Sounds Fake But Okay
Sounds Fake But Okay
Ep 327: Same Podcast, One Year Apart (The Fifth Year)
Hey what's up hello! For our last episode of the year we're returning to our annual tradition of recording the same episode one year apart, a la the Billie Eilish Vanity Fair interviews.
Thank you for another fantastic year! We are so grateful for you all and will be back in your ears in 2025!
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/same-podcast-one-year-apart-the-fifth-year
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SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I'm Sarah, that's me)
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual girl (That's me Kayla)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand
KAYLA: On today's episode, ‘same podcast one year apart, the fifth’
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay
KAYLA: It's the most last episode of the year
SARAH: What if I just started with that? What if I cut off everything else we just said and it just… it's doo, doo, doo, doo, doo and then it just, it’s the most last…
KAYLA: I think you should, but then also keep this
SARAH: Perfect
KAYLA: Great.
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod
KAYLA: Hello. Hello
SARAH: Hi everyone. You may notice my voice is still a little messed up. Well, let me tell you…
KAYLA: Not fun
SARAH: Let me tell you something, my voice got messed up during the podcast last week. We recorded it on Friday. It is now the following Wednesday
KAYLA: It’s still messed up.
SARAH: It's still messed up. At least it wasn't like… it's not like Sunday, on Sunday I…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Sounded insane
KAYLA: Podcasting is a dangerous business
SARAH: It’s a really dangerous business
KAYLA: They don't tell you about all the injuries that you can get from podcasting
SARAH: But it does lead to great TikToks. I'm very proud of that TikTok I made.
KAYLA: You did do a good… and I was really proud of my comment on the TikTok. So, thank you
SARAH: Yeah, it was good.
KAYLA: Thanks
SARAH: I made a TikTok when I had no voice, that was me doing wicked Karaoke except I had no voice.
KAYLA: Yeah, really bad
SARAH: So, it was just bad
KAYLA: And I said, JoJo Siwa looks different here because Sarah sounded like when JoJo Siwa is trying to sing but it's like really raspy and bad.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, great stuff all around
SARAH: I guess if you want to know what my voice would have sounded like if we had podcasted on Sunday, boy howdy, do I have to TikTok for you?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Uh, Kayla do we have any housekeeping? Yeah, we do, this is the last one
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Not ever, just this year
KAYLA: Just this one
SARAH: Just this time.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: We will be back on whatever day we said we would be back. Sarah, stop moving your mouth around your microphone, challenge. I noticed I did that a lot last week and I would hear it move around in my ears when I was editing and I was like, I don't like this at all.
KAYLA: Oh my God
SARAH: We're coming back on the 19th. Yeah, the 19th of January is when we'll be back
KAYLA: Slay
SARAH: So, look forward to that, hoping you all have a lovely holiday season. Shall we begin?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: Kayla?
KAYLA: Yep
SARAH: What are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week is our fifth installment of ‘Same Podcast, One Year Apart’ a la, the Billie Eilish Vanity Fair interviews, we are going to be answering the same questions that we have answered for the past five years, so we can… I don't know, reflect on our growth and what not. I became… and if you're listening to this like in the time it comes out, I think you'll probably like know why I'm saying this, I became very aware this week of our digital footprint and that if I were to ever commit a crime…
SARAH: Oh, I was like, why?
KAYLA: If I were to ever commit a crime, which I haven't, they could really…
SARAH: Kayla has never gone one over the speed limit.
KAYLA: No, never.
SARAH: Never
KAYLA: I’ve never done that.
SARAH: It's because Kayla never drives.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's true, I hate driving. But I was just… I really became painfully aware that wow if people ever really wanted to do a deep dive on our lives, they really could
SARAH: Oh yeah
KAYLA: They really could find out a lot of personal details.
SARAH: Oh, yeah. I've just accepted…. I've recently was trying to internet-stalk someone that I worked with
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And I told him about this because I was trying to figure out what year he was born in
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Because I thought he was older than me, like that was the vibe I got
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But then he sent me a picture of an art he did and on it, it said ‘99
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: And I was like…
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Was that the year you were born? And so, I was trying to find online what year he was born but like this dude does not exist on the internet. And so, I texted him and I was like, what fucking year were you born in? And he was like, what? Would you like to know? And I was like, yeah, I fucking want
KAYLA: Yes, I would
SARAH: And he is still… he refused to tell me. I eventually did some like very deep diving and I found a Facebook post he made in a group about Italy
KAYLA: Oh, I love it
SARAH: Because I couldn't find him anywhere else, and I was like, oh, okay, you were born in 1999, that's terrifying
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Why did I say this? Oh, but I was like, I understand that I'm very easy to stalk online and he was like, yeah, you are
KAYLA: Oh, yeah
SARAH: And I was like, yeah, I know.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's all right there
SARAH: It's easy.
KAYLA: If you look up our names, especially mine because like no one else has my name
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like it's ever… all of it. So much shit comes up when you just google me
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: And even for you, you like rank highly among the Sarah Costellos now
SARAH: Hell, yeah
KAYLA: Congratulations
SARAH: Hell, yeah
KAYLA: Anyway, let's dirty our digital footprint a bit more
SARAH: Even more. Well, I mean Kayla just don't ever shoot a healthcare CEO
KAYLA: Damnit
SARAH: I know
KAYLA: There goes my Saturday
SARAH: Damn. Um, okay, are you ready?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: I knew you were, I just asked that because I wanted to take a sip of my pop
KAYLA: It took me like a second to say yes, though, it's not like you… Okay
SARAH: I'm gonna have to edit out all those pauses anyway
KAYLA: I guess. Okay, I just don't quite see the point, but carry on
SARAH: Question number one, what's your name?
KAYLA: Kayla Marie Kaszyca
SARAH: See, this is not helping with your digital footprint.
KAYLA: I think I've said this, last year
SARAH: Yeah, I know but…
KAYLA: I'm gonna pull up last year
SARAH: Please do because I will have… because remember how last year I would… kept being like well, worse than last year, better than last year
KAYLA: Yes, yes
SARAH: But then I wouldn't know what I said last year? I'm gonna do that again
KAYLA: Okay, well, let me just get past all of our yapping from last year
SARAH: Okay, Kayla's name is Kayla Marie Kaszyca.
KAYLA: I said this... Okay. Here's what happened last year
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: You said, what is your name? I said, my name is Kayla Marie Kaszyca. You said, wow, you're just doxxing yourself. So, the same conversation. And I bet if we went back to the year before that, it would be the same
SARAH: My name is Sarah, you know my middle name, Costello.
KAYLA: Last year you said, my name is Sarah Costello, if you want to find my middle name, it's not that hard to find but you gotta do the work yourself.
SARAH: I know I said that last year, that's why I won't… It's my little bit now that I will not say my middle name on this podcast
KAYLA: Well
SARAH: It's easy to find
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: It's easy to even guess
KAYLA: Yeah, it is
SARAH: But I won't say it on this podcast out of spite
KAYLA: Okay, it fine
SARAH: Who am I beefing with?
KAYLA: Yourself?
SARAH: I don't know. Great, what's today's date? It is Wednesday, December 11th, 2024
KAYLA: At 11:27 p.m. Eastern time.
SARAH: No. It's 8:27 p.m. Pacific time. Thank you.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: And it's 10:27 p.m. Central time and it's 9:27 p.m. Mountain time, but we're not in either of those time zones
KAYLA: No, that's true
SARAH: How old are you?
KAYLA: 27.
SARAH: 27
KAYLA: And the only reason I answered that so fast is because I was looking at last year's transcript where I said I was 26
SARAH: Great
KAYLA: Because recently someone asked me how old I was and it took me an extremely long time to answer
SARAH: I admire how bad you are at knowing how old you are.
KAYLA: It's because of Covid, before then I was good, but Covid really…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Also, like I feel like that all the late 20s, like 25 to 30s, you're the same age
SARAH: Well, I know how old I am because it was my birthday and I was like… And it was my Pride and Prejudice birthday
KAYLA: Right, which is important.
SARAH: Yeah. So, well, I remember… Ew, I’m gonna be 28 next year
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: You know what’s more terrifying? My sister is gonna be 29 next year.
KAYLA: I think my sister is already 30.
SARAH: I think she is too
KAYLA: Are you 30? She's listening. Are you 30? I think she is
SARAH: Rachel are you 30? The other day my sister asked me what the age difference between you and your sister was and I guessed, I wasn’t sure
KAYLA: I think it's like two and a half
SARAH: Yeah, because…
KAYLA: Two-ish
SARAH: The person was like, isn't it similar to you and your sister? And I was like, I think there's an extra, I think there's an extra one in there.
KAYLA: Well, because your sister was a year above us, right? At school.
SARAH: Was Rachel two years above?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Okay, I was right then
KAYLA: At school, she was two years above me, yeah
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: So, yeah, it's like two-ish years difference
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Now I'm doxxing my sister
SARAH: Great
KAYLA: Rats
SARAH: How do you identify?
KAYLA: Bi-romantic demisexual woman
SARAH: Whoman
KAYLA: Whoman
SARAH: Whoman. I identify aro-ace, baby. And I am baby
KAYLA: And you are baby?
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: I see
[00:10:00]
SARAH: I identify as baby
KAYLA: You're not gonna… No movement of the gender this year? We got to the check-in, we got to see…
SARAH: I have a manifesto, we'll get to it later
KAYLA: Oh, oh
SARAH: Is it later? Is there time? Will I do it later? Do I have to do it now? I'm looking at the list
KAYLA: Okay. I think it might be time now.
SARAH: I think I have to do it now. Damn. I was really hoping to like ramp up to the manifesto
KAYLA: That's really tough, but it is time, I think
SARAH: Damn it. Okay…
KAYLA: It is the yearly gender check-in
SARAH: Are you ready for a manifesto?
KAYLA: Yeah, I am, because I have no idea what you're about to say
SARAH: Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Wait, I want to start this, with a question for you.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: What do you think my gender is?
KAYLA: Like if I had to assign you a gender, what would I assign you?
SARAH: Yeah, like gender assigned by Kayla. Assigned…
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: Assigned gender by Kayla.
KAYLA: Assigned gender by Kayla. Okay, so… Okay. Wow, I was not prepared for this question
SARAH: He he he he he
KAYLA: Are you like about to come out? Am I like guessing?
SARAH: No, no, not necessarily. No
KAYLA: Okay, I could see you being agender, I could see you pulling a AAA
SARAH: Haha, I would be like the car people, you know?
KAYLA: Or the battery, very good.
SARAH: Or the battery. Well, right now I'm already a battery
KAYLA: That’s true
SARAH: I'm just a bigger battery and I would be a smaller battery
KAYLA: Smaller battery, yeah.
SARAH: All right, interesting. Okay, here's my thing. Here's my thing, I'm still kind of like yeah, whatever
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: But part of me is like, should I just put on the internet that my pronouns are she/they not because I necessarily want people to ‘they’ me, like I'm fine with it, if… I'm fine with it if you do
KAYLA: Uh-huh.
SARAH: I nailed that
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I'm fine with it if you do but like I'm also fine with being SHEed for the rest of my life, you know?
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Um, like I don't feel the need to ask people to make a change. But the reason why I would be like, mm, maybe I should just put that on the internet, is because it is a signal to a community that like, hey, I'm sort of existing in the same space as you, like, mm, you know? Do you get? Do you understand what I mean by that?
KAYLA: I do understand what you mean
SARAH: Because like my gender doesn't necessarily feel significantly different than it did a year ago
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But I also don't want people to look at me and be like, mm, that's a… you know? Do you understand?
KAYLA: So, you don't want people to look at you and say that's a woman?
SARAH: No, I'm fine with that
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: See, this is the problem I cannot describe it very well
KAYLA: I'm just trying to… I guess for me, I'm just wondering about the utility of… It's not so much that you want someone to ‘they’ you
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It's just you wouldn't mind if they did
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, to me, I'm wondering about like the utility of like… Because like for me if someone THEYed me, I wouldn't be like offended
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But that doesn't make me feel the need to like add that to my list of pronouns
SARAH: I think for me it's that I still have that level of like apathy
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like that like that level of female gender apathy
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And so, I feel like adding that pronoun would convey to other people that there's something a little Funky about my experience of gender.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: End of sentence
KAYLA: I get that. I think in a queer community that is easily conveyed.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I don't know that you could take that outside of the queer community and have people understand like what you're asking for
SARAH: Right. And I think… There's also part of me that looks at that and is like is that bad? Like is that… would that be cosplaying as something I'm not?
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: Just so I can feel like accepted in a particular space
KAYLA: Right
SARAH: Like to take on this identity as like a bat signal
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Rather than like a projection of my inner they
KAYLA: I did have that thought too, it is like are you taking it on because that's how you want to be… Because that is how you identify?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Or because that's how you want to be seen? And are those connected? Somewhat, yes, but…
SARAH: Am I shoulding myself into this corner?
KAYLA: Mm, I see
SARAH: You know?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Um, but then I also think like if I'm asking that question isn't that kind of proof that like I do have a place in that space? Like because… like if a person does not have these like interrogative thoughts about their own gender and like what it means and like to what extent it matters like they're not gonna feel compelled to roll up to that space to begin with
KAYLA: Right
SARAH: Um, I have more manifesto, it keeps going
KAYLA: Wow, I'm shocked
SARAH: Hold on. I gotta scan it.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: It has been a while
KAYLA: Was this written in prep for this episode or these are your general musings?
SARAH: The first thing was written like in the middle of the night in September.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: With this episode in mind, knowing that I was going to be asked about it.
KAYLA: You were going to be asked your yearly checkup?
SARAH: Yeah. And then I had a follow-up in October that's even longer
KAYLA: Great, okay
SARAH: Okay, we're gonna fly through this.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: Like I don't know that calling myself non-binary like would feel right or accurate, because like again as I've said in past years like I do feel some connection to like the woman of it all but the woman of it all that I feel that connection to continues to be a social structure and a social construct not necessarily an inherent understanding of womanhood and like what it is to be a woman. And like, I'm not far enough away necessarily that I want to use the term non-binary but I also don't feel that womanhood should be binary restrictive at all. And like isn't that the definition of non-binary?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: But that's referring to gender as a whole, not necessarily my own presentation of it. But also, is it?
KAYLA: This reminds me… and I feel like maybe I've said this before, this reminds me a lot of the concept of being a non-binary lesbian.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Of like, because it is not a binary you can be non-binary but like towards the feminine end of that spectrum if you know what… like…
SARAH: Yeah, yeah
KAYLA: Does that make sense?
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I don't know, that's just what came to my mind.
SARAH: I know… I'm thinking of someone who identifies as a… like is a non-binary lesbian who's like pretty butch presenting and has two different names that they go by
KAYLA: Slay
SARAH: And I remember at some point in the… some… in the last year, they were like, hey, I think I prefer this name over what I assume is their birth name
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And they're like, I'm still fine with you calling me either but like I've kind of switched what my kind of preferred one is
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And it's a much more ungendered name
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But it's like that person is still… they're a butch non-binary lesbian, like that can all exist at the same time
KAYLA: Yeah. I recently saw someone online call themselves a bisexual lesbian and people were getting really mad at them and I was like, I don't know, I kind of get it. I kind of get what you're saying. Like I can't… I don't know
SARAH: Okay, so, here's my conclusion from September, in conclusion, I am not sure much has materially changed in the past year about how I feel and how identify, but I'm also not sure how much I still want to be associated with the strict gender binary
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Which may in turn lead to a change, if that makes sense. Like I genuinely wish I could just put she/her I guess/I don't care as my pronouns everywhere. But like that doesn't work on like… I was gonna say the US Census but the US Census doesn't have pronouns on it
KAYLA: Yeah, no, it doesn’t
SARAH: But like a Google form, you know? Like in real-life adulting settings. But you can't do that in real-life adulting settings without looking wishy-washy or unprofessional, which I am, but we don't want to telegraph that as a first impression, future employers who may be listening to this podcast, this is a joke, you are laughing
KAYLA: Yeah. It's really funny.
SARAH: Employ me
KAYLA: I think it's again the thing of like what spaces you're in
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Are you in a queer space? Because then you could say that and people would be like, me too. But if you're at work and it's a bunch of straight people who have learned that you're supposed to start with your pronouns now…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And you throw that out, people are gonna be like, huh?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like you're gonna confuse the olds, unfortunately
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I would love to hear non-binary genderqueer thoughts on this
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I don't know if you would, so you don't have to invite that if you don't want to, but I would…
SARAH: Yeah, that’s fine, sure
KAYLA: But I’d be interested in hearing if people have had similar thoughts in the past
SARAH: Um, okay, here's my follow-up that I'm not gonna do all of because it seems like there's too much. Um, but this was like not long before the election and I was thinking, RIP, and I was thinking about how… I was thinking about the 2024 election in comparison to how I was thinking about the 2016 election and how I like felt less connected to the like potential like first female president which obviously is not happening
KAYLA: Yeah
[00:20:00]
SARAH: But like, I feel like in 2016 I was like, yeah, like first female… like I have my shirt that was like, future is female, like, yeah, and like…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I do think part of that was maybe naivety and part of that was maybe like optimism that turned out to be misplaced and now I'm just super-jaded and I'm like, fuck it, nothing matters. But this cycle I was not like oh, yay, like first female president, I was like that wasn't something I was thinking about at all
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And I think partially… I think in general people were talking less about it because they realized that last time it didn't do us any good
KAYLA: Yeah, it wasn’t exciting in the end
SARAH: But because… like I'm just less invested in the gender binary now.
KAYLA: Sure
SARAH: And so, like I… and so like I haven't… like I still have my ‘future is female’ shirt but I haven't worn it in like years
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But… and that… I'm like, should I get rid of it? Because like I'm not the demographic for it anymore
KAYLA: No, yeah
SARAH: Like I don't know, like I want to take that shirt, and like just take a sharpie and write like, and non-binary and trans and…
KAYLA: And everything
SARAH: And everything. And I was listening to a podcast or an interview of Alyssa Mastromonaco with Nancy Pelosi and Alyssa co-hosts the Hysteria Podcast which is like a political podcast that's based on women and their point of view. And I don't listen to Hysteria but I do… I like the hosts of Hysteria, like I like both of them. And so, when I listen to this interview, I was surprised because it… Alyssa and Nancy Pelosi were talking a lot about like the glass ceiling and Congress and blah blah blah blah blah and I was just like, ugh, like this could also just be a result of me getting like more and more left-leaning as I get older which contrary to what boomers will tell you is exactly what is happening. But like the whole conversation like felt kind of like simplistic and like Neolib, I was like, yeah, like okay the glass like will work but like it's more… it's bigger than just the binary. And then I was taken aback when they were saying that Congress is only 28% female because I did expect that number to be a little higher
KAYLA: See, this is… yes. I do think…
SARAH: We live in a bubble
KAYLA: I think the problem is that we live in a bubble because I had a similar experience where the class I am taking is like an organizational psychology class, so it's like psychology of the workplace and one of our topics was leadership and then a subtopic was gender in leadership and when I saw that… and they… there's actually at the school an entire course on gender in leadership that I had looked into for a bit and then my thought was like I am not gonna be super interested in this class because it's going to be very binary
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And it's also gonna be like shit I probably already know. However, and my professor actually brought this up. He was like, I understand that the conversation we're having right now is extremely binary but… and he brought up like the 28% of women in Congress like it's like 20% of Fortune 500 CEOs or less are women
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like the rates of just like leadership positions for women are just like astonishingly low and I think…yeah, you, in your mind do think it's more?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And so, I think that's the problem is like people like us we're like it's so far beyond that we need to like push further
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But in reality, we are still so far behind
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That it's like the world is not ready for those conversations yet if we’re still at 28% of women in Congress
SARAH: Exactly. And there's a big part of me that's like I… Like obviously it's important to like have women in these positions of power but like focusing on the firsts and the woman of it all and disregarding the actual impact these women are having like that's not necessarily the conversation I want to be having, like I have zero words to celebrate the win of Marjorie Taylor Greene being in Congress when she is out there being Marjorie Taylor Greene
KAYLA: No
SARAH: And so, I think sometimes when we focus on like, oh, first woman, first blah, blah, blah, first… but like if we talk about it more as a collective, if we talk about that like 28% number then it's like, I feel like that…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I'm like, okay. I'm on board. Stop talking about MTG, you know? Um, I also think the other thing that made me think about this in regards to this election, it turns out I am gonna read the whole manifesto
KAYLA: Okay, great
SARAH: Is that in the wake of Roe v. Wade being overturned and abortion no longer being legal as a federal overarching thing in the United States
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So much of the conversation in the election this year was about bodily autonomy and abortion and in its own way motherhood, and as a sex averse asexual person who has no interest in having kids and has been incredibly lucky to not have had any first-hand experience thus far in my life with SA, knock on wood. Is that wood? My head is wood. Um, like I don't feel personally connected to that issue in the same way that many other women do because I don't consider like, oh, like I could have an unplanned pregnancy at any time because I'm like, no, I couldn't
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And because so much of the focus this election cycle was rightfully the issue of abortion and that has bearing on how we're talking about womanhood in 2024 and in the context of that conversation like I don't feel represented by that definition of womanhood
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And like obviously like I don't pretend that I could never be impacted by abortion laws like I understand that shit happens.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But like I also understand that in a lot of ways like my connection to the issue of abortion is one step removed.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like sort of like it might be if I were like a man married to a woman who needed abortion care but it was not that woman themselves and so like my privilege also plays into that because I knew that if something happened and I ever needed an abortion for any reason like I could probably find a way to get one
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And so, like despite being AFAB and being the exact age demographic most impacted by this abortion issue like I don't feel like I'm on the front line of it, I care a lot about it and I care about it… but I care about it because of other people, not so much because of myself
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, I think that impacted my relationship to womanhood in relation to the election and how I was thinking about it that way.
KAYLA: I think that makes sense.
SARAH: Blah blah blah blah blah blah. In conclusion, I was like, okay, I need to step back and think… like because to going back to this thing with Alyssa and Nancy Pelosi, I was like you're talking… it seems like you're talking about it as like a one or two-dimensional issue. Like we're so far past that why we are still talking about it in this way? But then I have to take a step back and realize that I operate in a very different world than like your median female voter in the United States
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But then I have to ask myself why that is and there's a large part of me that's saying like once you get put on these aspec… once you put on your little aspec glasses, Bing, Bing, Bing
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Once you detach yourself from… even partially from the chokehold of the gender binary and the should, should, should, like how can anyone not feel a certain distance from their gender assigned at birth? But then I wondered, is that really universal or is that a sign that I am not so cis? End
KAYLA: That's a great question, I mean, I think… and I think we've heard this from aspec people before is that, especially women, well, I think it could go for any gender really, but so much of being a woman and the definition of being a woman is around the relationships, like the sexual and romantic relationships you have like that is how you define the difference between a man and a woman is like how you interact in those relationships. And so, I think it makes total sense that you would feel a disconnect from what people are saying womanhood is
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: When you are not having those interactions
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: With people
SARAH: And in the 2016 election, I knew I was aro-ace but I was at the beginning of that journey and I was not like publicly out yet
KAYLA: Right. I know… yeah, you didn't fully have like the culture of the community.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I think like you were saying being fully embedded in the like understanding gender queerness in the aspec glasses, I do think it makes us pretty out of touch to be honest
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: With your average person
SARAH: And you don't realize it until…
KAYLA: And you have no idea.
SARAH: You're like slapped in the face by it, yeah
KAYLA: Right. Which is like… it's an interesting thing too, for… like for me going back to working in person and like working with… I previously had been working with like all people, my age, my demographic and going back into like a more normal work setting where it's like a lot of diverse people of a lot of age ranges, it really does slap you in the face of like, I am actually extremely out of touch and in a bubble
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Like with the way I'm thinking
SARAH: You're very in touch but in a way that is out of touch with other people
KAYLA: Yes. I am in touch with my community, I'm out of touch with like your average American.
SARAH: Yeah, so that's that, we should really just rename this podcast ‘Sarah's Gender Update’
KAYLA: ‘Sarah’s Gender Update’
SARAH: How many social media followers does the podcast have?
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: I don't know and I don't care, we don’t use them
KAYLA: I know, I'm… so, someone called me out on the Discord today… this week, too. They were like, when are they ever gonna post the poll on social media? I was like, I don’t know.
SARAH: I don’t know
KAYLA: Never. Our Instagram has 9,568 followers, we've been so close to 10,000 for like three years. Years actually.
SARAH: You know if we get up to 10,000 on TikTok, we can make money off of TikTok.
KAYLA: You are not… we got pretty… like, I think we're actually like not that far off on TikTok too
SARAH: We're in the 9000s on TikTok
KAYLA: There was a time where we were like really posting and it was like happening and then we just stopped
[00:30:00]
SARAH: Amazing
KAYLA: Eight thousand nine hundred and ninety, so
SARAH: Mm, astounding. The next question is how many Patreons do we have on… how many patrons we have on Patreon? I'm trying to check but I don't know how to work this fucking website.
KAYLA: Let me see if it'll show me on the app
SARAH: Audience. Oh, but it's confusing again because it added the free tier. So, it makes it really hard, hold on, I got to turn on the filters, active payment, paid members, apply filters, 113
KAYLA: Slay
SARAH: Cool.
KAYLA: I don't know
SARAH: I don’t know either
KAYLA: Our TikTok went down from last year
SARAH: Yeah, I was gonna say I thought I wasn't it at 9,000
KAYLA: It was, at the time
SARAH: Nice. I love becoming less popular, it's so great, like unironically
KAYLA: No, I love it. It's actually great for my mental health, it's actually so good for my mental health
SARAH: Completely unironically. And yet, do I have my Instagram fucking check-marked? No
KAYLA: Yeah. It's because you don't try frequently enough, you need to just keep trying.
SARAH: I don't have… I can't remember
KAYLA: Okay, should I… do I need to like remind you monthly? Like it’s time.
SARAH: Maybe.
KAYLA: Because that's how I did, is I just like periodically would be like I guess I'll try again, you just have to keep trying
SARAH: I tried again probably… it was probably maybe two or three months ago, I…
KAYLA: Okay, you've got to try again, you just got to keep trying, one day it'll happen.
SARAH: Do you have a job? If so, what is it? Yes, I'm at the same job I was at last time
KAYLA: I am not
SARAH: You never are
KAYLA: That's not true. I was at the same company for like two or three years and then I got laid off, laid the fuck off
SARAH: No, but I just feel like whenever we do this it's always…
KAYLA: That's not true because my last job I was there for two to three years, which would have spanned at least…
SARAH: Two to three years
KAYLA: I work at Harvard Law School
SARAH: Harvard Law School
KAYLA: Harvard Law School
SARAH: I work at a production company and I produce. No, I personally don't produce
KAYLA: You're there when the producing happens
SARAH: Well, I'm in the room where it happens, I give notes on things, producers do that
KAYLA: That sounds like a producing to me
SARAH: But I don't get credit.
KAYLA: I worked at my last company for three years and three months, so, get… with that
SARAH: Well, I've been at my current job for almost three years now, and that's terrifying. Where do you live? In my house
KAYLA: Me too, I also live in your house
SARAH: I still live in Los Angeles. I have lived in the same place the entire time I lived in Los Angeles and honestly…
KAYLA: That’s so crazy.
SARAH: I'm so glad. Oh my God
KAYLA: I'm so jealous of you, I’ve lived in so… the amount of times I've moved since you have lived in that one apartment is actually bananas
SARAH: But just think, you don't pay as much as I do
KAYLA: Mm, yeah, probably not, I should hope not, as I'm splitting rent.
SARAH: Uh-huh.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Uh-huh.
KAYLA: I live in Cambridge, massive huge chits
SARAH: You don't live in the same place you lived last time, but you live in the same place
KAYLA: Not the same apartment, but in the same three-block radius
SARAH: The same area
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: What's your relationship status? Single baby. Kayla's relationship status is delusional. What's your relationship status?
KAYLA: In a relationship
SARAH: Why are you being weird about it?
KAYLA: I'm not, just being delusional, that’s all
SARAH: Kayla is… okay. We don't think Kayla is gonna break up. I would like to be clear…
KAYLA: No, it’s not what we’re being delusional about
SARAH: That we're not being… we don't think her relationship is going to end, that's not what the delusion is about
KAYLA: That’s not what we're being delusional about, don't worry about that.
SARAH: I was like, people may…
KAYLA: People are gonna be like….
SARAH: Misread this entire line
KAYLA: No, that’s not it.
SARAH: What has been the best part about this year pod-wise? I don't know, that we still have one, congrats to us
KAYLA: What big happened this year?
SARAH: Nothing
KAYLA: I think you might be right. What did we do this year?
SARAH: It's a miracle it's still going.
KAYLA: Did we have a single guest on this year?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Who?
SARAH: I don't know.
KAYLA: Hold on I need to do a bit of scrolling.
SARAH: We have, we definitely have.
KAYLA: Are you positive?
SARAH: Uh-huh.
KAYLA: I'm not. We haven't.
SARAH: Are you sure?
KAYLA: Yes. No, we had… no we had Rhaina Cohen on
SARAH: Ha ha ha ha haaaaa
KAYLA: That was a highlight, that was an excellent pod
SARAH: We had Ash McCullough on… McCullough.
KAYLA: Oh my gosh. Yes. There it is. Okay, that was actually… That was also good. That was so long ago, that was months ago.
SARAH: Yeah, it was
KAYLA: Okay. I did… now that I remember them, me not remembering them does not mean they were not good guests, those were both very good convos
SARAH: They were
KAYLA: Also, I think that doing the listener lore first episode was a… Honestly a highlight for me. I thought that was… I had the silliest time. I had so many giggles
SARAH: I love that for you. I just saw that you named the last episode ‘Reddit Rabbit Hole Part 14 Kids Edition,’ that makes it seem like it's kids bop.
KAYLA: Maybe it is
SARAH: Like it's for kids
KAYLA: Yeah, it's for kids
SARAH: Okay Trix are for kids. Um, what has been the worst part about this year pod-wise? I don’t know
KAYLA: I don’t think anything like bad has happened
SARAH: Just being tired about it
KAYLA: Yeah, it has just been harder to juggle, I think
SARAH: I think it started taking me longer to edit.
KAYLA: Yeah, editing is not fun
SARAH: I think I have gotten more and more obsessive about removing any pause longer than about half a second
KAYLA: Yeah, that's tough, you should break that, you should stop that
SARAH: Well
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Well, it was like when I… when we were… when you and me did the podcast together in the same room on the same mic it took me half as long to edit the podcast.
KAYLA: Yeah, because we were just yap, yap, yapping
SARAH: Yeah. And it was one mic and I didn't have to line things up and I didn't have to like whatever
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I was like, wow, this is great
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But these days a lot of times it takes me like multiple days, to be clear, I have limited windows in those days
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But
KAYLA: Not like all day.
SARAH: Yeah. What has been the best… the worst part about this year personally?
KAYLA: Lots of like family illnesses this year.
SARAH: Yeah, my grandma has had 11 UTIs
KAYLA: So not chill
SARAH: That's like not fun.
KAYLA: Yeah. No. Oh, I got laid off, that was ass at the time, like I’m fine now, but do you know how many gray hairs I found during those like three months? So many actually
SARAH: At least one and a half. Uh, what has been the best part about this year personally?
KAYLA: I have a nephew
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: It's a baby, I like him.
SARAH: I got into the K-pop group Seventeen
KAYLA: Because she needed one more
SARAH: I needed 13, it’s what I need
KAYLA: It’s so bad, it's so bad
SARAH: Literally, that's the only thing I can think of
KAYLA: I think one of the worst parts was moving apartments because I really hate moving but one of the best parts was my new apartment because I really like my new apartment
SARAH: I have a sword on my arm now.
KAYLA: That's true. Wait, I think I got at least one tattoo this year. This one? This one this year
SARAH: When did you get your frames?
KAYLA: That would have been this year too, to be honest
SARAH: I think that was this year.
KAYLA: I think it was.
SARAH: No
KAYLA: No? No?
SARAH: I have a photo of you at the Getty where it's on your arm
KAYLA: At the Getty?
SARAH: That was October of 2023.
KAYLA: Who's the Getty?
SARAH: At the Getty
KAYLA: Oh, when we did our pictures? Yes.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: It was in those pictures.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay, yes, so I think just the one, I think just the one
SARAH: Yeah, but you just got it randomly one day
KAYLA: I wanted it
SARAH: I might… there's a small chance I get another tattoo before the year is over
KAYLA: Ooh
SARAH: But there's also a decent chance that it doesn't happen until next July
KAYLA: Oh, wow, okay
SARAH: It's either going to happen… because it needs to happen in Michigan, is why
KAYLA: I see
SARAH: So, it's either going to happen before the end of the year or it's going to happen next summer
KAYLA: Well, only time will tell
SARAH: So. Rate your mental health one to ten.
KAYLA: Uh
SARAH: Like right now
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Not good, but that's also because… okay, I haven't been to the gym in like three weeks
KAYLA: Oh, that’s tough
SARAH: Because I was home for Thanksgiving and then I got sick and I have not been able to… I have not been physically well enough…
KAYLA: That's fair
SARAH: To go to the gym and so then my mental health is bad because I haven't been able to go to the gym, but I can't go to the gym because my physical health is bad
KAYLA: Yeah
[00:40:00]
SARAH: I've been meaning to put up my Christmas tree for nine days.
KAYLA: I have not put any decorations either
SARAH: Usually I'm like… well, because I'm only gonna be here like a week and a half longer
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, like yeah put up the fucking tree right away
KAYLA: Fair
SARAH: I took half of it out of the bag this morning
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: I keep just doing one thing, like I dragged the thing into the room and then like the next day I unzipped the bag. And then…
KAYLA: Every day you get closer…
SARAH: And then this morning I pulled out half of it
KAYLA: Hmm
SARAH: But every day I keep being like, oh, I'll do it tonight and then I'm like tired
KAYLA: Yeah, it is a lot of effort
SARAH: Last night I fell asleep without eating my dinner
KAYLA: I am unfortunately not surprised
SARAH: How confident… oh wait…
KAYLA: And I never answer
SARAH: And I didn't either
KAYLA: Okay, well
SARAH: How… rate your mental health one to ten
KAYLA: Right now, I would say an eight
SARAH: Wow
KAYLA: Pretty good right now.
SARAH: I was gonna say three
KAYLA: For me?
SARAH: No
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: For me
KAYLA: Well, it's very… I am worried, because a couple of months ago it was much lower because
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I don't remember if that… I think this was my beef at some point but like my medication got fucked up.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And I was like so fucked in the head about it, I was so unwell.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: But I eventually leveled out. But I'm picking up a new prescription soon and I'm worried that now that my medicine is going back to normal that my body is gonna take time to adjust again
SARAH: I see
KAYLA: Even though I'm going back to the way it should be
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I feel like my body is either gonna be like super happy and my body is gonna be like fuck yeah, and I'm gonna actually feel like a bit euphoric for a couple of weeks until I level back out or I'm gonna have brain bad again
SARAH: Mm, I see
KAYLA: It’s very temporary
SARAH: Very temporary.
KAYLA: I worry
SARAH: I think…
KAYLA: Seven
SARAH: Okay. I'm gonna bring mine up to a four just because the three is because I haven't been at the gym
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: I don't have control over my own brain, it's very cool and fun
KAYLA: Um, I did bring it down to a seven because of how much I've been procrastinating a lot of life activities like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And I was like, well, if I was really an eight I think maybe I probably wouldn't be putting stuff off that bad. So maybe it were not as good as I think
SARAH: Yeah, I do think one of the downsides of me not having a roommate anymore is… I've said this before, there's no one to disrupt me
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And when there's no one to disrupt me it on average makes my mental health worse
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But like I like having my own space and like…
KAYLA: You just need someone to disrupt you
SARAH: I need a cat
KAYLA: Yeah, I do think a pet would help you along
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Like a lot
SARAH: I've been thinking about that a lot. Like I… like as… once I get back after Christmas, I need to start talking to my landlord and be like, please.
KAYLA: Couldn't you get like a medical thing? Like… because I do genuinely think it would be extremely good for your mental health
SARAH: Yeah, I mean, I will see what happens if I ask like we'll see
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: How confident are you in your identity one to ten? The aro-ace part, yeah. The other part, clearly no one knows
KAYLA: Clearly not. I'm gonna give myself a nine and a half, I struggle to give it a full ten because like you never fucking know.
SARAH: Yeah. Yeah, that's fair
KAYLA: Okay, well, I want to leave wiggle room for like… because I had been confident before and then it changed so I…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: You know?
SARAH: Yeah, I'll give my aro-aceness a good nine and a half. The other one? Fuck, I don't know, four, I keep just defaulting to four
KAYLA: Yeah, you know
SARAH: Because we talked about our relationships with our bodies as aspecs, how comfortable do you feel in your own body one to ten? Less than last time, whatever I said last time, just less
KAYLA: This one I… If I… This one also, I feel like fluctuates a lot for me.
SARAH: Hmm
KAYLA: Depending on, am I on my period?
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: Well, if I’ve been exercising lately. Which like recently I have been better about exercising. So, I feel better. Also, time of year right now I'm just like wearing sweaters a bunch. So, I'm not like looking at my body as much, you know what I mean?
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Like not trying to like fit into summer clothes and be like my skin is exposed.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Anyway
SARAH: That's fair
KAYLA: I'm trying to look at what we said last year
SARAH: We love giving ourselves rank one to ten questions and then not giving one to ten
KAYLA: And then we're both really bad at it
SARAH: Yeah, that's fine. Do you want to find it or should I just go to the next one?
KAYLA: I don't… I'll give myself a seven, I don't care.
SARAH: Okay
KAYLA: It's not that I don't care, it's just all the one through ten questions are the same to the transcript is just us saying numbers and I can…
SARAH: Us… yeah, great
KAYLA: Wait, just kidding. I found it. I said the exact…
SARAH: It's possible. I said the same thing last year, too, like slowly jump dumping down a number every year.
KAYLA: I said this one is hard for me because it really varies like link to my period. I gave myself a six last year. And I gave myself a seven this year. So that's nice.
SARAH: Okay. I gave myself a less
KAYLA: You gave yourself a six
SARAH: Really?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: I'll take it definitely down to at least a five
KAYLA: It was gonna be a six and a half and then you changed it to six
SARAH: Okay, I'll give it a five. I'll give it a… No, I'll give it a 4.67, so, take that
KAYLA: Okay, great. And now I do need to read some transcript from last year because it…
SARAH: I did the same thing last year, didn't I?
KAYLA: Well, no, it's that two years ago you said, whatever number I said last year two numbers lower
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: And I said two years ago, six
SARAH: I said eight two years prior? Two years ago? That's not right
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: I'm gonna bring it down to a four
KAYLA: Okay. Three years ago, you also said that, you also said whatever I said last year, however many lower
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: But you had never given, two years and you didn’t give a number
SARAH: I have never given a number
KAYLA: So…
SARAH: Good
KAYLA: You went up then down and then down again, last year at a six and now we're down again
SARAH: Fuck it, 4.2, 4.28, 4.28125
KAYLA: And then I talked about how I was excited to do this again this year, this cutting-edge math. So, this is gonna be really fun because now next year…
SARAH: It's just…
KAYLA: I'm gonna have this to read. This is the problem with rereading is because we're always… we always go back to the previous year
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: So that when I'm reading the transcript, I'm reading that year and the year before
SARAH: Like we could just write our answers in the doc and say this year we said…
KAYLA: No, no, no, no, no
SARAH: But that's not fun
KAYLA: No, no, no, no
SARAH: Um, how often do you should?
KAYLA: Mm, I need to think about that. I always have to like… because I don't know what I'm shoulding, you know?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Lately, I guess I've been shoulding a lot because of all of the things I'm procrastinating.
SARAH: Mm. I thought you were gonna say the delusion
KAYLA: That's not so much shoulding, there's nothing I should be doing
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: Vis-à-vis the delusion
SARAH: Well, how cryptic this is
KAYLA: One day when you're older…
SARAH: One day when you’re older
KAYLA: We’ll discuss the delusions
SARAH: We’ll talk about the delusions
KAYLA: No, my biggest should right now is I haven't bought… the only Christmas presents I've bought are for two white elephants that I have had and nothing else and I keep telling myself, it's like, oh, because I'm studying for my final, that's not why
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: My brain just doesn't want, I just don't want to do it.
SARAH: So
KAYLA: So
SARAH: Absolutely fun. How often do I should? You know, more than I would like
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But not an unreasonable amount
KAYLA: I will say I think taking classes again has made me struggle with shoulding more again
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Because it's back to the thing of like, there's always something I could be doing
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: And so, then there's often… like I've had to work again at being like, okay, yeah, there is always homework you could be doing but that doesn't mean you should do it right now
SARAH: Right
KAYLA: You know?
SARAH: I think my increase in shoulding has to do with my decrease in how comfortable I feel with my own body, he heee
KAYLA: Mm-hmm, interesting
SARAH: What do you want most for the aspec community in the next year? I say this with so much love and affection…
KAYLA: Oh, oh
SARAH: I want the aspec community to leave me alone
KAYLA: It already is, who is coming for you?
SARAH: No, just like… Like I don't want to get caught up in shit, and I don't usually
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But I'm just saying like I want to not have to worry about shit, does that make sense?
KAYLA: Yeah, but this is... I think this you're not answering the question.
SARAH: No, I'm not
KAYLA: Okay. Like that's not something the community is… that's not…
SARAH: I want the community to leave me the fuck alone.
KAYLA: I don't think that's constructive. I don't think that's a constructive thing to say
SARAH: It's not. And the community is not coming after me
KAYLA: Right, like they are leaving you alone
[00:50:00]
SARAH: The thing I really want to say is that I don't want to be an aspec activist, like I… but I don't want… I don't want
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But I am
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But I don't wanna be
KAYLA: Yeah. I'd say we're pretty far removed at this point.
SARAH: Yeah. Hell, yeah
KAYLA: I think we're really incredibly irrelevant these days, which is crazy.
SARAH: It’s why we’re losing followers
KAYLA: Yeah, and… great, good
SARAH: The aspec community in the next year, I want it to grow big and strong and not fight with itself.
KAYLA: I want… and I think this gets at maybe part of what you were trying to say, is I want there to be even more of an influx of like aspec creators and activists and…
SARAH: I want to see aspecs on TV
KAYLA: I think like I want more Alice Osemans who is like this is a person who they are not only known for being aspec, they are someone who is like making a change in the queer community who also happens to be aspec and does speak up for aspecs
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Not just like, oh, this person is famous and like not that it's bad that like the only thing that you're known for is aspec activism
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But I think it goes further when you are also in great…
SARAH: You’re not known just for that
KAYLA: Right, again, there's nothing wrong with that, that's what we are, but…
SARAH: But it's more accessible to the outside world
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: People who aren't already in the community when they're introduced to it organically through someone who they know from something else
KAYLA: Yeah, and then also when there's more people like that, we become more irrelevant, which is great for us
SARAH: I love becoming irrelevant
KAYLA: Sarah and I, I feel… I hope people don't take this as us being like having a pity party or that like we don't care because we do.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But I think we had our few years of being very relevant
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: And we did a really bad job at being relevant
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: We weren't responsible
SARAH: And we didn't like it
KAYLA: We didn't like it. We weren't responsible. We made mistakes, it was bad for us and everyone else and now we're really enjoying kind of just like fading
SARAH: We're enjoying just like observing
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like, you know, um in the Muppets those two like angry guys?
KAYLA: That's us, that's us
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like we're just… we have our little corner and our little people and that's how it is
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And you can tell that we wrote these questions when…
KAYLA: When we were relevant and wanted to be relevant.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah. Yep
SARAH: What gives you hope? I think young women, young non-cis men
KAYLA: I could not agree more, because here's something that I was thinking about this year is often my answer to this question every year is young people.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Because in general that's true…
SARAH: But this year young men…
KAYLA: However, this year I looked at the election results and I looked at the demographics and I saw the young men and, in my head, I said I thought of this episode and I said what have I been saying?
SARAH: Yeah, not the men
KAYLA: Not the men
SARAH: Not the men.
KAYLA: Um, I… What gives me hope is Greta Thunberg’s face
SARAH: Thunberg
KAYLA: The little girl, she’s not little anymore
SARAH: She's not little, she's an adult, she’s…
KAYLA: She’s an adult now. But people like her
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And the girl from Flint, who is also not a child anymore
SARAH: Copeny
KAYLA: I just know her by little miss Flint
SARAH: My brain is trying to tell me Maria Copeny, but it's not Maria.
KAYLA: It doesn't sound familiar, but also, I don't do names.
SARAH: Oh, I know why. I know someone with the last name Flint and they have a name that is not Maria, but is similar to Maria
KAYLA: But is similar to Maria, great. Good.
SARAH: But her last name is Copeny.
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: I bet that's correct. Hold on. This is gonna bother me.
KAYLA: Oh, no
SARAH: Her name is Mari, M-A-R-I. Okay.
KAYLA: Little miss Flint?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: It's short for Amariyanna
KAYLA: Oh cute
SARAH: It's probably Mari, it's probably Mari Copeny
KAYLA: Probably. That's a good name
SARAH: It is a good name. Anyway, I have another thing that gives me… what gives me hope is people who continue to like protest and work hard to make change even in the face of things being bad. Speaking of which, what are you most worried about right now? Um, so in this doc I actually… this’s one of the few ones where I actually did write down what I wrote last year because I wrote it in advance and I just never took it out of the doc. I said genocide, fascism and the decline of global democracy
KAYLA: Oh. Little did you know
SARAH: Little did I know
KAYLA: Why did you say that? Why did you do that?
SARAH: What is in store.
KAYLA: I don’t want you to answer this now because I'm afraid of what you’re gonna…
SARAH: I'm just gonna say that again because I'm still worried about that and perhaps worried more than I was last year.
KAYLA: I think, yes, I agree
SARAH: A year from now, where do you hope the pod will be? The same place
KAYLA: Same fucking place
SARAH: In my backyard, I don't have a yard but…
KAYLA: In our little pocket of internet with our lovely little internet friends.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Chilling, having a silly time. I think I said this maybe last year too, but I just… I really enjoy the turn we've had and I think it was mostly out of necessity of just fully running out of topics that are like truly aspec central like…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Core aspec culture, core aspec, like…
SARAH: Yeah. We're not like a current events aspec podcast.
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Like there's not like…
KAYLA: Yeah. I just, I very much enjoy that we are just a podcast where we talk about like things happening in the world from an aspec perspective. Like I just… I like that that's what we are now
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I find that more enjoyable
SARAH: Yeah, I think it's good. A year from now, where do you hope you will be? I said writing last year, I say that again with the hopes that I will be doing it more than I did this year.
KAYLA: I hope I'm still in this apartment, it'd be so insane if I moved
SARAH: That’d be wild
KAYLA: Especially because my lease wouldn't be up, wait…
SARAH: Your lease will be up; your lease is going to end at the end of August, next year
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know, I don't know.
SARAH: Kayla doesn’t know how numbers work
KAYLA: I don't know. I hope I'm in this apartment, I hope… I guess, I hope I'm fucking chilling, I don't know.
SARAH: Yeah, I hope that as well. What's something you couldn't do this year that you hope to be able to do next year? Well, 2025 finally be the year I get a therapist.
KAYLA: I wish it would be
SARAH: Maybe, maybe, I haven't had one since 2019
KAYLA: It’s so bad
SARAH: And what a five years it has been
KAYLA: It's so bad. Meanwhile, I've been in therapy consistently for like 11 years
SARAH: My brain
KAYLA: I hope to visit more friends. I feel like especially during the summer I get caught up in a lot of travel which is really fun, but then it leaves me exhausted the rest of the year so I don't like visit friends that I have around the country.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So, like there are certain friends that have lived in other cities for forever and I've like never…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Been out there to see them, and I'm like, that… I'm a shitty friend, I think
SARAH: I hope to have friends, I hope I…
KAYLA: You do have friends
SARAH: Mm, debatable, I have got like two friends
KAYLA: That’s not true
SARAH: Okay, three. I would like to go on a trip somewhere with friends
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Like away, like overnight
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Because I…
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Travel to Michigan several times a year to see my family, but I don't ever go anywhere with friends
KAYLA: You don't like do a vacation
SARAH: Because I don't have any. And also, because, again, the whole thing like I don't have a partner, I don't have a built-in person to go with
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, I would like to… I would like to go on a trip with somebody, somewhere
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Not anybody, like I don't want to go on a trip with like…
KAYLA: A rando
SARAH: George Bush
KAYLA: Oh, well, yeah.
SARAH: What's the one thing you want out of next year?
KAYLA: Is that not the same question?
SARAH: No. I want a new job, respectfully
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Respectfully, I would like to advance in my career.
KAYLA: I would also love that for you
SARAH: I'd like to submit to one fucking writing contest, just fucking one time
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Which means I have to have a script done
KAYLA: Yeah, that would be good. What's the question?
SARAH: One thing you want out of next year?
KAYLA: I want to be successfully closer to finishing the like education program I'm working towards
SARAH: I should hope so.
KAYLA: I should too
SARAH: Imagine you're less far, imagine…
KAYLA: That's what my hope is, is that I'm like closer to wrapping it up
SARAH: Okay, not further. What's one thing that made this year better? I got in this K-pop group Seventeen, and my friends. One of my friends sent me an album, a Seventeen album and it arrived in the mail today and I got it and I was like, oh my God.
KAYLA: It’s so nice, see you do have friends
SARAH: I don't see them, I don't…
KAYLA: But they do exist
[01:00:00]
SARAH: I don't have friends that are available to hang out with me.
KAYLA: That's fair, that’s fair
SARAH: They all live too far away or if they live nearby they only live kind of nearby and they're busy and they won't drop everything to hang out with me one time
KAYLA: That’s pretty fucked up
SARAH: And that's fucked up.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And I only ever ask them once a year
KAYLA: Yeah, well. What made this year better? I've continued to be really into reading this year
SARAH: I'm so jealous
KAYLA: Which I really enjoyed and I think was very good for me.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: My friends, my family
SARAH: A baby
KAYLA: A baby, well, no, not well to that, cut it off there. I want to say… So don't put that in
SARAH: Okay. If you could give the you from a year ago advice, what would it be? Buckle up bitch
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah, lock the fuck in
SARAH: Keep your hands and your arms and legs inside the ride at all times
KAYLA: Lock the fuck in and make sure we're taking our meds every day because that's the bare minimum that we can do to keep it going.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. If you were to give the you from a year ago advice, what would it be? Get a therapist
KAYLA: Mm-hmm, yeah
SARAH: Um, what's something you're putting off doing right now? Getting a…
KAYLA: Buying Christmas presents
SARAH: Dentist-related things
KAYLA: Okay
SARAH: I went to a dentist but then I couldn't go to… I can't… I would have to make my plan so much more expensive to go to this dentist again. So, I'm… it's not worth it
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, I still have like this assigned dentist and… so, I'm doing the same plan, it automatically renewed. But I want to switch to my assigned dentist but I don't know who to switch it to
KAYLA: I see, I see
SARAH: I guess that's not super urgent though. Like I could do that in March, it's not like it has to be done before the beginning of the year. Um, did you answer that question? What was the question?
KAYLA: Yeah, I said, I need to buy Christmas presents.
SARAH: Oh, right. Why do you do the pod? I don't know.
KAYLA: I think it's nice to talk to my friends
SARAH: I talk to Kayla and I talk to you and you talk back but I don't usually hear you
KAYLA: Me?
SARAH: No, sorry, the audience
KAYLA: Oh, the listeners, yes. I like reading what the listener has to say. I like going in the Discord…
SARAH: The listener? The one listener
KAYLA: The one, I mean at this point, I’m just kidding. Yeah, I don't know. I like having a silly time.
SARAH: Yeah. Sum up the year with one song. Okay, the past couple of years...
KAYLA: Ugh, I'm so bad at this one.
SARAH: I know you are, the past couple of years like I've had…
KAYLA: This one is just for you
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: You put this question in for you, with no regard for my feelings.
SARAH: Yep. Um, I actually don't have like…
KAYLA: I should get a question.
SARAH: You can add one. I actually don't have like one specific one that like stood out this year as the song, but I was thinking and I was like, it should be a Seventeen song, so and I was like, okay, of the Seventeen songs, what should it be? Of the Seventeen songs, it would be the song ‘Fuck My Life’
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: But then also I realized ‘Quarter Life’ by Tomorrow X Together, which I was like wait, did I do that song last year? And then I was like, no that song came out this year, I've just mentioned it on the pod before. The other one that I thought of was ‘Good Luck, Babe!’ by Chappell Roan because it's how I feel about going into next year
KAYLA: I was gonna say, ‘My Kink Is Karma’ by Chappell Roan.
SARAH: Mm, that's a good fucking song
KAYLA: I think it really sums up my like feelings of rage.
SARAH: Yeah. Yeah, that's very you, I see that
KAYLA: And that was… that's like my favorite song of that album, thank you very much.
SARAH: I…
KAYLA: It's very you, my rage, thank you, thanks
SARAH: I the other day was listening to ‘California’ on loop because I hate myself
KAYLA: I often listen to ‘California’ on loop
SARAH: My sister-in-law was like, that's like the one song on the album that like I don't really love as much and I was like, it's because you don't have a personal connection to it
KAYLA: Here's the thing Sarah, I also like originally didn't think that much of that song and then you told me about you liking it and so, then I listened to it with your ears
SARAH: Uh-huh
KAYLA: And then I was like, this is so sad.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And now I love it
SARAH: Yeah, I was listening… it like came on shuffle because it was on my… I was listening to my Wrapped playlist
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And so, it came on shuffle and I was like, oh man, I got to put this on repeat
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: So, I listened to it on repeat for a couple of times and then the next song that came on was ‘Home’ by Seventeen and that fucked… that combination fucked me up.
KAYLA: That's ouchie.
SARAH: Okay. You don't even know that song, but just the title is…
KAYLA: Yeah, I get the vibe.
SARAH: Yeah. Ending fun, what's the most memorable thing the allos did this year? Last year, I wrote, every year, I'm like, damn, I should have prepared for this one, and earlier this week, I thought of something, I think it has to be the boy-moms because…
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: I think… listen, we're constantly going after men for being insane and misogynistic and patriarchal
KAYLA: And maybe we should go after the women
SARAH: But I think we should attack women more
KAYLA: Equal opportunity attacking
SARAH: Exactly
KAYLA: I just this week had a run-in with some boy mom rhetoric
SARAH: Yeah, that's why I wrote it down
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: It’s because you told me about that
KAYLA: And then I was telling Dean about it and he was like, imagine if you became a boy-mom, like wouldn’t that be so embarrassing? And I was like, I would kill myself
SARAH: Aside from the fact that I don't want kids, like the fact that if you have a child yourself it's a fucking coin toss as to what flavor it's gonna be. And again, gender isn't fucking real, but if the flavor is penis, I'm scared. I fear for my life
KAYLA: I have the same thing because again…
SARAH: I don't know what to do with that
KAYLA: Again, gender is not real. However, I have spent my whole life mostly around women
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So, I'm like, I don't know about you
SARAH: Gender is not real but the fact that people enforce it on to you is
KAYLA: Yes, because that's the thing, even if I don't enforce the maleness onto my baby someone else will and then I have to deal with the repercussions of that in my own home
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And I don't know what to do with that.
SARAH: Yep. Horrifying.
KAYLA: I have a nephew, what's your deal?
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: What's this whole thing gonna be? I don’t know
SARAH: Like when I found out that someone who I know decently well had a child recently and it turned out to be flavored girl, I was like, thank God
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know what…
SARAH: Thank God flavored girl.
KAYLA: I don't know what… How my sister gonna raise this boy
SARAH: I don't know
KAYLA: What does she know about a boy?
SARAH: Hopefully she's fine
KAYLA: She knows everything
SARAH: Who is your most hated person this year? Last year I wrote BB Netanyahu and I think that's still true.
KAYLA: Yeah, I do think that it is true
SARAH: Donald Trump, no, Donald Trump, he pisses me off
KAYLA: Both bad
SARAH: Elon Musk
KAYLA: Elon Musk, Joe Rogan, I don't like them
SARAH: I don't think Joe Rogan is inherently… Here's the thing…
KAYLA: Wrong
SARAH: Here's the thing, in 2016 he was a Bernie bro
KAYLA: That's why I think he's an even worse person
SARAH: Joe Rogan is not irredeemable
KAYLA: Wrong
SARAH: He has just been lured by the siren sound of the Right and the Right takes him more seriously
KAYLA: That's why I think he's even more evil though because he is conscious, like he's doing it just for the power, he’s like a JD Vance where like previously he was like, fuck these people and then he was like, oh but they're gonna give me more power so, I'll move over there.
SARAH: I don't think he's the same as JD Vance at all. My vibe of… because Joe Rogan… like he'll have anyone on his podcast. Like he will have an open discussion with anyone, the reason Kamala didn't go on his podcast wasn't because he said no, it was because of scheduling issues
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: And because he won't come to you, you have to come to him
KAYLA: But then he endorsed Trump though
SARAH: He did. I think… I just… I don't think he's beyond Yanking back into more sane territory. Do I think…
KAYLA: I disagree, also because he is friends with some whack ass people.
SARAH: That's true
KAYLA: Some terrible people
SARAH: Do I think we are going to drag him back into sane territory? Probably not, but I think theoretically it could be done
KAYLA: Mm, I disagree
SARAH: Whereas like Charlie Kirk, no fucking way
KAYLA: I don't know
SARAH: You know? I'm not here to be a Joe Rogan apologist, But…
KAYLA: I hate that guy
SARAH: You know how the Time person of the year thing comes out and they're always like, oh here were the finalists, and everyone is like, all of these are horrible people, why are we platforming them?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And I'm like, here's the thing that people ignore every time, is that the Time person of the year is not best person of the year
KAYLA: Yeah, it's who are we all talking about this year?
SARAH: It's who had the biggest impact on the world this year
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: And like I understand that you don't want that to be fucking Trump or Netanyahu or fucking Elon Musk
KAYLA: It would have been Hitler, if Times was doing it back then it would have Hitler
SARAH: Yeah. It would have been Hitler
KAYLA: Several times
SARAH: And y'all would have been like, I can't believe we're doing this, but it's like, it's not best person.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's not. No, it's not
SARAH: Person of the year Hitler.
KAYLA: It's like when we were the…
SARAH: Hitler was the person of the year in 1938
KAYLA: See? It's like when the person of the year was like you, like everybody.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: You're not the… we're not the best, we all suck. We were still person of the year
SARAH: Yep. Is that true? Fact-check. Fact-check, yeah, he was the person of the year in 1938
KAYLA: See, there you go. Has Greta ever been person of the year? Give it to her
[01:10:00]
SARAH: Gandhi was person of the year in 1930. Well, the fourth person of the year was a person who was not white, Congrats. Hitler ’38 Wow, what a run, Hitler ’38, Stalin ’39, Churchill ‘40
KAYLA: Wow
SARAH: FDR ’41, Stalin ’42. 1950 was the American fighting man
KAYLA: Ew
SARAH: ‘52 Elizabeth, 1960 was just US scientists, ‘63 MLK, 1966 the inheritor, representing a generation of American men and women aged 25 and under, the baby boom generation. I don't even understand what that means, how is that the inheritor? ‘69 was the middle Americans, fucking ‘72 Nixon and Henry Kissinger
KAYLA: Ew
SARAH: Anyway, we'll stop, we'll stop, we'll stop, I'm just checking for Greta, 2019, yeah
KAYLA: Okay, good, the last good year
SARAH: In 2022 is Volodymyr Zelenskyy and also the spirit of Ukraine
KAYLA: Yeah, that was an interesting one.
SARAH: And then last year it was Taylor Swift and then this year it is Donald Trump again
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: In 2020 it was a Joe and Kamala. Imagine every election year it's just whoever wins.
KAYLA: I mean, sometimes it is
SARAH: I mean, in terms of like the category of people, 23 of the person of the years have been presidents of the United States
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: 14 unique leaders and then a couple of the… like other leaders of parties and popes. We're gonna… we're almost done.
KAYLA: We have to finish
SARAH: We have to stop. What's the one thing you'd like to say to our listeners? This is our last question. I'm sorry, this was so long, that’s what I would like to say
KAYLA: Yeah, it didn't need to be like this, I'm so sorry.
SARAH: Sorry. We're doing our best.
KAYLA: Um, maybe that should just be the blanket sorry
SARAH: Sorry. Thanks. Thanks for being around and sticking around and listening to us for some reason, I don't know why you do that. That's it. Kayla, what's our poll for this week?
KAYLA: Um
SARAH: Give me song.
KAYLA: What? What? What?
SARAH: Give me song.
KAYLA: You want Song Recs?
SARAH: Song of year
KAYLA: Oh, what was your song of the year?
SARAH: Song of year and if there was anything memorable the allos did?
KAYLA: Mm, yeah. Ooh, The Golden Bachelor, that was a good allo this year.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: What a fuck up
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: Um, so do you want people… Like this was my top song of the year or like a song to describe the year?
SARAH: A song to describe the year
KAYLA: Okay. Okay.
SARAH: Okay. We also have a Patreon… no, yeah. What's your beef and your juice? I feel like we can skip that, that was this whole episode.
KAYLA: I think yeah, a little bit
SARAH: Sure, that was our beef and our juice, you got it. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod if you for some reason want to support us. I will say if you want to become a patron maybe wait until January because you're not gonna get anything for the next month. Our $5 patrons who we're promoting this week are Scott Ainslie, Simon, Snordstorm, Sophia P and Tall_Darryl. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Elle Bitter who would like to promote normalizing the use of tone indicators /srs, my Aunt Jeannie who would like to promote Christopher’s Haven, Kayla's dad who would like to promote JandiCreations.com and Maff who would like to promote the Don't Should sweatshirt. It makes a wonderful Christmas present
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Or a Hanukkah present or a Kwanzaa present
KAYLA: Or a just because present
SARAH: Or a New Year's present, or a Boxing Day present
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Or a Winter solstice present, or a…
KAYLA: Okay, okay
SARAH: What's the pole, the metal pole
KAYLA: I don't care
SARAH: Also, Martin Chiesl, Olivia O’Shea, Parker, Phoenix Leodinh, Purple Hayes, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm, Val, Alastor, Alyson, Ani, Arcnes, Benjamin Ybarra, Bones, Celina Dobson, Clare Olsen, and Derick & Carissa. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Andrew Hillum who would like to promote The Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Hector Murillo who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person and will hang out with you when you ask them to
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla’s Aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggartart.com and Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are Dragonfly, Dr. Jacki, my mom and River who would like to promote…Yay. Thanks for listening, tune in, not next Sunday, but like four from now, January next year
KAYLA: January next year
SARAH: January 19th in 2025, for more of us in your ears, enjoy your little break
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]
