Sounds Fake But Okay
Sounds Fake But Okay
Ep 325: Hallmark Christmas Movies
Hey what's up hello! This week we're TOGETHER coming at you live from Kayla's hometown. We talk all about Hallmark Christmas movies from an aspec perspective.
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/hallmark-christmas-movies
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SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I'm Sarah, that's me.)
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual girl, (that's me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, ‘Hallmark Christmas Movies.’
SARAH: Sounds Fake… Wait.
KAYLA: Ah!
SARAH: Wait!
KAYLA: Ah!
SARAH: Are you ready?
KAYLA: Yes.
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay
KAYLA: I'm pretty sure every time, in the last however long we haven’t lived together, every time we record together, that's what it sounds like, it’s…
SARAH: Five years. I mean, I guess we've been doing it…
KAYLA: We've been doing the podcast for like six…
SARAH: Seven.
KAYLA: Seven.
SARAH: But we've been doing it separate from each other far longer than we ever were.
KAYLA: I know, isn't that sad?
SARAH: Yeah. Weird.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Anyway, welcome back to the pod!
KAYLA: Together.
SARAH: Live and in concert.
KAYLA: And it feels so good. How does it…
SARAH: Reunited.
KAYLA: Reunited. Hello.
SARAH: We are sitting next to each other.
KAYLA: In my parents' living room.
SARAH: Hell yeah.
KAYLA: Can you believe it? They have baby pictures of me.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. I'm looking at one right now.
KAYLA: I have straight blonde hair. It's very odd.
SARAH: Uh-huh. Very good.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. Our book is right there, staring at us.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: There's newspapers with our face on it upstairs.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And my face is with me.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: I keep it with me all the time.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Great. And also, we're sitting such that… fun fact about Sarah. Her left… my… why am I talking in the third person? My left eye, the left one, it just doesn't turn out all the way.
KAYLA: What's it called?
SARAH: Dwayne syndrome?
KAYLA: Dwayne.
SARAH: Dwayne. I'm very rare. I'm special.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: But I'm sitting on the right of Kayla so every time I look at her she gets cross… She gets… She gets cross-eyed Sarah.
KAYLA: I get Dwayneed.
SARAH: Yeah. She gets Dwayneed. So, just a fun experience for us all
KAYLA: Yeah. But you would never know that from pictures because Sarah makes sure that she's on…
SARAH: I always make sure I'm standing on the correct side.
KAYLA: On the good side so, no one gets Dwayneed.
SARAH: I can't let them get Dwayneed.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I always get very self-conscious if I'm like getting a meal with someone for the first time because I can't be like, “hey, excuse me, don't sit in that seat, I'd like to sit in that seat so that I'm not Dwayneing you”
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But then I'm like thinking about how I'm Dwayneing them all the time.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Anyway, that's not the point. How is everyone?
KAYLA: I'm good.
SARAH: If you're American, did you have a good Thanksgiving?
KAYLA: Did you eat the good food? Did you avoid your family members that are annoying?
SARAH: Did you fist fight your Trumper family members?
KAYLA: We have not had Thanksgiving, either of us, yet at the time of recording this.
SARAH: Yeah, so only time will tell.
KAYLA: Uh huh
SARAH: Uh. Great. Do we have any housekeeping?
KAYLA: We haven't decided when we're taking Christmas break yet.
SARAH: Nope.
KAYLA: But we'll… and so we'll get back to you on that.
SARAH: It'll happen.
KAYLA: Sarah did end up downloading the screw game.
SARAH: I did.
KAYLA: I know there was a lot of questions in the Discord about…
SARAH: I did end up downloading the screw game and as expected, it's like not as good.
KAYLA: No, it's not… the ads… I don't actually know how it's legal because there are laws against ads being like false advertising.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And so, I don't actually know how it's legal because the ads never are actually how the game works.
SARAH: Yeah. I don't know.
KAYLA: I will say the house screw ad did pop up for me the other day and I did play it for a little bit and I failed.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It's hard.
SARAH: Yeah, it's hard.
KAYLA: I don't think it's passable.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I think it's impossible on purpose...
SARAH: I don't think so either.
KAYLA: So that you download the app.
SARAH: Yeah. Anyway.
KAYLA: So. And what's it called? People were wondering. What's your screw… Because I also have a screw game but it's different from that one.
SARAH: It's called Screw Away 3D Pin Puzzle.
KAYLA: Mine is just called Screw Pin and it's not… like yours is like 3D, you know?
SARAH: Uh huh.
KAYLA: And mine's just not.
SARAH: I see.
KAYLA: Mine's called Screw Pin Jam Puzzle. But I've started getting really annoyed with it. It's so hard.
SARAH: See, I get a lot of these weird ones where it's…
KAYLA: That's ugly.
SARAH: This appears to be a hamster.
KAYLA: Oh, it's moving.
SARAH: Yeah, it's like…
KAYLA: Oh! Oh, 3D.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You see, mine is just…
SARAH: But I like it better when it's like a building.
KAYLA: Flat.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Maybe I should try yours, that sounds more fun than mine.
SARAH: This is really good radio.
KAYLA: Mm hmm.
SARAH: Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week we're talking about holiday, like Hallmark style holiday films.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: How to describe, there are… okay. There is, in America, I don't… I guess, I don't know how to export them, but there is the Hallmark channel.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Hallmark is like a brand that does like greeting cards and like…
SARAH: I was next to a real Hallmark store the other day.
KAYLA: We have one. I guess I don't know if it's still in business.
SARAH: And I was like,” a real Hallmark store in late 2024?”
KAYLA: That's where I used to buy my Webkinz, was from the Hallmark store next to the Kroger down the street.
SARAH: Yeah, good.
KAYLA: So, I don't really know how they started… how or why they started making movies, but they make a lot of… all year round they make very low budget, very… what's the word? Like systematic, very like…
SARAH: Very… like plug and play.
KAYLA: Yeah, they all follow like the same storyline. What’s the…
SARAH: They also have TV series, but not as many.
KAYLA: Yes. I feel like they're most known for their movies.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But their most popular ones, it usually comes around Christmas time, and they all follow the same kind of format.
SARAH: Formula.
KAYLA: Formula, yes. And they're very low budget. Usually, they're like actors that were big 20 years ago or like were child stars.
SARAH: They're all shot in Vancouver.
KAYLA: And they look bad, like the graphics of it usually look bad.
SARAH: Yeah. I used to work for someone who…
KAYLA: Oh my god, yeah.
SARAH: Who made a lot of them.
KAYLA: That was just his…
SARAH: Yeah, that was like his…
KAYLA: His whole vibe.
SARAH: And I also know the people who… well, I don't like know them personally, but I have been in meetings with the people who like pull the trigger in all these things.
KAYLA: Wow. So traditionally they're from the Hallmark channel, like the Hallmark production company.
SARAH: There's also like Lifetime…
KAYLA: Yes, Lifetime
SARAH: Movies that are in that same realm, but Lifetime… I feel like Lifetime is less associated with Christmas, whereas Hallmark is like Christmas.
KAYLA: Yes. But recently Netflix has started getting into the game, in the past five years maybe?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Where they will also make the same genre of just like rom-com
SARAH: Even Hulu too.
KAYLA: Really?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: The one with Kristen Stewart.
KAYLA: Oh yeah, but that one seemed more high-budget to me.
SARAH: It was, but it was still like a one-off Christmas streaming.
KAYLA: Yeah. That's true. I guess I just didn't put it in the same category as like the Hallmark style.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But yes, that's true. So, the reason I thought of… to talk about this is because, so now Netflix is really in the game. They've been putting out a couple every year. They've had some excellent ones.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: The Princess Switch series, I think there's four movies now.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I don't know if you've seen those before.
SARAH: I haven't seen them, but I'm familiar.
KAYLA: But they're with Vanessa Hudgens. Oh yeah, because you know the person who made this
SARAH: Yeah, at my old job
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: One of our clients was one of the writers of the Princess Switch series.
KAYLA: I think they're based on like books, but it's Vanessa Hudgens and she finds out she has this twin that looks just like her, but she's a princess and then Vanessa Hudgens is normal. And then in the subsequent movies, there's like a triplet.
SARAH: There's like another one
KAYLA: There’s like four of them in the end
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And they all have wild personalities. They're so good, cannot recommend enough. And when I say good…
SARAH: Yeah, like bad
KAYLA: About all, I want you to know throughout this episode, when I say that these movies are good, know that they are empirically bad, but it's like when you watch The Room.
SARAH: But so enjoyable.
KAYLA: It’s so enjoyable.
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: Anyway, the reason I thought of this episode was because one of the… okay, I think both big Netflix movies that came out this year, or there's a couple that Netflix put out this year, the two biggest ones, in my opinion, there is one called Mary Gentlemen, where this woman is a Broadway star and I've seen this one, okay? And I want to walk you through this, Sarah, because I was screaming at the television
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: Because that's the most enjoyable way to watch these movies. This woman is on Broadway. She's supposed to be a Rockette, but they're called the Jingle Bells in this movie.
SARAH: Okay. Yeah.
KAYLA: And they show shots of this woman and these dancers they hired dancing, and they are very poor dancers. They are supposed to be the Rockettes and in the movie, it's like this big deal, like she has been dreaming her whole life of being in the Jingle Bells, aka the Rockettes.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And when I tell you that I could teach my most clumsy friend this choreography in an hour.
SARAH: Yeah, it's like, get some body doubles.
KAYLA: Right. It doesn't have… because she's also supposed to be the main one. She was standing in the middle, dressed fancier and giving nothing.
SARAH: Okay, here's the thing. I understand like from a budgetary standpoint, like that's difficult. Here's what you need to do. How many dance scenes do you have? How many days can you shoot your dance scene?
KAYLA: One.
SARAH: One? Okay, one day. You need one body double.
KAYLA: I know
SARAH: You need one body double.
KAYLA: That's what I'm saying. Because… and even the backup dancers that they hired, I was like, you could have hired ex-Rockettes.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It didn't have to be this way.
SARAH: You could have hired… I mean.
KAYLA: They could have hired people that can actually dance, but they didn't.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So anyway, the plot of the movie is this woman is in the Rockettes and she gets fired. So she goes back to her hometown, because that's always what happens in these movies is the big city person goes back to the hometown
SARAH: Uh huh
KAYLA: And she finds that her parents' bar that they've owned her whole life is failing. And so, to bring it back to life, she's going to start a male strip show
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: It's called a male review. And the main guy is Chad Michael Murray and they put him in the worst wig of all time. And he's like a carpenter, but then he joins the stripping show
[00:10:00]
SARAH: Wow
KAYLA: And then, you know, they fall in love. But then the Rockettes want her back and then she almost leaves and then she doesn't because, of course.
SARAH: Of course, yeah
KAYLA: So anyway, that's one of them, which… a male stripper, insane.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: The other one
SARAH: Hot Frosty
KAYLA: It's called Hot Frosty.
SARAH: It stars Dustin Milligan, who you may know of Schitt's Creek fame.
KAYLA: Yeah, Ted from Schitt's Creek and Gretchen Wieners from Mean Girls, who features in a lot…
SARAH: Ooh, that is Gretchen Wieners
KAYLA: She does a lot of Hallmark Christmas movies. This is not her first.
SARAH: Does she live in Vancouver?
KAYLA: Great question. This is like her whole life now is these movies, which is a little unfortunate.
SARAH: I mean, you make money.
KAYLA: You do.
SARAH: It's a good way to make money.
KAYLA: I just feel bad because like the other, like Amanda Seyfried and Rachel McAdams
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And Lindsay Lohan did so much more after Mean Girls and she is stuck in… she's in Anastasia?
SARAH: I just want to know if she lives in Vancouver.
KAYLA: Okay, well anyway, while you look that up…
SARAH: Business Ventures.
KAYLA: So, this woman…
SARAH: Her first ready-to-wear collection for HSN was released in March 2024.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: Is she a Republican?
KAYLA: She's doing fine… Oh.
SARAH: I'm just…
KAYLA: Just asking. Yeah, she’s done 30 Hallmark Channel films.
SARAH: It's because she has an exclusive multi-deal film with Hallmark Channel's parent company Crown Media.
KAYLA: But now she's in a Netflix one.
SARAH: Well, that was as of February ’22, they could have not re-upped it.
KAYLA: But also, there's a lot of Hallmark movies on Netflix now. They've been putting Hallmark brand movies on Netflix, so I don't know if they have some kind of deal or what.
SARAH: Yeah, they probably do.
KAYLA: Okay, anyway, listen, this woman is sad for Christmas because that's… the woman is always sad for Christmas.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: And her mom gives her this scarf, I've not seen this one, by the way. I am itching to watch it.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I'm so excited to watch it.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But I haven't yet. But this woman is sad. Her mom gives her this scarf. She puts the scarf on this, not just like a round, like three ball snowman
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: But like someone sculpted a hot ab man out of snow.
SARAH: Yeah, like sculpted
KAYLA: And she puts a scarf on him and it turns him into a man, Ted from Schitt's Creek.
SARAH: Yes
KAYLA: And then it's kind of like an elf situation where he's like, I'm a snowman and everyone's like, you're wild.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And also, the guy who works in the warehouse from the office and Boyle from… Doyle? Boyle? From Brooklyn Nine-Nine are the two cops in this movie who are like, what is your fucking deal?
SARAH: Boyle?
KAYLA: Doyle
SARAH: Craig Robinson is, he plays, he's the guy that…
KAYLA: He's a warehouse guy in the office.
SARAH: I'm trying to think of what his character is in Brooklyn Nine-Nine. He's…
KAYLA: Oh, he's…
SARAH: He's Doug Judy.
KAYLA: Doug Judy. Yes
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And then like Jake's best friend in Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
SARAH: Yeah, but like he's like a criminal, but he's also like kind of like…
KAYLA: Yeah, no, I mean the other one.
SARAH: What? Who's Jake's… Oh, Joe Truglio, isn't it? Okay.
KAYLA: Yes. He's the other cop.
SARAH: Yeah. That is Boyle.
KAYLA: Boyle. Anyway, nothing matters. The point is, is they turn him into this like super-hot, like abs for days, man. And then I assume they fall in love
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But it's called Hot Frosty and everyone's freaking out about it. It has a higher Rotten Tomatoes score than Gladiator 2, which came out on the same weekend, which is fucking hilarious.
SARAH: It's at 85% on Rotten Tomatoes. Now Metacritic and IMDb are more at the 52, 54.
KAYLA: Right. Because again, it's going to be an empirically bad movie that is highly enjoyable because it's going to follow the same.
SARAH: Yeah. Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Anyway, I can't wait to watch it. Also, I will say between this and the stripper one, I don't know if they let these men eat or drink water because the… at like…
SARAH: The definition?
KAYLA: The definition is like, because from what I understand, people that want to like have definition in their abs, they like don't drink water for 12 hours before shooting or whatever so that there's like no water in their body.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So, I'm like, what? Did they let these men do anything?
SARAH: Yeah. I would also like to be clear that Hallmark comes out with about 40 new Christmas movies a year.
KAYLA: I love that.
SARAH: Per year.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So, they have a whole system going. I just looked up the writer of this.
KAYLA: The Hot Frosty?
SARAH: Yeah. So, he wrote… he has two Christmas movies in pre… one in pre-production and one in post for next year. He did the teleplay, but he didn't write another Christmas movie. He did the Santa Summit in Merry Measure. And then four years before that he did Web of Lies, which was I'm assuming just like another Hallmark TV movie, but not a Christmas one. And that's… those are his only credits.
KAYLA: That's so wild. That's his whole vibe. And that's again, why they're so low budget is because they make 40 of them
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And they make them and they look shitty and then they don't spend money on them.
SARAH: The reason they shoot them all in Canada is because it's cheaper. They can get tax credits. That's why most of them are in Vancouver and the acting pool in Vancouver is not… there are… to be clear, because we shoot our show in Vancouver.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: There are very good actors in Vancouver.
KAYLA: They’re just not as expensive.
SARAH: They're just… well, there's just not as many of them.
KAYLA: Oh, I see
SARAH: Like there are just aren't as many options.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Like once you get a couple of seasons into a show, you start having this problem where you've used up all of your actors.
KAYLA: Running out of actors. That's like how it is in the UK is like everyone makes jokes about every BBC show has the same five actors because they start running out.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Anyway, all of this to say, I just think the phenomenon of the Hallmark Christmas movie rom-com is very interesting because I am an aspec person, as are you. You live in a city.
SARAH: And so do I.
KAYLA: And so do I. But do you like them? I love them. Thoughts?
SARAH: I don't like watch them, but I have in the past been like, I should write one.
KAYLA: I really wish you would. I really wish you would.
SARAH: Because like…
KAYLA: Because you even know who to send it to.
SARAH: Yeah. And there's, you know, there's, they do 40 of them a year.
KAYLA: Yeah. It can't be that hard.
SARAH: And that's just on Hallmark.
KAYLA: True.
SARAH: So maybe I will.
KAYLA: I really wish you would. But anyway, I just find them so fascinating because they really do follow the same exact formula
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Every single time. It's always a rom-com.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I've never seen one that's not…
SARAH: Because it needs… it's light, it's light fare.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: You don't want it to be like heavy, because it's Christmas.
KAYLA: Right. And they're all usually like an hour and a half.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And it doesn't… like, yes, the, it is very light because you know exactly what's going to happen next.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. It's comfort food television.
KAYLA: And the conflict lasts, max, five minutes.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Like you’re not sitting there in distress being like, oh, will they, won't they like, like don't worry.
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: There's no time for conflict or for like miscommunication, drama
SARAH: That lasts very long.
KAYLA: Like when we were watching Merry Gentlemen, they had a slight miscommunication that literally lasted one minute. And I was like, in another movie, that would be half the movie.
SARAH: That would be half the movie.
KAYLA: But in this one, they like, we, they don't have time.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So, they like figure it out and move on. And I was like, that's actually great.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Because now I'm not stressed out.
SARAH: Yeah. But… the internet says that they get more than 80 million people tune into a Hallmark movie during the holiday season. So total.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: They generate an estimated 350 million in ad revenue. They're relatively cheap to produce with budgets often under 2 million. So yeah, that is very cheap
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: For context because I know that to other people like that sounds like a lot of money. A $2 million episode of TV.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Is a cheap episode of TV.
KAYLA: Well, good. Yeah. And you think about it, just the salary of paying everyone alone, not like sets, costumes, everything else.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So then when you think about, okay, this is a movie, it's longer than an episode of TV. It's twice as long as an episode of TV.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And it's still at the $2 million price point.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And also, if you have a Dustin Milligan, you got to pay him more. He's not making scale on this.
KAYLA: Well, I would guess that the Netflix ones have more budget than the Hallmark ones.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Or maybe Hallmark puts out five that are high budget a year that bring people in and then the rest are just like, whatever.
SARAH: Hot Snowman budget.
KAYLA: Hot Frosty.
SARAH: Oh, sorry. Hot Frosty.
KAYLA: Please.
SARAH: We don't have information.
KAYLA: I have to imagine though, the Netflix ones are much higher budget because you think about like the Princess Switch, all of those.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: They looked good.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like the visuals looked so much better than the Hallmark’s
SARAH: Yeah, also, the Hot Frosty has Joe Truglio, Craig Robinson, like Dustin Milligan. Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Let me see Princess Switch budget.
KAYLA: That has to be high.
SARAH: 10. 10 million.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Because that's the thing is you can tell the Hallmark ones are low budget just by looking.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Just by looking. They look like they're made on a home camcorder.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Which I love.
SARAH: But they're not. They're made on a very expensive camera.
KAYLA: Which is hilarious. Which is very funny. Um…
SARAH: But like it's good work for like… like people… there are people in Vancouver who like just bounce from like Hallmark movie to Hallmark movie and they make a living off of that.
KAYLA: And it's probably… yeah, it's probably incredibly stable, you know what you're getting into the whole time. It's probably the most stable work in show business.
SARAH: I mean, it's hard because it's not a series, like a series would be more stable, but a series has to get renewed every year.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Whereas this… it's like, you know, there's going to be…
KAYLA: There’s always going to be 40 every year
SARAH: There's always going to be another…
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: There's always going to be another Christmas.
KAYLA: Yeah. What do we think of these from an aspec perspective?
SARAH: I would like to see them with more nuance, which is why…
KAYLA: Well, there is no time for that
SARAH: Which is why I should write one.
KAYLA: Yeah. But how are you going to get nuance if they're so short?
SARAH: They're an hour and a half, that's how long all movies used to be.
KAYLA: I guess that's true.
SARAH: That's how long all movies used to be. It can be done.
KAYLA: Okay. The problem though, is that once you add a certain amount of nuance, it's out of genre, which is how you get like the Kristen Stewart one that has more nuance and I don't think was in genre anymore.
[00:20:00]
SARAH: Yeah. That is the difficult thing as well with… I don't want to speak out of turn. How… so I'm not going to say anything specific, but you all know that I know things that are more inside baseball on this topic.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And Hallmark is not willing to take the risks
KAYLA: Yeah, of course not
SARAH: That a Netflix or Hulu might be willing to take.
KAYLA: True.
SARAH: And like, they know what they want, they know who their audience is, and if anything goes too far outside of that, they have 10 other scripts in the pipeline that they could make instead.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So, like, if I were to write one of these, first of all, I would, to be honest, I would rather it go to a Netflix or Hulu
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Because I… apologies to Hallmark, but I would… I think that the quality would be a little bit better
KAYLA: Yes, obviously.
SARAH: But Hallmark knows their brand and they know what they're doing and you gotta respect that.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: But like, they would probably not want it as much as a Netflix or Hulu would
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: But like, Netflix or Hulu are also getting six billion submissions on this as well.
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: I think, I mean, I would just love some more nuance. I would make more gay ones. Like Jingle. Jingle is single all the way. What is that one?
KAYLA: Jingle?
SARAH: Jingle all the way.
KAYLA: Oh, I don't know her
SARAH: It's from a couple of years ago.
KAYLA: Oh, okay.
SARAH: My sister-in-law really likes it and makes my sister watch it every year.
KAYLA: Great.
SARAH: I've never seen it, but like that one is apparently like good and it's gay and people are like, yeah, let's watch it.
KAYLA: Yeah. I mean, there's no reason, like the standard Hallmark format…
SARAH: The formula works just fine with gay people.
KAYLA: It works for everything. Yes. I definitely agree with that. There is no reason not to just throw gay couples in there.
SARAH: And a lot of it's like small town stuff, but it's like, okay, you don't have to make it about homophobia. You could do a Schitt's Creek
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: And just have that not be an issue there.
KAYLA: Also, I will say, they always say it's in a small town and then because they're shooting in Vancouver, I'm sure you look at the like the Merry Genntleman one, they were like this small town with nothing going on and then they shoot outside on a street. And I said, “brother.”
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That's a city.
SARAH: They probably shoot it mostly in Langley and Surrey.
KAYLA: It was just so silly, they were like, there's nothing to do in this town.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Brother.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You don't know a town with nothing to, we're currently sitting in one and it doesn't look like that.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Um, but yeah, I agree. There's no excuse not to have gayness. I understand that asking for aspec representation would be…
SARAH: It is a whole other stuff
KAYLA: Is a full long way away
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because I think first you would have to get to a cultural point where you do not have to explain aspec identities in the movie because there isn't time for that.
SARAH: I think… here's the thing. I don't think we will be at that cultural moment for a very long time.
KAYLA: Agreed
SARAH: And so, I think you have to find a way to do it.
KAYLA: Yeah, that’s fair
SARAH: You just have to figure it out because like, I'm not waiting that long.
KAYLA: Fair. Okay. Well, how would you… how would you?
SARAH: The best way to go about it in my mind would be to not worry about the terminology.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Not worry about any of the words. Maybe you like mention them, but you do not make that the thing.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: The thing that you focus on is like the type of attraction that you do or do not experience
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And how that impacts your actions.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: I think if you start getting into… that's a nice-looking bird. Look at that one with the red hair.
KAYLA: That was a good bird.
SARAH: Anyway, sorry, birds.
KAYLA: Birds right outside.
SARAH: Right outside. If you start getting into the nitty-gritty of the terminology and being like, okay, well asexuality is this, but there are many, many different ways to be asexual and blah, blah, blah, that's an important conversation to have, but you're not going to be able to have that in a 90-minute film.
KAYLA: That’s true. I think that's often something I get caught up on is in media, I always assume that you're going to have to do the like sit down
SARAH: The TED talk?
KAYLA: But that's just not realistic and also not accurate to media.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Like most of the fiction that I've read with aspec representation, they do not do that.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: They find ways. I think the problem is I'm not a writer and so, of fiction especially, so I cannot conceptualize in my mind how to do that, but people who do that as a living, obviously they're able to figure that out and it's fine.
SARAH: Yeah. You have to do it as…
KAYLA: Like exposition
SARAH: As least upfront as possible and you weave it in
KAYLA: Yes, yeah
SARAH: And so then by the end the person's like, yeah, actually this is valid and then you're like, well boy howdy…
KAYLA: Gotcha
SARAH: Boy howdy did I get you.
KAYLA: Yes. And then they can do their own research, hopefully.
SARAH: Yeah. So, I think it's more so about that and like sure there might be like, you know, if I were to write something where the main character had the exact same experience as me, yes, that would be a stereotype of asexuality and aromanticism and whatever, but like the hope would just be that we would get more so that that wouldn't have to be the...
KAYLA: Yes, there would be more diverse representation.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But also, you could not be the main character of one of these movies because then nothing would happen.
SARAH: I mean... Ha ha ha. Well, no, actually here's a good example. There's a pilot that I'm writing, that I have been writing, that I'm rewriting, it’s been taking forever, where one of the characters is ace
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And I originally in the pilot, I have it so that they're not the main character, but like the main character is like super drunk and like hits on them and they're like, no, no, no, no.
KAYLA: No, no, no
SARAH: And originally, I had them be like, oh, it's because whatever. And then I was like, that's way too much too soon.
KAYLA: Especially for a pilot.
SARAH: It doesn't make sense. And so, I changed it so that that character is like, just kind of like putting their foot in their mouth being like, well, no, I'm not, you're very pretty, but it's like that sort of situation.
KAYLA: Which is also just much more accurate to what would happen in real life.
SARAH: Yeah. And it's also like funnier.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And then I know in the back of my head that this character is ace and if for some ungodly reason this actually became a series, that would come out as the series progressed.
KAYLA: Yes. Yeah
SARAH: And like, I know you… that is part of the problem with aspec identities is you can't have them as upfront as other queer identities.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And so, you have to really walk the line and get the balance right of like including it, but not front-loading it so much that people feel like they're being preached at.
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah, that's very true.
SARAH: So, you just nuance.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Ever met her?
KAYLA: God. Here's my pitch
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: For aspec back Hallmark movie.
SARAH: Okay. I have an idea for a thing that may or may not be in an upcoming thing. And if it is not in an upcoming thing, I intend to possibly just write it separately.
KAYLA: Yeah. It's great, by the way.
SARAH: That I think could be made into a Christmas thing.
KAYLA: Oh, for sure. Okay. So, Sarah has a real pitch, but you can't hear it because it's going to be real one day. My pitch is… okay. So, you have big city woman, obviously
SARAH: Mm-hmm, yeah
KAYLA: And what does she do?
SARAH: Her best
KAYLA: Podcast co-hosts for aspec podcast.
SARAH: Perfect.
KAYLA: And then, but then the podcast is bad after so many years. And so, it gets canceled
SARAH: By… yes, the gods of canceling podcasts because that's how podcasts work.
KAYLA: It gets… the studio doesn't pick it back up.
SARAH: The studio that's been bankrolling their podcast.
KAYLA: That is how some podcasts work.
SARAH: Some podcasts do work that way. Not us though, baby.
KAYLA: Not us though, you fund it. Okay. So, all the Patrons… it's so bad that all the Patrons drop out
SARAH: All the Patrons drop out
KAYLA: And it doesn't exist anymore. And so, she goes back home to her small town and she doesn't stay there because it sucks. That's it.
SARAH: Oh, that's it?
KAYLA: Uh
SARAH: What's her arc?
KAYLA: Oh, she realizes she was in love with her co-host the whole time.
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: Gay.
SARAH: Gay. So, then what does she do?
KAYLA: They find a new… I don’t know that gets picked up, but…
SARAH: A new venture?
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know.
SARAH: Okay. I think you have… you know, there could be something there. I think you need to think more about the arc of the main character and the emotional journey that she's going on
KAYLA: Interesting
SARAH: Because like, why does she have to go home? Why can't she stay in the big city? Because like…
KAYLA: Broke.
SARAH: Oh, but she can't find anything else to do in the city? She can't...
KAYLA: Listen, that's what happens in every Hallmark movie and you know it.
SARAH: No, but I feel like a lot of times what brings them back is a family thing. Like it's like, yes, they may have like lost their job or whatever, but like you can get away with a job
KAYLA: You know what it usually is? Is they are usually so busy that they never can come home for Christmas
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: But they lose their jobs and then their family is like, “Oh, finally.”
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You can… That's what usually happens.
SARAH: Yeah. Or it's like, I'm coming home because my grandmother has a cough, you know?
KAYLA: Exactly
SARAH: And then that's why they're back.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: It's not usually just like…
KAYLA: Just ‘cause.
SARAH: Just ‘cause.
KAYLA: Okay. Well…
SARAH: Because like, if you live in a big city, you can get another job, even if it's not the kind of job you want to have.
KAYLA: Okay, wait, no, I got it.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay. So, she goes home because her grandma has a cough.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And then her parents try to set her up with someone, but she's demisexual.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, it's just like not working and everyone was like, but he's so beautiful. How could they… what do you mean?
[00:30:00]
SARAH: Yeah. You're perfect for each other, you would rule the tiny town.
KAYLA: He’s the former quarterback of a football team
SARAH: He's the mayor
KAYLA: He’s the mayor, but she's demisexual and so she's like, no and then she realizes that she was in love with, she was demisexual in love with her best friend the whole time.
SARAH: Okay. And so, then she goes back to the big city?
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: Does the co-host live in the same big city as her?
KAYLA: I should hope so.
SARAH: Okay. Well, I'm just… it seems like you're projecting a lot on us
KAYLA: I don't know what you're talking about.
SARAH: And so, I just want to see… I just want to see where the difference is.
KAYLA: I'm a little confused why you would say that. I’m confused, what do you mean?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: I think you're projecting…
SARAH: Is that so?
KAYLA: How dare you.
SARAH: Okay. You work on that.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: Okay. Then don't.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I won't work on that.
KAYLA: I know you won't.
SARAH: Great.
KAYLA: But that's my idea.
SARAH: That's your idea. Well, you know, if we got anyone out there listening who thinks they can actually…
KAYLA: Hey.
SARAH: Who think they can actually make that work…
KAYLA: I would like to see a fan fiction.
SARAH: You could get a story by credit.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: You would get paid for that.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Like if someone else wrote it.
KAYLA: Oh, and then they made it…
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That would get like…
SARAH: You would get a story. It would be a ‘story by.’ Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay. Chop chop. Get on it.
SARAH: Great. Okay. I think… okay, because like Christmas movies are such a thing. My sister… okay, my sister-in-law really likes watching these Christmas movies and always wants to make my sister watch them, but my sister refuses to watch them until after Thanksgiving.
KAYLA: Sure.
SARAH: And so, like I was saying, like they should make Thanksgiving movies.
KAYLA: They should make them for every holiday.
SARAH: And that's… exactly, they should make them for like, we already have Halloween movies basically.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Um, they're not usually like about Halloween, but they're like, you know, spooky
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But like… and like, yes, like rom-coms will come out around Valentine's day
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: But like, why don't we have more like Easter movies?
KAYLA: Where's the Easter movies?
SARAH: Like why don't we have Yom Kippur movies?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: I mean…
KAYLA: They probably have them for all of the like Hindu holidays because Bollywood really pumps them out from what I understand.
SARAH: Yeah. Yom Kippur, it is primarily centered on atonement and repentance.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: So, it may not be the most like uplifting, but there are other Jewish holidays, like Rosh Hashanah. Rosh Hashanah, you could do some great, you do some great Rosh Hashanah movies.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Um, we could do St. Patrick's day.
KAYLA: Excellent. There was one kind of
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Lindsay Lohan is back on the scene doing Hallmark-style movies with Netflix and they did one called…
SARAH: Did you see she had a new face?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Wild.
KAYLA: Good for her, to be honest.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: She did one, I haven't watched it yet. It's called Irish Wish and she like goes to Ireland and her ex is there and then she makes an Irish wish. Oh, it's like her ex is there, but he's… no, okay. She's like there for a wedding and she like wishes that she was the bride or something.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: And so, then she wakes up the next day and she is
SARAH: She’s the bride
KAYLA: And she's like, wait, but what's happening? And it's because… and it's leprechauns or something, I don’t know
SARAH: Oh, interesting.
KAYLA: So, they did do it. They did do a St. Patrick's Day one kind of.
SARAH: Good. We need more of that.
KAYLA: Yeah, more.
SARAH: We need… I'm thinking each month, Memorial Day.
KAYLA: Fourth of July, that could be good.
SARAH: Fourth of July could be very good.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: June, we could do like the summer solstice.
KAYLA: Isn't Father's Day in June?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Father's Day.
SARAH: Um, January Martin Luther King.
KAYLA: No, let’s not
SARAH: That's not quite the same as, it's not like the uplifting…
KAYLA: Let's not do that.
SARAH: President's Day also not really uplifting because…
KAYLA: Historical romance. Historical rom-com
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: And you do one for each president.
SARAH: Um, okay. Well…
KAYLA: Maybe not each president.
SARAH: We can workshop that.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Um, August. I feel like that's when…
KAYLA: Is Labor Day in August?
SARAH: Nope. August. I feel like there are a lot of like…
KAYLA: Back to school?
SARAH: Back to school movies. But like, I feel like that's…
KAYLA: A single mom and a single dad both rushing to do their back-to-school shopping…
SARAH: Oh my god.
KAYLA: Run into each other in the Target.
SARAH: Oh my God. How romantic.
KAYLA: I'm doing it.
SARAH: I feel like that's when a lot of like the…
KAYLA: Sorry, two single dads. What am I saying?
SARAH: Like fairs.
KAYLA: Two single moms.
SARAH: Like county fairs and stuff. I feel like some of them happen in August.
KAYLA: Yeah, maybe.
SARAH: Um, September we could do Labor Day.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: October we are at Halloween
KAYLA: Halloween
SARAH: And then we have Thanksgiving then we got Christmas.
KAYLA: Perfect.
SARAH: And the Canadians can do…
KAYLA: Whatever they want.
SARAH: No, but they can do their Thanksgiving in October.
KAYLA: True.
SARAH: And then their November can be Remembrance Day.
KAYLA: No, I don't think so.
SARAH: Veterans Day movies.
KAYLA: No. I don't think so. Honestly though, actually people would eat that up because people love like a military coming home.
SARAH: They do. What’s that like, Purple Ribbon?
KAYLA: Purple heart?
SARAH: Purple heart. No, there's a movie though.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: That's like with that one girl.
KAYLA: Sandra Bullock.
SARAH: No, it's…
KAYLA: It sounds like something she would do though.
SARAH: No, it's like a Hallmark movie.
KAYLA: Okay, but Sandra Bullock would be making a Veterans Day movie.
SARAH: I hope not.
KAYLA: She would. The Blind Side? In her Blind Side era?
SARAH: In her Blind Side era, sure.
KAYLA: I'm hoping she would be smarter now.
SARAH: But in the Lord's year 2024, I hope she knows better.
KAYLA: I do too. But Blind Side era, I think she would.
SARAH: Blind Side era. What a time. Um, I can't believe it took so long for like…
KAYLA: For that to get cancelled?
SARAH: For the general public to be like, this is bad actually.
KAYLA: Well, they did a really good cover up.
SARAH: They did.
KAYLA: Also, like we were young when that came out so we didn't know.
SARAH: We were, yeah
KAYLA: If we were older
SARAH: Maybe
KAYLA: I think we would have known faster maybe.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Also, I think the guy, the athlete, they probably like, he was very quiet for a long time.
SARAH: They paid him off.
KAYLA: I'm sure they did.
SARAH: Yeah, they paid him a nice big lump sum of money.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: To be like, actually, no, I wasn't in a conservatorship. It was very good. I loved everything about this.
KAYLA: I loved it. So fucked up.
SARAH: Um, yeah, I just think every season, every month, we should have…
KAYLA: Oh my god! Pride month!
SARAH: Pride month!
KAYLA: What are we thinking?
SARAH: Oh my God. June.
KAYLA: Ace week.
SARAH: Every…
KAYLA: Aro week.
SARAH: Well, like they do, Hallmark does this like 31 days of whatever where they do a new movie every day for 31 days.
KAYLA: That is so coco bananas
SARAH: And yeah, the countdown to Christmas event, 31 new movies
KAYLA: Countdown to Christmas, that is hilarious.
SARAH: And so, I think…
KAYLA: You could do that for Pride month.
SARAH: We could do that for Pride.
KAYLA: Oh, it does need to get everyone in there, all the sexualities.
SARAH: Yeah. And also, the countdown to Christmas kicks off in mid-October.
KAYLA: What? Okay, wait, that makes way more sense that they're not releasing a movie every single day of the week. Okay. No, that does actually make sense.
SARAH: Yeah, we've got the Mistletoe Murders, which is a show, technically.
KAYLA: I do love… I watched a Hallmark murder mystery a couple of months ago, and it was awful, and I loved it.
SARAH: Let's see what they've got this year. Twas the date before Christmas, holiday crashers, scouting for Christmas, the Christmas charade, the five-year Christmas party, my sweet Austrian holiday, a carol for two, our holiday story, holiday mismatch, five gold rings, unwrapping Christmas, trivia at St. Nick's, Santa tell me, tis the season to be Irish, reason for the season, Christmas with the saints, nice. We have some…
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Some…
KAYLA: Non-white people.
SARAH: Yeah, we have some South Asian representation here. Jingle Bell Run, a novel Noel, Christmas on call, three wiser men and a boy
KAYLA: No. No.
SARAH: To have and to holiday, Christmas under the lights
KAYLA: We go back. I thought that was Gretchen Wieners.
SARAH: No. Debbie McComer's Joyfulness is Miracle, a 90s Christmas, Deck the Walls, Believe in Christmas, Holiday Touchdown, the Chiefs Love Story.
KAYLA: Okay. No, we actually have to speak about this because this is the story of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey.
SARAH: Oh my God
KAYLA: The Chiefs are working with them on this.
SARAH: Oh my God.
KAYLA: And what they're… Travis's mom, Donna Kelsey, or whatever, she's in it. I don't know if she plays herself.
SARAH: Oh my God.
KAYLA: So, this is literally the story, can you believe?
SARAH: Oh my God.
KAYLA: And this is sanctioned and co-sponsored by the Chiefs.
SARAH: That…
KAYLA: I totally forgot about this.
SARAH: Is wild.
KAYLA: Can you believe?
SARAH: Yeah, look at all that branding.
KAYLA: I know.
SARAH: That Kansas City branding.
KAYLA: If I was Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey, because obviously they had to sign off on this.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Why would you say yes to that? Because neither of them need the money. I don't care how much they're paying you.
SARAH: It looks like his mom, it's like a cameo. Like it's like a…
KAYLA: Okay. Good. I was afraid they were going to have her play herself at first, and I was like, that sucks. But can you believe they made that?
SARAH: Wow.
KAYLA: It's just an ad for the Chiefs.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It's what it is. I totally forgot about that. That is hilarious.
SARAH: They also… it's… I would hate to be the one naming these things, because first of all…
KAYLA: I was just thinking that.
SARAH: First of all, I'm really bad at naming things, but…
KAYLA: You're gonna run out.
SARAH: You're gonna… like there's 40 a year. And like sometimes if you look at people's IMDb, especially if we're looking for like crew for our show in Vancouver, and you look at their IMDb and they do whatever show, whatever show, and then there's like a handful of Christmas movies, and it's like they all have the same name.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Like my job is to write a summary of what their credits are, and so I'll do the bigger TV shows and whatever, and like…
KAYLA: Assorted Christmas movies.
SARAH: Right, like if there's a super notable Christmas movie, like if it was Princess Switch, I would do that.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But like if I need to fill up more space in their credits and they don't have more notable like TV shows, I'm like how… I pick randomly? Like…
KAYLA: Yeah. Yes.
SARAH: Okay, the finish line, but finish.
KAYLA: Finish
[00:40:00]
SARAH: A Christmas Quest, season's greeting from Cherry Lane, A Dance in the Snow, Private Princess Christmas, Sugarplum, Leah's Perfect Gift, Happy Holidays from Cherry Lane, All I Need for Christmas, Hanukkah on the Rocks
KAYLA: Okay, Hanukkah
SARAH: The Santa Class, Following Yonder Star, Deck of the Halls on Cherry Lane, a lot of Cherry Lane movies.
KAYLA: Yeah, is it like a whole series?
SARAH: I think it's a… yeah, Trading Up Christmas, and Happy Holidays.
KAYLA: I really wanted that to be a werewolf thing, it's just a stray dog.
SARAH: No
KAYLA: I got so excited. We could do… we should be doing more…
SARAH: It stars Jessica Loundis opposite the to-be-announced winner of Finding Mr. Christmas, there was a contest for this? Finding Mr. Christmas.
KAYLA: Like a game show? Oh! Oh!
SARAH: 10 men compete in a series of festive challenges that will showcase their acting chops and their holiday spirit.
KAYLA: And it's the guy from Mean Girls. It's Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls. You…
SARAH: This guy?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Hosting it?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Yeah, that is him.
KAYLA: Wow, they've got the Mean Girls people wrapped up in Hallmark. You are joking.
SARAH: Wow
KAYLA: This is like when they did the thing for Finding Elle Woods and from Finding the Mamma Mia.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I can't believe it. I can't believe it.
SARAH: Wow
KAYLA: It keeps getting better.
SARAH: Wow.
KAYLA: Also sucks for him because they could have just cast him.
SARAH: Yeah. Well, maybe he didn't want to do it.
KAYLA: No, I bet he did.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: I bet he did. That is…
SARAH: Wow.
KAYLA: They all look the same.
SARAH: They seem to have seven white men…
KAYLA: And three black men?
SARAH: And three black men. This man looks a little bit racially ambiguous.
KAYLA: But they do all look the same.
SARAH: They all have the same face.
KAYLA: Somehow.
SARAH: Somehow. Yeah.
KAYLA: I'm shook.
SARAH: Wow.
KAYLA: Wait, what are these TV shows? Scroll down.
SARAH: Sorry, I'm learning about Finding Mr. Christmas. I mean, they must have shot this at least almost a year ago.
KAYLA: Yeah, because then to have time to shoot.
SARAH: Because they would have had to shoot the movie.
KAYLA: Yes. Finding Mr. Christmas will follow 10 promising Hallmark hunks who live together… should we watch this?
SARAH: From festive physical challenges to emotional acting scenes. Jonathan Mett is the co-creator, that's why he's…
KAYLA: Oh, an executive producer, okay. So, they will and they will be in the Happy Howlidays.
SARAH: And then whoever wins is…
KAYLA: Is Mr. Christmas or whatever.
SARAH: Wow.
KAYLA: I kind of feel like I need to watch it.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But…
SARAH: Wow. What a journey we've been on.
KAYLA: Oh wait, go back to the… wait a second, so yeah, these are all the Hallmark brands.
SARAH: Yeah. Hallmark Channel
KAYLA: You have Hallmark Channel, Hallmark Mystery, Hallmark Family, Hallmark Plus, Hallmark TV, and Hallmark Wine?
SARAH: Hallmark Channel Wine.
KAYLA: You can get a wine paired with your movie!
SARAH: Oh my God.
KAYLA: No. No.
SARAH: Oh my God.
KAYLA: No. Not a 12-pack.
SARAH: Wow.
KAYLA: Of wine bottles.
SARAH: Christmas at Graceland, Elvis Presley's Infidel.
KAYLA: No. No, no.
SARAH: Wow.
KAYLA: You're joking.
SARAH: Wow.
KAYLA: Wow.
SARAH: Our story.
KAYLA: Tell me everything, Hallmark wine.
SARAH: They've been bottling up their feel-good charm and bringing it to your glass.
KAYLA: Since 2020.
SARAH: Since 2020
KAYLA: Okay, I see what happened here.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I see what happened here.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. They couldn't make all the movies they wanted to.
KAYLA: Uh-huh
SARAH: Discover your favorite drink of choice. Wow.
KAYLA: I cannot… a wine club.
SARAH: Meet the winemaker.
KAYLA: Oh, he looks like he could be in a Hallmark movie.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Wait, why have they not made a Hallmark movie about him?
SARAH: Maybe they have.
KAYLA: Do you think that's how they launched the brand, like a wine rom-com?
SARAH: He started out brewing beer with his brother.
KAYLA: Of course, he did.
SARAH: His favorite Hallmark channel wine is the Summer Splash white blend. He likes a chill red wine in the fridge for 30 minutes before drinking. He loves to pair popcorn with wine and his favorite part of the winemaking process is sharing the final product.
KAYLA: That is the most boring bio I’ve ever seen.
SARAH: They're like setting him up as like the next bachelor, like the way that this is describing him.
KAYLA: Ah!
SARAH: Like…
KAYLA: How is he not in a movie?
SARAH: Wow.
KAYLA: Look him up. Andrew Nelson. What movie are you with, Andrew?
SARAH: Wow. Wow, wow, wow. That's a pretty generic name though. I don’t that we'll find… Wine enthusiast, 40 under 40, 2020, Andrew Nelson.
KAYLA: Oh, Forbes? Or oh, wine enthusiast. I thought he was like in Forbes. No, no.
SARAH: No, no.
KAYLA: Wine enthusiast.
SARAH: He started War Room Sellers. He went from War Room Sellers to Hallmark.
KAYLA: Who's that?
SARAH: No, but like just like it's his own company.
KAYLA: Oh, oh.
SARAH: But like War Room. It sounds so intense. I mean, he still is the CEO.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: To wage war against big wine, but he now takes a more positive approach of all for wine, wine for all.
KAYLA: Brother.
SARAH: He also makes wine for the Association of Zoos and Aquariums.
KAYLA: Huh. LinkedIn.
SARAH: I found his LinkedIn.
KAYLA: Should we connect?
SARAH: No. Um, yeah, War Room Sellers.
KAYLA: He doesn't even have Hallmark on his LinkedIn.
SARAH: He's like, this is not my most important.
KAYLA: I wonder if they just buy the wine from War Room Sellers and it's not, it's not really the…
SARAH: I’m sure they do, yeah. But they're like, this is a moderately attractive white man in his thirties.
KAYLA: Yeah. He could be in one of their movies.
SARAH: In his thirties slash forties.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: We could… let's brand this guy.
KAYLA: I'm shocked they haven't, to be honest.
SARAH: Well. Okay. Well…
KAYLA: We've learned a lot today.
SARAH: We've learned so much today. And at what cost?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Um, Kayla, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Do you watch Hallmark holiday movies?
SARAH: Do you watch them?
KAYLA: And if so, favorite?
SARAH: Favorite? Are there any that have been like genuinely good?
KAYLA: Princess Switch.
SARAH: I'm not asking you.
KAYLA: Genuinely good.
SARAH: I'm not asking you.
KAYLA: Well, I want them to know.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: If you have a Netflix subscription, watch all four or five or however many are out. I don't even know if I've seen them all at this point. I need to do a full rewatch.
SARAH: Yeah, because some of them, like the concepts are good.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: It's just whether the execution can…
KAYLA: The budget
SARAH: And the direction and the casting.
KAYLA: Yeah. There's a couple of Netflix ones that are actually, I think genuinely good. Like when Netflix first was getting into the game, there's another princess one.
SARAH: There's always princess ones.
KAYLA: And I love them. Every time.
SARAH: Amazing. Yeah. Do you watch these? Do you have any interest in them? Do you hate them with a burning passion?
KAYLA: I could see that and I wouldn't be mad. I understand.
SARAH: Yeah. Yeah. Um, I'm also curious with people who live in other countries, like do any of these get, not Canada because it's the same, but, um, but like, do these get imported to you guys? Do you have your own…
KAYLA: Your own, yeah
SARAH: Like sort of situation?
KAYLA: I think there has to be… I think this is probably very similar to Bollywood.
SARAH: Yeah. I mean, it's also a very Western, like it's a…
KAYLA: Christmas, yeah
SARAH: It’s a very Western understanding of what Christmas is.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, like if you live in a country where Christmas is less of a thing or not a thing, like, do you have an equivalent…
KAYLA: Yeah, weird holiday movies
SARAH: For your own holiday time?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Yeah. I'd be interested to know.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: Um, my beef is being an adult.
SARAH: Mm, yeah.
KAYLA: I, this month especially has been a very adult month for me
SARAH: Ew
KAYLA: And I'm sick of it.
SARAH: I hate that
KAYLA: My juice is for the first time ever Kit Kat has come out with a shaped candy. So, if you have Reese's around you, you probably know that Reese's does a different shape for all the holidays. They do trees for Christmas.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I think they do hearts.
SARAH: They do eggs
KAYLA: They do eggs which is funny because it's just an oval.
SARAH: They do pumpkins for Halloween
KAYLA: Oh, they do pumpkins, yeah
SARAH: But it just looks like the eggs because…
KAYLA: Yeah, they’re kind of... But for some reason they always, they taste better and people have their opinions, but like which shape tastes better because it changes the ratio of chocolates or whatever.
SARAH: It changes the ratio, yeah
KAYLA: But Kit Kat has done their first shape, it's a little Santa and it does taste better because there's more chocolate and I'm very excited about it. And I hope they do every holiday now because I love a Kit Kat.
SARAH: Amazing
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: My beef and my juice. My beef is UTIs. I've never had one, but my grandma keeps getting them and therefore that is my beef. My juice is when it's sunny outside
KAYLA: It is
SARAH: Because I'm in Michigan now.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And so, when it's sunny, it's like exciting.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Unlike when I'm in California, you know?
KAYLA: Oh, yeah, that's fair.
SARAH: So that is that. You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your favorite shape of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and or Kit Kat on our social media @Soundsfakepod. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod if you'd like to support us there. We have a new $5 patron, it is Alucard Zavertnik. I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right, but you're cool.
KAYLA: Yaaaayyyy
SARAH: And if I'm pronouncing it wrong, tell me, I would like to pronounce it right. Thank you so much for supporting us. Our other $5 patrons who we are supporting this week are Mel McMeans, Melissa, Meredith, and Morgan Impink. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Alastor who would like to promote the podcast 'Shadows and Shenanigans', Alyson who would like to promote Arden Gray by Ray Stoeve, Ani who would like to promote the importance of being kind to yourself and others, Arcnes who would like to promote The Trevor Project, and Benjamin Ybarra who would like to promote Tabletop Games. Our other $10 patrons are Bones, Celina Dobson, Claire Olsen, Derick & Carissa, Elle Bitter, my aunt Jeannie, Kayla's dad who is here. I think… is he in the garage?
KAYLA: Should I go try to find him?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: My parents have never been on the podcast.
[00:50:00]
SARAH: I'll keep reading. Maff, Martin Chiesl, Olivia O’Shea, Parker, Phoenix Leodinh, Purple Hayes, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm and Val. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Andrew Hillum who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum podcast, Hector Murillo who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla's aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggartart.com, Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Are we getting a cameo?
KAYLA: He's here.
SARAH: Hello.
KAYLA’S DAD: Hello.
SARAH: Come speak into the mic.
KAYLA: Do you have anything to say?
SARAH: Do you have anything that you would like to promote, especially since you're live on this podcast today?
KAYLA’S DAD: Uh, our Jandi Creations
KAYLA: Oh, yes
SARAH: Indeed
KAYLA’S DAD: The company that our better halves, Sandy and Jodi, created.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. Not my better half.
KAYLA’S DAD: No, my better half.
KAYLA: Your friend Paul.
KAYLA’S DAD: Yes.
KAYLA: My uncle Paul, who is not my real uncle.
KAYLA’S DAD: That's right, your mom
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
KAYLA’S DAD: And her college friend created this company for funsies during COVID and it's our main hobby right now so we love it.
KAYLA: I played store with them on Saturday and we sold wood.
KAYLA’S DAD: We sold fancy wood, that's exactly right.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Your mom has given me some candles.
KAYLA: That's true.
SARAH: They're very good.
KAYLA: We don't make many candles anymore.
SARAH: Well, they're good.
KAYLA: They are good.
SARAH: So, take that.
KAYLA: Okay. Yeah.
KAYLA’S DAD: Thank you, ladies.
SARAH: Thank you for joining us on our podcast.
KAYLA: Thank you so much
KAYLA’S DAD: You're very welcome.
SARAH: And now all of our listeners have context for… more context for what it is that is being promoted.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: It is Jandi Creations.
KAYLA: It’s J-A-N-D-I Creations dot Com.
SARAH: Hell, yeah. I don't want to create a footer. Can we stop?
KAYLA: And you know what's actually so special about them? It is many of them are made in my childhood home. So, you could be like, “oh, I love Kayla so much I want the air of her childhood.”
SARAH: The air of her childhood.
KAYLA: And you can have that.
SARAH: Perfect. Um, we're at our $20 patrons. Our $20 patrons are Dragonfly, Dr. Jacki, my mom, and River, who would like to promote seeing family on the holidays and being not Trump supporters.
KAYLA: Uh-huh.
SARAH: Um, also River, um…
KAYLA: Are you okay?
SARAH: Did you intentionally up your patronage by that much? Let us know.
KAYLA: Because thank you, but also…
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: Huh? Are you sure?
SARAH: Do we need to add a new tier?
KAYLA: It could be
SARAH: Would you like another perk?
KAYLA: Would you like, um, what can we give you?
SARAH: I said that if the amount of money that you're giving us is correct, we could offer occasional dog sitting services.
KAYLA: Yeah. That’s… I don't know where you live.
SARAH: I don't know where you live either or if you have a dog
KAYLA: We could fly there, it's fine. It's fine.
SARAH: Uh, yeah, let us know. We'll reach out to you. Uh, great. Um, that's all. Thank you for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears. We will not be podcasting from the same place.
KAYLA: Womp womp
SARAH: Womp womp.
KAYLA: I feel like very chaotic energy.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I think we talk very fast when we're together.
SARAH: Yeah, I think this will be a lot faster to edit because there's…
KAYLA: No space.
SARAH: No space.
KAYLA: Only yapping.
SARAH: Yeah, there's no… we don't have to wait for Zoom to…
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because like there is a slight delay with Zoom.
KAYLA: Even when my internet is okay.
SARAH: Yeah, that I do have to like…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: When we do the intro, I do like cut a little bit out.
KAYLA: Yeah. But now…
SARAH: But now, we're at top speed.
KAYLA: Yap city.
SARAH: We're moving…
KAYLA: So fast
SARAH: Yap city, yap city, yap city, bitch.
KAYLA: Uh huh.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: Okay, um, and until then, take good care of your cows
SARAH: Great.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]
