Sounds Fake But Okay
Sounds Fake But Okay
Ep 341: Trans Aspec Solidarity
Hey what's up hello! This week we discuss the overlap between transphobia and aphobia and the importance of trans aspec solidarity.
TW: transphobia
Episode Transcript: www.soundsfakepod.com/transcripts/trans-aspec-solidarity
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SARAH: Hey what’s up hello. Welcome to Sounds Fake But Okay, a podcast where an aro-ace girl (I’m Sarah. That’s me.)
KAYLA: And a bi-demisexual girl (that’s me, Kayla.)
SARAH: Talk about all things to do with love, relationships, sexuality, and pretty much anything else we just don't understand.
KAYLA: On today's episode, ‘Trans Aspec Solidarity.’
BOTH: Sounds fake, but okay.
SARAH: Welcome back to the pod.
KAYLA: Hello.
SARAH: What's up everybody. This episode is coming out on 4-20.
KAYLA: Oh, slay.
SARAH: Also known as Hitler's birthday and Easter.
KAYLA: And Easter. How are you all celebrating? Also, the birthday of two moms that I know.
SARAH: Yeah, one mom that I know.
KAYLA: I know of two, I found out today of someone else's mom who has a 4-20 birthday and I said, “another one.”
SARAH: “Another one.”
KAYLA: I hope you all have a great celebration of that.
SARAH: That. The woman who comes in every week to clean in our office.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: She's always like, “Oh, do you have any plans for the weekend?” And that is always what… or like, “Oh, do you have any plans for…” whatever is happening that weekend? And it makes me remember that there are holidays and things…
KAYLA: That’s nice.
SARAH: And she was like, “Oh, are you ready for Easter?” And I was like, “Girl…”
KAYLA: No
SARAH: “I don't know. Are you?” She was like… Yeah, she was like you go and like… you go… Like she knows that I'm from Michigan. So, she was like, “are you going home?” And I was like, “no.”
KAYLA: No.
SARAH: My girl, Heidi, I don't have a single goddamn thing planned.
KAYLA: I love that.
SARAH: Although my mom said that something would be delivered to my house and then I should not open it until Sunday. Because last time something was delivered to my house for my birthday, I didn't think about it and I opened it right away. And then I was yelled at.
KAYLA: But this is a secret Easter thing?
SARAH: Listen, I don't know.
KAYLA: All right. All right.
SARAH: I hope everyone has a great Easter Passover, 4-20.
KAYLA: Mom's birthday, 4-20.
SARAH: Whatever you celebrate in your household.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Perhaps all three.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm, at once.
SARAH: Do you have any housekeeping?
KAYLA: Um, I might have housekeeping. I think…. Well, I know that my future brother-in-law, Peter, Dean's brother has a podcast called ‘The Glass Slipping Podcast’ with his friend
SARAH: The what?
KAYLA: Glass slipping
SARAH: Like glass slipper, but slipping, whoa, I fell over?
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: He does it with his friend Keaton, who is a member of the band Daisy grenade. I guested on their podcast. We recorded over the weekend. I believe that episode should already be out by the time you're listening to this.
SARAH: Okay slay.
KAYLA: But it's possible that it's not coming out until next week, so.
SARAH: What did you talk about?
KAYLA: Mostly podcast stuff. The podcast is about… they have like entertainment industry people on because Dean's brother…
SARAH: Is in the theater
KAYLA: Is in the theater world and he does the theater and also a lot of like online content stuff. And then Keaton is in a band obviously and also does theaters. They have a lot of like entertainment people on to talk about like the reality behind working in entertainment and a lot of the like money factors and just like that kind of thing.
SARAH: Who is the most famous person they've had on aside from you?
KAYLA: One of the guys from… they had Patrick Stump on from Fall Out Boy…
SARAH: Nice.
KAYLA: Because Keaton's band, Daisy grenade, is on his label, he put together their band, so they had him on
SARAH: He put them together? Like in K-pop they got put together?
KAYLA: I don't know exactly what the origin is, but they're on his label.
SARAH: Okay.
KAYLA: So, yeah.
SARAH: Slay.
KAYLA: And then there's me, ha ha ha.
SARAH: And then there's you.
KAYLA: And there's me. So yeah, that's either out already or will be out next week. But it was the first video podcast I've ever done. So, it was kind of scary to be honest.
SARAH: Did you tell them about all the bank that we're making?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Because we make absolute bank on this podcast
KAYLA: So much money. Yeah, it was funny…
SARAH: It doesn't fuck us in our taxes.
KAYLA: Yeah, it definitely didn't make my taxes so deeply upsetting this year. Um, no, it was funny. They were like, “Oh, do you guys like run ads” or like, “what are your numbers these days?” And I was like, “No, and I don't know anymore.” I was like, “we used to care about that kind of thing and then we got burnt out and we don't anymore, sorry.”
SARAH: We're literally just vibing.
KAYLA: I don't have a good answer for you.
SARAH: Just vibing. Okay, Kayla, what are we talking about this week?
KAYLA: This week, kind of speaking of just vibing, I guess we'll start there. Often on this podcast, we try to keep things very light. We like try to stay away from… at this point, I feel like we've evolved to like staying away from more like serious and upsetting topics almost on purpose, just because we're trying to be more of like…
SARAH: We'll talk about serious things, but not like upsetting things quite as much.
KAYLA: Yeah, I think… And we do that very purposefully, especially like, in the later years of this podcast, because we're just more interested in being like, a distraction and more like every day aspec life, rather than like…
SARAH: Like, I don't want to get into that shit.
KAYLA: Right. Rather than getting into like discourse or like education so much anymore, that's just like, not what we find…
SARAH: No one likes discourse.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's just not what we find joy in anymore. And also, like, we're just not very good at it. And there's a lot of people who are like, good about like writing and talking about and engaging with those more serious topics.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: With all that said, there are lots of serious things going on right now, obviously, in many domains of the world. And I was like, we need to like… we can't just like not talk about some of this shit, especially when it affects the queer community and the aspec community so closely. So today, we're talking about transness, and specifically, like solidarity between transness and aspecness today, because some really shit ass legislation passed in the UK today.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. And it continues to be shit ass in the US. Like that's just our baseline.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: But the event has happened in the UK. Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah. Um, so you might have a better way of explaining this than me. But from what I understand, the UK Supreme Court passed a law that makes the definition of a woman more strict.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: It's like by chromosomes now, which leaves trans women out of that definition and is also just like medically incorrect, and it's just like harmful for like women overall, not just trans women, but definitely it is specifically targeting trans women.
SARAH: Also, what do they do about intersex people?
KAYLA: Well, yeah, exactly. Because that's the thing is like, sex does not come down to just chromosomes, like it's like, there's like 50 unique markers or whatever that like makes up what your sex is.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It's not just genitalia and chromosomes, there are so many other things in your body that go into what your identified sex is. So, it's really just like, for so many reasons, extremely fucked up.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: So, there was that. And then also, I've seen some interesting discourse about what J.K. Rowling said, I think last week or two weeks ago about International Asexuality Day, and kind of the links of that to her anti-transness. And then I also think she was a big backer of this anti-trans legislation that was passed. So, I've seen a lot of discourse about that. So, I thought we would talk about that for a little bit. And then maybe we could shift into something lighter towards the end to make fun of transphobes and feel a bit better.
SARAH: And then we'll get silly.
KAYLA: And then we'll try to be silly. If you don't know about the J.K. Rowling thing, I think we briefly mentioned it last week, just that she said some fuck shit. But during International Asexuality Day, the other day, she tweeted out and was like, oh, happy like ‘International Oppression Day’ or like ‘International I Feel Oppressed Day.’ And it was just like, okay. But I think that was her first time coming for the asexuals. So, people were like, “okay.”
SARAH: “Okay.”
KAYLA: But I did see some really interesting stuff online first about the importance of aspec-trans solidarity because so many aspecs are trans or just genderqueer more generally. I don't remember what the last asexual census was. It was maybe like 20% or 30% of aspec folks that took the census were genderqueer.
SARAH: And that statistics…
KAYLA: A lot.
SARAH: Not usual.
KAYLA: Not usual. Which makes sense. I feel like we've talked about this before about the link between aspecness and gender of like, okay, if you're not going to be trying to attract someone, then it's like, what is gender really without trying to put on the presentation of gender to attract someone?
SARAH: And also, if you're dissecting, thinking about your identity in an aspec way and taking it apart and being like, none of this matters, you may do the same thing with your gender.
KAYLA: Yeah, definitely. Which obviously isn't the same for everyone. Like I remember when we were writing our book and we had the whole gender chapter and we asked people about, what is the relationship between your sexuality and your gender identity? And it definitely wasn't the same for everyone. Some people were like, they are completely distinct, separate, they don't have any relation to each other. And other people were like, yeah, I definitely think my gender is informed by my sexuality or one way or the other.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Either way, a huge crossover. So, it's just extremely important at this time.
SARAH: This summer's biggest crossover event.
KAYLA: Summer’s biggest crossover event, trans and aspec people.
SARAH: Traspec.
[00:10:00]
KAYLA: Traspec. So, it's obviously just very important that we show our love and solidarity for the trans community.
SARAH: Yes.
KAYLA: But it was also just interesting seeing people's theories about why a transphobe like J.K. Rowling would be threatened by asexuality or why…
SARAH: Because she hates everything she doesn't understand.
KAYLA: That for sure. I also saw an interesting theory, let me see if I can find… a lot of these things I'm pulling from our Discord because there was a really good conversation about this stuff in Discord and a lot of people were like linking like the hits, like, “here are the top tweets happening right now.” So, I was like, “oh, thank you.”
SARAH: Thanks for this. Thanks for doing our job.
KAYLA: Yeah, for real. Someone named Jess McLaughlin on Blue Sky was talking about like, you know, I know this sounds kind of like conspiracy theory shit, but they're like, I'm pretty sure like I wouldn't be surprised if J.K. Rowling started going down this train of thought is that… they said, “there's a strain of turfdom that believes that recognition of asexuality is a psyop because in their minds puberty blockers make you ace and thus normalizing asexuality is a step in the evil trans plot. “
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: And something, something, no one will ever… something, something, “no one will question how these children have been broken by evil transness if we're supposed to be nice to ace people.”
SARAH: I have a question.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: If puberty blockers make you ace, does that mean that trans people or any trans people who have taken puberty blockers are inherently ace? Because I thought they were supposed to be predators, like sexual predators is what I've heard.
KAYLA: The story is… yeah.
SARAH: So, how do those… if they're not interested in sex, but they also are pedophiles, how does that work?
KAYLA: That's a great question. Because yeah, why should I be concerned about them being in my bathroom?
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: If they have… not to say people without sexual attraction can't be predators, obviously.
SARAH: Certainly, but they think of it in a very black and white way.
KAYLA: Yes. That's a very good point.
SARAH: We're just accepting their logic and poking holes in it.
KAYLA: Yeah, so I thought that was very interesting. And then also just the, obviously the idea of like, I think transness and aspecness go against the status quo in a similar way.
SARAH: No kidding. Yeah.
KAYLA: Stop it. You know, I think, like gayness and biness is one thing like we often talk about. It's like, okay, you feel attraction the same way I do just towards a different type of person.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It's a little bit easier to map onto, but I think transness and aspecness are just different enough.
SARAH: Yeah, it's like, dude, what are you doing? What does this even mean?
KAYLA: It so goes against what we are taught and what we learn is natural human behavior and like basic, like biology or like, you know, just like the condition of like being an animal or whatever
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: That it's just like completely just like cannot understand, cannot compute and also are then threatened by because if you're like a J.K. Rowling, who's this white cis rich woman who's used to being in power, but also being just oppressed enough to be like, wave the woman flag, then you're going to be threatened by people coming in and being like, “actually, what if I have rights as well too?”
SARAH: I will add that she also, because she came from poverty, she can pull that card like, well, I'm a billionaire now, but… and you know, I can't speak to… not that there's a poverty Olympics. Like, I've only heard stories of what her life was like, I don't know what it actually looked like. But, you know, that's another thing that she can whip out.
KAYLA: Yeah, it's definitely… I mean, it's the very specific brand of white feminism of like, yeah, definitely the oppression Olympics, which is like, we all know how we feel about that.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But, yeah, I don't know, J.K. Rowling, I know people don't like when we discuss her. We've read the comments about our book, okay, leave us alone. But she just continues to baffle me.
SARAH: I mean, on one hand, I don't want to give her more attention. On the other hand, I think we have to in situations like this, because she is causing damage to… like, she supported this law or this case or whatever in the UK.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And she has so much money and she can do all of these things.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And so yes, sometimes it feels like rage bait, but it has an actual impact on human lives. And so, you do need to address that at a certain point.
KAYLA: Yeah, I definitely like, agree with like, I have not bought any of her like products or things that make her money, you know, like, I think that is like, for sure. But yeah, I see stuff… I mean, we saw it with our book, because we like briefly mentioned J.K. Rowling in our book. And I've seen it with other stuff, too, of people being like, “I don't like that you talked about her at all.” Like, “I'm not reading this book.” Like, “I'm not going to buy it.” Whatever.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: Which I really just like… like you said, I don't get because it does need to be addressed. Like she is a huge cultural icon. Her IP is massive and continues to...
SARAH: Her IP has shaped an entire generation of people.
KAYLA: Right. Like you said, like, it's unavoidable, her impact. And it's like, we don't talk like, we're still talking about like, Hitler and like Donald Trump.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You can't just not talk about problematic people like, yes, you should not be giving them too much of a platform.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: But like, you can't just not address the issues.
SARAH: It's like the discussion of because the White House press corps has now been taken over by the Trump administration and how they're not letting the AP in because they won't call it the Gulf of America. And people are like, well, all of the other reputable news sources should band together and just like boycott it essentially.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But then what happens is you don't have adults in the room to do the reporting and the reporting doesn't get done. And then there are things that we don't know about. And so, like, you have to find the right balance.
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah. Like, am I saying we need to talk about J.K. Rowling like all day every day? No.
SARAH: In fact, I'd rather not.
KAYLA: I'd rather not. But when she is putting huge money behind these kinds of things and making like these huge statements, you can't just let that happen and we're just not going to talk about it.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Because then that's just like, what are we, you know, I don't know. I'd be interested to hear, like, if people really have a strong opinion about like, no one should ever be talking about her, I would love to know what you think we should be doing when things like these happen.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Like, how are we supposed to report the news of like where she's putting her money if we're not going to be talking about her? But maybe I'm like, I don't know. Maybe there's a complete big argument that I'm missing or something. But…
SARAH: Yeah. And I understand people who like don't want to acknowledge her in their own life. And I understand that maybe if… I think this applies less to our book, but maybe if they come to our podcast for like escapism, I can understand why they don't want to like hear about this shit.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But like, yeah, girl, I don't know what to tell you.
KAYLA: Yeah. I mean, at a certain point, it's a bit unavoidable when it's like the news.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I fear.
SARAH: Do you have anything else we want to say on this serious part?
KAYLA: I don't know. It's hard. I mean, it's hard to know what to say at this point about like anything.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Which is another reason why I think we like tend to go towards escapism, especially at like times like these because it's like…
SARAH: What can we say that hasn't already been said? What can we contribute to the conversation that helps?
KAYLA: Right. Like, I don't think you or I are like, positioned to be making like strong political analysis or like sociological like…
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: You know?
SARAH: And like, I don't think of myself as an activist. So, I'm not the person who should necessarily be like, putting stuff together, you know?
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Not to say that you have to be, you know, a full-time activist to do stuff and make a difference because you absolutely do not, but.
KAYLA: Yeah. I guess we'll just say… like, if you're… there are a lot of people talking about this kind of thing online, in the aspec community, like we, we are also just like not super plugged in online anymore, because we just like, got very burnt out, which I'm sure a lot of you probably have too at this point, in any online community, but I would just encourage people to get information from trans people specifically, especially in the UK about what's going on. And just to listen to like aspec trans voices, especially about their experiences.
SARAH: You're valid.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: You're the best. I hope you get the opportunity to kick Joanne, Katherine? Katherine?
KAYLA: No idea what the K is.
SARAH: I don't care what the K is for. Joanne Kunt Rowling in the tit.
KAYLA: I agree.
SARAH: Perhaps even the other tit.
KAYLA: Perhaps even.
SARAH: Okay. What did we say we were gonna do? It was my idea.
KAYLA: It was. Can I do one last serious thing?
SARAH: Uh huh.
KAYLA: This is not related to transness at all, but just because of where I am living and working right now, just something that's on my mind a lot.
[00:20:00]
SARAH: Mm
KAYLA: If anyone listening is like a visa holder, an immigrant green card holder also know that we also don't have that much intelligence to say on that topic either, but I just like…
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: I don't know. I don't know that our words of encouragement, like make anyone feel better at all, but…
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: We're also thinking of you and people should definitely be reading about what's going on there and doing what they can reading up on their rights and the rights of other people and what you can do to protect other people's rights.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. If you ever see ICE in public and you would like to alert people that ICE is there, loudly call them ‘La Migra’ because I have heard that Spanish-speaking populations don't necessarily always call them ICE.
KAYLA: Oh, interesting.
SARAH: They call them ‘La Migra.’ And so, if they don't have as provisioned of English being like, “oh, it's ICE.” Also, if you're in like a grocery store and you're like, “oh, it's ICE,” you're like, “okay, we're in the freezer aisle.”
KAYLA: In a grocery store. Mm-hmm.
SARAH: So that's something to know. If you are in the United States, you belong here, unless your name is Donald Trump or Elon Musk, in which case, leave.
KAYLA: Die.
SARAH: Get the fuck out.
KAYLA: Die.
SARAH: Okay. What did I say we're doing? Uh, oh, things to do to piss off transphobes.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: I wrote down a couple.
KAYLA: Okay. I am unprepared, but I did the first half, so I'll be sitting here now.
SARAH: Yeah. Yeah.
KAYLA: He he he, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SARAH: Um, so first, uh, you can mail them a bunch of crickets.
KAYLA: Okay. Live? I'm assuming.
SARAH: Like reptile food, you know?
KAYLA: Yeah. I saw a bearded dragon eat a cricket over the weekend.
SARAH: Oh, wow. How was that for you?
KAYLA: It was good. And then I held her and she was a diva.
SARAH: Wow. Transphobes would hate that.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: They hate diva bearded dragons. Well, because she's a she and she has a beard.
KAYLA: She's a diva and she has a beard. Yeah.
SARAH: And she has a beard, that really upsets them.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: It upsets them a lot. So, that's something you can do to piss off a transphobe.
KAYLA: I think you could, especially if you have a transphobe in your life that you know very well, perhaps like your grandma or something, be like, “oh grandma, do you want to go to bingo? Do you know where you're going? It's drag bingo at the gay bar, that's where you're going.”
SARAH: Mm.
KAYLA: My local gay bar, I keep seeing posts about them having drag bingo and I want to go so bad.
SARAH: That eats. Reviving the bingo industry.
KAYLA: This is what I'm saying.
SARAH: Through drag.
KAYLA: I need to go to that.
SARAH: Like they say American industry is dying, but here we are.
KAYLA: It's not, it’s at the gay bar.
SARAH: It's at the gay bar.
KAYLA: It just moved to the gay bar with the drag queens.
SARAH: It’s just somewhere else now. Um, I think a great thing to do is change all the signs on gendered bathrooms and change them to images that are completely indiscernible. So, you cannot tell which bathroom is supposed to be which. You know how people will try and be cute with doors and bucks or whatever
KAYLA: I hate that. I hate that.
SARAH: But then they start getting too abstract to the point where you can't really tell.
KAYLA: That always stresses me out so bad.
SARAH: That is what I want us to do, but on crack, like on purpose and on crack.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. Do you have any suggestions? Oh, perfect. Okay.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay, great. I'll be quiet.
SARAH: For example, this was inspired by, you know how there are those signs that are like, it doesn't matter what you are, as long as you wash your hands or whatever…
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And it shows a stereotypical man figure and then a woman and then like person in a wheelchair and then an alien, you know?
KAYLA: Yes. I know this sign.
SARAH: And a person who's a half woman and wearing a half dress. I don't...
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Yeah. Inspired by that. I would like to see one where one is an alien that has Shrek ears that point up.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: And the other is an alien that has Shrek ears that point down.
KAYLA: Point down. Okay. Well...
SARAH: What the fuck is that? Perfect.
KAYLA: I already have a guess about which would be which though.
SARAH: What is that?
KAYLA: I think the Shrek ears that go down is the penis.
SARAH: Hmm. Could be.
KAYLA: So, I think that needs to be less discernible, I think you need to go further.
SARAH: What if one, it's like one, one direction, one the other, and then the other is just the opposite.
KAYLA: Okay. That's good.
SARAH: Okay. My other idea is it's on the door instead of male or female or whatever. It's a picture of a six-week-old fetus. And you say to them, “you tell me.”
KAYLA: Ah
SARAH: But the joke is that at six weeks, all fetuses are female, female.
KAYLA: Are female. Hmm.
SARAH: So, men cannot piss, they have nowhere to go.
KAYLA: I love that.
SARAH: Mm-hmm. And then my final idea, although I think this is my weakest one. I originally was like, well, one is a spiral that goes one way and one is a spiral that goes the other way.
KAYLA: Perfect.
SARAH: But I think those are a little too similar. You know, it's a little hard to discern. So, I thought a spiral and then the other one is just a square, but then I thought that might be too obvious because the square would obviously be men because they don't have complex thoughts or curves.
KAYLA: I also thought the square was a man.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: So, I came up with some other ones that as I was thinking about them, I was like, “well, no, you could interpret this as this.”
KAYLA: That’s the thing is I'm trying to think…
SARAH: You have to make it really abstract
KAYLA: Because I thought about it too, I was like, “what are two shapes you could pick?” Because I was like, “Oh, triangle and circle,” or like triangle and square, I feel like you could gender those.
SARAH: Yeah. I thought raccoon and possum, but raccoons wear eyeliner and possums are bigger.
KAYLA: Are bigger, are they?
SARAH: Well, they have really thick tails and that upsets me.
KAYLA: I was about to say cat and dog, but that one's also obvious.
SARAH: Mm-hmm.
KAYLA: Okay. What else?
SARAH: Moose and caribou.
KAYLA: That's good. For some reason, if I had to pick one, I would say the caribou is the lady.
SARAH: I think you're right.
KAYLA: Damn it. We need to find one that we can't tell.
SARAH: Sea lion and seal.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: But they look so similar.
KAYLA: Sea otter and river otter.
SARAH: Now…
KAYLA: Now we're cooking.
SARAH: I think the river otter is the woman.
KAYLA: Yeah, I think you might be right. Shit.
SARAH: But it could be the sea otter because women are obviously more powerful.
KAYLA: What about Android and iPhone? I think the iPhone is the woman.
SARAH: The iPhone is the woman.
KAYLA: We can't find anything.
SARAH: What about the... It's so hard. The color yellow and the color purple. Purple is too femme.
KAYLA: What about…
SARAH: The color yellow and the color green, green is a man.
KAYLA: What about a pigeon and a seagull? Pigeon is the lady.
SARAH: You know, I…
KAYLA: You think the seagull is the lady?
SARAH: Instinctively I said seagull, but then as soon as I thought about it, it is the pigeon.
KAYLA: The pigeon is the lady. Okay. What about...
SARAH: Arm Day and Leg Day. No, that's way too easy.
KAYLA: Hands and feet.
SARAH: Hands and feet, are they dainty hands and feet?
KAYLA: Yeah. That's a good question.
SARAH: They're both dainty?
KAYLA: They're both just normal.
SARAH: Normal for a man or normal for a woman because there's...
KAYLA: Average.
SARAH: You know?
KAYLA: Perfectly average.
SARAH: Perfectly average. Maybe.
KAYLA: I think the hands are the lady.
SARAH: I think so too. I was about to say I think the foot is the man.
KAYLA: What about a pen and a pencil?
SARAH: Pencil is the lady.
KAYLA: Okay. That one I didn't really have an answer for.
SARAH: Because women are fickle.
KAYLA: Women are fickle.
SARAH: And men are sure of themselves.
KAYLA: Oh, interesting.
SARAH: You can't erase them.
KAYLA: You can’t erase a man, that's so true.
SARAH: What about... No, that's way too easy.
KAYLA: Now I'm just looking around my room.
SARAH: I think it would just have to be really abstract.
KAYLA: I think it would have to just be like two blobs but they look slightly different.
SARAH: Or like a collection of items. Some of which... If you took a bunch of the things we just talked about, mixed them up.
KAYLA: Yeah. Switch them all up.
SARAH: Yeah. So, if it was like a moose, a pencil, a hand, a possum.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: And a tooth just for fun.
KAYLA: I have the perfect thing.
SARAH: I'm ready.
KAYLA: One is NSYNC and the other is...
SARAH: Backstreet Boys?
KAYLA: Backstreet Boys.
SARAH: I think the Backstreet Boys are women but I'm not sure.
KAYLA: Fuck, I thought the same thing.
SARAH: Dammit!
KAYLA: Shit!
SARAH: Hi, this is Sarah from the future. I do feel compelled to know that the Backstreet Boys literally have the word ‘boy’ in their name though and somehow neither of us considered that. I don't know, just something to noodle on. Thank you. The Macarena or the Cha-Cha Slide?
[00:30:00]
KAYLA: Macarena is a lady.
SARAH: See, I wasn't sure.
KAYLA: Mm, that's how I felt about pencil and pen.
SARAH: There is hip movement.
KAYLA: Yeah. Macarena just sounds like a lady.
SARAH: I actually have encountered someone named Macarena that was a woman so that'll do it.
KAYLA: Yeah. Well, the North Pole and the South Pole.
SARAH: North Pole is the man.
KAYLA: I think they're completely the same, this one I can't do.
SARAH: The North Pole is where Santa is.
KAYLA: I guess. But Mrs. Claus is also there.
SARAH: Yeah, I actually think that one is unsure. The North Pole because man on top, you know? But I don't...
KAYLA: I think we found it, that's the one. We finally did it. The outline of the North Pole and the outline of the South Pole.
SARAH: I was going to say Eastern or Western Hemisphere, but I think that one also... What would you say?
KAYLA: Eastern and Western Hemisphere?
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: I have nothing. Maybe wherever Europe is is the lady.
SARAH: Wrong.
KAYLA: No?
SARAH: The Western Hemisphere is the man. Because Western might. Western power. The Eastern Hemisphere is the woman because they have effeminate men, supposedly.
KAYLA: Mm, I don't like this game anymore.
SARAH: I don't either. Things you can do to piss off transphobes.
KAYLA: Play that game.
SARAH: Send them...
KAYLA: To the space with Katy Perry.
SARAH: Yes. Perfect. Send them a whole bunch of, you know, like squeaky rubber chickens?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: But like a lot of them. But only one of them works.
KAYLA: Interesting.
SARAH: And it's like a needle in a haystack to find the one that works.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: And then make them wear shutter shades every day for the rest of their life.
KAYLA: Shutter shades?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: The fuck is that?
SARAH: You know in 2008 when people wore sunglasses like LMFAO and Party Rock Anthem with lines across them?
KAYLA: Oh, yes.
SARAH: Those are shutter shades.
KAYLA: Oh, yeah, that would be annoying to wear every day.
SARAH: And also, absolutely out of style.
KAYLA: Yeah. Not that transphobes…
SARAH: It's embarrassing.
KAYLA: I feel like people who are transphobes, I just don't see them as stylish.
SARAH: Yeah, they're stylish and they look older than they are. Like fucking the other day, I don't know if you've seen my TikTok. You know Karoline Leavitt, the White House press secretary?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: How old do you think she is?
KAYLA: 60-something.
SARAH: Have you ever seen a photo of her?
KAYLA: Not that I can like... I can't picture her in my mind.
SARAH: Google her. Look at her. Tell me how old she is.
KAYLA: This? Her?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: 35?
SARAH: You know what year she was born in?
KAYLA: Mm mm.
SARAH: 1997.
KAYLA: She's our age?
SARAH: She's our age.
KAYLA: She's looking older than me.
SARAH: She's married to a 59-year-old man.
KAYLA: Sorry, a 27-year-old is the press secretary?
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: What a terrible idea.
SARAH: But also, I'm like, damn, maybe if I had just become a conservative bootlicker, I could be the White House press secretary.
KAYLA: This picture especially, she's not looking 27 here.
SARAH: Yeah, and she has no lips. Since she has become White House press secretary, she has learned how to overline her lips because she got made fun of so much.
KAYLA: It's the conservative makeup.
SARAH: Oh yeah. And I looked… yesterday when I was making this TikTok about how she looks like she's 35, but she's 27.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: I looked up a picture of her before she had her work done, I would not recognize her on the street, like doesn't look the same.
KAYLA: Good.
SARAH: Also, because I learned also yesterday about Mar-a-Lago face, which is the plastic surgery and the fillers and all of the work that conservative women get done that's why they all look the same as each other.
KAYLA: Huh
SARAH: It's called Mar-a-Lago face.
KAYLA: And you know what that is? Gender affirming care.
SARAH: Gender affirming care.
KAYLA: Oh wow, they're all looking bad.
SARAH: Yeah, and it's like they're trying to make their faces all look the same. And they all look bad.
KAYLA: They're all making their mouths look wide.
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: It's not like the lips are big, it's like a widening of everything. Making your... How interesting.
SARAH: And they're kind of going for the Michael Jackson nose.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But I don't... You know?
KAYLA: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SARAH: Okay. Anyway.
KAYLA: That's what would piss off a transphobe, tell them that any of their cosmetic surgeries are gender affirming care.
SARAH: Oh yeah, absolutely.
KAYLA: Do you know how much gender affirming care Donald Trump has received?
SARAH: So much.
KAYLA: So much.
SARAH: Every time...
KAYLA: That hair is not his.
SARAH: Every time they take that goddamn Cheeto dust and smash it on his face.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Gender affirming care.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Every time he gets a new toupee.
KAYLA: Yeah. His new comb-over.
SARAH: Hey, I've seen some videos on Instagram recently of like this woman who does like realistic-looking toupees.
KAYLA: I love her.
SARAH: Honestly, they look so good.
KAYLA: She's really good. They look so good.
SARAH: They look so good. They look real.
KAYLA: Maybe he would be less of a terrible person if he just had a good toupee.
SARAH: Yeah, maybe.
KAYLA: Probably not, but…
SARAH: Or like a suit that fit him properly.
KAYLA: He does that on purpose.
SARAH: I know. It's stupid.
KAYLA: Insane.
SARAH: I think a way to piss off a transphobe is to give them a really underhanded compliment.
KAYLA: Like what?
SARAH: I'm trying to think.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: I'm just thinking back to what was it last week or the week before where I said that you should tell someone that they look like they've been divorced.
KAYLA: I do not remember you saying that, but I love that very much.
SARAH: Like you have the look of someone who has been divorced.
KAYLA: Yeah. Mar-a-Lago face does give divorced face.
SARAH: Oh yeah.
KAYLA: That is like divorcee like midlife crisis.
SARAH: Fucking Kimberly Guilfoyle go from Gavin Newsom to a Trump stooge. Literally, how do you go from being engaged to Gavin Newsom to being engaged to a Trump?
KAYLA: That's a great question.
SARAH: I don't know. I mean, to be fair, both are equally insane in opposite directions.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: If you don't know anything about Gavin Newsom, if you're in the United States and you've just heard his name sometimes, he's the governor of California. He is clinically psychotic.
KAYLA: I don't think I've ever heard one good thing about this man.
SARAH: He's our psycho, you know, because he's a Democrat. But also, he could be a serial killer.
KAYLA: Mm, yeah.
SARAH: He's that person where everyone in California, to a certain extent, has a certain fondness for him just because they're like, “that's our freak,” you know?
KAYLA: Uh-huh.
SARAH: But he's so weird. But he's also like good at his job. You know?
KAYLA: Mm, yeah.
SARAH: Like he wouldn't be there if he was horrible at his job.
KAYLA: But he's a little freak.
SARAH: I mean, he's one of the front runners for 2028.
KAYLA: I'll take anything.
SARAH: People are talking about him. People are talking about our girl from Michigan, Gretchen Whitmer.
KAYLA: Gretcheeeeeeen. I will take literally anything at this time.
SARAH: Yeah. Anyway, one last thing you can do to piss off a transphobe.
KAYLA: Spit in their face.
SARAH: Register as a Democrat.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Register. Call yourself a communist.
KAYLA: I mean, hey. I saw a fake Coachella lineup today and it had Karl Marx as one of the subheadliners. I said, “yes.” It was Lady Gaga and then Karl Marx.
SARAH: Karl Marx. I think they would get along so well.
KAYLA: Oh, yeah.
SARAH: They would be absolutely yapping it up backstage.
KAYLA: It was a complete spoof lineup, but the only thing that was the same was Lady Gaga.
SARAH: It was Lady Gaga. Abracadabra. Ooh la la.
KAYLA: Ooh la… Ooh na na.
SARAH: I don't like that song.
KAYLA: I think it's fun.
SARAH: I'm sorry.
KAYLA: I wouldn't listen to it in my home alone, but if it came on at the club, I would fucking go crazy.
SARAH: That's fair. It's not for me.
KAYLA: I saw a video of one of the gay clubs here in Boston when that song came out. Someone took a video of like the first time that it played in the club. Ooh, the gays of Boston. We're living. All the little gay men of Boston.
SARAH: I love that for them. When you say little gay men, I'm picturing little leprechauns.
KAYLA: I mean, it is Boston, so. Short kings up in the streets.
SARAH: Shipping up to Boston, AO. Okay. Shipping up to Boston to find my wooden leg. All right. You know what transphobes hate?
KAYLA: Mm?
SARAH: ‘Shipping up to Boston to find my wooden leg.’
KAYLA: I'm sure there's quite a few transphobes here, I don't know.
SARAH: I meant the song.
KAYLA: Okay. I hate to say this, but I think a lot of transphobes really like that song.
SARAH: I think we need to reclaim good music.
KAYLA: Okay.
[00:40:0]
SARAH: Not that they have good music because they don't.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: But songs that are classic white people's songs.
KAYLA: Yeah, reclaim.
SARAH: We got our Sweet Carolines. Our December 1963?
KAYLA: I don't know.
SARAH: Oh, what a night.
KAYLA: Yep.
SARAH: We've got our doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. Come on Eileen. I had to go through the song by Dexys Midnight Runners.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: We continue to have ‘The Killers’ fucking what's it called? Why can't I think of anything right now? What's the name of that fucking song? Mr. Brightside.
KAYLA: Yes.
SARAH: Jesus Christ. I just think that we need to really associate those beloved songs, those beloved white people songs with lefties.
KAYLA: Yeah. I agree.
SARAH: Not liberals. Leftists.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Keep going. Keep walking.
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: Keep walking west, baby. Okay. Kayla, what is our poll for this week?
KAYLA: How can you piss off a transphobe today?
SARAH: Piss on them.
KAYLA: What can you do to make a transphobe's life worse today?
SARAH: What can you do to terrorize J.K. Rowling?
KAYLA: Exist, it seems.
SARAH: Basically. All right. Great. What… Huh? What is your beef and your juice. You. You. Go.
KAYLA: Me. Me. I had the beef earlier. I mean, there's a lot.
SARAH: I want to say my juice right now, there's a kitten at my feet.
KAYLA: That's very sweet.
SARAH: I didn't feel her come in, but then I was like, “wait, there's a warm and a fluff.”
KAYLA: There's a warm…
SARAH: Kitten. Okay. Continue.
KAYLA: I don't remember what I was going to say. I will just say my beef is that one of my kittens was being very stinky last night and kept waking me up in the middle of the night and that was not good. My juice is the Kit Kats that are like, they have a shape that they do for the holidays now.
SARAH: Mm-hmm
KAYLA: My parents sent me the Easter versions, it's a little bunny, which is very exciting because I missed the Valentine’s Day versions, which were a heart and I couldn't find the Easter ones in my local store and I was getting really sad about it, but my parents sent me some. And the ratio of the chocolate on the ones that are shaped is just better. It's just so good. Love a Kit Kat. My other juice is that tomorrow I am seeing ‘Pride and Prejudice’ in theaters…
SARAH: Hell, yeah.
KAYLA: Because it's the 20th anniversary of the 2005 film of ‘Pride and Prejudice’ and I'm so excited. I'm making my friends go with me and I'm going to watch it and I'm going to say, “yes.”
SARAH: Hell yeah. I love that for you.
KAYLA: Thank you.
SARAH: My juice was my kitten, but now she's walking all over my desk and I had to pick up my keyboard so she doesn't step on it.
KAYLA: Oh, that's what that is.
SARAH: Yes. It's my keyboard.
KAYLA: She's doing a big sniff, a big sniff around.
SARAH: I have a series of beefs that I'm going to give to you quickfire. Okay?
KAYLA: Okay. I see you have a list out.
SARAH: Uh-huh. I typoed it so it says beer instead of beef.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: Okay. Email at work is broken. My phone is full. I spent $1,200 on my breaks last weekend and I am anemic.
KAYLA: Yeah, you are anemic.
SARAH: Those are my four beefs.
KAYLA: Yeah. Oh, I remember my beef.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: I had to get a new insurance this week and insurance doesn't make sense, people.
SARAH: It's absolute buffoonery.
KAYLA: It has been a while since I've had to make an active choice. Like, I've been given options of here are some different plans and I did not understand. And so, I was on the phone with my parents last night just catching up and then I was like, “okay, I have to go. I promised myself I would do my insurance stuff tonight.” Not five minutes later was I calling them back saying, “I do not understand anything that's happening.”
SARAH: Whenever I have anything insurance-related, I just give it to my sister.
KAYLA: That’s… yeah.
SARAH: When I got my dental insurance, I was like, “here, tell me what to get.”
KAYLA: Yeah.
SARAH: And she researched it and she looked at it and she was like, “get this one.” And I was like, “great, thank you.”
KAYLA: Yeah, that's what I do to my dad because my dad is like very well versed on medical stuff these days. So, I just said, “here you go, papa.”
SARAH: Yeah.
KAYLA: Okay, I'm done now.
SARAH: Great. Good for us. Oh, my other beef is that I had to once again pay a shit ton of money in taxes.
KAYLA: Me too.
SARAH: I owed money. I hate the government.
KAYLA: Me too.
SARAH: I wouldn't be so mad about them taking all my money if they did something good with it.
KAYLA: Wait, I have one more juice.
SARAH: What?
KAYLA: The Stranger Things play on Broadway right now is so fucking good.
SARAH: Tea.
KAYLA: I really hope they release a pro shot because A, it's really, really good. And B, there's like important plot information that if they don't work it into season five, I'm going to be like, “hey, what!?”
SARAH: “Hey, what's up with that?”
KAYLA: “What's up with that?”
SARAH: We're only on season five?
KAYLA: That's the last season though. Each episode is like two hours long. They filmed like seven movies. It's going to be crazy.
SARAH: And they're a hundred years old?
KAYLA: Yeah, they have to de-age them all, but it's so good. It was definitely scary. There was like children in the audience and I was like, “that's not good,” because I was screaming out loud.
SARAH: Mm.
KAYLA: I think everyone around me was so annoyed.
SARAH: My other, it's a gravy, like it's mostly a juice, but it was a gravy.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm.
SARAH: Jin announced his solo tour.
KAYLA: Okay.
SARAH: But it starts in July, which is when all of them are going to be back.
KAYLA: Oh, that's weird.
SARAH: So, people are thinking that we might get a solo tour from all of them individually… No. Stop it. Sorry.
KAYLA: I think you can put that down now probably.
SARAH: No, because whenever I put it down, she comes over here.
KAYLA: She's fiends for it.
SARAH: Sorry, I accidentally hit the play button on my keyboard in my hand. But some people think that they might all be doing solo tours before they do a tour with all seven of them, which is horrible for everybody's wallets.
KAYLA: Yeah, that's tough. Yeah, that sounds expensive.
SARAH: But also, he said that he wanted to do it as like the end of ‘Run Jin.’ He said, “well, let's just do a concert.” And so, he's doing two concerts at a very small venue in Seoul and then he's doing a world tour. He's going to Amsterdam. He's playing at the O2 Arena. He's going to Tampa.
KAYLA: Ew.
SARAH: Like, they've never been to Tampa before.
KAYLA: Maybe they're testing out new markets with him.
SARAH: Usually, Hive groups go to the same cities over and over and over again and we were like, “Tampa? Amsterdam?” Also, this time, in LA, it's actually in Anaheim, so take that. And also, someone on the internet was like, “oh, I knew about this a little while ago because I work in entertainment and he was booking the venue that I work at.” And events like this have code names so that you can talk about them in public without people knowing what it was. And the code name for the Jin concerts was ‘Big Tuna.’
KAYLA: That is very silly.
SARAH: Anyway, you can tell us about your beef… No, my beef was that, that I did that and I'm so sorry. You can tell us about your beef, your juice, your thoughts on what we should do to make J.K. Rowling's life a living hell on our social media, @soundsfakepod. We also have a Patreon, patreon.com/soundsfakepod, if you want to support us there. We have a new $5 patron. It's Alma. Thanks, Alma.
KAYLA: Whooooooo
SARAH: You're the best. We also have some other $5 patrons who we're going to promote this week and they are Emily Jean, Finafs, Galvin Ford, and Green_sarah. You know what I just realized? Sarah Green has been a patron for a long time.
KAYLA: Mm-hmm
SARAH: Sarah Green is the name of John Green's wife.
KAYLA: John Green's wife? What are you doing here?
SARAH: Sarah Urist Green? Is that you?
KAYLA: Is that you?
SARAH: I'm guessing no.
KAYLA: Who's to say?
SARAH: But you never know. Our $10 patrons who are promoting something this week are Derick & Carissa, who would like to promote supporting each other through the transitions we face, the trans-itions we face. Elle Bitter, who would like to promote normalizing the use of tone indicators /srs. Eric, who would like to promote Queer ASL. My Aunt Jeannie who would like to promote Christopher’s Haven. And Kayla's dad, who would like to promote JandiCreations.com. Our other $10 patrons are Maff, Martin Chiesl, Olivia O’Shea, Parker, Phoenix Leodinh, Purple Hayes, Barefoot Backpacker, SongOStorm, Val, Alastor, Alyson, Ani, Arcnes, Benjamin Ybarra, Bones, Celina Dobson and Clare Olsen. Our $15 patrons are Ace who would like to promote the writer Crystal Scherer, Andrew Hillum who would like to promote The Invisible Spectrum Podcast, Hector Murillo who would like to promote friends that are supportive, constructive, and help you grow as a better person, Nathaniel White who would like to promote NathanielJWhiteDesigns.com, Kayla’s Aunt Nina who would like to promote katemaggartart.com, and Schnell who would like to promote accepting that everyone is different and that's awesome. Our $20 patrons are Dragonfly, Dr. Jacki, my mom, and River, who would like to promote the fact that if you haven't submitted your taxes yet, you're late.
KAYLA: Yeah, I don't know what to say about all that.
SARAH: In the United States of America, I can't speak for other countries. We had our Tax Day. I'm sad. Thanks for listening! Tune in next Sunday for more of us in your ears!
KAYLA: And until then, take good care of your cows.
SARAH: I hope they paid their taxes too.
KAYLA: I hope they didn't have taxes.
SARAH: Me too.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]
