
KAYLA: (whispers) Yes. Okay, stop everything. “Covid-19 restrictions lifting”. Triggered. “This upcoming July fourth is poised to be a particularly celebratory one..” uhhh “white house.” “according to” Whatever. “New York City will be the place to be. That’s why- This is because from July 1st through 5th the city will mark the arrival of a second Statue of Liberty” it’s another gift from France.
SARAH: Is it full size?
KAYLA: It’s bronze, one six- one sixteenth the size of the original.
SARAH: So it’s little.
SARAH: I mean I guess how big is one sixteenth of the size?
KAYLA: It’s a temporary placement on Ellis Island that will mirror the original one. Ten feet tall.
SARAH: Ten feet. I mean that’s-
KAYLA: 992 pound piece ten feet tall. That’s very dense. “The little sister, as it’s being called, was made in 2009 based on the original 1878 plaster model”
SARAH: Wait so is it copper-colored?
KAYLA: I don’t know.
SARAH: What flavor is it?
KAYLA: It’s been in Paris for a while. Uhh, the statue symbolizes freedom and the light all around the world. We don’t care, whatever. Uhhh It wants to send a message. “Our friendship with the US is very important. We want to conserve and preserve our friendship” No one is trying to rip you apart. Chill?
SARAH: No I mean, France was actually mad at us recently.
SARAH: Because we made some deal about Australian submarines.
KAYLA: (quietly) sure. Okay so she is, she looks kind of a dark bronze, the sister, lady liberty’s little sister.
KAYLA: So here’s the thing so there’s this one-
SARAH: What’s the equivalent for lady but for little?
KAYLA: Oh, lass.
SARAH: (quietly) Lass Liberty.
KAYLA: Here’s the thing, getting back to the sexuality of the Statue of Liberty; so there’s this one that’s called her little sister.
SARAH: (Quietly almost inaudible) does she have genitalia…
KAYLA: I’m pretty sure the other one that’s in- wh
SARAH: Does she have genitalia?
KAYLA: We’re not doing this right now. I think the other statue that's in France is also referred to as her sister so like they can’t be attracted to each other. That’d be weird.
SARAH: I mean
KAYLA: Because originally I was like (gasp) Lesbians! But then wait.
SARAH: I mean that would be ultimate long distance slow burn.
KAYLA: And wouldn’t that be the gayest of all. So let me look up-
SARAH: Like are there a lot of big bronze or copper or whatever the fuck it is of people that are similar in size, that she could be attracted to?
KAYLA: Well I’m sure, we’ve been to museums.
SARAH: But that big? She’s real fuckin’ big. The one that's 1/16th of the size is 10 feet tall.
KAYLA: So maybe it’s other monuments, so it's like the Eiffel Tower and shit.
SARAH: Like maybe she’s in love with the like pyramids at Giza?
KAYLA: That could be good.
SARAH: Maybe they’re in a poly relationship.
KAYLA: I love that.
SARAH: Like all the pyramids.
KAYLA: I just wanna see if the other one is also referred to as a sister because if not they’re definitely-
SARAH: Sister wivessss~
KAYLA: Okay, alright. Ugh this Wikipedia article is way too long. What if we get ourselves into this Wikipedia article. LIke “noted podcast Sounds Fake But Okay turns entire episode into the sexuality of…”
SARAH: Noted for what?
KAYLA: You know. We won an award once. Give me the basic history of the Statue of Liberty. Okay first of all, Statue of Liberty dot org. “She is an icon, a national treasure, and one of the most recognizable figures in the world” (laughs)
SARAH: So she uses she/her pronouns.
KAYLA: According to her website, yes. Okay, in 1865 this French dude said “let’s give a gift from the people of France to the people of the US” because he loved the US for some reason.
SARAH: Why would you do that? Especially as a French person!
KAYLA: He wanted to comem — that’s what I’m saying — “he wanted to commemorate the centennial of the declaration of independence and also celebrate the close relationship between France and America. He was equally moved by the recent abolition of slavery in the US which furthered America’s ideals of liberty and freedom.” Mhm. Yeah right.
SARAH: Sort of.
KAYLA: That worked out great for everyone. So, let’s see. So him and some other guy started whatever. So much symbolism.
KAYLA: Her crown is- alright. Her crown is the light and her tablet is whatever. Blah blah blah.
SARAH: It’s an iPad.
KAYLA: Something about (makes a farting sound). Statue of Liberty is an iPad baby.
SARAH: Kayla, I have a question for you.
SARAH: Here in one of your bios in social media is Ipad baby.
SARAH: What the fuck does that mean?
KAYLA: An iPad baby— you know those toddlers who their parents just put an iPad in front of them to like shut them up?
KAYLA: And then they’re gonna grow up to be attached to screens?
KAYLA: I too am attached to screens-
SARAH: But aren’t we all already?
KAYLA: Yes, because I can’t do anything without watching something or listening to something so I am an iPad baby.
SARAH: (sounding far away) I was at work today and I was standing by my coworkers desk and I didn’t have my phone with me, but her phone was sitting right on her desk and I turned and I looked at it and I went — (back to normal) oops I’m sorry got away from my microphone — I- um I like instintictively went to like tap it to see if there were any notifications and then I was like “this isn’t my fucking phone?”
KAYLA: You just picked it up and walked away.
SARAH: I was at work. We were… anyway. Um but so you’re just an iPad baby because… you, you, you okay. I’m gonna move on. I still feel uncomfortable about that because you were born in 1997 and unless you time traveled you didn’t have an iPad as a baby, but…
KAYLA: Yeah but I’m currently an ipad baby at this moment. I am-
SARAH: There’s not-
KAYLA: I’m gonna need to rewatch the (wheezes) National Treasure film because none of these websites are giving me the accurate… okay.
SARAH: And you think you’re gonna get it from the movie?
KAYLA: Yeah because there’s a whole scene about it, you would know if you FUCKING watched it.
SARAH: Can we do-
KAYLA: He does a reading of the whole history.
SARAH: Can we do a group viewing of Night at the Museum?
KAYLA: That’s not the same movie.
SARAH: I know! But I’ve seen that one and there’s gays in it.
SARAH: Gay little tiny little cowboys.
KAYLA: I love that. Okay, the Statue of Liberty in France was installed 3 years after ours.
SARAH: mm. But where is it?
SARAH: WHERE? France is a big country.
KAYLA: Don’t worry about it! It was originally one of the working models that was made for the quote “real thing” uh.
SARAH: How big is it?
KAYLA: It’s yeah. It-
SARAH: It’s yeah?
SARAH: Does it say the size?
KAYLA: It’s not the only Statue of Liberty replica in Paris. There are some others in some museums. That is the end of this article. This is so unhelpful I hate it.
SARAH: How big is it? “Yeah” is not an…
KAYLA: I don’t know it didn’t- there’s 8 replicas of the Statue of Liberty?
SARAH: I mean there's a lot of replicas of the Statue of Liberty they fuckin sell those little plastic motherfuckers everywhere. You ever been to New York?
KAYLA: (quietly) You’re so right. Hold up.
KAYLA: National Treasure.
SARAH: Oh my god. I have one of those little one euro Eiffel Tower keychains that the people are like hawking at the Eiffel Tower and I realized that it's like ten years old now.
KAYLA: That’s horrifying. Okay we’re on the National Treasure fandom page.
SARAH: Wow this is all we could ask for. This and the Vampedia.
SARAH: Is the only sources we need.
KAYLA: I think I just decided that the Statue of Liberty is an ace icon because we’ve spent a lot of time talking about it and-
SARAH: It would be awkward if we didn’t make her an ace icon at this point.
KAYLA: So I think she is.
SARAH: Like this would be a huge tangent otherwise.
KAYLA: It would be such a waste of time. Okay “the french Statue of Liberty is the sister” this is all I was- this is all I was after. They are sisters and they can’t be lesbians. Why didn’t-? I had to come to this. Okay. They’re sisters, she’s in Paris, that’s where she is. And one of the clues to the lost city of gold is on the torch. Okay. And then they go to the resolute desk in the Buckingham Palace and the Oval Office and the girl has to make out with the creepy guy so Nick Cage can get under the desk and do the little puzzle and then they find it and then they go to Mount Rushmore and they go in it and they find the lost city of gold-
SARAH: Do they go up the nose?
KAYLA: And then it does- no. ANd then it does all collapse in on them and then the evil guy tries to kill them and he ends up dying. This has been a lot of National Treasure spoilers, thank you for- thank you.
SARAH: I was gonna say I don’t need to watch the movie now.
KAYLA: Yeah that’s basically it. Anyway! So- okay. They are sisters. They are unfortunately not lesbian lovers.
SARAH: I wish they went up the nose…
KAYLA: That would've been good.
SARAH: I wonder if you can go up the nose of the eif- not the Eiffel Tower, the Eiffel Tower doesn’t have a nose-
KAYLA: That’s what you think.
SARAH: What's the thing called? Statue of Liberty.
KAYLA: Let me google, let me go back to your inappropriate question.
KAYLA: “Does the Statue of Liberty have geni-”
SARAH: I mean I can say right now-
KAYLA: Wow and it is not an uncommon search, of course, ya nasties.
SARAH: I gotta say no, why would they put effort into that? She’s wearing a big ol- she’s wearing all of those- they’re cascading… her robes! There’s definitely an elevator inside. Is an elevator considered genitalia?
KAYLA: I- yeah… Okay there’s apparently- (wheezes)
SARAH: Wait, was there always an elevator in there? What?
KAYLA: THere is a video on youtube — I will not be watching it— this person goes on a rant, I guess, about how the Statue of Liberty is really a man dressed like a woman and the man is also castrated? I guess?
SARAH: Okay so, um thank you for joining us for our Statue of Liberty podcast.
KAYLA: Lady Liberty is actually Attus the transgender castrated wife of Baal. Who are these people? So anyway I guess you can find that youtube video?
SARAH: Are they the big, are they the big bronze giants in the sky? Is this who they’re attracted to?
KAYLA: (Whispers) I don’t know.
SARAH: What if they’re attracted to- what’s the giant in jack the beanstalk?
KAYLA: It’s not… It’s just a tr- an ogre I thought.
SARAH: What if she’s attracted to the abominable snowman?
KAYLA: (gasp) The green friendly giant! It’s perfect, they’re both green!
SARAH: Yeah! Like the peas!
SARAH: What about..? Why aren’t there more women who are big?
KAYLA: You know, asking the hard-hitting question.
KAYLA: Why are there not-?
SARAH: More big women! I want more really really really big women! So fucking tall! Thick!
KAYLA: Give me. I think we’ve really learned a lot today.
SARAH: I think this is really educational. This is good content and I think we’re just gonna stop now. Kayla, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: What’s the Statue of Liberty-
SARAH: Is an elevator genitalia?
KAYLA: -Oh? Okay. A lot of options here.
SARAH: (laughs) Is Sarah… Okay?
KAYLA: We’re not gonna do that one.
SARAH: I would like to know. Can someone tell me? Will you at least answer?
KAYLA: Is the Statue of … You’re not — is the Statue of Liberty an aspec icon?
SARAH: Is she a libertarian? I hope not.
KAYLA: That would be so awkward dude.
SARAH: It would be really awkward.
KAYLA: Okay those are our two polls, very important.
SARAH: Is she Libertarian??
KAYLA: Noo. It’s “is elevator genitalia?” and “is the Statue of Liberty an aspec icon?”
SARAH: Ah. In that order. (laughs)
KAYLA: And I expect and require, dare I say, aspec Statue of Liberty fan art.
SARAH: I um, I was gonna, I was gonna say we should ask a third question and it's the one I just said, but I forgot and now we can’t.
SARAH: It was whatever I said. What did I say it was funny?
KAYLA: Here is what I would like. I feel like we haven’t really made a cultural impact on the aspec community in terms of adding to the lore of things like cake or garlic bread things like that…
SARAH: I mean we can’t owe money…
KAYLA: I don’t know if we’ve really infiltrated the entire community with that one, yeah.
SARAH: I think everyone knows that, Kayla.
KAYLA: Okay well then our second one that I would like-
KAYLA: -is I would like us all to start talking about the Statue of Liberty as an aspec icon and not just what she stands for-
SARAH: She has a very pointy hat, she can like really just kind…
SARAH: Like if you’re bothering her…
KAYLA: It’s not the Americanness it’s just like her on her own and I think we should all just start talking-
SARAH: She transcends borders.
KAYLA: -about that like it was already some lore. So.
SARAH: And she can’t owe money either.
KAYLA: Yeah there you go pfff, perfect.
SARAH: What kind of um currency do the big people use?
KAYLA: A really big pear.
SARAH: How big?
KAYLA: I mean big enough?
SARAH: Kayla what’s your beef and your juice this week?
KAYLA: My beef is that I have become convinced that there is a spot on my scalp that is balding.
SARAH: Oh dear.
KAYLA: And it’s really becoming a worrisome situation because I swear to god it is. Like it’s thinner. It’s thinner!
SARAH:It’s probably not. Probably not.
KAYLA: I know. I can’t tell if I’m hyper fixating on it. Yes.
SARAH: I think you are.
KAYLA: Or if it’s thin (laughs). Anyway. No matter if it's balding or not, it’s causing me stress.
SARAH: Lots of emotional distress in this house.
KAYLA: I love being neurodivergent. Um. My juices include House of Gucci. Great film.
SARAH: Great film. I haven’t seen it. I was supposed to see it with my coworkers on Monday but then I didn’t get the ticket so then we’ll find out if I actually go.
KAYLA: Okay. There is a very wild sex scene.
KAYLA: So wild. Anyway. It was really good. Lady Gaga’s a national treasure.
SARAH: Kind of like…
KAYLA: Kind of like the Statue of Liberty.
SARAH: the Statue of Liberty.
KAYLA: What if we, on our plot of land in Ireland, make a really really tall and really really skinny Statue of Liberty? (laughs)
SARAH: Now this is possibly the best idea you’ve ever had. Here’s the problem.
SARAH: Here’s the problem.
SARAH: How are we gonna stack all the aces on top of each other if they all also have to be on top of the Statue of Liberty?
SARAH: You know?
KAYLA: No, I've done it. We stack all the aces on top of each other and then we put a really long robe over them
KAYLA: ANd then it’s like “oh is that the Statue of Liberty or is it a thousand aspecs-”
SARAH: We become the Statue of Liberty.
KAYLA: “-in a green robe”
SARAH: And does that answer the question of is elevator genitalia? No it doesn’t, but some things are not meant to be known.
KAYLA: Yeah. Um I would also love to see some art of a bunch of people stacked on top of each other peeking out of their giant robe that makes them the Statue of Liberty.
KAYLA: I have a lot of art requests coming in.
SARAH: What’s the- what’s the book? What’s the tablet? What’s on the tablet?
SARAH: No I mean candy crush? What’s on the…
KAYLA: (laughs) oh. What’s an aspec thing to have… I don’t know.
SARAH: Just a reminder to hydrate.
KAYLA: Yeah, yup.
SARAH: Okay, was that both beef and juice.
KAYLA: (laughs) yes.
SARAH: Okay, I don’t know… My juice is (trailing off and slurring slightly) BTS, BTS, BTS, Bts, bts, bts, pspspspsps sps sps… (whispers) I could talk about it for a long time but I won’t…
KAYLA: I can’t wait to see what Raquel our transcriber puts in for that for all those noises-
SARAH: (goes back to whispering BTS quietly in the background)
KAYLA: -because I don’t know if you’ve been looking at the transcriptions lately, but Raquel has some very creative ways of describing our mouth sounds and like I can’t wait for this one.
SARAH: So true. Much respect for Padya who I saw at the BTS concert-
KAYLA: So true.
SARAH: -who allowed me to mooch onto their car and not even pay any money which was great that I got to see them, but Raquel really has upped the ante with the mouth sounds. Anyway, that's my juice. My beef is that my stomach has been hurting this whole time.
KAYLA: (quietly in the background) Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
SARAH: I’m in pain and I want it to stop so, um, we’re ending this podcast.
SARAH: Also because it’s podcast ending time, bitch. Oh goodness, we’re off for a week and I don’t know where I am anymore. You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your thoughts on whether an elevator is genitalia on our social medias @soundsfakepod. We also have a Patreon. If you want to give us money for talking about whether or not elevators are genitalia.
KAYLA: Great use of money.
SARAH: Yes yes yes! We have two new $2 patrons they are-
KAYLA: Two Two!
SARAH: Caitlyn Vos-
SARAH: Our girl Caitlyn!
KAYLA: Of Sounds Fake- I don’t know if we’ve talked about this on the pod recently for anyone that’s new, Caitlyn is a listener who decided to st-st-st-st Jesus Christ. Who decided to start an out of context twitter for us.
KAYLA: Let me see if I can find the @ because it’s really good.
SARAH: Isn’t soundsfakeooc?
KAYLA: I often look at it- that sounds right - I often look at it and say “I don’t remember this” and then I comment that and then Caitlyn has to give me context (laughs). Yeah soundsfakeooc. Very exquisite stuff.
KAYLA: Thank you, Catilyn, for your service.
SARAH: Caitlyn was also one of the few little sneakies who managed to find my stan twitter-
SARAH: And recently a couple of people who found it because of my phone number because my phone number was connected to it, a couple IRLS, I soft blocked them.
SARAH: I learned what softblocking is.
KAYLA: I don’t know what that is.
SARAH: It’s when you block someone and then immediately unblock them so that it- forces-
BOTH: It forces them to unfollow.
KAYLA: That makes sense.
SARAH: I did that recently for a couple of the IRLs that just like randomly for some reasons followed-
KAYLA: Wait what the hell did you soft block me?
SARAH: You don’t even follow me.
KAYLA: That’s- yeah. That’s not really useful.
SARAH: (laughs) you haven’t followed me to begin with so I can’t soft block you.
KAYLA: I wanna be soft blocked!
SARAH: But Caitlyn made the cut, I let her stay.
KAYLA: Wow excellent job Caitlyn.
SARAH: Great job Caitlyn. Our other $2 patron is Emily Strain, who is not Caitlyn, but probably is just as cool.
KAYLA: Yes. We love you equally.
SARAH: Indeed. Our $5 patrons we are promoting this week are: Ria Faustino, Daniel Walker, Lily, Madeline Askew, Lily- no Livvy. Hm. You know, I meant to say Livvy, but I said Lily, but I was like it’s okay because I’m gonna say Livvy- no. So they were both meant to be said and I said them wrong.
SARAH: But both Livvy and Lily are here. Not at my house, but-
SARAH: Our $10 patrons we are promoting this week are: The Stubby Tech who’d like to promote checking patreon to make sure you're actually supporting the podcasts you think you are, because what if you think you’re giving all of your money, all of your life savings, all of your dollars, cents, euros,and euros cents, pesos, whatever your currency is. What if you think you’re giving your money to people who are having really serious discussions about whether or not elevators are genitalia and then you find out you’re not. That would be embarrassing. It is also brought- this podcast is also brought to you by Rosie Costello, my niece, she’s a dog. She’d like to promote sticks. Preferably long sticks. I received a picture today of Rosie with all the socks that she had hidden in the living room.
SARAH: It was a lot of socks.
KAYLA: That’s not nice of her.
SARAH: A couple scrunchies too. Um she was very proud of herself. And Hector Murillo who’d like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, like those socks. Our other $10 patrons are: David Nurse, Sherronda J Brown, Arcnes, Benjamin Ybarra, Anonymous, my Aunt Jeannie, Cass, Doug Rice, H. Valdís, Barefoot Backpacker, The Steve, Ari K., Mattie, Derek and Carissa, Khadir, Potater, Changeling MX, and DAVID… JAY.
KAYLA: Wait, I think there might be a new 10.
SARAH: Well you didn’t put it in there.
KAYLA: Oh no there wasn’t. Carry on!
SARAH: Wow so you were lying to me live on the podcast? Write that down, Kayla is gaslighting me. Our $15 patrons are: Nathaniel White, NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, my mom Julie who’d like to promote Free Mom Hugs, Sara Jones who’s at @eternalloli everywhere, Martin Chiesel who’d like to promote his podcast, Everyone’s Special and No One Is, Leila who’d like to promote “Love is love” also applying to aro people, Shrubbery who’d like to promote The Planet Earth, Maggie Capalbo who’d like to promote their dogs Minnie, Leia, and Loki, Andrew Hillum who’d like to promote The Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Click4Caroline who’d like to promote Ace of Hearts the documentary — Uh, now, Kayla, Kayla, there is one rule on this document-
SARAH: -and it’s that Dragonfly is always the last one.
KAYLA: Well I’m sorry for trying to help you and fill things in for you.
SARAH: (sad droopy dog voice) Thanks, thanks puppy…
KAYLA: I’ve also never read along as you’ve said these things, and it's even more astonishing how fast you go as I’m reading along.
SARAH: That one was actually like really fast! I was proud of myself.
KAYLA: I know that was- that might be your best.
SARAH: And I even read Minnie Leia and Loki in order (laughs).
KAYLA: That was great, it was perfect.
SARAH: Anyway we have a new $15 patron it’s Nina Maggart. Maggaart-
KAYLA: It’s my aunt!
SARAH: Maggart, right?
SARAH: It’s Kayla's aunt! I can’t believe we both have an aunt that sponsors this podcast.
KAYLA: Wow dreams come true!
SARAH: Hey aunt Nina what do you want to promote?
KAYLA: She said she had to think about it.
KAYLA: So she can promote her cat, her very elderly cat, who I’ve never gotten to meet before.
SARAH: Is this that cat that hated the other cats?!
KAYLA: Yeah so my aunt and her family, my cousins or whatever, had 2 mainecoons and they were very old and one very very sadly passed away. Um but it was the mean one that died and the nice one is living her best life and is much happier. I’ve never gotten to meet her before, but she was actually being friendly when I was over for thanksgiving. So I got to meet her for the first time, literally ever, she’s 15 years old and I got to hold her and she’s so big and old and grumpy looking and it was an incredible moment to behold and my aunt keeps sending me pictures of her and it’s great.
SARAH: Well thanks aunt Nina! Um our final $15 patron is Dragonfly who’d like to promote old mean mainecoons. (laughs)
SARAH: Really bitchy ones. Our $20 patrons are: Sarah T who’d like to promote long walks outside and Sabrina Hauck, who-
SARAH: New also. Kayla, please read this one.
KAYLA: So, the, yes. I don’t- okay. The thing we were asked to promote is “Merry christmas Sabrina - love mom and dad”. Which leads me to believe that this patronage was not created by Sabrina, but for Sabrina as a Merry Christmas from Sabrina’s Mom and Dad.
SARAH: In Sabrina’s honor.
KAYLA: In Sabrina’s honor. I need to know if this is true, because if so that is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
SARAH: Genuinely upsetting.
KAYLA: I’m obsessed with it, and I love it and I hope you listened long enough to hear this because I need to know.
SARAH: Uh yeah, maybe we should just say it at the top of next week's pod just you know…
KAYLA: Yes just so Sabrina can hear it loud and clear.
SARAH: At the time where people actually listen. On that note. Thank you for listening. Tune in next Sunday, for more of us in your ears and we actually already have an episode- we have a topic planned. What a fucking delight.
KAYLA: Can you even believe it?
SARAH: I can’t.
KAYLA: Until then, take good care of your cowwwwws~