Sounds Fake But Okay
Sounds Fake But Okay
Ep 326: Reddit Rabbit Hole pt 14 (Kids Edition)
Hey what's up hello! For our penultimate episode of the year, we're heading back to Reddit to react to some wild stories involving kids.
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/reddit-rabbit-hole-pt-14-kids-edition
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SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I’m Sarah, that's me)
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual girl (that's me Kayla)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand
KAYLA: On today's episode, ‘Reddit Rabbit Hole’ part, I don't know
SARAH: We've done a lot
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod
KAYLA: We're apart again
SARAH: We are apart again and I have been afflicted by a malaise
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: An illness
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: But I am working from home today because there are men working on my house and we're podcasting right now because they're at lunch
KAYLA: They're eating lunch. There was also men working in my house earlier, the heat in my building is weird and there were… the plumbers were on our house
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: And Billie really likes strangers so the man was on the floor like looking at our radiator and she was just all over him
SARAH: Great
KAYLA: Being a slut. And now my radiator is dripping, they came in and they said they fixed everything and I believe them because they were very nice men
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: But what had happened was now my radiator is leaking and in about two hours it leaked like 10 ounces of water which I think is too many, so
SARAH: Mm-hmm, yeah that's not good
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Well, here is a preview of my beef this week um they had to move my washer and dryer to do the work they needed to do so they're finishing the actual work today they're coming back tomorrow and they're like painting it
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Um, because they had to fuck with the wall but because they're painting it and they have to let it dry they can't put the washer and dryer back until Monday
KAYLA: Mm, that is…
SARAH: And I usually do my laundry on Sundays
KAYLA: That is tough
SARAH: Which means that now I won't be able to do my laundry until Monday after work
KAYLA: Yeah, that’s not going to be good
SARAH: And I haven't emotionally… I didn't emotionally prepare to have to conserve my clothes, anyway
KAYLA: What are we gonna do?
SARAH: Our housekeeping, housekeeping?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: We are here this week, we will be here again next week for same podcast different year, different year same podcast
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: The following week, the 22nd of December will be our first week of winter break, we will be on winter break for winter break for four weeks, we will return on January 19th
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: So, this episode, one more episode then a little breaky break for the holidays and then we'll come back and we'll be refreshed and delighted
KAYLA: Yes, I just realized that I will be in a break from school and pod at the same time so I’m gonna be so refreshed
SARAH: Huge news, um, that's all
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Shall we begin since the men doing work on my house may come back mid podcast?
KAYLA: I think we must
SARAH: Great. Kayla… No, I have to put my cough drop back in my mouth
KAYLA: Nooooo
SARAH: I took it out because I knew you'd be able to hear it when I was talking but then I started coughing
KAYLA: Yeah, that's tough
SARAH: Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week we are back with more Reddit
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: This time from Reddit not from you people
SARAH: Mm-hmm, correct
KAYLA: Yep, that's it
SARAH: Instead of asking you for numbers I’m just gonna kind of pick them randomly this time. Why? because it's easier
KAYLA: Sounds good
SARAH: Also, because…
KAYLA: You know what's funny?
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: I was looking at our… like Spotify Wrapped just came out this week for us
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And as podcasters we also get wrapped
SARAH: Oh, right
KAYLA: Where it tells you like here's your demographics and like here's how many people you were their number one show and there was a thing about like what other shows people listen to and one of them was like the Smosh Reddit podcast and I was like, “I see”
SARAH: Amazing
KAYLA: I see
SARAH: I was not in my sister's top five podcasts and I’m a little offended but like whatever
KAYLA: That's really fucked up
SARAH: I didn't have a Spotify top five podcasts because I don't listen to my podcasts on Spotify, sorry
KAYLA: I did have it
SARAH: Oh
KAYLA: We were not in my top five
SARAH: Well, that would make sense
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't listen to us
SARAH: I’m gonna give this week a little bit of a theme just for fun
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Me and Kayla both know people who have had babies recently
KAYLA: It's true
SARAH: There's also another person that I know who had a baby recently Kayla that I don't think you know about, so
KAYLA: I don't think I do
SARAH: Um, this is… we're gonna do like children
KAYLA: This is great, because I have a lot of newfound knowledge specifically about newborns, so
SARAH: Great. Great. I’m gonna start with this one which is, am I the asshole for giving my wife an ultimatum about baby names?
KAYLA: Well, it depends on the name I think
SARAH: It depends on the name
KAYLA: I really do think it does
SARAH: Okay, before my wife and I got married we made an agreement that she would get to name our first boy and I would get to name our first girl also that implies that…
KAYLA: Weird
SARAH: Like… were you gonna keep trying until you get one of each? Like… anyway
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: We recently discovered that she was pregnant with twins and after talking about it we decided to stick to our original plan, I thought everything…
KAYLA: Oh, no, bad idea, not with twins
SARAH: I thought everything would be fine but ever since I heard the name she chose we've been having problems. Also, I understand being like making an agreement like this but at the end of the day you both need to agree on the name
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't really agree with like one person gets to do the name
SARAH: Yeah, yep
KAYLA: Like you both… And obviously it's gonna be one person's original idea
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: But like…
SARAH: Or maybe one person is like the captain of the ship but like…
KAYLA: Sure. Or like gets final say or something
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But it shouldn't… okay
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Especially the twins like they need… the names need to like go together
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: For twins
SARAH: So, this person goes, the name is bad, it sounds really stupid and it's absolutely the kind of name that will get our son bullied. I immediately vetoed it but my wife said I can't because it was… because that wasn't our agreement
KAYLA: No, see you need a veto rule, they should have baked a veto rule in
SARAH: Yeah, also, I don't know that this includes the name
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: Um
KAYLA: How could this not include the name?
SARAH: Okay. I asked why she insisted on this particular name apparently it comes from a character she identified with in one of her favorite books when she was growing up, that's the context we have
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: But emotional attachment doesn't make the name itself any better. I said, fine. Then I may as well name our daughter Hortensia Beerbong the Third, it sounds just as dumb
KAYLA: Okay, I have to know what this name is
SARAH: She told me I couldn't do that and I just said, why not? it's my choice, that was the agreement. We've been at an impasse ever since. Now, obviously I’m not actually going to name my daughter that and I’m pretty sure my wife knows that too, I was just trying to help her see the mistakes she was making but she's not listening to reason. Recently, she started hinting she might take off… might just take off around her due date and give birth somewhere without me and my naming input, I think that's uncalled for but I’ve got a week-long business trip that I can't get out of about a month before she's due and I’m worried she'll take the opportunity to disappear until after the twins are here. I’ve told my brother to keep an eye on her while I’m gone but it's not like he can watch her 24/7. I think her name is dumb and will cause problems for our son and she thinks I’m being controlling and overdramatic neither of us are willing to back down but with her hints about skipping town for the birth I’ve been wondering if things have gone too far, am I the asshole?
KAYLA: I think…
SARAH: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the name…
KAYLA: Oh, yes, yes
SARAH: The name is Neville
KAYLA: Bad, bad name
SARAH: Yeah, it's too associated with Neville Longbottom, like there's too much of a…
KAYLA: Yes, I’m… like we all immediately know what character it was and also just like that is… it's not a good name, like… because there's also research that like what you name your kid impacts like what their personality turns out to be
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like how they are as a person, and like that is going to be like a sniffly little snot boy
SARAH: Yep
KAYLA: I think they're both the asshole because they should never have made this agreement and I don't know what they were thinking
SARAH: Yeah, the conclusion that people came to was that everyone sucks. Crazy that she's threatening to just like leave and have the kids without him, so she can name them
KAYLA: Yes, that is a major overreaction, like there is no… that's very uncalled for
SARAH: Yeah, the top comment is, I think you and your wife have more issues than just naming the children
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: For her to threaten to take off and have the birth without you and to name the children to spite you and then you escalating by asking your brother to watch her is not a good indicator for the health of your marriage, for many couples naming their children is a two yeses is a win a single no cancels that choice, you both should agree on the names
KAYLA: Yeah, no, that's not… you can't… why would they do this?
SARAH: Yes. I have another really good baby name one, that my sister… It's actually only from like 14 days ago
KAYLA: Oh my God, fresh
SARAH: That my sister found and was telling me about and I was like, this is important. Okay, I laughed at my sister's tragedeigh, spelled T-R-A-G-E-D-E-I-G-H
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: And now I’m uninvited to the baby shower I’m planning
KAYLA: Wait, that's the child's name?
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Okay, the way it was spelled that could definitely be like a modern baby name
SARAH: It was from r/ tragedeigh spelled like that, like that's about bad baby names which is why they said, I found out… I laughed at my sister's tragedeigh, spelled horribly and now I’m uninvited to the baby shower I’m planning.
[00:10:00]
SARAH: Okay, my sister is due in early January and we're planning her baby shower for early December, she decided she wanted to use my mother's maiden name, Rafferty, as her daughter's name, that's Rafferty, R-A-F-F-E-R-T-Y
KAYLA: No
SARAH: But this person says not a tragedy itself and I guess it works as a unique name but yesterday I texted my sister that I needed to get the custom items with my niece's name ordered ASAP so that they arrive in time for the shower, my sister then let me know they're going with an alternative spelling of Rafferty
KAYLA: Oh, good
SARAH: I texted back an alternative spelling of our mother's maiden name?
KAYLA: It's so stupid
SARAH: My sister wants to spell it R-A-E-F-A-R-T-Y
KAYLA: Mm. Mm. What?
SARAH: Raefarty.
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: So, I sent back a bunch of laughing emojis and she asked, what's so funny? I tried to explain that no one will pronounce that as Rafferty
KAYLA: No
SARAH: And she'll probably get plenty of the same mispronunciations, she told me I was being ridiculous. I texted back my poor niece little Ms. Farty Ray. I was uninvited to the shower and my mom told me today my sister doesn't want me as the godmother anymore, but like Raefarty is really bad, isn't it? Someone needs to tell her, right?
KAYLA: Wait, but so the mom is… oh, no. So, the mom who the baby is basically being named after is okay with this?
SARAH: There's an update
KAYLA: Great
SARAH: So, we had an intervention on Raefarty
KAYLA: Yes, yes, intervention
SARAH: I know everyone said to send a link to the original post to my sister to show her that 103% of the global population would call her daughter Rae Farty and that would be the easiest thing to do but some commenters said some pretty gnarly things about my sister that she doesn't need to read and feel worse about herself but I wanted to address a few things that came up. First, for those saying I shouldn't bother paying for the baby shower anymore, I had no plans to not continue to pay and help out, disagreements and fighting aside, I love my sister and wanted her to go into motherhood filled with love and support blah blah blah. Second, um, my sister's husband…
KAYLA: Wow, what a good person
SARAH: My sister's husband was made aware of the spelling change of Rafferty to Raefarty about a month before my original post, he said he didn't think much of it until he saw it written down and immediately saw it as Raefarty too, he said her emotions had been getting worse throughout the pregnancy and he didn't know how to approach her about going back to the original spelling, he had hoped that once she gave birth all the hormones would somehow leave her body and she'd come to her senses and it would be a non-issue
KAYLA: No, what? Why can't we just communicate? What happened to communication?
SARAH: Third, a lot of you were lumping my mom in with my sister and said some pretty horrible things about her too, all my mom knew was that… was from my sister calling her to complain that I had laughed at her for slightly changing the spelling.
KAYLA: Oh, okay…
SARAH: My mom just assumed it was a minor change like Raffertie, R-A-F-F-E-R-T-I-E until I told her to grab a pen and paper and I'd spell it out for her. Once she saw it was Raefarty she was on team ‘save this child’ uh, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
KAYLA: Little Farty Ray
SARAH: She's saying… uh, my sister is… like the reason why she thought it was a joke at first is that her sister is a bit of joker so she initially thought that she was just pulling a prank or joking
KAYLA: Yeah, obviously
SARAH: But if she was joking she took the joke really, really far, she spent 400 on a mural painted on one wall in the nursery
KAYLA: Noooo
SARAH: She wanted to debut the finished nursery to everyone at the baby shower including her husband who was forbidden to see it beforehand that had Raefarty incorporated into it, that now needs to be repainted. She also bought herself a birthing gift, is that even a thing?
KAYLA: Yes, it is
SARAH: She'd have my brother-in-law present to her in front of everyone at the hospital, a 900 plus dollar gold bracelet with R-A-E-F-A-R-T and Y charms. The baby book also has Raefarty embroidered on the cover. I contacted my sister's best friend Katie, not her real name, if my sister has told her anything about the spelling change, she found out about Raefarty after the blow up with my sister and my sister wanted to get Katie on her side. Katie, who is a teacher, was equally horrified about the spelling and told me this is the worst attempt at a creative name she has ever seen
KAYLA: Which is saying a lot because I’m sure that teacher has seen a lot of shit
SARAH: Yeah. The intervention of sorts, the Farty party if you will
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Included me, my sister, her husband, his mother, and father, my mother and Katie, my sister refused to believe anyone could possibly see Raefarty as Ray Farty and that… oh, my… sorry, my cough drop ended up on the floor
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Uh, she refused to believe that anyone could possibly see Raefarty as Ray Farty and that we were just mad she was taking creative license and that everyone does that nowadays. My sister said that children are not that cruel to bully her daughter for her name and Katie said plenty of kids are cruel enough and the others would join in so they're not singled out themselves. My sister countered that as long as all the adults are pronouncing it correctly that'll be no problem
KAYLA: No
SARAH: And Katie told her that not only would the adults not know how to pronounce it to begin with but that as long as fart is in the name kids will latch right on to that. I was happy Katie was there because she shared interesting names for students she has had over the past few years so I knew her opinion on this would probably be the only one to sway her
KAYLA: Yeah, I mean that is… it's a very good thing that she's a teacher because that provides a lot of evidence
SARAH: Yeah, my sister cried for about 10 minutes and finally agreed to entirely change the name because even Rafferty was tainted because we had all ruined it for her
KAYLA: Well, okay
SARAH: We told her to take her time and to consider a new name, she told us she still wanted to honor my mother and she suggested she'd combined my mother's first name…
KAYLA: No
SARAH: With her mother-in-law's name and created a name on the spot that included a crass term for a lesbian
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: Where did she say… my sister told me what the word was, um, I’ll see if I can come up with the crass term in a minute because it's not right here. Um, when my mother pointed that out, she started crying again and accused us of not letting her be a mom
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: And her husband suggested that we leave it for now and we should all go and give her space, it has been radio…
KAYLA: Husband
SARAH: It has been radio-silence until my sister texted me a couple hours ago that she and her husband landed on Theodora and she was absolutely in love with it
KAYLA: Oh my God, great, a normal name
SARAH: Yeah, a great name
KAYLA: Excellent
SARAH: She even decided by my unborn niece… my unborn niece looks like a Theodora in ultrasounds
KAYLA: Great, that’s fine
SARAH: She got those creepy 3D ones where it looks like the same CAPA potato. I replied that that was lovely and I’m so happy she's happy, it's not my taste but at least it's not T-H-E-E-O-‘-D-O-O-R-R-U-G-H or some crap like that. So, there you go, my niece has been saved from being called Raefarty. I’m invited to the baby shower again and I know this will just be a little blip with my relationship with my sister, we will be fine, but Katie will be taking over as godmother, which is fine by me, I could always be godmother for their next child who will probably be named something like Tiramisu.
KAYLA: Um, I think… okay, I have several thoughts, I’m gonna start with this thought, a birthing present is a real thing, they call it a push present
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: But no one buys themselves the push present
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And then has the partner give it. Like you might pick out and be like this is the push present I want
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: I already know what I would want, if I ever…
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: I want an electric cat litter thing, one of those robots that does the cat litter, they're so expensive, but…
SARAH: You should get that when you're still pregnant though
KAYLA: Right, exactly, because pregnant people cannot scoop the litter
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, it'd be like an early push present. Anyway, insane that she bought it herself and was like, here, present this to me. I think that they should keep everything that already has Raefarty on. Like they at least need to not throw it away because that is going to be a really good story…
SARAH: It’s funny
KAYLA: One day once everyone gets over themselves
SARAH: So, I looked in the comments someone did say, the… not… the on the spot LGBT-unfriendly name that she came up with
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: So, the grandma's names were Leslie and Yvon
KAYLA: Was it Lesy?
SARAH: It was something like Lesyvon
KAYLA: That's so bad, it's a bad name
SARAH: So, there is that
KAYLA: Even Lizzie Von is a bad name
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: Yep
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: All right, we've got another one, let's go, let's… we're banging them out. Am I the asshole for ruining my own gender reveal party?
KAYLA: No, it's yours
SARAH: This is from four months ago. So, this child is born now because they said, I’m pregnant with a baby boy due in November, my fiancé and I didn't care much about the sex of our child so we didn't make too much noise about it once we found out. The only people we informed were our parents, their partners and our siblings. Prior to this, my father's girlfriend of three years have been asking me about my plans for a gender reveal party
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: I’ve always been clear about not wanting one, when I announced my son's gender to them, she expressed disappointment that I hadn't changed my mind about a party
KAYLA: Hey, get a life, who cares that much… oh my God, okay
SARAH: I don't like gender reveals, never have, never will. I prefer baby showers which I think feel more about the actual child, I never tried to hide that opinion either. Days later, my father's girlfriend invited me over for tea at their apartment, my dad was out of town
KAYLA: Okay, tea
SARAH: When I got there, about a dozen people popped out of hiding to surprise me
KAYLA: No
SARAH: There were pink and blue decorations everywhere
KAYLA: No
[00:20:00]
SARAH: Which made what was going on pretty clear. As I stood there in shock my father's girlfriend excitedly told me they were throwing me a surprise gender reveal party since I had already told her she had taken it upon herself to order a cake with colorful frosting, decorate the apartment and invite a bunch of people over.
KAYLA: Uh, who?
SARAH: The guests included her mother
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Whom I don't get along with, some of her friends
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: My mother-in-law, not my mom
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: And four of my friends. As I later found out, my mother-in-law and friends had been told I had changed my mind about a gender reveal
KAYLA: Nasty, because I was just gonna ask, what were the friends doing
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But that is nasty
SARAH: Yeah. I had not, still in the doorway, I looked over at everyone and said, “it's a boy, you guys can go home now”
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: I left without looking back
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Hours later my father called me furious that I had ruined the party, he said his girlfriend had put a lot of effort, money and love into planning it and I should have shown respect and gratitude for it
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Apparently, she hadn't stopped crying since I left
KAYLA: Good
SARAH: It has been almost a week and they're both still upset even after I explained I never wanted that party in the first place they're insisting I could have sucked it up for an hour or at least cut the cake
KAYLA: Why though? Why?
SARAH: An update also, her mom was not invited
KAYLA: Yeah, because the mom would have like put a stop to it, like the mom… the mom would have known I feel like
SARAH: Yeah. Uh, she said according to my father's girlfriend she didn't have her number and that's probably true but I also have no idea how she could have gotten my mother-in-law's phone number
KAYLA: Or like the friends
SARAH: Like it would have been easy… she could have gotten her…
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Her boyfriend's ex-wife's phone number if she needed to
KAYLA: I think, yeah. I think it could have been managed
SARAH: There is another update that said, um, like thank you for your replies especially those who call me the asshole for having a gender reveal, I’m assuming you didn't read my post but you still cracked me up
KAYLA: Fair
SARAH: There's like, all jokes aside, I’ve been expected to be a pushover for most of my life, I’m the older daughter of divorced parents, so it was good to know I was right to stand my ground on this issue, after reading your comments I’ve concluded the only thing I did wrong was leaving without talking to my friends and mother-in-law, they were lied to and put in an awkward position, after I left I did talk to them the next day and apologized but I wished I told them what was going on
KAYLA: Yeah, but like in the moment how can you like…
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: Sure, that would have been nice but I don't think anyone could blame her for not thinking of that in the moment
SARAH: Yeah, a few days ago they invited… her fiancé and her invited her father and his girlfriend over and we were like, okay, let's talk about this
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: It turned into a fight, my father agreed with some of the points I made but kept insisting that I was ungrateful and owed his girlfriend an apology. She was quiet at first started crying about 20 minutes into the fight, my father's girlfriend said that she threw the party because she cared about me and that she'd want one if she was pregnant. She started talking about all the gender reveal videos she'd watched on TikTok and how happy the parents look in them, she told me she genuinely thought I'd love it and couldn't understand why I’ve been so rude to her, this woman is peak narcissist
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Like she does not care about… like she doesn't pay attention to anyone else, she only thinks about what she would like
KAYLA: Yes, I also my first thought was that she just wanted to look good in front of like her friends
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And other people and get to brag about like oh I planned this whole
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I also wonder if part of it is that she could then say, oh her own mother didn't plan this but I planned it
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like if it's like a nasty thing like that
SARAH: Yeah. Well, it continues
KAYLA: Great
SARAH: To my surprise my fiancé was the first to snap at that, he's usually the calm one
KAYLA: Hell, yes
SARAH: He told her to stop calling… he told her to stop calling it my party because she clearly threw it for herself. I had expressed countless times that I didn't want a gender reveal and I was well within my rights to leave when she tried to ambush me with one
KAYLA: Also, how did they not bring up her lying to the people?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like that should be point number one, like, hey you knew what was wrong because you…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Anyway, continue
SARAH: The fight didn't go on much longer, near its end my father asked me why I hadn't at least played along for a while, I told him I went there expecting to spend an hour with someone I’ve been meaning to get to know better not to spend my entire afternoon entertaining a dozen people more than half of whom I either don't know or didn't like, who got together to talk about my child's privates, I didn't mean to upset anyone but I had to get out
KAYLA: Also, you're… she's pregnant, she can do whatever she wants
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Pregnant people get to do whatever they want
SARAH: There were two main pieces of advice from your comments I decided to follow, the first was to tell my father's girlfriend she needed to apologize to my friends and mother-in-law for lying to them
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: She agreed and they later confirmed that she actually did apologize to them. Secondly, neither of them will be allowed to meet my son at the hospital when he's born
KAYLA: Huh
SARAH: My father had been looking forward to this so it wasn't an easy decision but I made it clear it was final. My father called me the next day to apologize for everything, yeah, once you…
KAYLA: Yeah, now that there's consequences
SARAH: Yeah, and I forgave him, I don't expect an apology from his girlfriend but I’m done feeding that fire, my life is stressful enough as it is, my son will be here in November, he already has a name and we've just started working on his nursery, I truly can't wait to meet him
KAYLA: Brother! That… yeah, you're a hundred percent right, that is a narcissistic lady
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Who I also wonder if she has children of her own and so it's like… she's like, oh, well, I always wanted something like this so now she's just like doing all the stuff for herself that she wants
SARAH: Mm-hmm. There's this comment that says, come closer children I’m going to tell you a really big super-duper secret, it's even more secret than the meaning of life, the universe and everything, are you ready? Really ready, ready? Okay, when you actually care about someone, you respect their wishes and preferences, for instance, if they say they don't want to party don't ambush them with one and then cry like the loser you are because the so-called guest of honor won't play, okay children, go forth with your new enlightenment
KAYLA: Okay, that is such a… I wish that that truly could be drilled into people's brains though, of like, if you truly cared about someone
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: You would respect their wishes, not what you think their wishes should be
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like because people just don't… they do not understand that
SARAH: Yeah. Someone goes, do not tell her the name or she will throw a name reveal
KAYLA: Oh my God, not the name reveal
SARAH: And so, the comment was like, no one needs to be grateful for something you specifically said you don't want
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: At that point there is no thought that counts because the giver is thinking only of themselves
KAYLA: True, and that's the tea
SARAH: Okay. Am I the asshole for not giving up my Christmas annual leave so my coworker can spend some time with her kids?
KAYLA: I don't know
SARAH: I, 25 F, I’m not sure if it's relevant, but I’ve chosen a child-free life, about three months ago I got started at a new job and have just passed my probation period and now my bosses are sorting out my annual leave with me, this boss said that there's one gap left for annual leave on Christmas and they've been saving it for me
KAYLA: Oh my God, nice
SARAH: Yeah. According to him, any new employees once they've passed the probation period will get the first Christmas off, here's the thing, I don't care if I work Christmas or not and I’ll be on my own this Christmas as I don't celebrate it. Two days later, this was three days ago, I had a colleague come up to me and she was talking about annual leave and asked if I would consider switching and my response was, no. She then started going on about how she has kids and what I would be doing to this Christmas and I just said no, she seemed moody and walked away. Later that night I got home and my nephew video called me from his mom's phone when she got the phone we caught up, here's the thing though, before my sister gave birth to her son this happened and was in complete agreement with my sister was in complete agreement with me in a previous workplace, I brought this up with my sister, no. Before my sister gave birth to her son this happened and her previous workplace it seems was in complete agreement with it, I brought this up with my sister my sister said that I’m being a bit selfish as I’m child-free and she has kids, she's working and I’m not which means she won't be able to see her kids for long on Christmas day, she also brought up the fact that I’m not bothering to come up and see family this Christmas and will be spending three of the days phone-free so I won't be communicating with anyone, am I the asshole for not giving up my annual leave to a mom and kids when I’m going to be off and she's going to be working even though I don't care if I work or not?
KAYLA: Yes, because you don't care if you work or not
SARAH: Yes, it would be…
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: If you had like shit going on on Christmas then I would say, no you're not the asshole, it's not your responsibility
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: To make sure that she can spend time with her kids
KAYLA: Right
SARAH: Just because you don't have kids, it doesn't mean that you're…
KAYLA: But you already said…
SARAH: But you already don't care
KAYLA: You don’t care
SARAH: So why fucking not?
KAYLA: And you're not doing anything
SARAH: And you're like… you're new at this job this is the precedent you're setting with your co-workers?
KAYLA: Not good
SARAH: No
KAYLA: I don't even think it's… like the kids’ thing like has to factor into it
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Because you already don't care, like even if this woman had no kids and was just like I want these days off you already said you don't care
SARAH: Yeah. This person was like, why did you say no to switching? You said you don't care about Christmas, you don't celebrate the holiday, you will not be visiting family who does celebrate, if she was switching then you wouldn't be giving up your annual leave, you would just be shifting the date of it
KAYLA: Yeah, you still get your leave, it's just a different day
SARAH: And someone was like, OP might be concerned about setting a precedent whereby people will assume they're always willing to swap or cancel holidays, which is fair but like just… you can stand your ground in the future and say, no I’m not…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Gonna do that if you… like…
KAYLA: Or you… like even if she did give it up, she could do like a, oh, I usually wouldn't do this but I don't… this time I don't really care
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, like I’ll make an exception this time like
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Yeah, no, that… you already don't care
SARAH: Most people are saying, you're the asshole, some people are saying, not the asshole because like your life is as important as your co-worker’s and it's like yeah that's…
KAYLA: But there's no life going on
[00:30:00]
SARAH: Right like a lot of people were saying like this person seems to be just doing it like out of spite like just…
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Just kind of to be mean, just because they can and it's like, look if you had plans then by all means take the fucking day off but you weren't going to do anything anyway
KAYLA: It does feel a little spiteful of like well like or like wanting to control the power in the situation
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Which like why, yeah, I don't think so
SARAH: Yep. Am I the asshole for slamming a child with a metal pipe in the grocery store?
KAYLA: No, children in grocery stores are annoying
SARAH: A child in the stomach, I’m sorry, a child in the stomach with a metal pipe
KAYLA: Oh, a little extra fine, it's not like it's the head, okay, so
SARAH: Um, this is a video. So, okay, hear me out, I was buying my groceries as usual and as I’m checking out this beautiful can of tomato sauce, I stumbled upon this child maybe five to six years old and he looked at me and asked his mom, oh, the person was checking out with… they had a can of tomato sauce
KAYLA: Yes, they were checking out their beautiful…
SARAH: Their beautiful can, yeah, sorry, I thought they were like they saw it when they… okay, they had a beautiful can of tomato sauce
KAYLA: And they were purchasing it
SARAH: Yeah, and the child who was like five or six looked up their mom and was like, I want that can of tomato sauce
KAYLA: Okay, what? I need to know about the brand of this tomato sauce, is it that beautiful?
SARAH: I don't know. Hold on, I had to restart it, I’m checking out this beautiful can of tomato sauce, stumbled upon a child, maybe five or six years old, he looked up at me and asked his mom, mom I want that can of tomato sauce, which is actually not a question but I understand the sentiment. So, I start to argue with this kid and his mom
KAYLA: What? Why?
SARAH: He doesn't have the right to call dibs on anything he wants in the grocery store, if I found it first, it's mine
KAYLA: I am not understanding this situation
SARAH: I don't care what this kid's mom has to say, this kid can't just steal my rightfully owned can of tomato sauce like that
KAYLA: There is no way this is real
SARAH: All the anger I have been holding for the past few weeks ever since my wife left me
KAYLA: Okay, sure
SARAH: Ever since my mother kicked me out of her house
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Was all let out and I pulled out my trusty metal pipe that I’ve been keeping in my backpack just incase
KAYLA: Sarah, no, Sarah
SARAH: It's definitely not real, I… because then… he picks up the child, throws it in the air and slams it with my metal pipe as hard as I can, the kid goes flying into the side of the grocery store crying, his mother starts screaming at me and threatens to call the police, I don't care, I would rather keep my can of tomato sauce that is rightfully mine, I have all the right in the world to slam him with a metal pipe
KAYLA: Um, not the asshole
SARAH: All the people are like, yeah, not the asshole
KAYLA: Yeah. I think that for April fools we should do an ‘am I the asshole?’ that's just only stories like theses ones
SARAH: These ones that are fake yeah
KAYLA: Yeah, wow
SARAH: But I think… like that sort of thing definitely does happen where like a kid is like, I want that, and then their parents like, well, you have to give it to me, because like…
KAYLA: I know
SARAH: Like, you can go get another, it's like, no you can
KAYLA: You can, I’m already checking out
SARAH: Like…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: This is my can of tomato sauce
KAYLA: It is, you know what? Maybe I’m in the wrong here but I don't like 100% understand that sentiment at like, say like a sports game, right? You know how like… they’ll sometimes like throw the baseball into the stands and then people will catch it
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Like they'll throw it on purpose or there's just like a fly ball and people will catch it
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And people typically then give it to like a child near them, like if an adult catches it, they'll give it to a child
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Why can't I have it?
SARAH: Listen…
KAYLA: Like why did… I understand it's like form of experience maybe now this child will become a baseball player, I could still become a baseball player
SARAH: Well, you do have an advantage in that you're taller probably
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: So, grow up kid
KAYLA: What if I want it? What if I want it though? Like do I always… say I’m at a baseball game and I catch a ball, do I have to give it to the child if there's a child near me?
SARAH: I think it really just depends on…
KAYLA: I don't want to
SARAH: It's all very situational, kind of
KAYLA: Dean? Come here
SARAH: I think you shouldn't necessarily be obligated to, but you might get…
KAYLA: But I feel like there's a… there is like a culture….
SARAH: You might get pressured into it, yeah
KAYLA: Exactly. Okay, you know how…
DEAN: Am I on the podcast?
KAYLA: Yes. You know how like at a baseball game or a sporting event sometimes you catch a fly ball or they like throw a ball into the stands like on purpose for a fan to have?
DEAN: Yeah
KAYLA: And you know how people usually if it's an adult they'll like give it to a child, why can't I have it?
DEAN: Why don't they give it to you?
KAYLA: No, like, okay, say we're at a baseball game and I catch the fly ball and there's a kid next to me do I have to give it to the kid?
DEAN: You don’t have to
KAYLA: But will I look like a piece of shit if I don't?
DEAN: I mean if you like steal the ball
KAYLA: No, no, I catch it, fairly, it is mine, I caught it, do I have to give it to the kid next to me?
DEAN: I wouldn't say you have to
KAYLA: But I’ll look like a bad person if I don't?
DEAN: If the kid like really wants it
KAYLA: Then what if I really want it?
DEAN: I mean if the kid starts like crying or something though like are you gonna feel bad?
KAYLA: I can cry too. I don't think children should be able to get whatever they want just because they're small and crying
DEAN: Listen…
KAYLA: I’m also small and I like to cry
DEAN: If you feel bad, it is irrelevant, but if the kid starts crying and people start pressuring you…
KAYLA: But I don't think they should pressure me
DEAN: Well…
KAYLA: Because I caught it and that kid sounds like a brat if it's just gonna cry if it doesn't get what it wants
DEAN: Right, but is that ball gonna make your day?
KAYLA: Maybe
DEAN: Because…
KAYLA: Honestly, okay, honestly…
DEAN: It’s gonna make the kid’s day
KAYLA: No, no, Dean let's be real, if we were at a baseball game and I somehow miraculously caught the fly ball
DEAN: Yeah
KAYLA: I think like that would make my year, because there's no way I’m catching the ball, look at me
DEAN: You're not entitled to give it to the kid
KAYLA: Okay, great, would you judge me if I didn't give it to the kid?
DEAN: If you stole it from the kid
KAYLA: I’m not, I know, I’m not stealing it from the kid, I caught it, which we both can agree would be a huge achievement if I caught it
DEAN: It's one thing if it's a foul ball, if the player is like throwing the ball into the crowd though…
KAYLA: Huh
DEAN: Towards the kid
KAYLA: But what if he was throwing it to me?
DEAN: I mean, maybe
KAYLA: Or threw it without looking, was like whatever, for anyone
DEAN: Typically, they’re looking
KAYLA: But what if they were like, huh, it's for whoever
DEAN: Okay, well, that's a different case I suppose, but
KAYLA: I just feel like…
DEAN: If he looks at a kid or points it out and like tosses it to a kid and you take it
KAYLA: Yes, I… yes, that's a different situation, but it's like, if everything is completely fair and equal, I just feel like kids shouldn't get special privileges like that
DEAN: Um, did you when you were a kid?
KAYLA: No, no, I didn't get a baseball
DEAN: What? Would you have?
KAYLA: What do you mean by that? What I have for?
DEAN: Your dad kind of baseball, were you with him?
KAYLA: Oh, I mean yeah but he's my dad, I’m talking about just like a kid I don't know
DEAN: Well, would you have appreciated it if an adult gave you a baseball?
KAYLA: No, I didn't care about sports
DEAN: Well, I don’t know what to tell you. Would you care now?
KAYLA: If I caught the ball, yes, I would care because we can both again agree that would be incredible if I caught the ball. I just think the point is that kids shouldn't get whatever they want and I should sometimes get whatever I want
SARAH: It's a cruel world out there and the kids need to learn that
KAYLA: That's what… thank you, she said it's a cruel world out there and kids need to learn that. And that's what's wrong, everyone is getting all their participation trophies these days
DEAN: Perhaps maybe… a foul ball at a baseball game isn’t the best place to explain that to them
KAYLA: I think it's a very good place, because that kid… if the kid grows up thinking that whatever they want… he left… but I’m so serious…
SARAH: You know how…
KAYLA: Get the ball
SARAH: You know how there's that like that art that explains the difference between equality, equity…
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: And the other one
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: And how they're like…
KAYLA: Give the child a ladder so that we can be the same height
SARAH: Put the child on stilts
KAYLA: Put the child on stilts
SARAH: No, I would just say in that art they're like looking over the fence to see a baseball game
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, like that's a really important lesson in life and then the other important baseball game lesson in life…
KAYLA: Okay, but we can…
SARAH: Is you're not entitled to a baseball
KAYLA: You're not entitled to a baseball. I think that we could make measures to make it so the child and me are… have an equal chance of catching the ball
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And that would be a better lesson than me just giving the child the ball
SARAH: Well, depending on how old they are, wouldn't you have to improve their fine motor function?
KAYLA: We could… I’m sure there's some technology, we could give them like a glove or something
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: That like catches it for them
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: But I just think that I should get the ball
SARAH: Okay, I’m glad we established this, let's do one more
KAYLA: Okay. I… And the poll for this week is gonna be, what do you think about giving…
SARAH: Okay, cool
KAYLA: The ball to the child next to you at the baseball game
SARAH: Am I the asshole for teaching my son to call me dad against his mother's wishes?
KAYLA: Huh
SARAH: This is another video, so it's gonna be a little funky when I read it
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: I had a one-night stand with a woman, Mary, we're gonna call her
KAYLA: Oh, I thought it said married at first and I was like, no
SARAH: No, no her name is Mary
KAYLA: Great
SARAH: At a party in 2016. About a year ago, someone reached out to me and told me she knew Mary and her now six-year-old son was mine
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: This person hadn't known my name until meeting another friend of mine and they figured it out. Apparently, Mary had started dating someone, John, just after we hooked up then found out she was pregnant
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Mary and John got serious, got married and John adopted my son. After I found out…
KAYLA: So, John knew it wasn't his kid?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: After I found out I got a lawyer and I filed for custody in my state
KAYLA: Why?
[00:40:00]
SARAH: Mary and John fought me through the whole process telling me to not break up their family (they have a younger daughter) after lots of legal fees I finally forced a paternity test and I got every other weekend, my intent is to keep pushing until I have 50-50 custody. I looked into reversing the adoption but it's basically impossible so I’ll probably have to wait until my son is 18 and then do it with his consent. I have been having my son over for the past few months and it has been great, he gets along with my girlfriend too, he understands that I’m his father but of course he calls John dad. I’m not trying to get him to stop that because I don't want to confuse him or make him uneasy, but last weekend I told him that he can call me dad too instead of Mr last name like his mom told him to. He seemed fine with it and called me dad while he was with me, his mom found out and has been pestering me all week saying I’m a sperm donor
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: And that John is his real dad and she'll take me to court for parental alienation
KAYLA: I don't think… is that a real thing?
SARAH: I don't know. The last thing she said was that I could be an uncle but my son only has one dad. I’m ignoring most of what she said but I’m kind of confused, am I the asshole?
KAYLA: I just wish I had more information about like how he went about asking for custody because the way it's written out makes it sound like he found out he had this kid, lawyered up, and then fought for custody before like trying to establish a relationship with the kid
SARAH: I… that wasn't the vibe that I got
KAYLA: Which like I can't… Okay.
SARAH: I mean…
KAYLA: That would be weird
SARAH: I got the vibe that like he did try but they were like, no, this is our family, you can't mess up our family and that’s when he lawyered up
KAYLA: And so, he had to
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Yeah, that would make more sense. Um, I don't… I mean…
SARAH: That's so insane because it seems like their argument is like, well, you're a sperm donor, you weren't even around, it's like, well, how is he supposed to know?
KAYLA: Well, he didn’t… Yeah, he didn't know
SARAH: He didn’t know
KAYLA: To be around
SARAH: The only reason he knows now is because of a fluke
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like because of a friend of a friend figured it out
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't think he's the asshole, I think… I’m confused
SARAH: Yeah. Also, like calling his biological father dad doesn't ruin her family, it doesn't break up the family
KAYLA: Right. It doesn't make the other guy less of also his dad
SARAH: Yeah. Like I know people who are adopted who I… the person I’m thinking of is adopted, their adopted father has since died but they refer to him as dad, but they also have a relationship with their biological father and they still see him to this day
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And they also call him dad, they're both dad
KAYLA: Yeah. Well, it's like if you have like a stepdad
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like you can both be dad
SARAH: Also, like if you're gay
KAYLA: You can have… there can be more than one
SARAH: Like would the mom be okay with it if they used a different word that still meant dad?
KAYLA: Like what?
SARAH: Like, well… because… okay, so like…
KAYLA: Like papa
SARAH: Yeah. Like my godfather who is a gay man, his daughter she calls one of them dad or daddy and the other one papa
KAYLA: I don't… I get the feeling that that is not the issue this woman is having
SARAH: I also get the feeling but like I feel like maybe he should like suggest that as an option
KAYLA: I guess
SARAH: Because if she then says no to that then it's clear what her real intentions are
KAYLA: Yes, I mean I think it's… I think it's already obvious that her issue is just that he is taking some sort of father role
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And I mean it seems like by not telling him at all that this child existed she was trying to avoid like the split family dynamic
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: All together and try to create like a ‘normal’ nuclear family
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: But like…
SARAH: That's not the only way to do it
KAYLA: You can’t… It’s not the only way to do it and also like you… it's… the ship has sailed
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like that's just not what happened
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like it happened… you know?
SARAH: Yeah. And clearly like obviously this woman's husband knows it's not his kid
KAYLA: Right, so it's not like it was some big secret
SARAH: No
KAYLA: That I could understand a little bit more
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: If… like that would at least add another layer to the dynamic of like…
SARAH: I wonder if the kid knew before his biological dad came in his life
KAYLA: I would… I kind of feel like maybe… well, I don't know, I feel like that would have been stated. Well, so I don't know
SARAH: I’m… yeah. I’m really not sure
KAYLA: Six? I don’t know.
SARAH: Yeah, if it's like five or six
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I don't know
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know about that
SARAH: I don't know if you would explain that to a kid of that age
KAYLA: Yeah, I don’t know it either
SARAH: Especially if you wanted to maintain the illusion that you're like this classic nuclear family
KAYLA: Right, yeah
SARAH: So
KAYLA: Yeah, that’s weird
SARAH: I mean, props to John for like sticking around and like not being like, oh, this woman I just started dating is pregnant, gotta run, gotta blast
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like for being like, no, like I’ll be a father…
KAYLA: That’s nice
SARAH: I’ll be a father to this kid, like that's nice, but…
KAYLA: Yeah, and obviously it worked out. I mean it seems it worked out, they have another kid
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, it's… you know
SARAH: It doesn't seem like it was a situation where it was a one-night stand and like they didn't even know each other's name like she couldn't have reached out to him
KAYLA: Right
SARAH: Like they clearly have some level of mutual friends
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: So… clearly, they're not that close to each other otherwise he would have learned before the child was six
KAYLA: Yeah, yeah
SARAH: But like there's… you know, there are… there can't be that many degrees removed between them
KAYLA: Right
SARAH: So, it’s like….
KAYLA: It kind of feels like she should have known this was going to happen eventually if it seemed like it was pretty easy for him to find out in the end…
SARAH: Like…
KAYLA: The people that needed to be together were together
SARAH: Right. And also, like the…. it wasn't like he was talking to a friend and he figured it out
KAYLA: Right
SARAH: Like the friend of a friend figured it out themselves and brought it to him
KAYLA: Right. Which must make it pretty obvious
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So…
KAYLA: I don't know what she… I just don't understand what she expected
SARAH: Like did she expect that maybe if he did someday found out, he would just want nothing to do with this kid? Like…
KAYLA: I guess that was probably her hope
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But also, it seems like they still live maybe in the same area
SARAH: In the same general area
KAYLA: You could have… if that… if you're really that worried about it you should have moved
SARAH: Yeah. It's like let the kid have two dads, it's okay
KAYLA: I think it's okay
SARAH: Like especially since this person seems to be like a… like a good person and like a thoughtful person, like…
KAYLA: Well, it’s also, he said that the kid was like adjusting well
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It's not like the child seems in distress
SARAH: And people are all worried about like boys having like strong male figures, it's like…
KAYLA: Now he has too
SARAH: Oh, no, not another strong male figure in…
KAYLA: What are you gonna do? What are we gonna do?
SARAH: What? And like he doesn't have to become the dad of your daughter, because he's not
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But like, what are we doing here?
KAYLA: He can be around. Like also now you have a baked in like babysitter
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like especially if you got along well now he can watch your daughter if you want to like fuck off and go on vacation
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like why aren't you happy? Why aren't you excited?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: This could have been like a really good co-parenting situation
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It's not like you had to go through some messy divorce and that affects your co-parenting.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Like you already… you could have just like… there was barely a relationship there, you could have just started fresh
SARAH: It seems like she has some like weird control and ownership issues over herself
KAYLA: Yes, it does feel like she wants to have complete control over how the child is being raised
SARAH: Mm-hmm. And she's not thinking of him as a sentient creature with his own needs and thoughts and feelings
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And she is thinking of him only as an extension of herself
KAYLA: That's a good point because then… like what is this child going to think when he becomes like 18 or an adult?
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: And like… because eventually the kid is going to find out that there were these issues in the beginning
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like that stuff comes out in the end
SARAH: If he doesn't already know, like…
KAYLA: Right. If he doesn't already… if he already isn't able to sense that there's these issues
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Then like that stuff comes out and then what is he gonna think?
SARAH: Well, and for custody cases wouldn't he at least need to be in court? Like, I mean, they wouldn't have the kids sitting in court the whole time, but wouldn't they talk to the kid?
KAYLA: I do think…
SARAH: Or is he too young where they…
KAYLA: I would need to ask… we have a friend who works in family court, who deals with this shit all the time
SARAH: We do?
KAYLA: And I often hear about…
SARAH: Who's we?
KAYLA: Yes. Us, me and you
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: I don't think it's a secret. But I often hear about her… like she tells me about her cases often.
SARAH: I forgot she was doing that
KAYLA: She does do that. And she has talked before about what involvement children have and… but I don’t remember
SARAH: I think it's like, if they're 13 or older they have a significant say but it also probably varies state to state
KAYLA: I would imagine they would maybe at least interview the kid, I don’t know
SARAH: I think they would, I think they would have to, unless it was like an infant, you know
KAYLA: Well, yeah, obviously
SARAH: Like if this kid can walk and talk and go to school like this kid can answer questions
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, that's the tea
KAYLA: That is the tea
SARAH: And this has been your child edition of Reddit Rabbit Hole
KAYLA: You're welcome. And you know what I won't be giving that child though?
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: The baseball I caught, he can have two dads, he cannot have my baseball
SARAH: Can he have the name Neville?
KAYLA: I wish he wouldn't
SARAH: Okay. The only other Neville I can think of is the… isn't there an Evil Neville and iCarly?
KAYLA: Oh, that sounds like something that would be, it… yeah
SARAH: Like the evil tech kid?
KAYLA: Let me look at it
[00:50:00]
SARAH: Isn't his name Neville?
KAYLA: Neville? Neville does either give evil child or like nerd sad child
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Neville, iCarly, it's not loading
SARAH: Okay, yes, it's spelled weird, it's spelled N-E-V-E-L
KAYLA: Oh, yeah, but it is his name
SARAH: Nevel Papperman
KAYLA: He is the evil one
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So
SARAH: So, those are the only two Nevels I know, so
KAYLA: No, it doesn't bode well
SARAH: No. All right, Kayla, our poll for this week is about baseballs?
KAYLA: Do you do I have to… Are you obligated to give the child next to you the baseball when you catch it at the game?
SARAH: I think it depends on a lot of factors including how close the child was to catching the ball themselves, like were they… did they almost have it and you swooped in?
KAYLA: No, I caught it fair and square, I didn't like snatch it right from in front of the kid
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: It was clearly coming for me and I got it, but there happens to be a child next to me
SARAH: How much does this child care about baseball?
KAYLA: I don't know
SARAH: Like is the kid really interested?
KAYLA: Let's say yes, do I still have to do it?
SARAH: Yeah, that's tough
KAYLA: Because like I’ve seen this happen where an adult clearly catches the ball and then like turns to the kid behind them and is like, here you go, I’m being a nice guy, do I have to do that?
SARAH: I think if there was no chance…
KAYLA: Because everyone in the crowd is always like, aah, but do… I get it, that's nice, do I have to though?
SARAH: I think if there was no chance the child was going to catch the ball
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Then you can…
KAYLA: There's no chance
SARAH: Then you can keep it
KAYLA: Now I can keep it, okay
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: I understand if I snatched it, like the kid was about to catch it and I snatched it
SARAH: Right, or like…
KAYLA: Then I never should have had it in the first place
SARAH: Or like if it could have been an equal fight between the two of you but you used your height to your advantage
KAYLA: Sure, I get it, though I still think that like…
SARAH: And snatched it out of the sky where they couldn't reach
KAYLA: Yeah, but I… again, I feel like I should… I got… I caught it
SARAH: You won fair and square
KAYLA: Be taller, I don't know
SARAH: Be taller, grow up
KAYLA: Exactly
SARAH: I think my voice has gotten worse over the course of this podcast
KAYLA: Great
SARAH: So, everyone can just kind of hear the progression of my voice going away
KAYLA: Good
SARAH: Kayla what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: My beef is that… it keeps leaking, radiator just keeps leaking, and I don't quite know what to do about that. My juice is I met my nephew and he's very sweet
SARAH: Babies
KAYLA: He was very good. And also, my sister shared a video of him sneezing yesterday and I’ve watched it like 20 times, it's really funny, he sneezes with his entire body
SARAH: Amazing.
KAYLA: It’s crazy
SARAH: Well, there's not much body there, so, like…
KAYLA: Exactly
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Yeah, he really had to put the whole body into it
SARAH: Okay, great. My beef is the fact that I’m not gonna have a washer and dryer until Monday
KAYLA: Yeah, that’s fair
SARAH: My other my other beef is that I have this malaise, this illness that was getting worse for like five days straight
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Like it just wouldn't go away and like it's finally getting a little bit better and I’ve acquired more drugs but like Monday night I slept 10 hours
KAYLA: Good
SARAH: Wednesday night, we were supposed to podcast Wednesday
KAYLA: We did not
SARAH: I went to bed at 7:30, I slept for 11 hours on Wednesday night and I woke up in the morning and I was like, I don't really feel that much better
KAYLA: Good. Good.
SARAH: So, there's that. My juice is… I don't know, I do think cough drops are good. I never had them as a child
KAYLA: We had like the general kind, I never got the kind… I don't know if you're using the kind of that kind of like numbs your throat
SARAH: Yeah, I have the menthol kind
KAYLA: Yeah, I never had that until I was an adult
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And I wasn't aware of that as a child
SARAH: Yeah. All right, well, we also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod if you'd like to support us there. Our $5 patrons who we're promoting this week are Philip Rueker, Phoenix Eliot, Rachel, Rebekah Monnin and a person who has asked to not get a shout out, who I usually just skip
KAYLA: Great
SARAH: But this week I will say thank you to that person
KAYLA: Okay, good
SARAH: We also have a new $5 patron, it's someone that used to be a patron and is still on my list
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, I’m just not gonna say your name because I’ve been saying your name
KAYLA: Yeah, the thing is that people need to understand is Patreon alerts us when we get a new patron but they do not alert us when someone stops being a patron. So, we have to like go in and manually check and you know us
SARAH: We don’t
KAYLA: We are not doing that
SARAH: We don't do that
KAYLA: We don't, we don't do that, we very rarely do that, so
SARAH: Anyway, well, you know what?
KAYLA: Just get it free
SARAH: Bronwyn Herron thank you for re-patroning
KAYLA: Yeah, thank you
SARAH: The same situation for our $10 patrons, unless it's another Parker, it could be that it’s a different Parker
KAYLA: It's not because they sent a message
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: And they said, I’ve been gone for a while and just came back only to find that I was… my name has still been being said
SARAH: Amazing
KAYLA: So
SARAH: Well, thanks to Parker
KAYLA: Welcome
SARAH: Our other $10 patrons who would like to promote something this week are Bones who would like to promote Patreon adding a feature
KAYLA: It would be nice
SARAH: Where it tells you if someone unpatrons
KAYLA: It would be great, maybe they just don't want to make people sad, but like, we would just like to know
SARAH: I would just like to know. Celina Dobson who would like to promote the Critical Role Foundation, Clare Olsen who would like to promote @Impact_Frame and Derick & Carissa who would like to promote supporting each other through the transitions we face. Our other $10 patrons are Elle Bitter, my aunt Jeannie, Kayla’s dad, Maff, Martin Chiesl, Olivia O’Shea, Parker (who we have been continually naming even when they were not a patron)
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Phoenix Leodinh, Purple Hayes, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm, Val, Alastor, Alyson, Ani, Arcnes and Benjamin Ybarra. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Andrew Hillum who would like to promote the Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Hector Murillo who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com. This is extra hard to do when there's like a tiny little bit left of a cough drop in your mouth
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And it's like, if I’m not careful, I’ll choke on it
KAYLA: That's… yeah, fair
SARAH: Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla’s Aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggartart.com and Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are Dragonfly, Dr Jacki, my mom and River who would like to promote me losing my voice over the course of this podcast, it's gone, good bye.
KAYLA: All right, it really does… it… yeah, it really is.
SARAH: They should probably promote a good thing too, um, they will promote my mom being on the phone with me yesterday telling me what medications I should take. Um, thanks for listening…
KAYLA: Good, very helpful
SARAH: Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]
