Sounds Fake But Okay
Sounds Fake But Okay
Ep 335: What to Give Up for Lent
Hey what's up hello! Some people are giving things up for Lent. We have ideas.
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SARAH: Hey, what's up? Hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake but Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I'm Sarah, that's me.)
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual girl, (that's me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, ‘Lent.’
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay.
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: It once again feels as though it has been forever.
SARAH: It has been a normal amount of time.
KAYLA: It has. This week has just been the slowest week. I got to Tuesday morning this week and I was like “this is not good.”
SARAH: This is not it.
KAYLA: This is looking bad.
SARAH: I am sorry to hear that.
KAYLA: Anyway.
SARAH: Um, do we have any housekeeping?
KAYLA: I certainly have several emails I need to respond to, but that's…
SARAH: That’s personal.
KAYLA: My personal housekeeping with the podcast.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Not y'all's.
SARAH: Great. Kayla, we're just gonna dive in, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week, uh, currently when we are recording, it is Ash Wednesday.
SARAH: I didn't get my ashes.
KAYLA: I saw someone with ashes and I was like…
SARAH: I didn't.
KAYLA: I saw one person with an ash.
SARAH: I'm sure if I wandered around, like around where I live, I would see some.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But not around where I work. Also, it's raining today in LA, so like no one is outside.
KAYLA: It's also raining here.
SARAH: Oh my God.
KAYLA: My God. Anyway. And people at work were talking about Lent. And someone was mentioning what they were giving up for Lent, and I was like, “oh, Lent.” And then we were trying to figure out what to do today, and I was like, “oh…”
SARAH: “Lent.”
KAYLA: “Lent.”
SARAH: Um, for those who are not familiar with Catholicism, I was about to say, “RIP to the pope,” but not yet, he's still alive.
KAYLA: Girl.
SARAH: What if he dies between now and the time this pod goes up?
KAYLA: Oh my God, when you give up the pope for Lent?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: LOL.
SARAH: I was gonna say it's giving me accidentally killing John McCain, but...
KAYLA: I just told that story to someone the other day and they didn't think it was funny.
SARAH: Why?
KAYLA: I was telling someone at work and they were like, “you're fucked up for that.” And I was like, “you're fucked up for that, she killed John McCain.”
SARAH: I'm concerned about the people you work with.
KAYLA: He was like, “she didn't kill him.” And I was like, “yeah, she did.”
SARAH: Yeah, I did.
KAYLA: She actually really did, though.
SARAH: Unbelievable.
KAYLA: Wait.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: We do have housekeeping, Sarah.
SARAH: Oh my God, yes, we do.
KAYLA: I'm so sorry. Okay, so last week we discussed at length Bologna Fest. Okay?
SARAH: Too much length, some may say.
KAYLA: I disagree. If you did not hear this, you really should go back and listen to last week's episode. I think it was great. My sister finally listened to it like yesterday and said she was laughing out loud at the end because we sounded so slap-happy.
SARAH: Insane.
KAYLA: And I was like, “yeah, that was a late one for us. It had been a long day.” Okay, anyway, so as we said last week, Bologna Fest takes place every year in Yale, Michigan. Now, when we were talking about this, I was like, “Yale really sounds familiar to me.” And I even said, I was like, “I think I have family in that area, but I'm famously very bad at geography.” So, I was like, “I don't want to say for sure.”
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But I texted my family while we were recording about Bologna Fest and then the next morning, because it was like midnight 30 when I was texting them this, the next morning they answered. So, my family, I do have family very, very in that area.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So, in that area that I have a family member who's not like an immediate relation. It's like a bit of a distant relationship. So, I don't see them often, but they every year have like a barbecue hangout in their backyard to watch the Bologna Fest fireworks.
SARAH: Wow.
KAYLA: And I have been to that as a child. So, I have not been to Bologna Fest necessarily…
SARAH: But you’ve seen the fireworks.
KAYLA: But I have taken part in Bologna Fest in a way.
SARAH: You've seen the Bologna works you've been a part of the Bologna works.
KAYLA: Bologna works! I have.
SARAH: Just remarkable. Incredible.
KAYLA: I was just so excited to know that I had taken part in Bologna Fest as a child.
SARAH: I sent it to my family's group chat and literally no one reacted.
KAYLA: That's tough.
SARAH: It is really tough.
KAYLA: That's tough.
SARAH: It’s tough out there.
KAYLA: Like my mom grew up in that area. Like we… The Bologna Fest, it is there, you know?
SARAH: Yeah. The Bologna Fest is in her blood.
KAYLA: And so am I.
SARAH: Yeah. You, not me though.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Anyway.
KAYLA: Anyway, isn't that huge? So, we're going to Bologna Fest. Elle Bitter said that they live like 18 hours away, but they will drive to Bologna Fest this year. So, I think we have to.
SARAH: Oh my God. When is it? It's the end of July.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Ugh, my summer is fucked, because usually the summer travel that I do is fucked up because I have to go to a wedding that's in June.
KAYLA: Bitches.
SARAH: And it's throwing off, because… it's on the East coast, but all of… but like I will have to lay over either in Atlanta or Detroit.
KAYLA: Mm.
SARAH: But I think I'm just going to go there and back and then come back to… This is literally so not important. Um…
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I do think that I'm going to, um, on that trip fly out of four different airports
KAYLA: Ew
SARAH: Because I'm going to take one set of airports there and another set of airports back.
KAYLA: You're crazy.
SARAH: But then I won't have to fly out of LAX, I'll only have to fly into LAX.
KAYLA: That is nice.
SARAH: Anyway. So, Lent.
KAYLA: So, Lent.
SARAH: For the non-Catholics of the world or the people who are not surrounded by Catholics and don't have exposure to the Catholics, what is Lent?
KAYLA: Okay. And it has been a long time since I've been Catholic.
SARAH: Okay. You know how Jesus died?
KAYLA: Okay. So, I don't know if I'm going to remember it, but so remember how Jesus died?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And then…
SARAH: But first… actually, I don't remember…
KAYLA: I'm really struggling to remember why we do Lent.
SARAH: I don't remember why Ash Wednesday. Okay, I'm Googling it.
KAYLA: When is it… Because it's Easter when he rises.
SARAH: Yes. So Good Friday is when he dies.
KAYLA: Okay. So Good Friday was this past Friday?
SARAH: No, Good Friday is the Friday before Easter.
KAYLA: Girl, what is happening? Yesterday was Fat Tuesday, I know that.
SARAH: Oh yeah, it was Pączki day.
KAYLA: I hate Pączkis, unfortunately.
SARAH: I have never had a Pączki, but like no one out here fucking knows what they are.
KAYLA: It's just for the Poles.
SARAH: It's just for the Poles, and Michigan is full of Poles.
KAYLA: Full of Poles.
SARAH: I'm sorry. I'm just looking at Holy Monday, Holy Tuesday, Holy or Spy Wednesday…
KAYLA: Spy?
SARAH: Holy or Maundy Thursday.
KAYLA: What are any of these words?
SARAH: Oh…
KAYLA: I’m really struggling to remember Lent, why did we do that? Oh, it's because of the desert. Is it because when he was walking around in the desert?
SARAH: Origin, the fasting and praying for 40 days as seen in the Christian Bible, it aligns with Ramadan this year, so fasting.
KAYLA: Oh. Slay.
SARAH: Okay, slay. Um, he went into the mountains for 40 days and 40 nights to pray and fast without eating bread or drinking water before receiving the 10 commandments.
KAYLA: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wait, I thought Moses did the commandments. Am I stupid?
SARAH: That's what I said, Moses.
KAYLA: Oh, I thought you were talking about Jesus.
SARAH: No, but Jesus also went into the desert to fast and pray for 40 days and 40 nights.
KAYLA: Yes, that's what I was thinking.
SARAH: And that was when Satan tried to tempt him.
KAYLA: Yeah. And then he was like, uh-uh.
SARAH: And so, I guess we just do it ahead of Easter as to that. It's not like…
KAYLA: It’s like get lit for Easter.
SARAH: Yeah. It's not like Ash Wednesday was like the start of anything.
KAYLA: Okay. So, get this, everyone. On Tuesday, it's called ‘Fat Tuesday’ and you eat…
SARAH: Eat Pączkis.
KAYLA: Pączkis, which is Polish…
SARAH: Please spell Pączkis.
KAYLA: I can't, P-U-
SARAH: No, it's P-A-S-Z…
KAYLA: Oops. I'm a bad Pole, sorry.
SARAH: No, P-A with a… on the bottom, Z… no, sorry. I'm looking at it and saying the wrong letters. P, A with the… underneath. C, Z, K, I. Pączki.
KAYLA: So Polish. Okay, anyway, it's like a jelly filled donut kind of vibe.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: And it's also Mardi Gras Fat Tuesday. So, you eat a bunch and you like sin a lot, I guess, on Tuesday.
SARAH: I didn't make the connection that Mardi Gras was Fat Tuesday. For some reason, in my mind, Mardi Gras is in May and I kept getting confused.
KAYLA: It’s just not. Because Mardi Gras… like Mardi is Tuesday in French.
SARAH: What is in May?
KAYLA: My birthday.
SARAH: No, yes, but there's a thing in May. Like, why do I think Mardi Gras is in May?
KAYLA: I really couldn't say. I don't know.
SARAH: Okay, great.
KAYLA: Okay, so anyway, then on Wednesday, it's Ash Wednesday and you go to the church and they like put ashes on your forehead. Why? I don't remember.
[00:10:00]
SARAH: I'm sorry, spicedblog.com says Pączkis are traditionally eaten on Fat Thursday, the last Thursday before the beginning of…
KAYLA: Who is Fat Thursday?
SARAH: What the fuck are you talking about? No one has ever heard of you. It's Fat Tuesday.
KAYLA: Lent starts on a Wednesday. Okay. Do you remember why we do the ashes? Because I don't.
SARAH: Sins, probably.
KAYLA: Okay, cool. So, you go to church and they like put a cross on your forehead, drawn in ashes, which is really creepy when you do think about it.
SARAH: Yeah, I remember like at gymnastics, like you could always tell like whose family was like actually like really religious in a Catholic way because a lot of the people that I did gymnastics with were Catholic because there were a lot of Italians in the area of where my gym was. And so, like you would see like, oh, who rolls up to practice with an ash cross on their forehead?
KAYLA: Yeah. Okay, so you do that for whatever reason. And then for the next 40 days, it's called Lent. And to celebrate you on Fridays, don't eat meat, except you can have fish
SARAH: Can have fish.
KAYLA: And so, you go to your church basement and they have a fish fry.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But you don't like fish, so you get the Mac and Cheese, and it's really good.
SARAH: My church doesn't have a basement.
KAYLA: I don't know where you would have a fish fry if not in a basement. I'm sorry. That's the only place I can imagine a fish fry.
SARAH: There's a decent amount of space. There are places to have the fish fry.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: When I was a child, I'm sure I went but my mom doesn't eat fish.
KAYLA: Mm-mm. I like worked fish fry. I like took the little order sometimes. That was fun.
SARAH: Mm, anyway.
KAYLA: Okay, so you do that. And then also you give something up.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: I remember one year I gave up using my iPod Touch. Why would I do that?
SARAH: One year I gave up adding salt to food.
KAYLA: Why?
SARAH: Now to be clear, I would tell people that I gave up salt, but I didn't give up salt, I gave up adding additional salt to food.
KAYLA: Which is big for you, that's like how you eat food.
SARAH: Like, why did I do... What was the point?
KAYLA: Because we loved Jesus.
SARAH: I didn't get closer to God.
KAYLA: So, the reason you're supposed to give something up is because like Jesus and Moses went and did like 40 days of fasting and like beat Satan or whatever.
SARAH: Beat Satan?
KAYLA: So, you're supposed to like give up something you really like or like a bad habit. So, you're like...
SARAH: Yeah. It's supposed to like improve you. But really what people do is they give up something for 40 days and then they just go back to exactly the same as they was.
KAYLA: I remember one year I gave up juice, because I love juice. And I remember we actually were in New Orleans or we were on like vacation, I think in New Orleans for Easter. And I remember we like went to the store and got a big thing of juice and I was just drinking it. Maybe that's the origin of why I just like drink juice out of the bottle. Anyway. So, you give something up for 40 days and then it gets to Easter and Jesus rises from the grave and you get to eat salt again or whatever.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: All this to say, I heard people talking about what they were giving up for Lent today and one of my coworkers said, saying yes, she was giving up to. And I didn't hear any additional context. I like was… it was a drive-by. I just kind of like walked by a conversation happening, but I was like, “huh? I love that.”
SARAH: The only person that I have encountered recently who has mentioned anything about giving up something for Lent, was, “we're giving up chips for Lent.”
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: And we were at an Oscars party and so she was like, “I got to eat all the chips now.”
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And that's how a lot of people approach Lent.
KAYLA: Yes. I saw a TikTok today of someone saying that they're going to pick up a bad habit for Lent, not get rid of one.
SARAH: Good.
KAYLA: And I liked that. So anyway, I thought we could discuss some like aspec-related things that people should give up for Lent. My dad is going to hate this episode, it's minute 14 and we haven't gotten into anything yet.
SARAH: And we started so strong too.
KAYLA: Did we?
SARAH: In the first one minute and 12 seconds, because I did…
KAYLA: I did the Bologna fest.
SARAH: Yeah, I did look at the clock when I said like, “Kayla, what are we talking about this week?” And it was way earlier than usual.
KAYLA: It was the Bologna fest of it all. And then trying to remember Lent. Okay, anyway, we're doing it. Sarah, kick us off.
SARAH: Okay, so I'm looking at the Wikipedia for Lent.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: And it says the making of a Lenten sacrifice…
KAYLA: Lenten.
SARAH: In which Christians give up a personal pleasure for the duration of 40 days is a traditional practice during Lent. Also, the Wikipedia says that observances are fasting, praying, almsgiving and abstinence. Do people not fuck during Lent?
KAYLA: This is huge because I was going to say that. I was going to say people should give up fucking for Lent.
SARAH: I was going to say ace-specs specifically should not give up fucking for Lent for those who do out of spite.
KAYLA: Interesting. So allos should give up fucking, but ace-specs don't have to?
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I like that.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I need to… abstinence for Lent. This is huge. Now imagine you're someone that does… and I'm sorry to say these words, no Fat February.
SARAH: Ew
KAYLA: And then you go straight into Lent.
SARAH: Ew.
KAYLA: Tough. Wait, they're saying abstinence is refraining from eating meat, that's not what abstinence means.
SARAH: That's not what abstinence means.
KAYLA: No, no, no.
SARAH: I mean, I guess, like, based on the strict definition that abstinence is just abstaining from something, but abstinence is about sex. I just Googled Ramadan, are you allowed to have sex?
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: You can only do it if it's dark out.
KAYLA: Funny.
SARAH: Well, because like…
KAYLA: I like it.
SARAH: Because, like, daylight is when the fasting happens, so you have to abstain from things during the daylight. But once you break your fast and you have your dates.
KAYLA: I mean, you can't eat pussy while you're fasting, you know?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: I remember when I was in high school, because Ramadan is not the same, like, it kind of shifts over the years, what time of year it is. And I remember when I was in high school, it was in, like, August. And there were some people, like, before the school year started, the football team was, like, starting practice. And there were some people on the football team who were observing Ramadan.
KAYLA: Oh, aw.
SARAH: And so, like, once it was dark out, they could, like, you know, have their dates and do practice or whatever. But in Michigan, in the summer, the sun sets so late. By August, it's probably, like, 8:30 or 9.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But, like, imagine, like, I'm just imagining…
KAYLA: Do some midnight football practice.
SARAH: Like, Ramadan in June is probably the worst.
KAYLA: Yeah, I guess you'd want it to be in the winter.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: Yeah. Anyway.
SARAH: Anyway, this isn't about Ramadan. But here we are.
KAYLA: Good to know. Okay, so I think you should give up fucking for Lent. Unless you're ace-spec and then you don't have to.
SARAH: Unless you’re ace-spec. Are we doing things that you shouldn't give up Lent or things that you should give up for Lent?
KAYLA: I guess whatever feels right to you.
SARAH: I think people should give up straight people for Lent.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Just stop being straight.
KAYLA: Oh, everyone. Just, like, give up being straight for Lent.
SARAH: Just, like, don't do it.
KAYLA: Okay, so no straight activities during Lent?
SARAH: Yeah. Did you see that fucking quote from fucking Armie Hammer? The fucking cannibal.
KAYLA: No, I'm afraid.
SARAH: Let me read it to you. This is from Pop Base. Armie Hammer reveals he tried hooking up with the man through Grindr because, “gay dudes have it so easy” and “women are the worst.” Here is the full quote, “I tried hooking up with a dude one time. It was hilarious, because I was like, you know what? Like, women are the worst. Gay dudes seem to have it so easy. Like, so easy. I'm at a restaurant. My phone blows up and it's like Grindr. And someone else is like, I'm at the same restaurant. Do you want a blowjob in the bathroom? And you're like, hey, guys, I'll be back in five minutes. Okay, this could work. This could work. Yeah, let's try this. I remember I started making out with him and I just remember being like, God, beards. Oh, I get why women like it when you shave. Like, this thing is fucking rough. Like, how do I get in there? I put my arms around him and I was like, oh, my God. And these shoulders are so wide. He's so big. He's almost my height. Like, this is so strange. It did physically for me absolutely nothing. Nothing. Like, not even a twitch. He reached for my dick and I responded, you're not going to touch my flaccid penis. Like, this is not going to happen.” No one asked.
KAYLA: Y'all ever be so misogynistic and hate women so much that you try to turn gay?
SARAH: That you try?
KAYLA: That ever happened to you?
SARAH: But then you kiss a guy and you don't like how broad his shoulders are.
KAYLA: I don't know what to say about any of that.
SARAH: He would hate Ilona Maher, just tall women, you know?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: He would hate them.
KAYLA: I think we should give up men for Lent.
SARAH: Oh, my God. So, this reply that says, “my culture is not your costume.”
KAYLA: Funny.
SARAH: The way you thought being gay was just a speed run to easy hookups. Sir, this is not a trial subscription. Anyway.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: Oh, no. This person is saying, “this is such an unnecessarily long way to tell us he's a bottom.”
KAYLA: I need that part of the guy who was making out with him to come forward.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I need to hear the other side of the story.
SARAH: Yeah, that's really important. Also, what kind of restaurant were you at?
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: Okay. Anyway, Lent.
KAYLA: We have to be getting on topic.
SARAH: You said we should give up men?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I think we should give up diet culture.
KAYLA: Yeah.
[00:20:00]
SARAH: Which is the opposite of what a lot of people do for Lent, but I think we should.
KAYLA: I witnessed someone saying today, in jest, but I was still like, “let's not.” They were like, “I really want to lose weight. I want to get back to how I looked when I was younger. I need to get on one of those ‘90 toxic diet,” like 90s toxic diets. And I was like…
SARAH: Oh no
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: I know a person who is like a normal average weight.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: This person would not be considered overweight by any scientific measure.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And this person's father told them that they should be on Ozempic.
KAYLA: No, no, no, no, no.
SARAH: And I was like, “girl.”
KAYLA: I think for Lent and then for… always, we should give up Ozempic when you don't medically need it.
SARAH: Correct.
KAYLA: What are you doing?
SARAH: And other GLP-1s.
KAYLA: I know what you're saying.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: I think for Lent, you should give up shoulding.
SARAH: Yeah. You ought to give up shoulding.
KAYLA: You ought. Which is funny because Lent, I think is just one big should.
SARAH: Yeah, truly Catholicism is just one big should.
KAYLA: One big should, that is very true.
SARAH: I think for Lent, you should give up trapezoids.
KAYLA: Explain.
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Actually, I don't want to give up trapezoids. Let's give up a worse shape.
KAYLA: Are you like often interfacing with a trapezoid?
SARAH: I just… I kind of like a trapezoid, I don't know.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Kind of into it.
KAYLA: That's interesting.
SARAH: I'll think of a bad shape.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: While I'm doing that, I won't ever come up with one.
KAYLA: I think we should give up the relationship escalator.
SARAH: Ugh, so true.
KAYLA: Get off of there.
SARAH: Get off of it.
KAYLA: Get out of there. Even if you're taking the same steps as are on the elevator…
SARAH: Use the goddamn stairs.
KAYLA: You should take the stairs. Anyway.
SARAH: Yeah, I agree. I think for Lent, we should give up paywalls.
KAYLA: Oh.
SARAH: But journalism outlets, the government should just give them money.
KAYLA: Imagine. I've been using a lot of great websites that you can give them the URL to a website and then they get you past it, and that's lovely.
SARAH: Yeah. Like I want to support journalism, but everything is paywalled. It's like how people were like, “Oh, we're cord cutting. We don't like cable, because we're going to do all these streamers.” And then now people are like, “wow, we wish we had cable back because now I'm subscribed to 65 different streamers.”
KAYLA: It's true.
SARAH: I think we should, for Lent, give up billionaires
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And they should give up their money.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Like all of it.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Like they're destitute now. Sorry.
KAYLA: Great. I love that.
SARAH: Make your way. Bootstraps it, baby.
KAYLA: I think for Lent, for the 40 days of Lent, everyone should give up kissing with their eyes closed. Now come with me on this, okay? I understand it's uncomfortable. People don't be kissing with their eyes open because it's like weird.
SARAH: Well, it's weird, but also because like, not that I have experience with this because really I don't, but, but like if you're that close to someone.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: You can't… sorry, I'm covering my mouth because I'm trying to...
KAYLA: You're kissing. Like she's kissing.
SARAH: You can't focus on what you see because you're too close.
KAYLA: No. But here's my thing about it. It's awkward, right? No one wants to be kissing with their eyes open, but I think that we put kissing and other romantic things on such a high pedestal
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And people are like, “oh, a first kiss, first kiss,” whatever, kissing, kissing, kissing. That if we all spent collectively 40 days only kissing with our eyes open, we could maybe all come to an agreement about like, yeah, kissing can be nice, but let's like all come to agreement that it's also like fucking weird. And if you don't want to do that, that's okay, because like, look at it. Look what you're doing. Open your eyes and look at what you're doing.
SARAH: Like you're smashing your breathing and eating holes together.
KAYLA: Yeah. And I want you to open your eyes and look at that and then we can decide as a nation as if we need to be like pressuring 13-year-olds to be doing that.
SARAH: Like respectfully, why are you sticking your tongue down someone's throat?
KAYLA: Yeah. And I want you to watch. I want you to watch, I want you to look while you're doing that.
SARAH: Yucky.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: I think for Lent, we should give up Lent.
KAYLA: Oh, interesting. A rebellion.
SARAH: How does that work? I don't know.
KAYLA: I don’t know.
SARAH: I don't know
KAYLA: Because here's the thing, Lent starts…
SARAH: We started out as friends. It was cool, but it was all pretend. Yeah, yeah. Since you been gone.
KAYLA: Right. You start Lent and you give up Lent. So, does Lent immediately end? So, you stop giving it up?
SARAH: It's Schrodinger's Lent.
KAYLA: Is it like an endless cycle of Lent and un-Lent?
SARAH: It's Schrodinger's Lent.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Is Lent or isn't Lent? You'll never know.
KAYLA: You'll never know. Do you think like you would get in trouble for giving up church for Lent? I'm not going to go this month.
SARAH: That's funny.
KAYLA: But I love church. It's such a sacrifice for me. I love going to church.
SARAH: Oh my God.
KAYLA: I love getting up early on Sunday. I'm so sad.
SARAH: That like definitely wouldn't be allowed, but it is very funny. Like you're following the letter of the law.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Malicious compliance.
KAYLA: Malicious compliance. I feel like, I don't know if I ever seriously tried to do that, but I feel like I remember as a child asking if that was a possibility for me.
SARAH: Amazing.
KAYLA: I would lay in bed as long as possible on Sunday morning. Like I would be awake and I would hear everyone moving around, but I would just lay in bed hoping that they would just let me skip that day. They would just like leave me and be like, “ah, she's asleep.” We'll leave her that day. They always came to get me.
SARAH: I think for Lent, we should give up ugly pride flags and…
KAYLA: Redo them?
SARAH: Yeah, fix them.
KAYLA: Which ones in particular?
SARAH: Oh, I don't know, people have opinions.
KAYLA: I really want the purple on the bi flag and on the ace flag to switch.
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: I've seen a picture of someone switching them and the tones of purple work so much better on the opposite flags. It's so much better.
SARAH: Valid.
KAYLA: So, I think we should do that.
SARAH: Okay, slay.
KAYLA: Do you think that I could tell work that I'm giving up work for Lent and then if they try to tell me no, tell them it's my religion and they're discriminating against me?
SARAH: That’s religious discrimination? That's compelling. You know, I saw a thing yesterday about… because everything is fucked in the United States
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: About like in, I want to say it was Sweden, it may have been Norway. It was like one of those northerly European countries. And up until like 1979 or something, homosexuality was a crime and it was considered an illness.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: So, what they did is all the gay people went to the government and they were like, “hello, I need treatment for my illness. Also, I can't work because of my illness.”
KAYLA: Because I'm so ill.
SARAH: And then they said, “never mind, it's not an illness anymore.”
KAYLA: Yeah, malicious compliance, you know?
SARAH: Love to see it.
KAYLA: Love to see it.
SARAH: Although I've heard that apparently Republicans are using ‘malicious compliance’ as a term in a different way than everyone else and it's just anything that they don't agree with.
KAYLA: That's not it.
SARAH: Like it's just… they're saying that if Trump says DEI is out and so companies are like, “okay, I guess DEI is out.” And then they get rid of DEI and then there are negative consequences to that because they followed what the president said, they're like, “oh no, that's malicious compliance.” It’s like, what the fuck are you talking about? I don't even understand.
KAYLA: I don't understand that
SARAH: Girl, I don't either.
KAYLA: Yuck. For many reasons.
SARAH: Anyway, I think for Lent we should give up MAGA and MAHA. I think an upsetting fact about the English language that MAGA and MAHA are pronounced differently.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: But you wouldn't say MAHA, it doesn't work.
KAYLA: It doesn't.
SARAH: You could say MAGA, but that's...
KAYLA: That sounds weird.
SARAH: It sounds European and we don't want to be European, we want to be Russian, apparently.
KAYLA: I think we should give up the president forever.
SARAH: That's such a good idea. I saw a video today that was like, “I'm not saying we should…”
KAYLA: I saw, I loved him.
SARAH: “But we could…” like, “someone could. “
KAYLA: “And I'm not saying.”
SARAH: “And I'm not saying that we should.”
KAYLA: “I shouldn't.”
SARAH: “Or that it's right.”
KAYLA: “You shouldn't.”
SARAH: “But someone definitely could.” And there was no further context, but everyone knew what was happening.
KAYLA: No. Everyone knew. I saw that video. It was very silly.
SARAH: I think we should give up RFK Jr. and Elon. I think we should… you know what?
KAYLA: Just give it all up.
SARAH: They're trying to make us give up the government by stripping…
KAYLA: Maybe I will…
SARAH: And you know what? Let's give up the whole government. Okay?
KAYLA: I think...
[00:30:00]
SARAH: If we want government efficiency, you know, the most efficient way for a government to…
KAYLA: Malicious compliance
SARAH: Is for there not to be one.
KAYLA: That's, you know, how are they going to spend money if they don't exist?
SARAH: Exactly.
KAYLA: Exactly.
SARAH: They want small government? I'll give you small government.
KAYLA: I'll give you small government. I'll show you small government. I think that we should give up. I think we should give up. Okay.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: No, that's it. I think we should give up.
SARAH: Oh, we should give up? Yeah, you're right.
KAYLA: No, just kidding.
SARAH: I think we should give up when you're at the gym and you take the dumbbells that are a popular weight that everybody is needing and wanting and you take them and then you take another set of dumbbells and then you just have multiple sets of dumbbells, which you obviously can't all be using at the same time.
KAYLA: That'd be very impressive.
SARAH: And the gym is very busy and you just sit on them. Maybe even you bring them to a different part of the gym.
KAYLA: I think this is rude. I think this is a rude thing to do.
SARAH: It's like, bro, I need those 15-pound dumbbells, I need them.
KAYLA: I think you should sue. You should sue.
SARAH: Yesterday I had to use 20-pound dumbbells and they were even the other dumbbells in other section and they were so heavy.
KAYLA: Maybe that person is doing it on purpose to make you stronger. Maybe they like know you want the 15s and they're like, “no, Sarah, I know you can do the 20s.”
SARAH: I know you can do 20. Anyway, I think we should give up that.
KAYLA: Okay. I think we should give up not bringing our dogs everywhere.
SARAH: I was about to say, was this inspired by my gym thing? But you never check your snaps.
KAYLA: Well, I will tell you what made me think of it is the woman at your gym.
SARAH: Right.
KAYLA: Who wears like jean shorts and has the dog.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Like in the stroller.
SARAH: The dog barked at me yesterday.
KAYLA: No! Rude.
SARAH: Okay. For those not in the know, there are some recurring faves at my gym that are always there at the same time as me. Yesterday, I saw a calisthenics man with the worst bowl cut known to mankind.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: I hadn't seen him in a while. There are the two middle-aged men who always work out together. There's the girl with strong legs, you know?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Oh, there's the girl who live streams herself working out.
KAYLA: Work. Yes.
SARAH: Um, there's a couple others, but my personal favorite is the woman who has a dog stroller with a Pomeranian in it. She wears like jorts or like booty short, but like outside pants. Like not like gym shorts.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: She always wears a visor. The other day she was wearing a crochet hat with a visor.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: And she has reading glasses that are very dirty perched up on upon the visor.
KAYLA: Very dirty, okay.
SARAH: And she wears wedge heel tennis shoes.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And she brings her dog in the stroller around with her everywhere in the gym. I don't know if she has ever… if anyone has ever told her not to bring the dog in the gym or if they just are like, okay.
KAYLA: Yeah, I think at that point you just kind of let it happen.
SARAH: It's a Pomeranian. I've been calling it, he, I don't actually know the gender of this dog. I believe it's a pretty old dog.
KAYLA: I would hope so. If it's in a stroller.
SARAH: The tongue is kind of flicking out.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And this dog's hair is a little bit crazy, but recently they got a haircut and they look very dapper.
KAYLA: Okay. Very good.
SARAH: Looking very, very dapper. And yesterday I saw the dog, he was wearing a navy-blue t-shirt.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: And I was admiring it and then he barked at me.
KAYLA: He said, “do not come for my shirt.”
SARAH: He said, “you looked at me for too long.”
KAYLA: You know who he would love?
SARAH: Who?
KAYLA: The diva from last week.
SARAH: The diva from last week?
KAYLA: Sarah! The diva from last week. She doesn't remember the diva. Let me remind you of the diva.
SARAH: Who is… Oh, the diva from last week. Oh, the diva
KAYLA: The diva from last week.
SARAH: Who is this diva? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The dog wearing the clothes.
KAYLA: The jeans and then the… yeah, and the sunglasses and the shoes.
SARAH: I was not thinking of the podcast.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: I was like, what other, like outside of the podcast, where was there a diva? And I was like, “I don't know what you're talking about.” And also, this woman has… she's over 40 and has had a lot of work done in her face.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Probably her boobs also.
KAYLA: I love that.
SARAH: And she's just there every day.
KAYLA: Good for her.
SARAH: You know, the other day I got jump scared because I heard someone like scream at the gym.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: And I turned around and it was because a man had showed this woman a photo of his dog.
KAYLA: Oh, it was like a good scream?
SARAH: Yeah. She was like, “oh my God, that’s a…”
KAYLA: Your gym is crazy.
SARAH: I know.
KAYLA: This kind of stuff is not happening at my gym.
SARAH: I'm also going at like peak busy time.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Which sucks, but.
KAYLA: My gym is just like sad. It's like in a basement and everyone always just seems like a little upset to be there.
SARAH: I'm sorry. I’m sorry to hear that. Yesterday I saw someone in the gym wearing an ‘Agust D Tour’ t-shirt and I was like, “how do I telegraph to you that I'm one of you without speaking?”
KAYLA: You know what I saw at the gym the other day that was insane?
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: Because I have like my elliptical machine, I'm always on my same machine.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And they're across from the treadmills. And I see this man stroll up to the treadmill. He had on, I guess they were gym shorts.
SARAH: I forgot about the white man who wears a durag.
KAYLA: How could you forget?
SARAH: And he wanders around playing music out loud on his phone. And sometimes he'll just stand there and watch sports on the TV for like 10 minutes at a time.
KAYLA: Just free TV, I guess it's not really free.
SARAH: He wears glasses also. Anyway. What?
KAYLA: Okay, so there's this young man, he was wearing shorts. I guess they were like gym shorts, but also like if I saw someone wearing them out, I wouldn't be like, “ah, gym shorts.” So, like not really.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And then like a white t-shirt and then a flannel and then a beanie and then a can of Celsius, and we just got on the treadmill like that.
SARAH: I occasionally see those folks.
KAYLA: In our outside clothes?
SARAH: Yeah, that does… I do see that occasionally.
KAYLA: I then also, yesterday, I was like in the little area of the gym where you like can sit and stretch and whatever.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And the oldest man I've ever seen had these like big plastic elbow pads on. And I was like, okay, I guess… And he was kind of like walking around the gym, but like jogging to keep moving. And then my man just started crawling, crawling everywhere on the floor. And then there's like this bar on the ground that you can like hold on to while you like stretch or whatever. And he had his feet up on the bar, but his arms were on the ground. And he's just scrambling around, crawling. I was like, “sir, what are you training for?” Like, should I start?
SARAH: The apocalypse?
KAYLA: Right. I was like, “is there something I don't know? I feel like I should be doing this too.” I was just sitting there touching my toes and he's just like… it was so wild.
SARAH: That reminds me, not that, but the previous thing reminds me of, I was like, I knew I had a picture of something recently in the gym and I did just find it. My caption is short king giving lesbian with his jeans and carabiner in the gym. He's wearing a polo shirt.
KAYLA: What?
SARAH: And like dark wash jeans.
KAYLA: That's a lesbian.
SARAH: And he was pretty short.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And he was just there with his friend just doing weight training.
KAYLA: Jeans, dude! I don't get it.
SARAH: I mean, listen, the woman with the Pomeranian is always wearing wedge heels. I like…
KAYLA: It's so funny, that's so good.
SARAH: Oh, the other fact about her is that she drives like a 2004 Lexus. I once saw her in the parking lot.
KAYLA: That to me is the funniest detail because obviously like a woman who like has a dog in a stroller and like has had obvious work done gives rich. Right?
SARAH: Uh-huh.
KAYLA: Like that just the wedge heels…
SARAH: But we’re in…
KAYLA: Like the whole thing gives rich and then you have the world's oldest car.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I love it.
SARAH: It's so good. Anyway, I think for Lent, we should not give up… Okay. What are those? You know how like in high school, not high school, we weren't in high school together. You know how in college we had a short shorts guy?
KAYLA: Love short shorts guy, I think about him often.
SARAH: Like just like figures in the community that you don't know by name. But like, I think for Lent, we should absolutely not give that up. And we should have more of that.
KAYLA: More of those, I love having a little character.
SARAH: Yep.
KAYLA: We have like only one in my neighborhood and it's like sad.
SARAH: It's too bad.
KAYLA: Yeah. We need more.
SARAH: It's just too bad. What? Yeah, it's your turn.
KAYLA: I'm thinking.
SARAH: I think this Lent, we should give up spending a long time in IKEA.
KAYLA: What? Why?
SARAH: Because you're so angry afterwards.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I was at IKEA with my mom when she was here. And I was like, “we should eat before we go to IKEA.” Like we weren't like actively hungry. But I was like, “we have to prepare.”
KAYLA: You need to eat. You have to prepare.
[00:40:00]
SARAH: And then when we left, she was like, “I'm so glad we ate before, because if we're like this when we did eat before, imagine what it would be like if we hadn’t.”
KAYLA: That's fair. I guess if I go to IKEA at like not peak hours when it's empty, I'm chilled to be there for a long time. But if it's busy.
SARAH: Well, we were like also like looking for a specific thing.
KAYLA: That’s hard, that's different than like just browsing around.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That’s fair.
SARAH: And then my mom was like, “we can get it now.” And I was like, but the box wasn't available in the self-service, you had to like order it and like go to the thing around the corner. And I was like, “I don't think this box is going to fit in my car.” But then we couldn't physically see the box. So, then we had to look at the dimensions of the box and be like, “will this fit in my car?” So, then we went, I was like, “I don't think it's going to fit in my car.” And we went out and we got those like paper measuring tapes and we measured. And I was like, “mom, there's no way this is fitting in my car.” And she's like, “you are correct.” So, then we had to have it delivered.
KAYLA: That does seem like a lot for an IKEA trip.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I think we should give up this episode for Lent.
SARAH: I do too. One thing that I will say, I would not want to work at an IKEA. Because like working like any sort of like retail sales job is hard enough to begin with, but everyone is in their worst state at IKEA.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's true, that's true.
SARAH: Like you're getting people at their worst all the time.
KAYLA: That's probably why they have the food court there.
SARAH: Oh yeah.
KAYLA: Is to be like, “please stop being so angry, go eat a meatball.” I bet.
SARAH: Eat a meatball. Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: My mom was like, “oh, I want to get jam. I want to get meatballs.” And I was like, “you have to fly home. Go to the IKEA in Michigan.” It's right by my sister's house.
KAYLA: It is, that's true.
SARAH: Anyway. Yeah, I do think we should give up this episode for Lent.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Um, Kayla, what's our poll for this week? How many things did we actually give up in this episode?
KAYLA: Like two. I guess.
SARAH: Three?
KAYLA: I think we should ask, either, what are you giving up for Lent? Or if you were to do Lent, what would you give up?
SARAH: I'm fundamentally against the idea of giving up something for Lent. Unless you're like actually religious.
KAYLA: Yeah, it'd be weird to do when you're not religious.
SARAH: Well, no, but a lot of people who like aren't actually that religious just use it as an excuse to be like, “I'm not going to eat sugar.”
KAYLA: Boring.
SARAH: Stupid.
KAYLA: Stupid.
SARAH: Eat sugar. It's delicious.
KAYLA: It's delicious.
SARAH: Okay. Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week?
KAYLA: My beef is when you're about to go on vacation and so, everyone at work is like, “okay, you're leaving. But before you leave, I want you to do this. And also, this. And also, this. And also, this. And also, this.
SARAH: See that… Here's my problem with that. That is predicated on you being able to take a vacation.
KAYLA: Well, I was going to say my juice is that I'm going on vacation. I do realize…
SARAH: No, I know. But just like…
KAYLA: Oh, she's so sad. She's deeply sad.
SARAH: Continue.
KAYLA: That's it. My juice is I'm going on vacation.
SARAH: My beef is that I have to edit this podcast, which I know happens every week.
KAYLA: Every time. Every time.
SARAH: It's every time. 336? Whatever number we're at. I got to do them all. I do. I do got to do them all.
KAYLA: You haven’t done all 336, I've done like maybe 10 of them. Remember there was that summer I edited?
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: I'm not saying it didn't happen, I'm saying I don't remember it.
KAYLA: It's true. I did.
SARAH: You could be gaslighting me so hard.
KAYLA: No, I did. It was the summer I had that internship on the other side of the state. And I think you had your internship in LA that summer.
SARAH: No, but we like prerecorded half of the episodes.
KAYLA: I distinctly remember being in charge of editing for a summer.
SARAH: All right. Well… okay. Um, but yeah, I just, I don't want to edit this. It just takes so long and I have a couch to build.
KAYLA: She has a lot of furniture to build.
SARAH: My mom was like, “it costs like $50 extra to have someone assemble it. We should do that.” And I was like… but they would have had to come on a different day and it's like a whole separate thing through like TaskRabbit.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And I was like, “I don't need more people coming into my house.” Also, when it was delivered, the guys that delivered it did not speak English very well. And so, I was trying to explain to them that the boxes would not fit in the front elevator. And so, I had to take them to my building's freight elevator and they were confused.
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: But we got there eventually. It was fun.
KAYLA: That’s good.
SARAH: And my dad was like, “did they speak Swedish?” And I was like, “no.”
KAYLA: No
SARAH: Not unless Swedish sounds like Spanish. I don't know what to tell you.
KAYLA: They changed Swedish!?
SARAH: Um, my juice is… I'm just thinking of more beefs.
KAYLA: Your Pikmin?
SARAH: My juice is… I mean, sure. My juice is I might be getting a cat this weekend. By the time you listen to this podcast, I might have a cat.
KAYLA: This is huge.
SARAH: I also might not.
KAYLA: Well, those are the two states of having a cat.
SARAH: Those are the two states. There is no Schrodinger's cat. Just Schrodinger's Lent. Um, okay. Thank you.
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: You can tell us about your beef, your juice, which religion you're giving up for Lent…
KAYLA: Oh, weird.
SARAH: On our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod. Please don't give up your Patreon patronage for Lent.
KAYLA: Um, I mean, you can.
SARAH: I mean, you can.
KAYLA: I get it.
SARAH: It's not my preference, but I understand.
KAYLA: Do what feels right, you know?
SARAH: Um, our $5 patrons who we are promoting this week are Meredith, Morgan Impink, Philip Rueker, Phoenix Eliot, and Rachel. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Alastor, who would like to promote the podcast 'Shadows and Shenanigans', Alyson, who would like to promote Arden Gray by Ray Stoeve, Ani, who would like to promote the importance of being kind to yourself and others. Arcnes, who would like to promote the Trevor Project and Benjamin Ybarra, who would like to promote Tabletop games. Our other $10 patrons are Bones, Celina Dobson, Clare Olsen, Derick & Carissa, Elle Bitter, my Aunt Jeannie, Kayla's dad, Maff, Martin Chiesl, Olivia O'Shea, Parker, Phoenix Leodinh, Purple Hayes, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm, and Val. Our $15 patrons are Ace, who would like to promote the writer, Crystal Scherer, Andrew Hillum, who would like to promote the… Fuck me! The ‘Invisible Spectrum Podcast.’
KAYLA: No, I gave that up for Lent.
SARAH: God damn it. Um, Hector Murillo… but you're aspec.
KAYLA: Oh, that's right, I didn't give it up for Lent, I will fuck you.
SARAH: And I want you to.
KAYLA: Just kidding, I don't want to.
SARAH: Andrew Hillum, who would like to promote the ‘Invisible Spectrum Podcast,’ Hector Murillo, who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, Nathaniel White, who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla’s Aunt Nina, who would like to promote katemaggartart.com and Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are Dragonfly, Dr. Jacki, my mom, and River, who would like to promote 40 days and 40 nights, just the concepts. Thanks for listening, tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: I'm so sorry. And until then, do not give up taking care of your cows.
SARAH: Yeah, you can't do that, they need to be taken care of.
KAYLA: You can’t, be responsible, please don't do that. Goodbye.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]
