Sounds Fake But Okay
Sounds Fake But Okay
Ep 336: Non-Allo Major Life Events
Hey what's up hello! Today we have LOTS of house to keep. Then, we talk about the importance of celebrating major life events that aren't allo-centric things like weddings or baby showers.
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/non-allo-major-life-events
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SARAH: Hey, what's up, hello! Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I'm Sarah, that's me.)
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual girl, (that's me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, ‘Celebrating Major Life Events.’
BOTH: Sounds Fake But Okay.
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod!
KAYLA: Hello!
SARAH: Howdy! How's everyone doing?
KAYLA: Sleepy.
SARAH: Having a good time? I have a slight headache.
KAYLA: Uh oh. That's not good.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I’m sorry to hear this.
SARAH: Me too. My curtain is moving. My curtain is alive.
KAYLA: Why? I wonder why.
SARAH: I wonder why as well.
KAYLA: What's happening?
SARAH: Kayla, should we start with some housekeeping this week?
KAYLA: I feel as though we may have a house to keep.
SARAH: I think we have like a whole...
KAYLA: A whole house.
SARAH: Like not even just a house. Like this is a compound.
KAYLA: Oh damn. Wow. Busy.
SARAH: There's a lot of keeping that needs to be done. Who wants to keep first? We both have a keep.
KAYLA: We both have a keep. I don't know. Should we like rock, paper, scissors?
SARAH: I mean, I’ll keep first just because I've already...
KAYLA: You have already hinted. That's true.
SARAH: To my moving curtain. I have acquired a child.
KAYLA: Yay!
SARAH: This child has four paws and a tail.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: And her nose is the color of an eraser.
KAYLA: I can see this.
SARAH: Me too. I'm looking at it. She is a cat.
KAYLA: Yay!
SARAH: Her name is ‘Adderall.’
KAYLA: Yay!
SARAH: She's a very good girl. She is supposedly eight months old. She is...
KAYLA: Maybe younger.
SARAH: Six pounds.
KAYLA: She's so wee.
SARAH: She is an orange girl which means that she is rare. But she's very light orange.
KAYLA: She is. She's like a cream, creamy.
SARAH: I believe she was described as like a cream-orange.
KAYLA: Yeah. Creamy orange. She's very fuzzy.
SARAH: Yeah, she has long hair.
KAYLA: Big tail.
SARAH: Big tail. Her length is slinky.
KAYLA: Yeah, she's very long. I saw her stretched.
SARAH: Don't eat an eraser.
KAYLA: But her nose!
SARAH: It's white though. It's not even the color of her nose.
KAYLA: Not right. Oh, I see the top of her. Oh, there goes her tail.
SARAH: She's about to stop my recording. Please don't do that. I’m gonna move that out of the way.
KAYLA: It's so nice to not be the only one with a cat ruining the podcast now, it feels excellent. I see the tippy top of her little cone.
SARAH: Yeah, she has a cone because she had to get spayed. I got her from the shelter but she hadn't been spayed yet so I had to wait until she got spayed and then I picked her up on Tuesday
KAYLA: Tuesday
SARAH: Which was the day that she got spayed and she came home high as fuck.
KAYLA: The videos of her trying to walk are so silly.
SARAH: It was combination of her being high and really hating the cone.
KAYLA: Yeah, she didn't quite know. She didn't quite know.
SARAH: Yeah. She has gotten used to the cone. I got a donut, they're like neck pillows.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But it didn't work in this case because she was still able to reach her incision and she was trying to lick at it because it was bleeding because she rubbed it all over the floor because she was crawling around under my bed.
KAYLA: She was very busy.
SARAH: And it made the incision bleed and then she was trying to like clean it but I was like, “no girl, you can't do that.”
KAYLA: No, no, no.
SARAH: So, we had to put the real cone back on her. She's much better at living with it now but previously she would pretty much only walk backwards because she thought that if she walked backwards…
KAYLA: The cone would come off.
SARAH: The cone would stay where it was.
KAYLA: She was kind of just doing a lot of thrashing. A lot of wiggling of the head.
SARAH: Yeah, a lot of wiggling. She just like fell over backwards several times.
KAYLA: Graceful.
SARAH: Yeah, she's now trying to climb up the window.
KAYLA: Oh, that's nice. She's an acrobat.
SARAH: She's looking at a billboard that says, “you belong here.” So, a nice message.
KAYLA: Serendipity. She made it.
SARAH: But she is my child. Her name is ‘Adderall Ann Costello.’
KAYLA: So where did Ann come from? I didn't ask about this.
SARAH: So, the first-born daughter in my family gets the middle name Ann.
KAYLA: Ah, and she's your first-born daughter.
SARAH: She's my first-born daughter.
KAYLA: That’s very good.
SARAH: So, my mom has the middle name Ann. My sister has the middle name Ann. Rosie does not because Rosie is a canine and canine girlies get the middle name ‘Hoinky Louise.’
KAYLA: Ah, that's it. That is, yes.
SARAH: Which is after our Lord and Savior, Sadie. If you're listening to this podcast the day after it comes out, it is Sadie's 17th birthday.
KAYLA: Old lady.
SARAH: It's her golden birthday.
KAYLA: That's very exciting. I hope she gets to eat all the meat. Doesn't she get like boiled chicken and rice?
SARAH: Every day.
KAYLA: On her diet these days?
SARAH: Apparently, she has been having diarrhea all over the house, which is cool.
KAYLA: What a great way to celebrate a birthday.
SARAH: Well, first she was having diarrhea all over my sister's house.
KAYLA: Nice.
SARAH: And now she's having diarrhea all over my parent's house.
KAYLA: That's nice.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Diarrhea to her.
SARAH: Anyway. It's what happens when you're a 17-year-old dog.
KAYLA: It happens to the best of us.
SARAH: But yeah, I have a child, that's my life update.
KAYLA: I love Sarah's child. She's so little.
SARAH: Do we have any comments, questions, concerns? Polls? No, I don't have access to Adderall, the drug, right now, so.
KAYLA: Okay, that's good. So, she's your holdover?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That's good. A little something to take the edge off.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. She likes bell toys.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: She has a very nice cat treat.
KAYLA: She does. It looks very good.
SARAH: It's cactus-themed.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. She has a milk carton.
SARAH: Uh-huh. She hasn't gotten in it yet because she's a wide load right now.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: With her tone.
KAYLA: She has a Hello Kitty bed.
SARAH: Yeah. The shelter gave me this big old Hello Kitty bowl and this big old Hello Kitty bed. I think it's for a small dog because it is… even a large cat, it would be large for.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But they gave it to me.
KAYLA: That’s nice.
SARAH: And I was like, so kawaii.
KAYLA: So kawaii. Maybe that's her vibe, you know. She's girly pop.
SARAH: Yeah. Adderall, also known as ‘Addie,’ of course.
KAYLA: Obviously.
SARAH: Her shelter name was ‘Star.’ Which I didn't want to keep.
KAYLA: It's better than Billy's shelter name.
SARAH: What was that?
KAYLA: She was ‘Scooter.’
SARAH: Scooter. Yeah, she's not a scooter.
KAYLA: She does like to scoot her butt on the carpet, which I don't like, but.
SARAH: Yeah, but I did not want to keep Star. She is my baby Star Candy, but I did not want to keep the name of Star.
KAYLA: That's fair. ‘Adderall’ is much better.
SARAH: Her name is ‘Adderall.’ I can't wait to take her to the vet for the first time…
KAYLA: It's gonna be good.
SARAH: And they're gonna be like, “what's her name?” And I'm gonna be like, “Adderall.”
KAYLA: Adderall. I love when vets make like TikToks of all the names in their system, it's so good.
SARAH: And I feel like most of the time we're probably gonna call her ‘Addie.’
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because my sister's cat is named ‘Arugula,’ but they pretty much only call him ‘Rugie.’ He knows the name ‘Rugie,’ he does not know the name ‘Arugula.’
KAYLA: That's nice. Billy knows her name, Gnocchi has no idea what her name is, she thinks her name is the kissing sound.
SARAH: Yeah. And it is.
KAYLA: And I mean, at this point, you could call her anything.
SARAH: Hey, you know, a lot of African languages that use clicking sounds, they're dying.
KAYLA: I'm keeping it alive.
SARAH: So, you’re just reviving them.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. Good for me.
SARAH: Yeah. Good for you.
KAYLA: It's not because she's stupid.
SARAH: White people doing it again, just saving everything.
KAYLA: Saving everything, we love to be doing that.
SARAH: He he he he. So that's my life update.
KAYLA: I love it.
SARAH: It's the most important life update of all time.
KAYLA: I think so.
SARAH: So. But now I'm a mother, and now I have to worry about my child.
KAYLA: It'll lessen. I remember…
SARAH: It already has.
KAYLA: The cat anxiety I had with Billy… I don't know if you remember the first time I flew with Billy. I was like... I thought I was gonna die. I was so anxious when I first got Billy. I thought I was gonna kill her.
SARAH: Yeah. I already... It's already less just because like that first day, she escaped her donut cone twice.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And her incision was like bleeding. And I was like...
KAYLA: That's a lot.
SARAH: And I was like scared that she was... So, I ended up working from home the next day, even though I didn't originally plan to because I was like, “I don't know what she's gonna do.” She turned out to be fine. But I was just like “what? Now I have a creature.”
KAYLA: A creature? This is fair.
[00:10:00]
SARAH: When I was at the shelter, one of the volunteers there was asking like, “oh, what if you get a new job? What if you move?” And I realized later that she was basically testing me to make sure that I wasn't gonna bring the cat back.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because there was a cat there who had been brought back.
KAYLA: Oh, that's so sad.
SARAH: The guy said that he thinks that the cat was adopted when it was like cool to adopt cats because of the fires.
KAYLA: Ah.
SARAH: And then they brought him back and he hated being there. And I was... He was so sweet. But I was like, “I have already become attached to this child I saw on the internet.”
KAYLA: Yeah, that's fair. That's very sad, don't do that.
SARAH: And I would like to meet her.
KAYLA: Only adopt an animal you can have. Please.
SARAH: Yeah. But I was like, “girl, this is my child now. I don't...”
KAYLA: Yeah. Sorry, everyone.
SARAH: If I move, this child is coming with me. I don’t know…
KAYLA: I don't know what to tell you, it's my child now.
SARAH: This is my baby. Because she was an offer up at the shelter. So, like someone came in and gave her up.
KAYLA: Oh
SARAH: And they filled out an intake form, which is how I know that she likes certain things and whatever, that's how I knew in advance.
KAYLA: Oh, interesting.
SARAH: But their reason for giving her up was allergies.
KAYLA: She is a long-hair cat, I guess.
SARAH: She is. And they had a child. They had an eight-year-old kid in the house.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: But to that I say, it's like you probably would know if you were allergic to cats.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: A lot of people are allergic to cats and they can still tolerate having cats.
KAYLA: That's true, you just take medicine.
SARAH: Like, the only excuse that I can think of that's like actually valid is if their kid turned out to be really super allergic.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But…
KAYLA: I can say, I mean, kids still develop allergies. I mean, people just develop allergies throughout their life, but.
SARAH: I know. But I'm just like, that sounds to me like an excuse.
KAYLA: Well, you got her anyway, though. It all worked out.
SARAH: She’s my baby now. Hee hee hee hee. Alright, what's your life update?
KAYLA: I'm not a mother.
SARAH: Wait, hold on.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Let's tell the people how…
KAYLA: How you found out my news.
SARAH: So, I had gotten the cat.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: I had just brought her home. And because Kayla had complained that I didn't tell her immediately that I was going to get a cat, after I was on FaceTime with my sister, I said, “I will be kind and polite and I will FaceTime Kayla.” And she did not answer.
KAYLA: I was busy.
SARAH: And I said, “well, that's her problem.”
KAYLA: It's, you know, you did try. And that's nice.
SARAH: So, then I FaceTimed Miranda, who some of you may know, longtime listeners.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Um, and we were… I was talking to Miranda and I was showing her the cat. And then like 15 or 20 minutes later, Kayla FaceTimes me back. I reject the call because I'm like, “oh, I'll just add her to the call with Miranda.”
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Um, and then you called again and I was like, “dude, calm down, I’m trying to add you to this call.”
KAYLA: I was so annoyed. I was like, “what the hell?”
SARAH: And then I added you and then you saw the Schedule 2 drug that I have in my home now.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Um, and then after having been introduced to this cat for a little bit.
KAYLA: A respectful amount of time.
SARAH: It was a respectful amount of time.
KAYLA: A very respectful amount of time.
SARAH: Um, now you may resume your story.
KAYLA: And then I was like, “Sarah, I'm so sorry to do this to you, but do you mind if I make things about me?”
SARAH: And I immediately started laughing…
KAYLA: You knew
SARAH: Because I was like, “I know exactly what happened.”
KAYLA: I became engaged on the day of Sarah's cat acquisition.
SARAH: Engaged to be married. Not engaged in a business deal.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: I mean, marriage is a business deal.
KAYLA: It is a business deal. It really is. Um, yeah, Dean, did you really dirty?
SARAH: He did.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But, you know, and he did me dirty first because, okay, remember when Kayla last December was delusional about something?
KAYLA: Yeah. Remember in the same episode every year?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Kayla said she was delusional. What she was delusional about was that she thought that she was going to get engaged soon. And so as soon as she told me about these delusions, I did what any logical person would do. And I immediately texted Dean
KAYLA: Texted Dean
SARAH: And asked him.
KAYLA: Of course.
SARAH: Um, and so I asked him if he was going to be proposing anytime soon. And he told me, “Yes.” He did not specify how soon soon was. I did ask him, I was like, “do you have a plan?” And he was like, “I don't have a ring yet. I don't have a specific…”
KAYLA: Yeah, he did not have a ring at that time.
SARAH: But he was like, “yes, I'm going to do it soon.” So, I'm like, “Okay, this is tea.” And then I had to go back to you and be like, “I don't know, delusions, man.”
KAYLA: It’s so mean.
SARAH: Did you know that I had any information?
KAYLA: No, I did wonder because I remember like over a year ago now, I remember you were like, “tell Dean I want to know beforehand.” And I did tell him that. And then he didn't tell you.
SARAH: And then he didn't tell me.
KAYLA: He did tell me because I… when I… we finished… So, I'll tell the whole story, but we finished becoming engaged and taking pictures and I finally went back to my phone
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And the only notification I had was that you had FaceTimed me. And I first thought… I was like, “did you like tell her it was happening now?” What? Why is she calling me?” And then I was like, “oh, she got the cat today. It's Tuesday.” So, then I was like immediately called back, and I was like, “I have to be seeing the cat.” But he was like, “no, I did think to tell… I thought about telling Sarah and then I just forgot and I didn't.”
SARAH: Wow. Dean is really on my shit list.
KAYLA: He really is, yeah.
SARAH: Well, because he… on December 6th 2024, I went back and I checked the date.
KAYLA: “Soon,” he said.
SARAH: He said, “soon.”
KAYLA: That was his soon.
SARAH: And you got engaged on March 11th. I'm sorry, is three months soon?
KAYLA: No. He didn't even have the ring when he told you soon. So, I don't know what he was saying.
SARAH: How was I supposed to appropriately enable your delusions if I was misinformed?
KAYLA: I don't know. See, I would have rather you not known those. So, most of the time I was… I would tell you about my delusions sometimes, but most of my delusions went to my friend Laura.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Because I couldn't trust anyone in Boston anymore, especially as it got closer because I suspected it might happen when it did.
SARAH: And you didn't even tell me that you suspected it was going to happen?
KAYLA: Well, there was a lot. I was having delusions, but I was trying to not be too delusional as to not disappoint myself. So, it was like I was trying to keep it… I was trying to keep myself chill.
SARAH: That's fair. Okay. Tell the story. I haven't heard the story yet.
KAYLA: It's true.
SARAH: We saved it so that you guys are getting a live and in person reaction.
KAYLA: Exclusive. Yeah. Okay. So, I was just on vacation in Cancun, I don't think I mentioned that last week. I think it was my juice, actually, that was going on vacation. Yeah. We went on vacation. Dean had a month off of work. His work does a thing that after so many years you get a sabbatical.
SARAH: A month?
KAYLA: Yeah, isn't that insane?
SARAH: Wow.
KAYLA: So, he spent most of his month visiting friends and family and skiing. And then we were like “okay, we'll end the month by going on a warm vacation.” So, we went to Cancun.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So, I had thought it might happen because we had talked about getting engaged for a while and I knew it was going to be happening like the beginning half of the year or else we were going to be having some problems.
SARAH: Well, you thought it was happening last year.
KAYLA: It was supposed to happen last year and then some stuff came up. Valid things, things happened, the end of the year was not kind to us. So, it didn't end up working out.
SARAH: Booooo.
KAYLA: Yeah. Shit got… It was too much at the end of the year.
SARAH: At the end of the year, I don't know if Dean named it as an option or if I did, but the idea of proposing with a ring pop was floated.
KAYLA: This does sound familiar to me.
SARAH: And I'm disappointed that it's not what we went with.
KAYLA: I specifically asked for the ring I have. I picked out my ring so I guess it's my fault.
SARAH: Why didn't you ask for a ring pop?
KAYLA: I guess I don't know. I'll get back to you on that.
SARAH: Anyway.
KAYLA: Maybe my wedding band will be a ring pop.
SARAH: Perfect.
KAYLA: Okay. Anyway. So, I thought it might happen around this vacation because the timing seemed right and I was like, “that just seems like a good opportunity to do it.” So, I thought it might happen and then a couple of days before we left Dean was like, “oh, there's this really cool restaurant I saw 30 minutes from our resort in Cancun and it's next to this really famous beach that's supposed to be really nice. So, I got us reservations for the Tuesday.” Like, the day before we're leaving. And I was like “hmm, suspicious”
SARAH: Suspicious.
KAYLA: Like, why… we're getting free food at the hotel and you want to leave to go to a restaurant and go to some nice beach, interesting. So that was suspicious but then halfway through the vacation he booked a taxi to get us there and then also to get back to the airport at the end of the vacation.
[00:20:00]
KAYLA: And he was telling me the timing of everything so he was like, “okay, dinner reservation is are at 7:15. I'm going to have the taxi pick us up at 5:20, it takes like half an hour or 45 minutes to get to the beach and the restaurant is like near there and so then we'll go to the beach for a little bit then we'll go to the restaurant and eat and then the taxi will pick us back up at 8:30 to take us back.” And in my head my mentally ill brain that's really bad at time I was like, “oh, that's not enough time to do everything.” I was like, “it's not enough time to get engaged before or after dinner.” I was like, “it just doesn't work out.”
SARAH: It doesn't work.
KAYLA: So, then I was sad and then I was like, “okay, I need to fully backpedal and convince myself it's not happening because I don't want to get super upset and work myself up about it and then be really disappointed and upset and have a bad last day of vacation.” So, then I did my best to backpedal but in the back of my mind I was like,” okay, well, I still want to look nice and make sure that I look how I want to and that things are how I would want them if we do get engaged.” So, I did my best to chill out but it probably didn't work very well, but it was fine in the end. So, then we go to the beach and it's this really nice beach, I forget what it's called.
SARAH: Beach.
KAYLA: It's a Cancun beach. It's where there's a Cancun sign that says ‘Cancun’ in the letters on the beach, I don't fucking know.
SARAH: Beach
KAYLA: Look it up. And the road that you get dropped off on is above the beach. The beach slopes down so it's a really nice view from up at the top of the beach, down to the ocean it's very clear water and stuff. So, we get there and we like make our way down to the beach and we're just walking around and I was like, “oh, I guess we'll just like sit.” Like they had like little like benches and like little umbrellas that were like permanent to the beach.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So, there was like some empty so I was thinking like, “oh, it's down.” Oh, also, Dean before we left was like, “oh, are you going to bring a bag?” And I was like, “oh, yeah, I'll like bring a purse. I want to bring my wallet and stuff.” And he's like, “okay, well, I have my sandals that I want to wear on the beach but they're kind of like nasty, so I want to bring shoes to the restaurant so I think I'm going to bring my backpack.” And I was like, “that doesn't really make sense to me. I think your sandals are fine but okay.” And he like kept pushing the backpack and I was like, “okay, I don't understand but if you must bring this backpack that's fine.” So, that was also suspicious.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: But, so, we get to the beach we walk down I thought we were going to like sit but we started like walking towards the direction of like where the beach ends. Like it went on for a while but like we were going in the direction where like there was more hotels in the distance so like the public beach was going to end at a certain point.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: So, we're walking that way and he's like, “oh, I don't even know if we could get back up to street level from here, maybe that way.” And I was like, “oh, isn't the restaurant like the other way and I'm sure the beach continues the other way, anyway.” And he was like, “yeah, I don't know, we'll just go up.” And I was like, “okay.” Because there was like a little like lookout area and like kind of like a building, there was people taking like quinceañero pictures in there.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: So, I was like, “okay.” So, then we go up there and we're like, “oh, a pretty view” and he's like, “oh, we can take a picture.” And I was like, “who is going to take a picture? Like take a selfie I guess?” And he was like, “oh, we could ask this lady.” And there was a woman we had just walked by who had a full ass professional camera. So, I was like “hmm.”
SARAH: Hmm
KAYLA: And I had not noticed her before so he should have just said nothing but he was… he had a lot going on. But so, I was like, “hmm.” And then he started like… he like put his backpack down and he started like doing his whole little speech.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: Which I don't… that's my business, don't worry about it.
SARAH: Oh.
KAYLA: It's just, I don't know. Don't worry about it.
SARAH: Was it a long speech?
KAYLA: No, it wasn't.
SARAH: Was it a short speech?
KAYLA: It wasn't. He just said some things. And then he… in the middle of what he was talking, he…
SARAH: He said, “I love you bitch.”
KAYLA: “Bitch.” Yeah.
SARAH: “And I'm not gonna stop loving you, bitch.”
KAYLA: “Bitch.” No.
SARAH: The ring was in his backpack, that's why he needed the backpack.
KAYLA: It was, that’s why needed the backpack. Yeah. And then also while he was talking, he went to like take my purse off my shoulder and I was like, “oh, so I should like take this off?” And he was like, “yeah, you can take your purse off.” And I should have taken my watch off too but there was a lot going on. And then… so, he like did his little speech and he got down on one knee and was like, “will you marry…” Well, neither of us really remember what happened exactly. Dean blacked out. Dean was like as soon as he like got the ring out of his backpack because that's why he needed the backpack was for the ring.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: He was like from that point like until the engagement was done he could like… he remembers what he sees but he does not remember… like he couldn't hear anything. So, he like really blacked out. He does not… He was like, “I don't even know for sure if I asked you to marry me.” And I was like, “I'll be honest, I don't know what I said either or what you said.” I remember saying, “mm-hmm” but I don't know if I said, “yes,” which is also funny to me because when my sister got engaged, like, I was there for her proposal and she said, “sure.” Which is fucking hilarious. And we all love to do a giggle about that. So, I was like fitting. It went great.
SARAH: It's giving when my cousin got married and her husband accidentally said, “awfully wedded wife.”
KAYLA: Yes. I love it.
SARAH: Anyway.
KAYLA: Yes. So, he like got down on one knee and he proposed and then I do remember saying like after he asked… because we think he asked and I said whatever I said, I'm like 99% sure he… because then I don't know what I would have been saying mm-hmm to, anyway, whatever. And then so he was still holding the box and I was like, “oh, you have to put the ring on.” Because I was so flustered that I was like, “I hope he doesn't forget he has to put the ring on my finger.” And he was like, “what do you mean? Put it on my finger?” And I was like, “no, put it on your finger? Put it on my finger.” And he was like, “yeah, I know.”
SARAH: You got to wear the ring Dean.
KAYLA: He was like, “me? wear it first?” He was like, “yeah, I know.” And then he did.
SARAH: I love the thought that you were both just like completely like blacked out that, like don't know what's… being like, “what? I have to wear the ring? Why would I have to wear the ring?”
KAYLA: And it's like… it's not even like I was totally surprised either because like I thought it could happen but I was just like so overwhelmed like I felt like I was going to throw up.
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: I was just like shook about it. I was just like dazed and he blacked out so I don't know. But then the lady who had the professional camera was a photographer that he hired so she took pictures like of the engagement moment itself and then we went down to the beach and took photos which we actually just got like an hour ago. We look really good.
SARAH: Slay.
KAYLA: So, they might be on my Instagram by the time this comes out.
SARAH: Your nails match your ring.
KAYLA: Okay. There has been a lot of discussion, a lot of controversy about my nails. Okay?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You'll see in the pictures my nails are green. My ring is an emerald, I guess, we can start there. My ring is an emerald and my nails are like dark green. She knows what they look like, I don’t know why I'm showing you. And literally almost everyone has been like, “oh, suspicious, she knew it was coming.” Or like, “how did you get her to get matching nails?” Brother, when I went to get my nails done with my friend Anna because we recently have been getting our nails done together, it's a very nice fun time. And I was getting my nails for this vacation and I wanted like sparkly blue like cat eye nails because I was like, “ah, ocean.” But I didn't like any of the blues they had.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: And so, I was like, “well, green is close enough.” I was hoping for like a teal but they didn't have that either. So, I was like green is like close enough, like, sometimes the water is vaguely green.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It'll be like palm trees and whatever. And my friend was getting green nails because she was like, “oh, St. Patrick's Day” and I was like, “oh, it works for both, St. Patrick's Day.” So, I got green nails. And now everyone is like, “she knew.” Literally everyone has been like, “what were you thinking?”
SARAH: Can I tell you a funny story?
KAYLA: Yes
SARAH: My co-worker she had been with her now husband for like seven years before they got engaged. And she was really annoyed that he hadn't proposed yet. And she was… like whenever her friends would get engaged, she would be like, “yeah, they got engaged and we still haven't gotten engaged.”
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: And like she… these are her words but she was like, “I was a bitch about it.”
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: And so, like, there were so many times where she thought that they might be getting engaged and then they weren't.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And so, they were like going on vacation or something and she was like, “there's no way we're getting engaged on this vacation.”
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: So, she got like… she got her nails done and they were like lilac purple dinosaur eggs.
KAYLA: Good. Yes.
SARAH: And then they got engaged.
KAYLA: I love that.
SARAH: So, her… like the photos from their engagement is like her like really nice ring and then just these purple dinosaur nails.
KAYLA: I love it. I love that.
SARAH: Remarkable.
KAYLA: I'm not mad about my nails. I had had people ask… because I've been like getting my nails done with my friend for like a couple of months and we knew this might be coming. And so, she was like, “do you want more plain ones or more like wedding-y nails?” or whatever. And I was like, “no, I'm not going to pay to get my nails done and then have them be boring. I want fun nails.”
SARAH: Tea
KAYLA: I know they match anyway. But yeah, literally everyone has been like, “what happened with your nails?”
SARAH: Because they match so well.
KAYLA: They do. Which I also didn't… I will say, so I did think about after I got these nails… I was worried about the green because I was like, “what if the ring is a different green?” Because I have like a family heirloom that's also an emerald ring but it's a much lighter emerald.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Because that one I think is real, this is a lab grown emerald.
[00:30:00]
SARAH: Hell yeah
KAYLA: No people were killed in the making of my ring.
SARAH: It's better for the world.
KAYLA: Yes. And so that… emerald is a lot lighter. And so, I did actually look at the ring next to my nails because I'm fucking crazy. And I was like, “oh, that looks like bad”. It's like clearly two different greens. But the green of this ring is like the exact shade, so.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I was on the phone with my parents earlier and they made me hold up the ring next to my finger on the camera for them to inspect the closeness of the color
SARAH: Oh my God
KAYLA: Because they were also like, “what's the deal with nails?”
SARAH: I saw a video recently where this girl was like, “I can't believe that like lab-grown diamonds look like this before they're cut.” And it's like, yeah, they look like cubes.
KAYLA: What do they look like?
SARAH: Like cubes.
KAYLA: That's also what like real… does she know what a real diamond looks like before it's cut? Like they look crazy.
SARAH: Like I don't know if she was expecting them to be like… they look uniform because they're lab grown.
KAYLA: Because it's lab grown. I guess she has never seen one before.
SARAH: And I was like… I mean it just looks like a block of glass basically.
KAYLA: Yeah. I mean…
SARAH: And it's like… yeah
KAYLA: That's what it is, I don't know.
SARAH: Like she was like so upset about it.
KAYLA: Does she know what a diamond looks like before it's cut? She knows it's just like a lumpy rock or whatever, right?
SARAH: Just a lumpy rock.
KAYLA: Like they look bad, I think. Pre-cut lab grown diamond.
SARAH: It's just a cube.
KAYLA: Yeah, there it is. Nasty little cube.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Covered in like dirt or something. I like it. I think it looks nice. So, anyway, I'm engaged. This is not going to be the engagement episode but for a while now since I knew that I was going to get engaged at some point in the near future I've been like, “I want to do an engagement episode where…” because I know some people are going to say some like batshit stuff
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Or like there's going to be… you know, people are going to treat you a certain way after you get engaged. So, I will be collecting data. I told Dean to collect data. And I will be having a full episode about weird shit that allos do when you get engaged.
SARAH: Yeah. Have you had people already ask you about like…
KAYLA: Yes, yes.
SARAH: I didn't even finish the sentence.
KAYLA: And I don't know. I don't know where. I don't know when. I just got here.
SARAH: I suggested the circus.
KAYLA: Which… and you know I love a circus.
SARAH: I mean like ethically…
KAYLA: Ethically bad. But speaking of circus we were talking about this because Sarah and I got engaged in front of the giraffes as did the people in our ‘Listener Lore’ story.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: Speaking of that ‘Listener Lore’ story.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I guess I should say this for a future ‘Listener Lore’ and I'll say it again then maybe. But the giraffe who the people got engaged in front of at Elle Bitter’s zoo had a baby.
SARAH: A baby. A tiny baby.
KAYLA: There it is.
SARAH: Actually, it's a very big baby.
KAYLA: It's a big baby. Oh my god there's a naming contest. Is it done? Well, now I know what zoo you work at.
SARAH: Nice.
KAYLA: Oh, I don't know about these names.
SARAH: What are they?
KAYLA: Oh, okay, they all have a fine story. Okay. So, there's three options that you can vote for the baby's name. Thorn, who wouldn't want to be named after a favorite woody food of giraffes? So, I guess they like Thorn? I don't know.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: Kujali, means to care in Swahili, the language of eastern African countries. Or Dagg, D-A-G-G., in honor of late giraffe researcher Dr. Anne Innis Dagg. So, these are the name options of baby giraffe.
SARAH: My vote is for Dagg.
KAYLA: I think you donate to vote which is fun, I like that.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You do. You can donate a certain amount of money to get a certain amount of votes, that's cute.
SARAH: Slay. Thank you for this update.
KAYLA: I love this.
SARAH: And this update brings us to…
KAYLA: True. My god.
SARAH: To what is ostensibly the topic of this podcast.
KAYLA: I guess.
SARAH: Which is, someone in the Discord, like a couple of weeks ago, it was Doptimus DT
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Said, “I thought this might be an interesting topic,” and it is a tweet. Well, it's a screenshot of an Instagram post, that's a screenshot of a tweet.
KAYLA: Great.
SARAH: From Mary Shenouda @paleoshef
KAYLA: Mm, mm-hmm.
SARAH: Nailed that. Which says, “if I don't choose to get married or have a baby shower does that mean the next time we all gather together is around my casket?” Reminder, some of your friends celebratory milestones may not be engagements, weddings, baby showers. Find out what's important to them and show up for that. So, I was like that we could have a nice conversation about things to celebrate, things to have parties for that aren't wedding or baby. And we could have done a whole episode out of that but instead we house kept for 37 minutes.
KAYLA: Listen, there was a lot of house to keep.
SARAH: A whole palace to keep.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: So, celebrating things that are not… because the thing about weddings or baby showers or whatever is like… especially weddings, it’s like that's the time when everyone you know and love and care about and probably also don't love but feel obligated to invite are all in one spot.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: To celebrate you and like the next time they will be is probably when you die.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Maybe a baby shower, if they're women
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Or if you have a non-gendered, you know.
KAYLA: Yeah. Which I also… I feel like people could make the argument of like, “oh, your birthday,” or whatever but the thing about like weddings and baby showers and shit like that is there is like an obligation to go. People will travel great lengths, will put it in their calendars, will like cancel other things to go to that event because it is like of that importance.
SARAH: Especially weddings it's like supposed to be like once in a lifetime, right?
KAYLA: Right. Yes.
SARAH: Your birthday you have every year.
KAYLA: Yes true. There's also like a sort of… I don't know how to say it, like there's a sort of like familial thing about weddings and baby showers like it's not just a celebration of you. I think it's often like people also celebrating like your parents to be like, “good job.”
SARAH: Like you did it.
KAYLA: You did it.
SARAH: You raised them and now they're like…
KAYLA: Yeah, now they’re like going off into their life, like that is the energy I get from a lot of weddings also and like why there are so many like distant weird ass relatives that will be at weddings is because like it's like they want to celebrate the growth of the family also. So, there's a lot of just like other dynamics that come into play that make it an event that like is that big and feels that like obligatory
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: And important and that doesn't get placed on like any other events really.
SARAH: Yeah. But for those of us who don't plan on getting married for example me like I don't have that event.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Like I don't have the standard excuse to bring everyone together and I have said before like, “oh, I should just do like a 30th birthday party.” But now that I'm 27 that seems so close to now.
KAYLA: Yeah, we're old.
SARAH: And I don't have money or the will to plan.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's fair.
SARAH: The thing about a wedding is that you're doing it with another person.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I'm turning 30 alone.
KAYLA: Oh no. Uh oh.
SARAH: Not for a couple of years yet but, you know.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Also, like, I think that's part of the discussion too is like even if I were to say like, “hello, this is the equivalent of my wedding, show up.”
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Like, I still think people wouldn't necessarily take that as seriously on the whole especially if they had to travel for it.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because there would be… no matter where I had I would probably… no matter where I have it, people will have to travel for it.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because it's not 1812 and my whole family doesn't live within two square miles of each other.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So, I don't know. It's just like you can try and convince people that like this is my one big life party but whether they truly accept that is another question.
KAYLA: Yeah. There's not the inherent like cultural thing around it.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Which, and this this kind of thing does exist in other cultures, right? You have like a quinceañera, you have a Bat Mitzvah.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Like other cultures and religions have these things. It's just like we… our people do not...
SARAH: It's usually a coming-of-age sort of thing.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I mean like in Catholicism you have like confirmation but it doesn't have the same weight as like a Bat Mitzvah or a quinceañera.
KAYLA: Right. Yeah.
SARAH: And I didn't get confirmed, so.
KAYLA: Well, there you go. I did but I don't think… certainly, my whole extended family was not there, so.
SARAH: Yeah. I had first communion in the Lord's second grade.
KAYLA: And we've all seen the pictures of that and they're glorious.
SARAH: He he he he
KAYLA: I love them so dearly.
SARAH: So, I mean what… let's discuss reasons we should have big parties.
[00:40:00]
KAYLA: Well, I have one example of someone who did do a big party.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I saw this first on TikTok in 2024, last year. I don't remember when I saw it. But there is a woman who successfully defended her PhD and like became a doctor. And so, she threw a giant party with like I think it was like 130 people in this like huge venue, like a wedding-looking venue. She threw a huge thing and it was like she threw like a solo wedding for her PhD and it was kind of like that what we're talking about.
SARAH: That's so fun.
KAYLA: There's an article about it in the New York Post which is really interesting because they also like break down all the prices for everything.
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: It was like seven and a half thousand dollars. Pretty reasonable for like…
SARAH: Honestly that's pretty… that's good.
KAYLA: For 130 people. She got a band.
SARAH: In New York? Or just this was… it was the New York Post who did the article?
KAYLA: It was the New York Post, I don't remember. Let me see, I think it'll say. She said she wanted to make sure she celebrated her achievement which she says is just as significant a milestone as having a baby or getting married. Love.
SARAH: Because I'm going to tell you right now, we recently…
KAYLA: Oh, a UK woman.
SARAH: Ah. Is that in pounds then? We recently had like a premiere party thing for our show and let me tell, it's hard to throw an event for 130 people, which we did not, we had half that.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: It would be very hard to pull that off with seven and a half grand.
KAYLA: Yeah. There's a big event at work we do every year for the graduating students, they have like a Ball like law schools have a Barristers' Ball that they do every year and we have like so many students and so we were doing the pricing for that and you just would not believe… like I was looking for venues and you just would not believe the price of these places.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It's crazy. Also, she said it's exactly what I do for a wedding. The best part is even if I do get married, I'm always going to be a doctor not a missus.
SARAH: Aww.
KAYLA: Slay. She graduated from the University of Leeds.
SARAH: Leeds. My cousin recently defended his PhD.
KAYLA: Slay.
SARAH: And they had like a nice dinner for like the family and it happened to be the weekend that I was home for door-knocking ahead of the election and so I happened to be able to go but like I would not have made the trip out just for that event but if it was his wedding I would have made the trip. So, like… and obviously it's slightly different because this wasn't being advertised as like big life event. It was like family dinner in the side room at a restaurant.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But still.
KAYLA: So, she paid $2,300 to hire this like Highbury Hall in Birmingham…
SARAH: Birmingham
KAYLA: From 4pm to 1am. She spent $941 hiring an Irish style cover band.
SARAH: Is this in dollars or in pounds?
KAYLA: It's the dollar sign, so.
SARAH: Alright.
KAYLA: She rented an over $1,000 designer dress for $110 on by rotation. Slay.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: She hired a professional photographer. She handmade decorations including disco balls.
SARAH: It seems like a really big process.
KAYLA: She did gift boxes, welcome drinks, homemade friendship bracelets. She handed in her thesis on June 10th and the party was on the 15th. She must have been so busy.
SARAH: Yeah. If she did all of that stuff herself, even if she had help, like she was busy preparing to defend her thesis.
KAYLA: Look at her nice dress.
SARAH: Oooh.
KAYLA: The dress code was, ‘outdress me,’ so that's fun.
SARAH: Hell, yeah. Ugh. I just remembered I have to figure out what to wear at a wedding this summer.
KAYLA: That sucks. She said if she does get married, she doesn't want to have a big party because she already did that.
SARAH: I already did that. Been there, done that.
KAYLA: Okay, so the venue, $2,300. Welcome drinks, $565. Band, $941. Food, $1,500. Other food, $250. Dress, $110. Photographer, almost $1,000. Decor, $500. Makeup, $63. Gift boxes, $63 each, so times that by 103. Homemade t-shirts, $125. And a fake four-tier wedding-style cake, $125.
SARAH: What do you mean fake?
KAYLA: I'm just reading the letters.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: I’m just delivering the news.
SARAH: Thank you, journalist Kayla.
KAYLA: You're so welcome. I think that's so fun. In this article, she emphasized we need to do this more. People are pressed to dream of their wedding one day, but they should have other things, too.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It’s so lovely.
SARAH: It was like me when I was a child, and I was like, “oh yeah, I want to get married.” It was like, “no, I want to have a wedding,” because that seems cool.
KAYLA: You want to wear fun clothes.
SARAH: Yes. I think that's a good time. I think we should be doing that more often.
KAYLA: I agree.
SARAH: What are other reasons, actual genuine... Well, okay, my sister, for when I adopted my child, my sister made birth announcements.
KAYLA: And they were gorgeous.
SARAH: Which I think we should be doing that for all pets. Pets should get baby announcements.
KAYLA: Yeah. We should do just more announcements, I think we should be doing more formal announcements.
SARAH: Well, it's like my sister's friend who did a formal announcement of her divorce.
KAYLA: I think we should do more of that.
SARAH: Yeah, more of that. More just formal announcements of everything.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Now I'm just imagining going all out and doing a paperless post. Where you send an email and you open a virtual envelope. Imagine paying money to send paperless posts to everyone you know being like, “I'm getting divorced!”
KAYLA: Listen, you would do it for getting married, why not do it for getting divorced? I think we should do it... We should have more divorce parties. I keep seeing people having divorce parties. Love it.
SARAH: Hey, there's an episode of ‘Wild Cards’ this season.
KAYLA: Divorce party.
SARAH: If you live in Canada, it was this past week. If you live in the United States, it's in a couple of weeks.
KAYLA: Spoilers!
SARAH: Do you follow the Real Housewives?
KAYLA: I know some of them that were on ‘Traders.’
SARAH: Do you know who Kyle Richards is?
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: She's one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And she's in an episode of ‘Wild Cards’ and she is really good.
KAYLA: I love that for her.
SARAH: Anyway, all the people who were like… Real Housewives people were like, “holy fuck, we got Kyle Richards.”
KAYLA: I love that.
SARAH: Which is crazy because we don't have any money, any money at all.
KAYLA: Oh no.
SARAH: Hee hee heee hee. What?
KAYLA: Divorce party.
SARAH: In the episode, it's like a Real Housewives-esque, whatever. And the thing is that one of them it is her divorce trip.
KAYLA: Fun.
SARAH: But then one of them dies.
KAYLA: Oops
SARAH: And so, then they were supposed to be doing this grief yoga about her divorce. But now obviously it's about this person who died and she was like, “but my divorce!”
KAYLA: “My divorce!” Oh, no. Oh, no.
SARAH: Anyway.
KAYLA: Yes, I think a divorce party, I think...
SARAH: So that's a sneak peek for anyone who is not in Canada.
KAYLA: Yeah, spoilers.
SARAH: I just told you way more about the episode than I probably should have, but…
KAYLA: It's already out in Canada though so really…
SARAH: It is, that's true, it's already out in Canada.
KAYLA: If someone really wanted to know, they could know.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: And I think when you buy a house you can have a big one.
SARAH: Housewarming party.
KAYLA: Housewarming.
SARAH: My sister is having a housewarming party soon. I am not flying to Michigan for it.
KAYLA: Well…
SARAH: I have already seen the house.
KAYLA: You also already flew for her wedding. She got her one, big one, and she decided to use it on a wedding. She didn't have to do that.
SARAH: Right. That's fair. You could use it on if you get a really good job or if you leave a really bad job.
KAYLA: I think yes, that's a big one. Quitting, huge. Party for quitting.
SARAH: Yeah. I mean if you have just like a good milestone birthday, I think go for it. Maybe not 30 because that's overwhelmingly soon.
KAYLA: Maybe a nice 40.
SARAH: Maybe a 35 even.
KAYLA: I remember there being… I think it was when my aunt or uncle turned 40, they had a big party with like a bunch of their friends and family that was like an over the hill party and it was like death-themed and I was a child and I was like, “what are we doing here in this basement?”
SARAH: Amazing.
KAYLA: But that was fun. I think if you do like a big project like at work or like you do a book or you like build something
SARAH: Yeah. I think if you're a criminal and you kill someone you could have a party for like you did your first time you're killing someone.
KAYLA: I feel like when people get out of prison for a long time they probably have…
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: People probably travel for that. I feel like people probably travel for that one.
SARAH: Yeah, and it's so important for people who are incarcerated to have like community when they get out. So, like that's such a good way to…
KAYLA: Yes
[00:50:00]
SARAH: Yes. I think another good reason to have a big party is I had it and then I forgot because I was thinking about prison.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Umm…
KAYLA: If you like put a pool in
SARAH: Yeah
KAYLA: That's huge, that's expensive.
SARAH: Just like general home improvement.
KAYLA: Yeah, celebrate, you got a pool.
SARAH: Your home has been improved, let's have a party.
KAYLA: Congratulations.
SARAH: I mean if you get a new pet, obviously
KAYLA: Yes, obviously.
SARAH: Although, you don't want to overwhelm the pet so depending on the disposition of the pet, you can make the choices.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: A party for… I mean, retirement parties already exist, but like make it a thing.
KAYLA: Huge. Big. Yeah.
SARAH: Yeah. If you like had an illness that kills people and you beat the illness that kills people, party.
KAYLA: A big party. I think if you had a plant that was on the brink and you brought it back, that's a big accomplishment.
SARAH: That is a huge accomplishment.
KAYLA: Party.
SARAH: Party. If you just like make a big home appliance purchase
KAYLA: I think large purchases of any kind.
SARAH: Yeah, like, it could be a Roomba.
KAYLA: A new phone, those are expensive. Party.
SARAH: Those are expensive as hell, make it more expensive by having a party.
KAYLA: By having a party. Perfect.
SARAH: You just found a really nice outfit and you're like, “I need to have somewhere to wear this.”
KAYLA: “I have to wear this.” Yes.
SARAH: I saw a video yesterday on the internet of someone who I was very confused at first because I thought that she had cancelled this order because her wedding got cancelled, but no. She was still getting married but she had had this dress, I don't think it was her wedding dress because it was like a short dress but like I think it was probably like for like the party thing after.
KAYLA: Rehearsal dinner? Reception?
SARAH: Reception something. It was like this white sparkly dress and it was a couple weeks before her wedding and like the people who were supposed to ship it to her were like, “we've cancelled your order.”
KAYLA: Oh, that's nice.
SARAH: And she was like, “what the fuck!?” So, the person on the internet saw that video and was like, “I have that dress.” And sent it to her.
KAYLA: Oops. So nice.
SARAH: Like she just like because… I guess she has a lot of shit in her closet and so she was like, “yeah, I'll send this to you.” And like she also like sent her like a bag with like some little goodies in it and she was like, “happy wedding!”
KAYLA: That's so cute. Oh my God. That’s slay. Have a party for that, like people are nice.
SARAH: Have a party for that. If you do your makeup really really well
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Like immediate, drop everything, it's time for a party.
KAYLA: Everything. Quit your job. It's time to party.
SARAH: If you get like your nails done in a really nice way.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: If you get like a limb amputated you can have like a funeral for the limb.
KAYLA: Oh, that’s fun, yeah.
SARAH: Did you see that video of that girl who got like an arm amputated and she asked for the arm back?
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: And they had a funeral for her arm.
KAYLA: I'm surprised they gave it back, I feel like they don't usually do that.
SARAH: Yeah, well, they did.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: And then it was like they had it in like a little casket. And then she was like touching it and she was like, “that's weird.”
KAYLA: I don't think I would have touched it; I think that would have been too weird for me. If you run a marathon
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That's a lot.
SARAH: Any like sporting physical achievement
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And that can also be like if you have been a non-ambulatory wheelchair user and you like stand up and you get to stand for five minutes, that's a reason for a party.
KAYLA: Party. Mm-hmm
SARAH: You get a six pack, like of abs.
KAYLA: That's huge. That's like really hard because it's not just about working out.
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: It's also what you're eating and drinking, it's too much.
SARAH: And have a party that ruins your six pack.
KAYLA: Yes. And then you can build them back and have another party.
SARAH: If you like write a book or you make a film or you finish… I mean that's similar to like the big project thing but like, you know, party for it.
KAYLA: Party.
SARAH: If you were like reading something that was really long, like if you finished ‘Les Misérables,’ the book.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. That's big. That's a very large book.
SARAH: Or like the ‘Ron Chernow Hamilton Biography.’ Just like a book that's really long, if you finish it, party.
KAYLA: Party.
SARAH: If you set a book reading goal and you meet it in a year, party.
KAYLA: Party.
SARAH: If you draw a perfect circle.
KAYLA: That's huge. No one is doing that. That deserves a party.
SARAH: The circle doesn't have to be huge but just…
KAYLA: But the party will be.
SARAH: The party will be. Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: If you win an award or more importantly, if you lose an award
KAYLA: Perfect.
SARAH: It's an honor to be nominated and it's an honor to lose.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: This is a really specific thing but if you were told that you won an award and then it was taken back because they read the cue card wrong.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I hope the producers of ‘La La Land’ did that.
KAYLA: I think about them sometimes, that was crazy.
SARAH: That was fine.
KAYLA: That was so crazy.
SARAH: Silly Sally. Oh my God, if you transition.
KAYLA: Huge. Yes.
SARAH: If you get new pronouns, a gender reveal party.
KAYLA: New name, if you do a name change.
SARAH: Oh, yeah
KAYLA: A name reveal party.
SARAH: A name reveal party. Just like general sexuality romantic orientation reveal party.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: If you get tested for autism. If you get tested for really anything.
KAYLA: Anything, yeah.
SARAH: Just a reveal.
KAYLA: Reveal party.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: If you get any sort of cosmetic surgery, a body reveal party.
SARAH: Body reveal, face reveal, veneer reveal.
KAYLA: Brazilian butt reveal.
SARAH: Mm.
KAYLA: No?
SARAH: I don't know that I would want to go to that.
KAYLA: I mean I wouldn't either but you could have it.
SARAH: You could have it. Anything with a pinata.
KAYLA: I will be having a pinata at my birthday this year. I have my birthday this year already planned out, the theme at least.
SARAH: Oh.
KAYLA: My friend made a Pinterest board, it's a whole thing. There’ll be a pinata.
SARAH: Wow. What is it?
KAYLA: Okay, so, go with me here.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: So, it started with I had seen a TikTok of these people doing a party where you're all like sitting at a table and you can't talk until you finish a bottle of wine. So, it all just gets very silly and you're like doing charades and like drawing on the tablecloth to try to communicate. And so, then I was like thinking about like drawing on like a paper tablecloth and it just made me think of like feral child birthday parties. So, we're gonna do the wine thing. But then the theme of the birthday is like not like the cute princess tea parties that like adults do now where everyone like dresses up classy. I want like a feral sticky child's pretty pretty princess birthday party. So, like gaudy plastic jewelry. Mismatched socks and leggings under my princess dress. Hair askew. Fingers sticky. Shit everywhere. Nasty food.
SARAH: Sparkly lip gloss all over your face.
KAYLA: Yes. This is my party theme, it is that.
SARAH: I love that for you.
KAYLA: Mm.
SARAH: I get stressed out by birthdays in my old age.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: I used to not really do anything for birthdays usually.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And now I feel compelled to because I don't ever see my friends and it's an excuse to make you see them. But then they can't come sometimes and then you take it very personally.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And you have to plan the whole thing yourself.
KAYLA: Last year I made other people plan it for me and that was magical.
SARAH: I can't do that.
KAYLA: Just do it.
SARAH: I don't know people.
KAYLA: You do.
SARAH: I saw a tweet yesterday, two days ago, it really doesn't matter when I saw it.
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: They were just talking about like romanticizing K-pop groups because nothing to do with the actual K-pop but just like having a group of friends who you are very close with, who you have lived with, who you work with, like, who you are stuck with for the rest of your life, people are like, “that sounds great.”
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And I was thinking about that and the group ‘Seventeen’ has thirteen members and I realized I don't think I even know twelve people in the city I live in.
KAYLA: I don’t think that that’s true.
SARAH: Like I know twelve people. But like I'm not like good… like I… you know?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Like I don't have twelve people in the city of Los Angeles who I would want to be stuck in a K-pop group with.
KAYLA: That's fair.
SARAH: And I'm like, “damn, okay.”
KAYLA: I'm trying to think if I have twelve people. Like I know twelve people here, but that I want to be stuck in a K-pop group with for the rest of my life, I don't know if I'm getting it. How many? Twelve?
SARAH: Yeah. You also have to think about like, “would they even join my K-pop group?”
KAYLA: Mm
SARAH: Like, I don't mean that from like would they want to be a K-pop idol. I don't mean that. I mean like do they think of me as a close enough friend to want to join my K-pop group?
[01:00:00]
KAYLA: Yeah. I'm not getting to twelve.
SARAH: No.
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: I'm not even getting close to double digits.
KAYLA: If I could get outside of the city I could do it, but I don't know.
SARAH: I don't even know if I could do that. I don't even know if I could do it if I went outside of the city.
KAYLA: I think you could do it.
SARAH: I have to get eleven more cats.
KAYLA: Oh, if I can add my cats I might get, getting slightly more reasonable.
SARAH: Anyway, I think we should stop now.
KAYLA: I agree. I'm sleepy.
SARAH: I have to edit this.
KAYLA: Every time.
SARAH: Every goddamn time.
KAYLA: Every time.
SARAH: Kayla, what's our poll for this week? I think our poll should be,” who had a more important life event?” Sarah or Kayla?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Cat or engagement?
KAYLA: Engagement.
SARAH: Might I remind you that we've known that Kayla was going to get engaged for a while. It's not a surprise.
KAYLA: Well, we also knew about the cat. Not for as long, but we did know about the cat.
SARAH: We knew I wanted a cat but we didn't know for sure that I could get a cat.
KAYLA: We did recently though.
SARAH: Bigger fun surprise.
KAYLA: Okay. Fine. We'll let the people decide. I also want to know what people would celebrate like a wedding, I want other ideas of what we can celebrate.
SARAH: Yeah. I agree. Obviously like graduating, a thesis, a PhD
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: But they also don't have to be achievement
KAYLA: It could be anything.
SARAH: They can just be existence, you know?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Slay. Alright, Kayla, what's your beef and your juice for this week? Should we even do this? We did our whole housekeeping.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's fair. I want to mention one thing.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: ‘Marcel the Shell with Shoes On.’
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: How did y'all let me go so long without watching that?
SARAH: Oh, did you watch it on the airplane?
KAYLA: Yeah. So good.
SARAH: Did you cry?
KAYLA: I got very close. I was watching it with Dean, we watched it at the same time and he fell asleep.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: I gave the ring back. We've been doing a lot of giving the ring back but sometimes he'll try to take it off my finger, sometimes I just hand it back to him. It's been fun.
SARAH: Good. I actually haven't seen ‘Marcel the Shell with Shoes On’ but I…
KAYLA: I love it.
SARAH: I mean, I know the OG from the YouTube videos back in the day.
KAYLA: See, I don't know the OG, Marcel.
SARAH: I do. But I haven't seen the movie.
KAYLA: The movie is so good.
SARAH: But I've heard that it's very good and very emo.
KAYLA: It did make me emo.
SARAH: Great. You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your ‘Marcel the Shell with Shoes On’ on our social media @soundsfakepod. We also have a Patreon. patreon.com/soundsfakepod if you want to give us money so that Kayla can pay for her wedding and I can pay for cat treats.
KAYLA: Yes, honestly, please.
SARAH: We have a new $2 patron. Meg, the new $2 patron, just knew and they said, “I'm gonna contribute $2 to this fund.” And we thank you for that Meg.
KAYLA: And we thank you for that.
SARAH: You goddamn icon. Our $5 patrons who we are promoting this week are Rebekah Monnin, SammyO, Scott Ainslie, Simon and Snordstorm or snordstorm depending on who you ask. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Bones, who would like to promote… still has never told me, Celina Dobson who would like to… Bones who would like to promote getting a cat first, second, getting engaged.
KAYLA: Yeah, this is fair.
SARAH: Celina Dobson who would like to promote the Critical Role Foundation, Clare Olsen who would like to promote Impact_Frame, Derick & Carissa who would like to promote supporting each other through the transitions we face, and Elle Bitter who would like to promote both normalizing the use of tone indicators and the fact that that giraffe had a baby.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: We also have a new $10 patron, it's Eric. Thank you so much, Eric. Let us know what you want to promote. Eriiiiic. Kayla is not paying attention.
KAYLA: I was looking at ‘Marcel the Shell.’
SARAH: Our other $10… Kayla doesn't give a fuck about Eric.
KAYLA: Eric, I love you, but I love, ‘Marcel the Shell’ as well.
SARAH: Okay. Our other $10 patrons are my Aunt Jeanie, Kayla's dad, Maff, Martin Chiesl, Olivia O’Shea, Parker, Phoenix Leodinh, Purple Hayes, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm, Val, Alastor, Alyson, Ani, Arcnes and Benjamin Ybarra. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Andrew Hillum who would like to promote the Invisible Special Podcast, Hector Murillo who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla’s Aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggartart.com, and Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are Dragonfly, Dr. Jacki, my mom, and River who would like to promote… oh my God a reason for a party, getting a fake, getting like a knee replacement or a hip replacement.
KAYLA: Oh, true.
SARAH: Hey, my mom has a new knee, two knee, I forgot what her hip is named, and she's going to be getting another hip at some point so maybe we can have a party for the fourth one, you know?
KAYLA: Yeah
SARAH: Anyway. They promote that. Thanks for listening. Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears.
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]
