Sounds Fake But Okay
Sounds Fake But Okay
Ep 312: Reddit Rabbit Hole (AITA 12)
Hey what's up hello! You know that time it is. The artist formerly known as Am I the Asshole is back — this week we come to you with Reddit stories of all sorts, and also a Google review for some reason.
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/reddit-rabbit-hole-aita-12
ELLE article: https://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-relationships/a61472319/friendship-asexual-community/
Virgin Radio Pridecast Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Cb6mSudbWXnRSdRgqCsPp?si=fe0fcd6bbe894442
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[00:00:00]
SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl, I'm Sarah, that's me
KAYLA: And a bi demisexual girl, that's me Kayla
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand
KAYLA: On today's episode, A Reddit Rabbit Hole
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod
KAYLA: Hello
SARAH: Hello. How is everyone?
KAYLA: I was waiting for them to answer
SARAH: I'm not going to leave that whole pause in
KAYLA: Well, I thought it would be nice to give them some time
SARAH: Here's… I know but when there's a pause longer than about a quarter of a second
KAYLA: Yeah, well
SARAH: I feel the need to remove it
KAYLA: I know you do but this is the time they could use to go to the new Spotify comments feature and leave a comment with how they're doing.
SARAH: Oh, so true. Oh
KAYLA: Sarah gave me a thumbs up.
SARAH: I didn't intentionally give a thumbs up. But Zoom said that was a thumbs up
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: No, even… even when we intentionally leave silences for comedic purposes, I will usually shorten them.
KAYLA: I know you hate it. I know
SARAH: I can't do it. I can't do it. All right, Kayla we have housekeeping, don't we?
KAYLA: I have a house to keep, yes.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: One is boring and one is fun
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: The boring one is, this concerns anyone who is currently a patron on our Patreon or is thinking about becoming a patron, Apple is starting to institute a rule that if you purchase something with an in-app purchase on an iOS app you pay a fee.
SARAH: Fuck ass Apple
KAYLA: Fuck ass Apple, yes. So, if you currently are paying for a membership or thinking about paying for a membership through the Patreon iOS app, just so you know starting November 2024 there will be a 4-ish dollar fee, four-and-a-half-dollar fee added to each of the payments. So, we would not recommend going through the iOS app. If you want to become a member, we would recommend just doing it through your browser or you know, on your desktop or your laptop or whatever just kind of skip the whole app situation.
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: Yes, so there's that. The second one is more fun, we were recently on the radio Sarah, did you know?
SARAH: I forgot
KAYLA: I know you did
SARAH: We were also in ELLE.
KAYLA: We were in ELLE. Okay, yeah first we were an ELLE, the wonderful Erin Hug interviewed us for an article about friendship because ELLE was doing kind of a whole story package on friendship which is really cool and Erin wrote an article about the aspec perspective on friendship and the article opens with Sarah talking about our friend Miranda who if you're a longtime listener you will know she's like our most had guests on the podcast
SARAH: Our most had guest
KAYLA: You know what I mean, yes. We were in ELLE, I'll try to remember to link that in the description of this episode and then also we were on Virgin Radio, which I think is funny
SARAH: He he
KAYLA: But Virgin Radio UK was doing a bunch of pride programming over the summer and they've been running a pridecast I think weekly, I'm not sure how many episodes I guess I could look but I'm not sure how often but it aired on Wednesday which is the day we're recording this
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: I did not hear it live. And if you also did not hear it live, that's okay because it will be on a podcast app soon.
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: So, if you look up Virgin Radio Pridecast on your podcast provider, it should come up. It's not there as of today, I would hope it'll be up by then and I'll try to link it
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But if not, we'll link it next week, but it should be called ‘Queer Sexpectations’ the episode
SARAH: Slay
KAYLA: Slay. Um, so yeah, listen to that, that's all
SARAH: Yay
KAYLA: Yay.
SARAH: Thanks, and then boo Apple
KAYLA: Yeah, well
SARAH: All right. Well, Kayla, now that we've gotten that out of the way, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week we're doing reddit…
SARAH: Aita
KAYLA: Stories. We have rebranded, ‘Am I the asshole?’ because they're not always am I the assholes anymore?
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: To reddit rabbit hole. I might still put in ‘am I the asshole?’ in the title of this one just to ease everyone into the transition. Just a reddit rabbit hole slash AITA, you know, we'll see
SARAH: Am I the rabbit hole?
KAYLA: Interesting. Am I read it question?
SARAH: Good question
KAYLA: Who's to say?
SARAH: Who’s to say?
KAYLA: But yes, that is what we are doing.
SARAH: Do we want to just dive in? Shall we simply begin?
KAYLA: I think we simply shall
SARAH: Okay. Give me a number between one and fuck if I know, fifteen?
KAYLA: That's so many. How about 15?
SARAH: Oh my God I have to count. One, two, three… why do you start numbering these?
KAYLA: You shouldn't ask me that if you don't want to do it like that
SARAH: Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, this link seems to be broken, so I'm concerned, we'll see if this… Yes, I'm over 18, Jesus Christ. I just saw this and I remembered what it was
KAYLA: Oh, oh
SARAH: Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Are you ready?
KAYLA: I don't know if I am, you're scaring me
SARAH: My note on this was that all of the comments are people being disgusted but I think it's hilarious
KAYLA: Okay. Interesting.
SARAH: Mm-mm. This is from ‘true off my chest’. Not safe for work.
KAYLA: Great.
SARAH: I'm 21 and I just realized I've been eating my tonsil stones when I gave a blowjob
KAYLA: Okay, I mean as a tonsil stone haver, I'm going to have a lot of thoughts on this I do think
SARAH: Okay, you guys I have no excuse for this story, it comes completely as a shock to me because I just put two and two together and finally found my answer. Let's start off when I was a kid, I've never known what tonsil stones are and I never even knew what a tonsil was
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: I thought it was the uvula, a little dangly thing that swings…
KAYLA: How do you not know what your tonsil is?
SARAH: I don't have a good grasp on it either to be honest
KAYLA: Clearly y'all did not have strep once a month as a child like some of us.
SARAH: Sorry. I had ear infections
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: And I've always thought that when you get your tonsils removed you have surgery to remove your uvula, I don't know why I didn't question the plural of the term tonsils when I thought it meant a single thing, I knew it was in your mouth and that tonsil stones are bacteria basically and can give bad breath. As a kid I've dealt with bouts of bad breath and I did chalk it up to not brushing enough, not flossing, not using mouthwash long enough, not doing enough in general. Now this part is fairly disgusting, at some point, I believe now I had developed tonsil stones when I was dealing with my bad breath and I never knew why there would be random piece of ‘rice’ that would appear in my mouth.
KAYLA: Mm?
SARAH: So, I chew it and swallow it. Now, the realization occurs when I'm dealing with another battle with bad breath, my boyfriend, bless his heart, tried his darndest to help me solve this issue. He got me different food, I've been eating unhealthy for a bit because my budget was mostly rent, reminded me often to floss and I've been brushing thoroughly twice a day, sometimes more. He’s never rude about it, but he's understanding of my situation and always let me know when it's more prominent or not. It's not until we're getting down and dirty that I finally understand as I'm giving him the best head in his life, so he says, I feel another piece of ‘rice’ in my mouth, with horror, I have a split second of clarity with his schlong in my mouth I finally understand that I've been having tonsil stones for as long as I can remember and that I've been eating it and right now as I'm literally choking on my boyfriend his dick has just dislodged another tonsil stone and I can't stop to spit it out and so I swallow it again. I didn't say anything at the time, but I checked my throat and I believe I saw the cavity where it was. A week later, I'm already seeing a difference in my breath and mouth health in general, I made a joke to my boyfriend about how I solved the issue and I've been mistakenly consuming my tonsil stones, he looked at me in disbelief horror and some level of disgust, put his hand on my knee and said, “some things you do not have to tell me.” And then an edit afterwards that said, “so apparently I'm not the only one who has consumed tonsil stones thinking they were rice, yay us.”
KAYLA: I have a lot to say on this matter
SARAH: Tell me, tell me, tell me
KAYLA: I too am a tonsil stone haver. So, I don't think this person really describes it. If y'all don't know what a tonsil stone is, so your tonsils are the thing in the back of your throat that if you have strep that's what like they say the white stuff is on them, you know?
SARAH: Oh, okay. Yeah, I have learned just now that I don’t really have good breath because my tonsils are…
KAYLA: Great. I have very like prominent tonsils, like they're kind of like bigger, so as a child, I got strep like once a month, why they didn't remove my tonsils? I don't know, ask my doctor
SARAH: You don't need them?
KAYLA: You don't need them, no
SARAH: Why are they there?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Yeah, human body
KAYLA: Exactly. So, tonsils are also like kind of cavernous like there's… it's not like they're just like solid skin, you know? There's just like… there's like some folds and creases and shit. I don't know and so…
[00:10:00]
SARAH: I don't like this at all
KAYLA: No, so for me I have kind of large and cavernous tonsils, which is why I got… I'm sorry everyone, that’s why I got strep a lot as a kid
SARAH: Kayla Large And Cavernous Tonsils Kaszyca
KAYLA: Sorry, I'm sorry. So, a tonsil stone is a build-up of like plaque and bacteria and stuff like that that just kind of like gets lodged in your tonsil and after a while it kind of just like hardens and turns into like a little ball, you know. I've often heard that it leads to bad breath. I've never noticed it like making my breath bad, I don't know. I do extract them myself much to the chagrin of most of the people in my life
SARAH: Ha ha. How?
KAYLA: Have I never told you about this Sarah?
SARAH: I'm roughly aware of the fact that you have experienced this
KAYLA: Okay, so I will take a Q-tip and the flashlight and just push them out, like I will push on my tonsil and just push them out.
SARAH: I'm confused about where the tonsil is
KAYLA: I would tell you to look it up but I don't… like most of the pictures you find online like make them look much grosser than they are, I wonder if… I'm trying to flashlight in my mouth right now
SARAH: I don’t want to look in your mouth. Oh, it's those things? It's like the things that are kind of like behind the uvula? They're like on the… They're like on the top?
KAYLA: Uh-uh. Not on the top, on the sides
SARAH: They're like on the… but they're not like… they're not vertical. They're like…
KAYLA: Well, they're like lumps.
SARAH: I don't…
KAYLA: Let me try to find you a non-horrifying.
SARAH: No, no. I'm busy. I'm busy, that's okay
KAYLA: Anyway, so I will sometimes dislodge mine because, one, I can like sometimes feel them and, two, I have a problem with picking things and it's very satisfying to me and my ENT said it was fine. Okay, here's a… Here's a like a drawing so it's not gross
SARAH: Oh. Okay, sure.
KAYLA: Look at those little lumps
SARAH: Sure, okay
KAYLA: Anyway, before I knew I had tonsil stones, I would also sometimes be like, “why is there a piece of food in my mouth?” Like did it get like stuck in my teeth or whatever? And I would also swallow it. Now I know I have tonsil stones and sometimes they do just like dislodge themselves if I'm like… if I cough or sneeze or whatever, they just like pop out
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: I still know I have tonsil stones and I still swallow them because if I'm out in public what the fuck do you want me to do about it?
SARAH: Yeah, just be like, here.
KAYLA: It's already in my mouth
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, like yeah, I just swallow it because…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like I don't think that's gross, like I don't think any of this is gross, I think it's very funny but like I don't think eating it is gross because it's like eating your own plaque
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like it's just… it's in there already
SARAH: It’s like swallowing your own phlegm, like what's the difference?
KAYLA: Exactly it's already up in there
SARAH: Um, the comments are like, “what the hell did I just read? I missed the person I was before I read this post, couldn't waterboard this info out of me.” I think it's funny
KAYLA: I don't think this is bad. I think this is hilarious.
SARAH: I think it's funny. All right…
KAYLA: I don't think these people understand a tonsil stone.
SARAH: They don't understand joy and whimsy. Um. Wow, I really do have a lot of AITAs, Jesus Christ
KAYLA: See and this is what it looks like when you have a tonsil stone
SARAH: I don’t really want to…
KAYLA: It's a drawing, I didn't… Look
SARAH: I'm still not interested in it. I don't like it
KAYLA: Look
SARAH: I don't like that very much and I don't wish to be a part of it
KAYLA: I'm going to check for tonsil stones before I go to bed.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: I’m going to push up my tonsils
SARAH: All right, give me another number between one and like, I don't know, 20
KAYLA: Two
SARAH: Two
KAYLA: I just don't think that's gross I think it's funny.
SARAH: Ugh. Horrible news. This was a tweet and this person has gone on private
KAYLA: RIP, number two
SARAH: So, I can't read it. Maybe I'll save it and see if another time maybe…
KAYLA: They’ll be un-private
SARAH: They’ll be un-private. All right, give me another number
KAYLA: Three
SARAH: Okay, oh yes, okay, this is a review like a Google review on a business
KAYLA: Okay, so it's not on reddit at all?
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Okay, great.
SARAH: But it's from that girl on Twitter who I get a lot of the reddit posts from
KAYLA: Okay, sure
SARAH: I don't even… I don't even follow her they just pop up
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Okay, one star. Unfortunately, my experience at business name redacted on Mother's Day ended in a sour way. I booked a table there because of the exceptional service and excellent meals I have recipes there in the past. I believe that's supposed to say “received”
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: However, as my family and I were leaving and waiting for our cars outside I politely approached a waitress who was attending to the outdoor seating area and expressed my interest and asked if I could take her number down. I made sure to keep it brief, understanding she was busy with work, while she declined to share her contact information, which I completely respect, her response was incredibly disrespectful, dismissive, and rude. As a long-standing customer who has spent a good deal of money at this restaurant over the years, I felt deeply embarrassed and degraded by her attitude. Though I don't expect her or the restaurant to acknowledge this incident, the experience was so negative that I felt compelled to share my thoughts. Regrettably, I will not be returning to this establishment. While it's possible she was having a bad day, I sincerely hope this young lady learns to treat all individuals with respect, especially when they approach her with courtesy
KAYLA: Um
SARAH: Hey homie
KAYLA: No
SARAH: You ever have a girl who's at work and you hit on her at work and she rejects your advance and you're so mad about it that you post a negative review of the business she works at even though you've clearly gone here many times over many years?
KAYLA: You know what's so confusing to me about this? It's like clearly it seems like this guy, I have to assume it's a man
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: Was embarrassed by this situation
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And if so, why would you then post it somewhere publicly like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I feel like…
SARAH: Also, he said he was there with his family for Mother's Day
KAYLA: Weird time to hit on someone
SARAH: Also, he's like she was disrespectful, dismissive and rude, but what did she say? Like at least… at least tell us… give us a…
KAYLA: Yeah, I also… like if she was disrespectful, I feel like she had every right to be, you're hitting on her in her place of work in a profession that is often very stressful
SARAH: Yeah, I also don't believe him when he says that like he would have taken it nicely if she had politely declined him, I don't trust that at all.
KAYLA: I also don't trust that he did approach her in a considerate way
SARAH: Exactly.
KAYLA: I don't trust anything about this.
SARAH: I don't trust anything about this man. So true. Okay, that one was quick, give me another number
KAYLA: 10
SARAH: 10? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,10. Okay, okay, okay, okay, you are ready? This is from… it's from ‘Relationship Advice’ on Reddit, but it's an ‘Am I the asshole.’
KAYLA: Okay, great.
SARAH: Are you… are you ready?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: When my girlfriend and I get into a fight she pees on the floor
KAYLA: No, no, no, no. No.
SARAH: So, throwaway account for obvious reasons, but a couple of months ago I, male 24, I met this really incredible girl, female 22, and we hit it off… I'm thinking about my tonsils now and I'm very aware
KAYLA: Well, it's about time you know where they are
SARAH: Anyway, they hit it off. We shared a lot of common interests and spent pretty much every waking moment together, she had this really weird obsession with being a cat girl, but I thought it was kind of hot, so I don't really care too much
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Very clear what kind of people these people are.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And even though it was pretty early into our relationship, we decided to move in together and it was pretty good for the first couple of weeks but then things started getting weird.
KAYLA: Mm-mm. You can't do that. We can't just be moving in with people
SARAH: I'm not going to beat around the bush and I need you to understand that I'm being 100% serious, she started pissing on the carpet when she's frustrated with me
KAYLA: I can't…
SARAH: She says it's part of her kinship or something, but when we have an argument, she'll just squat and piss somewhere in the apartment. I don't know what to do, I'm losing my mind and my entire apartment smells like urine, I do genuinely enjoy her company, but this is getting out of hand, I need help, please
KAYLA: Okay, I… there's a really obvious answer about what to do here
SARAH: Litter box
KAYLA: And it's to break up
SARAH: We took that to different directions
KAYLA: You can't unless you are explicitly into piss
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: And not just into piss but into piss being all over the place
SARAH: And it has to be consensual and this is not consensual.
KAYLA: No, there is… this is completely unacceptable.
SARAH: Listen…
KAYLA: You have to break up
SARAH: If you identify as a cat girl, that is your right, that does not give you the right to piss on the floor. I'm sorry, but you're not an actual cat. And you know what? An actual cat doesn't have the right to do that either, it's just that we can't control them
KAYLA: That's the thing. It's like even if… Like cats don't just piss on the carpet.
SARAH: It's… yeah, it's for a reason.
KAYLA: Like…
SARAH: Either they have like a UTI or you've done something to really piss them off
KAYLA: Yeah, like if there is a litter box there, they will probably use it.
SARAH: Yeah, some of the highlighted comments are, “this is one of those times when I regret learning how to read, clearly you need a spray bottle always at your disposal…”
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: “When she squats, she gets sprayed until she goes to the litter box”
KAYLA: This is why we don't move in with people we've just started dating.
SARAH: “How about you take her to a doctor and get her checked?”
KAYLA: Oh, no.
[00:20:00]
SARAH: Oh, this person says, “take her to the vet to get spayed, that usually remedies the problem.”
KAYLA: Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
SARAH: Oh, oh my God
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know why that person came to Reddit for help, I fear…
SARAH: I fear…
KAYLA: That the answer has been there all along.
SARAH: Yeah, they must simply break up, that's unhinged. Um, give me another number
KAYLA: Um, seven
SARAH: This is one of the ones from my sister
KAYLA: Emily
SARAH: I think this may have been the one that she sent just the other day, I don't know because I didn't read it
KAYLA: Great
SARAH: Um, all right wife (29 F) made inappropriate comments towards my (29 M) sister (24 F) during a family event and now things are awkward between our families, I’m not sure what to do. Are you ready?
KAYLA: Okay. Yes
SARAH: Wife and I invited both sides of our family over last evening for a big announcement ‘we are’ pregnant
KAYLA: Okay, great
SARAH: In total it was my mother, younger sister, and grandmother along with both of my wife's parents, grandparents and older sisters slash her husband and her niece. Everything went well with the announcement and everything, tears were shed on both sides the family, mainly our parents and grandparents, everyone was talkative and asked my wife… and basked my wife in questions. She was happy to answer and talk about the baby and our excitement, it's all she can talk about to everybody. My sister was engaged but didn't talk much, she isn't that much of a talker when in big settings and her and her wife… nice… No, damn it, for a second I thought the sister was gay
KAYLA: Nice
SARAH: But he meant her and his wife.
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: Her and OP's wife don't have that deep of a bond, but she's always cordial.
KAYLA: Oh, man
SARAH: I thought she was gay
KAYLA: No, that's so excited
SARAH: Um, I think my wife was trying to include her in the conversation and noticed her quietness because eventually she turned her attention to my sister and began asking her quite personal questions specifically about her life and future plans. She still lives with my mother and is in between jobs. My sister just responded with finding a career I like and finishing my book, she hopes to be a writer, but even after this answer wife kept prying, at this point things were starting to get awkward at the table, my mother tried to lighten the mood by basically saying she'll get to where she needs to be in time, my wife asked her if she had a boyfriend, sister said no and that she doesn't want one – nice. I could… I could tell she was getting uncomfortable
KAYLA: Nice
SARAH: I could tell she was getting uncomfortable and I tried to change the subject but for some reason my wife just wouldn't let up, she said something about her being such a pretty girl…
KAYLA: No
SARAH: And that she hopes now can find a committed relationship because intimacy and marriage will open her up to ‘true womanhood’
KAYLA: No
SARAH: At this point I told my wife my sister doesn't seem to be comfortable by her questions and for us to talk about something else. Everyone was silent at the table and I think that was what gave her the hint that she went too far, the subject changed but for the rest of the night there was an awkward tension and my sister doesn't… didn't talk anymore at all or even say goodbye. Later last night once everyone had left, I got a call from my mother, she was a bit upset about the fact that she felt like my wife was attacking my sister and felt as if her questions were inappropriate, I told her I'd have a chat with my wife, but my wife was actually upset too because she felt as if the night was ruined because of the tension that happened after she was just trying to make a friendly conversation. She said she was just trying to encourage her, but I tried to explain my sister doesn't have an interest in that stuff sex or relationships – nice
KAYLA: Nice
SARAH: And it… And it was a bit odd to ask. I honestly don't think she meant any malicious intent with the things she said, she's just a bit overwhelmed with the excitement and love she feels with being pregnant, I am too, but I tried to explain to her that it put my sister in an awkward situation and there are some things that people may not feel comfortable talking about. Now, there is a bit of strain between her and I and me and my family because of this, there have never been any issues between our families before, she doesn't think she really did anything that wrong, is there a way I can help her to understand my family's perspective and maybe vice-versa? While she's pregnant, I don't want to cause her undue stress more than what's necessary, that's it. Honestly…
KAYLA: Husband slay
SARAH: Husband slay
KAYLA: Excellent husband, excellent husband, very good brother
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I love that. Yeah, I mean that's tough because I mean it doesn't seem like the wife was trying to like mean anything bad by it. I think this is just…
SARAH: So amatonormative, the amount of amatonormativity is…
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Is branded into her brain, and I don't know if maybe because she's pregnant and she's all excited about the pregnancy like that's making it worse? I don't know.
KAYLA: Yeah. Well, I think it could be she's just so excited about the pregnancy that she thinks that like everyone needs to feel this excitement and like everyone's life will be better if they get married and have kids
SARAH: Yeah. Like she wants everyone else to feel the way that she feels but
KAYLA: Right, which is a nice thought but just very misguided to think that someone else will get the same amount of joy out of the same thing as you, when really you just want your sister-in-law to like, you know, have a great life and be happy. It's just very misplaced, so, yeah, it's very unfortunate because it's just so engrained and I feel like conversations like these are pretty common, especially in families
SARAH: Yeah. Also, it's like being a pretty girl and she hopes that she can find a committed relationship because intimacy and marriage will open her up to true womanhood, what the fuck?
KAYLA: That's so bizarre. What is… what is that?
SARAH: Also, intimacy and marriage will open her up to true womanhood. I feel like that's like a… In some ways it's like a veiled way to talk about sex
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: With your parents and your parents-in-law in the room with you
KAYLA: It's very… It's very odd to talk about that in a family setting and also with someone that you don't like have that close of a relationship with like also just the idea that you need that to have true womanhood is just so…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Toxic
SARAH: And it's like, look, you don't have to be besties with your sister-in-law, that's… it's not always going to work like that, sometimes it will and sometimes it won't and if it doesn't then you have to just accept that that's what your relationship is and don't try and push it
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Because that's just going to make things worse
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Especially since this was obviously a situation where this sister… because it was a larger group and it was also… The other side of the family that she presumably doesn't know as well, she felt more uncomfortable and didn't want to participate as much
KAYLA: That sucks because yeah, it happened in front of people that she doesn't probably even know well
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Which is just… Well, would you say… excuse you, because at the end he asked for advice of how to explain to her his family's perspective, what would you… what do you think is a good way to have that conversation?
SARAH: I think it would be setting it up for her… for the wife, in such a way that says, this is what you want and this is how you feel about these things but you cannot assume that everyone else wants the same thing and it's… it's important to like be clear to the way I feel like I understand that you meant well with this
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I understand that, but if that is not what she wants then don't fucking push it.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And at the end of the day, you made her uncomfortable whether you intended to or not. So, I don't know, I think just trying to explain amatonormativity
KAYLA: Yeah, honestly.
SARAH: Oh my god, this person goes, “your wife needs to not only apologize but attempt to increase her emotional intelligence to anything above zero-ish”
KAYLA: Yikes
SARAH: It's also interesting that this happened… Presumably this guy and his wife have been together for at least a little while if they're married.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, interesting that nothing like this had come up before, like this was kind of the first time that such a interaction seems to have happened
KAYLA: That's what really makes me feel like it's the pregnancy that spurred it, is she's like in her motherhood era and is just, you know, I don't know, maybe she's feeling more as if she's an authority on topics like that now that she's pregnant, so, she's kind of able to preach more about that, you know?
SARAH: Yeah, I don't like it
KAYLA: I also do not like it
SARAH: Another number, your honor
KAYLA: Twelve.
SARAH: Oh, this one is nice, this is from ‘true off my chest.’ It's… the header is, my husband and I are such mediocre people, I have no idea how we got this fairytale romance
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: This person says, basically the title, my husband and I are not great people, average-looking. He's a little bigoted, not funny, most likely might be autistic
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: I'm mentally ill and insecure and needy, both of us are uninteresting, but we have like this insane love for each other, I was so completely okay with my independence as a person before we met and now I unironically think I would kill myself if he ever died, neither of us have friends, our family cares about us, but we have rocky relationships with them mainly because we don't really like them, (we're not great people)
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: I can spend every minute of every day with this dude and not really get tired of it, we can get in the car and just drive for hours and talk and he isn't even funny and neither of us are particularly smart, so, I don't know what the hell we were even talking for. But all the comments are just like, yeah, like you don't have to be like, people deserve love, you don't have to be funny to like…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, it's just a lot of people in the comments being sweet and being like, “Oh, here's my experience,” and also just laughing at the fact that this person says, “we're not great people”
KAYLA: I love the self-awareness of like, yeah, man, we're kind of stupid. We kind of suck but like we have each other and that's great.
[00:30:00]
SARAH: Also, I feel like this person is probably inflating their weaknesses
KAYLA: Sure, yes
SARAH: Because of insecurity whatever blah blah blah.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But… not this reply that says, “I will continue to be worse in the hopes of I find… of finding someone worser”
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: Great
KAYLA: I also, you know, going along with the fact that maybe they aren't great people, I love that not great people are finding each other because there's nothing worse than a really great person dating…
SARAH: Exactly
KAYLA: Or being friends with a very mediocre person, that's so annoying
SARAH: Exactly
KAYLA: They deserve each other
SARAH: They deserve each other. Anyway, that was it
KAYLA: I love that, great
SARAH: Give me another number
KAYLA: Have we done five?
SARAH: I described this one as men are made of raw angel hair pasta
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Oh, I included a second link for this but the second link no longer exists, dumb. Okay, this is from ‘true off my chest.’ I think I destroyed our relationship trying to compliment my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I are both 28 years old and together for two and a half years, yesterday night we were drinking and one thing led to another and I tried to compliment him by saying he is not someone who I would hookup with or be a friend with benefits with but marry. I thought everything was fine but he seemed extremely distraught after that. I realized how he understood it and tried to clarify it but he is still the same this morning, he told me he needs space to think for a while and left the house. All my friends tell me I messed it up and guys tell me it's not a compliment and most men will understand it differently, I think I destroyed our relationship and I'm panicking right now.
KAYLA: I feel like if your relationship ends after a comment like that...
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: You know, I can understand
SARAH: It was not meant to be
KAYLA: Yeah, I understand how someone could take offense to that, but if you are not able to talk that out
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Then I don't think it was meant to be
SARAH: And the implication is not like… it's not I don't find you sexually attractive, it's…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I don't find you only sexually attractive.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: I see more in you than you being a hook-up.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: And he is mad about it.
KAYLA: To me that's a compliment, I don’t know
SARAH: Exactly. This person says, “she's literally complimenting him as a boyfriend by saying he's marriage material and he's seemingly freaking out because he wants to think he's a fuck boy, that's a him problem”
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean that is… I mean, do you think he's maybe… I mean because what? They're 28, they've been together for two years, so that's when you get to the point in your life when things are a little more serious.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So maybe he didn't quite realize what kind of situation he was in and he's freaking out a little bit, that's…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Not where he is in his life right now
SARAH: People are talking about men saying modern women don't even care about good partners anymore, they just want hookups and then in this instance women saying, I take you more seriously than a hookup and would like to marry you even and then men saying no
KAYLA: Can't have it all
SARAH: But clearly these two people are looking for different things out of a relationship.
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean if we can't sit down and have a conversation about something like that, not even saying that it has to be resolved right away, you know, this could be a lingering thing for him, that's fine, but like if this is something he wants to get that upset about, then I don't know what to say
SARAH: Yeah, okay, I went to the original post because I found it through a quote and there's a lot of men and their replies
KAYLA: Great
SARAH: Because the person who posted this was like, “men know modern will women value hookups over boyfriends.” So, it's a bunch of people agreeing and these people are saying that she basically told him that he is not sexually attractive
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: And that… and that the connection between them is maybe not mutual like maybe she's settling, what? How did we get that?
KAYLA: I don’t think she said that at all.
SARAH: How did we get that out of that?
KAYLA: Also, I just don't… I don't know, this is like the demi in me but I'm also like, I would rather be with someone that I'm… Like if I had to pick between being more sexually attracted to someone and more emotionally attracted to someone
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like if I couldn't have them be 50-50, you know, I would go towards more emotional attraction because in the long run that's…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: More important
SARAH: This person, this pretending to quote… pretending to be a woman being like, I've let other men use me and I would never let you use me, I would rather use you instead
KAYLA: Hello
SARAH: What… what about this implies that she does do a lot of hookups and a lot of sleeping around? That is not… there's no context for that in this story
KAYLA: Also, how is marrying someone using them?
SARAH: For their money?
KAYLA: I don't think this person understands anything
SARAH: This person says, “one is a wallet and a friend and the other is an eggplant emoji and a good time, nobody wants to be the default after you had your fun and homegirl basically told him that.”
KAYLA: I don't understand anything these people are saying
SARAH: All these people are generally, genuinely believing like, oh, she's settling for him, it's like, what the fuck are you talking about?
KAYLA: Well, it's also very clear what they think the role of a boyfriend or husband is
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Which is nothing good
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I hate that
SARAH: Yeah, and then all these people… I went back to the quote and this person goes, “oh dear, you are going to struggle with men if you don't see where she messed up, having those two categories in your head and separating them is a get out of my car level of red flag.” OP responds, “LMAO, I am literally a dude. I just actually listen to women”
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: This person goes, “instead of having a public temper tantrum, why don't you try learning how men think?” and they go… respond, “I am literally a straight man.”
KAYLA: I just feel as though I cannot relate to people who think of relationships in this way, like I feel like there's a very specific type of person, a very specific type of man and woman who view relationships in this way and I feel like there's a lot of women who will talk about like, you know, well, boys will be boys, so, you have to talk to them in a certain way and like cater to this, whatever, and it's like, no, no.
SARAH: You know, this person says, “let's break it down simple to you, she doesn't see him as a breathing sex toy,” which I guess they're being as a positive thing in this situation
KAYLA: I don’t know
SARAH: “But as a walking ATM instead.”
KAYLA: Where are people getting these?
SARAH: Where? Well, this person responded and said, “you should call your mom.”
KAYLA: Yeah. That is just such a wild leap to make
SARAH: There's this other reply that says, “women get mad at men for mansplaining and then make womensplaining a man's feeling a viral meme.” The guy responds, “it's fine, I'm a man, so it's still mansplaining.”
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: OP is goated, I’ll give him that
KAYLA: I love that
SARAH: Give me another one
KAYLA: One
SARAH: One, this one is wild. Hmm, wife won't let me see my dying ex.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: I went no-contact with my ex after we got married. I was recently contacted by my ex's sister because she, the ex, has cancer that's terminal, she's in hospice. Her sister explained to me that one of my ex's wishes was to talk to me face to face… face to face for something important, they both insisted that it had to be done in person. She wouldn't explain what it was because she said that she didn't even know. I told my wife about this and she told me…
KAYLA: Secret baby
SARAH: I told my wife about this and she told me absolutely not I cannot visit her, I understand her feelings about this but this person is quite literally dying
KAYLA: Yeah, what's there to worry about?
SARAH: We have come to a decision and I don't know what's the best thing to… We have… I think it's supposed to say, we have yet to come to a decision and I don't know what is the best thing to do, I'm asking here and I want to know how other people feel about it
KAYLA: Um, I think you should go see the dying person who's dying wish is to see you. Like it's not like… I don't I understand people being worried about exes in some situations I suppose of a worry of you know, someone going back to them or cheating and stuff like that, but this woman is dying, she's not going to steal your husband
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: She's in hospice, she's not…
SARAH: You think he's going to roll up and she's going to be like, “my dying wish is to have sex with you ex, I'm in hospice”
KAYLA: And what if they did? Here… and what if they did have sex one time? You know what I mean? Like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It's not like it's going to be an ongoing thing
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: She's dying.
SARAH: It's also just like, why did you go no-contact? Like what… you know?
KAYLA: Well, it's… it is… it is very interesting to me that they went no-contact after they got married it makes me think it was a… the wife
SARAH: Yeah, there's… there's a reply that says, “no-contact after marriage but not while dating or engaged makes me wonder if there's more to the story on why the wife hates this ex so much”
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean that's very fair I think, unless this wife is just completely irrational, you would hope that there's some sort of reason why she would be so against him seeing someone that’s dying
SARAH: Yeah. This other person says, “I'm confused why his ex is dying wish to see your ex-boyfriend that she has been no-contact with for years.” But I think if you're dying and you… there's something that you want closure on
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean… yeah, I don't fault the ex in any way, she's dying, I think dying people get to ask for what they want.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like if that's something that's going to make her more comfortable then
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: Whatever, now, I want to know what she… what the secret was.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I think, here are some options, I think a secret baby.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: She got pregnant by him long ago and never told him, she still loves him or she's like, I don't love you anymore, be free.
[00:40:00]
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: You know?
SARAH: Yeah. I don't see the harm in it.
KAYLA: I don't either unless there's some wild thing that happened in the past
SARAH: Right. It's… it is better to know what she wants to say than spend the rest of your life not knowing
KAYLA: Because then… Right, because if not even the sister knows.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: You may never find out and then you have to live for the rest of your life wondering what that was
SARAH: What the fuck was it?
KAYLA: And that seems torturous.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because I can't even live right now without knowing what it was and I'm not involved
SARAH: Yeah. All right. Give me one more
KAYLA: Um, um, seven
SARAH: You already… you already asked for seven
KAYLA: Eight
SARAH: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Mm, yeah, okay
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: This one is an AITA, congrats everyone, we found one
KAYLA: Okay, we did it
SARAH: Am I the asshole for pinching my husband's nipple as hard as I could? All right
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: My husband and I have a nine-month-old daughter
KAYLA: Okay, I can see where this is going and no, you're not the asshole, continue
SARAH: She's breastfed, she currently has four teeth coming in at once, she has been biting the absolute fuck out of me when nursing at least three to four times a day. A few days ago she made me bleed, my husband thinks it's hilarious despite seeing me an absolute excruciating pain
KAYLA: No
SARAH: When I get pissed off and stop a nursing session and walk off, he says things like, “she's just a baby” using baby talk and following me with the baby…
KAYLA: No
SARAH: And says things like, “oh, no is mama mad at the poor baby? It's not the poor baby's fault. Is it sweetie?” Every time I walk away, this… it happens every time she walks away, usually follows it up with, “oh, how can mama be mad at you? Who can be mad at that face?” and for clarification, I am not pissed at my daughter, she is a baby and she is teething
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But he is a grown-ass man who finds his wife's extreme pain to be hilarious. This has been going on for nearly a month, she got two teeth prior to this and the same thing happened. Every single time she bites me he starts laughing. Not just a chuckle straight-up knee slap laughing. I have told him so many times to stop laughing because whenever he does, she latches on harder because she now thinks it's a game
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: He keeps saying that he will stop and that he's sorry, but it's just so funny. It has caused fights, because there's literally nothing funny about me being in this… in this much physical pain and I think he's fucked in the head to find it funny. And no he isn't like this when it comes to anything else, he really just thinks that everything our daughter does is cute or funny. So this morning we're laying in bed, I co-sleep bassinet that hooks to the bed, she bit me hard, nothing I did stopped it, I pulled her face into my breast to get her to unlatch, didn't work. I hooked my finger into her mouth to try and get her to unlatch, she bit down harder. I even flicked her cheek, obviously not hard, hoping it would startle her and make her let go, nope, she starts smiling instead
KAYLA: This baby loves to bite
SARAH: It's… it's you know that the younger sister in ;Series of Unfortunate Events?’
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: How she just bites everything.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: That's this child
KAYLA: Vampire child.
SARAH: Yeah, um, but no she starts smiling instead, why? Because my husband is sitting in bed hyena laughing…
KAYLA: No
SARAH: While watching me struggling with tears in my eyes, she finally pulled back while still biting and pulled back enough to make her… and I pulled back enough to make her unlatch, it fucking hurt. She's… he's still laughing, and I don't know what came over me but I reached over and I pinched a hold of his nipple as hard as I possibly could and I squeezed and I refused to let go until he physically slapped my hand away. I then said through gritted teeth, “I fucking told you to stop laughing when she fucking does that, do it again and I'm going to rip your goddamn nipple off.”
KAYLA: Love…
SARAH: He's now calling me a fucking psycho and says that he can't trust being around me for his own safety, that I am apparently abusive
KAYLA: Oh, okay. I fear we must have a divorce
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Because that's… No, you're not the asshole, he's the asshole and if he doesn't understand what the pain is like, because that's… pinching a nipple that hard is also I'm sure not as painful as…
SARAH: As being bit
KAYLA: Tiny teeth being in there
SARAH: Being… Little razor teeth, being bit in the nipple while you're nursing. So, like it’s…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: You're probably more sensitive in general…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Because though… and it's several times a day
KAYLA: Yeah, this is the world's worst husband I fear, that's fucked up.
SARAH: I understand being like, “oh, you know, it's my perfect child, she can never do anything wrong,” but it's like, okay, well, clearly…
KAYLA: You don’t have to laugh
SARAH: Well, clearly though like you care about this child way more than you care about your wife
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. Yeah
SARAH: You clearly have a favorite and not even in like, oh, she's my new favorite now because she's a baby, like a…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like actually I fucking hate you, your only purpose was to give me this child situation
KAYLA: It's also so weird to me that he's not like this about anything else.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It's just this, it’s so bizarre to me
SARAH: And this person said, “you know, he has taught his child that hurting mommy is funny” and this kid is too young to understand…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Why it's not, she's fucking nine months old, she doesn't understand, she just knows that it makes dad laugh and that's funny
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: It's like… it's like with a dog, when you're like…. when you… when like a dog has something dangerous in their mouth and you're trying to get it and they're like, “no, I… this is a game, this is keep-away,” and it's like no, you have a knife in your mouth, so that
KAYLA: Yeah, I just… well and because and then if that behavior continues then the kid will grow up and start understanding
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And then that's just fucked up
SARAH: Yeah. This response says, “teach the baby how funny it is to squeeze daddy's balls”
KAYLA: Yes, funny
SARAH: “The crazy wife/girlfriend trope was made up by men so they can never have to be responsible for the ways that they traumatize women”
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: So
KAYLA: Lovely
SARAH: “As a man, disrespectfully, bite his nipple off”
KAYLA: Yeah, yes
SARAH: Ugh, and the fact that he's calling her abusive
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Unfucking believable, unfucking believable. Well, there's that, sure, that we're ending it, a little bit of a downer.
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean what's there to do?
SARAH: All right, Kayla, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: I don't know
SARAH: What's the best way to remove this husband's nipples? Cheese grater?
KAYLA: Wait
SARAH: Cheese grater? Scissors? Baby teeth? Divorce?
KAYLA: Cheese grater, baby teeth, divorce
SARAH: Scissors
KAYLA: Scissors, great
SARAH: Perfect
KAYLA: Excellent. What are you doing?
SARAH: Yeah, you’re barking, I don’t know what you’re barking at, but you’re barking
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Anyway. There was a dog barking.
KAYLA: I wasn't aware
SARAH: The mic… the mic is picking it up, the people will hear it
KAYLA: All right
SARAH: So, I was… so, I was barking back
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: Okay, do we want another? That'll be the poll, there it is
KAYLA: No, that's it
SARAH: That’s it. Okay, Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: Um, my beef is I have to go into work more days a week now
SARAH: Oh, no
KAYLA: And that’s sad
SARAH: Is it because the school year is starting?
KAYLA: Yes, unfortunately
SARAH: How many days a week?
KAYLA: And also… three, but like the next two weeks it’s orientation
SARAH: I thought you already had to do three
KAYLA: For the summer we did two
SARAH: Oh, I thought it was three
KAYLA: Two in, and I'm back to three in, but orientation is soon so I'll have to be in like five days a week plus overtime
SARAH: RIP
KAYLA: Anyway, my juice is… Okay. My juice is… and go with me on this.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So, at work because orientation is coming up, we're getting a lot of like branded swag in. So, like little things to give away to students with like our logo on it or whatever. One of these things that we got is a ChapStick and it's one of those like round one like the EOS eggs we used to have back in the day
SARAH: EOS? Like it's… like it's 2012?
KAYLA: Yes, but it's not like EOS brand, it's some random, you know, bulk brand you can buy and slap your logo on, whatever. So, we got them in and the person that ordered them like left everyone one on their desk just to be like, here you go little, a present. And I opened the packaging and I opened it and sniffed it and immediately I said, “American girl doll, this smells like an American girl doll” and I was like, “why the fuck did I think that?” Because it was like vaguely plastic-y but also like had a slight like coconut scent and I was like, “what the fuck?” But I immediately was like, “this smells like an American girl doll” and I'm obsessed with it.
SARAH: This has unlocked something in my mind
KAYLA: It had, immediately, instantaneously
SARAH: Sometimes I walk outside and I'm like, “it smells like Epcot.”
KAYLA: Oh, I love that
SARAH: You know?
KAYLA: I love that. I don’t know but I wish I did
SARAH: It doesn't usually happen in California because it's like a… it's a very humid smell but…
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Anyway
KAYLA: No, I definitely… I definitely know the smell of getting out of a Florida Airport
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Like you step out of the Florida Airport for the first time.
SARAH: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
KAYLA: Anyway, I was like, “American girl dolls,” and then I realized that… I don't know if they still have it but back when we were younger one of the American girl like mascots was the little white dog named Coconut, have you ever…
SARAH: Coconut?
KAYLA: Yes.
[00:50:00]
SARAH: Yeah, my sister…
KAYLA: Yeah, we loved coconut. I realized I must have had like a coconut branded American girl doll ChapStick that smelled like coconut, like that has to be it.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I tried looking it up, I didn't really find anything, but I was like that has to be it and then I told… I was talking to my co-workers about the ChapStick and I was like, “It smells like American girl dolls” and they were like, “what the fuck is your problem?” But now I have a problem because… so, it's so bad my obsession with this ChapStick that this morning I was like, I really don't want to get going to the office, I was just so tired and I was like, “then I'll get to use my office ChapStick” because I just have it in my cube. But now I'm trying to figure out a way to like steal more of these ChapSticks because like we each got one, but I know there's a box of like thousands of them somewhere and I need more to have forever
SARAH: You just have to find the box
KAYLA: I know and then… Because then I also have my friend Laura who lives in Seattle and we often talk about American girl dolls so I was like, “I have to send her one”
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So that she can also smell it and understand.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, I'm like, I have to infiltrate this man's office and get them.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So anyway, that's my juice, it is my cubicle ChapStick
SARAH: Yeah, it's like that one girl on TikTok who loved a very specific type of Bic pen but it was only the type of Bic pen that could be mass-produced with like logos and whatever and so…
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: She was trying to… her… hers ran out of juice and so she was like, I need… I… like I need to figure out how to get… and then Bic ended up sending her an entire box of them and then also they sent her a bunch of a pen that was similar but could be bought in stores and then she actually ended up liking that one better. So perfect.
KAYLA: Oh, perfect. This is like when your orange-flavored toothpaste was going… was becoming discontinued.
SARAH: Oh my God
KAYLA: And so, you bought a bunch of orange toothpaste.
SARAH: Yeah. RIP to the orange toothpaste
KAYLA: Memories
SARAH: I now have to use regular to the base like a regular fucking freak.
KAYLA: I've started using charcoal toothpaste recently, it's wild.
SARAH: Oh. I have to use like Sensodyne, like I've used sensitive teeth toothpaste for enamel restoration
KAYLA: Enamel decay warrior.
SARAH: Yeah. Enamel erosion warrior. I have… I have a bar soap that my cousin gave to me that smells like Lemon PEZ, and she gave it to me because it smells like Lemon PEZ
KAYLA: Are you a big Lemon PEZ guy?
SARAH: I mean, I'm not… not a big Lemon Pez guy.
KAYLA: Okay. I just wasn't aware of this…
SARAH: It's just such a good smell
KAYLA: Oh, okay
SARAH: Or I recently… you know, um, do you ever hear like podcast ads for Blue Land they… they do like cleaning supplies but it's like more sustainable where they're like you get… like for the spray stuff you get a spray bottle and they give you these little
KAYLA: Pellet capsule
SARAH: Pellet capsule, pellet things and you just put them in and you mix it with water?
KAYLA: Yes, I've seen this
SARAH: And like I also got… they're like the same thing for the… for the washing machine and for… their toilet cleaner smells so good
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: And it's wild because usually like toilet cleaner like it smells like bleach and so you're like…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But it smells lemony in such a delightful way that the… that the cupboard that I keep them in now smells great
KAYLA: I love that for you.
SARAH: And I was like, “I want to eat this toilet cleaner.”
KAYLA: Do you think I could log into the account where we bulk order these swag items and I could like figure out the brand?
SARAH: Maybe, probably
KAYLA: Thinking, thinking
SARAH: Thinking, thinking
KAYLA: Much to consider
SARAH: Okay, was that your beef and your juice? Are you done?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Oh, my other… I suppose this has to be gravy, but there's two astronauts stuck in space right now
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Which I didn't know about until like two days ago, they were supposed to be there for eight days and now it has been months and they might not get to come back until next year. But I have convinced myself and the rest of my office that they are going to fall in love, so
SARAH: Yeah, Kayla told me they’ll try the rom-com version of it
KAYLA: Well, also, you know someone that works at NASA, so I was like…
SARAH: I do
KAYLA: Can you like please… like my boss asked me today, she was like, “did you hear from your NASA contact?” and I was like, “they had no information for me.”
SARAH: Oh. I didn't actually ask her
KAYLA: Sarah, I have to report to… astronauts stuck in space, because also…
SARAH: I’ll get right into it. What's your question? What's the question?
KAYLA: My question is like, “what's the deal?” Like why can't they get them?
SARAH: Kayla has heard…
KAYLA: Because also Space X is like refusing, Space X I guess could go get them but it's like, “mmm, no,” because also right now there's too many people on the International Space Station, there's only supposed to be six or seven and there's nine so there's not enough beds, which, just saying good for the…
SARAH: Exactly
KAYLA: You know
SARAH: Okay. Hold on, live, okay, pod co-host Kayla has heard about the astronauts stuck in space and wants to know from you an insider, what's the deal? Why can't you pick them?
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: I should text that
KAYLA: Because it was this week that we found out they might not come back till next year and they haven't, when I had read about it, they had not heard from the astronauts how they were feeling about that
SARAH: Mm, easy. All right
KAYLA: Got to check in
SARAH: Well, my beef is that the Seventeen tour won't have Jeonghan or Jun and also, I don't have a friend group, like at all. And um my juice is that I got tickets to see Seventeen in LA and when I say tickets I mean ticket because I'm going by myself because I have friends but I don't have a friend group. Anyway… what? That's it.
KAYLA: I love that. Also, when Sarah first told me… when she first told me that she got Seventeen tickets I was like, “17 tickets, to what?”
SARAH: To what
KAYLA: And the I said, “oh,”
SARAH: Imagine… but… okay, Kayla, I don't have 16 friends, that’s the problem
KAYLA: I don't know why anyone would buy 17 tickets to anything.
SARAH: You can't… you can't buy more than six.
KAYLA: I imagine, what are you going to do?
SARAH: I feel like one of the reasons why I like K-pop at least especially the groups where like they're actually like very close with each other, because you can like kind of tell when it's real and when it's not
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: Um, is that it's like, you get to vicariously live through these people who have a whole big group of friends, imagine
KAYLA: That’s a lot of… that’s a lot of people
SARAH: As adults! Can you believe it?
KAYLA: Who would have thought?
SARAH: Anyway, you can tell us about your beef, your juice, your sadness about Jeonghan and Jun not being in the Seventeen tour on our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Reminder that if you're a patron and you pay via the app don't, just don't, for your own financial benefit
KAYLA: Just don’t do it, just don’t do it
SARAH: We have some $5 patrons who we're going to promote this week and they are Brooke Siegel, Jiro the Wolf, Chris Lauretano, Cinnamon Toast Punch and Colleen Walsh. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Celina Dobson who would like to promote The Critical Role Foundation, Clare Olsen who bumped up from a $5 patron and would like to promote Impact_Frame on Twitter and they do character art and short animation commissions, fun. David Harris who would like to promote the Cradle book series by Will Wight and Derick & Carissa who would like to promote supporting each other through the transitions we face like for example when one of the members of your group has to start his military service and miss the world tour. What? Um, our other $10 patrons are Elle Bitter, my Aunt Jeannie, Kayla’s dad, Maff, Martin Chiesl, Parker, Purple Hayes, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm, Val, Alastor, Alyson, Ani, Arcnes, Benjamin Ybarra and Bones. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Andrew Hillum who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Hector Murillo who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, in a group. Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla’s Aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggartart.com and Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are Dragonfly, Dr. Jacki and my mom who would like to promote Dr. Jacki being Dr. Jacki and also the abolition of mandatory military service. Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]
